


Sanditon Season 2: Finding Their Way Back To Each Other

by Earthprincess4



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen, Welcome to Sanditon
Genre: Angst, Continuation, Drama, F/M, Happily Ever After, Regency Romance, Romance, Sanditon, Sanditon Ending, Sanditon Season 2, Sidlotte - Sanditon, proper ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:53:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 201,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23191216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Earthprincess4/pseuds/Earthprincess4
Summary: **NOW COMPLETE**Sanditon season 1 ended horribly. With no guarantee of a second season, I have to give Charlotte and Sidney a happy ending. Hopefully we get a second season, but for now this is my interpretation of season 2. There will be an HEA but it's going to take some time to get there.Charlotte and Alison are invited back to Sanditon to be Lady Denham's companions. When they arrive, Lady Denham quickly puts Charlotte in charge of the rebuild in Sanditon. What Charlotte wasn't expecting was Sidney Parker to show up at every turn. Between Lady Denham, Lady Susan, Georgiana, Mr. Crowe, Lord Babington, and a feisty little sister all working together, Sidney and Charlotte will find their way back to each other.
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker, Crowe/Alison
Comments: 763
Kudos: 808





	1. Morning Post

**Author's Note:**

> I started posting this version of a season 2/HEA on fanfiction.net and had a request to post it here too. I'm not very familiar with this format and I'm still trying to learn my way around it. Hopefully all this works and the Sanditon community likes my interpretation of what happens next. Thanks for reading.

"The morning post has arrived," my brother George announced coming through the door. "I've never seen so many parcels. All for Charlotte, of course. How many people are there in this Sanditon place anyway?"

Hearing the word Sanditon made my heart clench. I loved Sanditon but thinking about what might have been, what I lost, made fresh tears well up in my eyes.

My brother continued babbling about the morning post while I paid no attention to what he was saying and continued to stare out the window. "Mrs. Parker, Miss Lambe, Mr. Parker, Mr. Stringer, Lady Denham, Lady Babington, another Mr. Parker, and a Miss Parker…"

My breath hitched for a moment when my brother announced another Mr. Parker. I expected a letter from Mr. Tom Parker, but not another Mr. Parker. It couldn't possibly be from the Mr. Parker I longed to hear from. He would never be so improper though, would he?

I jumped from my chair and jerked the letters from my brother's hands. He looked at me with a shocked look, as did my parents who looked up from what they were doing in total surprise of my actions.

"Charlotte, what has gotten into you?" my father asked.

"It's not polite to announce every letter I receive," I said angrily. "I can read them myself." I stormed out of the house and ran to my favorite spot on the bridge. There was a little makeshift stairway that led to underneath the bridge with a stoop to sit on where even if someone came across the bridge, they would never know I was there.

I sat down and quickly started flipping through the letters searching for the one from Mr. Parker. I daresay I had wishful thinking going on inside my mind. Could it be?

I quickly ripped open the letter and discovered that it wasn't a letter from Sidney, of course it wasn't. In fact, it was a wedding announcement from Mrs. Eliza Campion and Mr. Sidney Parker. Fresh tears streamed down my face thinking on it and reading the words over and over again. Sidney would never send this to me. It had to have been Mrs. Campion. She was an evil woman who was trapping Sidney in a marriage I wanted to believe he never wanted. I thought about our parting when he told me he didn't love her. How the look on his face told me everything I needed to know about how he felt about me, about her, about his family. If it hadn't been for the fire, I would be the one on this wedding announcement.

I took a deep breath and steadied myself, wiping the tears away with the back of my hand. I needed to focus on something else. I ripped open the letter from Georgiana hoping that letter would make me feel better in some way. Unfortunately, it didn't. Georgiana's letter consisted of her detest for Sanditon, for Mrs. Griffiths, for Mr. Hankins, and of course for Sidney. She reprimanded me for falling for someone like Sidney Parker and thought I had more sense than that. She then went on and on about how her Otis had left her for the Navy and may never return. She was heartbroken for sure, but it didn't give her the right to reprimand me. We had both made mistakes in love. But somehow, we would both mend our broken hearts.

I went to Jenny's letter instead thinking that one might bring me some joy. Indeed, it did, as both Jenny and Alicia had drawn portraits of the boats sailing on the river. Jenny had even written on hers "Admiral Heywood is our hero" which made me smile, yet long to go back to that special time I spent with the children and Sidney. Everything about Sanditon made me think of Sidney. I couldn't get away from him.

I read the letter from Esther Babington next as the last few weeks in Sanditon we had become close. She talked much about her new life with Lord Babington and how fond of him she had become. She tried so desperately to push him away at first, but realizes now how much she truly cares for him and wants nothing more than to make him happy and be the wife he deserves. She thanked me for being a good friend and seeing a better version of herself than she saw. I didn't believe I saw anything better. I just saw someone who needed a good friend and I was happy to be that for her. I couldn't be more thrilled for her also. She truly deserved her happiness and Lord Babington was her perfect match.

I opened the letters from Mary and Tom Parker next. Both letters were similar in news. Both missed my presence in Sanditon and wished I would consider coming to visit again. The thought excited me yet made me dread it as well. The thought of going back and possibly running into Sidney had me worried. But how much I would love to see all the new friends I had made there.

I opened the letter from Mr. Stringer next. He wanted to inform me of his plans to take the apprenticeship offer in London after all. After talking with me, he felt like it was the best thing to do. Like myself, Sanditon did nothing but remind him of his pain and he felt like he needed to get away for awhile. He had decided to pass on his foreman position to his good friend Fred Robinson. I didn't know Mr. Robinson well, but I hoped he was up to the challenge of working with Mr. Tom Parker.

My next letter came from Diana Parker. I was not expecting a letter from her. I regret, we didn't have much time to get to know one another better. I did enjoy my time with Arthur though. He was a funny character who made me laugh. He could bring out the joy in Georgiana as well, which I truly appreciated.

Dear Charlotte,

I fear I have no one else to talk to. I have been stricken with worry for my dear brothers and sister-in-law Mary. Our family is truly fractured, and I have no idea how to fix it. I fear we all may parish very soon.

Sidney is in London preparing to marry Mrs. Campion, but I can see the pain and hurt on his face when I speak to him. I don't believe he loves her and all I keep thinking about is what you said at the luncheon party with Lady Denham. A marriage without love can be a sort of prison. I daresay my brother Sidney has indebted himself to prison. He has been frequenting the bars with Mr. Crowe quite a lot and gambling away his fortune like he did all those years ago. I don't know what will become of him.

My brother Tom and his wife Mary seem to be more at odds than ever before. Tom has spent most of the last weeks in London desperately trying to find a way to save Sanditon, ignoring Mary and the kids all together. I fear even with the money Sidney has secured for him, it will not be enough and he will set himself up for debtors' prison still. Poor Mary and the children will be on the streets. He has been at odds with Sidney as Tom has been trying to talk some sense into him about the drinking and gambling, but Sidney seems to resent Tom and refuses to listen to him. They have gotten in many quarrels as of late. I don't know how to help them.

My poor Arthur seems to be the worst off of the lot. I fear he will not survive another London winter. We have been seeing the new doctor here in London almost daily, but nothing seems to be helping his spirits. He has become bedridden and refuses to talk to anyone, especially his brothers. I daresay both Tom and Sidney have not treated him well these last weeks.

You always seem to be so sensible and able to fix everything. Please tell me how I can mend our broken family.

Your desperate friend,

Diana

Tears welled up in my eyes yet again at the thought of what was happening to the Parker family. I know Diana can be dramatic at time, but this sounded sincere. I didn't know what to tell her and I definitely didn't know how to fix anything. What could I do? Why would Diana think I could do anything?

"Charlotte," my sister Alison whispered. My breath hitched and I quickly brushed my tears away trying to hide my face from her. She came closer and sat down next to me on the stoop under the bridge. "Charlotte what is it? I fear something horrible must have happened for you to be in such a state." I hadn't spoken to Alison much about my last weeks in Sanditon and what all had transpired between Sidney and myself. How could I?

I tried to smile and brush off the pain written on my face. "It's nothing."

"Charlotte speak to me. Let me help you," Alison insisted. "We all see there is something troubling you. Mother and Father are stricken with worry for your wellbeing. What can we do?"

Fresh tears streamed down my face and my whole body shook. I fell into her arms and sobbed tears I had been holding in for weeks. Alison held me tight and allowed me to cry without words.

I stayed with Alison all afternoon under the bridge and told her everything. All about what had happened in Sanditon and all about what my letters informed me. I even showed her the wedding announcement.

"Maybe you should go back," Alison suggested. "Maybe going to Sanditon will help your spirits but also help those who are hurting. You seem to have made an impact on almost everyone in Sanditon."

I shook my head. "I can't risk facing him."

"He's in London, is he not?" Alison reminded. "I don't believe you will have to worry about seeing him at all. You can spend your days with everyone else you care about. Our little Willingden has become too small for you. I believe you need the excitement of a bigger and busier town."

Alison was right. Willingden had become too small for my taste. I definitely didn't want to live in a big city like London, but I did enjoy the excitement of Sanditon. The problem was, everything in Sanditon would remind me of Sidney and I couldn't face that yet. "I can't," I said.

Alison nodded her head in agreement and rubbed my shoulder in comfort. "I have an idea." Alison searched through my letters and took out the wedding announcement then walked a few steps to the riverbank.

"What are you doing?" I inquired. Without saying a word, Alison began ripping the announcement into little pieces. I watched intently, unable to move as the pieces got smaller and smaller. She turned towards me with a grin on her face then threw all the little pieces into the air and let them land in the river. I giggled as I watched all those fragmented pieces of paper float away. It actually felt good to watch them disappear and be free of Mrs. Campion's deceits. I didn't believe I'd ever be free of Sidney's pull on my heart, but I refused to let Mrs. Campion have any part of it.

I looked down at my letters and realized I had yet to open the letter from Lady Denham. Why on earth would Lady Denham write to me? Alison sat down next to me seeing the troubled look on my face.

"What is it now?" Alison asked.

"It's a letter from Lady Denham," I said still looking at it with a confused expression. I opened it up to see what on earth she would want to write to me.

Dear Charlotte,

I have decided to take you in as my guest. With Clara banished from my home and now Esther married off to Lord Babington, I find myself lacking in company. It has become dreadfully lonely and I'm in need of a companion. I have come to admire your spirit as you remind me of my younger days. It has also come to my attention that not only was it your idea for the regatta, but it was your connections to Lady Worcester that brought many influential people from London to enjoy our Sanditon while I was on my deathbed. You have become a great asset to Sanditon and we need you back. Please accept my invitation to come stay with me for the unforeseeable future. Once here, I'm sure I can help you find a suitable husband, since you lacked in any luck the last time you were here. If you must, bring a sister to help you settle in, preferably someone who plays piano. I have great plans for you and may need an extra companion while you are further engaged.

I expect to see you very soon.

Lady Denham

Alison and I stared at each other with astonishment. I was not being invited; I was being told. I had no choice but to go to Sanditon again.

"Will you take me?" Alison asked with excitement. "I'm not the greatest at playing the piano, but I can follow music. What I wouldn't give to have half the adventures you've had in Sanditon." My heart yet again ached. A part of me longed to be back there, to show my sister all the wonders of Sanditon and introduce her to all the wonderful people I'd come to love. Yet another part of me feared I'd come to regret it as everything would remind me of Sidney.

I spent the rest of the day telling Alison all about Lady Denham and what to expect from her. I feared Alison would not do well in Lady Denham's presence. I believe I may have been trying to secretly talk her out of wanting to go, but Alison grew more excited with every word I spoke. I couldn't possibly deny her of an adventure like mine.


	2. Willingden Ball

"Out of the question!" my father spat hitting his fist against the table.

"Papa, you don't tell Lady Denham no," I said. "I must go. And Alison will go too." I reached for Alison's hand in support. She gave me a slight smile which told me she worried father would say no despite the firm request from Lady Denham.

"How can I send my daughter back to a place that has brought her so much pain?" he asked.

I sat down next to him and placed my hand on his clenched fist. "Papa, Sanditon didn't bring me pain. In fact, Sanditon brings me much joy. Being away from Sanditon is what gives me pain. I long to be back there," I explained knowing deep down it wasn't quite the truth. I did enjoy Sanditon, but it was the pain my memories may bring me that made me dread going back. At least this time Alison would be there to comfort me, if father approved.

"I'll take care of her father," Alison added sitting down on the other side of him. "If I suspect Charlotte isn't happy in Sanditon I'll bring her right back home."

He sighed heavily looking between the both of us. "If this is what you both want." Alison squealed with excitement and hugged father tightly. I tried to smile to show my own happiness, but I couldn't be as excited as Alison. I truly hoped Alison would have a better outcome on this adventure than I did.

"What about the Willingden Ball coming up?" mother reminded. I must admit, the thought of a Willingden Ball held little value to me after attending the grand balls in Sanditon and London. Willingden Balls were small, rather common, and oftentimes mundane.

The words Mrs. Campion spoke at the Regatta crept up in my thoughts. There must be a boy in your village who has caught your eye. Indeed, there was no one. The thought of even considering someone from my village had me amused. Most of the boys around here I grew up with and I saw as a brother figure. It made me realize yet again just how much Mrs. Campion saw me as a child; expressing how there must be a "boy" rather than a "man" in my village. She found every way possible to belittle me. I wondered if Sidney was feeling that same dismissal from her as I was. The last words I spoke to Sidney were for him to make her happy. But what about Sidney's happiness? Would she ever make him happy? Was Diana right? Was Sidney in a marital prison?

"Perhaps we could leave after the Ball," Alison suggested breaking me from my thoughts. "Charlotte what do you think?"

"That sounds fine to me."

Alison looked back at father and mother waiting hopelessly for their approval.

"I suppose your brother George could accompany you there," father added looking across the room to George.

"Yes father," he agreed with a sound of contempt in his voice. I imagined he didn't want to take us to Sanditon because it would take him away from Jane. He didn't speak much of his love life, but we all knew there was a special attachment to Miss Jane Sawyer who lived in our village. I imagined there would be an announcement of an engagement after the ball. Perhaps that's why mother didn't want us to leave until after the ball.

~0~

I let Alison wear my blue dress for the ball. I couldn't bear to put it on again after knowing what almost happened while on the balcony with Sidney. I helped her fix her hair and even let her wear my blue shoes. She was giddy with excitement at the upcoming event. She was sure she had the most beautiful dress in all of Wilingden and all eyes would be on her. I couldn't have been happier for her, but thought about how she would handle Sanditon Balls that were much grander.

I wore my white dress that I wore for the first ball I attended in Sanditon. The dress I wore the first time I danced with Sidney. Everything came back to him. I was not looking forward to attending the ball since all balls for me seemed to end in heartache anymore. I used to love balls and have so much excitement getting ready for them, much like Alison now. I reminded myself to be cordial and to dance with anyone who asked, but it wouldn't hold the same joy as they once did.

Father, Mother, George, Alison and I walked into the small ballroom of Willingden and looked around. Mother and Alison were aflutter with excitement. Father detested balls and would rather not go if it wasn't for mother who dragged him along for the sake of community. As an influential man in Willingden he was expected to be at any social event. Unfortunately for me, the air in the small ballroom made it hard to breathe. I was beginning to detest balls just like my father did.

As Alison predicted, all eyes were on her and many of the boys we had grown up with were already getting their courage up to ask her to dance. Alison was smiling and giggling with delight as she was twirled around the dance floor from one man to the next.

Father asked me to dance first, which I so appreciated. At least I wasn't "plucked", as Mr. Hankins would say, by one of the many men looking for wives at the ball.

During our dance father questioned me more about the upcoming trip to Sanditon. I think father knew me best and could sense my hesitation.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked. "I fear both my girls may come back with broken hearts."

"I don't..." I started, but father cut me off before I could try to lie about my feelings.

"You can't fool me, my dear," he continued. "I know a broken heart when I see one. Who it is who broke your heart, I do not know. I sense it was a very powerful man whom you were quite fond of. Perhaps even in love with. I fear you may be going back to Sanditon in hopes of rekindling this relationship only to have your heart broken again."

My eyes welled up and I had to look down so as not to show father how upset I truly was. "It doesn't matter, papa," I assured. "I'm not going to Sanditon to see any man. I'm going to Sanditon to be a companion to Lady Denham. She's an old woman without a husband or any relations to spend time with. She just wants my company. I believe she's also interested in my abilities and may use them to help the town of Sanditon. Perhaps I'll be an architect like Young Stringer someday."

"Young Stringer?" father questioned. I could tell at the curious look on his face he wanted to know more about who Mr. Stringer was.

"Perhaps I haven't spoken much of the people I became acquainted with in Sanditon. Mr. Stringer is the foreman of the building projects Mr. Parker has going on in Sanditon. He's a very talented man. I suppose you could say we became friends. But nothing more, father. He's a good listener and always kind to me. He's on his way to London to take an apprenticeship for architecture," I explained. My father continued to look at me quizzically. I got the sense he didn't believe me.

I could hear a commotion happening in the ballroom. The dancers all stopped to see what was happening. I couldn't see anything from where I stood on the crowded dance floor but heard more and more people gasping as if they had seen a ghost. It reminded me of when Georgiana first walked into the ballroom in Sanditon. People started to clear from the floor as they continued to gasp and look around. As the floor in front of me cleared, I could see what all the commotion was about. Georgiana stood in the middle of the floor looking quite disheveled and fearful. Our eyes met and she ran towards me. I met her in the middle and embraced her with so much joy.

"What are you doing here?" I asked excitedly.

"Charlotte, it's dreadful. That woman is the worst possible person in the world. I can't take one more minute in her presence," she spat out. People around us stared and whispered about what was happening. I felt quite uncomfortable and very worried about my dear friend Georgiana.

"Come. Let's go sit down and talk." I steered Georgiana through the crowd until I found a spot for us to sit down with a little privacy. I could tell Georgiana had been crying and looked dreadfully tired. "Tell me what's going on. Is it Mrs. Griffiths again? Has she done something?"

"Worse," Georgiana shouted. "It's that awful woman, Mrs. Campion who Sidney plans to marry." My heart clenched. What had she done to Georgiana? "I hate them both. Both of them find comfort in ruining other's lives."

"What did she do that was so terrible?" I asked.

"I've been in London at Sidney's request for his upcoming wedding. I despise Sidney for what he did to you, but more so her for what she did to both of you. If I even mention your name she threatens to send me away to the America's where slavery is still a huge part of their culture. She wishes to see me rot away as a slave. And Sidney just sits there and lets her say these things without one word. It's as if he has given up who he is all together. He's nothing when he's with her. I can't bear being near either one of them again." Georgiana began to cry but my heart raced with anger. How dare she say such horrible things to Georgiana, and how dare Sidney allow such things.

"Charlotte," my father said cutting me from my thoughts. "Perhaps we should get your friend home." I realized everyone was still eyeing us from afar and I was sure spreading gossip.

"Yes. Let's get out of here." I helped Georgiana to her feet and walked her out to our waiting carriage. Once inside, Georgiana leaned against me and closed her eyes. Her small face was still smeared with tears.

Father didn't say anything as we rode in the carriage home. I appreciated the silence as I wasn't quite sure how to explain Georgiana's presence just yet.

Once in our home, I walked Georgiana back to the room I shared with my sisters and helped her get under the covers on the bed. She was fast asleep almost instantly.

"Who is this girl?" my father asked as I left the room to allow Georgiana some peace. He didn't seem happy to have a guest in our home he didn't know.

"Her name is Miss Georgiana Lambe. She's Sidney Parker's ward and a good friend of mine."

"Sidney Parker?" he questioned.

"Yes, Tom Parker's brother. They have another younger brother, Arthur Parker and a sister named Diana Parker. Mr. Sidney Parker was in the West Indies for a time and Georgiana lost her parents. She's an heiress to a fortune and Mr. Sidney Parker was made her guardian to keep her safe until she comes of age," I explained.

"Why is she here?" he asked.

"I'm not sure. I believe she is upset and needs a friend. Considering who she is, or rather what she looks like, she doesn't have many friends."

He hummed and nodded his head in understanding. "Well, she does seem like a troubled girl. I can only imagine what she's had to go through to get here."

I smiled knowing my father understood and accepted her. "Perhaps you should try to get some sleep also. I'm going to take the carriage back to the ball and gather your mother and sister," he said standing up and walking out of the house.

I tried to sleep, but my thoughts were wild with feelings of anger and frustration. How could Sidney allow Mrs. Campion to treat Miss Lambe so terribly? My love for Sidney was now turning into detest for him.


	3. London

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in Sidney's POV at first then switches to Georgiana's POV.

~~Sidney~~ 

I downed another drink and watched with resentment from afar how my betrothed worked the room with such ease. This was my life now; balls, social gatherings, luncheon and dinner parties. I could easily pretend to be part of this world, but I never truly belonged. I was an outlier like Charlotte said. I was always going to be an outlier. Mrs. Campion had become a stranger and held my future in her hands. I had no choice but to engage myself to her after the threats of ruining not only my reputation, but that of Charlotte and Georgiana's as well. I wouldn't let that happen. My reputation was one thing, but she was not going to touch Charlotte. I wouldn't allow it.

I thought back to when I was forced to engage myself to her. I called on every connection I had to find the money to help my brother. I promised one thing after another in hopes someone would be willing to invest. Not one person was able to make that large of an investment though.

On the ride to London from Sanditon, I knew it may come to me asking Eliza for help. The way things were ended after the regatta, I truly didn't want to go to her. We did have a past and maybe she did feel bad for the way she betrayed me all those years ago. Perhaps she'd be willing to give me a loan for a time being. I went to her home filled with hope. Unfortunately, she didn't have any interest in helping out of kindness. She had an agenda. Turns out her reputation was at risk; how so, I do not know. People were beginning to talk. She needed to connect herself to someone fast to stop the rumors being spread. She threatened to not only ruin Sanditon, but also ruin the reputation of Georgiana and Charlotte from when Georgiana was kidnapped. Poor Charlotte was just trying to help. Being seen alone with me in a carriage rushing off towards Scotland after leaving the brothel would definitely ruin her good name. If I didn't agree to marry Eliza this is what hung over my head. I had no choice.

I took another drink from a tray and downed it in one gulp.

"Easy, man," Babington said patting me on the back. "How many have you had now?"

I grunted and placed the glass back on the tray and grabbed another. "I must admit, Sidney," Babington began. "I was quite surprised when I got your wedding announcement. I expected to see Charlotte's name, not Eliza's. I admit I've been a little out of touch as of late with my own marriage. May I ask what happened? Did Charlotte turn you down?"

"It's not important," I assured downing another drink and spilling a little on my jacket.

"Sidney, I beg you not to go through with this," Babington said. "You'll be making the biggest mistake of your life. Look how many times it took me to win over Esther. Don't give up on Charlotte after one rejection."

"What choice do I have?" I spit. "My brother will be in ruin as will his wife and children if I don't marry her."

"There's got to be something," he said. "You look miserable and you haven't even married her yet. You are going to kill yourself at this rate."

"At least I'll be out of my misery," I said patting him on the back. "Excuse me."

"Sidney Parker," Crowe shouted from across the room. I rolled my eyes and tried to walk in the other direction. "Sidney! I have someone I'd like you to meet."

I clenched my jaw and walked towards him with a fake smile on my face.

"This is Lord Grasmere. He visited Sanditon during the regatta and wanted to meet you," Crowe introduced.

I sighed heavily and faked another smile. "Pleasure to meet you, Lord Grasmere," I said politely.

"Sidney Parker. Are you in any relation to Diana and Arthur Parker?" he asked.

"Indeed, they are my younger siblings," I said.

"I have met them at the doctor's office quite a few times. Your brother Arthur is quite a character. And your sister Diana seems so caring and nurturing. I do admire her abilities."

"That's wonderful," I said distractedly. "Excuse me." In the corner of my eye I saw Edward Denham walk into the room. I wondered what he was up to as I knew Esther was in the room with Babington.

I stopped Edward and pulled him aside. "What are you doing here, Edward?" I asked.

He laughed. "Don't worry, Sidney. I'm not planning any declaration to get me kicked out. I'll stay far away from Esther and Babington. I'm just here to make some new connections."

"Sidney," Eliza's shrill voice said from behind me. I sighed in detest before turning around to face her. "You have been gone for quite some time. Who have you been talking to?"

I clenched my teeth and turned towards her. "Am I not allowed to speak to friends?"

She laughed dryly. "Don't be silly, Sidney. I'm just curious who you've been spending your time with away from me."

"You must be Mrs. Eliza Campion." Edward said from behind me. Leave it to Edward to be forward instead of having a proper introduction. I stepped to her side so as if to formally introduce the two. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Have you?" she said intrigued.

"Mrs. Campion, this is Sir Edward Denham," I said.

"All good things, I assure you," he said taking her hand in his and gently kissing her gloved knuckles. I rolled my eyes at the forwardness of Edward.

Mrs. Campion giggled and looked at him amusingly. "You are relations of Lady Denham? I met her briefly at the Babington wedding."

"Excuse me," I said with a long sigh on contempt. I grabbed a couple more drinks from a passing tray and headed towards Babington. I quickly informed him of what had transpired with Edward. Babbers jumped into action steering his wife out of the room.

I saw my brother Tom talking up Sanditon with a group of men and couldn't help but feel irritation for him. His bad investments, his dreams, his poor choices had put me in the impossible situation I was in. I know he helped me out years before, but this was much bigger and much more dire.

I downed the last drink in my hand and suddenly felt the need for some air. I quickly pushed past people in the room and rushed toward an open doorway. I took in a few long breaths of the cool air, steadying myself.

"I do believe I met a young woman in this same spot not long ago," a voice said from behind me.

I rolled my eyes, straightened my jaw and turned around to see Lady Susan Worcester sitting on a chair with a book in her hands. I smiled politely and bowed in greeting.

"A girl you are well acquainted with, I believe," she continued smiling sweetly. "You seem to have the same befuddled look on your face as she did."

"I apologize if I've interrupted you," I said.

"Not at all. I'm actually intrigued to hear why I received a wedding announcement from you and Mrs. Campion. I was not expecting that in the least."

I tightened my jaw and rose my chin. "I don't have much choice. My brother Tom is in dire need of funds after the fire in Sanditon. If I marry her, I take control of her fortune and can save my brother."

She smiled and looked at me with a sideways glance as if she had a secret. "You haven't heard, have you?" she asked.

"Heard what?" I tried hard not to roll my eyes in contempt.

"Mrs. Campion does not have the fortune you seem to believe she does. She definitely doesn't have the reputation she so desires after what her late husband was involved in."

"What was he involved in?" I asked taking a step closer to her. I began to have a sickening taste in my mouth.

"Seems to me Mrs. Campion has attached herself to you to save herself the humility of what she's taken part in with the late Mr. Campion. I suppose it would make sense since you are the guardian of a negress."

"You aren't giving me the answers I desperately need," I seethed. "What is this you speak of."

She stood and smiled as if she had a secret. She took a step closer closing the gap between us and glanced around her to see if anyone was nearby. "Mr. Campion was involved in the slave trade in the Americas."

My chest filled with fear. This couldn't be true. I couldn't be connected to this. "You're certain?" I asked with repulsive thoughts running through my head.

"I know everything, Sidney," she said with that same secret keeping smile. She walked away leaving me with a nauseating feeling of regret.

What have I done?

~~Miss Lambe~~

I dreamed of being back in London; being part of society and shopping in the finest shops. Most of all I wanted to be closer to my Otis. Now being here, I longed to be back in Sanditon. To be away from Sidney and the horrible woman, Mrs. Campion.

"There you are, Georgiana," Mrs. Campion said. I was sitting all alone away from the silly party I was dragged to by Sidney and Mrs. Campion. Another dreary London party for everyone to gawk and whisper about the heiress negress. I had no interest in being paraded around.

"Miss Lambe, if you don't mind," I sneered and rolled my eyes before glaring up at her.

"Don't be silly, child," she giggled.

"I only allow my true friends and family to call me Georgiana. You are neither."

She tried to smile and pretend like it didn't bother her. I loved watching her squirm.

"Well, in due time I will be family. Once Sidney and I are married…"

"Sidney may be marrying you for your money, but he does not control me. You will not be family," I said interrupting her.

"I assure you; Sidney is not marrying me for my money, silly girl."

I smiled and narrowed my eyes. "If Sidney could do as he pleased, he'd already be married to Charlotte. He loves Charlotte more than anyone and she loves him. You took that happiness away from both of them. All Sidney is trying to do is save Sanditon." Admittedly, I wasn't entirely sure about Sidney's feelings for Charlotte. He never did tell me anything. However, he was a different man now than he was right before Charlotte left. I had to believe Charlotte was the reason why. Despite whether it was entirely true or not, I loved watching Mrs. Campion squirm at the mention of Charlotte.

She stared at me with fire in her eyes for a moment. She almost scared me, but I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction.

"Careful, Georgiana," she said. "I'd hate to see you end up shipped off to the Americas once Sidney and I are married. I have lots of connections you know, and I'm sure they'd be happy to have such a strong negress among them."

My teeth clenched and all I could think about was punching Mrs. Campion in the face, much like I'd seen Sidney do a time or two in his boxing matches. I thought better of it and knew I could hurt her much worse. "You'll never be half the woman Charlotte is." My comment made her angrier than I'd ever seen her before. We hadn't gotten along since Sidney announced he was marrying her. Sidney did nothing to prevent her awful behavior towards me. Instead he reprimanded me and made everything my fault like he normally did.

She brushed the back of her glove as if she was dusting off invisible dirt, then straightened herself. "You don't scare me, child. I have Sidney and he will do as I ask him to in spite of what you may say."

"But a country girl who reads books scares you," I added smiling at her and getting close to her face. "Sidney will always want Charlotte more than you. When he's lying in bed next to you, he will be dreaming of Charlotte."

I watched as she took a deep breath in and her eyes nearly popped out of her head.

"Ah, I was just looking for you, Miss Lambe." I turned to see Lady Susan walking towards us. Suddenly that anger in Mrs. Campion's face softened at the sight of Lady Susan.

"What a pleasure to see you, Lady Worcester," Mrs. Campion said cheerfully. "Perhaps we could catch up. We haven't spoken since the regatta in Sanditon."

Lady Susan nodded her half-hearted acknowledgement toward Mrs. Campion and took my arm in hers steering me away from her. "I was hoping you could tell me news of our dear friend Charlotte. I miss her so. I've been thinking of asking her to come visit me." I was sure Mrs. Campion could hear Lady Susan which made me even more pleased. I'm quite sure it was intentional on Lady Susan's part.

"Thank you for rescuing me," I said as soon as we were far enough away.

"Yes, well. Looked as if things were getting a little tense between the two of you."

"I hate her," I said knowing I shouldn't be saying it.

"I'm not too fond of her myself," she admitted. In her subtle way giving me permission to have an opinion.

We walked a distance away until she stopped and turned me towards her. "Now, do tell. What is the story with Mrs. Campion and Mr. Parker? Surely, he isn't marrying her for love as I know he truly has feelings for Charlotte. That was clear at the regatta."

"It's all Tom Parker's fault," I explained. "There was a fire in Sanditon. Nearly burned the entire town down."

"Gracious!"

"It was awful. So many people were affected. Poor Old Stringer lost his life," I continued.

"How dreadful."

"Tom Parker didn't have insurance on the building projects. Now he's facing the debtor's prison as he lost Lady Denham's investment and she has decided not to invest anymore."

"Lady Denham is alive then?"

"She is, unfortunately," I said. "And she's not happy with what Tom has done. No one else is willing to save Sanditon. Sidney had no choice but to marry someone with a fortune to save his family and Sanditon."

"That's where Mrs. C comes in, I presume?"

"Precisely!" I agreed. "He wouldn't be marrying her if he had a choice. That woman hurt him once before and now she's going to drive him to an early grave. Although, I imagine that's what she wants. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what happened to her late husband."

"Well," she began. "Between you and me, I have a feeling a wedding will not be happening."

"How can that be?" I asked. "Sidney won't break off the engagement and Mrs. Campion is too stubborn to do it herself. Plus, what would happen to Sanditon then?"

"I have my ways, dear," Lady Susan assured. "Charlotte will get her happy ending if I have anything to say about it. I will need your help, though."

"Anything," I agreed feeling excited about being in cahoots will Lady Susan of all people. Especially if it meant Charlotte would be happy.

"My carriage is outside. I want you to take it to Willingden. Find Charlotte and bring her home to Sanditon. Use any means possible to convince her. I'll take care of the rest. I've already planted a seed in Sidney Parker's mind."

I smiled deviously as did Lady Susan. "Good luck, Miss Lambe. I hope we both have great success in our endeavors."


	4. Misery

~~Sidney~~

After speaking with Lady Susan, I left the ball. I couldn't stand to be in that room another minute. I walked down the street until I reached a pub. I sat down and ordered a bottle, then another, and another. I drank alone, wallowing in my own self-pity. I was disgusted with myself. I never stopped to think about where the Campion fortune came from. I was so desperate to save my brother. My only thought was on finding the money. Now I was trapped. There was no way out of this. Charlotte would be so disappointed in me. Charlotte. I closed my eyes and imagined she was already disappointed in me despite where the Campion fortune came from. How would I ever face her again? Thoughts of what was said in the streets of Sanditon and again in the carriage while in London replayed in my head. She was exactly right about everything.

"Sidney, you are a mess," Crowe teased. He sat down at the table next to me and poured himself a drink. "Time to sleep it off."

I rose my head that had somehow fallen to the table and did my best to keep it upright. "I can't sleep. When I sleep, I dream of…" I sighed and dropped my head again. "Then I wake up and realize what I've done."

"I never thought both Babington and Parker would somehow be so fooled by love that their whole world turned upside down."

"That's because you've never been in love," Babington said from behind Crowe taking a seat at the table with us.

"I for one, would never let a woman change me," Crowe said. "I enjoy being the drunk that I am."

"Just wait. It'll happen to you one of these days and you won't know what hit you," Babington said.

"Doubt it."

Their chatter was beginning to get on my nerves. I longed to be left to my own misery.

"What about that Clara Brereton? Weren't you fond of her?" Babington asked.

"Good God, man! Are you mad?" Crowe said. "She is a tainted woman. I'd never be caught dead with the likes of her."

"You were seen with her on your way to London," Babington reminded.

"I simply gave her a ride. That is all. I have not seen nor spoken to her since."

"That is all, is it?" Babington questioned with a chuckle.

"Can you both please pipe down," I shouted. My head was pounding more than usual.

"Seriously, Sidney. Go home," Babington said.

I growled and tried to raise my head again. "I don't know if I have a home anymore. Tom and I got in a nasty fight earlier today. Or was it yesterday? I don't even remember."

"You could always go back to Sanditon for a while. I know you are fond of sea bathing," Babington suggested. "Maybe see a particular resident you are fond of."

"She isn't there. She's gone home to her family," I reminded. He didn't even have to say her name for me to know exactly who he was talking about.

"Oh, yes you're right." 

I sat up even more and leaned back in the chair, doing my best to hold my head steady. "You seem to forget I'm engaged. I can't possibly be seen spending time with another young lady. Even if she was still in Sanditon."

"You can break the engagement," he suggested.

"What madness do you speak of, Babington?" Crowe questioned.

"It's a new era. Simpler times. Feelings change. Situations change. If a woman can change her mind, why can't a gentleman?"

Crowe laughed at the hypocrisy of what Babington spoke. I, myself thought he was talking insanity. "You have gone mad."

"Even if it was possible, it doesn't change the fact I need the money to save my brother."

"Why is it your duty to save your brother? He got himself in his own quandary. Let him figure it out," Babington said.

"I can't do that. He helped me out many years ago. I owe him."

"You also paid him back and done more for him than any brother should. Your debt is paid. Sanditon isn't your doing."

"He makes a good point, Parker," Crowe added.

As much as I wanted to believe them and do precisely what they suggested, I simply couldn't. I'd never be able to live with myself if I walked away from my brother. Yet, could I live with myself taking a fortune tainted by slavery? Either way I was lost.

"I admire Miss Heywood for being so selfless when she heard of you and Mrs. Campion," Crowe said speaking out of character for a change.

I took yet another drink straight from the bottle. "Could you not speak her name anymore? I'm in enough misery as it is. I don't need to be reminded what I did to her," I fumed. I reached for the bottle again, but Babington stopped me and pulled the bottle out of my reach.

"Come," Babington announced standing to his feet. "We will take you home."

Both of them took an arm and guided me out the door while I protested to stay and finish off the bottle. Eventually I realized I had no strength to fight them off and staggered to the waiting carriage, clumsily crawling in. I imagine I fell asleep momentarily since the next thing I remembered was the two of them dragging me out of the carriage and up the steps to my London home. I vaguely remember seeing sunlight coming over the rooftops.

"Gracious me! What's happened?" Diana said rushing out the door.

"He's fine, Miss Parker. Just a little drunk," Crowe assured. "He needs to sleep it off for a few hours."

I was plopped into a chair, my head falling to the side and my eyes unwilling to stay open any longer. Sleep was overtaking my thoughts. I welcomed sleep at this point, as it was the only time I got to see Charlotte. "My sweet Charlotte." Even if I knew when I woke, I'd hate myself even more than I already did.

~0~

I woke to the feel of Diana fussing over me. "Please, leave me be."

"Sidney, it is a matter of urgency," she said.

I struggled to sit up and open my eyes. "What is it?" Looking around the room I could tell it must be midday. How long had I been asleep?

"It's Miss Lambe," she said.

"What about Miss Lambe? Is she unhappy about something again?"

"No. She never returned last night," Diana said nervously.

"No one has seen her, Sidney," Arthur added. "I've been all over the city looking for her. I don't know where else to look."

I sat up even more and brushed my face with my hands trying to come to. "Have you talked to the driver? Did he take her somewhere?"

"No one knows anything, Sidney. Don't you understand?" Arthur yelled. Arthur was always the calm, light-hearted brother. This was out of character for him. I admit, lately I've neglected all my sibling's feelings, maybe everyone's feelings. I was too hurt to think of anyone else's problems.

"Alright," I said standing to my feet and stumbling a little. "I'll go find her."

"I'll go too," Arthur suggested. "Miss Lambe is a good friend. I'd like to help."

"Arthur, in your state of health you mustn't," Diana fussed.

"I am fine, Diana," he assured in his light-hearted tone I was used to. "I can't rest until I know she's safe."

"I'll help too," Tom offered from the doorway. The last time Tom and I spoke was in a quarrel. I was surprised he offered to help as he didn't do much of anything unless it in some way promoted Sanditon. I suppose this was his peace offering.

"Alright, I'll see if I can track down Mr. Molyneux," I announced. "I imagine she went to see him. Arthur you check the hotels in town. Perhaps she was so upset with me that she chose to stay somewhere else. Tom, if you don't mind, could you send a letter to Sanditon and ask Mary to find out if she showed up there and maybe watch for the coach?" They both nodded and grabbed their jackets.

"What should I do?" Diana asked nervously.

"Stay here and pray she comes back," I said taking my sister's hands in mine with a comforting squeeze. I grabbed my jacket and led the way out of the house.

We all searched throughout the day. I even had Babington and Crowe on the hunt. We all came up empty-handed, though. No one had seen or heard from her since the ball. We had no other ideas on where to look and I was beyond worried.

"Do you suppose…" Arthur began then stopped as we all sat around the drawing room trying to figure out where to look next.

"Spit it out, Arthur," I yelled. "What are you thinking?"

"She talks fondly of Miss Heywood. Would she try to seek her out?"

"In Willingden?" Crowe questioned. "How would she make such a trip?"

I thought on it momentarily before deciding I'd have to go. Whether it was a rational thought or not, I was being pulled to wherever Charlotte was. If nothing else, Charlotte may be able to direct me on the right path like she did the last time Georgiana was missing.

"You'll need to go, Sidney," Tom said. "We will continue to search London."

I didn't take the time to think on it or even try to talk myself out of it. I grabbed my jacket and hat and headed out. Opening the door, I was met with Mrs. Campion and two other acquaintances I was not familiar with. The wretched taste of resentment filled my senses.

"Sidney, perfect timing," Mrs. Campion said. I sighed and stopped in front of her. I couldn't be bothered by her at the moment.

"What is it?" I asked hurriedly.

"We have a dinner party to attend. Don't you remember? Why are you not ready?" she asked looking at the state of the same clothing that I wore the night before.

"I'm not able to accompany you tonight," I said. "Miss Lambe is missing. I must leave for a few days."

"Where, may I ask, are you going?" she asked with a tone of annoyance.

I knew I couldn't tell her where I was going. "It's not important. I must leave." I tried to step around her and walk away, but she grabbed my arm and pulled me back. I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes. I looked away from her dismissively and clenched my teeth.

"Send someone else to look for her," she demanded. "She's just a silly girl playing tricks to get your attention. I wouldn't be surprised if she ran off just to ruin our wedding day. Have you forgotten about our wedding? It's nearly here."

"How could I forget," I said passively.

"She will come back. If you chase after her, you are just giving into her childish games," she said wrapping her arm around mine and steering me back towards the house. "Now, go put on some appropriate attire for our dinner party. We are the guests of honor, after all."

I pulled my arm away from her and looked at her with so much distaste. "I am sorry, but I must go."

"Sidney," she whispered, getting closer to me so others around couldn't hear. "Don't cause a scene. You will be going with me to this dinner party. You don't have a choice. We are to be married and you will attend all engagements I wish to attend. I'm not to be overlooked by a negress you are obligated to look after."

I was getting more upset by the minute. She dismissed Miss Lambe like she didn't even matter. Knowing what I did about the Campion family being involved with slave trade made me realize she only saw Georgiana as another negro who didn't matter. Yet, she did matter to me and my family and friends who continued to look for her. She mattered to Charlotte.

"Mrs. Campion, I may be forced to marry you, but I refuse to be enslaved," I said sternly. "Miss Lambe is in trouble. I must go. Excuse me!"

I walked away as quickly as possible and didn't look back even when she yelled my name. I rushed to the livery and mounted a horse, taking off in the night, headed for Willingden. Headed for Charlotte.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you didn't notice it, when Sidney is brought back to his home by Babs and Crowe he does say "My sweet Charlotte" out loud in front of Diana and anyone else who may have been in the room. This is how I picture Sidney now that he's in misery. In the series it talks about how when Eliza broke their engagement he became a drunk and gambled before he left for the West Indies. This time, he's doing the same exact thing because yet again he lost his love just in a different way. This time is worse, because he's dealing with the guilt of what he did to Charlotte, and also the weight of his family trouble.


	5. Leaving Willingden

~~Charlotte~~

Georgiana had become quite infatuated with my younger siblings. They had her running through the fields and playing games with them leading up to the day we were to leave. Georgiana had never smiled and laughed so much playing with them. I was happy to see her spirits returned.

Alison and I were in the house with mother and father finishing up our packing while Georgiana had one last frolic through the grass with my younger siblings.

"Are you sure?" my father asked again.

I smiled. "Yes, father. It's where I belong." He nodded his head in understanding and continued to help me pack up the last few things. Mother was in the kitchen preparing lunch for us to take along on the trip.

I walked around my childhood home and looked at everything. I had a feeling this would be the last time I'd be here. Despite whether I was married off or Lady Denham kept me locked away in her dungeon for life, this home, this village, did nothing for me anymore. I didn't belong here any longer. My place was in Sanditon.

There was a jolting knock at the door startling all of us and breaking me from my thoughts.

"Who could that be?" my mother questioned. My father walked to the door while Alison and I watched from afar to see who was at the door.

"Forgive my intrusion, sir," the familiar voice at the door began. I took a couple steps towards to the door, wanting so badly to run, but stopped myself just within eye shot of Sidney. "I'm looking for…"

Our eyes met and Sidney Parker bolted past my father and rushed towards me. He stopped just a step away from me and took my hands in his. I was stricken with shock to see him standing before me that I couldn't even focus on the improper way he touched me and spoke to me in front of my parents. "Charlotte, please tell me she's here."

I couldn't speak to him at first. I almost thought he was a dream that I hadn't woken up from. "Mr. Parker," I said in no more than a whisper.

"Miss Heywood," he said letting go of my hands and addressing me more formally. I watched as he fisted his own hands turning his knuckles white. His senses must have come back to him. He dropped his head, maybe in embarrassment. "Forgive me. I'm looking Georgiana. Please tell me she has contacted you. I've learned Otis Molyneux joined the Navy. I don't believe she would follow after him. I'm not sure she's even still in contact with him. I fear the worst. She has not been in a good place as of late, nor have I. I regret I've neglected her needs, but to run away again for no apparent reason…"

"Mr. Parker," I said stopping his babbling. "Georgiana is not happy and fearful for her own safety around Mrs. Campion. Of course, she ran away. You have done nothing to protect her. Instead you have turned into a drunkard gambler, which is exactly what you were trying to protect her from with Otis. Now you say she has no reason to run away from you?"

I watched as his jawline tightened and his eyes narrowed. "Making assumptions again, Miss Heywood?"

I glared at him with steady fierceness. "It's not assumptions when multiple people speak the same truth." I glared at him a moment more, but felt guilty doing so as he looked entirely hurt by my statement. I didn't care that my family was witnessing our exchange. Staring up at him caused so much conflict in my heart. A part of me still loved him and wanted desperately to touch my lips to his, but another part of me felt the pain of rejection and betrayal. The biggest part of me detested him for what he had done or allowed to happen to Georgiana.

"What are you doing here?" Georgiana spat out from the doorway. Our trance broke and Sidney Parker turned towards Georgiana. I saw him let out a sigh of relief to see her standing in my home.

"Georgiana, thank goodness," he said. "I didn't know where else to look."

"You shouldn't have come looking at all," Georgiana said walking towards him with anger in her voice. "I don't want to be around you or your horrible fiancé ever again."

"Georgiana," he started condescendingly.

"No, Sidney! I want you to leave. Let me be." Georgiana walked across the floor and took my arm. "I'm going back to Sanditon with Charlotte. That is where I will stay until I'm able to collect my fortune. I have no use for you anymore."

Sidney glanced between Georgiana and I for a moment before bowing his head. "Forgive me. It looks as if you are in good hands. No harm done." With that he walked out the door and mounted his horse, riding away.

I took a steadying breath and wrapped Georgiana in my arms. "Are you all right?" I asked.

"Of course, I'm all right," she assured. "Are you?"

I didn't answer. I wasn't sure if I was or not.

"Charlotte, what was that all about?" my father asked. Georgiana and I broke our embrace so I could answer my father.

"That was Sidney Parker. Georgiana's guardian I was telling you about. He has not been kind to her as of late, nor has his fiancé. This is why Georgiana seeked me out; for protection."

"This Sidney Parker is a dangerous man?" my father questioned.

"No more so than the next," Georgiana said. "He finds pleasure in making others around him as miserable as he is. Look at what he's done to poor Charlotte."

"Georgiana!" I warned.

"What has he done to you, Charlotte?" my father asked looking angrier by the minute.

"Nothing, father," I assured. "We don't get along. That is all." 

I could feel all eyes on me as if everyone in the room could tell I was lying. I had to get out of the suffocating room. "Should we get going?" I said trying to change the subject. I collected my hat and coat and walked outside taking a deep cleansing breath of the cool air. I looked out towards the direction Sidney rode away and could see him in the distance looking back towards me. So much of me wanted to run after him and apologize for my behavior. But I knew I could never do such a thing. Sidney was gone for good. I brushed a single tear that I had been holding in since the moment my eyes met his.

I heard Alison and Georgiana come up behind me and silently steady me. I felt a relief to have both of them with me.

After goodbyes and hugs to all my siblings and mother and father, the three of us boarded the carriage while my brother drove the team of horses forward towards Sanditon.

"I'm sorry, Charlotte," Georgiana said as soon as we were off in the carriage.

"I'm fine, Georgiana. I truly am," I assured.

"You don't have to lie to me, you know," she said. "I, more than anyone, know what it's like to have a broken heart; to be separated from the one you love." She took my hands in hers and gave me an encouraging smile. "Why you love him, I'm still trying to understand. But who am I to judge who one falls in love with."

It's an affliction as Lady Susan said. I had no control over how I felt about Sidney. No more than Georgiana felt for Otis.

"We will get through our heartache together," Georgiana said patting my hands.

"Yes," I said with a smile. Somehow, I didn't think it possible, but I had to be encouraging for Georgiana.

"Let's hope Alison doesn't end up with a broken heart also," I said attempting to change the subject.

Georgiana smiled at Alison and they took each other's hands. "I'm so glad we have had these last few days to get to know each other, Alison. It'll be nice to have someone else to spend my time with other than the Beaufort sisters." Alison giggled at the face Georgiana made when she spoke of the Beaufort sisters.

"I hope we can become as good of friends as you and Charlotte have become," Alison said.

"Are you looking forward to seeing Sanditon?" Georgiana asked.

"I am," Alison answered. "Charlotte has told me so much about it through her letters. I'm excited to experience everything she has."

Georgiana rolled her eyes. "You won't experience much with that Denham Lady controlling your every move. Just don't cross her. She's already banned her relations, Sir Edward Denham and Clara Brereton. What a scene that was."

"What happened?" Alison inquired. Georgiana gossiped about how they double crossed Lady Denham and how Lady Denham almost died but then somehow pulled through and disowned both of them. How Sir Edward barged into the Midsummer Ball and tried to claim he was in love with his stepsister, Esther Denham. She also shared how Clara left Sanditon in Mr. Crowe's carriage headed towards London. It was quite the scandal apparently.

I only half paid attention to their gossip as my thoughts betrayed me with visions of Sidney in my family home. Why couldn't I stop loving him no matter how much I tried?


	6. Back in Sanditon

~~Charlotte~~

"We are coming upon Sanditon House," I said waking Georgiana and Alison from their nap. I couldn't sleep so I busied myself with a book. I found that lately, reading was the only distraction from my own unbearable thoughts.

We braced ourselves as we pulled into the yard of Sanditon House. A butler came out and collected our bags bringing them inside while we said our goodbyes.

"You will come visit me, won't you?" Georgiana asked sounding sad.

"Of course!" I said wrapping her in a hug. "I will insist on maintaining our friendship."

"I'm not sure Lady Denham will approve." I hated to see Georgiana sad.

"We will find a way," I assured. Georgiana gave Alison a hug and insisted she come and visit as well before climbing back in the carriage.

We turned towards George to wish him safe travels back to Willingden.

You both will need to return to Willingden eventually," he said with a grin.

"Does that mean?" Alison asked not actually finishing her question before George excitedly answered.

He nodded his head and his smile grew. "I asked Jane to marry me and she's accepted."

"Oh George! I'm so happy for you," I said.

Alison hugged him tightly congratulating him also. "We will definitely return for your wedding."

"I will send word when we have set a date," he promised. "I'm sure it won't be long before we get word announcing an engagement for both of you also."

"Perhaps," I said dismissively.

George boarded the coach and continued on his way to bring Georgiana back to Mrs. Griffiths.

Alison and I were led inside and told to wait for Lady Denham. Alison glanced around the house with a look of awe on her face. "It's rather large, isn't it?" I said.

"I've never seen anything like it," she replied.

"Ah, there you are, Miss Heywood," Lady Denham greeted walking into the room rather slowly. She looked different from the last time I saw her. She seemed older, maybe even weaker. I feared her illness that almost took her life left her in a terrible state. "I was beginning to have my doubts you would ever arrive."

"I do apologize for our tardiness," I began. "We got here as quickly as we could."

"I'm sure you did," she said with a condescending tone.

"Lady Denham, I'd like to introduce my sister, Alison." My sister curtsied but didn't speak. I could tell she was nervous.

"Cat got your tongue, dear?" she asked.

"Not at all, Lady Denham. I think I'm quite overwhelmed with the splendid appearance of your home," she answered still looking around in awe.

"I'm afraid it's quite outdated. I've begun doing some renovations already. My drawing room floor had to be redone immediately. Would you like to see it?"

"Very much," Alison said. We followed Lady Denham into her drawing room to see her new floor. I remembered that last time I was in there it had a large snake curled around to the center. I couldn't imagine what it looked like now. Perhaps a more modern design donned the floor?

We walked in to see a donkey as the center focal point with a motif of different colored tiles surrounding it. I didn't care for it.

"What do you think?" Lady Denham asked.

I hesitated at first, trying to choose my words carefully. "It's quite creative," I said.

"I enjoy your choice of colors," Alison added.

"Yes, I do think it's my favorite creation," Lady Denham said. I gave Alison a knowing look and we both had to hold back from giggling. We stood there admiring her floor for quite some time before she called for her butler to show us to our rooms.

We followed up the stairs and were put in separate rooms across from each other. We would have been fine sharing, but at least Alison got to experience what it was like to have her own for once. After we finished unpacking and changing our clothes, we went downstairs and met with Lady Denham in her drawing room for tea. We were poured a cup of tea and passed a plate of biscuits by one of the servants.

"This room has been so dreary without any company in it," Lady Denham said. "I'm thinking of having another luncheon party."

"What a splendid idea," Alison said trying to be kind. She wasn't aware of what happened at the last luncheon. I did mention in my letters how it was a disaster but didn't go into detail.

"Miss Charlotte Heywood, you did bring me a sister who can play piano, didn't you?"

"I'm not the best at it, but I can read music fairly well," Alison answered. She was being modest as she played wonderfully to me. As soon as she heard we were coming to Sanditon and Lady Denham wanted someone to play the piano she practiced day and night.

"Hmm, I guess it'll have to do," Lady Denham said looking Alison up and down. I feared she was disappointed in Alison's abilities.

"Perhaps Alison could play you something now?" I suggested.

Alison glanced at me with wide eyes. I gave her an encouraging nod towards the piano. She rose from her seat and slowly walked over to the piano. We watched, silently waiting for her to begin.

"Play something jolly," Lady Denham requested. Alison flipped through the sheets of music and placed something in front of her before placing her fingers on the keys to begin. Once the music started, Lady Denham smiled and closed her eyes for a moment. I knew then she was pleased with Alison. I smiled as I watched my sister play. I had learned how to play the piano, but I wasn't nearly as good as Alison was.

"Miss Heywood," Lady Denham began while the music playing in the background. "There's business I need to discuss with you that doesn't involve your sister." I turned towards her with a curious look. "It was brought to my attention that while I was on my deathbed, you became acquainted with a Lady Susan Worcester. She brought the entire beau monde of London here to our Sanditon for the regatta all thanks to you. I mentioned this in my letter to you."

"I don't take any credit for it," I dismissed with a giggle.

"Nonsense. You are more capable than anyone to create great things here in Sanditon. Why do you think I invited you here?"

"I thought you wanted company?" I asked confused by the question.

"Pish Posh! I don't need company. The piano played from time to time, but that's all. Too much company can be stifling, and I definitely don't need a couple naïve girls getting too attached and thinking that somehow, I'm going to leave my fortune to them. I invited you here to oversee my investments. Tom has been utterly useless up to now and I refuse to work with him any longer. My desires for Sanditon have not changed. I just need a wiser, more capable business partner."

"Lady Denham," I began before she interrupted me again.

"Mr. Parker has betrayed my trust and caused Sanditon to go into ruins. I need you, Miss Heywood."

"I couldn't possibly."

"We will see," she said cutting me off again. "Mr. Robinson will be here in the morning to discuss building plans as Mr. Stinger has decided to leave us when we are in dire need of his services. Mr. Robinson seems a little lost and needs your guidance on what to do."

"Lady Denham, I can't possibly oversee the construction of Sanditon. I could never betray the Parker family."

"The way they betrayed you?" she asked with a shocked tone. "Well at least how one Parker brother betrayed you."

I dropped my head in embarrassment. I didn't know she knew anything. How could she? Did everyone know?

"I may be old, and maybe a little senile at times, but I know what a broken heart looks like. I've been there myself."

I didn't speak. Instead I let her continue on what she wanted from me and how I was to oversee the rebuilding of Waterloo Terrace. I had no idea how I was going to be capable of anything she asked of me. Me, a farm girl from Willingden overseeing the development of a sea bathing community?

"What about Tom?" I was finally able to get out. "He's put so much of himself into Sanditon already. He would be hurt if he knew I was taking over his position."

"Tom has left. His wife and children still remain here. I sense there's trouble in their marriage. He's been gone for quite some time in his futile attempt to find investors."

I sighed heavily thinking about Tom and Mary having troubles in their marriage. I hoped it wasn't true.

"Besides, it's my money and I'll have whoever I please oversee how it's spent."

"Why me?" I asked.

"I believe I've already explained myself. You seem to be more capable than anyone else I've ever met. You love Sanditon just as much as I do and want to see it developed into something great. You are the right person for the job. And with your connections to Lady Worcester, I think you may be able to convince her to come for another visit. Perhaps she will invite the Prince Regent to come as well. I've been meaning to ask Lord Babington to use his connections to invite the Prince Regent, but as a newly married man, he and Esther are not to be bothered."

"To be honest, Lady Denham, I haven't heard from Lady Susan since the regatta. I'm not sure I'd have much luck getting her to come back for a second visit."

"Well, we mustn't say no until we try."

I shook my head not believing I was capable.

"Think on it tonight. If you don't wish to be my business partner, I can make arrangements to have you returned to Willingden."

Later in the evening I confided in Alison what Lady Denham had asked of me. I was not prepared for what she wanted and I wasn't sure I was capable. The thought excited me, but it also terrified me. What if I failed? What if what happened with Tom happened to me? My family would never be able to fix a mess like Tom had gotten himself in. Would anyone even listen or care what I had to say? I was a woman after all. Alison understood my concern but felt as if Lady Denham must really trust me to give me such a task. She also wasn't ready to leave yet when she hadn't even seen Sanditon.

I barely slept all night as thoughts raced through my mind. I was sure I was going to be the worst overseer and Lady Denham was going to regret her choice. Tom and all the Parker family would resent me, surely. Yet, if Sanditon was rebuilt and prosperous they would all benefit greatly. Could they really resent me if that happened? Would they even see it that way or only see my betrayal?

Before the sun came up in the morning, I dressed and went for a walk. I needed some air and time to think. It took some time, but I eventually reached the beach and walked along the water's edge with my bare feet. Even with the cooler weather setting in, I desired to take a dip in the water. Being so early, though there was no one to take the bathing machine to the water, if they even would this time of year. I decided to take a chance and go further down the coast out of sight of anyone. I got in the water with only my shift on. I'd only be in there for a moment. No one would ever know.

The water was cold and felt like needles hitting my skin all over. It felt invigorating and cleared my head as I'd hoped it would. I went under the water and swam around before bobbing back up and taking a deep breath. I missed the rush of the cool water. The sun was shining brightly on the water and as much as I wished to stay where I was, I needed to get back to Lady Denham's to give her an answer.

I glanced around to make sure no one was around and dressed quickly behind a rock before running back to Sanditon House.

Later in the morning I gave Lady Denham my answer and waited to meet with Mr. Robinson. I was going to at least try. It's all I could do.

"I do have one request though," I said.

Lady Denham rolled her eyes and waited for me to speak. "I want to work with Tom, rather than against him."

"Out of the question!" she spat angrily. "I won't have it."

"Lady Denham, Tom knows more about Sanditon than anyone. He's put his whole soul into building Sanditon. At least allow me to ask for his guidance. If I feel like his opinion isn't going to benefit Sanditon, I will ask for your opinion and let you be the deciding vote."

She sighed and looked at me sternly. I could feel my sister staring at me with fear of what she might say. I wasn't going to back down, though. "Very well. But I find it hard for you to ask him anything when he isn't here."

"I'm sure he will return."

After breakfast Mr. Robinson arrived. He seemed quite nervous but was friendly enough. Lady Denham had a lot of opinions and I questioned what exactly she needed me for. Halfway through our meeting she seemed fatigued and asked Alison to help her to a seat. My sister was very attentive to her and stayed by her side to help with anything she needed. My sister was always a great caretaker and oversaw the care of our younger siblings growing up.

I continued my meeting with Mr. Robinson and came to the conclusion I'd have to see the state of the buildings to move forward.

"Alison, would you like to go with us?" I asked after explaining we needed to go into town.

She glanced to Lady Denham looking for permission. "Go child. Don't fuss. I might go to my room and take a small nap." She rose from her chair and Alison walked with her to her room before returning to the drawing room.

I grabbed my coat and followed Mr. Robinson out to the carriage with Alison following behind. In town we looked over the damage and discussed laborers. It appeared that after the fire happened, most of the laborers moved on to other projects and left Waterloo Terrace in its wreckage. Until Sidney was married and had access to the fortune Mrs. Campion held, there wasn't any way to move forward. But, with Lady Denham wanting to continue investing with someone new to oversee, perhaps we could at least get started with the cleanup. I had hope that some of the apartments would be salvageable with a little airing out and fresh paint. Come spring we could begin the rebuild and start again. Mr. Robinson felt hopeful with my optimism and planned to get started right away.

"Should we visit Georgiana while we are in town?" I asked Alison.

"I'd love to."

We walked over to Mrs. Griffiths arm in arm and were ushered up to Georgiana's room. She seemed surprised to see us.

"I didn't expect to see either of you so soon. Did you escape Lady Denham's clutches?"

I laughed and sat down on her bed next to her. "She's not all bad."

Georgiana rolled her eyes as if she didn't believe me.

"She truly isn't," Alison added. "I have come to like her. She's very direct, but I admire that. And she seems to have a lot of faith in Charlotte's abilities."

"What does that mean?" Georgiana asked. I explained what she had asked me to do. Georgiana feared she was setting me up for failure, but I refused to let that happen. I would be smarter and wiser with my choices. To be honest, it helped me push my thoughts of Sidney Parker aside and I was feeling whole once again. I looked forward to what I might be able to accomplish.

We stayed with Georgiana for most of the afternoon. Alison got to meet the Beaufort sisters. Being the kind-hearted spirit Alison was, she didn't understand why Georgiana didn't like them. I didn't have anything against the girls myself, but I knew Georgiana was quite annoyed by them at times.

After leaving Georgiana, I wanted to stop in on Mary for just a moment.

"Charlotte!" she said rushing to me and crushing me in a hug. "I didn't expect to see you back so soon."

"Lady Denham has invited me and my sister Alison to stay with her."

"Lady Denham?" she asked surprised by the notion.

I laughed. "Yes. She requires company and a piano player which my sister is happy to oblige."

"Alison, I remember you well. It's good to see you here." Mary gave Alison a hug too then rang for tea ushering us into her drawing room to sit with her.

I caught up with Mary during tea and discovered Tom was in London on business. I assumed something to do with Sanditon as Mary didn't discuss his purpose. She explained that she and the children were leaving for London in a few days. I was thankful she didn't tell us why even if I already knew. Sidney's wedding was just a week away. I chose not to say anything about the business arrangement Lady Denham and I had. I didn't want to add more stress to her for the time being. I got to see the children and play a bit with them. I was filled with happiness to see all of them again. I truly felt like I was home.

Mary insisted we all take a walk on the beach before the sun set. I thought it a terrific idea since I had yet to bring Alison down by the sea. Alison and the children played and splashed around in the cold water as I walked arm in arm with Mary.

"How are you holding up, my dear?" Mary asked. I knew what she was getting to.

"I'm doing well," I answered. "I'm happy to be back in Sanditon; even more so that I get to be here with my sister."

"I hope you don't think ill of our family."

"Why would I? What your family is doing for Sanditon is admirable. I can't deny that."

"If there was any other way," Mary began before I cut her off.

"There isn't. I'm aware of my station. I have hope for Sanditon and plan to make it a better place if I can." I thought back to when Sidney scolded me for not knowing the ways of the world and how he and his brother were trying to leave the world a better place. He questioned what I was doing to fulfill that task. At the time I was doing nothing. Now, I felt I had the potential to do something just as great as they were.

"It's already a better place with you back here," Mary said squeezing my hand and smiling sweetly at me.

After our walk we headed back to Trafalgar House and boarded the carriage to take us back to Sanditon House.

"Please come visit again before we leave," Mary requested. "I'm not sure when we will be back again."

"I will," I promised.

We were just about to drive away when Mary called out and asked us to wait. She ran back in the house and came back a few moments later with a letter in her hand. "I almost forgot. This letter came for you the other day. I had planned to send it with my next letter to you, but here you are."

"Thank you, Mary," I said taking the letter from her.

As the carriage began the drive back to Sanditon House I opened the letter. I was sure the look on my face must have been dreadful.

"What is it?" Alison asked. "Bad news?"

"Lady Susan is coming to visit at the end of the month. She's bringing the Prince Regent."


	7. Antigua

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What really happened in Antigua? How is Sidney connected to Georgiana? What's their backstory?

~~Sidney~~

The hurt I felt after leaving the Heywood home was unbearable. Even with our time apart, seeing Charlotte again made my heart ache to be with her. To be a better man for her. I was just a shell of a man without her. I had no purpose.

I began to head back towards London but thought better of it and decided I didn't belong there any longer. I told myself I needed to be sure Georgiana made it back to Sanditon safely. These roads were dangerous for an inexperienced driver. I stopped at the hilltops and watched as three women boarded the carriage. I assumed the third must be Charlotte's sister Alison she spoke fondly of. Why they were returning to Sanditon, I wondered.

I followed behind the carriage at a safe distance so I wasn't detected but could still ensure they made it safely. I was surprised to see the carriage pull up in front of Lady D's home and the girls get out. I watched from the safety of the trees on the back of my horse as they said goodbye to Georgiana and then turned towards the young man who drove them. A brother perhaps with the way they laughed and hugged him before leaving.

As curious as I was to see what they were doing at Lady Denham's, I couldn't stay there in the trees all night waiting for a glimpse of Charlotte. When I couldn't wait any longer, I followed the carriage the rest of the way into Sanditon and watched from afar that Georgiana was safely back at Mrs. Griffiths. Once she was safe, I walked to the Crowne Hotel and checked into a room. I had a restless night of sleep as thoughts of Charlotte at Lady Denham's betrayed my mind. I finally decided to get up and go for a swim. I found that the cold water refreshed me and cleared my mind. The town was silent when I walked down towards the beach. Not a soul in sight anywhere. The crisp morning air cooled my cheeks and chapped my lips.

It appeared someone had beat me to the cove and was already swimming in the sea. I watched from afar. What was strange about it, was the sight of thin white cloth floating in the water. No man would be in the sea with clothing on.

Charlotte.

I turned my head and hid behind a rock when I saw her peak her head above the water and realized it was her. I felt ashamed for watching her. What on earth was she doing? I couldn't help but take another peek from behind the rock and smiled at the sight of her. The wet material of her shift clung to her body, arousing me in ways I hadn't felt before. I thought about the time she walked up on me in a similar way. I suppose we were even now. I stayed hidden until she was gone, not wanting to reveal myself to her just yet. I didn't want her to think I had followed her, even though that was entirely what I did.

After my own long swim and some food, I walked to the post office. I sent a letter to Arthur letting him know Georgiana was safely back in Sanditon as I felt he cared more than anyone for her safety and would be sure to share the news. I let him know I planned to stay in Sanditon for a time to ensure her safety.

I sent a letter to Crowe also letting him know I was in Sanditon for a time. I asked him to oversee my business affairs in my absence.

The last letter I sent was for Eliza. I tried to find the words to explain how I couldn't marry her. How I couldn't be in a loveless marriage for the rest of my life. How I couldn't be connected to money tainted by slavery as hers was. How sorry I was for taking advantage of her money. How I hoped she could be a decent person and not ruin Georgiana or Charlotte's reputations. If I had to take the fall for it, I would. I could recover from a scandal.

Everything I tried to write came out wrong, though. I fumbled over my words and found nothing seemed to express what I really wanted to say. Instead I kept it simple.

Postpone the wedding.

After leaving the post office, I noticed Charlotte at the building site with her sister speaking to Mr. Robinson. I watched curiously and wondered what they would be talking about. She never seemed to speak to him before. Was this a new friendship? Their conversation seemed intense and revolved around the building site. For a moment, I thought Alison caught me watching them. I quickly ducked into one of the shops to hide myself. A few moments later I watched the two girls walk arm in arm past the shop and towards Mrs. Griffiths. Once again Alison turned and looked directly at me in the shop. She knew I was there but didn't seem to say anything to Charlotte.

I waited outside the shop and watched for them to leave Georgiana. I thought about going to speak with her once they left. Find out what she knew. Find out if they planned to stay for long. I kept trying to tell myself that I was acting like a silly boy following a girl around and tried desperately to walk away and go back to my room. But I couldn't.

When they left Georgiana and headed towards Trafalgar house, I decided to go talk to Mr. Robinson instead of Georgiana.

"Mr. Parker," he said with a shocked tone. "I wasn't aware you were back in town."

"I just arrived yesterday," I explained. "I thought I might come by and see how things are going here."

"Not great, sir. Without the funds, it's all but been abandoned."

"I see." I looked around and climbed over some charred pieces of wood.

"Miss Heywood has some great plans, though."

"Miss Heywood!" I said with a surprised tone.

"Yes. She's overseeing the building projects now at Lady Denham's request."

"You must be mistaken," I said.

"I'm quite right. I just came from Lady Denham's house where we had a meeting then came here to see the project firsthand."

Charlotte would never betray Tom by working against him. What is she up to? What is Lady Denham up to? I still had so many questions and, in a way, felt betrayed. Yet, I still felt a need to help her. Perhaps I was assuming too much and needed to give it time before I judged too harshly.

"What are her plans?" I asked curiously.

"Well first, I need to find some laborers to help me clean up the wreckage. Miss Heywood seems to think we may be able to save most of the buildings with a little cleaning and airing out."

Looking over things myself, she was right.

"I never thought her so capable, you know," Mr. Robinson continued. "Being a woman, she seems to know quite a lot."

I hummed in response and tightened my jaw as well as my fists. I didn't like the way he spoke of her. She was more capable in most things than anyone I'd ever known. "Perhaps I can send a letter to some connections I have in London and ask if they can spare some laborers for your efforts," I offered.

"Most generous, indeed," he said excitedly. "Thank you, sir."

I nodded my head in response and walked back down to the post office to send another letter. I sent this one to Babington asking for him to see what he could do about enquiring some laborers to send to Sanditon. I promised to pay the wages and offered a bonus to anyone who could be here in a day.

After leaving the post office for the second time, I walked over to visit with Georgiana. I had decided not to ask her about Charlotte. I worried it would just make her more upset with me. I needed to mend whatever relationship we had left first.

"What are you doing here?" she asked angrily as I walked into her room.

"I just came to see if you had settled in."

"I'm perfectly well. You don't need to trouble yourself with worry for me."

"You are mistaken, I do worry about you a great deal."

She glared at me but didn't say anything else. I moved across the room and sat down across from her. I stared at the floor for a moment and twisted my hat in my hands before speaking. "I don't pretend to know everything that happened between you and Mrs. Campion. But from what I've been able to piece together, I do need to apologize for my part in your distress. Your safety has been and always will be my top priority. I know my behavior has been neglectful lately. I do hope to do better in the future." She remained silent as I continued to speak. "I am grateful you have chosen to come back here and will spare no expense to make you happy."

"I didn't come here for you," she said. "I came to be close to Charlotte."

I dropped my head feeling the pain just the mention of her name did to me.

"Mr. Parker, I thought I heard you come in," Mrs. Griffiths said from the doorway interrupting our conversation.

I stood and greeted her properly. "Mrs. Griffiths, Miss Lambe will be staying here for a while longer until other arrangements are made." She nodded in understanding. "In the meantime, Georgiana is allowed to come and go as she pleases with either Miss Heywood sister as her companion."

Georgiana stared at me with a shocked expression as did Mrs. Griffiths. "What are you up to, Sidney?" she asked.

"Amends."

~0~

The next day I had received a letter from Eliza practically forbidding me from postponing the wedding and insisted I return to London at once. She reminded me what was at stake if I didn't return. After reading the letter, I crumpled it up and dropped it on the floor. I had no intentions of going back.

I walked over to Trafalgar House in need to talk to someone who might be able to help me make sense of my own traitorous thoughts.

"Sidney!" Mary said with excitement. I smiled in greeting and took her hands in mine. "What on earth are you doing here?"

"I had to ensure Miss Lambe made it back safely," I explained.

"I was so grateful to hear she had been found safe and had returned to Sanditon."

I nodded my head in agreement. "I spoke with her yesterday. She's still quite upset with me. I don't know if that will ever change."

"She is still young, Sidney. Give her time."

"Yes."

"I imagine you plan to return to London today," she said. "We plan to leave tomorrow. We are so looking forward to the wedding."

I dropped my head and sighed. "I don't plan to return."

"Sidney, you must!" she said rather breathless.

"Mary," I began just as the children came bounding down the stairs yelling Uncle Sidney and jumping on me. I greeted them playfully and picked up little Henry into my arms. They giggled with delight as I chased them from one room to the next. They had all grown since the last time I saw them, and even little James was walking and talking now. I played with them for quite some time until Mary insisted they give us time to talk and sent them to the nursery.

Mary had called for tea to be set up in the drawing room, so I followed her in there and sat down pouring myself a cup. She didn't speak at first as if she was waiting for me to explain what I meant.

"I know Tom's situation is still ominous. I do plan to do everything I can to fix this" I explained. "I just can't marry her."

"Sidney, the scandal that will come from it," she warned.

"I haven't called it off entirely. I have sent Eliza a letter asking her to postpone. Until I can fix this, I won't. If a scandal happens, I'll figure a way out of it."

"I imagine the return of a certain young lady here in Sanditon is what has made you come to this conclusion?" she asked.

I sighed and dropped my head again. "I don't pretend to hide my feelings for Charlotte from you. I do believe you saw my affection for her even before I did. But she isn't the reason for my decision. I don't think she would even have me at this point."

"You may be mistaken," she said. "I believe her feelings for you are unchanged." Her statement filled me with joy even if it was futile. "What is it that has changed your mind, if not Charlotte?"

I took a deep breath before explaining my situation. "I discovered some unfavorable information about Mrs. Campion that I can't overlook. Nor can I connect myself to it for the sake of Georgiana."

"Georgiana?" she asked with confusion in her voice. I thought it best to go back to explain better what I meant.

"When I was in Antigua, I became very close to Georgiana's father. He was like a father figure to me when I needed it the most. Georgiana was just a little girl when I first met her. I used to play with her and swing her around like I do my nieces and nephews now. She clung to me like a brother figure and I was happy to oblige. Honestly, I think my connection with her is what helped me to heal my own broken heart at the time. Her own father struggled to accept her and love her as his own and watched how easily I played with her with no sign on contempt. Perhaps he learned just as much from me that I learned from him. He began to pay more attention to Georgiana and spend more time with her, which I could see brightened Georgiana's spirits as it did her mother's. Family was everything to him. There was nothing more important. He considered me family also."

I took a sip from the tea before continuing. I had never spoken to anyone about my past and doing so now I found difficult. But Mary listened contently without any sign of judgement.

"When Georgiana's mother got sick and later died, he blamed himself. He was in a bad state and nothing anyone did brought him out of his misery. The only person that chipped just a little of that pain away was Georgiana. He confided in me that he wished to set his slaves free in an attempt to make amends for all his wrongdoing. He wanted Georgiana to grow up in a world where she had just as many opportunities as the next person and who was he to deny that ability from anyone regardless of their color or station. I followed and dropped out of any business dealings pertaining to slavery as I believed in what he was doing. It was the right thing to do. Of course, not everyone shared his opinion. Many neighbors thought what he did was reckless and feared an uprising of slaves trying to escape to better their situation. There was an uprising of angry neighbors instead and they attacked him, stringing him up like a negro and burning all his properties."

"Gracious!" Mary said with a sadness across her face.

"I didn't learn about this until later. We all sensed something dreadful, but we didn't really know what was coming. How bad it really was. Shortly before the attack he made arrangements for Georgiana to attend a school in London and asked me to accompany her there. If I had known what was going to happen…" I trailed off and dropped my head reliving the painful memories.

"You couldn't have known. You saved Georgiana's life as I imagine she would have perished right next to her father if she had stayed."

"As would I," I smiled thinking of how he saved both Georgiana and I. "Georgiana had no interest in going to London and refused at first. I practically had to drag her to the docks on the day we left. Once we discovered what happened to her father, she resented me for taking her away. I believe she thought she could have somehow saved him if she stayed and will forever blame me for his death."

"Surely she can't hold this against you. It wasn't your doing." I scoffed knowing deep down I too still blamed myself for his death. I could have insisted he come with us. I could have helped him start a new life in London. Instead, I was sent his Will that left everything to Georgiana and a small pension to me for becoming Georgiana's guardian until she was of age and could inherit her fortune. Why he entrusted her safety to me, I still did not quite understand. "No wonder you guard your heart so."

"This is precisely why I cannot connect myself to Mrs. Campion. It has been brought to my attention that her late husband made his fortune by being heavily involved in the slave trade and she has made threats to Georgiana about being sent to the America's as a slave. I have to protect Georgiana for her father's sake. It's my duty."

"I understand," Mary said looking hurt and fearful.

"I will find a way to make this right," I promised. "I won't see Tom in prison and you and the children on the streets."

She shook her head and tried to smile but I could see through her act. "It was wrong of Tom to ask you to fix his problem in such a way. I don't think he even sees past his own needs at the moment. In time, I hope that changes. I will talk to Tom and we will try to find another way. Don't worry about us, Sidney."

Even if I was told not to worry, it's all I did. I feared I had gotten my entire family in even more trouble than we already were.


	8. Alison and Georgiana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts out with Alison POV then will switch to Charlotte POV then go back to Alison POV. I like to write in first person POV. I think it really connects emotions to the characters that way. And all these characters have a story and will have a purpose so they all need a POV from time to time. The story will primarily focus on Sidney and Charlotte though. But honestly, my chapters are determined by whoever wants to speak up in my head from any given day.

~~Alison~~

I saw him. I know it was him. Why did Sidney Parker follow us to Sanditon? I didn't like it. I saw him watching Charlotte when we were at the building site then he ducked into one of the shops. When we walked by the shop, I looked again just to be sure and it was definitely him. Charlotte would be beside herself if she knew he was here. She was finally starting to seem normal again. Having a new project seemed to give her purpose. I needed to keep her away from Sidney Parker.

When we arrived back at the house and Charlotte told Lady Denham of the upcoming visit from Lady Worcester and The Prince Regent, she was overwhelmed with excitement.

"Didn't I tell you!" she said. "I knew you were the right person for the job. How wonderful. We have so much to do. Spare no expense. I want everything to be perfect for when they arrive. It'll be on the colder side. Oh, hopefully we don't have any dreary rain. I think it best for them to stay here during their visit. It is the best house in all of Sanditon. I'll need to plan a luncheon party in their honor. Charlotte, I'll need you to think of all the details. Perhaps we should have a ball as well. Write to Lady Worcester at once and find out what their intentions for their visit are. How long are they staying? What do they wish to do while here? We will need to make sure all the accommodations are prepared for their arrival."

"Yes, Lady Denham. I'll send a letter first thing in the morning."

"What will the terrace look like during their arrival? We can't possibly have it sitting in ruins during their visit."

"I've talked with Mr. Robinson. He is enquiring about some laborers to start the cleanup. I think once we get most of the burned wood out, we can salvage most of the apartments. I won't know for sure until we get started. We will need to hire a new stonemason. I can ask Mr. Robinson if he knows of any or if we should enquire in London. Alison and I plan to go in everyday to help with the process. We aren't afraid of a little hard work."

"Think of what it'll mean for our little town to have such a powerful man visit," she said dreamily. Charlotte and I smiled at each other watching her work herself up.

"Alison and I will take care of everything, Lady Denham," Charlotte offered. "Don't worry."

"You'll both need some appropriate attire for their visit. I can't have you looking like paupers when they arrive." Charlotte and I looked down at what we had on. I didn't quite understand. We definitely didn't have ball gowns on, but we weren't at a ball. Did she want us to dress like we were attending a ball the entire time they were visiting? "Go to the dress shop and have some new dresses made. Whatever you need, have it added to my account. Spare no expense to make yourselves look the part as my guests."

"That's very kind of you, Lady Denham. We don't want to overdo our welcome. Perhaps we could stay with Tom and Mary while the prince and Lady Susan visit?" Charlotte offered.

"Nonsense! Lady Worcester will be expecting to see you. I can't possibly kick you out when they arrive."

"Very well," Charlotte accepted. I was truly excited at the thought of buying new dresses like the ones Charlotte had brought home. Lady Denham was very kind to us.

Charlotte was exhausted after her busy day and retired to her room early, leaving me alone with Lady Denham. I had gotten a little more comfortable with her, but still felt it necessary to guard myself with her. I had played the piano for her all evening until my fingers were numb. Thankfully she finally gave me the freedom to stop as she said I was giving her a headache. I thought about returning to my room, but Lady Denham insisted I sit with her while she wrote letters of business.

"What are your thoughts of marriage, Miss Heywood?" she asked suddenly, distracting me from my reading. Lady Denham had given us access to her large library of books, which I was very grateful for. But I found it hard to focus on reading when Lady Denham was in the room.

"I'm afraid I don't have an opinion," I answered truthfully. I hadn't really thought about it. Of course, I enjoyed the attention of men at dances and truly loved to dance. I never thought of anyone I had danced with as the marrying type, though. Like Charlotte, I was only interested in marrying for love. It was what we were brought up to believe in.

"Much like your sister, I presume," she said. "Country girls are full of hopes and dreams instead of the realization of what marriage is truly about."

"Is it wrong to want to walk through life with someone you care about?"

"With that kind of expectation, you'll never find a husband."

"I don't believe that. I apologize if I speak out of turn, but I don't want to marry if it means I can't be happy."

"Your sister thought the same thing until she had her heart broken. I too had my heart broken in a similar fashion in my younger years. I believe Charlotte is learning the hard way that marriage isn't about love but about business. It's best you learn the same thing."

I narrowed my eyes and thought on it for a moment before speaking. "Lady Denham, it seems Sidney Parker has returned to Sanditon. I can't figure it out, but he seems to be watching Charlotte from afar. I'm not sure what to think of it."

"Isn't he to marry in just a few days?" she asked.

"I believe so. Yet, here he is in Sanditon. Why do you think he's following Charlotte the way he is?"

"I imagine she has him wishing things were different. One last glance at what could have been before he follows through with his business arrangement," she said. "Like I said, Miss Heywood, marriage is about business, not about love. I truly am sorry for Charlotte and for Sidney, but he has a duty to do."

I dropped my head not liking the answer she gave, yet I knew she was probably right. I imagined Charlotte would be in a rather dreadful state on the day of the wedding knowing what was happening and thinking on what could have been. I had to be sure I was a good sister and helped distract her from the pain she was sure to feel. Perhaps we could focus on doing something fun rather than work. Knowing Charlotte, though, she'd probably welcome work to distract.

I knew one thing for sure. If I had to choose between money and love, I'd choose love.

~~Charlotte~~

I woke early the next morning after a frightful dream of Sidney marrying Eliza looking happy and in love. I wanted nothing more than for him to be happy, but it hurt to see. I needed to keep myself distracted. Being at the building site during the day would definitely help keep me busy. I was already up and writing a letter to Susan when Alison came down to join me. Lady Denham had not been up yet, but her butler told us she was sleeping in and wasn't to be bothered.

Alison and I left early not to disturb her and stopped at the post office first to send my letters. Next we went to the dress shop and picked out the most wonderful colors of fabric and designs to have dresses made for us. I wasn't sure how the news had gotten out, but even the shop patrons had already heard the news of The Prince Regent arriving at the end of the month. Everyone was buzzing with excitement.

After spending most of the morning at the dress shop being measured and going over designs and patterns, we walked over to the building site. I was entirely shocked to find Mr. Robinson talking to a group of men and showing them what needed to be done. I walked up and listened in until he was finished.

"Miss Heywood," he greeted excitedly.

"Are these all laborers?" I asked. "I wasn't expecting this many so quickly."

"Isn't it wonderful!" he said. "Mr. Parker sent them from London." Tom did this? What a wonderful surprise, it was. Just when we needed them, too. The thought of Tom doing what he could in London to send the laborers our way sent a shock of guilt through me. I needed to send him a letter and let him know of the new arrangement Lady Denham and I had. I hoped he'd understand that I truly did all of this for him and his family. I wasn't asking for any gain from Sanditon being prosperous.

"Alison, I need to go back down to the post office and send Tom a letter."

"Perhaps I'll go down and visit with Georgiana," Alison suggested. "I fear I'll just get in the way here." I nodded my approval and took her arm in mine. We walked as far as the post office before I turned to go inside, and Alison continued down the street.

I spent the rest of the day at the building site and discussed with Mr. Robinson what I'd like to get started on first to at least make it look nice for when the Prince Regent arrived. It wouldn't nearly be finished, but at least we could have it looking nice. I met with the new stonemason Mr. Fritz, who assured me he'd had lots of experience and would build a grand building for us. He seemed a little like a flirt as he winked and smiled a lot. He wasn't an older gentleman like Old Stringer, but he wasn't exactly a young man either. I wasn't quite sure how to make him out. He gave me an odd feeling.

"Charlotte!" a familiar voice called out from the street below. I turned around from where I stood in one of the apartment openings and saw Esther down below. She looked so different than the last time I saw her. She was in a stylish dress and hat and had pink cheeks with her hair up in an elaborate updo. She looked happy. I waved and smiled down at her before making my way down to where she stood.

"Esther," I greeted giving her a hug. In the days leading up to her wedding to Lord Babington we had gotten very close. I even served as her bridesmaid. "What a wonderful surprise. I wasn't expecting to see you here in Sanditon again."

"Yes, well, my dear husband has decided to buy Denham Place as our summer estate. I wasn't thrilled with the idea at first, but he has given me freedom to design and renovate in any way I please. That excited me," she said with a devilish grin. I smiled in return.

"Have you seen Lady Denham yet?" I asked.

"We just came from her place. I was surprised to hear you and your sister are staying with her."

"No more than I was when the invitation from her came," I laughed as did she. "It's been nice, though. She has been quite kind to my sister and I."

"And Lady Denham has put you in charge of rebuilding this place?" Lord Babington asked coming up behind Esther and joining the conversation. I watched as he placed his hand on Esther's back and she leaned into him so naturally.

"I'm not exactly sure why, but I'm enjoying the work," I answered.

"And where is this sister of yours?" he asked.

"She's visiting with Miss Lambe at the moment. Perhaps I can bring her by to introduce you."

"Yes, please do come by and visit," Esther insisted. "I'm going to be rather lonely without anyone to talk to."

"Am I not good enough to talk to?" Lord Babington teased.

She slapped his chest playfully. "Oh, you know what I mean. I need a woman to talk to. Especially in my state." She smiled excitedly at me as if she was trying to tell me a secret with her eyes and my glance at Lord Babington showed me the same excited grin on his face. Realization filled my senses and I couldn't help but smile as well.

"Are you?"

Esther nodded her head and took my hands in hers. "I can't tell you how thrilled we both are to have a little one. I never thought I'd have a child, yet here we are. In just a few months we will be parents."

"I'm so happy for the both of you. I can't believe how well you both look. It'll be nice to have more time to catch up."

"Miss Heywood!" Mr. Fritz called. I turned around and waved my acknowledgement but didn't go straight over.

"We will be having dinner with Lady Denham tomorrow night. I'm sure we will have more time to speak then," Esther said giving me the freedom to return to the job. I gave her another hug and wished them well. I watched as they walked away arm in arm looking at each other with grinning faces and a quick kiss on the lips. I didn't like the pain I felt from watching them. I should be happy for them. I could only imagine the pain came from longing to have the same thing they had. I'd never wanted it before, not until Sidney. But with him not an option anymore, perhaps someone new would come along. I smiled at the thought, but only for a moment. With the thought of new love only brought sadness of lost love.

"Miss Heywood!" Mr. Frits called out again in an angry tone. I quickly collected my thoughts and met him up on the terrace to see what he needed.

~~Alison~~

"You will never believe what has happened," Georgiana said guiding me to sit on the bed with her. She seemed rather excited and I wondered if she had also heard of the Prince Regent coming to visit.

"Is this about the Prince Regent?" I asked.

She looked at me with confusion on her face. "I don't know what you are talking about. The Prince Regent?"

"Yes, he's coming for a visit at the end of the month."

"How do you know this?"

"Lady Worcester sent a letter to Charlotte informing her of their impending visit."

"That is exciting news, but that's not what I was going to tell you."

I looked at her with a confused expression this time. "Then what is it?"

"Sidney gave me my freedom!" she blurted. I looked at her curiously not quite understanding her meaning. "Well not entirely. But he said I am free to come and go as I please with either you or Charlotte as my companion. Can you believe it?"

I was still quite confused. Perhaps Charlotte would understand her meaning better than I.

"What are you waiting for?" she shouted and shook my shoulders. "Invite me to go somewhere. I need to get out of here."

"Oh. Um. Where should we go?" I was still unfamiliar with most of Sanditon.

She rolled her eyes and took my hands in hers. "Tell Mrs. Griffiths we are going for a walk along the clifftops." I still wasn't quite sure what was happening, but I followed her directions and went to talk to Mrs. Griffiths. A few moments later Georgiana and I were leaving arm in arm towards the cliffs.

"Could you possibly explain a little more what all that is about?" I asked.

"Mrs. Griffiths has had me locked away in that house for months. And before that I was a prisoner at that wretched girl's school. I've barely had any fun and I want to go out to explore the world."

"And Mr. Parker has forbidden you from going out?"

"Unless it's approved by him. Until now anyway. He has given me permission to go anywhere I please as long as I'm with you or Charlotte."

"Why would he do that?" I asked.

"I'm not entirely sure. He just said he was trying to make amends. But it doesn't matter. What matters is, I'm free to do as I please." She ran a distance in front of me and ran through the grass like she had done in Willingden with my siblings. The wind blew her skirts up and billowed her hair. She laughed and turned in circles enjoying the breeze. I laughed watching her and chased after as we played in the grass. We spun in circles, hand in hand until we went so fast that we both went tumbling to the ground with fits of giggles. We stayed on the ground staring up at the sky until our laughter calmed.

"Georgiana," I began with a more serious tone. "I saw Sidney Parker watching Charlotte yesterday. She didn't see him, thank goodness. He tried to hide when he saw I had detected him. What do you think of it?"

She sat up and our eyes met. "He's a fool who loves her. That's what I think of it."

"But he's to be married. Is he planning to follow Charlotte around forever and make her feel even worse than she already does? If she had saw him watching her, she would be in hysterics. You didn't hear her late at night crying when she got back to Willingden. She tried so hard to hide her pain, but I could see it. I can't stand him if he's going to continue to make Charlotte sad."

"I used to trust him and love him like a brother, until I saw who he truly was."

"How do I keep him away from Charlotte?" I asked.

"If he goes through with marrying Mrs. Campion she won't let him out of her grimy hands. I'm sure he's back in London already. You don't have anything to worry about. He's gone."

"I hope so."

"Miss Lambe!" a voice called out. "Miss Lambe!" We both sat up and saw a portly man nearly running towards us.

Georgiana waved and giggled seeing him. I assumed it must be someone she knew. We both got on our feet and straightened our skirts.

"Mr. Parker," she greeted to my surprise.

"Miss Lambe, I was filled with joy to hear you were safe and back here in Sanditon," he said with a pleasant smile on his face.

"I was never in any danger, no matter what Sidney told you," Georgiana said rolling her eyes.

"Still, I feared for your safety." Georgiana gave him an endearing smile and turned towards me.

"Arthur I'd like to introduce you to Miss Alison Heywood, Charlotte's sister. Alison this is Arthur Parker, Sidney's brother."

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you miss. Any friend of Charlotte's and Georgiana's is a friend of mine." He grinned and looked pleased with himself. This was the Arthur Parker Charlotte had written about. She described him perfectly. "Would either of you be interested in joining me for a walk into town to the bakery? It's been a long trip here and I'm in need of something sweet."

"We'd be delighted, Arthur," Georgiana said. She took his arm and then took mine as the three of us walked back into town.

"Where is Diana Parker?" Georgiana asked. "I don't believe I've ever seen you out of arm's reach of her."

"I must confess, I've left the comforts of my sister's nurturing for the first time," he said. I stifled a giggle at the way he said it in a foreboding way.

"And she let you?" Georgiana asked also trying not to giggle.

"I have found that London isn't for me. When I was here, I enjoyed myself and had a laugh or two with friends. In London, I'm not important to anyone. No. London isn't for me. My sister, on the other hand, is a true Londoner. She enjoys the gossip and the excitement of gentile society. That's not for me. I plan to stay here for a time. Perhaps permanently."

"I'm happy to hear it," Georgiana said. "Have you heard the news of the Prince Regent visiting Sanditon?"


	9. Wedding Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short little chapter. Next chapter is much longer and in Sidney's POV. I started writing Sidney's chapter first but then felt like I needed to have a little of Charlotte's thoughts leading into his thoughts.

~~Charlotte~~

The day had finally come. The day I had dreaded for weeks. The day my possible happiness would be taken away forever. I didn't want to get out of bed. I stayed there for much longer than I normally did and didn't even stir until Alison came in and opened the curtains, making it clear it was actually day. I would have been perfectly happy staying in the darkness for the rest of my existence.

"Come on, Charlotte. I'm not going to let you stay in bed all day feeling helpless. Georgiana and I have a plan," Alison said.

I pulled the covers back from my face and looked at her. "What kind of plan?"

She smiled devilishly. "You'll have to get up to find out."

Once I had dressed and pulled myself together for the most part, I walked into town with Alison. I was surprised to find Georgiana was allowed to leave with us. Apparently, I hadn't visited in a while and missed the understanding Georgiana had with Sidney that she could go where she pleased as long as she was with Alison or myself. I felt bad for not coming to visit sooner, but the building project had completely consumed me. Some days Alison didn't even come into town with me and would stay behind with Lady Denham. I could tell Lady Denham enjoyed her company. She did seem to have that effect on most everyone.

"I'm sorry it's been so long since I've come to visit, Georgiana," I said.

"It's quite alright. Alison and I have had lots to talk about and made plenty of plans for today," she responded.

"I fear I should be worried," I answered.

"Nothing to worry about, dear sister. Come with us. First is our dress fittings." Alison pulled me forward and I reached back to grab Georgiana's hand to pull her with us. It was nice to have both of them to keep me company on this day.

We spent the morning at the dress shop trying on the dresses we had made at Lady Denham's request. Afterwards we indulged in a sweet doughy treat from the bakery in town. After that we went for a walk into the trees of Sanditon Park and picked plums from a tree. Perhaps the cook at Sanditon House could use them for a special treat. After our time in the countryside, we walked back into town and went to the schoolhouse to watch the children put on a little show for the townspeople. The children sang songs, put on a puppet show, and even did a little skit. It was wonderful and truly distracted me from my own treacherous thoughts.

Walking back to Mrs. Griffiths, I got to thinking how wonderful the skits were that the children had put on. I had heard of the playhouses in London and even read a few books the plays were based off of. It would be wonderful if we were able to bring some of that livelihood to Sanditon. How spectacular it would be to have that culture here for all to enjoy.

"Sanditon needs a playhouse," I blurted. Both Georgiana and Alison stopped and stared at me with questioning eyes. "The Prince Regent enjoys watching plays, ballets, operas. He enjoys the arts. We should bring a little of that here to Sanditon."

"How on earth are you going to make that happen?" Georgiana asked.

"I'm not sure. But I must try."

That evening I spoke with Lady Denham about the possibility of creating a playhouse. She liked the idea and thought it would be a great way to draw people to Sanditon, but until Mr. Parker was able to pay her back what he owed, there was no way to make it happen. I was heartbroken, but if given the opportunity we could at least tell the prince of our plans. Mr. Robinson enjoyed my idea also and had some great ideas on where it should be built. He wasn't an architect by any means, but he did know about building.

I still hadn't heard from Lady Susan, which had me worried their plans may have fallen through. I hoped for all of our sakes I'd receive a letter from her soon. All I could do was immerse myself in work. Most of what I did was just instructing, making quick decisions, and cleaning. All the buildings we were able to save had to be thoroughly washed and aired out to get rid of the smoke smell. It was a lot of work and none of the men wanted the job. They were builders not cleaners, as I was reminded frequently. I didn't mind the work, though. It helped distract my mind and keep me busy.

Esther and Babington had come to Lady Denham's nearly every night for dinner and conversation. I enjoyed their company as did Lady Denham. Neither of them had said anything about expecting and Esther had asked me not to say anything, which I obliged. I found out later that they wanted to have a dinner party and invite a few guests. I assumed that would be when they announced the pregnancy.

On the day of the dinner party, Alison and I took Lady Denham's carriage into town as we had planned to bring Georgiana back with us. In the afternoon they came to ask if I was ready to go, but I was not. I encouraged them to take the carriage back home and I would walk. At first Alison refused, but I insisted. I assured her I'd be back in plenty of time and the walk would do me good. I would have been fine until it started to rain in the late afternoon. Most of the laborers wanted to call it a day and go down to the local pub for a drink. I implored them to keep going, but very few wanted to stay and even those who did at first, ultimately gave in to their drinking habits. I stayed longer than I had planned in hopes to get more done, but also hoping the rain would let up. When I accepted defeat, I had no choice but to walk home in the rain. As I walked, I looked down at my hands that had become calloused and raw from the work I had been doing. I was sure I was a frightful sight. Hopefully when I got back to the house, I'd have time to dress before guests began to arrive. I wasn't sure who all was invited. A part of me wondered if Sidney was invited, but then I thought better of it as he had just married. There was no possible way he'd be here now. At least I wouldn't have to worry about seeing him or Mrs. Campion; or rather Mrs. Parker now.

As it got darker and the rain got heavier, I tried to run hoping to get to the house faster. I had begun to get a little scared being out by myself in the dark. I scolded myself for staying at the building site so late.

I could hear a wagon coming up from behind me. I prayed that it was someone invited to the party and not a scoundrel. I prayed even more that no matter who it was, they paid no mind to me and kept going.

When the wagon stopped in front of me, I cursed my prayers. I lost my breath when I saw him step out of the wagon. Of all people, why him?


	10. Dinner Party

~~Sidney~~

The days went by rather slowly after I told Mary of my decision. Mary left for London with the children and planned to talk to Tom about their situation. I imagined it was only a matter of time before Tom was back in Sanditon to take over for the Prince Regent's arrival. He'd let Charlotte do all the work and swoop in at the last minute to claim he had done it all in true Tom fashion. I cared about my brother, but he did tend to take credit for other's contributions. Thankfully for him, Charlotte didn't seem to mind. That's just the kind of person she is; selfless, humble, caring. She was the perfect woman in all ways. Why no one else could see that was infuriating.

"How long are you going to lock yourself away here?" Babington asked. I hadn't left the hotel more than a few times in the last three days. I tried hard to stay away from Charlotte. I didn't want to bother her and cause her even more pain. Every now and then I'd get a glance of her walking by with Alison, but I didn't approach her. I needed to figure out what to do next to come up with the money. I sent letters to practically everyone I knew to no avail. Other than Babington who decided to buy Denham Place. He even gave a small investment in the rebuilding on Sanditon. He and Esther were staying there for a short time to discuss renovation plans before they were to return to his estate in London.

I smiled at Babington and poured him a drink when he sat down. "Until I can come up with the money to pay my brother's debts, this is where I stay."

"You mean until Mrs. Campion comes and hunts you down and drags you back to London," he teased.

"That too," I laughed. "I would appreciate a warning if you see her coming."

He laughed and playfully promised to do just that.

"I saw her the other day, you know. She seemed good," Babington said in a more serious tone. I knew he wasn't talking of Eliza. I had come to the conclusion he didn't care for Eliza. I didn't bother asking why. He probably held the same contempt for her as I did. He was referring to Charlotte.

"You don't know the kind of pain I've inflicted on her. I know it all too well. Although the pain I feel now is much stronger and harder to get over."

"You could just talk to her," he suggested. I shook my head knowing I couldn't do that to her.

"I've never met a more stubborn man in all my life. If you love the girl go tell her."

I smiled and dropped my head staring blankly at the drink in my hand. If only it was that easy. "I need to take care of my position with Mrs. Campion first. I can't pursue Charlotte when I'm connected to another woman."

"Parker!" Crowe called out from the doorway causing a scene. I groaned at the sight of him. He was a good friend, but at times was rather obnoxious. He walked over to us and sat down. "I'm pretty sure you are supposed to be a married man right now."

"I imagine Eliza is furious," I said questioning what he knew. Today was supposed to be the day I connected myself to Eliza, but I didn't go back to London despite the influx of letters demanding I come back and not to betray her. I was surprised she hadn't shown up in Sanditon herself looking for me.

"Furious would be an understatement. She may just murder you," he laughed. "Of course, she's trying to play it off as if you had unexpected business to attend to. When you return the wedding will go forward. She doesn't want to look like a fool in front of her society friends."

"Then it's settled. I'm never to return to London," I announced raising my glass for a toast. We all clinked glasses while laughing and drank. I poured us all another drink and decided on a game of cards.

"What is the current situation with a certain Charlotte Heywood? Might I presume you have convinced her to marry you already?" Crowe asked as I passed out the cards.

I sighed and took another drink. "Not in the slightest. I haven't spoken to her since being back in Sanditon."

"Why ever not? Isn't that your whole reason for being back here? You have broken the engagement with one woman to pursue another, am I right?" Crowe asked. I glanced at Babington hoping for a little help, but he only stared at me with the same curious expression as Crowe.

"I came here to have some time to think. That is all," I answered.

"But Charlotte is here, is she not?"

"What's your point, Crowe?" I asked getting even more annoyed.

He leaned back in his chair and had a smug look on his face. "Seems there are plenty of other places you could think other than Sanditon. There must be something here you're after."

I glared at him and let out an angry breath through my nose. I knew he was right, but I didn't want his opinion of it.

"Esther and I are to attend a dinner party with Lady Denham tomorrow. Perhaps the both of you should come," Babington suggested, finally doing something to change the subject.

"I'm in. There's nothing else to do in this town. Might as well enjoy Lady Denham insult and berate people," Crowe said with a laugh.

"If you don't like it here, why do you keep coming back?" I asked angrily.

"I get quite enjoyment watching my good friends make asses of themselves in front of these women who couldn't give a damn about them. It's rather amusing," he chuckled before taking another drink.

"The self-proclaimed bachelor," Babington said.

"Precisely!" Crowe said raising his glass again.

"You do know I did finally win the girl's heart?" Babington reminded.

"Barely!" Crowe teased.

Babington shook his head and smiled. "Parker, what about you? Will you join us at Lady Denham's party?" I knew Charlotte would be there if I did. She would know I was in Sanditon. Would she assume I followed her here as that is precisely what I did? Would she think badly of me for leaving Eliza? I couldn't face it yet.

"I'd rather not," I answered rising from my chair and finishing off my drink. "I'll talk to you men later."

"Parker! Sidney, wait!" Babington called out chasing after me. I stopped and rolled my eyes before turning around to face him as he caught up to me in the doorway. I squared my shoulders and raised my chin ready to turn him down a second time. He wasn't going to win this fight. "I know you don't want to see her right now, but Esther and I have an announcement to make and you need to be there."

I sighed. "Just give me the news now, man. Then me presence isn't necessary."

He dropped his head and sighed heavily almost like he was hurt by what I said. "Sidney, you're my greatest friend. I need you there. I need a Godfather for my child."

Realization hit me hard and I softened my stance with a sheepish grin on my face. He shyly smiled in return. I gave him a pat on the back congratulating him and we had a good chuckle at him becoming a father. "You'll be there, won't you?" he asked again in a desperate tone.

"I suppose I don't have a choice," I said accepting the invite. "I'll be there." I patted him on the back one last time before heading out into the darkness of the night. As much as I wanted to keep my distance, I had to go now.

~0~

Every morning before Charlotte arrived at the building site, I would go check in with Mr. Robinson to see if there was anything he needed from me and to be sure all the laborers that had arrived were accounted for and paid properly. We had worked out an arrangement that he wouldn't speak of my presence or my investment in the laborers. He seemed quite confused as to why, but accepted my request when I offered him a bonus for being discrete. Every morning I was impressed how things were going. Charlotte had an eye for building, for planning, for direction. She captivated me more each and every day making my love for her grow exponentially.

Most of the laborers were hard workers and did their job well knowing they were getting paid substantially. I didn't care for the new stonemason, though. He was crude and disrespectful towards Charlotte. Mr. Robinson confided that he had some concerns about the way he spoke to Charlotte and the way he watched her. Sometimes he looked at her like he couldn't fathom being told what to do by a woman, and then other times looked at her like he was ready to ravish her. I enlisted Mr. Robinson's help in keeping a close eye on him and to let me know if anything was afoot. His work was exceptional, but he wasn't worth it if it meant Charlotte was in any danger.

Mr. Robinson had let me know of Charlotte's plans to build a playhouse here in Sanditon. Unfortunately, she wouldn't be able to have it done by the time the prince arrived, but I had a plan. If we couldn't have a building erected in time, perhaps we could at least have a gazebo built down by the river. I sent word to London at once to send lumber and enlist someone who could build it. I also sent a request for actors who may be willing to come to Sanditon while the Prince Regent was here to put on a little show. The lumber and architect had arrived that morning, so I was instructing some of the men to take it down by the river and begin putting the stage together. More and more I was investing in Sanditon's development when before I tried hard to avoid it. But Sanditon meant so much to Charlotte and I didn't want her to fail like my brother had.

I ducked away right before Charlotte and Alison arrived. I was able to watch from a distance for a while as Charlotte instantly took control. Surprisingly all the men followed her instruction and demands. I smiled watching how strong and determined she was. Alison looked uninterested in what Charlotte was telling them. After just a few short minutes Alison left and walked down to visit with Georgiana. I did have plans to check in on Georgiana, but instead I walked down to visit my brother who was newly back in Sanditon.

"Greetings!" he said with a big grin when he saw I had come to visit.

I smiled in return and removed my hat. "Arthur."

"To what do I owe the great pleasure of my brother's presence in my humble home?" he asked excitedly.

"I only came to see how you were getting on without our sister caring for your every need. She sent me a rather desperate letter to keep an eye on you."

He laughed and grabbed a biscuit from a tray on the table. "I am perfectly well. It's been nice to have a place of my own. I tried to convince Diana to accompany me back to Sanditon, but she refused. It's the first time I think we've ever been apart."

I hummed in response. Indeed, it was. Our sister practically raised Arthur from a young boy, me as well in my adolescent years. She gave up on any prospects of marriage for herself to care for us. She was only a young girl when our parents died of illness, the same illness that almost took Arthur. I wondered if that was why she was always paranoid something dreadful was going to happen to him or to her. She didn't trust her own abilities in child rearing or being able to nurse Arthur back to health a second time.

"But have no fear," Arthur said. "I have hired a lovely maid who has taken it upon herself to make my home and belly a happy place. She's a wonderful cook. You should try one of her biscuits." I smiled and took one of the biscuits from the tray he held out in front of me.

"Glad to hear you are in good hands." I dropped my head and had a pensive look about me. "I suppose I came to apologize also."

"Whatever for?" he asked with a chuckle.

"I haven't been kind to you in the last few weeks, perhaps years. I should have been a better brother."

Arthur smiled and gave me an endearing look. "Brothers quarrel. Brothers grow apart. Brothers pave their own path. But brothers also know that no matter what, they are the only ones who truly have their back, through and through."

I nodded my head understanding his meaning. I didn't always agree or like what either of my brothers chose to do in their lives, nor even my sister. But no matter what, if one of them needed something of me, I would do everything in my power to make it happen. I'd protect them with my life.

"No harm done, Sidney. I am happy to have such great brothers in my life."

"As am I," I said with a smile making my peace with my younger brother.

"Have you heard of the Prince Regent coming to visit?" he asked changing the subject.

"I did hear something about it. Most people are buzzing with excitement."

"Georgiana told me about it a few days back. She seems different now. She has a lighter enthusiasm for life."

I was glad to hear she was in better spirits. Arthur definitely seemed to care for her a great deal. I wondered what his intentions with her were. I had thought about what I would say if he asked for her hand in marriage. I wondered if Georgiana would accept him. Would Arthur be able to make her happy? "Did she give any indication as to why she was in better spirits?"

"She didn't say anything specifically, but did say something about feeling free. I'm not sure what that meant. I'm no expert on women and how they think."

I knew what she meant. I had given her freedom. I felt horrible for making her feel like she was trapped. I vowed to make sure she never felt that way again.

"Have you heard from Tom?" I asked changing the subject.

"The last time I saw him Mary had just returned to London. You'd think he'd be happy to see her and the children. Instead he seemed distraught. I'm not sure why. I decided then I had enough of London's melancholy and packed my bags to come back to Sanditon."

"Sounds like you made an excellent choice. Sanditon has a way of calming the soul."

"Is that why you came back to Sanditon?" he asked. I chose not to answer and just let out a sharp breath before clenching my jaw. "I was quite surprised to hear you requested to postpone the wedding to Mrs. Campion. I fear that is why Tom is so stressed. Perhaps you won't go through with it. Perhaps he's going to need to come up with the money himself." He watched me curiously questioning my intentions with his eyes.

"Perhaps I'm not as forgiving as you thought I was," I answered.

He laughed jubilantly and his eyes twinkled with a spot of tears. "My brother took advice from me?" he asked with a surprised tone. "This may be the happiest moment of my life."

I laughed from the contagious laughing that came from my brother. "I'm glad I was able to please."

After a few moments more of laughing, Arthur turned serious again and gave me a foreboding look. "What are we going to do about the money Tom owes Lady Denham? How are you planning to get out of the engagement to Mrs. Campion?"

I turned serious again and looked down, my shoulders dropping in defeat. "I'm still trying to figure that out."

"If there's anything I can do to help," he offered.

I placed my hand on his shoulder and looked at him endearingly. "Don't trouble yourself, brother. This is my mess to figure out." He nodded his head, but I could tell he still seemed concerned. He grabbed another biscuit from the tray and ate it nervously. "I should go," I announced standing and grabbing my hat. Arthur stood too and followed me to the door.

"I'm glad you stopped by. Perhaps next time you come by you can meet my new maid."

I nodded my head and smiled at him from the doorway. "Lady Denham is having a dinner party tonight that I'm required to attend at Lord Babington's request. You should come as well."

"I presume the Heywood sisters will invite Miss Lambe?"

"More than likely."

He smiled. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

~0~

I didn't want to be at this dinner party. I wasn't ready to face Charlotte. I knew she wouldn't want to see me either. Yet here we were being forced in the same room and even if I wanted to tell her I changed my mind she'd never accept me after the way I hurt her. She would think me a cad for what I'd done. I knew Lady Denham was going to ask about the wedding also. She'd want to know where her money was. I'd be put on the spot in front of everyone; in front of Charlotte. I knew I couldn't tell Lady Denham the truth about my postponement, which would ultimately make Charlotte believe I'd actually gone through with the wedding. Yet, if I didn't go, Babington would never forgive me. This would be the wedding all over again. Standing up as best man for him while Charlotte stood next to me as bridesmaid for Esther. How gut wrenching that was and now I'm about to do it all over again.

"Any pineapples at this dinner party?" Crowe asked sitting next to me in the carriage.

"I do hope there's cake," Arthur said from the other seat. "My new maid created a scrumptious plum cake the other day."

I ignored the both of them and watched the rain come pouring down out the window of the carriage. It had begun raining that afternoon, which caused a rift at the building site. Some of the men wanted to continue, while others thought they should stop for the day. Ultimately choosing to stop for the day won out as most of the men ended up at the hotel for a drink.

"What is that?" I said curiously when I saw an object moving in the dark up the road. Both Crowe and Arthur leaned over my shoulder to get a better look at what I was referring to.

"It looks like someone running," Arthur said.

"I daresay it looks like Miss Heywood," Crowe laughed. "Good God! Has no one taught her any sense? Running through the rain; alone, no less." I didn't like him criticizing her and had to hold back from hitting him.

"We should stop and offer her a ride," Arthur suggested.

"You're going to invite that soaking wet creature into the carriage? Are you mad?" Crowe asked.

"Don't be ridiculous! Of course, we are," I said angrily. Crowe groaned and took a flask of alcohol out from his waistcoat and downed half the bottle. I rolled my eyes at his crudeness and yelled up to the driver to stop. As we came upon her, the carriage stopped and I jumped out. Charlotte stood in front of me looking timid and small drenched in rain. I too now became soaked.

"Allow us to give you a ride," I offered.

She didn't speak at first. All she could do is stare at me with wide, frightful eyes. I didn't like the way she looked at me like I was a ghost.

"Charlotte."

"I'm quite all right. It's not much further. You don't need to trouble yourself," she said.

"You dislike me so much you can't even be in a carriage with me for five minutes?" I asked dropping my head and feeling hurt by her answer.

We stared at each other for quite some time, both of us getting more and more wet. A part of me wanted desperately to wrap her in my arms and cover her from the rain. But the sensible side of me knew I couldn't do such a thing.

"Are you both waiting to be swept away by a flood? Get in the carriage," Crowe ordered.

I put my hand out towards Charlotte hoping she'd take it and allow me to help her into the carriage. She glanced at my extended hand for a moment and then walked past me crawling into the carriage without my help. My mouth hung open in surprise. She couldn't even allow me to help her. A part of me didn't even want to get in the carriage feeling completely slighted by the only girl I even cared about.

There was a crash of thunder and a spark across the sky breaking me from my thoughts. I climbed back into the carriage only to discover Crowe had moved to the seat with Arthur ultimately forcing me to sit next to Charlotte. She sat close to the edge with her arms crossed and stared dismissively out the window. I could feel her entire body shaking from the cold next to me. I removed my own wet jacket and wrapped it around her. At least the inside of the jacket was warm. I didn't wait for her permission.

"You don't have to do that," she said angrily.

"I know," I answered. She glanced up at me with those sad eyes and pulled the coat closer to her skin. I glanced over at my brother and Crowe. Arthur had a knowing grin on his face as if he had finally caught up to what had been transpiring all month between the two of us. Crowe just rolled his eyes and took another drink from his flask.

As we pulled up into the yard in front of Sanditon House, I allowed Crowe and Arthur to get out first before getting out myself and again offering my hand to help Charlotte out. Once again, she refused to take my hand and got out on her own. She handed my jacket back and walked towards the door where Lady Denham, Georgiana, and Alison stood watching our exchange.

"Gracious, child! What happened?" Lady Denham asked as Charlotte walked closer to them.

"I'm fine, Lady Denham," she assured. "It's only a little rain."

Alison wrapped her arm around her and led her into the house looking back at me with a look of contempt. We followed Lady Denham into the house and out of the storm.

"What luck you came upon Miss Heywood when you did. This is a frightful storm," Georgiana said giving me a curious look.

"If it doesn't clear up, we may need to stay here for the night," Arthur said with a giggle.

"Let's hope it clears up then," Lady Denham retorted.

Georgiana headed upstairs to be with Charlotte and Alison. We were led into the drawing room that had an unusual new floor pattern. Babington and Esther were already there sitting comfortably on a chair. They both gave me a confused look as if they weren't sure why I was soaking wet.

"You look like a drowned rat, Mr. Parker," Lady Denham said. "May I ask what happened to cause both you and Miss Heywood to be soaked but your companions look perfectly dry?"

I knew what Lady Denham was getting at. She assumed I had been with Charlotte, more than likely in an improper way. "We came upon her on our drive out here. I had to get out of the carriage to help her in. That is all," I answered.

She hummed and looked me up and down like she didn't believe me.

"I'll go up and check on Charlotte. Perhaps she needs some help," Esther said leaving the room. Charlotte already had Georgiana and Alison. How many women did it take to get one dressed?

"Arthur Parker," Lady Denham said turning her attention on him. "I heard you were back in Sanditon. Planning to stay this time?"

"I believe I might, Lady Denham," he said happily.

"Just what we need. Another Parker brother here in Sanditon," she said with contempt in her tone. I don't believe she has forgiven my brother since his horrible display at the pineapple luncheon. Arthur just laughed it off like he wasn't offended by her words.

"Parker," Babington calmly greeted coming over to where I stood. "This is a new development."

I rolled my eyes and took a drink from a tray downing it in one gulp. "You have no idea," I said dismissively. I walked away and stood in front of a window watching the rain and occasional flash of lightning ignoring everything going on around me.

After what seemed like forever and Lady Denham's complaints of dinner getting cold, the women finally came downstairs. All were dressed in gowns fit for a ball. The only one of them I could look at was Charlotte though. She looked radiant in her wine-colored dress and hair done up. Yet, I almost preferred the free-spirited, drenched in rain Charlotte to this.

Charlotte introduced Alison to Crowe who wanted to be the first in line to meet her. I could overhear him trying to use his charm on Alison like he did with most women. Alison didn't buy it though. I distinctly heard her ask him if he was drunk to which he responded no more than usual. Alison scoffed in disgust and turned her head away from him. I chuckled at their exchange. Alison was much like Charlotte but seemed a little bolder while Charlotte wanted to be kind despite the circumstances. 

I discovered Arthur had already met Miss Alison Heywood while running into Georgiana the other day. I wondered why he never mentioned their meeting. I knew the polite thing to do was introduce myself to the women, but I truly didn't want to be rejected by Charlotte a third time tonight. When everyone began to stare at me standing in the corner like they were waiting, I knew I had no choice but to step forward.

"Miss Heywood," I said with a bow. I kept my shoulders straight and chin up waiting for the blow of rejection. I knew it was going to feel like another punch to the gut.

"Mr. Parker," she said coldly but appropriately. "Allow me to introduce my sister, Alison Heywood."

At least she introduced me. That was an improvement. I bowed towards Alison. "Pleasure to meet you, Miss Heywood."

Alison didn't speak. She did curtsy, but then glared at me. I couldn't blame her.

"Should we eat?" Lady Denham asked. Babington offered his arm and led Lady Denham into the dining hall.

I was seated on the other side of the table at the opposite end of Charlotte. I assumed it was deliberate.

We ate in rather quiet conversation. I was sat next to Georgiana thankfully. At least if she didn't want to talk to me, I didn't take it personal.

"Georgiana, it sounds as if you are enjoying your time here in Sanditon now," I began.

"Thanks to your release of my chains, I am," she said.

"That's not fair, Georgiana. I only want to keep you safe."

"I guess I should thank you, even if I still question your motives," she said.

"I told you, I want to make amends for my actions."

"And what actions might those be? The ones that happened in Antigua? The ones that happened in London? Or the ones that happened here in Sanditon?"

"All if I can help it," I answered.

"Tell us about the development in town, Miss Heywood? How are the buildings coming along?" Lady Denham asked of Charlotte. All eyes were on her.

"Well, Lady Denham," she answered. "We have gotten a lot done and everything should be in order by the time the Prince Regent and Lady Worcester arrive."

"And what of this storm? Is this going to delay our projects?"

"I truly hope not. If the laborers want to be paid they will need to work, rain or shine."

"Good to hear," Lady Denham said.

There was a moment of silence until she started up with her interrogations again.

"I'm surprised to see you back in Sanditon so soon, Mr. Parker. Where might your new bride be? It's only been, what, a day since the wedding?" Lady Denham turned to me bringing up exactly what I had dreaded.

My shoulders tensed. I heard Crowe snort then cough as if he was stifling a laugh. I glanced over the table and gave him a stern look to keep his mouth shut. I looked up at Lady Denham and smiled, trying to hide my discomfort. "I imagine she is perfectly comfortable in London."

She hummed in response and stared dubiously at me. "And what of my money?"

"You'll have it soon, Lady Denham. These things do take time," I answered.

"As long as I get it."

"As you will," I promised. She hummed again as if she didn't believe me. For a moment all was quiet again other than the clanking of forks and knives against the plates.

"Miss Charlotte," Lady Denham began turning her attention back on Charlotte. Why must she insist on attacking Charlotte at every party she hosts? "Since I already know your opinion on marriage, what's your opinion on children?"

I glanced down the table towards her wishing so badly I could rescue her.

"What kind of opinion are you requesting?" she began. "Do you wish to know if I want a family or do I wish to have lots of children like my own parents?"

"Both, I suppose."

"Then the answer is yes to both questions." I didn't care for her answer. I didn't want to imagine her having children with anyone unless it was me. She'd be a wonderful and attentive mother, but I wanted that with her.

"Surely you don't wish to have as many children as your own parents?"

"Why wouldn't I?" she retorted.

"That would be quite the undertaking, don't you think?"

"If my mother and father can manage, I don't see any reason why I couldn't," Charlotte argued. I smiled at her boldness.

"What about you, Mr. Parker," she said turning towards me again. "Are you and your new bride planning to have any children?" I didn't want to think of having anything with Eliza. She would not be a good mother. She didn't care for children and found them dirty and irritating. When discussing our potential wedding, she didn't even want my nieces and nephews at the reception let alone the ceremony.

"It hasn't been discussed," I answered honestly. Perhaps the only honest thing that had come out of my mouth all night.

"And what about you, Alison? Since you share your opinion on marriage with your sister do you share her opinion on children as well?"

"Absolutely, I do," she answered. "I've always wanted a big family. I loved having lots of siblings. Why wouldn't I want that in return?"

"Let's hope they are all boys. We don't need more Heywood women who like to speak their minds," Crowe said rather rudely.

Alison glared at him before saying more. "At least we won't have to worry about any Crowe children trying to persuade our boys to carouse with them. I can't imagine a woman alive who would want to procreate with a drunkard like you."

I liked Alison. I smiled and had to stifle a laugh. For a moment you could have heard a pin drop. Until my brother Arthur burst into fits of laughter. Georgiana joined in his joyous display as did Babington. I even saw Charlotte smile for a moment. Alison and Crowe just glared across the table at each other.

"It's like eating with a bunch of children around here," Lady Denham said angrily. "All of you speaking your minds and disgracing each other. What has the world come to? I have a mind to kick you all out into the storm."

"I apologize, Lady Denham," Alison said. "I apologize to you too, Mr. Crowe. I shouldn't have spoken out of turn."

"I suppose I should apologize for my rudeness as well," Crowe said. I was sure saying that was hard for him.

"With the conversation on children," Esther began. Babington placed his hand on hers giving her a squeeze. I knew what was coming. I wondered if anyone else in the room knew what they were about to say.

"What is it, child?" Lady Denham said encouraging her on. A look at Lady Denham's face made me believe she didn't know, but suspected. Perhaps that's why she brought up the questions about children.

I glanced from one person to the next and not one of them showed signs of knowing. Other than Charlotte. I had convinced myself by facial expression alone that Charlotte knew.

"It's still early, but we found out we are expecting," Esther said. Babington placed a protective arm around her waist and smiled at her. Shouts of congratulations came from around the table. No one seemed more thrilled than Lady Denham. Esther and Babington looked absolutely elated. I couldn't help but think this could have been Charlotte and I announcing our own pregnancy if things had been different.

"When will the babe be here?" Lady Denham asked.

"Early next summer if all goes well," Esther answered. "My dear husband has been doting on me excessively lately. I'm sure I'll be lying-in for the gestation of my pregnancy."

"Have you thought of any names?" Georgiana asked.

"If it's a boy he will be named after me, of course," Babington said. "If it's a girl, I'm not sure what we will call her."

"We've already decided on Godparents though, which is part of the reason we wanted all of you here," Esther announced. "Sidney Parker and Charlotte Heywood, would you do us the great honor of being our child's Godparents?"

I glanced over at Charlotte and our eyes met. There was so much said in just that glance. I could read every expression, every unspoken word in her eyes alone. "I'd be honored," I answered standing and reaching across to pat Babington on the back.

"Of course, I will," Charlotte happily answered standing to give Esther a hug.

"What news," Arthur celebrated. "It's wonderful to see such love between two people come together in a precious child."

I patted Arthur on the back and sort of gave him a warning look to stop speaking until he said something he'd regret. My brother could be unexpected at times.

After dinner we all gathered in the drawing room. I watched as Charlotte found a book and sat in the same corner I stood earlier and began to read, blocking out anything going on around her. I stood nearby staring at the rain that continued to pour down. Alison began to play a song on the piano while everyone listened on and talked among themselves. Most of the attention was on Esther and the new baby on the way.

"Miss Heywood," I began in a quiet tone. I hadn't really thought out what I was going to say to her. All I knew was I needed to hear her voice. I needed to know if she was still upset with me. "I wanted to thank you for looking after Georgiana these last few weeks. She seems to be in much better spirits."

"Don't thank me. Most of that is thanks to Alison," she answered, barely looking at me. "I've been far too busy to visit with Georgiana, regrettably. Thankfully she has become quite close to Alison."

I glanced over at Alison who continued to glare at me over the top of the piano. "Yes, well, I shall give her my thanks as well."

She went back to reading her book even though I stood there unmoved before her. "And how are the building efforts going? Everyone in town seems excited to welcome the Prince Regent."

She looked back up from her book and gave me an annoyed look. "Everything is going as planned. Thanks to Tom's efforts in London we've had the laborers and wages to pay them."

"Tom?" I asked surprised she thought it was him. "Did Tom tell you he sent them?"

"Not exactly as I haven't heard from him. But Mr. Robinson informed me they were sent from London at Mr. Parker's request."

I was intrigued to know why she thought that the only Mr. Parker who could have possibly solicited the laborers was Tom. She hadn't even considered that it could have been me. Not that I wanted her to know it was me, but just the thought that I wasn't even in her mind anymore brought that familiar pain.

I had to change the subject. "And what do you think of the new stonemason?" I wanted to know if she felt safe with him. If she was uneasy at all around him, I'd fire him on the spot and find a new one.

"He does well enough," she answered. It wasn't exactly the answer I was hoping for.

"He seems like an odd fellow," I said trying to bring out more of an opinion from her.

"Where is your wife?" she asked in a rather hostile tone changing the subject.

I questioned for a moment if I should tell her the truth. Perhaps she wouldn't think so badly of me if she knew my reasoning. But then again, it could get back to Lady Denham. "I haven't the slightest."

Her eyes narrowed as if she was trying to make sense of my answer. Our eyes connected and were unwilling to break. In the only way possible, I wanted her to read the expression in my eyes and know just how much I still loved her. I was lost completely in her eyes as I felt she was in mine. If we were alone, I so desperately wanted to reach out and take her hands in mine. To tell her how sorry I was for hurting her. To promise her the world and make her believe I would never hurt her again. But that couldn't be.

There was a commotion across the room that broke us. The piano stopped playing and Alison stood face to face with Crowe. She looked as if she was ready to slap him. Crowe looked amused.

I bolted across the room and pulled Crowe away before either of them did something foolish.

"What's the meaning of this?" Lady Denham asked in an angry tone. I turned around towards Alison who was now being comforted by Charlotte.

"Perhaps we should leave," I suggested.

Crowe laughed and said something incoherent. Babington came over and helped me get him out to the carriage. He had made an utter fool of himself in front of Lady Denham. I highly doubted he'd be invited to any other parties she hosted.

It was still raining, so I requested that Georgiana stay the night with Lady Denham at Georgiana's fervent disapproval. I assured her it was only for one night and I'd be back in the morning to collect her. Arthur and I boarded the carriage after giving our thanks to Lady Denham and saying our goodbyes. Charlotte didn't even come to the doorway. I glanced around the crowd of people at the door and saw her back in that corner reading. I so desperately wanted to go to her. But I couldn't.

"What exactly did you say to make Alison so upset?" I asked of Crowe once we were on our way back to town.

"All I said is I liked her playing," he said slurring his words. "Or maybe I said something about how she played with me. I don't bloody remember."

"You need to pull yourself together," I demanded.

"Nothing a little drink can't fix," he said taking the flask out of his pocket and taking a drink. I scoffed at him for being such a drunk and had a mind to drop him off on the side of the road and leave him. He ruined my moment with Charlotte.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said at the beginning, this story was originally posted on fanfiction.net, which is why the chapters came so quickly. I can't whip out a chapter quite that quick. This is now caught up to where I am on fanfiction.net and the chapters will come a little slower now. I will do my best to post a couple chapters a week, but my life is so unpredictable with 10 kids, especially right now with all of them home all day. I hope everyone has enjoyed this so far. Thanks so much to those who commented and left their thoughts.


	11. A little rain never hurt anyone

~~Charlotte~~

"Charlotte?" Alison called from the closed door she had already knocked on twice. I had completely broken down after the dinner and didn't wish to see anyone.

I thought back to what it was like when I saw him step out of the carriage. To have him standing before me was like a dream. I couldn't even breathe. Then to have him offer his hand to help me into the carriage. All I wanted to do was touch him, but I knew if I did, I wouldn't be able to hold it together. It was hard enough just standing in front of him to keep my composure. Then when he wrapped his coat around my shoulders, I thought I was going to burst into flames. I didn't need it. I was warm enough just being in his presence. But the coat smelled like him and I wanted to savor that smell even if for a moment. Why did he have to do this? Why was he here? Why couldn't he just stay in London and leave me in Sanditon?

When we got to Sanditon House, I knew I had to get away from him as quickly as possible before I lost it. Alison helped me get upstairs without breaking down. I insisted I was fine, even when she knew I wasn't. Georgiana wasn't fooled either. She cursed him for showing up and doing what he did; to play with my heart and make things far worse than they already were.

When Esther came up to help me get ready, she wondered why I looked so upset. I insisted I was only embarrassed by my appearance and felt like I had ruined the dinner. Esther insisted I had not and helped to get me ready so we could all go back down. She didn't know how my heart still belonged to Sidney and how seeing him now completely undid me.

I had a tight grasp of my emotions during the dinner. Of course, Lady Denham almost broke those chains when asking about children. How could it not? In that moment all I thought about was a happy home with lots of children with Sidney.

Then after dinner Sidney had to come talk to me when all I wanted was to be left alone. I wanted to distract myself with reading and forget he was in the same room with me. Forget the pull on my heart to run to him and give myself to him. He had to talk to me though. I knew deep down he was struggling with the same torment I was; to hold all the emotions at bay when at any moment it felt like they were going to spill out for the whole world to see. He needed to be with her now, not me. When he said he didn't have the slightest idea where she was, made me realize he didn't intend to be with her. They may be married, but it wasn't going to be a happy marriage. I wasn't sure why that made my heart break even more for him. He was trapped in a marriage he didn't want. At least I still had the ability to fall in love with someone else, even if the thought seemed impossible at the moment. But Sidney would never be free from her. He was a prisoner.

After he left with Mr. Crowe and Mr. Parker, I excused myself, saying I was tired from the long day and went to my room to release the emotion that had been tightly held at bay. Perhaps I was holding on to a small piece of hope that some miracle would happen, and he'd come back to me. That wasn't possible now. I had to get used to seeing him; being in his presence no matter how hard it was. I had to tighten the rope around my heart and except the way things were. 

Somehow Alison had gotten into the room and crawled onto the bed with me. As much as I didn't want to see anyone, she was a welcome sight. She held me tightly and allowed me to cry until sleep finally found me.

By morning, I had hardened my heart to love and especially to Sidney. I now understood why he left for The West Indies. How I wished it was possible for me to board a ship and disappear into the unknown and start over. I understood why he was so cold to the world. I understood more about love and heartbreak than I ever wished to know. If I couldn't escape him, I had to immerse myself in work as he did while away. Perhaps in ten years, I can move on. Perhaps in ten years he will also move on and learn to be happy with his choice. More than anything I wanted him to be happy. If I never found love again, I wanted him to learn to love her. He loved her once, he can do it again.

I went to the building site early the next morning trying to distract myself from the emotions fighting against each other inside of me.

"Miss Heywood!" Mr. Robinson called out when he saw the carriage pull up at the terrace. Georgiana and Alison had decided to stay at Sanditon House, but I needed to work so I didn't go mad. Lady Denham insisted I take the carriage from now on, no matter what. Even if it wasn't raining, I wasn't allowed to walk. I thought it absurd. I didn't mind the walk. In fact, it helped distract my mind. I did as Lady Denham said, though, as I wasn't about to disagree with her. I got out of the carriage as Mr. Robinson came running over. "The men have decided to take the day off since it's still raining pretty hard."

"What? No, they can't," I yelled. "We'll never finish in time if we don't continue." I walked past Mr. Robinson and headed for the group of men standing under a cover. I was angry and they were going to know just what I thought of them.

The men were all laughing and making plans to go drink later this afternoon. Some had plans to go now even and start their drinking early.

"We must keep working!" I shouted. They all turned and stared at me dubiously. I felt small with all of their eyes on me. "What are you all afraid of? We might get a little wet, but rain never hurt anyone."

Everyone looked around at each other giving doubtful expressions. "It's not that we are afraid of the rain, miss," a man from the group said, speaking for all of them. "It's more about the inability to build anything in the rain."

"There's plenty we can do," I countered. "There's painting that needs done. We can start clearing the burnt and broken wood from the rest of the buildings. We can work on the integrity of the inside of the buildings." I named off just a few things we could do, even though there were plenty of other things we could do also.

"I have a tent set up down by the river. We can make bricks," Mr. Fritz added.

They all glanced around to each other waiting for someone to make a decision. "If I can do it, so can all of you," I said irritatingly. This shouldn't even be up for discussion. I walked over to the pile of broken and burnt wood and started to pick it up and add it to the work wagon. I didn't wait for any of them and I definitely didn't care if I got wet. Thankfully, a few minutes later, Mr. Robinson said something to all of them to change their minds, then he instructed half the men to go with Mr. Fritz to build bricks while the rest of them were put to work painting the inside of the buildings or helping me to remove burnt and broken wood from the other buildings. I was still angry that everyone was so quick to give up, but I wasn't going to let them stop.

Working all day and being angry with the men was very helpful with not thinking about my exchange with Sidney. I barely thought about him all day. At least not until I was back at Sanditon House and saw him for a brief moment collecting Georgiana to take her back into town. I waited in the carriage a little longer than I should have, waiting for Sidney and Georgiana to leave. As soon as their carriage was on its way, I got out of my carriage and went inside.

"Charlotte, is that you?" Alison called out from the drawing room. I was exhausted and wet from the day's work. All I wanted to do was go upstairs and change my clothes then go to sleep, but instead I was being called into the drawing room where Alison and Lady Denham sat. It was as if they were scheming the way they whispered and giggled with each other when I walked in.

"Oh dear," Lady Denham gasped when I walked in and she saw the sight of me. I had forgotten how wet and dirty I was.

"Charlotte, perhaps this work is too much for you," Alison said. "Might I suggest you stay home tomorrow?"

I shook my head. "If I stay home the men won't work. They didn't want to work today either until I forced their hand."

"Miss Heywood, you'll need to take some time off to remedy yourself," Lady Denham said. "We are going to hold a ball."

"Yes, we talked about holding a ball when the Prince Regent arrived," I reminded.

"No, I'm talking about now," she countered. "It's been weeks since Sanditon has had a proper ball. Poor Alison has yet to experience a Sanditon ball. It'll be at the end of the week. Miss Lambe and Alison have convinced me to host it."

"Yes, Lady Denham is forcing me to dance with that horrible Crowe fellow," Alison said with a detested tone to her voice.

"Mr. Crowe?" I asked confused by what they were talking about.

"It's for your own good, Alison," Lady Denham said. "Trust me on this. He's a good dance partner." Alison rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"Are you trying to be matchmaker again, Lady Denham?" I asked with a laugh. Esther had confided in me what she sent and did to try and match her and Lord Babington together. I'm not sure it was much what Lady Denham did, but Lord Babington's persistence that finally won Esther over. I couldn't imagine my sister ever finding anything in common with Mr. Crowe to the point she would want to be matched with him.

"Mr. Crowe is a suitable husband with a fine fortune and position. He'd be suitable for Alison."

"But I don't like him," Alison said.

"What's like have to do with marriage? He can take care of you. That's all that matters," Lady Denham retorted.

"I refuse to marry anyone unless I am in love with them, let alone like them," Alison said.

"You may change your mind if you give him a chance," I said. She looked at me like she couldn't believe I was siding with Lady Denham. "Mr. Crowe is a very nice man from what I know of him. He can be a little bit of a drinker at times, but he isn't always like that."

"I can't believe you are in agreement," Alison said.

"I'm not in agreement, Alison. I'm only suggesting you give him a chance. Even if you don't fall in love with him and never marry him as I assume Lady Denham is hoping for, at least you were kind to him. I don't think you have said one kind thing to him since you met him. Do you blame him for being discourteous towards you?"

She sighed and gave me an annoyed look. "I guess I'll try to be nice. But if he says anything offensive, I will never speak to him again and I refuse to stand by while you two try to match us up."

I gave her an endearing smile. "I'll do my best to take a couple days off before the ball," I said before turning and going to my room. I changed out of the wet clothes and crawled under the covers to fall asleep. Even food didn't entice me when a butler brought up a tray of food later in the night waking me from my slumber. I turned and just went back to sleep.

The next morning, I was met with Alison telling me to stay home and when I insisted I couldn't, she got very angry and decided to come with to see why exactly I had to go in.

When I arrived, the men were already at work. I was quite surprised I didn't have to convince them to work in the rain another day. I was thankful for their willingness to work.

"Why exactly do you need to be here?" Alison asked from the carriage seat when we pulled up to the building site.

"I have to ensure the men are working and not trying to leave for a drink," I explained. The rain had let up a little, but from time to time the rain would start coming down then stop again. I couldn't trust they weren't going to find a way to bail on the work.

"It looks like they are all working hard today," Alison said observing the men as the carriage pulled up.

"There was a very different sight yesterday," I explained.

"Well since it looks like everything is in hand, might I suggest we return to Sanditon House?"

I thought about it for a moment until deciding against it. "I can't. If I don't show up, what kind of precedence am I setting?" I got out of the carriage and looked back at Alison. "Would you mind going to the post office and seeing if a letter has arrived from Lady Susan yet?" Alison nodded her head and instructed the driver to go down the street.

I saw Mr. Fritz stacking bricks for the buildings and went straight over to him.

"Mr. Fritz," I started. He stopped what he was doing and stared at me intently. "I wanted to thank you for yesterday." He gave me a confused look as if he didn't know what I was talking about. "For encouraging the men to continue working. If you hadn't spoken up, I fear I was losing my ground."

"What did you expect?" he laughed.

"I'm afraid I don't know your meaning," I said tilting my head to one side and giving him a confused expression.

"You're a woman. No man is going to listen to your instructions," he said as if it was the most normal thing to say.

I was angry for what he said. "I think I've done a good job so far expressing my wishes and having the men follow through with what I ask," I countered.

"That's only because they are being paid to listen to you," he explained.

"By whom?" I asked.

"I was not given a name of the benefactor. All I know is the men are given bonuses for listening to your instruction," he said.

"Mr. Fritz, time to get back to work," Mr. Robinson said breaking up our conversation.

Mr. Robinson smiled nervously and looked around at the building. "Things are coming along nicely," he said.

"What did Mr. Fritz mean?" I asked. "Why are the men receiving bonuses and who is paying them?" I gave him a very stern look and wanted answers.

He looked down and opened his mouth a few times like he was going to tell me, then thought better of it. "Answer me!"

"Mr. Parker has been paying the wages," he started.

"Tom is paying them? Where did he get the money? And why does he feel the need to pay them bonuses for listening to me?" I asked. I hadn't heard from Tom either after the letter I sent thanking him for sending the laborers. I wasn't aware he was paying the men also. How? Was it because Sidney and Eliza were married now? That had to be the way. It's the only thing that made sense.

"That's not…" he started then stopped sighing heavily. "The men have a hard time taking instruction from a woman and having a woman do the same work as them. I was advised to pay them more if it meant they would listen to you."

My breath was ripped out of my lungs. I was a woman. Why exactly would any of them listen to me? I was so naïve to think I was doing a good job. A part of me wanted to run away and hide in embarrassment. They must all look at me like a fool. Another part of me wanted to show these men what I was made of. To show them a woman could do just as much as them. I decided on the latter. I glared at Mr. Robinson and headed for the pile that still needed to be cleared and started doing it myself. I was not going to let these men put me down and make me feel less than them. I knew I was just as capable as them. I'd prove them wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was able to get a lot of writing done over the weekend at work. Another chapter will be posted tomorrow.


	12. I want more

~~Sidney~~

The morning after the dinner party I went to Crowe's room to see if he was alright. He could barely stand when I saw him last, yet he still continued to drink. I walked into his room and saw him sprawled out on the bed, drooling and snoring loudly. I laughed at him before jabbing him with my cane. He groaned and turned his head the other direction.

"Are you planning to stay in bed all day?" I asked. He just groaned again and pulled a sheet over his head to hide from the sunlight streaming through the window.

"Leave me be," he said.

"I need to collect Miss Lambe today and wondered if you might want to go with me. Perhaps you can apologize to Lady Denham and Miss Heywood while you're there," I suggested.

He rolled over, pulling the sheet away from his face and yawned. "I beg for a few more hours," he said.

I laughed. "I'll come get you later today."

I left the hotel and headed down to the building site. The rain was still coming down hard and I knew it was going to be a rough day for the men. I anticipated they wouldn't want to work. I also assumed Charlotte wouldn't come in because of the storm.

"Mr. Robinson," I greeted. "How are things looking for today?"

"Not good, sir. Most of the men don't want to work in this weather."

"Yes. I assumed that would be the consensus," I said lowering my head. "How much do you think we will have done by the end of the month?"

"I think if the men took a day off, we could still make our deadline," he said. "Miss Heywood doesn't think so. She wants us to work rain or shine. She was not happy yesterday when all the men took off for the pub when the storm happened. The men are having a hard time taking her orders. I've had to repeat what Miss Heywood asks of them just so it comes from me rather than her. She's very smart and capable, but it's hard for the men to have a woman be in charge. She stayed much later than everyone else and left on foot in the rain last night. I almost followed after her, but I was a little drunk." He gave me a sheepish grin like he was embarrassed for drinking.

I remembered how Charlotte looked in the rain when we came upon her heading to the dinner party. If I had known she was working late into the evening alone, I would have done something about it. "Have the men take today off. I imagine Miss Heywood doesn't plan to come in today," I instructed. "Starting tomorrow the men will do as Miss Heywood instructs or they will be fired."

"Mr. Parker!"

"If they wish to work, and want a bonus for listening to a woman, they will do as she says," I ordered sternly.

"A bonus?" he questioned.

I nodded my head and patted him on the back. "A significant bonus."

"Yes, sir. I'll let the men know now."

He wandered off towards the crowd of men and I felt pleased with myself for helping Charlotte out. She was working too hard when she didn't need to.

For most of the day, I spent working. I was still in search of money and investors for Sanditon so I could find a way out of my dilemma with Mrs. Campion. I decided to go abroad and contact a man in the West Indies I had done business with. Perhaps he would have some suggestions or a way to help me out. I also wrote to Mary to see how her conversation with Tom went. I was hoping Tom would understand and continue to search for his own way out of his mess instead of putting it all on me. I hadn't heard from either Tom or Mary and I did have some fears things were not going well between them.

By late afternoon, Crowe had sobered up enough to join me on my trip out to Sanditon House. A part of me looked forward to returning in the hope I'd see Charlotte even if only for the slightest moment.

We were led into the drawing room where Alison was playing at the piano and Georgiana sat next to her. I watched for a moment as the girls giggled and played a song together.

Crowe groaned and rolled his eyes. "It's like needles stabbing out my eyes."

"The piano?" I asked quietly with a smirk. He hummed in response and squeezed his eyes shut while rubbing his temple. "I think that's just the hangover." I patted him on the shoulder and laughed. My eyes searched around the room hoping to find Charlotte, but she was nowhere to be seen. I sighed wondering if she had gone into the building site anyway. I should have gone to check on her. She would have been so disappointed if she got there to discover the men were given the day off, by me of all people.

"Mr. Parker," Lady Denham said walking into the room. Alison and Georgiana suddenly stopped playing and turned around noticing us for the first time. They both stood and curtsied. "Mr. Crowe." Lady Denham said his name with so much contempt in her tone. I'm sure he noticed it. I gave him a jab in the ribs with my elbow to remind him why he was here.

"Lady Denham," he began. "I want to offer my apologies for last night. I'm afraid I had a little too much to drink." I heard Alison scoff loudly. I'm pretty sure everyone in the room heard her, whether that was her intention or not. Crowe turned his attention towards Alison who looked uninterested. "I came to apologize to you too, Miss Heywood." They stared at each other for a moment before Crowe turned his attention back towards Lady Denham.

"Well," Lady Denham began while walking past him and heading towards a seat across the room. "I suppose we will have to accept your apology, Mr. Crowe."

He bowed toward her then bowed towards Alison.

"I have one request, Mr. Crowe," Lady Denham said. "I wish you to be sober at the ball I am planning in town at the end of the week. Alison is going to need a dancing partner."

"Lady Denham!" Alison protested.

"Oh hush, child. You'll need a decent partner to dance with. Crowe is a better partner than a shopkeeper."

"I'd rather dance with one of the laborers from the building site," Alison countered. It was interesting how she and Lady Denham interacted. Would Lady Denham allow anyone else besides Alison to speak to her like this? The only other person I could think of was Charlotte. It was as if Lady D got enjoyment from arguing with them. Perhaps she felt a kinship with them. "I don't care in the least who the partner is, as long as they don't smell of liquor." Georgiana snickered at Alison's remarks.

Crowe laughed. "You won't find a laborer who doesn't reek of liquor. I spent most of the evening drinking with them last night. A lively bunch."

"I'm sure they can stay sober for a night," Alison countered glaring at Crowe.

"Doubt it," he said. "And if they were sober, I don't think they'd want to dance with someone so insolent."

I groaned and dropped my head. This was not going the way I wanted it to go. Crowe needed to keep his mouth shut. "A ball, Lady Denham?" I asked trying to change the subject.

She glanced between Crowe and Alison for a moment before answering my question. She had plans to host a ball in town at the end of the week to brighten everyone's spirits in this dreary weather we had been having. I glanced towards Georgiana to read her expression. Was she excited about the ball? She looked indifferent towards the news.

"I'll spread the news in town, Lady Denham," I said. "Georgiana, if you are ready, I can take you back into town now."

"I'm ready," she said giving Alison a hug before heading towards the door.

As we were leaving, I saw Lady Denham's carriage pulling into the yard and caught the smallest glimpse of Charlotte inside. I took my time entering our carriage in hopes she would get out and I could say hello to her. But she didn't get out. I'd be fooling myself if that wasn't an indication of how she regarded me. I got in the carriage with Crowe and Georgiana and we headed out. Once again, I felt as if my heart had shattered. It was unrepairable.

Georgiana sat next to me with her arms crossed staring out the window. Across from us Crowe had nestled into the corner of the seat and had an angry expression on his face.

"The nerve of that woman!" Crowe said angrily. "I should have never come out here to apologize."

"You were quite rude to Alison last night. Don't you think she deserves an apology?" Georgiana asked.

"How exactly was I rude? I said I liked her playing. Is that not a compliment?" Crowe yelled.

Georgiana scoffed. "That's what you think you said? I assure you, Mr. Crowe, Alison wouldn't have been so upset if that's all you said."

"What did I say then?" he asked as if he didn't believe Georgiana.

"You told her she could play better if she had some liquor in her. Then you said if for a few drinks she'd play you better."

I stared at Crowe almost embarrassed for him but more disappointed in him. "I didn't say any such thing," he denied.

"I assure you, that's exactly what you said."

"Perhaps I just meant she needed to lighten up a little. She's kind of a snob. She isn't anything like her sister."

"Since she doesn't enjoy being in the presence of a drunk that means she's a snob?" Georgiana countered. 

Crowe's face was frustrated and angry. "Driver!" he called out. "Stop the carriage."

"What are you doing, Crowe?" I asked.

"I'd rather walk," he answered.

"In the rain?"

"Anything is better than in here." He got out of the carriage and continued up the path on foot.

There was silence in the carriage once we got going again. Georgiana didn't look happy, whether it was towards Crowe or towards me, I did not know.

"Georgiana, I hope you enjoyed your time at Lady Denham's," I said breaking the silence.

"If you enjoy being a prisoner, I suppose I did," she said angrily.

"You didn't look like a prisoner," I countered.

"Alison was the only tolerable person in that home."

"And what of Charlotte?"

"She's never around," Georgiana explained. "She's always busy working and she's somewhat cold and distant now. She's starting to remind me of you."

The thought of Charlotte becoming cold and distant towards her friends made me hurt. She was, at one time, the light in everyone's lives. I hoped she hadn't lost that spirit about her. I couldn't bear the thought. Had I done that to her?

"If you plan to come to the ball can you please not bring her? Otherwise I will not be attending." Georgiana said.

I knew she was speaking of Mrs. Campion. She would only say 'her' in such a way if she was referring to Eliza. "She won't be there," I assured.

"Did you actually go through with it?" she asked almost in a desperate tone. "I'm sure you did. I know you did. As mad as I am at you and as much as I think sometimes you and Mrs. Campion deserve each other, I didn't want you to go through with it.

I sighed and turned towards the window for a moment to contemplate telling her the truth. I was trying to make amends with her. A part of that was not keeping things from her.

I turned back towards her and straightened my jaw. "No, I did not."

She smiled and for the first time in a long time looked like the excited little girl I had known many years ago. "Lady Susan was right."

"What do you mean?" I asked narrowing my eyes.

"Lady Susan. Charlotte's friend. The one bringing the Prince Regent to Sanditon."

"Yes, I know who Lady Susan Worcester is," I said rolling my eyes. "What did she say?"

"She said she had a feeling there wouldn't be a wedding."

"How would she know that?"

I think she has her ways," Georgiana said. "She said she planted a seed in your mind."

She indeed had. "Did she happen to tell you what that seed was?"

Georgiana shook her head. I contemplated telling her but chose not to at the moment.

"Does this mean your engagement is off? Are you planning to ask Charlotte to marry you?"

"I thought you didn't want me to pursue Charlotte?" I asked thinking back on our conversation at the last ball.

"Yes, but who am I to deny my greatest friend the love of her life?" I smirked. Was I the love of her life? "You know, like you did to me," she reminded with a glare. For a moment I thought we were getting along, then she had to bring up Otis.

"I assume you are still in contact with Mr. Molyneux," I asked.

"Are you going to forbid it?"

"No," I said.

"Why?" she asked as if she were surprised.

"I told you. I'm trying to make amends. Who am I to deny you the love of your life?"

"Does this mean you'll give your consent for us to be married?" she asked excitedly.

"I didn't say that exactly. I do hope there's someone else who comes along and makes you forget about Mr. Molyneux. Someone with more integrity and class. It's what you deserve in a future husband. But for now, if you wish to write him letters while he is away in the Navy, you are welcome to do so."

"Are you joking?" she asked still looking skeptical.

"No, I am not," I said seriously.

"What has changed your mind?" she asked. I gave her a look like she should know the answer to this one. "Charlotte?" I nodded my head.

"Have you told her you're not engaged?"

"No"

"Why ever not? Don't you want to tell Charlotte so you can be together now?"

I sighed and pursed my lips. "The situation with Lady Denham hasn't changed. You heard her at the dinner party. She's still waiting to get her money. At the moment I'm still engaged to Mrs. Campion. I've only asked for a postponement. I'm hoping I can find other means to secure the money for Lady Denham. How I'm going to go about breaking my engagement to Mrs. Campion, I haven't quite figured out. But I need to secure the money first. For now Charlotte can't know. I can't risk Lady Denham finding out."

"Why is it your responsibility to get the money?" she asked. "It's Tom's doing, not yours. Make him pay for it."

"You know I can't do that," I said. "I can't turn my back to my brother."

"Sidney, if you need the money, I can…"

"No. I'm not taking your inheritance, Georgiana."

"It could just be a lone," she offered. "I can wait longer than Lady Denham to be repaid."

I smiled at her offer. It seemed things were getting better between us. "Even if that were possible, your inheritance is secured until you turn twenty-one or until you marry. And at that point, it's set up in yearly allowances. It's how your father wanted it."

"It's my money," she said leaning back against the seat and pouting. "Why would he not just let me have it?"

"He wanted to protect you. He wanted to protect us both."

We were both silent for the rest of the carriage ride into town.

"You will keep my secret, won't you?" I asked of Georgiana once I walked her safely back to her room at Mrs. Griffiths.

"Of course," she said. "I don't like it, but I understand why you're doing it. I still think you should at least tell Charlotte, so she doesn't have to live in misery."

I dropped my head thinking about Charlotte being miserable. Perhaps Georgiana was right. I could trust Charlotte with the truth until I could find another way. But what if I couldn't find another way? I wouldn't dare hurt her a second time. I couldn't possibly ask her to wait for however long it might take until I got out of the engagement. I smiled and nodded my head as if I was taking her advice into consideration and left.

Back at the hotel, I sat at a table having a drink alone when Crowe finally got back. He looked furious and ready to attack. "She is infuriating!" he said angrily grabbing a drink and downing it in one gulp.

"Georgiana?" I asked thinking about their exchange in the carriage.

No, not Georgiana," he spat with frustration. "Miss Heywood. Why in the world would Lady Denham want me to dance with her at the ball? I have a mind not to attend at all. Perhaps I should head back to London at once."

"Perhaps you should," I said with a small chuckle. I knew he wouldn't. As much as he said he didn't like Alison, I got the sense he was intrigued by her. Much like I was intrigued by Charlotte when I first met her. How my life had changed since then.

We stayed in the hotel lobby drinking much of the evening. Crowe could not let his frustration with Alison Heywood go and continually brought her up at every turn. It was rather amusing to watch.

The following morning, I was about to head for the building site to check in when I was stopped in the hotel lobby by the one person I least wished to see.

I sighed heavily and darted my eyes away from her gaze. My fists involuntarily clenched as did my jaw.

"Sidney," Eliza greeted.

"What are you doing here, Eliza?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"Since you don't answer any of my letters, I thought I'd come see you in person and convince you to come back to London for our wedding," she said.

People in the hotel were beginning to stare and watch our exchange. I didn't want to do this in front of prying eyes. "Come with me," I said taking her arm and guiding her up to my room.

She smiled devilishly once we were alone, then had the audacity to place her hands against my chest in an intimate way. I grabbed her hands and placed them back at her sides then walked across the room to get away from her.

"I assume Lady Worcester told you where my fortune came from?" she began. "I'd been trying to wrap my head around why you left and never returned. When I ran into Lady Worcester, she made a comment about how she suspected you would leave when you discovered the truth. Then I put it all together when you left and told me you didn't wish to be enslaved."

"I should have heard it from you," I said.

"What difference does it make where the money came from? It's not as if I enslaved them. We only made a profit off them being sold to someone else enslaving them. My late husband and I were offered a great opportunity and I told him to take it. I wouldn't have the fortune I do now if he hadn't." I was even more disgusted knowing she actually had a hand in it. "You need the money to save your brother, do you not? I am a rich woman and still have more money coming in every day from our business dealings. I'm happy to give it to you in exchange for what I want," she said. My heart was racing from trying so desperately not to say anything I might regret.

"And what exactly is it you want? Me? Or is it your reputation in polite society since clearly that's dwindling? Is it Georgiana you're after to remedy your image?"

"It's you, of course," she said.

"I don't believe you. I think your place in society holds much more value than anything else. If it didn't, you wouldn't have left me for someone else ten years ago. You had me at one time. You chose to have a position in society over me."

"Sidney don't be like this. You know I never gave up on us. Now we have all the money in the world, we have positions in society, we have everything we've ever dreamed of right in front of us for the taking. Now all we need is to solidify our marriage."

I turned around and stared out the window watching the rain come down. I could see Charlotte across the rooftops working in the rain over at the building site. I never noticed before how easy it was to see the building site from my room. She was a good distance away, but I could tell it was her. I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

"I never wanted any of that," I said in a much calmer tone. Watching Charlotte from afar calmed me significantly. "Society, money and position held little interest for me. All I wanted was a happy marriage. A wife who loved me and a wife I loved beyond measure. It's what I still want. All those years ago, I thought if I could just secure the fortune, if I could become someone in society, somehow I could win you back."

"And you did." She walked over to me and in an attempt to touch me, I pulled away.

"Yes, and now that I have it, I don't want it anymore. I'm a different man than I was ten years ago. I want something more. Something real."

I continued to watch Charlotte from afar and saw her stumble trying so hard to do it all. I flinched seeing her stumble. Eliza looked through the window to see what I was looking at. She giggled then turned towards me. "Don't tell me you have feelings for that child? Sidney be serious."

My blood boiled at her calling Charlotte a child. She was nothing of the sort. "Say I did have feelings for Charlotte. Is that what you want in a marriage? A man who's pining for another woman?" I felt bad for a moment. I could see the hurt I had caused her in her expression. "We had our opportunity for a happy marriage. You made the choice to want more. Now it's too late. Now I want more." She began to cry. "I beg you to release me of our engagement."

She wiped her tears and stared at me sternly. "I don't give up so easily, Sidney. Like you said, I want more. I want it all. I will win you back. I'll be damned if I lose you to an insignificant girl like that."

My shoulders dropped in defeat and I sighed heavily. I stared at her with the most pained expression I'd ever had. I was never going to get out of the engagement if Eliza had anything to say about it. In that moment she hurt me far worse than she ever did when she broke our engagement ten years earlier. I grabbed my coat from the back of the chair and left the room while she yelled out my name and ordered me to come back. I left the hotel and walked down the street towards the building site where Charlotte was. I watched for a moment as Charlotte picked up broken bricks and threw them into the back of a wagon then tried to pick up a burnt log far too big for her to lift. But she was determined to do it regardless. Drops of water fell down her face and matted her hair. Her dress and coat were soaked and dirty from the ashes of the charred wood. She worked harder than any man at this site. She was beyond beautiful even in that moment. My heart ached to touch her, to tell her I was free from Eliza. But Eliza would never have it.

She struggled with the log she was trying to drag across the ground. I couldn't bear to watch it any longer. I walked over and took the other end of the log to help her carry it. She turned around staring at me with confusion. "You don't have to help me, Mr. Parker," she said in that determined voice I'd come to admire.

"I know," I answered. "You're more than capable of handling anything you set your mind to. I'm well aware of that. But we are on a deadline, are we not? More hands getting the work done will make the job go quicker." She stared at me questioning my motives for a moment then turned and started walking towards the wagon allowing me to help her. I helped her all day until the job was done. We never said a word to each other, just shared glances of longing from time to time. Or maybe there was only longing from me and she was just confused by my actions.

No other man offered to help her, all staying inside the buildings and doing painting, putting up walls, and putting in windows. They all left Charlotte out in the rain to do the work they should have been doing. I had to assume Charlotte insisted. Of course, she would insist. Of course, she'd carry the load for all.

As much as I wanted to give her space so I didn't hurt her anymore, I couldn't bear being away from her a moment longer. I needed her calming effect on my soul after seeing Eliza. My heart and my mind were at constant battle. This time my heart had won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so hard to write. I wanted to burst into tears while Sidney poured his heart out to Eliza and she just denied him the only thing he wanted out of spite.
> 
> What does everyone think about Crowe and Alison? Everything I read about future thoughts for a second season has her paired up with Stringer. I don't see it. I have plans for Stringer. He will make an appearance later on, but it's not with Alison. Alison will make Crowe work for it though. Crowe will be a better man with Alison as Sidney is with Charlotte and I believe Babington is with Esther.
> 
> Over on Fanfiction.net I asked a few chapters back about Christian name suggestions for Babington and Crowe. I think I've decided on Lord Montgomery Wentworth Reginald Babington and Matthew Theodore Markus Crowe (See what I did there?). What does everyone think? Yes/No


	13. The Cove

~~Charlotte~~

I was caught off guard when Sidney stepped in to help me. But in that moment, I was still angry about what I discovered with the bonuses, that him trying to help me seemed like yet another person telling me I wasn't strong enough. But how could I deny his help when he practically said the opposite of what I thought everyone was thinking of me? Somehow, working with him made it much easier to be around him. The longer I worked alongside him, the more comfortable I became to the point I thought we could still be friends.

When the job was done, we both stood there glancing from the work we had just accomplished and each other. The rain had finally started to let up and the sun was coming out once again. Hopefully it would stop for a while and we could finish the buildings.

"A job well done," he said with a smile.

"Thank you for your kindness, Mr. Parker," I said hoping he would understand that I wasn't only thanking him for the help but for what he said also.

He smiled bashfully and looked to the ground. "No need to thank me. I enjoyed the work."

We were silent for a time as we looked around the building and checked if we had gotten everything.

"Mr. Parker, have you heard from your brother?" I asked breaking the silence.

"I assume you are referring to Tom, and the answer is no. I have been wondering about him as well. He hasn't responded to any of my letters."

I sighed and looked down. I was really hoping to have heard from him by now. I feared he must be dreadfully upset with me.

"Is there anything I may be able to help you with?" he asked kind of bashfully.

I was quiet for a moment, trying to decide what to say. "I was hoping to see the plans he had for Waterloo Terrace. I've stared at the model and the plans so many times, but I can't help but feel like I'm missing something. I just feel like it's not right. Mr. Robinson is doing his best, but he doesn't quite understand building projects like Tom and Mr. Stringer did. If he was still here, I wouldn't have to worry if I was messing something up."

"Perhaps Tom's plans are at Trafalgar House. I could walk you there," he offered. "I always have a spare key to their homes."

I was overjoyed with excitement. "Oh! Mr. Parker, that would be most helpful. Let me go tell Mr. Robinson where I'm going."

"Yes. Of course." He stepped aside and let me walk around him towards Mr. Robinson. After telling Mr. Robinson where I was going, I met Sidney on the street and walked with him to Trafalgar house. We didn't speak. We walked slowly, brushing against each other from time to time. It was awkward, much like our walk along the clifftops before he kissed me. I quickly had to put those thoughts out of my mind otherwise I was going to go mad. I couldn't think of him like that anymore. I had to remind myself he was married now. Deep down I knew he still cared for me, but he made the choice to help his brother and I had to respect him for that. All we could be now is friends.

"I've been worried about Tom's opinion of me. He must think I've betrayed him taking on the building of Sanditon. This was his project," I said trying to break the awkward silence between us.

"I'm sure he doesn't think badly of you," he reassured even if futile. "Why did you take on this task if you thought Tom would disapprove?" He looked over at me so intently and our eyes met that I felt intimidated by his stare.

"Lady Denham insisted," I answered. "She wants to continue investing in Sanditon because she believes in it just as much as Tom does. But she doesn't trust Tom and wanted me to take his place. I didn't want to at first. I begged her not to put me in this position. But then, I thought about all the people that depended on Sanditon being a success. If Lady Denham wasn't willing to work with Tom any longer, I had to do it for him; for your entire family."

"And that's why you sacrifice and work harder than any of those men; for my family?" he asked.

Our eyes met. He looked sad and distant in that moment. I hoped I hadn't offended him. "It's the only reason. I don't stand to gain anything from the success of Sanditon," I assured.

He looked away staring out in front of us then smiled and looked back at me. "Quite the pair we are. Always sacrificing and giving up what we want for the sake of Sanditon," he said. His meaning was not lost on me. We had both sacrificed greatly for the success of Sanditon.

We stopped in front of Trafalgar House and he opened the door with a key. "I'll wait here for you. I wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea," he said. I nodded my head understanding his meaning and walked into the house.

Everything around the house was the same as when I left, just a little gloomier now. I felt like I was trespassing and felt very uneasy about being in Tom's office. I walked over to the model and looked down upon it like I had so many times before. I admired the architecture and the craftsmanship. I wanted nothing more than to make this town a success for everyone who lived here.

I turned away from the model and started filing through the papers stacked on Tom's desk. I hoped I'd find his plans, but perhaps he took them to London with him.

I lost track of time and was lost in my own thoughts, that I hadn't realized how long I was in the office. It was getting darker in the room from the sun setting and I had to really strain my eyes to see what I was looking for. I searched endlessly for the plans but came up empty handed. The only thing I could find was Tom's book of plans that he mentioned he borrowed from to create the look of Sanditon. This would have to do for now. Perhaps Tom had bookmarked pages or wrote notes in the book.

I walked back to the model and stared at it again. My hand reached out and gently touched the rooftops of the houses. I loved Sanditon the way Tom envisioned it, but some things needed to be changed to make it more cost effective. I just needed to figure out what.

I took one last look and headed for the door where Sidney still waited outside. "You didn't have to wait for me," I said. "I was in there a lot longer than I thought I would be. I would have locked up when I left."

"I didn't mind the wait." He smiled and ducked his head nervously. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Not exactly. Tom must have his plans with him. I was able to find a book on plans, though. Perhaps I can find some help by reading it."

"I'm sure you will," he said.

We began walking back towards the building site again with the awkward silence. "Might I walk you back to Sanditon House?" he asked. "I wouldn't want you walking alone in the dark."

I smiled and looked away thinking that if the situations were any different, I'd take him up on his offer instantly. But it wasn't possible any longer. "I have Lady Denham's carriage waiting for me."

"Yes. Of course, you do. Forgive me for assuming you'd be walking alone," he said looking ashamed.

"It's quite alright. I personally would prefer the walk. But Lady Denham insists I take the carriage from now on."

We stopped at the building site and turned towards each other. I could see the carriage waiting on the other side of the street. I knew I needed to leave and go to the carriage, but my feet wouldn't move from their cemented spot in front of Sidney. We glanced from one another, then to the building, then back at one another many times.

"I might come back in the morning to see if you need any more help," he offered.

"You don't have to. I'm sure we can manage," I said then thought better of it and realized I probably said the wrong thing. "Not that I'm refusing your help. You have every right to be here given your own investment into Sanditon. Who am I to deny you access to the buildings? I just mean if you have other important matters to deal with you don't have to trouble yourself here."

He smiled and shook his head like he was amused. "I will see you in the morning." He turned and walked away, leaving me feeling confounded. What was I doing? As much as I enjoyed his company, I knew what we were doing was wrong. I couldn't spend time with a married man.

I boarded the carriage and headed home with my head full of thoughts. There was a pull on my heart to be close to Sidney. The reckless side of me wanted to spend as much time with him as possible no matter the consequences or how wrong it might be. But the sensible side was telling me to close my heart off and stay clear from him to not damage my reputation.

Back at home I stayed up most of the night going over the plans book, but no matter how hard I tried to concentrate on the book, my thoughts always went back to Sidney. I couldn't help it.

After a restless night, I left even before the sun was up and walked down by the cove to try and read there before going to the building site. I sat on a large rock and got comfortable. The sun was just beginning to come up illuminating the world around me and making it much easier to see the pictures and read the fine print in the book. The rain had thankfully let up and there was just a slight breeze. I enjoyed the sting the cool air caused against my cheeks; it reminded me of the cold sea water.

"No sea bathing this morning?" Sidney's familiar voice said from behind me. I startled and almost fell off the rock when I heard his voice. I turned around and looked at the large grin on his face. That smile I hadn't seen in quite some time.

"There isn't a bathing machine running this time of year," I answered.

He chuckled and looked at the ground before looking up at me. "That never seemed to stop you before," he said. My face burned and my heart raced from what he was implying. Did he see me? My mouth hung open. I couldn't speak and all I could do was stare at him.

"Relax, I didn't see anything," he said. I knew he was lying. "Well much, anyway."

"I suppose we're even now," I said trying to make light of the situation.

He laughed again. "That's precisely what I thought. Although I do think you got more of an eyeful than I did." He laughed again and took a couple steps closer. I looked away and stared out at the ocean feeling embarrassed.

"Should I leave?" I asked nervously unwilling to look at him. "Were you planning to go for a swim?"

He chuckled again even closer to me now than he was before. "No. You don't have to leave. It's a little cold for sea bathing today, anyway. Do you wish me to leave?"

I turned my head to face him. "You don't have to leave," I said. He smiled bashfully and bowed his head before sitting down on a rock across from me.

I glanced over at him and watched as he stared out at the ocean. "I like to come here to think when I'm struggling with something," he said.

"What are you struggling with?" I asked.

He glanced back at me and smiled. "Money, I suppose."

"I'd think your money troubles would be over by now," I said thinking about how he probably had possession of Eliza's fortune. Perhaps he was struggling with how to spend it wisely instead of handing it all over to Tom.

"If it was only that easy."

"You are the sensible brother. I'm sure you'll figure it out," I offered.

He stared out towards the water looking lost in thought. "The sensible brother wouldn't have gotten himself involved."

He seemed upset by my comment. I turned away and bit my lip thinking how I said something offensive towards him.

"Find what you were looking for in that book?" he asked turning his attention back to me.

I glanced down at the book in my lap, almost forgetting about it entirely. "Oh… um... not yet," I said.

"You are the sensible sister. I'm sure you'll figure it out," he teased causing me to smile. He chuckled in return and our eyes connected for a moment.

"What do you think of my sister?" I asked curious of his thoughts.

He thought for a moment before answering. "She seems much like you; headstrong, opinionated, strong sense of what she wants." He paused for a moment before continuing. "But she's not quite as kind, while you are kind hearted to a fault it seems."

"I'm kind hearted to a fault?" I asked curious about his meaning.

He stared out at the water and his eyes narrowed. "Even when people are hurtful towards you, somehow you still seem to find the best parts of them." I understood his meaning. Even though he had hurt me in multiple ways during the time we'd known each other, I still couldn't think badly of him. I knew he was still a good person.

"I was just telling my sister she should be kinder to Mr. Crowe," I said. "I do believe Lady Denham is trying to set her up with him."

He chuckled. "I made that observation as well. I'm not sure it'll work in Lady Denham's favor. It's going to take a lot to break Crowe from his bachelor ways."

"It'll take a lot to change my sister's opinion of him also."

We were both quiet again staring out at the ocean and lost in thought.

"I'm slightly upset with Tom," I admitted after a few moments.

"Yesterday you were worried he was upset with you and now you're upset with him?" he questioned.

"I didn't want to say anything last night. I wasn't quite sure how you would respond."

"What are you upset with him about?" he asked turning towards me and looking confused.

"Mr. Fritz mentioned something about a bonus for the laborers. Mr. Robinson said Tom offered them a bonus in their pay if they indulged me by letting me tell them what to do. Did you know anything about it?" I asked, then went on with my uncontrollable thoughts spilling out. "I know I'm a woman and no man would want to listen to what a woman has to say about a subject she shouldn't know anything about, but I know a great deal more about this building project than all those men put together. Why on earth would they need to be paid a bonus just to listen to reason?"

He listened intently then turned away staring back out at the water. He sighed heavily before answering as if he was giving himself time to choose his words carefully. "Perhaps he's only trying to protect you. Perhaps he knows men are stubborn and don't ever listen to reason. If they need to be bribed in order to give you the opportunity to prove them wrong, it's what he's willing to do. I assure you; he meant no harm and definitely didn't intend for you to feel slighted by his actions. He has all the faith that you know what you are doing and are more intelligent than all those men. No man should ever doubt your abilities."

I wasn't quite sure what to say. Perhaps he was right and I was judging Tom poorly. If only I had received a letter from him to reassure me, he thought I was doing right by Sanditon. I looked away shyly and didn't say anything more, even though I wanted to.

"I imagine you must be looking forward to the ball Lady Denham is hosting tomorrow night," he said kind of withdrawn and changing the subject.

"Not exactly," I answered truthfully.

He gave me a confused look. "I thought you loved to dance?"

"I did. Not so much anymore."

"What changed your opinion?" he asked.

I didn't answer. Instead I stared out at the waves crashing against the beach. I couldn't tell him he was the reason I didn't enjoy dances anymore.

I got the sense we were both holding a lot of thoughts in. Neither of us said another word and sat quietly, me reading the plans book and Sidney lost in thought while staring out at the water. At least being near him was getting easier with time. I had wrapped up my heart so tightly that I imagined no one, not even Sidney himself, would ever be able to unravel it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I'm really struggling with the next chapter. I think I've started it then deleted it and started again at least 3 times. Hopefully I'll find some inspiration and be able to finish it soon. Could just be that the quarantine is getting the best of me.


	14. The Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To fight my writers block, I streamed the entire season 1 yet again and really focused on every word spoken in the show. In episode 4, the least favorite episode as it seems, Lady Denham is talking with Esther and Edward about potential marriage prospects. She tells Esther, "If you could keep that scoul off your face long enough, there's no reason why we shouldn't find you a husband by Michaelmas."
> 
> What's Michaelmas? I had to find out. I'd never heard of it. Turns out it's somewhat of a celebration of the changing season. Also lots of religious superstitions around its meaning. So I decided to bring that into the story.

~~Sidney~~

I hated lying to her. I hoped she would understand someday that paying the laborers the bonus was not an attempt to put her down as a woman, but only a way to assure her position as a strong woman among men. I hoped someday I’d be able to tell her the truth that Tom had nothing to do with it. But I couldn’t right now. 

After leaving Charlotte with her carriage the night before, I headed back to the hotel only to discover Eliza had checked into a room and was waiting for me to return. I didn’t wish to see her, so I left and stayed at Trafalgar House. It was a restless night fighting with myself again on what I did. Should I have stayed away from Charlotte like I had been trying to do no matter how hard, or should I not fight it any longer and give in to what I wanted more than anything? And if I did give in, what was I to do about Eliza? Did I have any grounds to break off the engagement? How could I go about it without looking like a cad? If I did, I wouldn’t be able to marry Charlotte for many years to come, otherwise she would look like a homewrecker. No matter what I did, someone was going to get hurt.

By morning I had conceded that I needed to avoid Charlotte so not to drag her into the middle of a scandal that was about to happen between me and Eliza. I had every intention of talking with Eliza and calling off the wedding for good, regardless of how it would make me look. If Charlotte would ever wait for me, I’d make her a promise to marry her in a few years when the scandal faded away. I had planned to go talk to Lady Denham and ask for her understanding in the situation I was in and beg her to give my family time to repay Tom’s debt in another way. I had become a fairly successful businessman. With a little time, I was sure I could come up with the money needed. I was hoping with Lady Denham’s affection for Charlotte she would give us the opportunity to figure out other means to pay the debt. 

I had it all worked out in my head. That was until I walked down to the cove to get some thinking in and I found Charlotte sitting there. I should have walked away and left her be. I should have reminded myself that if anyone saw us together it would only drag her into a scandal that I so desperately wanted to avoid getting her involved in. But I couldn’t help myself. Once again, my heart won out. My heart was overpowering any sense I had left.

We talked a little, but I could tell she was holding back, as was I. After a few topics left open by both of us, we became silent and sat comfortably across from each other. 

“Charlotte!” someone called from a distance startling both of us. Charlotte quickly turned towards the voice and closed the book. She started to get up from the rock but slipped a little on the wet rock. I instinctively jumped and caught her arm before she fell. I held onto her arm a little longer than I should have and took a step closer to her. How desperate I was to kiss her again. Her eyes darted up towards mine before she looked back down again. Her name was called again, closer this time. “Charlotte, there you are!” I cursed whoever it was calling her name. I let go of her arm and took a step away, giving her the space to walk back up to the cliff. I glanced up and saw Alison staring down at us. She didn’t seem pleased seeing me with Charlotte. I watched as the two of them walked away and wondered if I’d ever have another moment with Charlotte like this morning. Just the two of us, no questioning eyes, no scandal, no Mrs. Campion or Alison standing in the way. I sure hoped so.

Later in the morning, I met her at the building site where Alison now joined her. I very rarely saw Alison at the site. She usually preferred to stay with Lady Denham or to visit with Georgiana. I had no doubt I was the reason for her sudden interest in staying close to Charlotte. It was clear Alison didn’t like me. She didn’t seem to like many people. 

I worked alongside the men during the day, only talking with Mr. Robinson briefly and doing my best to give Charlotte her space. I caught a glimpse of Eliza walking the streets near the building site with a few other ladies she never seemed to be far from when she went somewhere. I tried hard not to give her the satisfaction of even a glance in her direction when it was clear that was what she was looking for. 

By evening, the laborers had left and all that remained was Charlotte and Alison talking with Mr. Robinson. I wondered if I should go join them but decided against it and left. 

I stopped at the post office checking for any mail and was quite surprised to see a letter from Mary. She explained how Tom had left London and she wasn’t sure where he had gone. After they had a discussion about how they needed to find a way to pay the debt themselves and not put it on my shoulders, he left a note saying he was going to do just that. She worried about him and had no idea when or if he’d ever return. She feared he had abandoned them. On top of having Tom’s debt hanging over my head, I now needed to take responsibility for his wife and children. Tom was a lost cause. I scrawled a letter to Mary insisting she and the children return to Sanditon. I explained they would be safer here with me and Arthur to look after them. I asked her to convince Diana to come as well as I definitely didn’t want my sister in London alone. 

As I finished up the letter, Charlotte and Alison walked in. I greeted them with a bow and gestured for them to go ahead of me. They collected their letters and walked out into the street. I walked up to the counter and posted my letter to Mary to be sent then had intentions to go see Arthur to fill him in. Perhaps he already knew what was happening. 

When I walked out, I could hear Charlotte’s stressed voice. I tried not to look in her direction, but I couldn’t help it when I heard her upset. “Bad news?” I asked walking up to them.

“This doesn’t concern you, Mr. Parker,” Alison said, turning Charlotte away from me.

Charlotte turned around anyway. “Lady Susan and The Prince Regent are planning to be here in two weeks. Just in time for Michaelmas. I thought I’d have more time,” she said. 

“I’ll see what I can do to get more workers,” I offered. 

“You don’t have to trouble yourself,” she said. 

“It’s no trouble at all. As a matter of fact, all the people who live in this town are excited with The Prince Regent’s visit. I’m sure they want Sanditon to be appealing for his arrival. It’s time they step up and help.”

Charlotte gave me a pleasant smile. “Thank you, Mr. Parker.”

“Charlotte,” Alison said from beside her. “We may need to rethink our plans.” Charlotte’s attention fell on Alison who held a letter in her hands. “George’s wedding is that same week.”

“What?” Charlotte said grabbing the letter from Alison’s hands. 

Charlotte seemed to be overly distressed by this recent news. “Who, may I ask, is George?”

“He’s our brother,” Alison said irritatingly. “He’s engaged to be married and he just sent word of the date. It’s the same time Lady Susan and The Prince Regent will be here.”

“I see,” I said. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“You’ve done enough,” Alison growled. 

“Thank you for your kindness, Mr. Parker,” Charlotte said much nicer than Alison. “I’m sure we can work it out.” I bowed and left sensing my presence was no longer wanted. 

I went and talked to Arthur who was quite upset with Tom for leaving so unexpectedly. He also thought it best for Mary and the children to come to Sanditon. He made plans for his new maid to go to Trafalgar House in the morning and get it all cleaned up and ready for their return. I had dinner with Arthur and met his new maid, whom he seemed quite fond of. He talked of little more than her cooking and the way she always had everything just right around the small home he rented. I was also able to talk Arthur into helping at the building site first thing Monday morning. I wasn’t quite sure what kind of help he would be, but at least it was another pair of hands. 

When I returned to Trafalgar House, Crowe was standing in the doorway. I gave him a confused expression.

“Wasn’t expecting to see you here,” I said.

“You haven’t returned to the hotel in a couple days. I wondered if it had anything to do with Mrs. Campion being there,” he asked.

“It has everything to do with her being there,” I answered. I opened the door to go inside and gestured for Crowe to come inside. 

“She’s planning to attend the ball tomorrow night, you know,” he said coming in and sitting down on a chair. 

I sighed and took to starting a fire to warm the drafty house. “I probably shouldn’t attend the ball then,” I said.

“In my sober state of mind, I’ve been thinking about what you could do,” he said. I smirked at his comment about being sober. He rolled his eyes knowing what I was thinking. “Anyway, she doesn’t seem to want to give up. But what if we try to get as many men in Sanditon to give her the cold shoulder at the ball? Perhaps even get the women to shun her and not include her in conversation? The last few weeks in London, I’ve seen the great Lady Worcester do it to her a time or two. You know everyone follows what she does, so Eliza’s practically been ran out of London. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s why she’s here now.”

“The ball is tomorrow. How do you propose we convince all the gentlemen of Sanditon to do such a thing?” I asked.

“I’ve already taken the liberty to talk to a few of them. The word will get out. Trust me,” he said kind of smug like.

“And what do we do about Lady Denham?” I asked. “She’s going to expect me to be married. If she sees everyone ignoring Eliza, she’s going to question what’s going on.”

“Leave that to me,” he said with a grin. “I’ll keep Lady D occupied.” I was concerned how exactly he planned to keep her occupied, but I didn’t really have a choice at this point. He had already put the plan into action. 

~0~

I readied myself for the ball and pictured Charlotte from the balls we had attended before. The first ball I was so intrigued by her but tried to deny my feelings entirely. I was such a fool at that first ball, at every ball really. I hoped Crowe’s little plan worked and Eliza would go back to London knowing she wasn’t welcome here in Sanditon. I hoped I would get an opportunity to dance with Charlotte, even if it was wrong.

I met Crowe at the front door of the assembly rooms and walked in with him. We were there before most everyone. I watched the doors intently, hoping to get a glimpse of Charlotte if nothing else. 

“Are you still sober?” I asked with a smirk.

“Just for tonight,” he said. “I have something to prove.”

I patted him on the back for encouragement. “I’m sure you can change her opinion of you.”

“There’s Babbers,” Crowe said. He walked in with Esther on his arm. When he noticed us, he walked over to greet us. Esther looked miserable, no doubt the early pregnancy symptoms. Babington comforted and held her while we talked for a moment. We could all tell Esther wasn’t in the mood to be there. I imagined it would be an early night for Babington if she had anything to say about it. After a few minutes he walked Esther over to a couch and sat down with her.

Georgiana walked in with the Beaufort sisters and Mrs. Griffiths. I excused myself from Crowe and walked over to greet the girls. The Beaufort sisters smiled and giggled profusely. I had to hold back from rolling my eyes. Georgiana didn’t hold back and rolled her eyes and sighed heavily. I took Georgiana’s arm and led her away from them. The room was filling up and music was beginning to play. 

“I imagine you plan to dance with Charlotte tonight?” Georgiana asked.

“I’m not sure she will want to dance with me, but if I’m so lucky, perhaps I will.”

“You still haven’t told her?”

“No. Unfortunately Mrs. Campion will be here tonight.”

“I thought you said you weren’t going to invite her?” she asked almost terrified.

“I didn’t. She showed up a couple days ago and doesn’t plan to leave until I marry her.”

“Why is she so desperate to marry you? Is it just because she doesn’t want to lose to Charlotte?” Georgiana wondered.

“I wonder if it has more to do with her reputation. Crowe informed me Lady Worcester has been giving her the cold shoulder and we all know whatever Lady Worcester does everyone else will follow. She assumes it has to do with her business dealings with the late Mr. Campion. If she can connect herself to me, ultimately connecting herself to you, it’ll somehow make her look like a better person.”

“Because the color of my skin? She’s a horrible person,” Georgiana said. “She better not come near me tonight or I will be making a scene.”

I smiled and thought just how a scene from Georgiana would be. Normally I’d be reprimanding her and forcing her to behave. But tonight, I didn’t care. She had every right to make a scene after what Eliza had put her through right under my nose. “Make a scene all you want,” I encouraged. Georgiana stared at me with confusion before breaking out in a smile.

“Miss Lambe,” Arthur greeted excitedly approaching us. “I’ve been missing my favorite dancing partner. Care to join me?” Georgiana smiled at him and took his hand to be led to the dance floor. I watched the two of them dancing for a moment and thought how Georgiana looked happy when she was with Arthur. He too looked happy. I imagined it wouldn’t be long before Arthur approached me with thoughts of marrying her. He would make her happy and take good care of her. I would be freed from my duty of taking care of her if he was to marry her.

I glanced towards the doorway and saw Lady Denham, Alison, and Charlotte walk in. My eyes fell on Charlotte and no one else. She wore a pale lavender satin dress with great details. Her hair was up with a few wispy curls hanging loose. The sight of her beauty took my breath away. I smiled and instantly headed across the room, not even sure what I would say or do when I got to her. All I knew was I needed to be near her. 

“Lady Denham,” I greeted with a bow. She acknowledged me with a nod. “Miss Heywood. Miss Heywood.” Both girls curtsied as I bowed. 

“Mr. Parker, how is your endeavors coming along with my long-awaited money?” Lady Denham asked, reminding me instantly of my debt and how I shouldn’t be here planning to ask Charlotte to dance with me. 

“It’s coming along just fine,” I lied. “I should have your money to you very soon.”

She hummed in response as if she didn’t believe me, then walked towards a chair where she normally sat during balls. She didn’t have to work the room and make connections. People came to her to be in her good graces. 

“Miss Heywood, would you care to dance?” I asked hopeful for a favorable answer.

“I think I’ll sit this one out, thank you,” she replied with a smile.

I bowed feeling completely wounded by her answer. “Perhaps Miss Alison Heywood would care to dance?” I asked. For a moment I thought if I could get on Alison’s good side, perhaps she wouldn’t be so opposed to me.

“Yes, do dance with Alison,” Lady Denham said. “She’s never been to one of our Sanditon Balls. She needs a good dance partner. Where is that friend of yours, Mr. Crowe?”

“He is around here somewhere,” I answered looking around the room trying to spot him.

“Getting drunk in a corner somewhere?” Alison wondered. I grimaced at her assumption. She was far worse than Charlotte. At least Charlotte’s assumptions had some merit of truth to what she assumed. Alison was downright rude. I gritted my teeth and put my hand out to take hers. I could hear Alison’s sigh of distaste having to dance with me.

I led Alison to the dance floor and bowed as the dance called for it. She placed her hand on top of mine and I placed my hand at her waist as we started the fast-paced dance. She wouldn’t look at me and had an expression of boredom across her face.

“You make it very clear you dislike me,” I said.

Still not looking at my face she answered. “I don’t dislike you, Mr. Parker. I have no feelings at all towards you.”

“Yet you make it a point to show me with your actions just how much I offend you.”

She finally looked at me with an angry expression. “Do I not have a right to dislike you? After what you’ve done to my dear sister?”

“You have every right,” I answered. “My only hope is that someday I can remedy your unpleasant feelings towards me.”

“And how do you suppose to do that?” I asked. “My sister may be more forgiving, but I won’t be.”

“As wrong as it may be to say, I do care deeply for your sister and only want her to be happy,” I said wishing so badly I could say more.

“It would be in your best interest to leave her be. You have moved on with your life, let her move on with hers. Perhaps someone new will come along and help her to forget about you. She deserves to be happy. Don’t you agree, Mr. Parker?”

As much as her words hurt to admit, she was right. Charlotte deserved happiness. I couldn’t stand in her way or ask her to ever wait for me. I smiled at Alison who now looked deeply in my eyes questioning my every expression. “I want Charlotte to find happiness, whoever that may be with. I only hope we can still be friends as we once were.”

“I don’t remember her talking of you in any friendly terms,” she said.

I was getting angrier by the minute. “Perhaps we have a different type of friendship than you are accustomed to?”

“A friendship where you, as a married man, ruin my sister’s reputation?” she countered. I took a deep breath, disliking Alison even more with her honest answers. Why did she have to be so right?

The dance ended and we released, bowing towards each other properly. She glared before walking back towards Lady Denham. Getting on Alison’s good side was going to be harder than I thought. I stood to the side and watched the dancers take the floor once again. I searched the room for Charlotte and saw her sitting with Esther and Babington. Georgiana and Arthur were taking to another dance. I noticed Crowe take his chance across the floor towards Alison. To my surprise, she took his hand with a smile and was led out onto the dance floor. I prayed he had better luck with her than I did.

My eyes fell on Charlotte again who talked and laughed with Esther throughout the night. She only accepted a couple dance offers and spent most of her time with Alison or Lady Denham once Esther and Babbers left for the night. Alison danced with Crowe quite a few times and danced with Arthur a time or two as well a few other men in attendance. My eyes followed Charlotte most of all. 

When I saw Mr. Fritz approach her and ask for a dance, there was an anger inside of me. I didn’t like seeing her with him. I crossed the room to get closer and my arm was grabbed. I looked down at the hand that had grabbed me and knew instantly it was Eliza. I sighed and stopped mid-step.

“There you are, Sidney. I was beginning to think you hadn’t come at all,” she said.

“What can I do for you, Mrs. Campion?” I asked with my eyes still on Charlotte and Mr. Fritz. He wrapped his arm around her a little too tightly for my comfort. Charlotte didn’t look comfortable.

“What do you think of my dress?” Eliza asked. I glanced at her for only a moment. She wore a cream-colored dress with gold trim. It wasn’t anything special in my eyes. I didn’t understand why she would ask such a question.

“I don’t have much of an opinion on women’s fashions,” I answered.

“You must have some thought on it,” she pressed.

“What kind of a compliment are you asking for?” I questioned irritatingly. “Do you want me to say it looks nice? Do you want me to say it’s more fashionable than anyone else’s at this country ball? Or perhaps that no one does fashion better than you?” I paused waiting for her to answer then glanced back at Charlotte who looked rather distressed with Mr. Fritz. “It’s a dress. It’s no better, no worse than anyone else here.”

“It was to be my wedding dress,” she said rather pleased with herself. I glanced at her once more, feeling bad for what I said but was quickly distracted by what was happening across the room with Charlotte. I left Eliza and quickly crossed the room pulling Mr. Fritz away from Charlotte. 

“What’s the meaning of this?” Mr. Fritz asked.

“Charlotte doesn’t look pleased with your advances. I’d advise you to step aside,” I said.

“Mr. Parker, I’m fine,” Charlotte said quietly as to not make a scene like I was.

“You have no right to tell me what to do,” Mr. Fritz said looking me up and down. By now everyone in the room was staring, including Lady Denham. “We were only dancing.”

“You shouldn’t hold a lady so closely,” I spat. “It’s not proper nor is it very gentlemanly. I suggest you leave,” I said.

He scoffed and looked as if he was about to challenge me. Crowe and Arthur appeared at my side. The three of us together convinced him to concede and leave the ball. 

I sighed and turned around to find Charlotte was gone. My eyes searched the room trying to find her, but she was nowhere to be seen. Crowe and Arthur started asking questions about what was happening. They didn’t see what I saw, but still they stood behind me ready to back me up if needed. 

Eliza appeared back at my side. “You’ll never look at me the way you look at her, will you?” she asked with a sadness in her eyes. “I thought with time I could convince you to love me again. Would you ever protect me from an unfavorable dance partner?”

I still searched the room for Charlotte and barely heard what Eliza was saying. “Excuse me,” I said. I rushed around the room and couldn’t find Charlotte anywhere. I had a sickening feeling in my stomach at the thought that she left. Had Mr. Fritz followed her? I rushed outside to find my worst fear. Mr. Fritz was following Charlotte and trying to grab her as she tried to get away from him. 

“Mr. Fritz!” I yelled rushing out of the building towards him. He stopped just long enough for Charlotte to get away from him. I didn’t wait for a moment of second guessing. My fist raised and punched him straight in the face. He fell to the ground and moaned in pain. I kicked him in the stomach and pushed him down again as he started to get up.

“Mr. Parker, stop!” Charlotte yelled. “I’m perfectly fine. You don’t need to do this.”

I stopped with a grunt wanting so badly to hit the disgusting man over and over again. How dare he touch Charlotte.

“Mr. Fritz, I advise you to collect your things and leave Sanditon as soon as possible,” I said through gritted teeth. “Your services are no longer wanted here in Sanditon.”

“You have no right to fire me. Charlotte is the only one who can make that decision,” he shouted holding his side where I kicked him. His nose was bleeding profusely. I desperately wanted to hit him again for speaking Charlotte’s name. He had no right to speak her name on friendly terms.

“When I’m the one paying your wages, I can assure you I have every right to fire you,” I said through a clenched jaw. He glared at me and took a step closer as if he was going to attempt to fight but thought better of it. He groaned and left the street. 

I turned my attention back to Charlotte who was crying. I walked towards her wanting desperately to pull her close to me and protect her. “Are you hurt?” I asked a step away from her. My hand instinctively went out to touch her, but she jerked away and took a step back. 

“You’re paying the laborers?” she asked with confusion on her face? 

“Of course, I’m paying the laborers?” I answered frustratingly. “Why on earth would you think it was Tom?”

“You let me believe it was Tom I should be upset with rather than you for paying them bonuses?” She looked angry and hurt.

“Charlotte, please understand I didn’t pay them to disrespect you. I only paid them to protect you,” I said attempting to explain my reasons. 

“I don’t need your protection, Mr. Parker. I can manage on my own,” she said. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go apologize to Mr. Fritz and beg him not to leave.” She pushed past me and headed down the street.

“No!” I yelled chasing after her and grabbing her arm, which she pulled away. “He is not to set foot on the building site again.” 

“We can’t afford to lose him,” Charlotte cried. “Don’t you understand? He’s the only stonemason we have. We won’t be ready for The Prince Regent if he leaves.”

“The Prince Regent is not worth it if you are put in danger. I won’t have it,” I yelled. 

“We don’t have a choice, Mr. Parker,” she yelled. “You have to apologize and give him his job back.”

“I won’t do any such thing,” I yelled. “Nor will you. I will kill the man if he comes anywhere near you again.”

I hadn’t noticed the crowd of people who had left the ball to see what was happening outside. Charlotte stared angrily at me for a moment before she ran over to Alison who wrapped her in a hug and guided her back into the ball. I sighed, knowing now I had made things far worse than they already were. 

I walked down to the building site and made sure Mr. Fritz had gathered his stuff and left. I didn’t care whether Charlotte didn’t want to fire him. If I ever saw him again, I couldn’t be held responsible for what I might do. I had to figure out a way to make this right. At every turn I was making matters worse for Charlotte. How would she ever accept me after all the times I’d hurt her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know many of you were expecting Charlotte and Sidney to dance at this ball and magically everything would fall into place, but that wouldn't be in their nature would it?
> 
> This chapter was extremely hard to write, which is why it took so long. I feel like the quarantine is getting to me. I've had a migraine for about a week now, which I know is due to stress. Not only do I have to now teach my 10 kids at home for the remainder of the school year, but their dance classes have now gone online and we've had to rearrange our house to accomodate this. It's all entirely overwhelming. 
> 
> As a way to fight through the writers block, I wrote a naughty little chapter that may or may not be a future chapter to this story. Which leads me to the question, does anyone want explicit chapters in the future? It definitely wouldn't be JA approved nor would it ever be on PBS Masterpiece Theatre. Is it even allowed on AO3? I haven't read many stories here, so I have no idea. Anyway, I could just allude to sexual content in the future and that chapter will just be for my own pleasure.


	15. The Ball (Alison)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the cove and ball scene from Alison's POV. I delved a little into Crowe's background. Not a whole lot just yet, but Alison is peeling back his layers. Next chapter will have a little more layers. This is a very long chapter also. I'm not sure why it ended up so long, but I don't think anyone will mind, right?

~~Alison~~

“What were you thinking?” I shouted at Charlotte while walking back to Sanditon House. “Are you really spending time with him.”

“I was only reading a book. That is all.”

“He had his hands on you when I found you. Don’t tell me you were only reading a book.”

“I slipped on the rock. He simply caught me, so I didn’t fall,” she excused. I didn’t believe her.

“Did you plan to meet him there? Was he expecting you? How long have you been secretly meeting with him?” I asked angrily.

“Nothing was planned, Alison. We simply ran into each other by accident.”

“And you thought it a good idea to stay with him?”

“It wasn’t like I could tell him to leave. I can’t be rude to him,” Charlotte yelled back. “Besides, people are different here in Sanditon. Things are more relaxed. People don’t make sudden judgements and gossip just because they see two people sitting near each other.”

“You could have left. Why did you stay?” I asked dreading her answer.

“You know why I stayed. I can’t help it. Despite everything that’s happened, I still love him.”

I sighed and stopped her walking by grabbing her shoulders and turning her towards me. “Charlotte, he’s going to ruin you. You have to remember he’s married now. You have to stop letting him have this power over you. It’s not healthy nor is it in your best interest to get involved in a scandal with a married man. What would mother and father say?”

Her head dropped and her eyes filled with tears. “I know it’s wrong. You are right. I shouldn’t be spending so much time with him. But even though he’s married, I know he still cares about me.”

“Regardless if he still cares about you and you still care about him, you have to look at the bigger picture. He’s a married man. You have to keep your distance.”

She took in a deep breath and raised her head to look at me. A single tear rolled down her cheek. “You’re right. I’ll put an end to it. I promise.”

“It’s going to be hard, but you’ll find someone else someday. Perhaps you can find some good in Mr. Crowe and marry him.”

Charlotte laughed and wiped her face with the back of her hand. I smiled and hugged her tightly before continuing our walk to Sanditon House. 

I went with Charlotte to the building site so as to watch over her and make sure Mr. Parker didn’t cause any more trouble. The building site held little interest for me, but it meant a lot to Charlotte. Hard work never bothered me, so I worked right alongside Charlotte and helped keep distance between her and Mr. Parker. He watched her and glanced her way many times during the day. I could tell Charlotte was doing everything in her power to ignore him, but she was struggling. 

At the end of the day, after everyone else had left, Charlotte needed to talk with Mr. Robinson about some supplies being delivered soon. Lady Denham had placed all decisions in Charlotte’s hands, so she alone took care of all the invoices for supplies, the payments being made, and how exactly things were to be done. I’d never seen her so strong and powerful, especially when it came to telling men what to do. Not one man seemed bothered by her administrative power over them. I found Charlotte impressive to say the least. I never knew she had such an eye for building and architecture. 

“The Welsh slate should be arriving by the end of next week,” she told Mr. Robinson. “When it arrives, we will need most of the men working on the roofs rather than the inside structures. I’m hoping we are all done with the inside of the buildings when it arrives.”

“Yes, Miss. I believe we will,” Mr. Robinson assured. “Everything is coming along very nicely. You should be rather proud of what you’ve accomplished.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Charlotte said laughing off his remark. “It’s all of the workers and you who have taken on most of the challenging work. I’m just here to help out where I can.”

“On the contrary, Miss. I think you are the most important person here. Without you, most of these men would be lost. I know I would. I’m not meant for foreman work. I’m thankful for you steering me in the right direction.”

Charlotte smiled bashfully at his compliment. I knew it was hard for her to take compliments from anyone. She was too modest to think she did anything good for others.

“Charlotte, we should get going before the post office closes for the night,” I reminded. 

“Oh, yes. I almost forgot,” she said. “Thank you for your kind words of encouragement, Mr. Robinson.”

“I only speak the truth, Miss,” he said. In a way I almost wondered if he was flirting with her. He did seem a little nervous while talking to her. 

“We should be going,” she said taking my arm and steering us towards the street. 

“What’s the current situation with Mr. Robinson?” I asked as we walked down the street.

“Whatever do you mean?” she asked.

“He seems smitten with you?”

Charlotte laughed. “No! That’s not possible. We are only on friendly terms. Nothing else.”

“Are you sure he knows that?” I asked. “He seemed to be flirting with you a little.”

“I don’t think that was flirting. We’ve had some ups and downs and he was only offering me a compliment.”

“I feel like it was more,” I said. Charlotte didn’t say anything more and had a pensive look on her face like she was considering what I suggested.

We walked into the post office and ran into Mr. Parker. My anger raised at the sight of him. I was beginning to realize Sanditon wasn’t a large town, however, he always seemed to be wherever Charlotte was. I could only determine it must be on purpose. It couldn’t all be coincidence. 

Charlotte was stressed when she got the long-awaited letter from Lady Susan with details of her arrival in Sanditon with the Prince Regent. It got even worse when Mr. Parker had to interfere and ask what the problem was. As much as I tried to turn Charlotte away from him, she wouldn’t have it. Once again, she let that man have all her power. I did everything I could to let him know he wasn’t welcome and eventually he got the hint and left. 

Charlotte and I talked for a minute trying to figure out what to do about our current predicament. Lady Susan and the Prince Regent planned to arrive on a Thursday and stay through Monday. They expected to see the town, enjoy a ball at the assembly rooms, join in a church service, and enjoy a Michaelmas celebration. Charlotte had so much planning to do to prepare for all of it. I honestly didn’t know how she was going to plan all of that as well as work at the building site. She was going to need some help. Perhaps I could talk Georgiana and maybe even Esther Babington into helping out. On top of all the planning for their arrival, we also got word from out brother George that he and Jane had set a date for their wedding. Charlotte and I would have to go back to Willingden if even for a day. The problem was the wedding was scheduled right in the middle of the visit from the Prince Regent. Charlotte and I wouldn’t be able to leave. 

After talking with Charlotte, we only had one choice. As badly as we felt about it, we had to tell our brother we wouldn’t be able to attend the wedding on the date it was scheduled and begged him to forgive us. If there was any way we could make it work, we would. But we didn’t see any other option. We hoped he’d understand the position we were put in. We sent the letter and hoped he wouldn’t be too upset with us. 

In the carriage back to Sanditon House we discussed plans for the arrival and what all needed to be done. Charlotte looked overly stressed thinking about whether the Terrace would be finished in time. I already suspected she wasn’t getting much sleep, but now with this added stress, I feared she would never sleep. 

Lady Denham was beside herself with the news of the Prince Regent arriving in time for Michaelmas. She took it upon herself to make all the arrangements for the celebration. She asked for her cook to come up and take the menu for the dinner. Roast goose, glazed carrots, boiled potatoes, and blackberry cobbler were just some of the items on the menu. Her cook looked excited to be chosen for such an important dinner party. 

“How will the Terrace look when they arrive?” Lady Denham asked. 

“It’ll be tight, but I think if Mr. Parker can secure some local men to help, we might be able to get it all done,” Charlotte answered.

“Tom Parker is back in town?” she asked.

“Not Tom,” Charlotte said in a sad tone I was sure wasn’t missed by Lady Denham. “Mr. Sidney Parker is still in town and has been helping at the building site. He offered to ask around and see if we could get a few more men to help.”

“Mr. Sidney Parker is working at the building site?” Lady Denham said skeptically. “I wonder what’s keeping him here in Sanditon?”

“I believe he is trying hard to rebuild for Tom’s sake; and for yours,” Charlotte said. 

“Yes, well whatever the reason, he still has not repaid my money. By reinvesting now with you in charge, Charlotte, I’m robbing myself of even more of my fortune.”

“I assure you, Lady Denham. I am doing everything I can to only spend where it’s absolutely necessary and we do have insurance on all properties we are working on. I won’t let you down.”

“Yes,” Lady Denham said looking at Charlotte dubiously. “I do believe you’ll do a far better job than Tom in that aspect.”

“I’ll be going into town every day to help Charlotte,” I added. “I hope you don’t mind if I’m not here as much to keep you company, Lady Denham.”

“Nonsense. I’m perfectly well on my own. I’ll come into town from time to time to see how things are coming along.”

~0~

During the night I could hear Charlotte crying again like she did most nights. I felt horrible thinking I was responsible for making her cry again by reprimanding her on her time with Sidney. I quietly walked across the hall and into her room then crawled under the covers with her. She sniffled and tried to wipe her tears away so I couldn’t see. I brushed her hair away from her face and gave her a sympathetic smile. 

“He kissed me,” she blurted.

“Today?” I thought about when I found them together today and how he held her arm. They looked at each other so intimately. Was he really so bold to kiss my sister even though he was married? I hated him even more.

She shook her head. “No! Before he was engaged. Before the fire. Every time I look at him, it’s all I think about.”

“You never told me. You said he planned to ask you to marry him, but you never said there was a kiss. No wonder you are struggling so. I would be losing all sense of stability if I had a man kiss me and then walk away with another woman.” Her eyes welled up with tears again. I wasn’t doing a good job of making her feel better.

“Do you want to go home?” I asked stroking her hair.

“No. Why would you ask that?” she said.

“You seem so sad here. I feel like my own selfish desire for an adventure got in the way of what’s best for you. When we decided to come here for Lady Denham, I was sure Mr. Parker would be long gone. Now it seems I was wrong, and he isn’t going away. Perhaps we should go home.”

“I don’t ever plan to go back to Willingden. To visit maybe, but Sanditon is my home now. I admit, at first, I didn’t want to come back. Then when we decided we were coming I was excited to be returning. As soon as we got here, I knew this is where I belong.”

“What about Sidney? He’s going to continue hurting you with his presence alone.”

She sighed and looked away. “I’ll learn to get over him. It’s hard though. I can’t not love him. I understand Georgiana so much better now.”

“What can I do to help?” 

She shook her head and took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “Nothing. I need to do it on my own.”

I stroked Charlotte’s hair repetitively, like mother used to do when we were little, until she fell asleep. Sleep found me shortly after. 

~0~

In the morning, Charlotte had disappeared once again. She had a tendency to leave early in the morning before anyone was awake. I used to not worry much. She was always the first one up back at home and typically had a long walk or read an entire book by the bridge or out in the grass before anyone else was up. Yesterday was the first time I went looking for her. She had been gone a lot longer than usual and I was worried. Now knowing she was with Sidney made me even more concerned. I hopped up and dressed quickly before rushing out the door to go find her. 

I ran across the grass and through the trees yelling out her name with no reply. 

“Alison, quiet!” I heard her voice call out stopping me in my tracks and searching around to find her. She was crouched down on the ground looking out at something in the distance. I caught my breath and slowly walked over to her. 

“What are you doing?” I asked getting down on the ground with her.

She pointed out in the distance. “There’s deer over there. Aren’t they beautiful?” 

I looked at her with a confused expression. “You’ve seen deer before. You’ve even shot deer. What’s so special about these deer?”

“I was told there were deer that roamed the park here, but I’ve never seen them. They look so majestic, don’t they?”

I looked out at the deer and didn’t see exactly what she saw. “Why are you out here? Please don’t tell me you went back down by the water.”

“No,” she said sitting up and dusting off her dress. “I just came out here and sat down by a tree to read.”

“We should get back before Lady Denham wonders where we are.”

She smiled and stood to her feet to walk with me. She seemed distant most of the day, keeping to herself, reading in a corner, even going for more walks. It was the day of the ball, but she didn’t seem interested in going at all. I knew why. As much as I wanted to tell her we wouldn’t go and just stay home, Lady Denham would never allow it. Charlotte put on a brave face and got herself ready. She wore a beautiful lavender dress with fine detail. I helped her with her hair as she did for me. My dress was similar in style to Charlotte’s, but blue with pink rosettes. It was by far the most beautiful dress I’d ever worn; even more than the blue dress I borrowed from Charlotte at the Willingden ball. I was thankful for Lady Denham’s kindness in allowing us to buy dresses so extravagant. 

When we arrived at the ball, I could feel Charlotte’s anxiety. I knew she wasn’t going to have very much fun and I felt guilty if I did. I should have thought about her feelings more before Georgiana and I talked to Lady Denham about holding a ball in town. Charlotte took a deep breath and gripped my arm rather tightly while we walked in behind Lady Denham. 

Of course, Sidney Parker had to be the first person to greet us. It was as if he couldn’t help himself. As if Charlotte had some pull on him as he did for her. They needed to distance themselves before it became apparent to everyone. 

I squeezed Charlotte’s hand when he asked her to dance. Thankfully she refused him, but I wasn’t expecting him to ask me instead. I don’t know what possessed me to accept. Perhaps I wanted to get to the bottom of what was really going on between him and Charlotte.

Dancing with Mr. Parker was awkward. I didn’t care for the man. Why my sister fell for him was beyond me. Now he wished to be her friend? How exactly did he think that would make her feel better about what he did? He was an arrogant man who thought little of Charlotte’s feelings and only his own. My hatred for him only grew. Thankfully after our dance I saw Charlotte sitting with Esther and looking much livelier. She was smiling and seemed happy to be talking to an old friend. I hadn’t gotten a chance to know Esther well, but I was glad she brought out some light in my sister. 

When Mr. Crowe approached, there was an excitement inside of me I wasn’t expecting. He still irritated me, and I didn’t care for his drinking, but there was something about the smile he had on his face that I found appealing. 

“Lady Denham,” he greeted pleasantly.

“Ah. Mr. Crowe, there you are,” Lady Denham said. “I presume you are here to remedy your embarrassing display at my dinner party the other night.”

“Yes, Lady Denham,” he said kind of bashfully like maybe he was embarrassed about his actions. “I did promise Miss Heywood a dance.” He looked towards me with hopeful eyes. I didn’t know what to think of it.

“And I presume you are sober?” Lady Denham asked.

“As sober as I’ve ever been,” he promised her. She smiled, pleased with herself as if she had accomplished some great feat. I rolled my eyes and turned my head.

“Miss Heywood?” he asked offering me his arm. 

I took his arm with a forced smile and followed him to the dance floor. We lined up across from each other then bowed. I took a step to the left while he took a step to his left. Then we lined up across from each other again before taking a step towards each other. He took my hand in his as we spun around with the couple to our right. Then turned and spun the other direction. When we finally came together for the dance, he spoke to me for the first time in the night.

“What is your opinion of the ball tonight? I believe I remember this being your idea.”

“Since this is my first dance of the night, I can’t really say with much authority,” I answered.

“Lady Denham seems rather pleased,” he said. I glanced her way for a moment to see her staring at us with a grin. 

“I believe Lady Denham is a romantic at heart but hides behind her dutiful exterior.”

He laughed and tripped over himself a little. “Lady Denham a romantic? Have you gone mad?”

I looked up at him and narrowed my eyes. “You do realize she’s trying to make a match between us, don’t you?”

“It’s rather obvious,” he agreed. “Not exactly sure why.”

“And why would you say that?” I asked glaring up at him. 

“I’m not interested,” he answered with a grin.

“Nor I,” I answered.

“Yet here you are dancing with me,” he said with a smug look on his face.

“And here you are sober,” I said with the same smug look on my face. We scrutinized each other for the rest of the dance wordlessly. At the end we bowed towards each other and clapped for the musicians. I walked towards the side and was not surprised Mr. Crowe followed me.

“I had to prove to you that I’m not just a drunkard like you accused me of,” he said. I turned around when we were far enough away from the dancers and people standing around. 

“Why were you drunk the night of the dinner party? Lady Denham was very excited about the night and you ruined it.”

“I enjoy the drink, I won’t lie. Sometimes I drink a little more than I should,” he answered dismissively.

“Is there a reason why you drink so much?” I asked. “Charlotte confided that it’s not the first time you have been drunk at an event.

He rolled his eyes like he was irritated with me. I didn’t care. “It’s probably not a story you’d like to hear.”

“I believe I might,” I said.

“It’s not something I share with just anyone,” he said rather angrily.

“Are you afraid?”

He pondered for a moment. “Answer me a question first,” he countered. “Why does it bother you if I drink?”

“Believe me, sir, it doesn’t bother me in the least.”

His eyes narrowed and he cocked his head to one side. “You seem to let it bother you quite a bit,” he countered.

I rolled my eyes and sighed before answering him. “I am not opposed to a drink from time to time, especially in social gatherings. I just don’t believe someone who gets drunk is very happy with their life and drinking helps hide their feelings. I’m curious what you’re trying to hide.”

“Clearly I’m just fine being sober now,” he countered.

“Yes, but for how long?” I asked.

He didn’t respond to my question which led me to believe he didn’t plan to be sober for long. It’s not like I expected him to or even wanted him to, but he did make me feel bad for him that all he thought he could do in life is be a drunkard.

“It’s none of my business,” I said. “I suppose I just feel bad for you.”

“Feel bad for me?” he questioned with a laugh. 

“I sense a sadness from you,” I said. He stared at me with a frightful look on his face. I didn’t want to say anything more. “Like I said, it’s none of my business.” I walked around him and went to visit with Georgiana. 

“What do you think of Mr. Crowe?” she asked as we sat down for a moment hand in hand.

“It’s the first time I’ve seen him sober. I do believe it’s rather hard for him to be without a drink. He hasn’t even had a glass of wine tonight,” I answered.

“You must be joking. He did all that for you?”

I turned towards her and saw the knowing smile on her face. “I don’t think he did it for me. I think he did it just to prove he could.”

“Oh, I beg to differ. He did it for you.”

“You seem quite comfortable with Arthur Parker. Is there a potential love connection between the two of you?” I asked trying to change the subject.

“Certainly not!” she laughed. “Arthur is like a playful big brother. And Sidney is the scolding, reprimanding big brother. Although, he is getting better. The last few days have been much more bearable.”

“You mentioned he was trying to make amends. Seems to me he’s trying to cause more problems,” I said.

“What makes you think so?” she asked.

“I’ve observed him doing some unfavorable activities that have me concerned,” I answered watching him from across the room. His eyes never seemed to leave Charlotte all night. I wondered if she noticed how he watched her. I couldn’t imagine anyone else in the room not noticing.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you should give Sidney an opportunity to prove himself,” Georgiana said. I turned towards her, curious what she meant. Before she could say more she was asked to dance by a man I wasn’t familiar with. 

I sat with Lady Denham for quite a while watching the dancers, watching the people conversate and enjoy themselves. I watched my sister from across the room dancing with a man. I didn’t know him, but she seemed to force a smile while dancing. Not once in the night, did I see her look truly happy. 

“Miss Heywood, would you care to dance again?” Mr. Crowe asked. 

“Of course, she would. Go on, dear,” Lady Denham said pushing me towards him. I took his hand and let him lead me back out to the dance floor. We bowed, then he took my hand in his. We twirled around the dance floor silently at first. 

“You were right,” he said breaking the silence. 

“Was I?” I said not sure what exactly I was right about.

“I don’t have a lot of happiness in my life. There’s a lot of dark secrets I’ve never shared with anyone. I don’t think I’ve gone a day without a drink for most of my life. But the last few days, not only have they been hard, but it’s making think about all the things I’ve missed out on. Things I never wanted before but seem to be thinking quite a bit on. Yet the thought of having anything real seems dreadfully terrifying.”

“What sort of things?” I asked as sympathetically as I could.

He smiled and looked down at his feet for a moment. “A conversation for another time, perhaps.”

“I’d be interested in hearing more, when you’re ready,” I offered. He seemed taken back by my offer. He didn’t say anything more about it though. 

“Answer me something, Mr. Crowe,” I began after the dance was over and we walked to the side of the room. At first, I thought about walking back over by Lady Denham or even finding Charlotte, but something told me I needed to talk with Crowe a little further. “You are good friends with Mr. Sidney Parker. Why is he in Sanditon? Isn’t his wife in London?”

“His wife?” he said like he didn’t know what I was talking about. His head turned towards the door and beautiful lady in a white dress walked in. Many heads turned to look at her.

“Who is that?” I asked admiring her elegance.

“That is Eliza Campion,” Crowe answered sounding annoyed. My head turned towards him with questioning eyes. 

“Campion? Isn’t she a Parker now?”

He turned towards me with wide eyes like he was caught in a lie. 

“Mr. Crowe?” I questioned.

“It’s really none of my business,” he said. I turned to watch her as she walked up to Sidney Parker and began to talk to him. Sidney had his eyes on something else across the room. I couldn’t tell what he was looking at, but I could only imagine it was probably Charlotte. He hadn’t stopped watching her all night. 

I turned my attention back to Mr. Crowe. “Is Charlotte in any danger?”

“Whatever you do tonight, if Eliza tries to talk to you, don’t engage. Walk away if you must,” Mr. Crowe said looking intently into my eyes. The crowd of people around us got more stifling by the second.

“I don’t understand,” I said. 

“Trust me, this will help your sister,” he said.

I looked back over where Sidney and Eliza were, and Sidney was gone. I couldn’t see through the crowd of people where he went, but I could hear a commotion. Mr. Crowe glanced at me for a moment, then grabbed my hand and weaved us through the crowded room until we were closer to where Sidney was. I couldn’t quite make out what was happening, but Charlotte was involved, and she didn’t look happy. I couldn’t tell if she was upset with Sidney or with the Mr. Fritz she was dancing with. 

“What is going on?” I asked standing rather close to Mr. Crowe who still for some reason had a hold of my hand. 

“I’ll be right back,” he said releasing my hand and weaving the rest of the way through the crowd to stand at Sidney’s side. He seemed so strong and determined to stand by his friend and help if needed. I was sort of impressed with his nobility. 

I saw Charlotte run out of the room while Mr. Parker continued to argue with Mr. Fritz. Something dreadful must have happened to cause such a scene. I tried to push past people and get to my sister, but it was impossible. 

I watched from afar as the argument ended and people started to disperse. After a few minutes, Mr. Crowe came back over to me and looked nervous. “Are you going to tell me what’s going?”

He shook his head and looked down. “I think Mr. Fritz was trying to take advantage of your sister. Sidney saw and broke it up.”

My eyes widened and searched the room for my sister. “Where did Charlotte go?” I asked trying my best to see through the crowd to find her. 

We searched the entire room and met again over by Lady Denham who was just as confused by what was happening as we were. "Mr. Crowe, what just happened?” Lady Denham asked.

“I’m not entirely sure. It seems a man was getting a little too close to Charlotte and Mr. Parker stepped in to help her.”

“Mr. Parker stepped in?” she asked surprised.

“Have you seen Charlotte, Lady Denham?” I asked.

“Perhaps she went outside to get some air,” she offered. “This room is rather stifling.”

“We’ll go see if she’s alright,” Mr. Crowe offered and walked me towards the door. 

When we got outside, there was yet another scene with Mr. Parker and Mr. Fritz with Charlotte standing to the side. It seemed more and more people were gathering outside to see what was going on. Mr. Fritz had clearly been hit in the face by Mr. Parker. Charlotte said something to Mr. Parker and both of them looked upset. He grabbed Charlotte’s arm and pulled her back before yelling something about not apologizing. I wanted to get closer to find out what was happening.

When Charlotte came running towards me, I met her halfway and hugged her tightly. She was clearly upset and didn’t want to go back into the party. 

“Why don’t I take the two of you home?” Mr. Crowe offered. “My carriage is right over there. I’ll let Lady Denham know so she can follow in her own carriage.”

I nodded and walked Charlotte towards the carriage he pointed out. 

“Are you alright?” I asked Charlotte once we were inside the carriage. 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said. I didn’t ask her another word. When Mr. Crowe returned, he got in and sat across from us before the carriage started on its way. Mr. Crowe mouthed the words to ask if she was alright. The only thing I could answer with was a shrug. 

When we arrived back at the house, I walked Charlotte up to her room and got her ready for bed. She seemed utterly exhausted. She worried me with how much she worked and how little she slept. She was on a rather reckless path. 

Once I was sure she was asleep, I walked downstairs to find Mr. Crowe was still standing in the drawing room. I smiled and thought how nice it was of him to wait and make sure Charlotte and I were safe. He stood when I entered the room and held his hat in his hand nervously.

“Is she alright?” he asked. 

“I hope so,” I replied. “You didn’t have to wait, you know. I’m sure you’d rather get back to the party.”

He shrugged his shoulders looking down bashfully before taking a step towards me. “It was kind of a dull party, anyway.”

“I had fun,” I admitted.

He smiled and his eyes sort of lightened. “Good.”

“Do you think you could tell me what’s going on now?” I asked.

He looked at me intently and his mouth hung open. “You might want to sit down.”

I stared skeptically at him but walked across the room and sat down. 

“Sidney didn’t marry Eliza,” he blurted. 

“What? But why?”

“I’m sure you can figure it out,” he said with a knowing look.

“Charlotte.”

“I can’t believe I’m telling you all this. Sidney is going to have my head,” he said rubbing his face and running his hands through his hair.

“Whatever for? Why doesn’t he tell her himself?”

“Because Lady Denham still demands Tom’s debt be paid, and right now Tom has disappeared. Sidney has put his entire family’s future on his shoulders. Until he can find a way to pay the debt, he still can’t rid himself of Eliza completely. Plus, she won’t let him. She’s practically demanding he marry her regardless if he loves another.”

“So that’s why he can’t seem to leave Charlotte alone; he still loves her.”

“Until he can make her a promise of marriage and actually be able to uphold that promise, he won’t tell her.”

I let out a defeated sigh. “My poor sister.”

“You can’t tell anyone about this,” he demanded. “I promised Sidney I wouldn’t say anything until he could figure it out on his own. I’m still not even sure why I told you.”

“Isn’t there anything we can do to help?” I asked.

“Do you have a fortune connected to your name?” he asked.

I laughed. “No.”

“Then there isn’t much we can do. If there was a way Babington or I could help we would, but unfortunately our fortunes are tied up in properties and yearly allowances. Eighty thousand pounds is a lot to come by.”

“Eighty thousand!” I shouted. “How on earth is he going to come up with that much money?”

“He’s determined to find a way that doesn’t involve marrying Eliza so he can be with Charlotte. I don’t know how he’s going to accomplish it.”

I disliked Sidney Parker a little less than before. I had my doubts of his ability to make my sister happy, but knowing all he was doing for her made me admire him a little. 

“I should probably go before Lady Denham gets back,” Mr. Crowe said standing to his feet and putting his hat back on. 

I followed him towards the door. “Mr. Crowe,” I called before he walked out the front door. “Thank you for confiding in me. I won’t say anything to anyone.”

He smiled and nodded his head before walking out and boarding his carriage. 

I walked back upstairs and checked on Charlotte who was still fast asleep. I desperately wanted to tell her all I knew. She would be so happy to know she still had a chance at happiness. But for now, I was determined to find a way to help Sidney Parker accomplish his impossible task.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It sounds like the consensus is to include the explicit scenes eventually. Just so everyone is aware, it was a chapter I wrote just because I needed something less depressing to write about. It's definitely a chapter that could be included later AFTER the happily ever after wedding. So I think what I've decided is to write this story up to the point where the HEA is. At that point the story could potentially be finished. But, if anyone wants to continue to read more of their life, their marriage, their children then it'll be an option but those chapters may be a little more spicy.
> 
> I love hearing from all of you and I'm trying to do better at responding to comments.


	16. Throwing a Punch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long. It's extra long with both Sidney and Charlotte POV's. Hopefully that'll make up for it.
> 
> Is everyone surviving out there?

~~Sidney~~

After I was sure Mr. Fritz had left, I walked back to the ball to ensure Charlotte was alright. I had no intentions of approaching her, I just wanted to see from afar that she wasn’t in any distress. I continually hurt her with my presence. I had decided to go back to avoiding her, despite the circumstances. Unfortunately, when I got back, I learned Mr. Crowe had already taken Charlotte and Alison home. I made a plan to track down Crowe and ask him if she was alright.

When I walked down to the hotel to wait for Crowe to return, Eliza was there. I rolled my eyes and turned around to walk away.

“Sidney,” she called out into the night. I attempted to keep walking, but somehow, she caught up to me and grabbed my arm. “Stop running away from me!”

I stopped with a sigh. I refused to look at her and made it very clear I was not in the mood to talk to her.

“You do realize what I can do to that girl if you keep up these silly games, don’t you?”

My body filled with anger and for the first time I looked at her face. “Actually, I don’t think you have any power to do anything of the sort. I’m not so naïve to see what’s really happening in front of me. I have it on good authority that you’ve been ran out of London. Your reputation is tainted. You don’t have any power left. All you have is money and you think by threatening me and dangling that fortune in front of me, you’ll somehow be able to buy a new reputation.”

“Don’t be silly, Sidney,” she said with a nervous giggle. “I don’t want anything to do with London society. Think about what we could have right here in Sanditon? Lady Denham is older and already had one near death experience. Once she’s gone, you and I could be the most powerful couple here in Sanditon.” She stepped closer to me and tried to look seductive. “If we’re married and we spend the fortune I have to save Sanditon, and with your connections, you could potentially be given a title. We would have it all; a title and the fortune. We’d have more power than we know what to do with.”

“Is that what you’re after? Power?” I asked.

“I’m not after anything,” she retracted. She looked down for a moment thinking about her words carefully. “I just want us to be successful, even if it’s here in Sanditon.”

“Since when do you care about Sanditon?” I asked. She didn’t respond. I was sure it had something to do with not being accepted in London any longer. She was on the hunt for a new conquest and what better place than Sanditon where everyone would know she's the richest person in town and she would be more powerful than any other woman here. “I have little interest in titles. I don’t need one, nor do I want one.”

“You jest! No one would turn up a chance at a title,” she laughed.

“I don’t want it.” I yelled.

“You still don’t get it, do you?” she said matching my anger. “I can ruin your entire family. You can’t break a promise once it’s been made.”

“Do what you must to ruin my family. It’s not like there’s much else that can be done to us that hasn’t already been done. We’ve come out of it unscathed so far, we will find a way to make it right again.”

She stared at me in shock then anger crossed her face. “Are you sincerely rejecting me?”

“I’ve been rejected before. You learn to get over it,” I said condescendingly.

The look on her face was a mixture of anger, fear, and sadness. I softened my stance and sighed deeply, trying to show some kindness. As much as I didn’t love her anymore, I still cared about her happiness.

“Were you happy in your first marriage?” I asked changing the subject.

“Of course, I was.” She blurted trying to force anger to be in the forefront of her emotions.

“Were you really?”

She sighed and stared at me uncertain. “What does happiness have to do with marriage? I married for protection. I grew to respect my husband. He knew what he was getting when we got married.”

“A loveless marriage?” I asked. She didn’t say anything to dispute my accusation. “Someone once told me, a marriage without mutual love and affection is a sort of slavery. Is that how it felt?”

Her eyes filled with tears as she thought about it. She hesitated to answer, to the point I wasn’t sure she would. “I never told anyone how happy I was when I found out he had died. I was so ashamed of myself for thinking something so badly of my husband." she paused again, swallowing hard. "But you're right. It felt like a weight was always holding me down. I hated sleeping next to him every night. I dreamed of you when I did. I refused to have children with him, even though he pleaded for them. Thankfully I had a little mix of herbs to prevent children from happening. I didn’t want to be burdened with children. Could you imagine me being a mother?” she laughed light-heartedly like she was trying to push the thought away. At one time I did picture her being a mother. But now the thought was rather preposterous. She cared more about herself than to ever think of someone else, even her own child.

“Think about, Eliza. That’s the exact thing you’d be doing to me. I’d always be thinking of another woman. I’d always be dreaming of a different life with someone else. I want the simple family life with someone I love and respect; with someone who loves and respects me in return. A life with children. I haven't wanted any of that for ten years and now it's all I think about. We both want different things. Please don’t make me a prisoner by forcing a marriage out of spite.”

A sense of understanding crossed her face and she looked hurt but angry. “I do believe we could have all of that plus much more.”

I shook my head. “There’s nothing you can do to change my mind. If you want to be vindictive, then do it. But please remember I stood back and let you have what you wanted at one time. I could have caused a scene. But I didn’t because I cared about your happiness. I wanted the best for you. I still want that today. I want you to be happy in marriage. I want you to have everything you’ve ever dreamed of. But it won’t be with me.”

There was a silence that came over us. I tried to convey my wishes the best I could without being harsh; without being hurtful. But I was pretty sure I failed since she cried uncontrollably.

“I’ll be leaving for London at once,” she said, tears streaming down her face. She quickly passed me and headed back into the hotel. I let out a sharp breath trying to make sense of what she was saying. Was I free? Had she just released me from our engagement? I wanted nothing more than for it to be true.

The sound of a carriage approaching brought me out of my train of thoughts. Crowe exited the carriage and I rushed over to him. “Is she alright?” I asked desperately.

“She’s fine. We got her back home and Alison got her to bed.”

“She wasn’t hurt?” I asked needing more information.

“I don’t think so. She didn’t speak on the ride to Sanditon House. Alison seemed to think she would be fine.”

I let out a sigh of relief. At least she was safe even if she was angry with me.

“Parker,” Crowe started then hesitated. His forehead wrinkled and he looked lost in thought. “Never mind.”

“What is it!” I demanded.

He patted me on the back and forced a smile. “Nothing you need to trouble yourself with. All is well.” He walked past me and headed to the hotel. I watched him leave and questioned what it was he wanted to say. I wasn’t about to step foot back in the hotel knowing Eliza may stop me again. Instead, I walked back to Trafalgar House with hope that it was finally over with Eliza.

~0~

In the morning I awoke to a letter that had been slipped under the door. I opened it to find it was from Eliza.

Dear Sidney,

I won’t be giving you up so easily. I still think you’ll be imploring me to take you back. Your situation with needing money has not changed. I’m returning to my estate to tie up some loose ends, then I’ll be back. For now, I’m granting you a postponement of our nuptials. I hope when I return, you’ll be in a better mind and understand what we must do.

Eliza

I let out a sigh of relief. It was something at least. All I could hope for is in time she would move on and finally find some happiness. With Eliza out of the picture for now, I needed to find a way to pay the debt. If only Tom hadn’t taken off on some damn quest and been here to help himself out of his own binds.

Very rarely did I attend a church service, but I knew Charlotte would be there and I desperately needed to see with my own eyes that she was alright. I got ready and headed across town to find my brother. He was surprised to see me but was grateful for the company and the ride in the carriage, I’m sure.

We walked in and my eyes fell on Charlotte instantly. The minute she saw me, her head turned, and she didn’t dare look at me again for the rest of the day. I sat towards the back and watched her during the entire service. She seemed fine, but sometimes I almost swore I saw her shaking in fear. Alison and Georgiana sat on either side of her and would lean into her or take her hand to steady her. I didn’t like seeing her so fearful.

After the service, I stood in the yard and talked with Babington and Esther while watching Charlotte from afar. She laughed with Arthur and Alison with ease and then I saw Arthur leave with Charlotte, Alison, and Georgiana. If she was comfortable with Arthur and wasn’t afraid to go for a walk with him, she must be doing better.

“Mr. Parker,” Lady Denham greeted directly. “I’d like you to come by Sanditon House next week. We have business matters to discuss.”

I bowed my understanding. That sudden twist of the knife hit my stomach and I felt ill. She was going to want her money and I had no way to produce it.

For the rest of the day, I went through every paper, every receipt, every transaction, Tom had in his office trying to find a way out of debt. He was in far worse trouble than I thought. Not only did he owe Lady Denham, but he had loans at multiple banks in London that hadn’t been paid a dime since the fire. His debt was closer to ninety thousand pounds. My head fell into my hands while my heart raced, and my face flushed. There was no getting out of this. Yet again, I barely slept from the anxiety I felt of the unknown. Was there any way to get Tom out of debt without connecting myself to Eliza, and if so, how? I refused to give up hope.

The next morning, I didn’t think Charlotte would want me at the building site, but I had secured plenty of men to join in the fight to get the Waterloo Terrace back up and ready for visitors. There were already Londoners arriving every day in anticipation for the Prince Regent. The hotel was overloaded with patrons. If Mary and the children weren’t returning, I’d consider renting out rooms at Trafalgar House to raise some money.

Instead, I spent the day going over my own finances while the maid Arthur hired prepared the house for Mary’s return. Mary would appreciate clean bedding on all the beds and all the surfaces dusted. This new maid even made a dinner and a plate of biscuits for their return. The children were going to enjoy the treat.

I was sitting at Tom’s desk when I heard the carriage pull up outside late in the day. I walked out with a welcome smile.

“Oh, Sidney,” Mary said. “What a welcome site, you are!”

“Mary,” I greeted, giving her a hug.

“Uncle Sidney!” Henry shouted.

I laughed and picked him up out of the carriage. “Mama said you’d be here. We missed you.”

“Well I missed all of you, too. It’s nice to have all of you back home.”

“It’s been an exhausting trip with four children,” Mary said, winded. “I think baby James may have a touch of illness.”

“He cried all the way here,” Henry whined.

“Henry!” Mary scolded.

He sighed and looked down. “Well he did.”

“Everything should be prepared for you. There’s even dinner,” I explained. “There may be a plate of biscuits, as well.” I gave Henry a smile and his eyes grew wild with anticipation. He squirmed out of my arms and ran inside. Mary handed little James off to the nurse to take inside.

“Should I fetch the doctor for little James?” I offered.

“I think a good night’s sleep will cure anything troubling him. I don’t think the doctor is needed right now,” she dismissed.

We walked into the house and Mary looked around in amazement.

“Sidney, who took care of all this? Surely you didn’t!”

“No, Arthur hired a maid for his own place and offered to send her over here to take care of the house for your return.” As I finished explaining we heard the second carriage pull up in front of the house. Within seconds Diana was bursting through the door fanning herself.

“Oh, I might faint from the humidity!” Diana feigned stepping into the drawing room and plopping onto a chair. Jenny and Alicia giggled as they followed behind her. It did happen to be a warmer day, but it wasn’t as bad as she made it sound. She complained of her sciatica and how she was having trouble breathing from the dust the carriage made. I tried to be the supportive brother, but secretly I was rolling my eyes at her dramatics.

Jenny and Alicia stood watching their aunt with muffled giggles. “Girls,” I said. “There’s biscuits in the dining room. You better go quick before Henry eats all of them.” Their breaths hitched as they looked at each other, then took off running for the dining room. Mary laughed and followed behind them.

“Where might my brother, Arthur be?” Diana asked. “Is he well? He hasn’t perished in this heat, has he?”

“I believe he’s at the building site today helping with the rebuild of Waterloo Terrace,” I answered.

The gasp that came out of her mouth was quite theatrical and she nearly bolted from the chair. “You must be joking! Arthur can’t be working at a construction site. What if he gets hurt? I must see him at once!” she demanded.

“Arthur is just fine. I doubt he’s in any trouble with Miss Heywood in charge.”

“Miss Heywood?” she said. “Charlotte is in charge at Waterloo Terrace?”

“Has been since Lady Denham put her in command.”

“That’s unheard of. She’s a woman. Why would she want to be in charge of a building project?”

I chuckled and ducked my head thinking how best to answer. “You clearly don’t know Charlotte very well.”

“It’s just not right for a woman to be surrounded by men all day. How is she managing?”

“She seems to be managing very well,” I answered getting a little irritated with how my sister was disrespecting Charlotte.

“And Arthur is there helping?” she asked.

“He is,” I answered. “He plans to come by in the morning to see all of you. For now, it might be a good idea to get some rest. All the rooms upstairs have been prepared.”

She placed her hand on mine and sighed. “Dear brother, you are a welcome comfort. I think I will go straight to bed.”

I offered my arm to help her raise to her feet and to the stairs. Once she was on her way to her room, I let out an exaggerated sigh and rolled my eyes before returning to Tom’s office. Mary and the children ate some food and then headed upstairs to retire for the night even though the children all protested saying they weren't tired. I was sure in the morning Mary would fill me in on what she knew of Tom. I hoped she had received word from him and had some idea where he was or when he'd return.

I wasn’t expecting any visitors for the rest of the night, but one of Mary’s many servants came to let me know there was a guest in the drawing room.

~~Charlotte~~

On Sunday morning, I readied myself for church alone. I wanted to forget about the ball. Forget about what happened with Mr. Fritz and with Sidney. I wanted to forget how embarrassing it was and how humiliated I was. I vowed to never attend another ball for as long as I lived.

Lady Denham and Alison were already in the carriage waiting when I came downstairs and got in with them. I put my hat on in the carriage and sat silently next to Alison. I was thankful neither of them brought up what happened at the ball. If I never had to talk about it again, I’d be happy.

We walked into the crowded church and took our seats next to Lady Denham in the front. More people came in and took seats including Arthur and Sidney. I didn't dare look at either of them. Eliza didn’t attend with them. I wondered why. I did see her at the ball looking beautiful and elegant like always. I only saw her for a moment before I left, but I imagine she wasn't happy with Sidney after what he did for me.

Georgiana came in with Mrs. Griffiths and the Beaufort sisters. Instead of sitting by them, Georgiana came over and sat next to us. She took my hands in hers and squeezed them affectionately. I smiled at her and leaned into her side a little for comfort.

Mr. Hankins came in and started his sermon. I never quite understood his analogies, but I listened anyway and did my best to take in his message. After the service, we walked outside and visited with a few people.

“Mr. Hankins never ceases to amaze me with his way of words,” Arthur said standing next to me and Alison. We both smiled.

“What did you think of his service?” I asked Alison. This was her first service she had attended of his.

“I’m not sure what to think of it. Was he talking about God or was he talking about fishing?”

Arthur and I both laughed. “Here I thought he was referring to temptation,” Arthur said playfully only causing all three of us to laugh more.

“You’ll learn not to overthink Mr. Hankins messages,” I assured Alison.

"Mr. Parker, I wasn't aware you were back in Sanditon," Dr. Fuchs said. Alison and I nodded our greeting for him. "Still keeping up the exercise, I presume?"

"Of course, doctor. I have been vigorously walking everyday," he answered. The look on his face made me question if he was telling the doctor the truth. "In fact, Miss Heywoods, would you like to join me for a little stroll along the clifftops this afternoon?”

“A stroll?” I questioned with a smile. “I suppose we could.”

"Glad to hear it, Mr. Parker," Mr. Fuchs said patting Arthur on the back. Arthur had a pleased expression on his face.

“Should we invite Georgiana?” Alison suggested.

“Yes! Let’s,” Arthur agreed. Alison went to invite Georgiana while I went and told Lady Denham where we were going.

“A stroll with Arthur Parker?” Lady Denham asked with a sound of distaste in her tone. She turned around and looked him up and down. “Why on earth would he be going on a stroll?”

“Doctor Fuchs has suggested he get exercise and he needs some encouragement," I explained. "He’s a kind soul and fun to be around. I could use a good light-hearted afternoon.”

She hummed in agreement and shooed us on our way. In what seemed like forever, the sun was actually shining as the four of us walked the clifftops. Alison and Georgiana were running through the grass like little girls. Occasionally they’d pull me with them and force me to play. It was nice to laugh again and be silly with them. Arthur enjoyed laughing at us.

I stopped and caught up with Arthur trying to catch my breath. “Thank you for suggesting we take a stroll with you, Mr. Parker. I think it’s just what we all needed.”

“I actually wanted to ask you something, Miss Heywood,” he said rather seriously, which was odd for Arthur.

“What is it?” I asked, concerned.

“I know you are in charge at the Terrace. My brother kindly asked me to come help tomorrow which I did agree to do.”

“That’s wonderful. We need all the help we can get,” I said.

“Well, that’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. I’m terribly afraid of heights and I’m not so great with a hammer either. I think I’m allergic to paint since it makes me sneeze. I’m not entirely a strong man, either.” I listened and wondered what he was getting at. He kind of sounded like he didn’t want to help after all. I couldn’t blame him if he backed out. “My point is, could you, perhaps, find me an easier job that won’t tire me out too quickly?”

I smiled and tried my best not to laugh. “I’m sure I can think of something,” I assured tucking my hand into the crook of his arm while we continued to walk.

“Georgiana, are you planning to come help at the building site?” Alison asked as both of them came and walked with us instead of running about.

“You are joking, right?” she said. “I don’t know anything about building. I wouldn’t be suited for any help.”

“It’s not all that hard,” I assured. “Plus, you can say you had a hand in building Sanditon.”

“No, thank you,” she said with a disgusted tone. “I’m not entirely concerned about building Sanditon.”

Alison and I shared a smile while we continued on our way. When we got into town, we walked with Arthur back to his home where he introduced us to his new maid. We drank tea and had biscuits with Arthur and visited for the afternoon before we walked Georgiana back to Mrs. Griffiths.

The sun was beginning to set when Alison and I headed back to Sanditon House, so we walked rather fast. We hadn’t realized how long we had stayed in town.

“Do you think George is going to be terribly upset with us for not being at his wedding?” Alison asked.

“I think mother and father are going to be more upset. I imagine we will get a letter from them demanding we return.”

“You truly think they will?” she questioned.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if father ends up coming for us.”

“What if we try to find a way to go,” Alison suggested. “If we could find someone with a carriage who could accompany us and then rush us right back afterwards. We would only need to stay for the ceremony. I’m sure there’s plenty of people who could host the Prince Regent and Lady Susan for an afternoon without us.”

“Who would we get a carriage from?” I wondered. “I can’t imagine Lady Denham would allow us to use hers. She will want to have it in case she needs to go into town with the Prince Regent or Lady Susan."

“I thought about that,” she said. “I wondered if, perhaps, Mr. Crowe would allow us to use his. He was kind enough to give us a ride after the ball.”

“Do you think he would?” I asked.

“I don’t see how it would hurt to ask.”

“I’ll let you ask him. He’d probably say yes to you before anyone else,” I said with a knowing smile. She smiled back and took my arm in hers while we walked.

“He’s not that bad when he isn’t drinking,” she said.

“Is Lady Denham going to successfully make another match?” I teased.

“I don’t know if I’d go that far. I am quite certain we both told each other we were not interested, but...”

“But…” I asked, smiling.

She hesitated a moment before continuing. “But he was so kind helping me find you and then getting us home. I think there’s a side of him most people don’t get to see.”

“I would agree. Mr. Crowe has always been very kind to me,” I said.

“He’s hiding behind a mask of sorts. I think that’s why he drinks. He doesn’t want anyone to see him for who he truly is.”

“But you plan to find out who he truly is?” I asked.

“I don’t know if he’ll let me. I’m not going to push him. But he does make me curious.”

“I’m sure you’ll think of something,” I assured.

~0~

In the morning Alison and I put on simple, older dresses for the building site. Lady Denham was in her drawing room entertaining a guest when we came downstairs. She saw us and nodded her approval for us to leave for the day. The carriage was already waiting for us. We boarded and headed into town. As anxious as I was to get back to the building, I was nervous about seeing Sidney again. I still hadn’t talked to him about the incident that happened at the ball, nor have I gotten over the fact that he was paying the laborers yet led me to believe it was Tom. I was angry at first and felt betrayed, but as I’d had time to think about it, I remembered what he said when we were at the cove about Tom doing it for the right reasons. Thinking on it, I realized he was saying those words, not Tom. I judged him harshly in my moment of distress when I should have been thanking him. Otherwise, I don’t think Mr. Fritz would have been the only one who tried to take advantage. Sidney Parker was only trying to protect me.

When we arrived, there were so many new faces standing around waiting. Some of them I recognized, some I didn’t. Many of them were local men who ran the shops or the fisherman who came to Sanditon for the season. I also saw Arthur, Lord Babington, and Mr. Crowe waiting for instruction. I was overwhelmed with how many men wanted to come help.

“Where do you want us, Miss Heywood?” Lord Babington asked as soon as Alison and I got out of the carriage.

“Uh, I’m not sure. What are you capable of doing?” I asked. The normal laborers were already hard at work at their positions. The new men, I didn't know what they could do.

“I’m sure you could list some jobs that need doing and we could all pick one,” Mr. Crowe suggested.

“Right,” I agreed nervously. “We could use some more painters. I also need some men to split the logs and carry them when they are ready. Could any of you, perhaps, make bricks or know a thing or two about stonemasonry?” They all glanced back and forth between each other with questioning eyes. As much as I knew Mr. Fritz was bad news and had to go, I was filled with worry with finding a new stonemason. We needed his skills. “Never mind that. What about swinging a hammer? Are any of you able to do that?”

“I think we can all make something happen,” Lord Babington assured then assessed the group and directed men in different positions I had suggested.

I asked Arthur to stay close to me and take notes or run simple errands. He kept me company most of the day and made me feel better having someone close. After what happened at the ball, I was fearful of everything and everyone.

The only person I hadn’t seen all day was Sidney. I had planned to talk to him and apologize for what happened, but he never showed. I wasn’t sure why and I didn’t dare ask anyone about him.

There was a sudden boisterous laugh from behind me where some of the men stood, causing me to startle and scribble across the paper I was writing on. I started to shake and had to take a couple deep breaths to calm my nerves.

“Is everything alright, Miss Heywood?” Arthur asked from where he stood next to me.

I took another deep breath and tried to smile at him to assure him I was alright. “I’ll be fine. I think it’s just my nerves. We have so much to do still. How will we ever get it all done?” I said knowing deep down it was more my anxiety of men that had me on edge. I had to get ahold of myself.

“You know what you need, Miss Heywood?” Arthur said. “A drink and some buttered toast. You’ll be right as rain after. Or better yet, how about some biscuits? I’ll ask my maid to make some. I’ll bring in enough for everyone tomorrow. We could all use a little treat after all the work everyone is doing.”

“That’s very kind of you, Arthur. I’m sure everyone would appreciate the treat.”

“Then it’s settled,” he said nodding his head and snapping his fingers.

I smiled at his joyful expression, which helped calm me tremendously. I knew there was a reason I had given him the position to stay close to me.

"But if biscuits don't help, perhaps you need a good punching bag. My brother Sidney enjoys the strenuous exercise when he's stressed. I never could understand why. Boxing seems as if it brings on a lot of pain. Why would you choose pain for stress when you could eat sweets to fight stress? To each his own, I guess."

I smiled and agreed to his assessments. I'm not sure I needed either, but I definitely needed to figure something out.

At the end of the day, I thanked all the men who came to help for their hard work and generous time. Many of them agreed to be back the next day. We had gotten so much done and I was entirely grateful for all of the extra help.

Alison wished to go visit Georgiana for a bit, but I had other plans. I couldn’t exactly tell her about my plans, though. So, I lied and said I needed to run an errand or two and would meet her at Mrs. Griffiths when I was done.

I stood in front of Trafalgar House nervously trying to talk myself into knocking. The book I had borrowed was in my hand ready to be returned. I’d be lying if my principle reason for going was merely to return a book. There was so much still left unsaid. Most importantly, I wanted to apologize for what happened at the ball. I was upset at the time, but I realize if it wasn’t for Sidney, I probably would have been hurt far worse.

I was surprised when the butler I was familiar with when I lived there opened the door and showed me to the drawing room. I assumed Sidney was staying there alone and would answer the door himself. I could hand him the book and if I got the courage would continue with an apology. But here I was standing in the house waiting to see Sidney.

“Miss Heywood?” Mr. Parker said when he walked into the room. I turned around to face him and my stomach did a little flip. I hated how my body reacted to him. I had it all planned out what I was going to say when I arrived, but when I opened my mouth nothing came out. “Are you here to see Mary?”

“I… I wasn’t aware Mary was here,” I said timidly.

“Yes, she and the children just arrived an hour ago. They were all rather tired from the long trip, so they went to rest. I can see if she’s available if you want.”

“No, I don’t want to disturb any of them.”

“I’m surprised Arthur didn’t tell you they were coming. Didn’t you go for a walk with him yesterday?”

“I did, but he was far more concerned about his occupation than to talk about Mary.”

“His occupation?” he asked confused.

“Well he’s afraid of heights, no good with a hammer, allergic to paint, there may have been something else.”

He laughed. “And what position did you end up giving him?”

“He’s my administrative assistant,” I said. His forehead wrinkled at the title and the corner of his mouth twitched. “Basically, he takes notes for me and delivers messages.”

He smiled and nodded his head. “Sounds like a perfect position for my brother.”

“He seems to be enjoying it.”

There was an awkward silence that filled the room. He stared at me so intently. I used to be able to match his gaze with my own, but now he just made me nervous.

“Tom didn’t join Mary and the children?” I asked.

He ducked his head and put his hands behind his back. “No, he uh... he’s on a quest to save Sanditon.”

“Oh. Well, we all know Sanditon needs to be saved.”

“I’m not sure Tom is the right one for the job,” he said with a chuckle.

We all need to do our part,” I said.

“Some more than others,” he added. His meaning was not lost on me. He had done far more than most.

“Which brings me to one of the reasons I came here. I wanted to thank you for asking around and convincing so many local men to come help. We had a great turnout today and were able to get a lot done.”

“I’m glad I could be of service,” he said rather subdued.

I hesitated before speaking again. My eyes were on his feet. “I was surprised not to see you there today.”

“I wasn’t sure if you’d want me there,” he admitted.

My eyes rose to his and all I could see was the pain in his eyes. “That’s another reason why I came. I wanted to apologize for the other night. I was rude when all you were trying to do was help me.”

He took a couple steps towards me; our eyes fixated on each other. “You don’t need to apologize. I should be apologizing to you. I feel horrible for embarrassing you in front of everyone. I could have handled the situation better.”

“On the contrary, you probably saved me a lot of distress. Mr. Fritz was not a gentleman and had an agenda. He made it perfectly clear what he thought of me and had planned. As strong as I try to appear, I’m really nothing more than a weak young woman.”

He chuckled and wrinkled his forehead again. “Is that really how you see yourself? You are the epitome of a strong woman. You don’t give yourself enough credit for all you’ve accomplished; all you’ve proven in such a short time.”

His compliments always made me self-conscious. How do I even respond to something like that? I remembered the book in my hand and felt like I needed to change the subject and leave before things got more awkward.

“Anyway,” I said. “I wanted to return the book I borrowed also.” I placed the book on the table and started to walk away. “I’ll leave now.”

“Is that really all you came for?” he asked as I walked past him. I stopped in my tracks and turned towards him, now only a couple steps away from him. His head turned towards me and that familiar intense stare was on me.

I sighed and looked away for a moment before turning my body around to face him. “I guess I was hoping to ask a favor also,” I said with trepidation.

He smirked like he was amused. “What kind of favor?”

I turned away from him and walked back into the room so not to face him. “I was upset when I found out it was actually you and not Tom who was paying the men. I felt like you didn't trust me enough to do a good job. Like you were belittling me in front of them. But then I remembered when we were at the cove and you said something about paying the men bonuses to respect me and to allow me to be a part of their world. How it was for my protection. At the time I thought all of that was coming from Tom, but now I know it was coming from you." I stopped for a moment and glanced at him just for a second to observe his reaction. He looked confused like he wasn't sure what I was getting at. "What happened at the ball got me thinking about my protection. I’m surrounded by men who at any point could attempt something like Mr. Fritz. I can't alway depend on someone else to protect me and it's not your job to always be the one to step in and rescue me."

"Are you saying you'd rather I stand back and let those men take advantage of you? If you are, I can't do it. I won't," he said forcefully.

I stared out the window with my hands resting on the table in front of me, trying to figure out how to get out what I wanted to say. "I can hunt with the best of men, I can play a man’s sport, I can swim in the sea just as well as any man, blood doesn't bother me in the least, I probably know more about architecture than most men at the building site.” I turned around to face him again. His face was full of questions. “But I don’t know how to throw a punch.” There was a moment of understanding that crossed his face, but he didn’t speak. I started to second guess myself and think I was asking something silly that I had no right to ask. “I know it’s far too much to ask. I imagine Eliza wouldn’t approve. Perhaps you could just direct me to someone who could teach me?” I sounded so unsure of myself and really questioned what I had just asked.

He smiled shyly and there was a twinkle to his eyes like he was amused. I couldn’t tell if his amusement was because he thought it funny or if he thought it a good idea.

“I wouldn’t trust anyone else to teach you the basics of throwing a punch. I’d be happy to teach you some skills.”

“I don’t want to trouble you,” I said.

“It’s no trouble at all. And I do agree. You should know how to protect yourself.”

I ducked my head again and stared at his feet. “What do I do first?”

He laughed and adjusted his stance. “Perhaps this isn’t the greatest place to teach you. Could you meet me in the morning?”

My eyes met his again. “I'm sure I could.”

"We both seem to know where the cove is and we won't be bothered there early in the morning."

“That’ll do just fine.”

“I’ll see you in the morning, then.” He nodded his head with a smile.

“Goodbye,” I said with a curtsy before rushing for the door.

As soon as I was outside, I let out a sigh of relief. Then my stomach did another twist. What had I just done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might be a few days before a new chapter gets posted. Distance Learning (AKA home schooling) has started and I quit on my first day as the new teacher. I spent an hour being screamed at by my 6 year old because I wasn't teaching it like his teacher. My almost 8 year old told me she liked her teacher better than me. Don't even get me started on my 14 year old. Did I mention that not only do I have 10 kids, but 2 of them are autistic among other diagnosis and 3 of them have ADHD and anxiety? I love my kids, truly I do. But some days I just want to get in my car and drive away. This whole quarantine thing is going to drive me to drinking. The second and third day of distance learning were much better, but it's still going to take some time to adjust for all of us. We are doing the best we can. On the bright side, my high school senior got a pass on all his current classes and is now an official high school graduate. That was honestly my biggest concern, so the fact that it's official now makes me feel much better. Not sure he will have an actual graduation ceremony, but hopefully at some point it'll happen.
> 
> I hope all of you are surviving and keeping healthy mentally, emotionally, and physically in these trying times. I'm praying this all passes very soon and we can all get back to our normal routines.


	17. Learning to Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kids are all still alive and doing well. I'm so thankful my husband knows a thing or two about computers. He's gotten all the kids set up with their zoom classes and into their google classrooms. It's been great to get all of them back into a routine.

~~Sidney~~

Before anyone was up, I rushed to the cove. A part of me regretted agreeing to teaching her how to fight. I knew, somehow it was bound to backfire on me. But another part of me looked forward to seeing her, to being close to her, to potentially being allowed to touch her even in the slightest way. With Eliza back in London and a start to her releasing me from the engagement, made me hopeful for a future with Charlotte. The only thing standing in my way was the debt Tom had incurred. 

I arrived at the cove well before the sun came up. Perhaps in my anxious desire to see her, I came too early. I waited and watched the sun come up. I saw a group of deer run across the clifftops. I watched the waves crash against the shore and then retreat back into the ocean over and over again. I got impatient and started to pace the beach. I started to wonder if she was going to show at all. 

Right when I was about to face defeat, I heard footsteps coming up behind me. I turned and saw Charlotte coming down the embankment with Alison following close behind. I had a moment of disappointment to see Alison but decided it would be best not to show my dissatisfaction to them. I forced a smile and walked over to meet them halfway.

“Good morning,” I said bowing my head towards them.

“Mr. Parker,” Charlotte greeted. Instead of glaring like she usually did, Alison seemed to be studying me. What she was looking for, I do not know. “I thought it best since Alison and I are both at the building site most days, she should learn some protection skills as well.”

I nodded and looked down at my feet to once again hide my disappointment. “I couldn’t agree more,” I said. “You can both practice on each other.”

I removed my jacket and placed it on a nearby rock while both girls removed their bonnets and gloves. 

“You mentioned yesterday you wanted to know how to throw a punch. I’ll teach you the basics of how to hit someone without hurting yourself too badly and perhaps a few other techniques if you’re ever attacked by a scoundrel.”

“I think it would be most helpful,” Charlotte said.

“I suppose the first thing you should know is always try to hit them with the element of surprise. You’ll have much more impact if they aren’t expecting you to hit them.” Both girls nodded their heads in understanding. “Let’s start with your stance. You’ll need to spread your feet apart. Line them up with your shoulders.” Both of them followed my instructions, albeit a little nervously. Raise your hands to chest level and make a fist. Keep your elbows in close to your body and turn to your side just slightly.” I instinctively reached out and corrected Charlotte’s arms, knowing full well I shouldn’t have, and Alison was probably going to shoot daggers at me. Charlotte didn’t shy away from my touch and moved her elbow closer to her body. To my surprise Alison didn't glare at me, but just seemed to be studying me again. “Now visualize something out in front of you and swing your fist towards it.” 

Nervously, they both swung their arms out slowly and far too wide. They looked rather silly doing so. I rolled my eyes and started again. “Let’s try something different. Which one of you want to go first?”

“I suppose I will,” Charlotte said. 

“Alright,” I said. “Miss Heywood stand facing your sister and put your hands up by your face palms facing out.” I directed Alison. “Now Charlotte… Miss Heywood, you’ll face her and try to hit her hands with sharp, quick jabs of your fist. Watch what I do.” I got in my stance and showed them a couple quick punches into the air just to give them an idea of what I meant. Charlotte nodded her head and got into position. With a deep breath she punched her sister’s hand. Alison sort of stumbled backwards and her eyes went wild. 

“I wasn’t expecting such force,” Alison said loudly. I hid my smirk but was quite proud of Charlotte. 

“Try it again,” I said. She did as I instructed and punched Alison’s hands over and over. Alison had gotten wise to the force coming from Charlotte and made it a mission not to let her cause another stumble. I watched with a pleased expression as Charlotte practiced and the look of determination was on her face. 

“Am I going to get to practice, or am I just the punching bag?” Alison asked.

I cleared my throat and shook away the pleasurable thoughts going on inside of me. “Of course. Why don’t you both switch?” Now Alison punched at Charlotte’s hands. Alison wasn’t quite as forceful and almost seemed a little indifferent to the lesson. They both took turns practicing and listened to my corrections. 

“You both did well,” I said after they had practiced for quite some time. Beads of perspiration lined their hairlines and their cheeks were bright red with heat. “Shall we meet tomorrow morning for more lessons?” 

“What else do you need to teach us?” Alison asked. 

I scoffed at the question. “There’s so much more that can be taught. I’ve barely shown you anything?”

“For me, I’d like to learn more. I want to know we are both safe when at the building site or anywhere else, for that matter,” Charlotte said. There was an exchange of looks between Alison and Charlotte. They agreed to meet me the next day and started to gather their things to leave.

“Miss Heywood,” I called as they began to walk away. Both of them turned. “Charlotte. May I have a word with you for a moment?” 

They shared another look. Alison said she’d wait for Charlotte at the top of the cliff. 

“What is it?” she asked.

“I wanted to ask about the Terrace. Is it alright if I join in the building today?”

“Of course,” she said. Her expression was of confusion. I felt like I needed to explain my question more.

“I know we talked yesterday, and you met with me today, but I wanted to be sure you didn’t feel awkward around me. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m perfectly well, I assure you,” she said. “I’ve decided to put things in the past and move on. You and I can be friends, or if you’d rather, business acquaintances.”

I didn’t like hearing she had moved on. Moved on to what? I faked a smile. “I like us being friends.”

“Very well,” she said. “I will see you at the Terrace today. Good day, Mr. Parker.”

“If we’re going to be friends, do you think we could address each other on more friendly terms?” I asked with a hopeful expression. 

“I think, for everyone’s sake, Mr. Parker will do,” she said. She burst my bubble once again and I let out a defeated sigh. I was hopeful I’d hear my name leave her lips just once. 

“Then, good day, Miss Heywood,” I said sadly. 

She nodded her head and joined Alison at the top of the cliff. I walked the beach back towards town and thought about the weight of the debt on my shoulders and the pain Charlotte’s rejection caused. I wasn’t meant for this type of heartache. I thought all those years ago I had a broken heart, this was far worse. I’d never felt pain like losing Charlotte. She had taken every part of me that was broken and put it back together. In my stupidity, I shattered it again. Now I desperately wanted to fix it and make her see I could be that man once again. She just needed to allow me to show her what I could do. 

Yet in my next thought I questioned whether I should let her go. Should I allow her to find happiness somewhere else? Perhaps I wasn’t right for her. Perhaps she deserved more than I could ever offer her. I should keep my distance and let her to move on. 

The constant battle inside of me was unbearable. Neither scenario seemed plausible.

When I returned to town, I walked into Trafalgar house to find Mary and the children as well as Diana and Arthur sitting in the dining room for breakfast. I greeted them cheerfully before sitting down at the table.

“Where have you been?” Diana asked.

“Down on the beach,” I answered.

“You look rather cheerful today,” Arthur observed. “Anything particular bring out those sentiments?”

I smiled and distracted myself with filling a plate with food. “It’s a lovely day, that is all,” I answered.

Everyone seemed to be staring trying to gage my mood. I needed to change the subject.

“Any word from Tom?” I asked. 

“Nothing yet,” Mary answered. “I’ve requested any mail sent to the London house be sent here. If only he had told me where he was going before he left.”

“No use dwelling on it,” I said. “I have a plan. I may need to leave Sanditon for a couple days. I’m hopeful when I return, I’ll have good news.”

“You said that the last time,” Diana said. “Now we are all on the verge of a scandal.”

“Diana,” Mary scolded. “Not in front of the children, please.” I looked around at their innocent faces and smiled at little Henry who emulated me in many ways. 

“I’m hopeful this time will be more successful.”

“What’s your plan?” Arthur asked with a mouthful of food.

“I’ll reveal in due time,” I answered. “Are you joining the workforce at Waterloo Terrace today?”

“My body is still aching from yesterday’s work. Perhaps I should take today off. I don’t want to overdo it,” he said. 

“Indeed, you should,” Diana coddled. “You are not built for hard labor, dear brother. I insist you stay in bed all day to rest.” He patted her hand on his arm and nodded his head in agreement.

I rolled my eyes. “Must be hard work to take notes and deliver messages,” I teased. 

Arthur gave me a knowing look. I’d only know that information if Charlotte had told me. “Did you happen to see Miss Heywood down on the beach this morning?” he asked with a grin on his face.

I gave him a crooked smile and narrowed my eyes in a playful gesture. “I need to get to work,” I said standing from my chair and heading towards the door. 

“On second thought, I think I’ll see if Miss Charlotte needs my assistance today,” Arthur added, standing from his chair and following me towards the door.

“But Arthur,” Diana whined. “You’ll catch your death out there. I insist you stay home.”

“Interesting how you worry about Arthur catching his death, yet haven’t said one word about my safety,” I observed.

“You aren’t as delicate as Arthur. He nearly died and was left fragile after his illness,” she excused.

“I was sick with the same illness, Diana. Or do you not remember?” I said. “Arthur is perfectly well without your constant nursing. I’ll take good care of our little brother.”

Arthur and I left and walked down the street towards the building site. “You don’t always need to be so hard on Diana, you know. She has no one to look after,” Arthur said.

“So, you let her mother you?” I asked.

“She means well. Besides, I don’t mind the constant attention,” he said with a giggle.

I stopped and turned towards him. “You’ll never be a man if you don’t break free from her.”

“I have my own place. I hired a maid. I have broken free,” he said. “I’ve even been considering marriage, which is something I never thought I would let leave my lips.”

I smirked. “Marriage to whom?” 

“Not something you need to worry yourself with today,” he said walking away. 

I caught up and walked in pace with him. 

“If I was to consider marriage,” he began. “How do you think it would look if I married someone out of my class?”

The sudden thoughts of him marrying Georgiana filled my thoughts. Perhaps if he did, we could use her fortune to pay off Tom’s debts. I told myself I would never use her that way, but I was getting desperate. I could find a way to pay them back in time. If Sanditon became prosperous, they’d see money coming in that way too. I allowed myself to get my hopes up for the slightest of moments. “I think if you love someone, class shouldn’t play any part in it,” I said. “Nor should color of skin or background.”

“You would approve if I asked my maid to become my wife, then?” he asked.

I stopped and had a moment of confusion. “Your maid?” I asked. “I thought you were talking about Georgiana?”

He laughed. “Georgiana and I aren’t suitable,” he said. 

“Why not?” I felt defeated.

“We’re great friends. I enjoy her company, but she has never made my heart flutter and I’m sure I’ve never done that for her. When I’m with my maid, I can’t help but picture a future with her. Is it wrong for me to imagine such things?”

I thought about it for a moment and tried to wrap my head around what he was telling me. It very well could be one of the most intimate moments between brothers we’ve ever had. He confided something personal and open hoping for my approval in his choice. “I suppose you don’t always get to choose who you fall in love with. Whoever that may be, deserves a great man.”

He smiled jubilantly. “I think I will tell her how I feel tonight. I’d like her to come to Trafalgar House sometime for everyone to meet,” he suggested.

“I’ll talk to Mary about the idea,” I offered patting him on the back. 

We walked the rest of the way to Waterloo Terrace silently. I was still trying to come to terms with what he had told me. All this time I thought he fancied Georgiana and I’d have to allow him to marry her. How was I so wrong?

We arrived at the site and walked over to Charlotte who was already there directing men on where to go and what to do. 

“Good morning, Miss Heywood,” Arthur greeted. She turned towards us and the smile disappeared from her lips. 

“Mr. Parker,” she said greeting Arthur first. 

“Miss Heywood,” I said with a smile. “Nice to see you this morning.”

“You as well, Mr. Parker,” she said with a slight grin. 

“I have a little business to attend to before I can get started. I’ll be back in a while,” I said.

“Alright,” she said. “Arthur, would you mind writing some measurements down for me?” she asked of Arthur as I began to walk away. 

I hadn’t checked on the gazebo I had asked to be built for a few days, and I wanted to check on the progress. I was hopeful the building was almost complete so I could commission the men who were specifically hired for the job could then join us on the other building projects. 

As I reached the river, I saw an almost complete gazebo taking shape. It was perfect in every way. I couldn’t wait for Charlotte to see it and for her to present a staged show while the Prince Regent was here. 

“What do you think, Mr. Parker,” Jacob Finnegan asked. I’d only spoken to the man once when he first arrived, but he was a fine builder who knew his wood well.

“Looks amazing,” I said. “I’m eager to reveal it to the town.”

“We should be done in just a day or two.”

“Wonderful! If you don’t have any other pressing jobs, we could easily use all the help we can get at the Waterloo Terrace in town. If you and your men are up to it, you’ll be paid handsomely.”

“I think we can manage a few more days,” he accepted. I shook his hand in agreement and let him get back to work. I walked back into town excited to be able to reveal the gazebo to Charlotte. Perhaps, if my plan was to work, I could finally ask her to marry me in the gazebo. Then I saw something that stopped me in my tracks and nearly knocked the breath out of me. 

Mr. Stringer with Charlotte.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is done, I just need to fine tune it before posting. We are nearing some really good stuff.


	18. Mr. Stringer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nobody panic! Mr. Stringer is no threat for Sidney. He's only a threat in Sidney's own mind. Let Charlotte's POV explain.

~~Charlotte~~

After returning from our early morning lessons with Sidney, Alison and I ate some breakfast before heading out towards the building site. Lady Denham was still in bed when we left, so we didn’t have a chance to talk, but she was usually anxious for us to return in the evening to tell her all about our day in town.

When I asked Sidney to teach me how to throw a punch, I was surprised he agreed. I was hopeful he would just direct me to the right person who could teach me a thing or two. It also came as a shock at how quickly I accepted his offer and made plans to meet with him alone. I had confided in Alison on what I had done, and she insisted she attend with me. I assumed she’d talk me out of it all together. I think, in some way, I was hoping she would. Instead, she agreed on needing to know how to protect ourselves and thought it best she learns the same skills, considering she’s at the building site a lot more. 

Before we met with him, I had decided to let him go for good. I had pushed my feelings for him so far back in my mind, he was nothing more than an acquaintance now. Perhaps, in time we could be friends, but nothing more; not ever. 

I did seem to feel better meeting with him, knowing there were no expectations and no hopeful glances. I focused on the lessons and left it at that. It’s all I wanted from him. 

Seeing him arrive at the building site was even easier and less painful. I did very well staying professional and being kind without looking too eager to see him. I was quite proud of myself for finally putting my life back together. With time, being near him would be even easier.

I had just sent Arthur on an errand when a familiar voice said my name from behind. It was a voice I hadn’t heard in quite some time but welcomed all the same. I turned around and saw Mr. Stringer behind me with his hat in hand and that familiar bashful grin. 

“Mr. Stringer!” I said excitedly. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I had a letter asking for my assistance,” he explained.

“From who?” I wondered. It couldn’t possibly be Sidney who requested his help like he did all the others. 

“Mr. Robinson said you lost your stonemason and you needed a fill in. I’m not a stonemason by trade, but I am very well-versed in the craft from my father’s teachings. I can help the best I can.”

I grinned, overwhelmed with happiness. He was exactly what we needed. “I’m so grateful for your help. Perhaps you can tell me all the things I’m doing wrong as well.” 

He laughed and shook his head. “I can’t imagine you doing something wrong. I’m sure you’re a far better foreman than I was.”

“I doubt it.” I smiled and let out a sigh of relief. “Mr. Robinson is the foreman. I’m merely the overseer of things.”

He took a step closer to me and looked down at the paperwork spread out in front of me. “Are you planning to stick with Tom’s original designs?” 

“I was at first,” I explained. “But then I had a thought. What if we design the houses in a way that they can always see the ocean? Mr. Tom had all the houses facing towards the street. I thought it better if all the houses faced towards the beach. Thankfully most of the houses needed minor repairs from the fire damage. It wasn’t bad at all.”

“What a fantastic idea,” he complimented. I smiled at him pleased with myself. 

“Isn’t she brilliant?” Mr. Robinson stated now joining our conversation. 

“I wouldn’t go that far,” I said shyly. “It was merely changing the position of the doors and a few windows. I didn’t do anything special.”

“On the contrary, you have been a constant force of action here,” Mr. Robinson said. “I’m not so great at being direct with the men. It’s been nice having someone whip these men into shape.”

“Obviously Charlotte is a force to be reckoned with,” Mr. Stringer said. 

“You’re both going to make me blush,” I said, ducking my head from embarrassment. 

“You should learn to take some of the credit. You’ve done amazing things here,” Mr. Robinson said. 

I smiled at him accepting the compliment but not really feeling like I deserved it. “We have the welsh slate arriving at the end of the week,” I explained changing the subject. “I’m hopeful that everything else is done so we can get started on the rooftops. Not everything will be perfect, but it’s a good start and will look nice for when the Prince Regent arrives. Hopefully some of the houses will be livable by then. I’ve heard the hotel is overrun with tenants in anticipation for his arrival.”

“I can imagine so. My wife is quite excited about coming to visit,” he blurted. I almost gasped. Mr. Stringer was married?

“Your wife?” I asked hoping for clarification.

Mr. Robinson patted Mr. Stringer on the back a couple times. “Did you hear that, Charlotte? Our James Stringer went off to London and got himself married,” he teased. 

He dropped his head nervously and smiled. “Yes, I got married just last week. It was quite the whirlwind romance.” I smiled at his expression of admiration while talking about his wife. “She’s the daughter of the man I apprenticed for. I fell for her quite fast. Thankfully her father approved of the match. I sometimes wonder if his purpose for hiring me was to find a husband for his daughter. She’s wonderful at everything and amazingly smart. She keeps me on my toes for sure.” 

“Well, I need to get back to work,” Mr. Robinson said. “I don’t need to hear all the details of your whirlwind romance. When you’re done filling Charlotte in on all the particulars come see me and I’ll show you what all we’ve done.” Mr. Robinson and Mr. Stringer nodded at each other before Mr. Stringer turned his attention back towards me. 

“I’m so happy for you. I can’t wait to meet her,” I said honestly. 

He placed his hand on top of mine and squeezed my hand for just a moment. “I want to thank you for encouraging me to take the apprenticeship. Your letters were what made me believe it was the right path. If I hadn’t listened to you, I would have never met my Hannah. I believe you both will be great friends.”

“I’m sure we will. Anyone you care about will always be a friend of mine,” I said with a smile.

He grinned sheepishly before releasing my hand and taking a step back. “Well. I’ll go see what I have to work with,” he said shyly before walking away. I watched him leave with a grin on my face. I couldn’t help the feeling of pride that I had a small part in his happiness. He seemed overjoyed. 

I caught Sidney’s eyes on me for a slight moment before he ducked his head and walked towards one of the buildings. He seemed upset, but I wasn’t sure why. Surely, he wasn’t upset that I was talking with Mr. Stringer and Mr. Robinson. I’d spoken to them plenty of times. I didn’t see him again for the rest of the day. Even when Arthur came to say goodbye, he didn’t come with him. 

When Alison and I returned to Sanditon House in the evening, Lady Denham was in the library with a few of her many servants removing books off the shelves. She had crate after crate of books stacked up.

“What’s all this, Lady Denham?” Alison asked.

“Ah, there you girls are,” she greeted. “I’m cleaning out my library of books. There are far too many books in here. Many have never even been read. My late husband was an avid reader and connoisseur of books. I have no use for them, so they are all going.”

“What do you plan to do with them?” I asked. 

“Oh, donate them to some university or girl’s school in London, I would think. Perhaps they will have more use for them.”

“We could open a library here in Sanditon,” Alison suggested nonchalantly while flipping through one of the many books. 

“That’s a great idea!” I exclaimed. “What do you think, Lady Denham?”

“Another building I have to fund! Poppycock!” 

“We wouldn’t have to build anything new. Perhaps there’s a building somewhere already in town not occupied. I’m sure it wouldn’t cost much to turn it into a library. We could find someone to oversee the borrowing of books in exchange for room and board. It wouldn’t be much of an expense at all. Alison and I will oversee everything,” I offered.

She pondered the thought for a moment. “I suppose if I’m not paying for anything, I could agree.”

Alison and I smiled at the potential of a new project, especially a library. 

“What do you plan to do with this room after all the books are cleared out?” I asked, walking around the large room that was now echoing with the lack of books on the shelves.

“I’m having some renovations done beyond just my drawing room floor. This seemed like a good place to start,” she explained. “I’m thinking of turning this room into a nursery for when Esther visits with the baby and, god-willing, more as the years go by. Perhaps both of you will bring little ones around as well.”

“I never knew you to care much for children,” I said.

“I said I was never blessed with any. Doesn’t mean I didn’t want them,” she clarified. “I’m looking forward to watching Esther become a mother.”

“I think it’s a grand idea. I’m sure Esther will appreciate the gesture,” I said.

“Yes, it is, isn’t it?” she said going back to directing her servants on which bookshelves to empty next. 

I glanced over at Alison who was enthralled in a book she found in the stack. Her mouth hung open and her eyes were wild with amazement. I walked over and glanced over her shoulder. “What are you reading?” 

She quickly shut the book and dropped it on the floor. “It’s nothing,” she said.

I picked it up, curious what she was reading. I flipped through the pages and my eyes grew wide with what I saw. I can’t even describe what was in the book. Drawn Pictures of women and men doing unmentionable acts. I stared at my sister in a scolding way. She looked away like she was embarrassed. I, myself, was embarrassed. I hid the book in my skirt and took it with me up to my room. I peaked at it again, before hiding it where no one would find it. I didn’t think it an appropriate book for a library in town, anyway. 

After we ate with Lady Denham, I went back to my room and once again peeked at the book. I was curious and couldn’t help myself. I only looked at a few pages before putting it away and vowing not to look at it again. Although, during the night I had dreams of some of the pictures I had seen in the book mixed with Sidney’s body I had seen at the cove. It was a restless night, to say the least. 

In the morning, I splashed my face with some cold water and pushed the thoughts of the dream away, knowing full well it was wrong and I shouldn't have those thoughts. I was supposed to be moving on with my life. I had to be determined to get over Sidney Parker.

I walked down to see the process on the library cleanout and found Lady Denham discussing renovation plans with someone I’d never met. It was still very early. It seemed an odd time for a meeting. I walked in the room and listened to this man talk about what he thought would be a great look for the room and ran numbers by Lady Denham. He seemed to not have a clue what he was talking about and was planning on charging her far too much. She seemed thrilled though and shook his hand thanking him for his services.

When he went to leave, I curtsied politely towards him before making my way over to his plans he left behind to have a look for myself. “Well, what do you think of Mr. Frank’s ideas? I’ve brought him all the way from London to create the grandest nursery in all of England.”

I gave her a saddened look before I began. “Can I be honest with you?” I asked nervously.

“Of course! I wouldn’t accept anything less.”

“I think his plans are a little ridiculous,” I said. “He’s got a big chunk taken out of the wall here. If you do that, the structure won’t hold. This whole side is the foundation for the rest of the floors of the house. Beyond that, he’s talking of charging you far too much for a simple room design.”

She hummed and observed me for a moment. “What would you suggest then?”

“For starters, I wouldn’t take out the wall.” I scribbled across Mr. Franks plans and changed a few things, added a couple others. 

She came over and saw what I had done and smiled. “I believe you should be getting paid an architect wage with these skills,” she said.

I laughed. “I’m not taking anything for myself. I have no need to.”

“You haven’t worked in a wage for yourself with everything you’re doing?” she asked with a sound of disappointment.”

“What do I need a wage for? I only want Sanditon to be beautiful like it’s meant to be. I’ll do whatever I need to make that happen,” I explained. She observed me for quite some time before turning back to the plans in front of her. I explained a few more details to her and watched as her eyes lit up with excitement. I offered to invite Mr. Stringer out to look at the plans and perhaps oversee the renovation project. He would give her a fair price and know a little more about what he was doing than that Mr. Frank she brought from London. 

“I’m going to insist you take a wage from the Sanditon rebuild,” Lady Denham said.

I shook my head. “I cannot do that.” 

“And why not?” she asked forcefully.

“Mr. Parker has been paying the men’s wages. I don’t want to take his money,” I answered sadly. 

“If Sidney Parker is paying the wages, he must be in possession of his fortune. I asked him to come see me this week, but he has not. I will call on him again. I would like my investment back.”

“If I see him today, I’ll let him know also.”

Alison came down the stairs and looked at me expectantly. We were to meet with Sidney again to practice fighting. She had overslept a little and was now ready to go. But getting by Lady Denham was going to be tough now. 

“Shall we have breakfast before you leave for the day?” Lady Denham asked. 

I looked at Alison with wide eyes. “I think we may just grab a little something to go, Lady Denham,” Alison said. “We have a lot to do today and we want to take advantage of the nice weather.”

“Very well,” she agreed. “Please make sure you take plenty for the afternoon as well.”

“We will,” we said in unison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I contemplated on whether to include a particular book scene. I had to ask my husband, who has never seen Sanditon but probably knows the whole story from me, what he thought. He said to leave it. Later in the story this book will have relevance. Hopefully no one thought it inappropriate.


	19. The Truth Comes Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sort of wanted to name this chapter "Don't kill the writer". Please remember I did promise a Sidlotte HEA. But who doesn't love a little argument between the two of them? Or rather a big argument? They will get there. Some things need to be sorted out first.

~~Sidney~~

I distanced myself from practically everyone during the day and focused on the work at hand. It wasn’t much of a distraction, but at least it kept me busy. I was angry, hurt, frustrated, conflicted. 

Why was Stringer here? It had come very apparent that he wanted Charlotte during the summer months. What bothered me, was how he thought she was a prize to be won. Charlotte was no prize. She was a gift that only she would choose who deserved her. I thought, at one time, I was that man. Now so many men could swoop in and make me be a mere memory of her past. I couldn’t allow it. I had to find a way to earn her trust, her love, and her future back. She was quickly slipping away from me. I could feel it and sense it every time I was near her. I couldn’t continue making her wait for me. I had to come clean. 

When everyone else headed home for the evening, I continued working well into the dark of the night. I had to keep busy, so I wouldn’t go mad. 

“Parker,” Crowe called out. “What on earth are you doing?”

“Trying to get some work done,” I shouted back from the top of the building. 

“Does this have anything to do with Charlotte?” he asked. I huffed and hit the nail with the hammer even harder than before. He crawled up the ladder and stood across from me. “What happened?”

“Stringer is back in town,” I said hitting another nail with as much force as possible. “He instantly swooped in on Charlotte and tried to stake his claim on her. He even held her hand for a moment. She seemed completely drawn to him. They had their moments of flirtatious behavior at times before, which bothered me then, but now it’s different. Now I’m not even in the running.” I hit another nail then slumped down against the wall and leaned back against it. I wasn’t planning to pour my heart out to him, or anyone for that matter. But it just sort of came spilling out of my mouth without my control.

“You could change that, you know. Let her know you didn’t marry Eliza. Let her know you still want her,” he suggested. “You’ll free the rest of us from keeping your secret as well.”

“And how do I do that?” I said angrily. “I’m not entirely free from Eliza yet, nor am I free from Tom’s debt I made my duty to solve. How am I to tell her without any guarantee?”

“You just do,” he said. “Charlotte’s fairly smart and level-headed. I’m sure she can understand the situation and more than likely help you solve the dilemma.”

I sighed and stared blankly at the floor. I contemplated what he said. Would Charlotte understand? I couldn’t be certain. 

Crowe came over and sat down next to me with a sigh. “I don’t understand love, truly I don’t. It amuses me, but I don’t understand it. How does anyone know?”

I chuckled and thought about it for a moment. Before Charlotte, I don’t think I truly understood love either. “I don’t rightly understand it myself. It’s like an overwhelming need to be near them, to be more for them, to give them every piece of yourself without any expectation in return, and knocking every defense down and being utterly vulnerable in their presence. At any moment she could completely destroy you, but you just don’t care any longer. She could rip your heart out and you’d gladly let her. Nothing else in the world even matters anymore, but her. Every breath you take, every little thing you do has a purpose for her. When you find the woman you would give up everything for, just for the slightest return of their affection, that’s when you know. It’s precisely what I plan to do.”

“That sounds rather brutal,” he stated. “Why would anyone willingly want to fall in love if that’s what it means?”

I shook my head and laughed. “It’s the ultimate question of existence. Yet, for thousands of years we’ve continued to do it.”

“I can’t picture myself ever getting to that point with anyone. I think I’d rather not marry at all if that's what it means. Or if I must, I’ll marry for money rather than love. At least I’d be getting something out of it.”

I laughed and thought how not long ago that’s exactly how I felt. 

“I plan to go to London at the end of the week. I have some business matters to attend to,” I said.

“I suppose I’ll join you. I could use a little stimulation from London society.”

“I have a fighting lesson to teach Charlotte and Alison in the morning then work here. I’ll leave at first light the following morning.”

“A fighting lesson?” he questioned saying each word slowly.

I smiled at the sound of his concern. “After Charlotte was attacked by Mr. Fritz, she asked if I could show her how to throw a punch. Of course, I agreed. I wasn’t prepared for her to bring Alison, but it’s probably for the best for them both to know how to protect themselves being here all day.”

“How long has this been going on?” he asked. 

“Just this morning. I’ll meet with them at the cove tomorrow morning and have them practice a little more.”

“I’m not entirely sure why, but the thought of women fighting is quite the turn on,” Crowe said. 

I laughed. “It’s quite unbearable.”

“Perhaps I should join you on this little teaching session just to make sure everything is on the up and up.”

“Suit yourself. I leave for the cove at first light,” I explained. 

“Then we should probably both get some sleep if we have to get up that early in the morning,” he suggested.

“I need to discuss some business matters with Mary anyway. Hopefully she’s still up when I get back to Trafalgar House.”

We both got up off the floor and crawled down the latter to the street to start the walk to the other side of town. Talking with Crowe did help a little. I was still upset about Stringer, but just getting it all out of my system changed the way I felt tremendously.

“Tell me, Crowe,” I began. “How many days is it now without a drink?” It was rather obvious he hadn’t had a drink in a while. He was quite different than his usual drunken self. 

He smirked. “I’ve had one of two here and there. I’m trying not to drink quite as much though.”

“Any particular reason why?” I asked with a smirk.

“I guess I’m just tired of always being the drunken fool that doesn’t amount to much.”

“Not a certain Heywood sister, then?”

“Certainly not,” he laughed. “I’ve barely spoken to Alison since the ball.”

I dropped my head and my forehead wrinkled with confusion. I was sure he was beginning to have feelings for Alison. “I suppose I’m not very good at understanding other’s love lives. First Arthur and now you.”

“What happened with Arthur?” he asked.

I sighed. “Apparently he’s in love with his maid. All along I thought he was trying to gain Georgiana’s affections, but he has no interest in her.”

“Georgiana would eat him alive,” he laughed. 

I joined in his laughter. “You’re probably right.”

By the time I returned to Trafalgar House, everyone was already in their rooms for the night. I needed to discuss some business matters with them, but it would have to wait until the morning. 

At the first sight of morning light, I left the house and headed for the cove. I met Crowe halfway and the both of us walked silently through the cold, misty air. I was rather surprised Crowe actually got up to join me. I suspected he’d decide against it and stay in his warm bed. 

When we arrived, Charlotte and Alison weren’t there, so we sat silently waiting for them. I had come to the conclusion that if Lady Denham accepted my proposition, I’d tell Charlotte everything and hope some miracle would happen with Eliza and I’d be entirely free from her also. 

“When do they normally get here?” Crowe asked. “I’m freezing my ass off.”

“You can always go back to the hotel,” I suggested. 

He sighed. “I’ll wait a little longer.” He wrapped his coat around himself tighter and ducked his face into the collar to keep himself warm. 

Finally, after a very long wait, we heard a carriage approaching. Both Crowe and I stood as they started the climb down the embankment. My heart skipped a beat when I saw Charlotte like it did every time I saw her. 

“Good morning, Mr. Parker,” she said. I smiled but before I could say anything in return, Crowe opened his mouth.

“You’re late!” 

Both girls turned towards him with scowls on their faces. “Good morning to you too, Mr. Crowe. We apologize for keeping both of you waiting. Lady Denham was in a little distress this morning and needed some assistance,” Charlotte explained

“What kind of distress?” I asked.

Charlotte turned her attention back towards me. “She’s having some renovations done and had quite the fool trying to rob her of her fortune. He would have destroyed her home if she had hired him.”

I smirked and looked her up and down. “And you helped her out of her distress?”

“Of course, I did. I redesigned the room and explained what this supposed architect was doing wrong. I’m planning to bring Mr. Stringer by to help her even more.” 

Stringers name leaving her lips caused that angry fire to build in my gut. Did she really want to bring him there for Lady Denham or perhaps it was more for herself? 

“We should get started since we’re getting a late start,” I suggested.

Alison and Charlotte took their positions and began to practice like they had yesterday. Crowe got comfortable on a rock and watched intently. I stood with my arms across my chest giving corrections and support when needed. I showed them a few defensive moves beyond the punching as well as some diversion techniques. Both of them took everything in and found new strength in everything I taught them. 

“Let’s take a break,” I suggested. “You both look a little worn out.” Both of them let their shoulders drop and sighed heavily. 

“I don’t understand why men do this for fun. It’s exhausting,” Alison said.

“Yes, but it’s a great stress relief,” Crowe said. 

“For me, it only causes more tension,” Alison added.

“Perhaps you aren’t doing it correctly. I’m sure those measly punches could barely hurt a fly,” Crowe teased. Alison didn’t seem to like his comment since she glared at him, which caused Crowe to snicker.

“I don’t see you fighting. Perhaps you don’t even know how,” Alison implied.

He laughed. “I assure you, I know how to fight when I need to.”

Alison raised her nose to the air and huffed. “I’m sure you do. Could you even see your opponent in your drunken state?”

Crowe didn’t respond. Instead, he got up and challenged her to practice with him. She hesitantly observed him for a moment before standing and accepting his challenge. There was a new determination in Alison’s face that wasn’t there before. She was bound to show him what she could do.

“This is going to end badly,” Charlotte said standing next to me. As much as I wanted to pay attention to what was happening in front of me, all I could focus on was the heat coming off of Charlotte and consuming me. Every breath I took I breathed her in and consumed her. How badly I wished I could touch her, hold her, to kiss her like we had done on the cliff tops all those weeks ago. Anything.

I tried to focus and could see Alison punching Crowe’s hands with a force she never used on her sister. Every time she punched him, he would laugh causing Alison to get even angrier and hit him harder. Finally, she hit his open hand hard enough that Crowe actually had to shake the sting off. This pleased Alison as she now had a grin on her face.

“Alright, I concede,” Crowe said. “Perhaps you are stronger than I assumed.”

Alison sat down on a rock, now out of breath and sweating but definitely proud of herself. 

“I apologize for my assumptions. As a way to make it up to you, allow me to walk you into town to the building site,” Crowe offered. Alison glared at him for a moment, but ultimately accepted his offer. With them walking along the beach, Charlotte and I were left alone.

“Do you want to head into town as well?” I asked.

“I think I’d like to get a little more practice in,” she said. “I’m not quite sure my punch is hard enough.”

“Show me what you mean,” I asked. 

She stood and got into position and punched towards the air, but I knew what she was talking about almost instantly. “Step into it.”

“Whatever does that mean?” she asked.

“Like this,” I said getting into position and showing her how to take a step with the opposite foot to the hand she’s using to punch with while swinging her fist. She tried it and slightly smiled at getting it so easily. 

I stood in front of her and put my hands up so she could practice on me. She looked at me hesitantly and her mouth hung open for a moment. “You have to practice on someone.”

“I can’t hit you,” she said. 

“You’re not hitting me, you’re practicing,” I assured. She sighed, but ultimately gave in and lightly punched my hands with her balled fists. With every punch my hands warmed from her touch. How badly I wanted to grab her hand and pull her into me. “You’re going to have to hit harder than that.”

Her hands dropped to her side. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

I smirked and raised my eyebrow at her. “I assure you, there’s no possible way you’re going to hurt me.”

“Isn’t that kind of the point when you punch someone; to hurt them?” she asked looking more irritated with my assumption that she wouldn’t hurt me. “What are you teaching me if I can’t hurt someone?”

My arms dropped again. “I didn’t say you wouldn’t hurt someone, just not me. I’ve been boxing since I lived in Antigua, I’m not one to be hurt easily. Now come on,” I pressed. I raised my hands again waiting for her to take her shot. “As hard as you can.”

“I’m not going to hit you,” she said matter-of-factly.

I felt the defeat of her words and let my guard down. “Charlotte, come on.” While I was defenseless, she took her shot. With all her force, she punched me. Yet, since I had dropped my hands thinking she wouldn’t go through with it, instead of putting all her force into my open hand, she punched me in the face. The sting hit me rather hard and I fell backwards against the sand. My hand went to my nose and touched the blood coming out of it. I was in quite a haze when I felt Charlotte kneel down next to me. How on earth had this small woman landed me on my ass?

“Oh,” Charlotte said breathlessly. Her small hand was on my chest while she looked over me. “Are you alright?” Her voice was timid, and her face was full of fear.

“I’m so sorry, Sidney. I didn’t mean to hit you in the face.” 

She pulled up a layer from her skirt and started to wipe the blood from my nose. All I could do was laugh.

“Why are you laughing?” she asked irritated. “Should I get the doctor? Are you in shock?”

I leaned up on my elbows and looked at her with a grin on my face. “I think you have mastered the element of surprise.” 

She let out the breath she was holding then slapped my arm. “Did you do this on purpose?”

“Did I let you hit me in the nose on purpose?” I asked in surprise. “Certainly not.” 

She settled back on the sand and stared at me with questioning eyes. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, I assure you. I’ve had worse injuries,” I said wiping my nose against my shirt sleeve. 

“You had me worried I had really done something horrible,” she said.

“Well you did,” I said. “You learned how to protect yourself. Punch someone like that and you won’t have any trouble again.”

“Isn’t that a good thing? Why is that horrible?” she asked.

I ducked my head to hide my smile. “Now that I won’t have to teach you how to punch someone, I doubt I’ll ever hear you say my name again after today,” I said. 

She stood up and took a step away. “I apologize, Mr. Parker. I shouldn’t have been so forward. I was out of line. I should have known better. I’ll go now.”

She gathered up her coat and started to walk away as quickly as she could. I tried to get back to my feet and chase after her but was struggling just a little. “Charlotte wait,” I called. She stopped but didn’t turn around to face me. I got to my feet and stopped a good distance behind her searching for the right words. “I didn’t marry her.” She turned around with confusion across her face. “I’ve wanted to tell you. I couldn’t go through with the wedding.”

“But you must. You made a promise.”

“I did,” I said taking a step closer to her and looking at the ground before making eye contact with her. “But I made a promise to you first, even if I never got the words out.”

“Mrs. Campion released you?” she asked. My heart skipped a beat knowing I wasn’t entirely free yet.

“She will. I’ve made it perfectly clear I won’t marry her.”

She shook her head and looked confused. “What about Tom and the debt?”

“I’ll find a way to get my brother out of his mess,” I said taking yet another step closer to her. 

“Lady Denham. She’s expecting her money. She’s calling on you to come see her immediately. She’s going to throw Tom and you in the debtor’s prison,” she said.

“Charlotte,” I started now close enough to touch her. “I don’t care. It’s worth it if I can have you in the end.”

Her confusion grew with every word I spoke. “Have you even considered Mary and the children? What will happen to them? What will happen to Sanditon if you don’t pay Lady Denham?”

She was getting angry, which only made me angry. I had thought this would make her happy. We could find a way to be together when all this was over. “I’m tired of sacrificing what I want for my brother mishaps. It’s his doing. He can figure it out.”

She looked hurt. “How can you say that? He’s your brother. He’s depending on you.”

I was getting angrier with every word she said. “Tom isn’t even here in Sanditon. He clearly doesn’t care much for his family if he can’t even face his own debt and expects me to give up everything for him.”

“And what of Sanditon?” she shouted. “Is it just supposed to fall to ruins because you gave up on it?”

I scoffed and looked away for a moment. “What is Sanditon to me? I didn’t ask for any of this, yet here I am expected to sacrifice everything.”

“It’s what you do for family,” she yelled. “It’s what I did for your family. I had accepted our fate. I had let you go because your family means the world to me. You aren’t the only one who sacrificed.”

“And here I am telling you we don’t have to sacrifice anymore,” I shouted forcefully. “Or is it that you’ve already moved on?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” she asked angrily.

“I saw you with Stringer yesterday,” I said matching her anger. “The way he looks at you and you at him. I’m not even convinced Mr. Robinson doesn’t have similar feelings for you. Perhaps you’re stringing both of them along.”

Her mouth hung open with shock. I knew as soon as it left my mouth it was wrong. Angry tears filled her eyes. “Are you accusing me of being a harlot?”

“No. Charlotte… Please…” I sighed with every word, feeling helpless in everything I said.

She turned and started to walk up the beach. I chased after her and grabbed her arm to pull her back. 

She jerked her arm away from me just like I had taught her. “Don’t touch me!” she shouted.

“Please forgive me.”

She stared at me for a moment before speaking again. “First you tell me you’ve been lying to me, then you tell me you don’t care what happens to your family or Sanditon, then you accuse me of being a harlot and I’m supposed to forgive you?”

I swallowed thickly against the lump in my throat. I should have gone on keeping her in the dark until I had it all figured out. My own jealousy of Mr. Stringer got in the way. “Allow me to explain.”

“I don’t need any more explanation. You’ve made it perfectly clear,” she said forcefully. “Now let me make something perfectly clear for you. I will not, nor will I ever be persuaded to marry a man who so easily turns his back on his family or his commitments.”

It felt like my heart had just stopped with her words. 

“Good day, Mr. Parker.” 

I watched as she walked away feeling like my whole world had just ended. I slumped down in the sand and tried to wrap my head around what just happened. There was no way out of any of this. Charlotte was lost to me for good.

~~Alison~~

“Thank you for walking with me,” Mr. Crowe said as we walked up the beach towards town together. “I felt like it might be a good idea to give them two a moment alone. The tension between them is suffocating.”

I laughed. “You sense it too? I would have never agreed to learn how to fight nor would I have allowed Charlotte if you hadn’t told me about Mr. Parker not marrying Mrs. Campion so he could be with Charlotte. She still loves him. I think she’s just afraid of her feelings.”

“I think it might be true for Sidney as well. He’s been hurt by love in the past and it truly terrifies him to give himself to someone else.”

“You speak of love as if you have some authority on the subject. Have you ever been in love, Mr. Crowe?” I asked.

“I can’t say that I have. But, watching my two best friends fall in love has given me a lot of perspective on the matter. Mr. Parker describes his love for Charlotte in quite an intolerable way. I can’t imagine myself ever being that out of control.”

“Perhaps, love is similar to being drunk,” I said. “You lose all control of your senses, you give yourself to the sensation the alcohol assures you, you long for your next drink, and you sacrifice everything for just a small amount.”

“When you put it that way, it makes perfect sense,” he said with a grin. “Makes me believe you have some authority on love.”

“I’m afraid you’d be mistaken,” I said with a smile. “My only experience with love is watching my own parent’s relationship. They would do practically anything for each other.”

“I can only imagine how much they love each other, having twelve kids and all,” he said with a chuckle causing me to stifle a laugh.

“I did want to ask you something,” I began. “It has to do with my family.”

“Oh?” 

“My brother is getting married in Willingden during the time the Prince Regent and Lady Worchester visit. Charlotte and I are torn in both directions. If it’s possible, we were hoping to make a day trip to Willingden to be there for the wedding and then come right back. We would just need someone with a carriage who might be willing to accompany us there.”

“Are you asking if you can borrow my carriage?” he questioned.

“You’d be invited to the wedding as well. It’ll be a small country affair, with lots of food, lots of drinks, plenty of amusement,” I said hoping to entice him.

He hesitated for a moment before answering. I couldn’t tell if that was a good sign or not. “I’m afraid I won’t be in Sanditon when the Prince Regent is here.”

“Oh, I thought…”

He stopped and turned towards me. “The thing is, I’m leaving for London with Mr. Parker tomorrow and I don’t think I’ll be returning. I apologize if it’s not what you were hoping to hear.”

“No need to apologize. We have already sent a letter to our family informing them we wouldn’t be able to attend. I only thought it was worth a try.”

“If something changes, I’ll let you know,” he said. 

I smiled and nodded my head. “I appreciate the gesture. I think I’ll walk back and check on Charlotte.” I turned and began walking in the opposite direction we were headed.

“Would you like me to walk with you?”

“I’m perfectly well. Thank you, though.” I walked away faster, so he didn’t see my distress. I was sure he would say yes. While we’ve both been at the building site, we have talked a few times. Mostly our talks have been about the building or how we got roped into a project neither of us wanted to be involved in, yet here we were. We had a mutual understanding of each other, and he was growing on me as a friend. I couldn’t blame him for not being available. It wasn’t as if he rejected me of his own free will, he just wasn’t available. I could accept that.

I saw Charlotte running up the beach looking dreadfully distressed. As she got closer, I could see she was crying. There was also blood on her dress. I had a terrified feeling go through me. What had Mr. Parker done?” I ran to her and she collided into me and cried. ‘What happened?” I asked.

She shook her head against my shoulder and tightened her arms around me. “Did he hurt you? Are you alright?”

She released her arms and took a step away, but I didn’t release my arms from her shoulders. “I’m fine,” she insisted, wiping away her tears.

“You aren’t fine, Charlotte. What did he do?”

“He didn’t marry her,” she said between cries. 

“Are you not happy?” I asked.

“How can I be happy about it? What will happen to Sanditon?” she cried.

“Are you more concerned about Sanditon than your own happiness?” I asked. “Charlotte you love him. If he’s willing to give up everything for you, isn’t that enough?”

She took a step back and stared at me with large eyes, tears still streamed down her face. “Did you know?” she asked.

I sighed and looked down. “I only found out at the ball from Mr. Crowe.”

“And you kept it from me?” she asked taking another step away from me. 

“Charlotte, I was sworn to secrecy. He wanted to tell you on his own terms.”

“How could you?” Fresh tears ran down her cheeks. She turned away from me and ran towards the water. 

“Charlotte!” I called. She wouldn’t listen and just kept running. I knew she needed time alone to process the information she was given. I hoped she would understand and forgive not only Mr. Parker but also me.

I finished the walk to the building site where Mr. Stringer and Mr. Robinson had already directed the men with Charlotte’s absence. 

“Miss Heywood,” Mr. Robinson greeted. “Where might Charlotte be?”

“I’m afraid my sister is a little out of sorts today. I’m not sure she will be coming in. Is there something I might be able to help you with?” 

They both gave me concerned expressions. “Is she ill?” Mr. Stringer asked.

I smiled trying to reassure them she wasn’t ill. “She will be fine. I think she just needs some time to herself for a little bit.”

“We just need her to look over a few changes before we move forward,” Mr. Robinson explained unfolding some papers in front of me to look at.

“Miss Heywood!” Arthur greeted politely. “Where might the other Miss Heywood sister be? I’m in need of my assignment for the day.”

“I’m not sure what…”

“Miss Heywood, where might Charlotte be?” Mr. Parker asked breathlessly from behind me.

“Miss Heywood,” Mr. Crowe said. “Could I perhaps have a moment of your time?”

I was overwhelmed with all of them. All needing Charlotte. All having their own agendas for her presence. All not understanding how much pressure she was under with the lot of them. 

“I…” 

“Alison,” Charlotte said walking up behind us. “Please take a moment to talk to Mr. Crowe. Arthur, can you please go to the post office and check if we’ve had any packages? Please check for my own personal mail as well.” She looked pained and I could tell she had splashed some cold sea water on her face since her hair was still damp. Her clothing was wet where I saw blood earlier as if she tried to wash it out. Despite all of that, she looked at all of the men with a coldness to her. She had changed in a matter of moments from distressed to hardened. 

“Yes, miss,” Arthur said running off towards the post office. 

“Mr. Parker, I have no interest in talking to you right now. Please either help with the rebuild or go about your business.”

“Mr. Stringer and Mr. Robinson, what is it you needed?” she asked stepping towards the papers Mr. Robinson had laid out. 

I looked at Mr. Parker who for a moment looked as if he couldn’t move no matter how much he tried. He looked just as pained as Charlotte but also appeared to have had a bloody nose. I could only imagine my sister had punched him in the face. What might have he done to cause her to punch him? 

“Miss Heywood?” Mr. Crowe said breaking me from my fixation on Sidney Parker.

I walked towards Mr. Crowe and followed him a distance away from everyone else. “What is it?”

“I wanted to make sure you weren’t too upset,” he said looking at me intently like he was looking for a sign of my distress.

“I’m more concerned with my sister right now. Mr. Parker told her, and she’s rather distressed. I’m not entirely sure why. I thought she would be happy.”

“I would think the same thing.”

“I need to go see to her. Please excuse me,” I said. 

Now that all the men had dispersed, I walked over to Charlotte and put my hand on her shoulder. She shrugged me away. “I’m fine, Alison. You don’t need to fuss.”

“Of course, I do. You’re my sister. I’d do anything for you.”

She turned towards me and fresh tears sprung to her eyes. “Right now, I need you to let me be,” she said.

I nodded my head and walked away even if it was only a few feet away. I had no plans to leave her side for the day. 

She immersed herself in work, even getting in the middle of things by laying bricks or swinging a hammer. She was taking her anger or maybe her hurt out by building and creating. Everyone around her could sense something was wrong, but she didn’t let on what it was to anyone. I didn’t even know what all happened. She just worked harder, built faster, directed everyone with a force I never knew she had. I didn’t quite know what to think of my sister. She had definitely changed in the time she’d been in Sanditon. I’m not sure it was for the better. Perhaps Mr. Parker wasn’t good for her after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to give a huge THANK YOU for all the comments and kudos. All of you make me laugh, make me smile, sometimes even make me cry happy tears. You are all the sweetest and are definitely making these quarantine days bearable. I'm horrible at responding to comments. Hopefully you'll all forgive me. I just figure all of you would rather have me write a new chapter in my limited spare time than respond to comments. If you really need an answer to something or you're confused by something, I will do my best to answer those type of comments. Thanks for reading.


	20. London

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rose needs our votes! Go spend the last few hours of the contest voting for her in the Enews TV's Top Leading Lady of 2020. She's barely hanging on by a thread. Voting ends Thursday, April 23rd at 12pm PT.

~~Sidney~~

Crowe and I sat in the carriage across from each other silently. Both of us distracted with our own thoughts. My thoughts of Charlotte, of course. I never did get a chance to talk to her, not that she would have talked to me anyway. She was avoiding me. I didn’t blame her. I had once again ruined everything. I was about to give up on love, give up on being happy. Clearly, I wasn’t marriage material. How many times could the universe tell me before I finally got it. Yet here I was about to make another attempt to fix the situation to prove to Charlotte I was worthy of her. 

When we pulled up in front of the London House, Crowe got out and bid me farewell before heading down the street. I had an idea where he was headed. There was a pub just down the street and he seemed like he needed a drink badly. I hadn’t a clue what was bothering him, but I had my own issues to deal with. I brought my bag into the house and put it away before heading to the bank. I had a plan. I hoped it would work.

I walked into the bank and met with a banker I’d known for years. I explained how I needed to pay off my brother’s debts with the bank then look into securing a loan in my own name. I had already talked to the bank the last time I came trying to get my brother out of debt, but at the time, I was trying to get my brother a loan, not myself. With my name on the loan, it had to work. 

Unfortunately, they didn’t give me quite as much as I needed. I withdrew just about everything I had plus the loan. I had already exhausted every connection I had asking for loans or investments the last time I came to London. There wasn’t anything else I could do. 

I walked into the pub and searched the crowded room for Crowe. He sat alone at a corner table deep in thought. I sat down across from him and poured myself a drink from the bottle sitting at the table. He barely noticed I had sat down. 

“Something bothering you?” I asked. 

He took a sharp breath in and finally rose his eyes, noticing me for the first time. 

“I didn’t see you there, Parker.” 

“Clearly.”

I took a drink and watched as his head dropped again and his forehead wrinkled with worry. 

“What’s gotten into you?” I asked taking another drink.

He rose his eyes again before dropping them again. “I’m conflicted, I guess.”

“About what?” I asked with a smirk.

“I’m not one to feel guilty for my actions. I own what I do and what I say quite easily. Yet, at the moment I’m having an overwhelming amount of guilt consume me,” he explained.

I poured another drink and leaned back in my chair. “Guilt about what?”

He sighed and shook his head. “I’m not quite sure. It shouldn’t be bothering me so much. It’s not like I lied to her. I don’t plan to return to Sanditon.”

I rose an eyebrow. “Does this have anything to do with Alison?”

He nodded his head, still deep in thought. “She asked if I could accompany her and Charlotte in my carriage back to Willingden for their brother’s wedding next week. Apparently, it’s during the Prince Regent visit so they want to rush there and come right back practically unnoticed by anyone of importance.”

“And you told her you couldn’t?” 

“Yes, but now I just feel horrible. The look on her face still plays in my mind. And afterwards she took off looking for Charlotte then wouldn’t talk to me all day during the rebuild.”

“I thought you didn’t care about Alison?” I asked with a knowing look on my face.

“I don’t!” he assured. “I just like teasing her. She’s easy to talk to once we came to an understanding.”

“Sounds to me as if you do,” I pointed out taking another drink to hide my grin. 

“Is that what this is?” he asked with a confused look on his face. “Am I having guilt because I have feelings for her?”

“Let me ask you something,” I began sitting up and leaning against the table. “Did you give up drinking because Lady Denham asked you to or because you wanted to for her? Did you continue to not drink because you wanted to be taken seriously by everyone around you or because you wanted to be taken seriously by her? Does it bother you that she didn’t like the answer you gave her or because you think you hurt her?”

He slumped back in his chair and stared at me with a dumbfounded look on his face. 

“Let me ask you one more question,” I said. “If you never see her again, can you survive it?”

He thought it over for only a moment before jumping from his chair. “Have you finished whatever business you need to attend to here in London?”

“Not entirely,” I answered with a confused expression. 

“Can you finish up so we can get going back to Sanditon?” he said.

I smiled. “I thought you weren’t going back?”

“I think I have to. As surprising as it might sound, I think I’m in love.”

I downed the rest of my drink and stood. I put my hand on his shoulder and smiled. “I’ll finish up and be ready to leave in an hour or two,” I said. As much as I had seen it coming for a while, I wasn’t sure he’d receive a favorable answer from Alison. Especially now with Charlotte suffering from another broken heart at my doing. She seemed like the type of sister who wouldn’t dare enjoy happiness while her sister grieved. On top of that, she seemed to have an indifference to Crowe that I didn’t think she could let go of so easily. He was going to have to do something to earn her trust. Much like I was going to have to do for Charlotte. At the moment, she wasn’t even going to let me try, but in time, I had hope we could work out our differences. I might be holding on to something impossible, but I wasn’t ready to give up just yet. 

After quickly finishing up my business affairs, I met Crowe back at the house with the carriage ready to go. He was anxious to get going and hurried the driver through town.

“Easy, Crowe. We don’t want to go over in a carriage accident in your pursuit of a young lady,” I teased.

“Aren’t you too in pursuit of a young lady?” he asked. 

I dropped my head. “I’m afraid that pursuit is unobtainable at the moment. It’ll take far more than I have right now to win her trust back.”

“Is this really what love is?” he asked changing the subject. “I feel like I might burst if we don’t get there soon enough.”

“You realize she might say no. Have you given her any indication that you may be interested?” I asked.

“I’ll find a way to convince her,” he decided. 

“If I were you, I’d think about a grand gesture. A girl like Alison or even Charlotte, they won’t say yes to the first man who asks. They want to know the depths of your feelings. They want to know it’s true.”

“What would you suggest?” he asked. 

“I couldn’t tell you, to be honest. I’ve failed in every attempt. I hope you have better luck than I did.”

“I’ll have to think on what grand gesture I can offer her.”

The rest of the ride was rather silent. The thought of Crowe and Alison forming a potential engagement saddened me even more. How would Charlotte feel if her younger sister was to be engaged before her? Would Alison even engage herself to Crowe? If Charlotte would have just listened to me instead of getting upset and leaving me, perhaps things would be different. If I had a chance to explain. If I hadn’t let my jealousy get in the way.

Now I had one goal in mind that I hoped would be the grand gesture to make Charlotte see the true devotion I have for her and for my family.

At some point during the ride, I dozed off and didn’t wake until we arrived back in Sanditon at dawn. Crowe hopped out of the carriage and quickly headed down the street.

“Crowe!” I yelled. He stopped and turned around. “Perhaps you should let her wake up before you bombard her with a proposal.”

“Right!” he said walking back towards me. 

“Why don’t you come in and have breakfast with my family before you run off to engage yourself to a woman.”

We walked into the house and saw Mary sitting in the front room. “Sidney, you’re back already?” she asked standing from her chair and meeting us halfway. 

“Mr. Crowe here has an agenda to attend to,” I teased. “We’ve come to enjoy breakfast before his pursuit.”

“Please, sit down. Breakfast will be served momentarily,” Mary offered. 

“Thank you, Mary.”

“I wanted to talk to you, Sidney,” Mary began. “I received a letter from Tom. He’s on his way to India. He seems to think there’s potential investors there.”

He’s such a fool, I thought. He’s going to end up getting himself killed with all his bad business dealings. I couldn’t handle it. “Did he say when he’d be back?”

“No, unfortunately. I would assume it’ll be at least a few months. I do plan to write to him in hopes he will return as soon as possible. Knowing Tom, I doubt he will listen.”

“Right,” I said disappointed. “Well, let’s all hope for the best in his endeavors.”

We sat silently while waiting for breakfast to be served. I questioned if I should go after him and drag him back, but there was too much to be done here in Sanditon for me to leave now. If I didn’t see Lady Denham soon, she was bound to send me to debtor’s prison in Tom’s absence. 

Shortly after we arrived, Diana came down and joined us looking frail and tired. The children came bounding in just as breakfast was being put on the table. Everyone ate and chatted about their day. Henry sat on my lap while he devoured his plate of food. I barely touched my plate and passed it on to Henry when he finished off his own. He was a growing boy, after all. Arthur arrived just as everyone was finishing up and the children were being ushered off to the nursery.

“You just missed breakfast, Arthur,” Diana said.

“Oh,” he said disappointed while he stared at the empty dishes on the table. “Quite alright, I’ve already eaten.”

“Will you escort me to Dr. Fuchs today? I have a splitting headache. I’ll need to see if he has something to relieve the pain.”

“Of course,” he agreed with a smile. 

“Before you leave,” I began, pausing to make sure everyone was listening. “I need to discuss some business with all of you.”

Everyone sat down and stared at me with concerned expressions. “Go on. What is it?” Mary pressured. 

“I don’t think this involves me. I’ll take my leave. Thank you for breakfast, Mrs. Parker,” Crowe said standing to his feet and grabbing his hat. I stood and gave him an encouraging pat on the back with a smile and a nod. He looked like he was about to vomit, but gave me a smile and walked out. 

I sat back down and got comfortable.

“Is Mr. Crowe alright?” Mary asked.

“I suppose we will find out when we see him next. He’s about to ask a woman to marry him,” I answered with a smirked.

Everyone, including Arthur, gushed with excitement for him. “Who might he be asking?” Diana questioned.

“Miss Alison Heywood,” I said nonchalantly. Their expressions turned to confusion.

“I wasn’t aware they were acquainted,” Mary said.

“They’ve met quite a few times. I admit, most of their interactions have not been on friendly terms, yet something happened between them to make Crowe think he has fallen in love with her,” I explained.

“How exciting!” Arthur said. “Another wedding to attend before the winter months.”

I gave him a questioning look which he clearly picked up on and shook his head indicating to only me that he had not done the same and asked a certain girl to marry him. 

“Back to the business at hand,” I began. “The situation has not changed. We need to pay Lady Denham the debt Tom incurred and soon. I’ve cleared out my bank account, acquired a bank loan, had papers written up stating she will now be the owner of my business, and that our London home will now be hers.”

“Sidney!” Mary gasped.

“You can’t!” Diana shouted. “Where will we live?”

“It’s either the London home of Trafalgar House. We have no choice,” I explained. 

“I’m comfortable here,” Arthur said. “I’ll offer up my inheritance as well. I’ll need to make some arrangements for my maid, but I’ll leave my rented home and come stay here.”

I patted him on the back. “Thank you, brother. For now, hold on to the inheritance. We may need it to start up a new business we can begin to profit from.”

Mary looked sad, but ultimately agreed. “It is my husband’s debt. I see we don’t have much of a choice.”

“Diana?” I urged.

“What would Lady Denham need with our home anyway?” she asked.

“It’s property she would have ownership over,” I explained. “She could rent it out or even sell it. It’s worth quite a lot.”

Diana gasped. “She would sell our childhood home? I can’t bear it.”

I closed my eyes and sighed. “Diana, we have no choice unless you want Tom and myself in debtor’s prison. I promised to pay this debt on Tom’s behalf so I too, will be thrown in prison.”

“Or you could follow through with your promise and marry Mrs. Campion,” she yelled.

“Or you could find some rich man you don’t love and marry him,” I shouted back. 

“Sidney,” Mary said in an attempt to calm me. 

I sighed again and stood from my chair to pace the floor and clear my head. “I got us into this mess. If you don’t all agree, I won’t go through with it. But at this point, even with the house, the business, and all the money I’ve been able to acquire, it’s still not enough. I’m hoping Lady Denham will work out some sort of agreement with me. I know one thing; I’d rather go to prison for a few years than be enslaved by Mrs. Campion for a lifetime. I’m asking all of you to understand the predicament I’m in and have some compassion for my situation.”

“Of course, Sidney,” Mary agreed.

Arthur nodded.

We all looked at Diana waiting breathlessly for her answer. She exhaled a breath rather dramatically. “I suppose I don’t have a choice, now do I?”

I let out the breath I was holding and smiled. I reached across the table and took her hands in mine. “Thank you, Diana. Someday I will make it up to you. I promise.”

For the rest of the day, I went over all the finances and dealings I had written up, so I was sure what all I had to offer Lady Denham. Arthur went to the building site to help Charlotte like he had been all week. He seemed to be really enjoying the work he was doing, even if it wasn’t much. After Diana saw the doctor for something to ease her suffering, she and Mary took the children out for a stroll and a picnic since it was another nice day. When I felt like my plan was in place the best it could be, I headed out to Sanditon House. I knew Charlotte would be at the building site for the day, which made this much easier. 

I rode up in front of Sanditon House and took a deep breath. I had to hope Lady Denham would be a reasonable woman. 

I was ushered into the drawing room where I waited for Lady Denham for quite some time. When she finally emerged, she looked a little disheveled. I wondered if I had awoken her from an afternoon nap. Or maybe she was ill again. 

“I was beginning to think you were avoiding me, Mr. Parker,” she said. 

I bowed in greeting and tightened my jaw. “To be frank, I was, Lady Denham.”

“And why is that, Mr. Parker?”

I straightened my shoulders and took a deep breath while she strolled past me and sat down in a chair. “I have no way of paying the full debt Tom incurred.”

She looked angry. “What do you mean you have no way to pay it?”

I dropped my eyes. “I’m asking you to understand my dilemma and perhaps have a little compassion.”

“You haven’t answered my question, Mr. Parker,” she said irately. “I was assured your wife was the richest woman in London. Was that a lie?”

“I couldn’t marry Mrs. Campion,” I blurted. “I love another and couldn’t go through with marrying someone else for money alone.” I breathed a sigh of relief with getting out in the open. 

She took a deep breath and let it out through her nose in an annoyed manner. “And what is your plan now; to let Tom go to debtor’s prison?”

“Like I mentioned, I’m hoping you’ll be understanding.” I walked across the room to be closer to her and show her what I had written up. “I have emptied my bank account. I will need to pay the workers at the building site, but other than that, I’m giving it all to you. I’ve also had papers written up stating you will have full ownership of my London business as well as our family home in London. With everything, it comes to about thirty-five thousand pounds.”

“That’s not quite the amount owed,” she reminded.

I dropped my head. “I know. My offer also includes me continuing to pay the debt in installments until it’s paid in full. We can have something written up stating I will continue to pay whoever your heir is as well.”

She looked at me questioningly. “Are you trying to kill me off like everyone else, Mr. Parker?”

“I’m just stating the obvious that paying off the debt may take many years.”

“If you are handing over your business, how exactly do you plan to make money?” she wondered.

“I have investments in various companies. If money starts coming in from some of them, it’ll all go to you. I’ve also become quite good in building a business. I can do again.”

“And how exactly are you planning to fund a new business venture?” 

“I have friends all over the world. I’m sure they would help me out,” I explained.

“Yet none of them were willing to give you any money to pay off your debts,” she stated. 

My head dropped again. “No.”

“And how do you plan to live?” she wondered.

“I’ll live at Trafalgar House with Mary and Tom. I won’t need much. I assure you, Lady Denham, I will pay the debt in full. I won’t break a promise.”

She snickered. “You’ve already broken plenty of promises. You promised to pay the debt in full. You also promised to marry a certain wealthy woman and apparently broke that engagement off. I believe you broke promises to another young lady as well. How am I to believe you won’t break this promise?”

“It’s in writing. If I don’t follow through, you’ll have every right to throw me in debtor’s prison,” I explained.

“I have every right to throw you in debtor’s prison now; including Tom,” she yelled.

I sighed and dropped my head again. “I’m asking you to give me a chance,” I pleaded. 

She sighed heavily and studied me for a moment. “I’ll have to look all of this over and give you my decision in a couple days.”

I let out a sigh of relief. At least she was willing to consider it. “Thank you, Lady Denham.”

She hummed a response and shooed me away with her hand while she looked over the documents I presented her with. This had to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and for all the sweet comments. We will have a Charlotte POV next.


	21. Lead The Way, Admiral Heywood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes! I think I made some readers upset. I know this is hard to read. We all want Sidney to catch a break. I can't guarantee that will happen anytime soon, but this is a sweeter chapter. I enjoyed writing this chapter and there are others like this on the way. I've predicted this story ending somewhere around 28-30 chapters so we are getting close to the end. At that point, I may continue with a little more spice (are they still called lemons?), but the story itself will have a proper ending. If some choose not to read the more erotic stuff they can be satisfied knowing the ending was the HEA we are all after.

~~Charlotte~~

I had spent more time than ever working at the building site. At night when I wasn’t working, I was either crying or angry. Sidney Parker had hurt me more now than he ever had before. I still couldn’t believe he had lied to me all this time and then accused me of showing favor towards Mr. Stringer and Mr. Robinson. He probably assumed I led Mr. Fritz on as well and I deserved what he did at the ball. I was done fighting with him. If I never saw Sidney Parker again, I’d be perfectly well. He’s always inspired an anger in me. Lady Susan led me to believe I was in love with him and I began to believe her, especially when I saw how Sidney had similar feelings for me. But now, I don’t think I ever loved him. I think I enjoyed the thought of being in love and the thought of someone loving me in return. Now I realize, I was naïve and should have known better than to fall in love with someone like Mr. Sidney Parker. 

“Charlotte,” Mr. Stringer said quietly, breaking me from my thoughts. I stopped hammering the nail and stood up to face him. “I believe the nail has been pushed into the wood as far as it’ll go.” I looked down and saw the indentations from the hammer in the wood from hitting it far too many times. I sighed, then put the hammer down. “Are you alright?”

“I’ve been better. But I’ll be fine,” I assured.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

“No. Thank you, though,” I smiled trying to fake a good mood.

“I’m on my way out to see Lady Denham as you requested. Would you like to take the rest of the day off and walk with me out there?” he asked.

I thought about it for a moment and knew I couldn’t. If Sidney thought I was doing something inappropriate with Mr. Stringer, I’m sure others thought the same thing. I wasn’t about to give anyone anything else to gossip about. 

“I should probably stay here. Lady Denham is expecting you,” I said picking up the hammer and turning around to go back to work.

“Alright,” he said hesitantly. He started to walk away but stopped again. “You know if something is bothering you, I’m always available to talk to.”

I smiled halfheartedly. “Thank you.”

I continued to work, trying hard to focus on what I was doing rather than on the thoughts consuming me. I saw Mr. Robinson nearby watching me intently, which made me uneasy. Was Sidney right about Mr. Robinson having feelings for me? I truly hoped not. 

“Charlotte!” Mary’s voice called out. I stopped and looked down to see her waving at me. I waved back and headed for the ladder to go down and see her. I felt horrible for not taking the time to go see her and the children since they’d been back in town. I hadn’t had time to even see Georgiana lately. 

“It’s so good to see you, Mary,” I greeted giving her a hug. 

“I’ve missed you, as have the children. The girls ask about you every day,” she said.

“I will make the time to go visit them soon,” I promised.

“Precisely why I’m here. Diana and I are taking the children for a picnic later today and we were wondering if you’d be able to join us. Of course, Alison is invited as well.”

I thought about it for a moment. “I’m not sure I should leave,” I said hesitantly. 

“Don’t worry about us, Miss Heywood,” Mr. Robinson interrupted. When he came up behind me, I jumped. I didn’t like him coming up behind me and truly wanted him to leave. “You deserve an afternoon off. You work harder than anyone here.”

“Thank you, Mr. Robinson,” I said without looking at him. He understood the lack of acknowledgment and walked away, thankfully. 

“He is right, you do work harder than all these men. You are starting to worry me. You look pale and quite exhausted. Take an afternoon off. I think it’s just what you need.”

A carefree picnic with Mary and the children did sound enticing. “Would you mind if I invited Georgiana? I have neglected her this week and she probably needs an afternoon away.”

“Of course. Invite whoever you like,” Mary said with a smile. 

“I’ll be ready in an hour.”

After letting Arthur know I was going to be leaving for the rest of the day, I went to go find Alison. She was in one of the apartments painting and quickly took me up on my offer to take the rest of the afternoon off. We walked down to Mrs. Griffith’s place and visited Georgiana. 

“It’s about time!” Georgiana shouted. “I thought you both abandoned me. I’ve had no visitors or anything exciting to do all week.”

I looked at Alison and we both had guilty expressions. “We apologize, Georgiana. We’ve been so busy at the rebuild. It’s only a week away before the Prince Regent arrives,” I said.

“Who cares about the Prince Regent visiting? It’s just another powerful man who thinks he has control over everything,” Georgiana complained. 

“It’s an important step for the town of Sanditon to be fashionable. We want Sanditon to be prosperous,” I reminded.

“I don’t care about Sanditon. I’m only here because both of you are here,” she reminded. 

“Then how about we get out of here for the rest of the day?” Alison suggested. “We’ve been invited to have a picnic with Mary Parker.”

“Anything is better than being stuck in this dreary room,” she said. She grabbed her coat and followed us out into the street. We walked down to Trafalgar house and met Mary and Diana with the children ready to go. One of Mary’s many servants carried a picnic basket as well as a couple blankets. The nanny carried little James along with a basket or toys.”

“It’s so good to see you again, Georgiana,” Mary greeted. “You too, Alison. I feel like it’s been a lifetime since we’ve seen all of you.”

“I agree,” I said. “We should try to get together more often.”

I wrapped my arm around hers as we began to walk down the street. Jenny grabbed my hand and Alicia took Mary’s while little Henry led the way in front of us. Diana walked a step behind us while Georgiana and Alison walked a distance behind talking secretively. I wondered what they were talking about. Alison seemed distant today, but she never let on why.

“Where should we picnic, girls?” Mary asked. “Down by the river, perhaps?”

“We could go out by Sanditon House?” I suggested. “We won’t be bothered there, and we’d have plenty of room for the children to run.”

“You don’t think Lady Denham would mind?”

“Surely not. We won’t be too close to the house. She won’t even know we are there. I saw that group of deer the other day, perhaps if we are quiet, we will see them again,” I told the children. 

“Time for a hunting party!” Henry shouted. 

“We will have to arm ourselves with our hunting rifles,” I said playfully. 

“Have you ever gone hunting, Charlotte?” Jenny asked. 

“I surely have. My father taught me how to hunt when I was very little. Then I taught my younger siblings.”

“If I remember correctly, Charlotte and Alison were on a hunting excursion with some of their siblings when they found your father and I in our overturned carriage,” Mary reminded. 

“You are right. We were hunting rabbits,” I said. “Suddenly there was a carriage coming down the road going far too fast and we watched it tumble over. My siblings and I went running across the field to go help your parents out of their wreckage. It was quite exciting!”

“Exciting!” Mary shouted. “It was terrifying.”

I laughed. 

“How many siblings do you have, Charlotte?” Alicia asked.

“Other than Alison, I have ten more at home in Willingden.”

“Ten!” Henry shouted from in front of us. “Are any of them boys?”

I laughed. “Quite a few of them are. My eldest brother is to be married next week.”

“Any boys my age?” he clarified. 

“I have a brother just your age, Henry. You two would be as thick as thieves,” I said.

“Will we ever get to meet them?” Jenny asked.

“Perhaps someday,” I said. A part of me knew it probably would never happen. I knew mother and father would never bring all of them to Sanditon for a visit. I doubted Mary would ever wish to go to Willingden again, especially with the children in tow. 

“Could you teach me how to hunt?” Alicia asked in a small, timid voice. 

“Alicia, you are a lady. There’s no need for you to hunt,” Mary scolded.

I took offense to what she said. “I don’t believe there’s any reason why girls shouldn’t know how to survive. Hunting is a survival skill, is it not?”

“I just mean, they have no reason to do so. Not even Tom takes pleasure in the sport,” Mary excused.

“I brought our boats, Charlotte,” Alicia said changing the subject. “Is there any water where we can have another race?”

“We might be able to find some,” I said smiling at her. "If not, we will walk down by the river."

“We are sure to win. Poor Henry doesn’t have Uncle Sidney to help him,” Jenny teased. The mention of his name tightened my heart. 

“Perhaps I should be a deserter and fight for the opposition this time,” I suggested. “It’s not fair if poor Henry is ambushed by the three of us girls, is it?” Henry turned around with the biggest grin on his face. I smiled back at him and winked.

“Charlotte, you are so good with the children. How do you always know what to say to them?” Diana asked. 

“I guess it’s just growing up with lots of younger siblings. I had to entertain them somehow,” I explained.

"I have yet to find anything you aren't good at," Mary added. 

"There are plenty of things. Ask Alison." I laughed and turned around to join Alison in the conversation, but she and Georgiana were deep in conversation far behind us. 

We walked the rest of the way out to Sanditon House and set up a blanket under a tree a good distance away from the house. We ate and had lots of fun with the children. I was glad Mary talked me into going. I think a day away from the building site was exactly what I needed. I felt better by the moment. 

After running and playing with the children for quite some time, I plopped back down on the blanket with Mary. 

“You are looking much better, my dear,” Mary said. 

I sighed, still a little out of breath from our imaginary hunting trip. “I definitely needed this, Mary. Thank you for making me come. I guess I hadn’t realized how much I was working to get Sanditon ready for the Prince Regent’s visit. I’m running myself into the ground."

“I imagine Sidney being present isn’t making things any easier,” Mary said. “He did let on that he told you he broke off the engagement.”

I dropped my head and furrowed my eyebrow. “I’m more bothered that he’s sacrificing his family for his own desires.”

“He still loves you, Charlotte. Everything he does is for you. You can’t blame him for desiring you.”

“Does it not bother you that he’s sacrificing his family by breaking off his engagement and going back on his word to Lady Denham?”

“If there’s one thing I know about Sidney Parker, he always comes out of difficult times stronger and wiser. I believe this time is no different. I don’t blame him for falling in love with you. Who wouldn’t?”

“How do you know what Sidney’s thinking? As a matter of fact, he’s never once told me he loves me,” I spat, getting angry and trying hard not to show my true feelings. “He’s still very much a mystery. I’m fairly certain that’s how he wants it to be.”

“Charlotte, you can’t be serious,” Mary said gently. “I know you care about him as he does you. I wish you would give him a chance to explain.”

“No matter. Even if he does have feelings for me, I’ve decided to put him from my mind and move on. I’m not going to hold on to some illusion of us being together.”

“Not every love story is easy, my dear. Sometimes it takes work. Sometimes it takes time. Sometimes it takes two people to put aside their differences and truly listen to the other.” 

I thought about what she said and stared off in the distance. I had made my decision. Nothing she said was going to change my mind. 

As I was staring out in the distance, I saw a figure walking towards us. “Who might that be?” I said standing to my feet and using my hand to block the sun so I could see better. 

Mary stood also to look. “I can’t tell from here. Was Lady Denham expecting anyone?”

“Not that I know of,” I said. “But I don’t always know about her guests.”

Diana, who had been resting under the shade a distance away, heard the commotion and stood up as well to come over and have a look for herself. “Is that not my brother, Arthur?”

“I do believe you’re right, Diana,” Mary said. “I can’t make out who the woman with him is.”

Alison quieted the children and she and Georgiana brought them closer to us. We all stared out at the mystery woman walking with Arthur until she was within sight. None of us knew who she was, but she was dressed well and seemed to be a woman of higher standards. Her hair was up with a rather fancy hat on her head.

We curtsied to greet her as did she. Arthur walked up breathless and holding his belly. Diana fussed over him and eased him down on the blanket. 

“A drink, please,” Arthur requested in nothing more than a whisper. 

“Of course, brother,” Diana said, quickly pouring him a drink and handing it to him. 

Without Arthur to introduce us properly to the mystery young woman, we stared at each other nervously until she finally spoke. “I’m looking for Lady Denham.”

“Lady Denham is more than likely in the house just up the road,” I explained. “Might I ask who you are?”

“I’m Mrs. Stringer. I was told my husband was out this way doing work for Lady Denham,” she explained.

“You’re Mrs. Stringer?” I asked excitedly. “Mr. Stringer talked about you quite fondly. I’m Miss Heywood.”

“Oh yes,” she said with questioning eyes. “My husband has spoken of you.”

“I’d be happy to walk you up to the house,” I offered noticing how Arthur was probably not going to escort her any further than he already had.

“I’d appreciate that,” she said. I wasn’t quite sure what to think of Mr. Stringer’s new wife. She seemed on the shy side. Perhaps she was also a little insecure being in a new place where she didn’t know anyone. I decided I would do my best to make her feel welcome here in Sanditon.

“Can we come?” Alicia asked pulling on my skirt.

“If your mother agrees, I wouldn’t mind,” I agreed.

“I suppose it would be alright. Little James could probably use a nap anyway. Mary smiled and nodded her head. “Be on your best behavior. And please don’t bother Lady Denham,” she warned. 

“We won’t,” Jenny shouted. 

Jenny, Alicia, and Henry ran out in front of us, still carrying their sticks I had deemed hunting rifles for our hunting excursion.

“How do you like Sanditon?” I asked trying to make friendly conversation.

“I can’t say I’ve had the pleasure of seeing much of it. I’ve only arrived this afternoon,” she explained.

“Does Mr. Stringer know you are here?” I wondered.

“Why would you ask such a thing?” she said looking a little put off by my question.

I felt uneasy by the way she looked at me. “I only ask because he didn’t mention your arrival. If I had known you were arriving today, I wouldn’t have asked him to come out here to help Lady Denham.”

“I daresay he doesn't. I thought I'd surprise him but when I came upon the building site, he wasn't around,” she explained. “Mr. Parker back there mentioned you were in charge of the building going on in town. How exactly did you come upon such a task with such authority?”

“Lady Denham is a wealthy woman and soul benefactor of the construction of Sanditon. She didn’t like how Mr. Tom Parker was handling things. She asked if I would oversee the rebuild as she knew I worked closely with Tom and knew his plans quite well when he left Sanditon.”

“I can’t imagine it an easy job; being among all those men,” she said.

“She’s their boss,” Jenny interjected with a smile. 

“Not exactly, Jenny,” I said with a giggle.

“My husband has mentioned you took a liking to architecture like he did. Is that true?”

“Very much so. I know I can never be an architect of any kind, but I’m enjoying having a say on how things get built here in Sanditon. It’s actually why I asked Mr. Stringer to come out here to help Lady Denham. I found her yesterday with a supposed architect from London who had all these grand ideas on a renovation Lady Denham wants done. I knew within moments he was a fool and was on the verge of ruining Lady Denham’s home.”

“Do all the men, including my husband, do as you say?” she asked.

“Not always. Sometimes I have to truly fight for my position with them,” I explained.

She was quiet for a moment as if she was thinking hard. She almost looked sad.

“Is something the matter?” I asked.

“I’ve always idolized the work my father did. I wanted to learn everything he did and become an architect like him. When I was a child, he catered to my every whim. As I grew, I was informed I could never do the work I dreamed of and was merely meant to be a wife to someone. I refused to marry any suitable match my father tried to make.”

“But you married Mr. Stringer?” I said trying to understand where she was going.

She smiled. “James is different. He also caters to my dreams like my father did. I may not be able to be an architect in the eyes of society, but he allows me to give him advice or have an opinion on his jobs. I believe it’s why I fell for him so quickly. He didn’t have an issue with me stating my opinions or trying to interject my thoughts on projects he would discuss with my father. My father may have gotten irritated with me, but James would just smile and agree with my thoughts, which I found quite endearing.”

I thought about how Sidney did the same thing for me. Without Sidney allowing me to take control, I wouldn’t be where I am today; Lady Denham’s money or not. “I can understand how that might feel.”

“I suppose hearing you are in charge of this whole project here in Sanditon truly has me curious. If you, a woman, can be in charge of all these men, why couldn’t another?”

“Perhaps in time it’ll be more acceptable. I don’t imagine my position will last much longer than this particular job. After it’s over, I will go back to being just another woman who is ultimately on the hunt for a husband, as clearly that’s all women are after.”

“Is that what you’re after?” she asked with a smile.

“Surely not!” I said with a smile. “If I have my way, I’ll continue living in a man’s world regardless of my sex. Would it surprise you if I told you I recently learned how to punch a man?”

She tucked her arm around mine as we continued to walk. “I think we might be the greatest of friends, Charlotte Heywood.” 

I smiled back and nodded my head. “I’d definitely like that, Hannah Stringer.”

When we reached the house, the children had stopped at the door and stared up at the house in amazement. “Go on,” I encouraged. “Open the door.”

Henry ran and burst through the front door with Jenny and Alicia following behind. I excused myself from Hannah and chased after the children, following them down the hallway into the drawing room laughing excitedly with them. 

“Uncle Sidney!” Henry shouted when he saw Sidney standing in the room with Lady Denham. I stopped in my tracks and my smile fell. I didn’t know Sidney was back in Sanditon. Last I knew he was going to London. Sidney scooped up Henry while Alicia and Jenny ran over to him and pulled on his arms excitedly.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Lady Denham shouted. She didn’t look happy at all.

“I’m sorry, Lady Denham. I wasn’t aware you had a guest,” I apologized. I caught Sidney’s gaze for a moment in between him giving attention to the children. He looked pained but tried to hide it for the children’s sake. 

“Why on earth did you bring the Parker children here?” Lady Denham asked.

“We were picnicking nearby. I’m looking for Mr. Stringer. Is he still here?” I caught Sidney’s jaw tighten and his forehead wrinkle at the mention of Mr. Stringer. 

“He’s probably still in the library,” she said dismissively. 

Hannah slowly walked up behind me looking nervous. “Lady Denham, Mr. Parker, allow me to introduce Mrs. Hannah Stringer. Young Stringer’s new wife.” Sidney’s eyes rose and caught mine. His expression changed from anger to shame. A part of me enjoyed seeing him uncomfortable as he understood how wrong he was with his assumption the other day.

Hannah curtsied towards them, but Lady Denham barely gave her another glance. Sidney bowed his head in her direction but didn’t say anything.

“Hannah?” Mr. Stringer said walking into the room. He smiled and ran to her taking her hands in his. “I wasn’t expecting you for a few more days.”

“I couldn’t wait,” she said with a giggle. 

Mr. Stringer smiled and I could see the adoration for his bride in his eyes. “I’m glad you’re here. I have so much to show you.” They looked at each other as if no one else was in the room. I had to admit, I felt a hint of jealousy. Not that I was jealous because I had any feelings for Stringer, but more so the jealousy of their relationship. I wanted someone to look at me as if no one else existed. I turned around and caught Sidney staring at me rather than the Stringers like everyone else in the room was. Even the children were watching their exchange.

“If you are done with your measurements, are you going to show me what you’ve created?” Lady Denham asked. 

Mr. Stringer broke his gaze from Hannah and turned towards Lady Denham. “Of course. Let me go get the plans I’ve drawn up.” He walked back down the hallway towards the library with Hannah in tow. 

“Mr. Parker, if there’s nothing else, you are welcome to leave,” Lady Denham said in a harsh tone. Whatever their conversation was about, she didn’t seem happy. 

“Come play with us, Uncle Sidney,” Jenny shouted pulling on his arm. 

He chuckled. “What are you playing?” he asked.

“Charlotte is teaching us how to hunt,” Alicia said. 

“Is she now?” Sidney said, staring at me with a grin. 

“Now that I have Uncle Sidney on my side again, we need to race my boats,” Henry demanded. 

“Yes!” Jenny shouted. “We have to defend our ship against the British fleet.”

I laughed as did Sidney. “Come on Charlotte,” Jenny said pulling on my hand. 

“Lead the way, Admiral Heywood,” Sidney said with a grin and dip of his head. As much as I didn’t want to smile at the nickname, I couldn’t help it. 

I bid Mr. Stringer and Hannah farewell and promised to meet with her again soon. Jenny and Alicia pulled on my hands impatiently. Sidney followed behind us with Henry on his shoulder. 

We walked back to where everyone else was waiting. Most everything had been cleaned up and put away. The children whined when they saw their toys had been put up. 

“You leave with a Stringer and return with a Parker,” Georgiana teased. 

There were questioning eyes from everyone when we got back. 

“Come on, children. It’s time to get home,” Mary said.

“Please, mama,” Jenny cried. “We have to race our boats still.”

“Uncle Sidney and I are going to win this time,” Henry said as Sidney lowered him to the ground from atop his shoulder. 

“No, you won’t!” Alicia shouted. “Charlotte won’t allow it.”

I don’t know, Alicia,” Sidney said. “Henry and I have got our secret weapon this time.” He picked up little James who giggled when Sidney tossed him in the air a little. 

“But we have Admiral Heywood. She’s not afraid of any beastly boys. She bosses all of them around,” Jenny said. 

I laughed and leaned down to Jenny’s level to whisper in her ear. “Sometimes it is rather scary.”

“I want to be brave like you, Charlotte,” Jenny whispered back. I smiled at her and gave her a hug thinking about the conversation I had with Mrs. Stringer about how all girls were meant for was to marry a man. I never wanted Jenny or Alicia to feel inferior to a man. They deserved to be brave and do amazing things. 

Mary smiled at her children then looked to Sidney and I who were now surrounded by hopeful children. “I suppose you could stay a little longer if Uncle Sidney is willing to walk you back when your fun is over.”

“Of course, Mary,” he agreed. “After the day I’ve had, I could use a little lighthearted fun with the children.”

“Everything alright?” Mary asked.

“Only time will tell,” he answered vaguely. Whatever he meant by his comment, Mary seemed to understand. 

“Where did Alison go?” I asked realizing she was not with the group any longer. 

“Alison walked off with Mr. Crowe a little bit ago,” Mary answered. I noticed her glance towards Sidney and a hint of a grin on her face. 

“With Mr. Crowe? Why did she go off with Mr. Crowe?” I wondered.

“I’ll explain while we are down by the water,” Sidney said leading the children away but watching to see if I would follow. 

“Children be good for Charlotte and Uncle Sidney,” Mary warned as we walked away.

The children ran off in front of us and Sidney and I walked slowly through the grass following behind them.

“I thought Mr. Crowe wasn’t planning to return to Sanditon?” I asked trying to urge Sidney to tell me more.

“I believe Mr. Crowe came to the realization that he is in love with your sister and has come back to ask her to marry him,” Sidney explained nonchalantly.

“What!” I shouted almost laughing at the ridiculous notion. “You can’t be serious.”

“Is it so hard to believe your sister and Mr. Crowe together?” he asked.

“It’s harder to believe my sister would accept him. She has had nothing but disdain towards him from the moment they met.”

“Quite like us, wouldn’t you agree?” he said turning his head to look at me. I turned away from him, not wanting to meet his eyes. “Is it so hard to believe someone’s feelings can change in a matter of hours?”

“I suppose not. I just don’t know if her feelings have changed,” I said. 

We were silent for a moment while we continued to walk. The silence felt awkward and I felt the need to say something. “How is your nose?”

He chuckled and ducked his head shyly. “A little bruised, but nothing a little time won’t heal.”

Silence fell on us again. The only sound came from the children laughing and running in front of us.

“Charlotte,” he said sharply, then sighed. “Miss Heywood, I must apologize for my behavior the other day at the cove. I didn’t mean what I said about Mr. Stringer to be taken the way it was.”

I sighed. “I suppose now that you see there’s nothing to be concerned about, you’ve come to your senses.”

“You can’t fault a man for feeling the pains of jealousy when he sees the woman he loves, with someone else,” he said. My heart skipped a beat and I held my breath. It’s truly the first time he’s indicated he loved me. 

“I suppose I can learn to forgive. But I can’t exactly forgive you for sacrificing your brother in such a way. I know Tom has made some mistakes, but he has a wife and children to think about. He can’t be sent to debtor’s prison,” I reminded.

He was quiet for a moment staring blankly ahead as we walked in step with each other. “I didn’t sacrifice my brother. It pains me to think you would believe such a thing of me. I made a decision not to tie myself to a woman who disregarded Georgiana as nothing more than another slave in her slave trading escapades. I decided I couldn’t spend a lifetime with someone when I loved another. I had to come up with another way to help Tom.”

“And did you?” I asked staring at him intently.

He ducked his head then turned towards me, meeting my gaze with a serious expression. “Perhaps.”

"Anything I can do to help?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we will see how that proposal went.


	22. A Proposal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the proposal we are all waiting for, but a sweet moment between Alison and Crowe. Who knew Crowe could find love?

~~Alison~~

When Charlotte and I arrived at the building site in the morning, Mr. Crowe was waiting in the room I had been painting the last few days. He clumsily tried to stand and nearly lost his balance. I questioned if he wasn’t already drunk or perhaps coming off of being drunk from the night before.

“Mr. Crowe,” I greeted curiously. “I wasn’t expecting you back. You indicated your plans to remain in London.”

“I decided against it,” he said nervously. I observed him curiously. He seemed odd.

“I see.” I went about my business, placing the paint on a table and preparing the brushes.

“Miss Heywood, I must ask you something,” he said in a rushed tone. 

I acknowledged him but didn’t give him my full attention. 

“Marry me!” he blurted. I turned around and stared at him with a confused expression. I shook my head and began to laugh.

“Are you drunk again?” I asked.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more clearheaded than I am right now,” he answered.

I stopped laughing abruptly and my mouth hung open. “Are you joking?” 

“I’m not. I want you to marry me.”

“Mr. Crowe, we’ve made it perfectly clear we do not like each other. Why are you asking me to marry you?” 

“I’ve thought better of my first impression and have come to the conclusion I’m in love with you,” he said, taking a step closer towards me. 

I didn’t know what to say to him. I couldn’t possibly say yes to him. I barely knew him. “Mr. Crowe, you have been a complete mystery to me and everyone else. I’m sorry, but I can’t say yes to someone I barely know.”

“Do you want to know about my fortune? About my property? Or my position in genteel society?"

“What?” I scoffed. "None of that even matters to me. I have little interest in fortunes or position."

“What is it you want to know?” he asked again.

I laughed and shook my head. “Everything. I don’t even know your Christian name.”

“It’s Matthew. What else?” he questioned.

“Where do you come from? Who are your parents? Do you have any siblings?” I named off just a few questions I’d like to know.

He sighed and pursed his lips tightly. “Isn’t there time for all that once we are married?”

“I’m sorry, but I want to truly know the man I’m marrying long before any discussion of marriage. My parents knew each other long before they married. Even my brother, who is to be married next week, has known Jane since they were kids. I want the same thing.”

"Are you trying to tell me you already have someone in mind back in Willingden? Perhaps someone you grew up with?" he questioned sort of angrily.

"No," I laughed. "That not what I'm saying in the least. What I'm saying is I want to truly know the man I'm going to marry long before I say yes. I'm not about to say yes on a whim. How am I to make a decision that will impact the rest of my life on something I know very little about?" 

His face dropped and I felt horrible for denying him. “Then I guess I spoke out of turn. Forgive me.” He bowed and headed towards the door.

“What are you hiding?” I called out but he didn’t stop to tell me anything more. Instead, he walked down the stairs and hastily down the street. I spent the rest of the day trying to come to terms with what happened. I still wasn’t sure if what he asked was truly what he wanted or if it was some elaborate joke. He did enjoy teasing me and trying to egg me on at times. This could be another one of those moments. If it was, I believe I ruined his fun by not being a silly girl who would say yes to any man who asked. 

I had come to the conclusion he had to be joking. There was no possibility of him ever having feelings for me. I knew I surely didn’t have feelings for him. If I did, I think I would know. Yet, I couldn’t get over the sinking feeling that perhaps he was sincere in his proposal and I had just caused him deep pain by not accepting. I felt like I needed someone to talk to, but I couldn’t go to Charlotte since I knew she was dealing with her own problems. 

I was thankful when later in the day Charlotte suggested we go on a picnic with the Parker women and children. I thought it even better when she suggested we invite Georgiana. I could talk to Georgiana and get her perspective.

When we started walking down the street, Georgiana and I stayed a distance behind the group. 

“I can tell you have something to say,” Georgiana observed. “What is it?”

“Mr. Crowe asked me to marry him this morning?”

“What!” she shouted.

I shushed her and took another step backwards away from the group. “I wasn’t expecting it. He never gave any indication he had feelings for me. Quite the opposite, in fact. He’s shown nothing but indifference towards me. Why would he ask me to marry him?”

“Did you give him an answer?”

“Of course, I did. I told him no.”

“Alison!” Georgiana reprimanded. “You can’t tell him no.”

“I most certainly can. I’m not about to marry a man I barely know.”

“Well no, of course not. But couldn’t you have told him you needed time to think about it?” she asked. “Now I imagine he won’t talk to you again. He won’t be humiliated a second time.”

“Didn’t you tell me you turned down Otis plenty of times?” I asked.

“That was only in jest. He knew I could never marry him without Sidney’s permission first. It was just our silly banter, not real,” she explained. “If I could marry him, I would have instantly.”

“How am I to know if he’s sincere?” I asked. “His proposal was so sudden.”

“Do you want to marry him?” 

“I haven’t the slightest. Like I said, I don’t know him.”

“Perhaps it’s time you do get to know him.”

We walked with the group out towards Sanditon House for the picnic Mary had planned, staying quite a distance behind everyone else. My mind was still reeling from the suddenness of the proposal but getting away to have a fun afternoon with the women as well as the children was helpful to clear my mind. Charlotte and I played with the children more than anyone else. Georgiana joined in at times but seemed more content to watch than join in our pretend hunting excursion. 

When Charlotte walked with the children and Mrs. Stringer up to the house, the rest of us lounged on the blankets and pillows enjoying the last bit of sunshine for the season. None of us even noticed Mr. Crowe walking up the road until he was upon us. 

“Mr. Crowe, I didn’t see you coming,” Mary said. “Please, do sit down and join us.” I quickly sat up and glanced between him and Georgiana nervously. 

“As a matter of fact, I’ve come out here to speak to Alison Heywood,” he said staring at me with a pained expression. My eyes were fixated on his. 

“Oh,” Mary said with a grin. She clearly knew something. “Of course.”

“Could I interest you in a short stroll through the park, Miss Heywood?” he asked hopeful.

“I’m sure Alison would be delighted to join you,” Georgiana said with a smile. I shot her a look, but she only nodded in encouragement.

I stood and walked away with him while the rest of the group watched on expectantly. We walked silently for a distance until he spoke. 

“I have a troubled past,” he blurted. “If you knew half of it, you’d never want to marry me.”

“So, your plan is to marry me while I’m naïve and unaware to trap me?”

“No,” he said shaking his head and sounding frustrated with himself. “I’m just afraid you’ll think differently of me.”

“I must be honest, Mr. Crowe, I’m not sure I think much of you now,” I said. “I know very little of you. How am I to form an opinion of someone I barely know?”

He sighed and stopped walking. I stopped also and turned towards him. He wouldn’t meet my gaze with his eyes a clear indication he was still hiding and unwilling to be honest with me. 

“What is it you want to know?” he asked. For the slightest moment, his eyes met mine then fell to stare at the ground again. 

I sighed, seeing how uncomfortable he was. “Perhaps we can come up with a little game,” I suggested. “As much as I don’t know about you, I’m certain you know just as little about me. Perhaps we can take turns asking each other questions to get to know the other better.”

He rose his eyes to mine and grinned. “I think I like this notion.”

“I’ll even let you go first,” I offered.

“Alright,” he said beginning our walk again. “Are you as avid a reader as I’m told Charlotte is?”

“I do enjoy reading, but my sister devours books within hours. I’m not quite as interested in reading as she is,” I answered.

He nodded and gestured for me to take my turn in asking a question. I thought I’d better ask an easier question to begin with. He seemed hesitant to talk about his past or his family. “How did you meet Mr. Parker and Lord Babington?”

“We met as adolescents. We moved in the same circles and ran into each other a lot.”

“There’s no exciting stories of the three of you getting into mischief as young men?”

He chuckled. “There are plenty of stories. We were quite the trio. When Parker left for Antigua, it wasn’t as fun to get into trouble with just Babs. Plus, he suddenly had a duty becoming a Lord when his father died,” he explained. I enjoyed the fact that he was opening up more.

“I think I’d like to hear some of these stories.”

“I’ll have to think about some good ones. But don’t think it’s slipped that you’ve asked two questions.

“Did I?” I questioned playfully. “You’ll have to ask two also then.”

“Tell me about your family?” he asked. 

“My father is a country gentleman. He’s rather on the shy side but indulges his children with everything they desire. He has a few tenants on the property and farms the rest of it. My mother is ever the caretaker. She’s cared for all her children lovingly. I have eleven siblings, including Charlotte. My parents are very much in love and show their affection for each other openly unlike most people. It’s quite endearing and it’s something I strive for in my own marriage.”

“Do you think your family would approve of me?” he wondered with a grin on his face. 

“Only time will tell,” I answered truthfully. 

“Your turn,” he said.

“Have you ever travelled outside of England?” I wondered.

“I can’t say that I have. I’m not quite as adventurous as Parker is. What about you? Ever been anywhere besides Sanditon?”

“Unfortunately, no.”

“Would you like to travel?” he asked.

I smiled. “That was two questions.”

He grinned bashfully and glanced between me and the ground. “You can have two questions when it’s your turn,” he offered.

“Very well,” I agreed. “I suppose I wouldn’t mind travelling, but I’d also be content settling in a home of my own with children in the future.

“Ah, yes. How could I forget?” he said. “You want a dozen of them like your own parents.”

“I want as many as I’m blessed with. I didn’t say I would be content with a dozen. Perhaps I’ll have less. Or perhaps I'll have more,” I answered with a grin. His heavy sigh and shake of his head didn’t go unnoticed.

“And you think your body can handle having that many children?” he asked skeptically. 

“I imagine if my mother can do it, so can I,” I answered. “And that was three.”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. You can’t blame me for being curious about your expectations,” he said.

“Precisely why I wanted to do this little game,” I reminded. “I need to know about your expectations as well.”

“Alright. Three questions,” he offered.

“Was your proposal sincere?” I asked. He stopped walking and stared at me with shock across his face. I stopped a few steps in front of him and turned to look at him. “It had crossed my mind that your proposal was some sort of hurtful joke.”

He looked hurt by my question. “No. It wasn’t a joke. I’ve never been so sure about anything in my entire life.”

“What changed your mind?” I questioned. “We have been so indifferent towards each other. You’ve teased me and egged me on to initiate a quarrel of sorts on many occasions. What made you suddenly think marrying me was a good idea?”

He looked down at his feet and his jaw tightened. “You’re the only woman who has ever gotten under my skin so much that I wanted to impress you. So much so that I changed everything about who I am to be more for you.” He took a step closer towards me and looked intently into my eyes. I held my breath as he got closer. “You’re the only woman I have ever pictured a life with. I can’t imagine a life without you beside me.” He took my hands in his now that we were only a step away from each other. “I’ve never been in love. But after a talk with Sidney, there’s no denying what I feel for you is love.”

As much as I couldn’t move and felt like I might faint from the impact he had on me, I felt like this was the best time to ask what I’d been wondering and had noticed he avoided at every turn. “Tell me about your family?” 

He instantly dropped my hands and took a step away. His breath caught in his throat as he turned away from me. 

“If you don’t want to talk about it yet, you don’t have to,” I offered.

“No, I agreed to this game,” he said and turned back towards me. “You might not like what you hear.”

“I find that impossible,” I said with an encouraging smile.

That familiar pained expression was back, and he refused to meet my eyes, keeping his gaze glued to the ground at my feet. “I killed my mother,” he breathed no more than a whisper.

My breath hitched and his eyes rose to mine searching for fear. I was more curious what he meant than scared. “Could… Could you explain more?”

His eyes closed and he sighed heavily, fidgeting with the brim of his hat. “When I was born, my mother died. She bled out. My father blamed me my entire life. I was a thorn in his side for taking the love of his life away from him. He ignored me and barely spoke to me growing up. What I did see of him was a man who drank his sorrows away and bedded a new woman every night. If I got in his way, I was sorely punished. I had a horrible childhood, being raised by evil nannies in a home I was constantly told I didn’t belong in. Everyone loved my mother and I was told daily I should have been the one to die, not her. I've lived my life full of guilt and regret. The only time I find I can be in control of my emotions is when I'm drunk. I've told myself since I was a young boy I would never fall in love. If I had to marry, it would be for position or fortune alone. Then you happened.”

A tear fell down my face. No wonder he was the way he was. He had plenty of hidden scars he had yet to deal with. 

“So, Miss Heywood, now that you know the one thing I’ve never told another soul, are you ready to run away in fear and never speak to me again?” he asked looking as if he was fully prepared for me to run away from him.

I took a couple steps towards him while he rose his head with questioning eyes. I took his hands in mine and held them between us. His expression was still confused. I smiled up at him to give him hope. “No. I think you need someone to tell you what happened to your mother wasn’t your fault. You were just a child who had no control over what happened. You deserve happiness and love after enduring all you did without going mad.”

He smiled the biggest grin I’d ever seen on his face and he leaned his forehead against mine. “I can’t promise I didn’t go a little mad.”

“Perhaps, with a little help, you’ll be able to heal,” I suggested with a smile. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. I know it wasn’t easy, but you must know by now, you don’t scare me.”

We laughed and enjoyed the intimate moment between us. I saw Mr. Crowe in a different light after our conversation. There was still so much I wanted to know about him, but for now, it was enough.

“Does this mean you’ll accept my proposal?” he asked.

I pulled away for a moment and smiled before shaking my head. “There's still so much I still want to know. You are moving in the right direction, though. You’ll also need to ask my father for permission first,” I reminded.

“Yes, that. I suppose I’ll be escorting you and your sister to Willingden for your brother’s wedding to have the opportunity for a conversation with your father.”

“Only if you truly want to,” I said. 

“I’m fairly certain there isn’t anything I’d rather do than talk to your father, as gut-wrenching as it may be.”

I laughed at the fear he had across his face knowing he’d have to talk to my father. He should probably be more fearful of my younger siblings than my father. 

“Do you think your father will agree?” he wondered. 

“I think he will make his decision based on what I want. He’s always been a doting father with us children,” I said giving him hope. I honestly didn’t know how my father would take the news. I don’t think he expected Charlotte and I to travel to Sanditon to find husbands. It may come as quite a shock to him. 

His head tilt towards mine as if he was going to kiss me. My heart was racing with anticipation. I wasn’t sure what to expect or if I even knew how to kiss him back. But I encouraged him by raising my face towards him. While his warm breath filled the air between us, and my lips parted waiting for the warm touch of his lips against mine, he stopped and pulled away. I blinked a few times and swallowed against the dry throat I now had. Why would he stop? Had I done something wrong?

“I should get you back to the house before someone gets suspicious,” he suggested pulling away from me. My shoulders dropped in disappointment, but I nodded my head in agreement and started walking back with him. We were silent for a while until he started asking questions again.

“Where would you want to live? In Willingden where your family lives? Here in Sanditon? Perhaps you want the excitement of society in London?”

“I don’t think I’d care where I live. I’d be happy anywhere,” I answered.

“I do own property. When my father finally died, of course, I inherited everything. I haven’t been back to that house since I was sixteen. I vowed I’d never go back and relive all those terrible memories. I have caretakers who oversee the house and manage the tenants. I suppose I could go back.”

I wrapped my arm around his arm and leaned into him. “No. We won’t live there. We will find somewhere else to live to make new memories.”

He smiled and ducked his head bashfully. I couldn’t help but smile at his demeanor changing. He seemed truly happy for the first time. It was as if once he got the heavy weight from his childhood lifted, he was finally free to be happy. I enjoyed the new side of Matthew Crowe. 

Just as we got to the house, he grabbed my hand and pulled me behind a tree. I was confused at first. I didn’t understand what he was doing until he pulled me close. I looked up at him and smiled giving him consent. His face lowered towards mine and met my lips with a gentle kiss. 

“I couldn’t wait for our wedding day,” he chuckled, leaning his head against mine and holding me close to him. 

“I’m glad you didn’t,” I said smiling up at him. He took that as permission to steal another kiss, this time more passionate and intensely. I had to break away for a breath of air and to remind us both where we were. He released me with a heavy sigh and walked me the rest of the way to the house. 

“May I see you tomorrow?” he asked.

“I would like that. Perhaps Lady Denham will have another dinner party,” I said. He smiled and nodded his head.

“Until tomorrow then.” 

He stepped away but didn’t turn around until quite a distance away from me. I stood at the door watching him leave, still reeling from the feelings he inspired in me in such a short time. Was I truly nearly engaged to be married? What would Charlotte say when she found out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said on Twitter, every "frat boy" will be softened by the right girl just like Babs and Sidney were. I decided to go with Matthew for Crowe's Christian name. Seemed fitting although, for me, it's odd since my brother's name is Matthew. I think I'll continue to call him Crowe unless absolutely necessary. Someone mentioned his name was Francis in the show. I’ve watched it a dozen times and never caught it. Not that it’s not, I just never heard it. I’d love to know the specific scene for this. Anyway, I don’t think he looks like a Francis so I went with something different...well not so different.


	23. The Terms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad everyone enjoyed Crowe and Alison. This is a shorter chapter, but still good.

~~Alison~~

I walked into the drawing room where Lady Denham was sipping tea and looking through papers. I tried to hide the grin on my face after the most amazing day of my life, but I failed miserably. 

“You look rather flushed. Were you sitting in the sun too long?” she asked.

“No,” I answered still grinning. I sat down in a chair and brushed my bottom lip with the tip of my finger still reliving the kiss in my mind. 

“I might suspect a young gentleman has had some effect on your demeanor,” she said.

I smiled at her and nodded my head a little. "I suppose it's possible."

Mr. Crowe, perhaps?” she asked looking pleased with herself.

“He’s asked me to marry him, Lady Denham,” I explained.

She seemed positively exuberant. “Did you give him an answer?”

“I think I’ve indicated my answer is yes. There’s still more conversation to be had. He will need to talk to my father, of course.”

“Mr. Crowe will be a fine match. He has a nice income,” she indicated.

“How do you know about his income?” I wondered.

“I make it my business to know about everyone’s finances here in Sanditon. I make it my duty to help young girls I’m fond of find a husband with a good fortune as well. First Esther, now you. I had Mr. Crowe picked out for you the moment I saw the two of you argue at the dinner party. You’ll be able to complement each other well instead of being married to someone dull, like my second husband was. I always thought Clara would be a good match for Mr. Sidney Parker, but she messed up that prospect by conspiring with my hopeless nephew. Charlotte is more complicated. I haven't found the right man for her, yet. I know she had her heart set on Mr. Parker for a time, but he's not right for her anymore. He doesn't have the finances like Mr. Crowe does."

“I’m not marrying Mr. Crowe because of his wealth,” I assured.

“Sure, you aren’t,” she said with a laugh. 

“Lady Denham, I don’t think you understand how little Charlotte and I care about money. It’s not something we are after in marriage. We were not brought up to search for wealthy husbands. We were brought up to search for love.”

“Are you saying you love Mr. Crowe?”

“I’m not sure I love him entirely, but I have more understanding of who he is after our conversation today. I see myself beginning to have true feelings for him that had nothing to do with money. If he lost all his wealth tomorrow, my feelings for him wouldn’t change in the least. I’d still wish to marry him.”

“Nonsense!” she rebutted. “Wealth is the only thing to make a marriage worthwhile. Unless, of course, there’s a title to be had.”

“I find your opinion rather sad,” I said angrily. I knew I probably shouldn’t have said it, but it came out anyway and she clearly was not happy.

“Go play me something at the piano,” she ordered.

I sighed, still angry about what she was implying. But I did as she requested and went to the piano to play. At least playing helped me calm down a little. 

“Where might Charlotte be?” Lady Denham asked after a good amount of time had gone by. 

I stopped playing the piano and turned around to face her. “She isn’t here? I assumed she was upstairs,” I said, starting to worry about my sister.

“She left a while ago with Mr. Parker and the Parker children. I assumed she was returning them to Mary. She mentioned something about a picnic?”

“Yes, we had a picnic earlier. But everyone had left by the time I came back up the road,” I explained. 

Lady Denham called for one of her servants to ready the carriage. 

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“I need to talk to Mr. Parker. I imagine I’ll find Charlotte with the Parker family as well,” she explained.

“Should I come with you to help look for her?” I asked.

“No, my dear. I’ll be fine.”

~~Sidney~~

Charlotte’s question caught me off guard. Did she really think she could help? Or was she only offering to be polite? 

“Right now, there isn’t a whole lot that can be done,” I answered.

“What did you do?” she asked. It was definitely something I didn’t want to reveal to her. I didn’t want her to know that I ultimately made myself an indebted poor man who didn’t have a chance with her any longer. As much as I wanted to hold onto hope that she would think differently of me with time, even if she did, I couldn’t marry her being a poor man with debts. 

I smiled trying to hide my fear. “I had a conversation with Lady Denham to see if we could work something out.”

“Did she accept?” she wondered.

“She is to give me an answer soon.”

“Perhaps I can talk to her and convince her to accept,” she offered.

“You don’t have to,” I said, fearful Lady Denham would ultimately tell her about my offer. 

“It’s no trouble at all. Lady Denham seems to trust my opinion. If I can help in any way, I will.”

“I’d rather you not. I don’t want to provoke her.” Charlotte watched me curiously as if she didn’t understand what I meant. Obviously, she didn’t understand, but I didn’t want her to.

“Come on, Uncle Sidney!” Henry shouted. I walked a little quicker and scooped up little James who was falling behind his siblings. The girls yelled for Charlotte to come to their side when we reached the river. The children raced their boats for quite some time and even waded in the cool water for a bit before Charlotte and I finally told them it was time to go. The sun was beginning to set, and I was sure Mary was wondering where we were. I carried little James on my shoulders while we walked along the river. Charlotte was silent while we walked, I imagined thinking on what I had told her about my offer to Lady Denham.

I had completely forgot about the gazebo along the riverbank, until we got close and the children stopped and stared in amazement. 

“What is that, Uncle Sidney?” Alicia asked. 

Charlotte gasped next to me and stopped in her tracks when she saw it. I smiled proudly as I watched her take in the construction. 

“Where did this come from?” she asked looking at me skeptically. The children went running towards it to get a better look. I put James down on the ground and he slowly traipsed through the grass to follow his siblings.

“You said you wanted a playhouse. We couldn’t exactly have one of those built in the short time we had, so I had this built instead… for you,” I explained. 

“For me?” she asked staring at me intently. 

I grinned bashfully and nodded my head. “I’ve hired a group of actors to come put on a show while the Prince Regent is here.”

She smiled and walked towards it to join the kids in their fun. She walked in and examined the construction and touched every post and beam inspecting the wood and design. I stood just outside of it and watched her intently waiting for her approval. “This is breathtakingly beautiful,” she said with a huge smile.

I smiled in return and took the few steps inside to join her. The children ran and giggled all around us from one side of the gazebo to the next. “I was hoping you’d like it. I’m sure you had something grander in mind, but it’ll have to do for now.”

“No,” she said with a giggle. “This is even better than anything I had in mind.”

Our eyes connected for a moment, which made me, for one minute, think that I had been forgiven for all the lies and mistrust I’d caused. Yet, I was still lying to her. Or rather, avoiding the truth. 

“I hope we make a good impression on the Prince Regent. I’m entirely grateful to Lady Susan for convincing him to come here,” she said.

“What are you expecting when the Prince Regent arrives?” I asked, curious if she had any opinions on the man.

“I suppose I’m expecting a powerful man who will bring plenty of fashionable people along with him,” she answered. “Lady Susan explained how powerful people influence others on where to follow and be seen. We are already seeing an influx of visitors. Just like you said when we were in London. People go to parties to be seen, not for conversation. I would think the same would apply here.”

“And do you think it’ll help Sanditon at all?” I wondered.

“Well I don’t think it’ll hurt. I imagine it’ll give us an opportunity to show all the benefits of the sea and have influential people bring it up in conversation for years to come. Plenty of people with large incomes and lots of influence will come to Sanditon and fall in love with the place just as I have and so many others.”

I nodded my head agreeing with her opinion. “Let’s hope it all works out.”

I motioned for us to leave and called the children to follow. They were disappointed we had to leave, but they did as they were told and followed us out. The children were exhausted. James had fallen asleep on my shoulder and on a few occasions almost fallen off of me. Thankfully Charlotte had caught his head and steadied him so I could hold on to him with more support. The other children had now taken to walking with us, holding our hands rather than running ahead. By the time we reached Trafalgar House, they were dragging their feet up the steps to the door.

“Sidney, Charlotte, what have you done to the children?” Diana asked dramatically.

I rolled my eyes. “They are only tired, Diana. They’ve had a busy day.”

A nanny came through and took James from my arms and escorted Henry down the hallway. The girls sat down and leaned up against each other while they waited for their turn to be brought to bed.

“Charlotte, would you like to stay for dinner?” Mary asked.

I watched on, hopeful she’d say yes and I could spend a little while longer with her. 

“I really should be getting back. I should make sure Alison made it home alright,” she explained. “I’m sure she has lots to talk about.”

“You’ll need to come some other time and spend the day with us again,” Mary suggested.

“I’d like that,” she agreed. “I miss my time here.”

“We miss having you,” Mary said coming over to her and giving her a hug. “Thank you for joining us today and taking my children on quite an adventure.”

She smiled appreciatively to Mary. “I should be the one thanking you. I needed today. I think I’ve been doing too much and need to take more breaks.”

“Yes, you should,” Mary agreed. “You are welcome to come visit us anytime you would like.”

Jenny came walking over half asleep and wrapped her arms around Charlotte. “Goodnight, Charlotte,” she whispered. 

“Goodnight, Jenny,” Charlotte said with a smile hugging her back.

“It’s getting late. I shall call for our carriage to drive you out to Lady Denham’s. Sidney, perhaps you could escort Charlotte?” Mary asked.

“Of course. It would be my pleasure,” I agreed with a happy grin. The thought of being with her in the carriage alone, even for a short time, made me excited. 

Unfortunately, just as Mary was calling for the carriage to be brought around, another carriage pulled up in front of the house. There was a ring at the door and Lady Denham was escorted in. 

“There you are, Charlotte. I was beginning to think the Parker’s had taken you hostage,” she said.

“Lady Denham, what do we owe this unexpected surprise?” Mary asked.

“I’ve come to collect Charlotte and have a conversation with Mr. Parker,” she explained. My heart began to race. She probably had an answer for my proposition. 

“Of course,” I said with a pained expression. I gestured for her to join me in the drawing room. 

“Charlotte, please wait in the carriage,” she ordered.

“I’d rather not, if you don’t mind,” Charlotte disputed. 

“It’s not a request. Mr. Parker and I have some business matters to discuss that do not pertain to you. I need you to wait in the carriage.”

As much as I could tell Charlotte didn’t want to leave and was very confused why Lady Denham was being authoritative with her, I knew whatever it was Lady Denham was about to say wasn’t something I wanted Charlotte to hear either. I nodded my head, giving Charlotte permission to leave us. Charlotte walked out of the house hesitantly, still looking back and questioning what was happening. 

I followed Lady Denham into the drawing room and shut the door. She hesitated and paced around the room. “Do you take me as a fool?” she asked.

“Surely not,” I responded. 

“I’m not blind to your affection for Charlotte. I assume you think scandalously breaking off your engagement with Mr. Campion and then paying me not even half of what you agreed to pay, will grant you the ability to marry Charlotte,” she conceived. “You plan to marry her under false pretenses and ultimately force her into a penniless marriage.”

“I’m under no illusion of what I have done. I know I can’t marry Charlotte being penniless,” I assured. “It won’t last forever, though.”

“Yet you still pursue her?” she questioned.

“We took the children down by the river to race their boats. That is all.”

“You expect me to believe you aren’t going to keep her dangling on your every word?”

“Charlotte is always free to do as she pleases,” I assured.

“It may take many years to pay off the debt your family owes me. You won’t ask her to wait for you?” she questioned. Of course, I wanted Charlotte to wait for me. But I’d never ask her to.

“No.”

She sighed, observing me with questioning eyes. “If you don’t expect her to wait for you and you refuse to marry a wealthy woman to higher your position and ease your family’s financial troubles, what is your purpose?”

I dropped my head and sighed. “If there’s one thing Charlotte has taught me, loving someone is far more important than being loved in return. I love Charlotte. I imagine I always will. But I refuse to marry another and ultimately break her heart merely for wealth. I don’t care if I’m indebted to you for life or even if you choose to send me to debtor’s prison. I won’t hurt Charlotte any more than I already have.”

She hesitated for a while, staring at me with intimidating eyes. “You’ll agree to my terms if I accept your terms?” she asked.

“Do I have a choice?” I wondered.

“I’ll accept your offer on a few conditions. I do not have the time to take on a London company. I expect you to continue to run your London business only receiving a laborer’s wage to live off of. I also expect you not to enter into an engagement with Charlotte, nor will you ask her to wait for you until the debt is paid in full,” she explained.

“You can’t do that!” I shouted.

“You just got done telling me you had no intention of asking her to wait for you. Are you saying that was a lie?” she questioned.

“I can build another company. I’ve done it once; I can do it again. I can continue to pay you in yearly installments while I build enough wealth to offer Charlotte a comfortable life.”

She grinned maliciously. “You have it all worked out, don’t you? Yet, what happens when you have a child and another child and another after that? It would mean more expenses while the amount you’re able to pay me becomes less and less. No. I won’t have it. Until the debt is paid in full you are not to enter into any engagement with Charlotte. She deserves better.”

My heart sank. As much as I thought this would work, I should have known better than to expect Lady Denham to approve. “Is there any way out of this?” I asked, hopeful, knowing it was futile.

She gave me a devious look while she straightened her sleeves. “I suppose the only way out of it is if you marry a wealthy woman. I imagine it’ll take you a good ten years to pay the rest of the debt in full. Charlotte may be happily married by then. Is it really any different than if you marry someone wealthy now? You could let her go for good so she can move on and find someone more worthy.”

This woman who stood in front of me was gutting me with every word she spoke. I wanted her to leave. I needed her to be out of my sight. I opened the door and gestured for her to leave. “I’ll accept your terms,” I agreed angrily. “But I’ll pay it off in two years. I promise you that.” I was determined. There was no other option. 

She scoffed. “We’ll see.”

She left the house and entered the carriage with Charlotte while I fell to the ground unable to see a way out of any of this. Damn Tom! He should be the one taking care of all this, not me. Why was everything being put on my shoulders?

Mary and Diana came in and kneeled down beside me to offer some form of comfort. “We’ll figure out a way. I promise you, Sidney. I won’t have that woman take everything from our family, that includes Charlotte,” Mary assured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 things:   
> I know everyone wants Sidney to catch a break. The poor guy is getting slapped in the face everywhere he turns. Trust me, though. It's all leading up to a great reveal. Plus, I think it's only giving Charlotte and Sidney more of an opportunity to get to know each other and truly deapen those feelings. 
> 
> Don't hate on Lady Denham too much. She is a jaded woman whose only experience at love is heartbreak. She thinks she is doing right by Charlotte and Alison and sees them as the daughters she never had. She doesn't see things the same way they do. They will soften her to their way of thinking with time.


	24. Frivolous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love everyone's thoughts on the last chapter. Some of you are mad, some of you are losing hope, some of you are crying. I hope you will all stick with me as we get closer to the end. 
> 
> Perhaps this chapter will be a little easier on everyone's heart. I can't promise there won't be more obstacles along the the way, but it's a start.

~~Charlotte~~

I didn’t appreciate Lady Denham telling me to wait in the carriage. I wasn’t a child and she had no right to treat me like one. I impatiently waited for her to return knowing full well she was talking to Sidney about the proposition he offered her. I hoped she was willing to work with him. I wanted all this conflict over the debt to be behind us. 

When Lady Denham got in the carriage, she seemed pleased with herself. “Did you talk to Mr. Parker about the debt?” I asked.

She looked shocked as if she didn’t think I knew Sidney had asked to work with her on the terms of paying off the debt. “I did.”

“And did you agree? Will you work with Mr. Parker?” I asked, hopeful.

“Mr. Parker and I have come to an understanding as far as the debt goes,” she clarified. 

“Oh, that’s wonderful,” I said, feeling relieved. “The entire Parker family has been concerned with what will happen.”

“Yes, well, I don’t think any of the Parker family have very good business sense. Tom has utterly disappeared and left his debts to be taken care of by his cad of a brother in his absence. We all know the brother Arthur is of no use and the sister is outlandishly ridiculous. Even Mary is senseless at times. How she didn’t know what was going on with Tom is beyond me.”

Her words hurt. I knew I wasn’t a true member of the family, but I loved all of them as if they were my family. How could she say such horrible things about them? “Lady Denham, they aren’t anything like what you describe. Tom is off trying to find a way to pay the debt himself, Sidney is doing everything he can to take care of his family as well as help with the rebuild. Even Arthur has been helping at the building. Please don’t say such hurtful things about them.”

“Charlotte, it’s time you put some distance between you and the Parker family,” she ordered. “That family has betrayed me for the last time. I won’t sit back and watch them betray you once again. I forbid you from seeing them anymore.”

“You will not!” I said angrily. “You can’t tell me who to spend my time with. I love all of them.”

“Preposterous! How can you love a family that has deceived you and everyone else in this town at every turn?”

“I think we have a difference of opinion on who the Parkers are,” I said. “They have been nothing but kind and welcoming to me and Alison. I consider them family. Nothing you or anyone else says is going to change my mind.”

“It’s time for you to see the world for what it is. They are only using you. And that Sidney Parker dangling you from a string. It’s quite pathetic.”

I was beyond angry and couldn’t hold my tongue any longer. “I’m quite certain the same could be said about you. You practically ordered me to come back to Sanditon in your letter. You put me in charge of a building site I truly knew very little about, but expected me to do a good job. You’ve let both Alison and I know we are under your control and to do as you say regardless of what our own wishes or thoughts are. We have indulged you and done practically everything you have asked of us, yet you accuse the Parker family of using us. What about you?”

“Me? Me?” she spat angrily. “I’ve done nothing but bring out your potential. I knew from the moment I met you there was something special. The Parkers just bring you down. If you can’t see that, perhaps you aren’t as smart as I thought you were.”

Even though I was still angry, I didn’t say anything more. It seemed pointless to even try to explain myself to her. The one thing I did know, undoubtedly, she was not going to stop me from seeing the Parker family. They were a part of my life just as much as she was.

When we arrived back to the house, I bolted from the carriage before the footman even had a chance to open the door. I ran through the front door and straight up to my room and slammed the door behind me. I paced the floor angrily and had to hold back the urge to scream. Alison slowly opened the door and peaked in. I stopped pacing and stared at her. Tears filled my eyes. She shut the door and quickly ran to me letting me fall into her arms to cry. 

“What happened?” she asked as I started to calm down.

“She’s forbidden me from seeing the Parker family,” I said. “She has no right to do so. She said some horrible things about them and I’m angry with her.”

“She’s a difficult woman. You told me that from the beginning. Don’t let her get to you,” Alison comforted. I took a deep breath and truly listened to what Alison was saying. I shouldn’t be letting what she said bother me so much. She wasn’t my mother more so no right to tell me what to do. I could do as I pleased and if she didn’t like it, she could ask me to leave. I’d be happy to do so. Even if Trafalgar House was filled, I’m sure Mary would find a place for me; and Alison if Lady Denham wished her to go too.

With my own grief, I forgot about what Sidney had told me about Mr. Crowe and Alison. I gasped and pulled away from her. “I shouldn’t be going on like this when you probably have so much to tell me,” I said. “Come. Sit on the bed with me and tell me everything.”

I pulled her over to the bed and we sat facing each other. I held her hands in mine and smiled, encouraging her to tell me everything. 

“I assume Mr. Parker told you Mr. Crowe asked me to marry him?” she began looking down bashfully.

“Yes, he did. What happened? Did you accept?”

“It was all so sudden, Charlotte. I don’t even know what to think. There are so many thoughts going on in my mind. At first, I thought he was teasing me like he does sometimes. I said no, of course. Then shortly after you left with Mrs. Stringer and the children, he showed up at the picnic and we went for a walk and had a lovely conversation. It’s the first time I truly felt like I got to see who he really is. He was vulnerable, and gentle, and just remarkable in every way. I can’t stop thinking about our conversation. I think I’ve told him I accept his proposal. He’s planning to escort us back to Willingden for George’s wedding and has indicated he plans to talk to father.”

I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmingly happy for my sister. She seemed ecstatic with the potential of marrying Mr. Crowe. “I don’t know if it’s possible to be more pleased than I am right now. It’s hard to believe my little sister is going to be married. I truly believe Mr. Crowe will be a good husband for you. He is a completely different man when he’s with you.”

“Lady Denham wants to take credit for our union and has talked of little more than his income and how I’ll be well taken care of financially. I tried to tell her I didn’t care about his fortune, but she wouldn’t listen.”

“I’m beginning to see how little she cares about anything but money,” I said. “It’s rather sad. Was she never happy in either of her marriages?”

“I don’t think she was. I feel bad for her.”

“Me too.” I had a moment of understanding for Lady Denham. She had lived a very jaded life and spent most of it focused on improving her status in society. If I took any knowledge from Lady Denham, it was to live a different life. I admired her strength and independence. But I didn’t agree with her opinions on love or on the Parker family. She wouldn’t convince me differently.

Alison continued to tell me about the conversation she had with Mr. Crowe and even told me he kissed her. We both gushed about our first kisses and how special they were in their own way. With every word Alison spoke of Mr. Crowe only made me admire and appreciate him more. I couldn’t wait until I was given an opportunity to speak to him and tell him how happy he’s made my sister. 

In the morning, I didn’t want to see Lady Denham. I was quite certain if I was in the same room as her, I would explode with anger again. I left early in the morning before anyone was awake and spent the morning at the cove reading. I think a part of me was hoping Sidney would appear so I could see him in secret. Perhaps talk to him about what happened and get his perspective on what to do about Lady Denham. He never showed, though. I didn’t return to the house and instead walked to the church, meeting Alison and Lady Denham there for the service. I noticed Sidney was not there with his family, nor were Lord and Lady Babington. After church was over, I returned to the cove and read another book, as reading was my only solace to prevent me from going mad. I didn’t return to the house until late in the evening. I asked for food to be brought to my room even though I could hear Lady Denham, Alison and Mr. Crowe all in the dining room enjoying their meal. I was not in the mood to be sociable. 

The next day, I had planned to leave early enough so I wouldn’t have to see Lady Denham, but she insisted Alison and I join her for breakfast. I had to remind myself to bite my tongue and remain indifferent. We were all silent throughout most of the breakfast, only the sound of our knives scraping the plates filled the room. 

“Charlotte,” Lady Denham began, causing me to jump in my chair. “There’s a Lord Moreland planning to visit Sanditon while The Prince Regent is here. He has one of the largest fortunes in all of England and well connected with the prince. He also has five sons, none of which are married. I’ve had many correspondences with him and spoken of both you and Miss Lambe. One son, in particular, is very fond of exotic women and would like to get to know Miss Lambe better. I’d like you to show some extra attention to this family of sons and talk to Georgiana about the potential match.”

“Why me?”

“Excuse me?”

“Why not Alison or even you? Why not someone else entirely?”

“Alison is already engaged. She doesn’t need to show any favoritism to the Moreland family,” she explained.

“Are you trying to marry me off to one of these men?” I asked, shocked as the realization came to my mind. 

“Well you have to marry someone. I’d like to see you married to a well-bred husband with a fine income. Particularly the eldest, as he will inherit the title when his father dies. Yet I know love is important to you, so I will let you choose which son you fancy more. All will be well financed,” she added. 

My jaw clenched and I had to look away for a moment while she talked. “What if I choose not to marry?” I asked. “What if I’d rather continue to build Sanditon into a fine town that all of England wishes to visit?”

She scoffed at my response. “Charlotte, you know that’s not possible. Right now, you are given the opportunity to finish what Tom Parker started at my request. Without my financial backing you wouldn’t be where you are. Now, back to the Moreland sons. The eldest is Isaac. He’s twenty-eight and I’m told quite handsome. He is an avid hunter and enjoys the quieter things in life.”

“Lady Denham, I don’t care about his interests. I will be kind to the Moreland family as I'm kind to all, but I’m not looking for a husband, nor will I be accepting any proposal from anyone until I wish to marry. Please respect my wishes and stop trying to push a husband on me.”

“Very well,” she agreed with a tone of irritation. “I suspect you may change your mind when you meet the Moreland men.”

“I doubt it.”

“Charlotte, should we get going?” Alison interjected. I quickly stood and agreed we should be going. 

During the day, I was so angry with Lady Denham that I couldn’t focus on anything and Mr. Stringer had to step in and take charge on many occasions. 

“Miss Heywood, Perhaps, you can take the rest of the day off,” Mr. Stringer said. “You aren’t yourself today. We can handle the day’s tasks.”

“I’ll be fine,” I said trying to ignore his suggestions. I tried to go about my business and ignore him.

“Charlotte, I’m going to insist. We don’t need anymore accidents. Please take some time away.”

I stared at him, challenging his request with my expression. I ultimately dropped the nails I had in my hand on the ground and stormed off giving in to his request. 

I didn’t quite have a direction of where I wanted to go. All I knew is I needed to talk to someone about my frustration with Lady Denham’s meddling. Someone who understood how to handle her. Someone who had lived through it. Esther was the only person who might understand where I was at with her and give me some advice on how better to approach the situation.

~~Sidney~~

Shortly after my horrifying conversation with Lady Denham, I had to leave. I couldn’t stay in Trafalgar House any longer. I couldn’t be around my family members anymore. I knew they were trying to offer support, but I had grown to resent them. I didn’t want to resent them, but I couldn’t help the overwhelming feelings of anger at what Tom had gotten me into. Mary was an extension of Tom and Diana was just irritating and whiny. I couldn’t take her any longer. I needed distance. I was reminded back when I thought my heart was broken because of Eliza and how I needed distance from them and went to Antigua to get away. They were all just a little overbearing at the time. Some space away did me good then, space away now would also be good. 

I packed a bag with a few things and headed out into the night for Babington’s place. I was let in and Babington could tell there was something wrong as soon as he saw me. I didn’t wish to speak to him that first night and just asked for a place to stay for a while. He had a servant show me to a room and I had a restless night as I thought over everything Lady Denham had said. Even though I attempted to remedy the situation, I was practically back where I started. I was still stuck with Tom’s debt, still indebted to Lady Denham, and most importantly without Charlotte.

In the morning, I was informed Esther had taken ill and Babbers was tending to her. I left the house so as not to bother them. There was only one place I thought to go. Like so many times before, the cove was occupied by Charlotte and at the moment, I couldn’t face her. I kept my distance and walked along the beach instead even though it did little to help.

When I knew Charlotte was gone for church, I headed back to the cove and removed my clothing. I didn’t care that the water was freezing. I needed to go for a swim and release some of the tension I had built up. Everything lately was overwhelming and breaking me. I just wanted one thing to be easy. One moment without someone demanding something of me.

I headed back to the Babington house after my swim and spent the rest of the day, once again, trying to find a way to come up with enough money to pay Lady Denham. Everything I looked at was a dead end. The only glimmer of hope was a potential business partnership back in Antigua with someone I knew well while I lived there before. The only problem with that was I’d be gone for quite some time. So much could happen in that time. I couldn’t exactly ask Charlotte to wait for me as I was forbidden to do so by Lady Denham. 

Come morning the next day, Esther was feeling slightly better. In the afternoon, I had a chance to talk to Babington and now Crowe, who had shown up unexpectedly, about my predicament with Lady Denham, my potential travel to Antigua, my fear Charlotte would marry another before I return, and my inability to ask her to wait for me.

“I think you have to go,” Babington said. “Crowe and I will stick around and be sure Charlotte doesn’t get too close to someone else. We can keep any cads away from her for you. Esther and Alison will help also, won’t you, dear.”

I looked towards Esther who had been listening to our entire conversation from a nearby lounge chair. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “The male sex is the most infuriating creature on the planet!” she spat. Babington laughed and even Crowe snickered. I remained stoic while I watched her slowly get up from the chair and walk over to me. She stopped in front of me, looking like death. I worried she was going to pass out and I’d have to catch her since she slightly swayed back and forth in front of me. “Sidney, if you love the girl, tell her. Let her know your plan to go to Antigua and make her a promise to return.”

“I can’t. Lady Denham has forbidden me.”

“When have you ever been one to follow rules?” she asked. “My aunt has forbidden you from asking Charlotte to wait for you. She has not forbidden you to tell her the truth and let her make up her own mind. If she truly loves you the way you love her, she will wait for you. Stop being an ass and be honest with her for once in your life. Tell her everything. My aunt won’t have any control on what Charlotte chooses. If she tries, I imagine Charlotte will return to Willingden and wait for you there. But if you aren’t honest with her, she’s never going to have the opportunity to make the decision.”

I stood there staring blankly at Esther. How was she so clever? She was right. I hadn’t been honest with Charlotte; not completely. I’d kept so much from her, thinking I needed to fix everything before I could make her an offer. But if I was honest, Charlotte would have an opportunity to make up her own mind.

“What are you waiting for?” Babington asked with a grin. He walked up behind Esther and put his arm around her to help steady her. 

“Right.” I nodded my head and headed for the door with my coat and hat in hand. To my surprise, Charlotte was at the door looking upset and equally surprised to see me. 

She breathed a sigh, then fell forward. I caught her before she hit the ground and called for Crowe and Babington to help me get her inside. We carried her to a chair and laid her down. She was still breathing, so she only passed out, but Esther insisted we get the doctor in town. 

"I'll go," Crowe offered. He headed out on horseback to get there quicker while Babington got some water and a cool cloth. Her face was flushed, but she didn’t have a fever. She looked exhausted. 

“Charlotte?” I whispered as she started to come to. She hummed in response and tried to open her eyes but struggled. “Just rest.”

“Why don’t we try to get her to a bed,” Esther suggested. I scooped her up in my arms and followed one of the servants to a room and laid her down in the bed. I refused to let go of her hand while we waited for the doctor. I didn’t care if it was improper. It’s not like it’s the first time I’d broken the rules with her. I wasn’t leaving her side. Esther pulled up a chair for me to sit in so I could be close. 

When the doctor arrived, he tried to tell me to leave, but I refused. He questioned my presence with his expression but didn’t push the subject. He looked her over and used all kinds of tools I didn’t have a clue about. He didn’t say a word while he examined her. 

“Is she alright?” I asked irately. 

He stopped the examination and glanced back over at me. “She’s fine. Perhaps a little exhausted and maybe dehydrated. When she comes to, she needs to drink plenty of fluids. Has she had any strenuous activities lately?”

“She works at the building site practically every day,” I answered.

“She’s also been under a lot of pressure with the Prince Regent arriving and some other personal reasons as well,” Alison, who now stood in the doorway of the room, answered. Crowe stood next to her. No doubt, he rushed to fetch her at the building site to bring her to her sister’s side. 

“That would explain it,” Doctor Fuchs answered. “Let her sleep. Don’t bother her, but if she does wake, try to get her to eat or drink something.”

“We will, doctor. Thank you,” Babington said. 

Dr. Fuchs turned towards Babington and Esther and looked Esther up and down. “Perhaps I need to examine you as well?” he questioned.

“I’m fine,” she assured. “Just with child.”

Dr. Fuchs nodded his head. “I think it would be best if I have a look just to be sure. If you are struggling with sickness, I might have some remedy for it.”

“She has been gravely ill, doctor,” Babington said. “If you have anything to help, we will try it.”

“This is all normal,” Esther argued. “You don’t need to fuss.”

“Why don’t we all leave the room,” the doctor suggested. Everyone started to leave. I could hear the doctor talking more to Babington and Esther. 

“Mr. Parker?” Alison questioned. 

I glanced towards her. “I’m not leaving.”

“The doctor said we weren’t to bother her. She needs to rest,” she argued.

“I won’t disturb her. I just can’t leave,” I said. “Please allow me to stay.” I looked at Alison begging her with my eyes to not make me leave. She nodded her head and sighed granting me permission to stay. Crowe never left her side and escorted her out of the room leaving us alone. I kissed Charlotte’s knuckles and held onto her hand with both of mine and watched her, hoping, waiting, questioning everything. 

At some point I must have fallen asleep with my head against the side of the bed and didn’t wake until I felt her stir and try to pull her hand away from mine. I gripped onto her tighter, refusing to let go and sat up to look at her. Her eyes were open, but since it had grown dark outside, she struggled to see where she was. I leaned towards her so she could see it was me.

“Mr. Parker?” she asked, confused. “Where am I?”

“You’re at the Babington home. You passed out as soon as you got through the door,” I explained. 

“Oh.”

“How do you feel?” I asked. “The doctor said you were exhausted and needed sleep. I’m not sure how long you’ve been asleep, but it’s probably been a few hours.”

“I feel a little dizzy. Other than that, I’m fine,” she explained, sitting up in the bed. 

“Here, let me get you something to drink.” I grabbed the glass of water next to me and handed it to her.

“Can I have my hand back so I can take a drink?” she asked looking down at our linked fingers.

“Right.” I let go, feeling just a little embarrassed. 

She drank the glass of water and handed it back to me. “I feel a little silly,” she said hiding her head bashfully.

“Whatever for?” I asked. 

“I fainted. I remember you opening the door but nothing after that. Did I fall into your arms?”

I chuckled. “Yes.” 

She groaned. “I always laugh when the woman faints into a man’s arms in a book. It’s so unbelievable. Now here I went and did it for real. I guess I am that frivolous girl you always thought I was.”

I smiled and tilted my head to the side. “I’m just glad you fainted in my arms and not someone else’s. And you're not frivolous. You're so much more than that.”

“How is Esther?” she asked, changing the subject. “I haven’t heard from her in quite a while. I have been very upset the last couple of days and needed someone other than my sister to talk to. Esther understands Lady Denham, so I came to see her. But I also wanted to check on how her pregnancy was going.”

“She’s been rather sick lately, as I’ve been told. Babington is a good fellow, though and taking care of her. While the doctor was here examining you, he also had a look at Esther.”

“I’ll have to talk with her and see for my own eyes how she’s doing. I’m not sure I quite trust the doctor’s opinion,” she said.

I laughed. “Would you like me to get her?” I offered. “They are just in the next room. Crowe and Alison are here also.”

“No,” she responded. “I’ll speak to them later.”

“Do you want to rest again? Do you wish me to leave?” I asked.

“No. You can stay,” she offered. I smiled at her offer and reached for her hand again. She willingly let me take it and I brushed a kiss across her knuckles. 

“Why have you been upset lately?” I asked. 

She sighed dramatically as if thinking on it made her anger return. "Lady Denham has forbidden me from spending time with the Parker family. I assume mostly with you. She doesn’t trust your family anymore and thinks all of you have betrayed her and I’m going to get sucked into another betrayal.”

“I’m also forbidden from seeing you,” I answered. “Well, perhaps not forbidden, but I’m not to pursue you nor ask you to wait for me.”

“Wait for you?” she questioned. 

I sighed and dropped my head but held her hand tighter. It was time to come clean. “Charlotte, I attempted to pay Lady Denham about half of what Tom owed with the expectation I would continue to make installments. I thought it would work. I thought with her affections for you, she’d be willing to work with me knowing how much I care for you as well. I was wrong. She has asked me not to pursue you until the debt is paid in full and has every expectation by the time that is, you’ll be happily married to someone else.”

“I’m aware she’s trying to find me a husband. She has five brothers coming for a visit and has offered for me to choose one. She is pushing for the eldest since he will someday have a title, of course.”

My jaw clenched and I breathed out a little louder and faster than I should. I didn’t like the thought of potential suitors. 

“I told her I wasn’t interested,” Charlotte said. “I don’t plan to marry anyone.” I rubbed my thumb across her knuckles and focused in on our entwined fingers trying hard not to think about what she was saying. “Unless, of course, I’m marrying you.”

My eyes jumped to hers and a grin formed across my face. “I thought you said you never wanted to marry me.”

“I have a bad habit of jumping to conclusions; especially when it comes to you. I should have given you the opportunity to explain yourself. I should have known you’d never abandon your family.”

“I want nothing more than to marry you, Charlotte. I love you more than you’ll ever be able to understand. But I can’t until the debt is paid. I’ve ultimately made myself a poor man with outrageous debts and I can’t give you the life you deserve.”

“It’s alright,” she said in a saddened tone. “We will figure something out. We always do.”

I dropped my head again and brought her fingers to my lips, resting her hand against them. “I might have to leave Sanditon soon,” I said.

“For London?” she asked.

“No,” I answered, looking up at her eyes. “For Antigua. I have an opportunity with someone I used to know there. It’s potential for a lot of money that I can pay off the debt with. I might be gone for a few years, maybe longer.”

“I see,” she said, looking away. Even in the dark room, I could still see the tears forming in her eyes. She rose her head and looked at me with a strong expression. “No matter. I’ll wait.”

“I can’t ask you to wait for me,” I said. 

“You aren’t asking,” she replied. “I’m offering. I love you, Sidney. I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone but you. I don't care how long I have to wait. I refuse to go through life with anyone else.”

There was a moment of understanding and hope between us. Even though I knew I shouldn’t, I leaned in and stole a gentle kiss. To my surprise, she leaned in again and kissed me harder and more passionately before pulling away and leaning back against the bed. 

“Why is everything so easy with you? Yet so terribly difficult at the same time?” I asked. “Does that even make sense?”

She giggled then reached out and brushed her fingers across my cheek and jaw. “It’s like the universe has two sides. One of them is pushing us together and the other is trying to pull us apart.”

“Exactly,” I answered, reaching with my other hand to brush a strand of hair away from her face. 

“I refuse to let the latter win,” she stated determinedly. 

My chest filled with hope and possibility. I smiled at her and brushed my thumb against her cheek. “Nor will I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully everyone is left with a happy crumb. I probably won't be able to update for a while as I have a very busy week ahead and my house has sort of suffered for this obsession. I will be back next week with Lady Susan and the Prince Regent.


	25. The Favorite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were a few comments about Alison accepting Mr. Crowe’s proposal a little too quickly. I just want to clarify that she hasn’t actually accepted his proposal entirely. She has indicated she wishes to, but he needs to talk to her father first. At this point they are basically courting with the expectation an engagement will happen, which was very typical for that time period. They discuss their future and what they want from each other in a marriage to be sure they are compatible. Sidney and Charlotte are sort of in a courtship as well, even if it hasn’t been made public other than to a few close friends. 
> 
> Also, I won't be writing as much of Alison and Crowe's interactions. A few here and there, but not as in great detail like Charlotte and Sidney. That's the HEA we are all after. Just know, Alison and Crowe are having lots of small interactions and spending time together under the careful watch of Lady Denham, the Babington's, or Charlotte.

~~Charlotte~~

I woke up in the strange bed feeling well rested for the first time in a long time. A beam of sunlight hit my face just right to cause me to squint and turn my head away. I became all too aware of Sidney still gripping onto my hand as if he might perish if he let go. He still sat in the chair leaning his head against the bed while he slept. As bad as I felt that he had to sleep in that position all night, I was delighted he was still here with me. As much as he might perish if he had to let go, I feared the same for myself. 

For weeks I’d been trying to suppress my feelings for him. Trying to tell myself I could get over him, I could move on, I didn’t love him; not truly. Yet, with every day that passed, I only became more and more aware of how much I was lying to myself. I was hurting myself by trying to force my feelings away. 

When I woke up in the middle of the night to find Sidney next to me, I knew in that moment I had to profess my feelings for him. I couldn’t deny it any longer. For the first time in a very long time, I felt relief. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I wanted to believe it was the same for him. In some way, we would find our way back to each other, even if there were still obstacles in our path. 

I brushed my fingertips against my lips, remembering the kiss we had shared in the night. I smiled remembering it. I had been dreaming of our first kiss for so long, everyday trying to relive it in my mind, yet trying to suppress it at the same time. In the night, he barely brushed his lips against mine, which wasn’t enough for me. I remembered boldly leaning towards him and kissing him again, deepening the kiss, consuming his mouth with mine, feeling like I needed him like air in my lungs. All sense was lost, until it wasn’t. I became aware of where we were and what we were doing. I had to pull away and put some distance between us. How much I wished I could continue to kiss him all through the night, but it would be far too improper. The mere fact he spent the night at my bedside was even improper. I prayed it wasn’t something someone in the house would gossip about.

I squeezed Sidney’s hand and lightly combed my fingers through his hair with my other hand. He took a deep breath in as he sat up to look at me. He smiled and rubbed my fingers with his thumb. I smiled back at him, knowing our love for each other was enough to get us through anything. We had made promises in the night. We had declared ourselves to each other. We were whole together.

“How do you feel this morning?” he asked.

“Much better.”

He brought my hand to his lips. I watched his mouth kiss my knuckles, wishing he was kissing my mouth instead. 

“I fear I dreamt last night’s conversation,” he admitted.

“If you did, I had the same dream.”

He smirked and nodded his head. “I think I like us having the same dreams, the same hopes, the same future.”

I sat up in the bed, turning slightly towards him and joined both of our hands. “What are your dreams for us?” I asked.

He leaned against the bed, coming within inches from my face. “Together. Happy. Married.”

I smiled. “What about your hopes for us?”

He grinned, looking unquestionably happy. “Together. Happy. Married.”

I laughed. “And our future?”

He chuckled and ducked his head for a moment before looking back at me, with his head turned to one side and looking serious, but in a good way. “Together. Happy. Married.”

I took a in deep breath, breathing him in and filling every sense with only him. Our eyes were connected in a way only lovers would look at each other. I had every intention of kissing him again in that moment, until the creak of the door opening broke us from our trance. He sat back in the chair and released my hands from his. The pain I felt at his release, was overwhelming. I wished to never be separated from him again. 

“You don’t have to hide around me,” Alison said from the doorway with a grin on her face. “I’ve come in here multiple times during the night. It’s not as if I don’t know.”

Sidney sighed in relief and reached for my hand once again. I felt whole again once my hand was back in his. 

I smiled at my sister as she came to the other side of the bed. “Are you feeling better this morning?”

“Much better. Thank you.”

“You gave us all quite a scare. It’s a very good thing mother and father aren’t here. Mother would have been grief stricken. Mr. Parker here hasn’t left your bedside all night. I was given a room down the hall so I could stay close to you.”

“I just needed to rest. I admit, I’ve probably been doing too much lately, and my emotions have been a little all over the place as of late. I’m sorry if I scared you, but I truly am fine,” I assured.

“No reason to dwell on it any longer. As long as you are well is all that matters,” she said smiling and brushing my forehead like mother used to do to us when we were little and not feeling well.

“Thank you, Alison.” 

“How about some breakfast?” she asked.

“That would be lovely.”

She walked out of the room but left the door open, so Sidney and I were not entirely alone. I turned my attention back to him and he leaned forward to rest his elbows on the bed. He looked more serious and concerned. 

“What is it?”

“I just thought of something,” he said pensively. “Your family. Will they accept me?”

I smiled and stiffened a giggle. “My family will love you if I love you.”

“Even if I am a poor man with nothing to offer you?” he asked sadly.

I brushed his cheek with my fingertips. “Even if you are a poor man. Besides, it won’t be forever. You have plans to remedy that issue, don’t you?” I asked.

“If all goes well, yes.”

“Sidney, it’ll all turn out. I have every faith of that truth. We will have our future together,” I assured. He smiled and nodded his head in agreement. 

“Heads up!” Babington said from the doorway. “Lady Denham is pulling up to the house.”

Sidney let go of my hand and stood to his feet backing up to the end of the bed. Crowe and Alison walked into the room and Alison took the seat where Sidney had been sitting while Crowe stood at the end of the bed with Babington and Sidney. I sat up further in the bed and brushed my fingers through my hair. Esther walked in moments later with Lady Denham at her side.

“Ah, look at you. All better, I presume?” she asked.

“Much better, thank you,” I said.

“Let’s get you home and into your own bed, then?” she said.

“I think I will be fine to go into the building site today. I have some ideas to run past Mr. Robinson and Mr. Stringer.”

To my surprise, there was a resounding no from everyone in the room.

“Perhaps Charlotte should rest here in bed for the day?” Esther suggested.

“Poppycock! Has fainting prevented the use of her legs?” she scoffed.

“No. But the doctor did say she needs to rest. She doesn’t need to be moved right away,” Esther argued.

Lady Denham looked around the room at everyone standing around me. “You expect her to rest with this crowd of people gawking at her? Why exactly are all of you here? I can understand Alison, as Charlotte is your sister, but Mr. Parker and Mr. Crowe, what is your purpose for being here?”

“Mr. Crowe and Mr. Parker have been our guests for many days now,” Babington defended. “It’s not their fault they just happened to be here when Miss Heywood fainted.”

“I still must insist Charlotte return home at once,” Lady Denham demanded.

“Lady Denham,” I began. “I came out here yesterday to see Esther and check in on how she’s doing with her pregnancy. I never got the chance to do so. Please allow me to stay for the day so I can visit with her.”

“There will be plenty of time for that when you are feeling better.”

“To be honest, Lady Denham,” Babington interjected. “It would make me a great deal happier if Miss Heywood were to stay here for the day with Esther. The men will be working in town all day preparing for the Prince Regent’s arrival. Esther has been dreadfully ill lately with her pregnancy. I’d feel better if she wasn’t left alone.”

“You have servants. She won’t be alone,” she argued.

“But it would be much more agreeable to have a friend rather than a servant to spend my day with,” Esther added.

Lady Denham sighed and looked irritated. “Very well,” she agreed. I glanced at Sidney who had a slight smirk on his face. “But I expect both you and Alison back this evening. I’m having a special dinner made.”

“We will, Lady Denham,” Alison agreed.

Babington escorted Lady Denham out of the room discussing the renovations he had commissioned for the house. I mouthed the words, “thank you” to Esther. She gave me an endearing smile before following Babington and Lady Denham out of the room. I could only imagine the type of care I’d receive from Lady Denham if I was to return today. She’d have me drinking sea water and ass’s milk all while talking horribly about the Parker family, I assumed.

“I suppose I should be getting ready to leave,” Crowe said sort of bashfully and slowly leaving the room. Clearly, he was waiting around for Alison to join him.

“Do you wish me to stay with you today?” Alison asked. 

“You are entirely capable of making up your own mind.”

“I’ll stay if you think I should,” she offered.

“I think I’ll just rest as much as possible today so I can be back at the building site tomorrow. We only have a few days left before the Prince Regent arrives. I don’t want to be laid up in bed for too long. I’ll give everyone today, but I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Then maybe I should go to give you time to rest?” She looked hopeful as if she actually wanted to go to the building site.

I laughed. “Go, Alison. I will be fine. If you don’t go, Mr. Crowe might not know what to do with himself. He is rather attached to you.”

She smiled bashfully and bit her bottom lip. “With every day that passes and every conversation we have, I feel like I’m falling more and more in love with him. There’s no denying my feelings anymore.”

“I’m happy for you. Although I do believe I saw this coming long before either of you did. It didn’t go unnoticed how Mr. Crowe chose jobs at the building site that were always in close proximity of wherever you were. I’m not sure he even realized he was doing it.”

Sidney laughed at the end of the bed, causing both of us to turn towards him. “It’s still rather unbelievable to see Crowe so captivated by love.”

“I’m fairly certain most people could say the same about you,” I reminded.

He nodded his head in agreement. “What is it about the Heywood women that can make a man forever changed?”

I smiled at him. “I believe it’s our ability to see past all the pretense and love regardless of the flaws.”

He hummed and with a smirk. “Perhaps you’re right.” Our eyes connected in a trance only we were invited to. There was always so much unspoken between us, but our eyes said all we held back.

“I will be back this afternoon to collect you for our return to Lady Denham’s,” Alison said, squeezing my hand before standing from the chair and leaving the room. I distinctly saw her smile at Sidney, which was probably the first time I’d seen her be kind to him the entire time we’d been in Sanditon. 

Sidney walked back over to the side of the bed and took my hand in his. “I pray I see you again before you return to Lady Denham’s,” he said, hopeful.

“I hope so too. I believe we have much to discuss,” I said. 

He gave me a sincere smile before leaning down and kissing my forehead. “Until this evening, then.”

He walked out of the room and left me alone. I got out of bed and walked over to the window to watch him leave with Babington, Crowe and Alison. How much I wished I was joining them. 

Esther walked in with a servant following behind her with a tray of food. “Back in bed and try to eat something,” she insisted. “I promised my aunt I would watch over you.”

I crawled back into the covers and settled in while the tray was placed in front of me. “What is it with Lady Denham? She has been acting as if she is my mother and has some right to tell me what to do and who I can spend my time with. I don’t appreciate her meddling.”

Esther sighed and sat down on the bed next to me. “I believe since she never had children of her own, she has this overwhelming sense to manage everyone else’s lives. She tried to do it to me for years, but I wouldn’t entertain the idea. That was when she brought in Clara Brereton to be her surrogate daughter. What my brother and Clara did deeply hurt her. She used that to guilt me into moving in with her after she nearly died. When I married, I think once again, she felt that loss of never having children of her own and needed to fill that void. She respects you and finds you amusing. Once you and Sidney marry, she will move on to some other young girl she can make her protégé. I assume after last night, promises of marriage were made between you and Mr. Parker?”

“Promises were made, but there’s still so much standing in our way. The biggest obstacle being your aunt’s demand of her money Sidney promised to pay in place of his brother,” I answered.

“Perhaps I’ll try to talk to her and soften her up a bit,” Esther offered.

“She seems to have a grudge against the Parker family. I can slightly understand why, because of Tom’s mistakes, but Sidney didn’t have anything to do with it. If anything, he’s been trying to fix it for everyone. Shouldn’t she be happy he’s at least trying?”

“I almost wonder if she has a grudge against Mr. Parker because it means he will be taking you away from her. I think, out of everyone she has taken under her wing, you have been her favorite.”

“I’m her favorite?” I laughed, thinking it preposterous. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

“You underestimate yourself,” she said. “Everyone takes a liking to you.”

“Lady Denham is trying to marry me off to one of five brothers. I find your hypothesis a little far-fetched.”

“She knows you’re too headstrong for nonsense like choosing someone else. She is anticipating you’ll have little interest in anyone but Mr. Parker.”

“Then why would she demand he not ask me to wait for him? He could be gone for many years. Wouldn’t it make sense for me to wait so then I’m under her careful watch until he returns?”

“I truly can't say. Perhaps she does have a grudge against him for some reason,” she said.

“What am I supposed to do, then? Continue to let her run my life?” I wondered.

“You stand up to her and tell her your plans to marry Sidney Parker; as soon as possible I would hope. Why wait until he returns? Marry now and be done with it. You can still stay with Lady Denham while he’s gone,” she said with a smirk. How I wish that was possible. 

“Enough about Lady Denham. How are you feeling?” I asked.

“Today has been a good day. Most days lately have been terrible. I can barely crawl out of bed. Dr. Fuchs gave me some sort of tea leaves yesterday. I was skeptical at first, but it actually seems to be helping.”

“Illness in the first few months is all normal. It’ll pass soon enough,” I assured. 

“I forget you are probably more knowledgeable on pregnancy and birth than anyone in Sanditon. I am looking forward to the day we can return to London. We were only scheduled to be here for a week to discuss renovations of the house. Then word of the Prince Regent’s arrival caused my dear husband to wish to stay longer and see his old friend. I, on the other hand, have little interest in entertaining the Prince Regent.”

“In your state, I can understand why,” I sympathized. “I imagine I will have little interest in entertaining him either. I know his visit is good for the town and its future, but I’m not much into entertaining the higher class. I feel rather small in their presence.”

“At least my aunt will be far too busy in those endeavors and perhaps will let up a little on you,” she reminded. 

Esther and I talked a while longer about her pregnancy and how she is feeling. We made plans for me to be present when she does have the baby. I imagined that would mean a trip to London as I didn’t think they would stay in Sanditon much longer after the Prince Regent's visit was over. I had a feeling it would be many years before they would return. Once the baby comes, Esther would more than likely be inclined to stay close to home. I know my mother and father always thought it best to keep new babies at home away from anyone other than family for at least the first two years of life. 

In the afternoon, we both had a nap and slept almost until the men and my sister returned. I only had a few moments to talk to Sidney before Alison and I made our way back to Sanditon House. I discussed with him how the building was coming along as I cared of little more while I couldn’t be there and see for my own eyes. He assured me everything was going as planned and I had nothing to worry about. There were even five new houses taken up by visitors. It was hard for me not to worry while being away from the action, but I had to trust that Sidney he had it all under control. 

When Alison and I returned to Sanditon House for dinner, it felt awkward. The last time I was in this dining room, I had gotten upset with Lady Denham and there had been little to remedy that anger I felt towards her. 

After we ate, I said I was tired and returned to my room instead of joining Lady Denham and Alison in the drawing room. I didn’t feel like being sociable with her knowing all she’d done to prevent Sidney and I being together. 

The last couple of days leading up to the Prince Regent visit, I kept my distance from Lady Denham and focused solely on finishing the building projects, the party planning, and making sure everything was prepared for the arrival. Most everyone in the town were busily preparing for his visit and the expectation that he would bring along a large entourage of guests. Even Lady Denham was preparing for his visit, as she insisted he stay at her estate rather than in town. She had her entire serving staff cleaning every room and every surface. The library she had recently gutted was now blocked off with shelving and boards with decorative cloths draped across them, so it didn’t look too conspicuous. Alison and I agreed to share a room while there were guests, so another room was freed up if it was needed. Lady Denham and I had, for the most part, put our differences aside and focused on the arrival. 

The day before the arrival, Lady Denham came into town to see how the buildings were coming along. She was very pleased and looked rather proud of all we accomplished in such a short time. 

“It’s hard to believe you did all this, Charlotte,” Lady Denham said.

“I didn’t do it all. I was only one person among many who contributed,” I replied. 

“You need to give yourself more credit,” she said almost as if she were reprimanding me. “Stand by what you’ve done. You’ve done a far better job than Tom Parker ever did.”

“Lady Denham, may I show you what we’ve done to the assembly rooms to give them more space for the extra visitors?” Mr. Robinson asked, steering her away and towards the assembly rooms. 

I lingered behind, looking over a few more last-minute touches before reaching the conclusion it was done. I felt Sidney’s presence behind me even before I could see him. All of my senses were highly alerted to him as we had gotten closer over the last few days. It’s been tricky trying to find moments alone while both of us so busy. Somehow, we were able to make it work as I was fully aware Alison and Mr. Crowe were able to do the same. 

I glanced around to make sure no one was nearby before turning around and pulled behind a wall of a building. He smiled and took both my hands in is. 

“What did Lady D think?” he asked.

“She’s quite impressed with what we were able to accomplish. She seems pleased. None of this would have been possible without you,” I reminded.

“None of this would have been possible without you,” he countered. “Everything is coming together all thanks to you. To be honest, I’m only here because of you. If you hadn’t scolded me in your family home when I came looking for Georgiana weeks ago, I wonder if I would have followed you back here.”

“What would you have done instead?” I asked playfully.

“More than likely remained in London and wait for my death to come,” he admitted which made me sad to think about. “I had already began having second thoughts about going through with the marriage to Mrs. Campion. The sheer thought of it was like prison. It felt as if I was suffocating. I wanted out of the engagement. I wanted to come back to you where I feel whole. Where I feel like myself. Where it’s easy to be me. I felt powerless to do so.”

“And what finally changed your mind?” I asked.

“I was informed by a good friend of yours that Mrs. Campion had dealings with the slave trade. She had been threatening Georgiana and causing her undo stress. When Georgiana ran away, after searching everywhere for her, Arthur was the one who suggested she may have gone to see you. I hopped on a horse so quickly and rushed to Willingden only to be brought back to reality when I saw you. In that moment, I knew there was no going back. I had to find another way. I had to be with you.”

“And here we are, together, yet not quite together.” I was trying to tease, but my tone was sadder than I planned it to be.

“I’ll find a way, Charlotte. I will fix this,” he assured.

“I know you will. I just worry about how long it’ll take. I don’t want to be separated from you for too long,” I said.

“Give me two years. I’m hopeful it’ll all turn around,” he said.

“I’ll give you as long as it takes. I’m only hoping it doesn’t take that long,” I said.

He smiled and looked down at our connected hands between us. “Are you looking forward to the arrival of Prince Regent and Lady Worcester?”

“I fear I will hardly sleep tonight,” I admitted. “Everyone has done so much to prepare and it’s paying off nicely. Before we know it, Sanditon will be the place to visit for all of England, perhaps even farther and wider.”

“Please try to sleep. I don’t need you fainting in front of the Prince Regent,” he teased.

“Perhaps a fainting spell would bring more attention. Imagine the headlines in the papers. Frivolous girl faints in Prince Regent’s arms during visit in Sanditon,” I said, laughing.

He chuckled at my joke before growing serious again. “I must warn you. I saw Mrs. Campion arrive in Sanditon earlier today.”

“Oh,” I said sadly.

“More than likely she’s here for the Prince Regent’s arrival like everyone else. She may try to speak to me or go on as if we are still engaged. I want you to know, it doesn’t mean anything. She knows I have no plans to marry her. I believe she is using the engagement as a ruse to gain favor in society. Once she finds someone new to marry, she will release me.”

“I understand,” I said.

“You said the same thing when I told you the news of the engagement. Please reassure me you know my affections for you are true and nothing will come between us.”

“I promised you, I would not let anything tear us apart. I don’t break promises,” I assured.

He grinned and breathed a sigh of relief. “Perhaps your friend, Lady Susan will have some ideas on how to overcome all this.”

“She very well might. She’s very intuitive to what’s going on in the world of high society.”

“I’ll let you get back to Lady Denham before she starts wondering where you are. Good luck tomorrow if I don’t see you before then,” he whispered before kissing my hand and darting off into the street.

I took a large breath in trying to prepare myself for everything that was about to happen. In the morning, the Prince Regent would arrive with Lady Susan. I was more eager to see her than the Prince Regent. I had an inkling she would be rather pleased to discover what had transpired between Sidney and me.


	26. The Prince Regent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for all the comments and kudos on this story. They definitely give me the motivation to keep going. I have had quite a few sleepless nights to bring you all chapters quickly. I'm planning to go back through and edit everything since I know there are plenty of mistakes. Every time I go back to remind myself of something I wrote, I cringe at the glaring mistakes I find. But the reality is, I'm usually writing while half asleep or editing with kids screaming in the background.

~~Charlotte~~

Alison and I stood with Lady Denham right outside of the house with the serving staff, waiting for the arrival on the Prince Regent and Lady Susan. Alison and I were dressed according to Lady Denham’s standards. Our hair was up in extravagant hairdos with even more extravagant hats and what could only be described as ball gowns in satin. We looked as if we were heading off to a dance instead of greeting guests. Lady Denham looked exhausted after all she had done to prepare for their arrival. She had her serving staff working extra hard, but she had to oversee all they were doing to be sure it was to her standards. 

“Here they come!” Alison shouted bouncing up and down once noticing the train of carriages and horses coming up the path. 

“Stand still, Alison!” Lady Denham scolded.

“This is very exciting,” Alison said. “I can hardly breathe.”

“It’s very promising for Sanditon,” I added.

“Remember not to speak unless spoken to,” Lady Denham reminded. "We definitely don’t need the Prince Regent looking down on us because of two headstrong girls.”

Alison and I gave each other a look of irritation. I didn’t think Lady Denham even realized how her words were offensive. 

Men riding horses rode up in front of the house first, followed by many carriages. The horses adorned in gold harnesses and bright red blankets. An open carriage pulled up in front of the house and I saw Lady Susan holding a parasol sitting next to the Prince Regent. She smiled elegantly towards us. She and the Prince Regent were helped out of the carriage. I wasn’t sure what to think of the Prince Regent. He seemed rather stiff and displeased with being here. I almost got the impression he was looking down on us before he was even introduced to us. Sanditon was going to be a tough sale to him. Anxiety crept into my stomach. 

“Charlotte, my dear,” Lady Susan said, walking over to me and taking my hands in hers. “How I have missed you. I presume you are doing well?”

“Very well, thank you. We are all so pleased to have you visit us again. My sister, Alison is visiting with me.” Lady Susan smiled at Alison who curtsied towards her.

“Lady Susan has talked of little more than of this Sanditon place. I decided I needed to see it for myself,” the Prince Regent spoke from a few feet away.

“Allow me to introduce his Regency of all of England,” Lady Susan introduced. Alison and I curtsied while Lady Denham stepped forward to curtsy and introduce herself as Lady Denham of Sanditon then introduce Alison and I as the Miss’s Heywood.

“We are delighted to have you visit. Please make yourselves at home. My staff will see to your every need. We have plenty of rooms prepared,” Lady Denham offered. “If there is anything you need during your stay, we will accommodate to the best of our ability.”

“I think we would like to get settled in, perhaps have a little something to eat and have a light rest before going into town and having a look around. I’d also like to get caught up with Charlotte,” Lady Susan declared. 

“Of course.” Lady Denham called her servants over. Their own personal servants began unpacking the bags and tending to the horses while Lady Denham’s servants ushered them into the house. A few of the carriages held other high society people I wasn’t familiar with but seemed to overlook us and follow servants into the house. 

Alison and I followed them inside and into the drawing room where Lady Denham had tea with sandwiches, fruit, and biscuits set up. We sat down across from Lady Susan and the Prince Regent and listened to Lady Denham raddle on about the town, her own ventures, and how pleased she is to have such a visit in Sanditon. 

“Alison?” Lady Denham said. “Come play the piano for us.” Alison’s face went pale as she was asked to play for the Prince Regent and Lady Susan as well as their guests. She glanced towards me with trepidation. I gave her an encouraging smile as she slowly walked across the floor towards the piano and taking her place on the bench. 

“Come sit with me, Charlotte,” Lady Susan called. I nodded with a smile and walked over to sit down next to her. Alison began to play a well-known song that I had heard her play plenty of times before. She was smart to play something she was familiar with so as not to make mistakes in front of our guests. 

“I’m looking forward to hearing about your endeavors towards love, Charlotte. Do tell, are things looking brighter for you and Mr. Parker?”

“They are,” I answered giving her a slight smile.

“I do believe I remember telling you the race was not yet won. I had it on good authority Mr. Parker would come around,” she declared squeezing my hands affectionately. 

“I believe I have you to thank for much of what has transpired.”

“I had very little to do with anything. You have run this race on your own,” she said with a smile. “I do wish to hear all the details but at a later time when we are alone, perhaps.”

“Of course.”

“Tell me about your sister,” she asked. “She’s quite accomplished at the piano and a beauty. Tell me, does she have any prospects?”

“She does actually,” I answered. “Mr. Crowe has taken a liking to her. They have gotten close over the last few days. A proposal has been offered.”

“How thrilling!” she said. “And has Mr. Parker offered you a proposal?”

I looked down and pursed my lips, thinking how best to answer such a question. “Not in so many words, but promises have been made.”

She hummed in response. “Sounds to me, I need to hear more sooner rather than later,” she declared. “Would you care to take a walk with me around the park?”

“I’d be honored.”

She stood and walked towards the Prince Regent declaring he should take a nap now that his room had been settled. He obliged and thanked Alison for her playing and Lady Denham for her hospitality before walking up the stairs with Lady Susan. She was gone for a few minutes before returning and declaring she’d like to go for a walk to stretch her legs. She asked me and Alison to accompany her.

“I think I may take a small nap as well. It’s been rather tiresome preparing for your visit,” Lady Denham decided. She called Alison over to walk her to her room, which Alison obliged. When Alison returned, we headed out into the garden for a walk. Some of the other attendants followed along but kept their distance from the three of us.

“Do tell. What has transpired between you and Mr. Parker?” Lady Susan asked.

I told her everything about how he kept things from me, how he had jealousy issues and got in a fight, made assumptions that were untrue, I told her how we decided to work together to fix Sanditon and bring it back to life, how I fainted because of exhaustion and finally Sidney and I were able to work out our differences and come together with promises of a future. I explained how he gave up everything to attempt the debt, but it wasn’t quite enough. I also told her of Lady Denham’s terms for the debt the Parker family owed, and how Tom had all but vanished leaving everything on his brothers to figure out. She was quite shocked at how much had happened. 

“Whatever happened to Mrs. Campion?” she asked. “Did she release Mr. Parker from his engagement?”

I sighed. “She is fully aware Sidney has no plans to marry her, but she is refusing to release him. She has agreed to a postponement for now. Sidney will be leaving for an extended amount of time in Antigua where he has business connections. He’s hoping to raise enough money to finish paying the debt Lady Denham is demanding. While he’s gone, he believes she will move on and find someone else to marry.”

“And where does that leave you?” she asked.

“I will stay here and wait for his return,” I answered.

“That hardly seems fair of him to ask of you,” she said.

“He didn’t ask. Lady Denham forbid him from asking me to wait as part of her agreement with him. I offered to wait even when he told me I didn’t have to. I can’t think of any other reason why I shouldn’t wait. Lady Denham doesn't know, of course.”

“Sounds like everything is planned out other than the debt,” she said. “Why exactly is Lady Denham refusing to let Mr. Parker marry you?”

“Something to do with having a family will have more expenses, taking away from paying the debt back. I believe it’s more than that, though. She seems to be taking a great interest in my marriage prospects and has a string of men lined up for me to meet this week. I think she has a grudge against Sidney for some reason. Perhaps it’s more towards Tom and Sidney got caught up in it because Tom is his brother. I’m not entirely sure. Lady Denham and I have been at odds for a few days now because of it. I refuse to let her run my life.”

“I would expect nothing less from you,” she said. “Perhaps I can have a talk with her and get her to lighten up on both you and Mr. Parker.”

“The greatest thing to come out of your visit is everyone has come to stay. It’s not even the best season to visit, but houses all over town have been taken up and the hotel is overrun by guests. It’s only a matter of time before Sanditon becomes the place to be for all of England.”

“Is that what you want?” she asked.

“If it means money is coming in, it means Lady Denham is paid sooner. Of course, it’s what I want,” I answered.

“Do tell me, Alison, what is this I hear of an engagement for you too?” Lady Susan asked of my sister who was rather quiet during our talk. 

“Mr. Crowe asked me to marry him,” she answered. “It was quite unexpected and sudden. I wasn’t sure if he was serious at first.”

“Was he?” she asked.

“Very much so. I’m very happy with him and have every intention of accepting. He plans to talk to our father soon.”

“Thank you for reminding me, Alison,” I said. “Tomorrow Alison and I are leaving for the day to attend our brother’s wedding in Willingden. Lord and Lady Babington plan to spend the day with you and the Prince Regent.”

“How delightful. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Lord Babington and I have yet to meet his new wife. I had plans to introduce myself in London, but I had other responsibilities to attend to.”

“I hope you aren’t too disappointed we will be leaving during your visit. We will only be gone for the day and will return as soon as possible.”

She tucked her arm through mine as we continued to walk. “Family is far more important than a visit from the Prince Regent. I’m sure we will be in good hands.”

“I appreciate your understanding. We weren’t sure we would be able to go at first, but with Alison’s newfound closeness with Mr. Crowe, he has offered to accompany us with ulterior motives, of course.” 

“And is Mr. Parker accompanying you as well?”

“He hasn’t mentioned wishing to come,” I said.

“Have you asked him?” she wondered.

“Perhaps I should.”

“I think it’s a wonderful idea,” Alison added. “I think mother and father would appreciate meeting the man you plan to marry.”

They both gave me lots to think about. Although I didn’t need father’s permission to marry, I still would like my family to know him and like him. I’d want father’s approval of the man I wish to marry.

After a little more walking, we returned to the house where the Prince Regent was awake from his nap and waiting for our return. Lady Denham was still resting so we decided to go into town to give them a tour. Alison and I were helped into their open carriage across from them. It was rather unnerving to be in the same carriage as the Prince Regent. 

As we came upon the cliffs, I pointed out the bathing machines in the distance and explained the logistics of their purpose as well as the split beach for women and children to enjoy themselves while the men go further down away from the women. He seemed indifferent to my explanation.

When we pulled into town, it was as if everyone stopped whatever it was they were doing and stared. 

I pointed out the shops along the promenade and the assembly rooms where balls and parties were held. We rode through the streets until we came up to the Waterloo Terrace. “This is what we’ve been working on the last few weeks. To be honest, it’s been in the works for months. There was a fire recently and many of the houses had to be rebuilt.”

We got out of the carriage and walked towards the building where both Mr. Stringer and Mr. Robinson stood looking nervous. “These are our foremen of the project.” 

“Your excellency,” Mr. Robinson said, tensely bowing towards him. Mr. Stringer bowed also but didn’t say anything. The Prince Regent looked rather annoyed with them. 

“Who is the architect?” he asked, taking a moment to look around and tap on things with his cane.

“Mr. Tom Parker was the original architect, but both Mr. Stringer and Mr. Robinson have contributed more so recently,” I answered.

“I must say, Miss Heywood has also contributed in the architecture,” Mr. Stringer interjected.

“You had a part in all this?” he asked of me.

Before I could answer, there was a familiar voice walking up behind us.

“She most certainly has. She’s probably had a bigger impact on this whole project than anyone else,” Sidney said causing my heart to race and smile bashfully.

“Who might you be?” the Prince Regent asked looking annoyed to be addressed without an introduction.

“Allow me to introduce Mr. Sidney Parker. This is Tom Parker’s brother,” Lady Susan introduced. “I was made aware this afternoon how Mr. Parker funded a great deal of the rebuild Charlotte was involved in.”

“Yes, Miss Heywood ran a tight ship. This project shouldn’t be where it is now. Charlotte made all this possible,” Sidney said. The Prince Regent looked him up and down as if he was trying to understand why he was saying all this. He decided to not respond and walked further into the building to inspect the artistry and sturdiness of the walls. I had heard he was a man who admired architecture, so I assumed he was looking for flaws. I was quite nervous with what he thought. 

A carriage pulled up briskly near us, causing all of us to turn our head to see who it was. Mr. Tom Parker stepped out in one swift jump and rushed towards the crowd. “A thousand pardons for my delay,” he said bowing as he ran over. “Tom Parker at your service. Delighted to make your acquaintance. Please allow me to give you the grand tour.”

“Tom, a word please,” Sidney said in an angry tone. 

“Sidney, can’t you see I’m entertaining guests? We can’t keep the Prince Regent and Lady Worcester waiting.”

“I insist,” Sidney said before dragging Tom away. I listened to them from a distance, while Lady Susan and the Prince Regent walked around exploring the building.

“You have been gone for weeks,” Sidney spat at Tom. “Where have you been?”

“Sidney, this is not the time or place for this.”

“Answer the question, Tom!”

Tom hesitated for a moment. “I decided to try my hand in India. When I overheard someone speaking of the Prince Regent coming to Sanditon, I turned around and came back. It’s my duty to show him what I’ve created.”

“No. It’s your duty to stand back and let the people who actually built this take the credit,” Sidney said.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Sidney. Who is giving the tour? Mr. Robinson and Mr. Stringer?” he scoffed.

“Charlotte finished what you abandoned. She has done more at this building site than you ever have. You won’t take that away from her.”

“Charlotte?” he said with a confused tone. “What has Charlotte done?”

Sidney shook his head in disbelief. “What hasn’t she done? This visit from the Prince Regent and Lady Worcester wouldn’t even be possible without what she’s done. You abandoned us all and we’ve been left to pick up the pieces. You don’t get to swoop in at the end and take all the credit.”

“Sidney, it’s alright,” I said, coming closer to them and placing my hand on his arm to calm him. I did not want them to fight in front of our guests. “I don’t mind standing aside. It was Tom’s creation to begin with. I merely finished it. That is all.”

“Miss Heywood, would you mind showing me into one of the houses?" the Prince Regent called from a distance away. 

“Allow me,” Tom said rushing over. Sidney sighed angrily next to me and gave me a look of irritation.

“It’s alright,” I said trying to calm him. 

“I’d appreciate if Miss Heywood finished her tour with us,” the Prince Regent said. “I’m quite intrigued to hear more of your endeavors as a woman architect.”

I laughed. “I’m not an architect.” Tom stood aside with his mouth hanging open while I joined the Prince Regent and Lady Susan. “I only took Tom’s ideas and finished them. Mr. Stringer here is a wonderful architect. He and I have worked closely to create what you see before you. Even Mr. Robinson has been a tremendous help with not only rallying all the men and keeping them on task, but also coming up with ideas along the way. Mr. Sidney Parker gathered plenty of men all over the town to help us. Even my sister Alison has contributed her time to completing the buildings.”

“You and your sister worked among men to build these houses?” he asked skeptically.

“We did. We came from a hard-working family back in Willingden. Hard work doesn’t scare us.”

“I do believe I remember telling you Charlotte was one of a kind,” Lady Susan reminded.

“One of a kind as in a beauty or well accomplished, yes. But a woman architect is unheard of. I’m quite impressed,” he said. 

“Thank you, your regency. I’m not an architect, though. I merely love Sanditon and wanted to finish what was started.”

“You’ve done a fine job at that,” he declared. “I see some houses are already filled.”

“We’ve had an influx of visitors waiting your arrival.”

“I can see why Lady Worcester was so taken with the place as well as you,” he said. 

“Yes, Charlotte is a wonder,” Tom interjected. “Can I show you down to the beach and our bathing machines?”

“I imagine the bathing machines are quite the same in Brighton as they are here,” the Prince Regent said. “I have little interest in seeing the bathing machines. What I would like, is a walk through town with Charlotte while she tells me more about Sanditon.”

I bowed my consent while he offered his arm towards me. I hesitantly took his arm and followed him down the steps and onto the path through town. I pointed out every shop and talked about the people who worked in each shop or what type of services they provided. I spoke of Dr. Fuchs and his shower bath he demonstrated for us. I left out the part where Clara got burned. I didn’t think he’d want to know about that. At every turn, Tom tried to interject into the conversation, which I would have gladly let him do, but the Prince Regent was having none of it. We walked through the assembly rooms and told him of our plans to have a ball in his honor. I walked him down by the river and showed him the gazebo Sidney had built and let Sidney interject to explain we had actors and dancers coming to put on a show for him. I also explained how we have future plans to build a grander playhouse for shows when we had the financing to do so. He smiled a lot as I took him on a tour, which made me hopeful. He must be impressed.

“Well, Miss Heywood. You have given me a wonderful adventure today. I’m quite taken with Sanditon. I understand now why Lady Worcester has talked so highly of the place. She has talked rather highly of you as well and I clearly see why. You are definitely someone to keep an eye on for future endeavors. You surely will be the talk of the town if I have anything to say about it. Perhaps I’ll call on you for my next building project.”

“I’d be honored,” I said feeling very elated but rather nervous as well.

“Shall we return to Sanditon House for dinner?” Lady Susan suggested. She gave me a pleasing smile as if she was very proud of what I had done. 

“I’ll only be a moment,” I said as everyone began to leave the gazebo and walk back towards the carriages. Tom tried to speak of his plans to build a pagoda, but the Prince Regent ignored him and began to talk to Mr. Stringer about his architecture knowledge.

Sidney joined me in the gazebo with a huge grin on his face. “I do think you impressed our Prince Regent,” he said.

“I’ve never been so nervous in all my life. Was I talking too much?” I asked. 

He walked closer to me and took my hands in his. “No. You were extraordinary. Anyone can see he was taken with you with all you’ve accomplished and done here in Sanditon. It’s quite unheard of for a woman to have done all you did. You should be proud.”

“I feel horrible for Tom. This was his development. I only stepped in because he was gone. He should take the credit for all of what Sanditon is,” I fretted.

“Tom will be fine,” he assured. “Right now, he needs to learn some humility and learn to let someone else take some credit.”

“I should get back. I don’t want them waiting on me.”

“Of course,” he said releasing my hands and standing aside. I started to walk towards the steps leaving Sidney behind, but stopped and turned towards him before leaving the gazebo. “

"In the morning, Mr. Crowe is escorting Alison and I in his carriage to Willingden for our brother’s wedding.”

“Yes, he mentioned the arrangement,” he said. “I believe he has plans to speak to your father about a proposal.” he chuckled a little. “Crowe’s petrified to speak to him.” 

“Would you like to come with us?” I asked nervously. 

He grinned and looked to the floor for a moment. “Do you wish me to come?” he asked.

“Very much.” 

He took two steps and cupped my face in his hands colliding his lips with mine. I wanted to enjoy the kiss, but there were people not far away who would see us. 

I pulled away and pressed my hand against his chest. “Sidney! Someone will see.” I glanced around, hoping there was no one nearby.

“Let them,” he said chuckling. 

“I’m sure the Prince Regent would think differently of me if he saw me in a compromising position like this.”

“Oh, I doubt it,” he teased brushing his thumbs against my cheeks. 

I looked around once again making sure no one was close. “I must get back,” I insisted. I leaned up and gave him one more quick kiss before running down the steps and through the grass to catch up to the group. 

“I’ll see you in the morning, then,” he called out. I waved back at him and rushed off to catch up with the group.

He hadn’t kissed me since our night of declarations. This was something new and highly improper to do out in the open. I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with emotions with each kiss. I was even more elated that he wished to come with me to meet my family.

~~Sidney~~

While we knew Charlotte and Alison were preparing for the arrival of the Prince Regent and Lady Worcester, Crowe and I spent the morning discussing what it must be like for them. I imagined they were both nervous beyond measure. I assumed Lady Denham didn’t make their nerves any easier. We knew we were supposed to stay away and give them space so as not to overwhelm the Prince Regent, but by mid afternoon, I couldn’t handle staying away any longer. I needed to see if Charlotte was doing alright. I headed towards Sanditon House but saw the carriage heading into town, so I followed. I watched from a distance how Charlotte tried to explain what they had done at the Terrace. Mr. Stringer and Mr. Robinson didn’t seem to be handling his presence very well. I could only imagine how unnerving they must have felt. 

I didn’t plan to interject or say anything, but I couldn’t help myself when I saw it needed to be known what all Charlotte had done. Of course, she tried to play it off as it was nothing, but it was. She saved Sanditon, thanks to her friendship with Lady Worcester the town was now filled with newcomers, she saved Georgiana, she saved my brother from ruination, she saved me from a lifetime of misery. It had to be known how special she was. Thankfully it didn’t go unnoticed by the Prince Regent. 

I wasn’t expecting Tom to show up out of the blue either. My only thought was keeping him away from taking over where Charlotte should have the credit. Thankfully, the Prince Regent wasn’t blind to this fact and allowed Charlotte to give him the tour and ignored my brother. He deserved everything he got. 

By the end of the tour, I was beyond proud of Charlotte and all she had proven to the Prince Regent. I wanted everyone to know just how special she was. My love for her overtook all my self-control and I took my chances by kissing her in the gazebo where just about anyone could walk up upon us. I didn’t care, though. I would gladly let the entire country know she had chosen me if given the opportunity. We only had a small moment together before she was whisked away by Lady Worcester and the Prince Regent. In that moment, she asked me to join her for her brother’s wedding. In her own subtle way, I believed it was her way of letting me know she wanted her family to know who I was and perhaps have a conversation with her father. Given that she was of age, she didn’t necessarily need her father’s permission, but I knew she thought highly of her parents and would prefer their consent. I suddenly had those same nervous feelings I’d watched Crowe try to deal with all week. I prayed their father was an agreeable man.

Once Charlotte was gone, I realized I had much to deal with as far as Tom was concerned. 

“I would say that went well,” Tom said proudly as I walked up beside him. 

I glanced towards him and shook my head in disgust. “I think it’s time for you to take a step away from any business here in Sanditon. Perhaps focus on your family a little more.”

“Whatever do you mean?” he said. “This is where the real work begins, brother. There’s much to be done.”

“This is where you stop. This is where you realize you have done enough and it’s time to focus on something else,” I said. “You have been gone for weeks. You have left your family in my care, left your debt in my hands, and left the rebuild of Sanditon in my hands. Be thankful you still have your family if nothing else.”

“Sidney, I’m not sure what you are talking about. What has happened?” he asked.

“For God sake, Tom! The Parker family is left with very little. We had a meeting and discussed what to do and came to an agreement. Lady Denham was not entirely agreeable as I came out on the short end of the stick, but it’s kept you out of debtor’s prison and kept your family out of the poor house. I will not fix anymore of your mistakes. Please focus on your family and keep the development and promotion of Sanditon in the hands of the people who are actually building it.”

He seemed hurt by my words and quite confused. I softened the best I could and placed my hand on his shoulder. “Your family misses you. Let’s go back to Trafalgar House where everyone will be overjoyed to see you.” I walked him back to Trafalgar House where Mary and his children were surprised, but happy to see him. After spending the afternoon with his children, Mary and I pulled him aside and explained everything that happened and everything we had suffered at his doing. He did show some remorse. I doubted it was enough, but at least it was a start. 

“If only you had married Mrs. Campion, none of this would have happened,” he said. 

I closed my eyes and sighed heavily, clenching my jaw tightly. “If only you hadn’t created this mess in the first place."

“But Sidney, think about what all we could do if you had your hands on Mrs. Campion’s fortune?” he said.

“Back to this argument again?” I said angrily. 

“She’s a good match. You’ve loved her for a decade. I don’t know why you refuse to marry her,” Tom complained. 

“We have had this argument again and again. I don’t love her like I once thought I did. I don’t believe I even knew what love was at that time. I do now and I’m not going lose it just to take care of you. I’ve done all I can. I’ve sacrificed all I’m willing to. I have taken on your burdens and am only asking you to understand why I can’t marry her. Money is not everything, Tom. I made myself a poor man with debts for your sake. You still have your family and your home and your reputation intact. All I have is the hope that I can fix all this and someday have the same. Please understand this and stop pestering me about marrying money.”

“Mary mentioned you have feelings for Charlotte. Is it true?” he asked.

“Very much so,” I answered, much calmer than I was. “How you never noticed is beyond me. It only proves further how oblivious you were to anything but your own desires. As soon as the debt to Lady Denham is paid, we will be married.”

“Charlotte has agreed?” he wondered. “And what of Mrs. Campion? Is she aware of your plans? Has she released you from the engagement?”

I groaned, taking a large gulp of the drink in my hand. “She won’t have a choice.”

“Perhaps I should resume my travels to India,” he suggested. “There’s bound to be someone there interested in Sanditon and willing to invest to help pay for the debt. I don’t want to leave it all on your shoulders.”

“It’s already done,” I spat. “Please, Tom. Just focus on taking care of your family. They need you. I’ll take care of your debts, but I won’t continue to take care of your family in your absence. You need to step up as a father and a husband.”

“Yes. Yes, perhaps you’re right,” he agreed, contemplating what I was saying. I hoped he took to heart what I said and followed through. His family needed him.

When I left Trafalgar House, I went to check in on Georgiana. The week had been so busy, I hadn’t seen her or heard anything from Mrs. Griffiths. There didn’t seem to be a day that went by I didn’t get some sort of notice from Mrs. Griffiths about Georgiana’s behavior. 

I was ushered up to Georgiana’s room by Mrs. Griffiths and walked in on Georgiana lying on her bed looking upset. 

“Is something the matter?” I asked, taking a seat at her bedside. 

“You said I could write to Otis while he was gone, but all my letters come back undeliverable. Why is he rejecting me?”

“Perhaps they truly are undeliverable. It’s not his doing,” I offered.

“Or perhaps you are preventing them from being delivered so it’ll look like it’s his fault rather than yours,” she accused.

“Why on earth would I do such a thing? I have no power over the post,” I said.

“But you’ve deceived me in every other way. Why wouldn’t you have some way of deceiving me now.”

“Georgiana, I assure you, I have nothing to do with your letters being undeliverable. I can do what I can to find out why and see if I can find a proper address. I am trying to make amends here. I know you blame me for everything bad that’s happened in your life, but I haven’t been the cause of all your heartache.”

“Are Charlotte and Alison going to come see me?” she asked. “It’s been days since either of them have come. I feel entirely abandoned.”

“I can ask them to come visit you,” I offered. “They’ve been rather busy with preparing for the Prince Regent visit.”

“They’ve been busy falling in love and forgetting about me. All of you have. Everyone around me is happy and has someone while I’m left alone. 

"That's not true. Once the Prince Regent leaves everything will go back to normal."

“I assume you wish me to be sociable for the Prince Regent’s visit,” she whined.

“Only if you want to. If you’d rather sit in your room and sulk all day, I am not opposed.”

"I just wish to be left alone. I don’t want to burden anyone,” she cried. 

I nodded my head with a sigh and stood to leave the room. Before leaving, I stopped in the doorway to tell her something I had yet to say. “Do you want to know why I didn’t go through with marrying Mrs. Campion?”

“It’s not hard to figure out. You love Charlotte,” she said condescendingly.

“Yes, I do. But she isn’t the only reason I didn’t marry Mrs. Campion. I didn’t go through with it because of you. I wasn’t going to connect myself to a woman who thought so little of someone I consider family.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter I have been dreaming of writing since I started this story. It's a pivotal moment for Sidney, Charlotte, Crowe, and Alison. Hopefully I can do it justice.


	27. Willingden Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been my absolute favorite chapter to write. I hope all of you agree. 
> 
> I've done an exorbitant amount of research on regency balls, dances, weddings, etiquette, and clothing for weeks preparing for this chapter. 
> 
> Vocabulary lesson for anyone who doesn't know what some of these terms are. Some were new to me.
> 
> Pelisse: Long coat. Think the pink coat Charlotte wears in episode 5.
> 
> Quadrilles: A dance with 4 couples standing in a square formation. There are lots of youtube videos. I sat through a bunch of videos with different dance styles trying to decide which dance I wanted to use. This one seemed fun and a little more lighthearted which is what I was looking for.
> 
> Banns: When a couple got engaged the reading of the banns had to happen three consecutive weeks in the hometown churches of the bride and groom. It’s basically an announcement of the engagement and a chance for anyone to come forward who may object to the match. That whole, “If anyone knows any reason these two should not be joined in marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace."
> 
> Courtship Etiquette: When a girl, or man for that matter, is under the age of 21 they must have parental consent to marry. After 21 they didn't necessarily need parental consent but it was still very much a business arrangement between families. Once a proposal was accepted and consent was given, the courtship would begin. Couples were to be chaperoned, however it wasn't uncommon for them to find ways to be alone (Charlotte and Sidney do this a lot). During courtship, private conversations would take place under careful watch, small touches would happen, gifts or tokens would be given. It was a time for couples to get to know each other on a more personal level. It's been established that Charlotte is 22 so she doesn't necessarily need her father's permission to marry, but she would prefer to have his blessing. Alison I picture as about 19 or 20 so she would need her father's permission to marry. 
> 
> Weddings: Are very similar to what happens in today's weddings. Weddings always took place in the morning before noon. After the formalities at the church a party would take place with a wedding breakfast. The couple would walk or ride in a carriage from the church to their new home or a family home while wedding guests followed and made noise or threw seeds at them. Once at the party, it was very much a huge celebration whether it was an elaborate affair or country affair.

~~Sidney~~

Well before the sun was up, Crowe and I stood outside of Sanditon House dressed in our best, waiting for Charlotte and Alison so we could make the long trip to Willingden. The cold air was biting at our cheeks while we waited. Crowe bounced up and down to try and get warm. 

“How long is this going to take?” Crowe complained. 

“As long as necessary,” I answered.

To our surprise, Lady Worcester emerged from the house wrapped in a long shawl around her shoulders. “I presume you both plan to have conversations with Mr. Heywood today?” she asked. 

“I believe we do,” I answered.

She smiled politely. “I wish you both luck then and will be praying for a favorable answer.”

“Thank you,” we both said in unison. 

Moments later, Charlotte and Alison emerged from the house. They both had long pelisses on with proper hats on their heads and gloved hands. 

Lady Worcester hugged them both, wishing them safe travels before we helped them into the carriage and headed out into the early morning hours. We had a long ride ahead of us. Thankfully, both girls sat on opposite sides from each other, so I was able to sit next to Charlotte rather than Crowe. I was sure they planned it that way. 

The first couple of hours were rather quiet as all of us were still drowsy and wishing for just a little more sleep. Halfway through the trip, Alison fell asleep against Crowe’s shoulder and shortly after he also fell asleep leaned up against her with his mouth hanging open. How I wished Charlotte would do the same, but she was far too engrossed with the surroundings outside of the carriage to sleep. She watched the sunrise and pointed out a group of deer running across a field and a flock of birds flying through the clouds. I indulged her every whim.

After what seemed like hours in the carriage, we started to get close as Charlotte started pointing out familiar landmarks. Alison and Crowe had now awoken and were looking out the window to see where we were.

Crowe’s breathing was heavier, and his face was pale like he was about to be sick. “Do we need to stop for a moment?” I asked. I definitely didn’t want him puking all over us before we got there. 

“I’ll be fine,” he assured. “Just a bit nervous.” Alison tucked her arm around his and leaned into him to reassure he would be fine. That little bit of connection seemed to calm him tremendously. He smiled at her affectionately and placed his hand on hers. “What do you suppose your family will think of both of you showing up with us?”

“I’m sure it will be quite the shock,” Alison said. “To be honest, I never got around to write them and inform them we were coming after all. The last letter I got from mother, she understood why we couldn’t make it, but I could tell from the way she wrote her words, she wasn’t happy. I think they will be more excited to see us at all and not notice who we arrive with.”

“They will notice,” Charlotte added with a giggle. “Papa will surely question your purpose for coming.”

“I’m sure it won’t be hard to figure out,” Crowe added. 

“Is he an agreeable man?” I wondered.

“I suppose so,” Charlotte said. “Although, neither of us have ever brought a man home to meet him. I’m not entirely sure how he will react. Hopefully he left his gun at home.”

“Funny,” I said as she giggled at her joke. I glanced over at Crowe who looked even worse now. 

“Are you as nervous as Mr. Crowe is?” Charlotte asked of me.

“No,” I said, taking her hand in mine and squeezing it. She looked away almost like she was disappointed. I leaned into her ear to whisper the truth only she could hear. “I’m terrified.” 

She turned around and smiled up at me. “What’s so terrifying?” 

“He may say no. What if he doesn’t want you waiting for me to return? What if he doesn’t want you marrying someone with large debts? I’m terrified of losing you again,” I admitted.

“I suppose it’s a good thing I’m of age and can make my own decisions. Even if he says no, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Do you truly think he’s going to say no?” Crowe asked nervously breaking into our private conversation. He sighed and sunk down in the seat. “I need a drink.”

“No, you don’t,” Alison chided. “You need to trust me. Father will love you because you love me.”

“He grinned at her and brushed a wayward strand of hair back into her hat. “If that’s all it takes, I suppose I have nothing to worry about.”

“Quite right!” Alison said with a smile.

I smirked while listening to them but decided to focus on something else. I brought Charlotte’s hand to my lips, letting my kiss linger against the back of her gloved hand. “What is the plan for tomorrow with the Prince Regent and Lady Worcester?”

“Lady Worcester wants to shop in town in the morning. In the early afternoon, the actors are arriving, correct?” I nodded in agreement. “After the show, everyone will dress for the ball. I imagine the assembly rooms will be rather crowded. I’m hoping it’s not overwhelming for the Prince Regent.”

“We may need to discuss adding on to the building if we continue to have more residents,” I suggested. 

“Mr. Robinson and Mr. Stringer have talked about doing the same,” she said. “I think it would be a good idea if we can find the funding.” 

I nodded my head in agreement. “Perhaps the Prince Regent will wish to invest.”

“Wouldn’t that be the most amazing opportunity for Sanditon?” she said excitedly. “I think we impressed him yesterday. At dinner last night, he talked with Lady Denham for hours about how captivated he is with Sanditon.”

“I think he’s more captivated with you,” I teased. “Everyone is captivated by you.”

“You aren’t jealous, are you?” she teased.

I chuckled and shook my head a couple times. “No. I’ve decided jealously is something I need to work on. I need to trust your feelings for me.”

“Yes, you do,” she agreed with a smile. 

Alison suddenly got very excited as we pulled into the yard of their childhood church. “Charlotte!” she squealed. “It’s everyone.”

Crowe and I gave each other a look, and both took a deep breath letting it out in a quick burst. This was it. We were walking into a firing squad where we would either be shot down instantly or tormented until the very end. 

“We shouldn’t sit together during the ceremony,” Charlotte said. “We will be expected to sit with our family. Until agreements are made, it’ll be improper for us to sit together.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “Crowe and I will take a seat in the back so as not to cause a scene.”

The carriage stopped and the footman came around to open the door for us. Crowe and I stepped out first and looked around at the crowd of people who were all staring with curious expressions. I noticed Charlotte’s parents standing by the doors of the church surrounded by children who were young and in early adolescents. I wished I knew more about Charlotte’s parents, so I knew how to impress them and earn their favor. I imagined many of the children running in the yard were some of Charlotte’s siblings, but I didn’t know much about them either. 

I offered my hand for Charlotte to step out of the carriage followed by Crowe who did the same for Alison. I held Charlotte’s hand a moment longer than needed for encouragement for both of us. We both knew that was bound to be the last physical contact we would have with each other until after we left. 

“Charlotte! Alison!” a child screamed and ran towards them, followed by many other children. Hugs were exchanged between excited siblings seeing their older sisters. Crowe and I stood out of the way, knowing our presence was being questioned by all who were around. 

“Those must be their parents,” Crowe said, noticing the couple with linked arms walked towards them. I could see the way they glanced at both Crowe and I multiple times. 

“You would be right,” I agreed turning my head to the side. “I recognize them from the time I came here looking for Georgiana. We are being sized up already.”

“They must know why we are here,” Crowe said sounding dreadful. “Good God, I need a drink.”

I chuckled. “You and me both.”

“Charlotte, Alison, we weren’t expecting you,” their mother said. 

“We decided to surprise you,” Alison said giving both her parents a hug. “We were able to find out a way to come after all thanks to Mr. Crowe and Mr. Parker.” She motioned towards us with a dip of her head and a glance in our direction. “The Prince Regent and Lady Worcester are being entertained by Lord and Lady Babington today as well Lady Denham, I’m sure.”

“Lords, Ladies, Prince Regent… What type of company do my girls keep in this Sanditon place?” their father asked.

“It’s far different than Willingden, Papa,” Charlotte said giving him a hug as well. “You would be quite proud of all we have accomplished in Sanditon.”

“Yes, your letter mentioned how you were working on rebuilding the houses,” he said.

“It’s far more than that. She oversaw the entire project,” I interjected talking proudly of Charlotte. I realized after I said it, I more than likely shouldn’t have. 

Her father looked me up and down as if he was already angry. “Mr. Sidney Parker, is it not?”

“Yes, Mr. Heywood, it is,” I said shaking his hand.

“And who might you be?” he asked, looking at Crowe. 

Crowe cleared his throat and stepped forward offering his hand to shake. “Mr. Matthew Crowe.”

“I see.”

“Papa, Mr. Crowe and Mr. Parker offered to escort us here in the carriage so we could be here for George’s wedding,” Alison explained. 

“My girls alone in a carriage with two men?” their mother asked with disbelief. 

“It’s a long trip, mother. Anything could happen. Don’t you think it was sensible for us to travel with a man’s protection?” Charlotte asked.

“I suppose I can overlook it since it was merely for protection purposes,” she agreed with a knowing grin, giving both Charlotte and Alison another hug before walking them towards the church and asking all about their adventures. Small children followed close behind. They were greeted at the doors by many more smiling faces of who I assumed were close friends and family.

“Well, gentlemen. Do you care to join us for our son’s wedding?” Mr. Heywood asked us.

“Of course,” I accepted, answering for the both of us and following him into the church. Crowe and I sat down in a back pew, feeling a little more at ease with the whole situation. Mr. Heywood joined his family in the front pews where Charlotte and Alison now sat.

“I suppose we can say that was a welcome greeting,” Crowe theorized. “At least we weren’t asked to leave.”

“I don’t necessarily like that Mr. Heywood remembered who I was. The last time I was here, I barged into their home looking for Georgiana and was chastised by Charlotte in front of them.”

“She does a lot of chastising you, doesn’t she? Perhaps, Mr. Parker gets off on a girl putting him in his place,” he teased.

I chuckled. “And perhaps Mr. Crowe gets off on a girl who makes him change his ways.”

“Oh, you are entirely correct,” he agreed. “She has changed me in more than one way and I definitely like who I am when I’m with her. But she won’t change my ways in bed, I can assure you of that.”

“Does she know this?” I asked, knowing full well Crowe was an animal with women. 

He grinned giving me the side eye. “She will.”

I smirked and shook my head thinking about how someone should probably warn Alison of his animalistic ways. She should be prepared. 

“She’s a tough woman. She can handle me,” he said. 

“Let’s hope so,” I said. 

His comment got me thinking about Charlotte and what she would want or enjoy in bed. I imagined she would want to go slow at first but would be more forthcoming with time. I smiled at the thought and couldn’t wait for it to be true. 

The room became quiet and everyone stood for the bride’s entrance. Crowe and I stood and placed our hands behind our backs and watched the ceremony silently. It was a traditional ceremony, nothing special or different than any other wedding. I didn’t pay much attention, instead keeping my focus on Charlotte in the front pew. From time to time she would smile at Alison or quiet a sibling who was getting antsy in their seat. It got me thinking about the wedding I almost had to go through with Eliza, who didn’t want children present at all. Charlotte would want all of her siblings at our wedding. She’d want my nieces and nephews there. Practically the whole church would be filled with children. What a sight that would be. A sight I looked forward to and prayed would come sooner rather than later. 

Once the wedding was over, we followed the crowd outside where seeds were thrown at the emerging couple. Celebration filled the air while everyone congratulated the new couple and offered well wishes. The crowd followed the couple up the road to the Heywood farm where food and drinks filled tables and family and friends mingled and enjoyed the day together. 

Crowe and I stood off to the side with a drink in hand, not necessarily feeling like we belonged. Charlotte seemed to know everyone and was happy to greet them and have friendly conversation. I watched her move around the yard talking to people and spending time with her siblings, picking some of the younger ones up and holding them on her hip. I smiled at every reaction she had with them. It was clear she would make the most wonderful mother, which was something I truly wanted. We were compatible in so many ways, but our hope of a family was an important compatibility. 

“At least I’ll get one drink,” Crowe said. “I promised Alison I’d only have one.”

“She truly does have you wrapped around her finger,” I laughed.

“She makes me a better man,” he said shrugging his shoulders like it was the most normal thing in the world. “Besides, Alison wants children. I refuse to be anything like my own father was. I want to be the father I never had. If it means no more drinking, then so be it.”

“I suppose I know just how that might be,” I settled. He sipped at his drink with a knowing grin on his face. 

My eyes connected with Charlotte’s from across the yard causing me to smile. A few moments later, she collected Alison and both of them walked towards us. I wished I could reach out and take her hands in mine and even pull her closer to me, but I knew I couldn’t. Instead, they both stood a distance away while we talked.

“Are you enjoying yourselves?” Charlotte asked.

“As much as can be possible when we feel as if everyone is questioning our presence. Would I be wrong in thinking your family must know why we are here?” Crowe asked.

“I’m sure they suspect, but nothing has been spoken yet,” Alison answered. 

“Should we go to your father and ask to speak to him?” Crowe wondered.

“Give it some time. He will want to be a good host to the guests first. I’m sure after a while guests will start to dwindle,” Charlotte suggested. 

A few townspeople started playing music and a couple people took to preparing for a dance. 

“In the meantime, shall we dance?” I asked, drinking off the rest of my drink and offering my arm to Charlotte. She smiled and took my arm as I escorted her over to where the rest of the dancers were. Crowe followed suit and escorted Alison behind us. The quadrilles dance began, so Charlotte and I stood opposite Alison and Crowe while the other two couples took the other sides to create a square shape. 

Bows and curtsies were made from one couple to the next before the upbeat music began. We danced around Alison and Crowe and did spins in the middle of the couples, then switched partners, so I danced with Alison for a bit while Crowe danced with Charlotte, then went back to our partners. It was a long dance, but enjoyable since the four of us made it fun and laughed through the steps and mishaps. The other two couples didn’t seem to appreciate our banter, but we didn’t seem to care. We were having fun and it was a welcome release of built up tension. 

After the dance, we walked away still laughing and feeling lighter. 

“I wish all dancing was that fun,” Charlotte said. “Mr. Crowe, I don’t believe we’ve ever danced before, but I must say you were an excellent dance partner.”

“I thank you for that compliment,” he said bowing his head. “You are quite a nice dancer yourself. Perhaps we will have to dance again tomorrow night at the Sanditon Ball.”

“Perhaps we should,” she agreed.

“I do believe you told me once you didn’t plan to attend anymore balls since they always end badly. Have you since changed your mind?” I asked of Charlotte.

“I’m sure you can imagine the tongue lashing I’d get from Lady Denham if I decided not to attend,” Charlotte explained. “I’m not entirely looking forward to it, but I must go. It’s for Sanditon, after all. I pray this ball ends differently.”

“I will do everything in my power to make sure of that,” I promised. “And I insist on the first dance of the night.”

She smiled up at me with those adoring eyes. “Who else would I dance first with?”

“Perhaps the Prince Regent will sweep you off your feet,” I teased.

Alison and Crowe laughed. “He doesn’t seem like the type of man who would prefer dancing,” Alison said.

“I haven’t met the man, but I imagine he will be bored out of his mind at this ball,” Crowe added. “Everyone practically throwing themselves at his feet trying to gain his favor. It’ll be quite the spectacle.”

“I suppose since Alison and I have already met him, we won’t have to worry about throwing ourselves at him and can focus on dancing with both of you instead,” Charlotte offered.

“I think I prefer that idea,” I added with a chuckle.

“Charlotte, Alison, may I steal you away for a moment?” their mother interjected. Crowe and I watched as their mother steered them away and seemed to be having a serious talk with them. 

“Do you suppose everything is alright?” Crowe asked while we watched from a distance.

We were so focused on what was happening that we didn’t notice Mr. Heywood coming up behind us. “Well, I can’t imagine two gentlemen like yourselves escorting my daughters to Willingden while the Prince Regent visits Sanditon, unless they had ulterior motives for doing so,” Mr. Heywood said. “Shall we take a walk and get to know each other better?”

“Yes sir,” I said walking in step with him with Crowe to his other side. 

“After watching both of you with my daughters today, I’m assuming there have been exchanges of promises.”

“Yes sir, there have,” Crowe answered.

“I’d like to know more if you don’t mind,” he said, offering us both a moment to speak. 

Crowe went first. “Sir, I wish to marry Alison. I’ve only known her a short time, but I know it’s right. She makes me happy in every way possible. I’m a better man because of her. My intentions are pure and true. I can offer her a comfortable life. I don’t wish to ask you for anything in return. I only wish for your permission.”

“I see,” he said. “And what about you? Are you asking for the same?” 

My heart was racing, and my throat was dry. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get a word out. “I imagine I do, sir. My situation may be a little different as Charlotte and I will need to wait to wed for a couple years. Charlotte is aware of the reasons and has agreed.”

“What sort of reasons?” he wondered.

“I’d prefer not to divulge in the reasons at this time, but it’s not hidden from Charlotte. She’s fully aware of my situation.”

“If you wish not to divulge the information I request, I fear I must say no,” he replied. I glanced at Crowe who looked as white as a sheet. I was sure I probably looked the same.

“I imagine Charlotte wishes to have her father’s blessing. However, she’s a headstrong woman who chooses her own path. We will wed with or without your permission,” I said boldly.

“You clearly know my Charlotte well,” he said with a smile. “How am I to know you aren’t going to hurt her again?” I looked at him with disbelief, my air catching in my lungs. Had Charlotte told him what happened with Mrs. Campion? She never told me she had. “I’m sure you’re wondering how I might know you were the one to hurt her. When she returned home, I knew something happened. The only explanation was matters of the heart. I tried to get her to tell me for weeks, but she never let on what happened. I figured it out when you came barging into our home and the way you looked at her and the way she looked at you. There was hurt in her eyes, but also so much love. I had hoped she would move on, but it doesn’t look as if she did.”

“Neither of us were able to move on,” I said. “It took some time, but we found our way back to each other. I have absolutely no intention of losing her again.”

“And what of your engagement to Mrs. Eliza Campion?” he asked. “It was all over the papers for weeks. Then there was a notice stating the wedding had been postponed. Should I assume the engagement was ended honorably?” 

I huffed and closed my eyes for a moment. I had underestimated Mr. Heywood. He knew far more than I anticipated. “Not exactly,” I said truthfully. “Like I said, our engagement will be longer than Mr. Crowe and Alison’s.”

“Are you hoping Mrs. Campion will find someone else?” he asked.

“Yes, sir. I am. She has done it before, she will do it again.”

“And my Charlotte is alright with this arrangement?” he questioned.

“She is.”

“Sounds as if arrangements have already been decided. I’m of no use to you, Mr. Parker,” he said sounding angry. “As for Alison, she can marry after Charlotte does.”

“But sir…” Crowe complained. “That’s not fair to her nor to me. We wish to marry as soon as possible.”

“It’s not fair to Charlotte to be in waiting while her younger sister weds first. I can’t imagine their relationship would be the same if I were to allow it. My decision stands,” he said firmly before walking away. 

Crowe and I stood glued to the ground trying to come to terms with what just happened. Neither of us came out with favorable answers. Now I had a new burden of Crowe and Alison being able to wed hanging over me. I dropped my head and sighed heavily. 

“Forgive me, Crowe. I thought that would go differently,” I apologized. 

“I don’t know if I can wait two years,” he complained. “Especially when there’s no guarantee two years will be enough.”

“I’ll try to talk to him again,” I offered. “Please don’t say anything to Charlotte or Alison yet.”

I bolted towards Mr. Heywood calling after him to wait for me. When I finally caught up to him, I breathlessly asked him to hear me out. “I understand what you must be thinking of me.”

“Do you?” he questioned still looking at me with an angry expression.

“I’m sure I look like the worst scoundrel in all of England to you. I hurt Charlotte by engaging myself to someone else when I made it clear I had intensions of asking her first. I know how that must look, but please allow me to explain. I’ll tell you everything.”

“Alright,” he agreed skeptically. “Make me understand.”

“First, I want to say I never took advantage of Charlotte’s goodness. She is a pure and admirable woman. She’s my perfect match in every way possible. She has changed me into my best and truest self.” He stared at me unchanged while I spoke. I took a deep breath to prepare for the story. “The night I had planned to ask Charlotte to marry me, we were interrupted by a fire in Sanditon. Once the fire was out and all the devastation it caused was realized, I had no choice but to engage myself to Mrs. Campion. We had a history. I thought I was in love with her for many years. We were once engaged but she broke off the engagement to marry an older, richer man. She did it purely for money and status. That incident broke me. I became guarded and closed off to almost everyone. Until Charlotte came into my life, I had done a good job of hiding for ten years. She broke through everything I was holding back and saw my truest self. Unfortunately, after the fire I found out my brother Tom didn’t have insurance on the buildings and was now in debt for eighty thousand pounds. He has a wife and four young children and was facing debtor’s prison. I couldn’t let that happen. I engaged myself to Mrs. Campion purely for money to save my brother. I didn’t love her anymore. She made me put all those walls back up that Charlotte had knocked down. If there was another way, I would have done it.”

“What has changed now that marrying Charlotte seems possible? Are you hoping Mrs. Campion will die shortly after you marry her?”

“No,” I said horrified. “I don’t plan to marry her. I decided I had to find another way. I took everything I had and gave it to Lady Denham to pay off the debt my brother owes. It wasn’t eighty thousand pounds by any means, but she accepted it with conditions. She loves Charlotte like a daughter. Most everyone loves Charlotte. Lady Denham won’t let me marry her until the debt is paid in full. She doesn’t wish for Charlotte to be married to a poor man.”

“You gave up everything you own for Charlotte?” he questioned.

“Yes sir, I did. Unfortunately, I have nothing to offer your daughter. I don’t have a home, I don’t have money, and I don’t have any means to give her the life she deserves. This is precisely the reason our engagement needs to be longer. I have business connections in Antigua from many years ago. I have an opportunity to build my wealth up again, but it might take a few years. I’m hoping for only two, but there’s no guarantee of that. I hope when I return, I’ll be able to pay the rest of the debt and Charlotte and I will be able to wed then.”

“And what about your brother? Is he not helping to pay the debt?” he asked.

“My brother is not the greatest businessman. He has great ideas but doesn’t know how to see it through without mistakes. If there was a way for my brother to pay it, I’d gladly let him. It’s just not possible. At the moment, I’m supporting my entire family on next to nothing.”

“And what of your engagement to Mrs. Campion?” he questioned.

“She’s passed me over before, she will do it again. She’s after status now that she has the fortune she was after. She wanted me to better her social status. Without a fortune to my own name and being gone for a couple years, she will marry someone else, I’m sure of it,” I assured.

“And Charlotte knows all of this?” he asked.

“She knows everything. I tried to keep it from her at first, thinking I needed to fix it all before I returned to her. But I realized I was only hurting her more and came clean.” I laughed thinking on it. “I’m surprised she still wanted me after everything I’ve done to hurt her.”

He sighed. “I’m surprised as well, to be honest. But I imagine there must be a reason she still does.”

“I beg you not to punish Alison and Mr. Crowe because I’m unable to marry Charlotte yet. I don’t need yet another burden on my shoulders. I can’t be responsible for their unhappiness as well,” I begged.

“Don’t you believe Charlotte would feel slighted if her younger sister wed before her?” he asked.

“I don’t at all. Charlotte loves Alison and only wants her to be happy. She’d sacrifice everything for Alison’s happiness as she would for anyone she truly cares about.”

He nodded his head and pursed his lips while staring at me intently. “I suppose you both are much the same in that aspect. So willing to sacrifice for your family.”

“Family is important to both of us,” I said. 

“Yes, I see that,” he observed. “I will need some time to think on this. I do appreciate you being honest with me, Mr. Parker.”

I bowed. “I appreciate you giving me the time to explain. I hope you don’t think too badly of me.”

“On the contrary, Mr. Parker. I find what you did noble.”

He nodded and gave me a slight smile before excusing himself and walking back towards the party. I took a few steadying breaths feeling as if I just ran a marathon, before returning to the party as well. I found Alison and Crowe standing together talking with Mrs. Heywood, but I didn’t see Charlotte anywhere among the crowds of people. 

“Do you know where Charlotte is?” I asked Crowe and Alison.

“She was just here a moment ago,” Crowe said looking around and trying to look for her. Alison and even their mother looked around the crowd trying to find her.

“She’s probably at the bridge,” Alison whispered for only me to hear. 

I gave her a smile to thank her before excusing myself and walking around the crowds nonchalantly looking for her until I knew no one was watching me. I headed out down the road until I came upon the bridge Alison spoke of and saw Charlotte’s figure standing at the top and looking down at the water lost in thought. She had removed her pelisse and hat letting her hair blow free in the wind. She wore a simple white dress with a flower pattern, but to me she looked like the most beautiful woman alive.

I smiled as I came upon her unknowingly. “Penny for your thoughts, Miss Heywood?” I teased.

She turned around with a pleasant smile on her face. “The ubiquitous Mr. Parker. Seems I cannot escape you,” she baited playfully.

I laughed and came face to face with her. “I surely hope not. I don’t wish to ever be parted from you.” I reached for her hands and took them in mine, affectionately rubbing her knuckles with my thumbs. “Now, what’s so heavy on your mind?”

“You surely don’t wish to know my thoughts right now,” she said ducking her head and looking shy.

“On the contrary, I always wish to know your thoughts as your opinion is the only one that matters to me. I’m eager to know what has taken you so far away from the party.”

“I’ve just been thinking about my childhood and how many memories I have of this place. During the dryer months when the water isn’t as high, I can climb down the embankment here and sit under the bridge on a rock. I would sit down there for hours reading and be completely hidden from the outside world. I’d be lost in a book and my own naivety not having a care in the world. Now it seems everything has changed. This place doesn’t hold the same connection as it once did. I’m not that naïve girl anymore who only dreamed of romance. Somehow love found me when I wasn’t looking.” Her eyes met mine with so much passion and need, I was almost tempted to take my chances with a kiss. My luck, her father would walk upon us and spoil the moment. He would rightly never let me marry her if he caught us kissing. Being alone right now was taking a huge chance.

“It seems love has found me as well, when I wasn’t looking,” I agreed.

“What did my father say?” she wondered.

“He doesn’t seem to like me much. I’m afraid he will turn me down,” I admitted.

Her head dropped and a sadness filled her face. “No matter,” she decided. “Just another obstacle we have to overcome.” 

“Charlotte,” I began, whispering her name. I sighed and dropped my head. 

“What is it?” she asked nervously. 

I took a deep breath and dropped to one knee looking up at her. The realization that crossed her face made me smile. “Charlotte Heywood, I love you beyond measure. I don’t know if your father will give us his blessing or not. But I only wish to spend my life with you. I know I’m not perfect and I’m sure I’ll make plenty of mistakes along the way. Yet I know you’ll put me in my place and help me to be a better man. I know it’s not ideal to have to wait, but I’m asking you to marry me with the promise that no matter how long it takes, I will return to you and make you my wife. Together we will overcome all obstacles in our path. Marry me, Charlotte.”

Tears filled her eyes. She shakily let out the breath she was holding and smiled. I grinned crookedly, feeling completely and utterly in love with her in that moment. 

“You know my answer is yes. It’s always yes. I love you and nothing is ever going to change my feelings for you. Yes, Sidney Parker, I will marry you.” I stood and lost all train of thought. I kissed her more passionately than I ever had before. Our lips moved together like they were perfectly made for one another. I breathed her in like my life depended on it. She was my oxygen, my lifeline, my reason for living. She was everything I never knew I needed. 

Her hands wrapped around my neck, pulling me down to her as I continued to deepen the kiss and take my chances by holding her close against me. 

As much as I wanted to be lost in the moment, I knew we could very easily be seen by just about anyone. I stopped with a deep sigh and leaned my forehead against hers. “I should get you back before we are discovered.”

“Yes. You’re right,” she agreed. Even though both of us knew we needed to go, neither of us made to move away from each other. I never wished to be parted from her again. Thoughts filled my mind of eloping. Was it even possible to marry her before I left for Antigua? Could we go together? Would she agree? As much as I wanted it to be possible, I knew it wouldn’t be what she wanted. I wanted her to have the wedding she always dreamed of. My time in Antigua was going to be short if I had anything to say about it. I would not stay gone longer than two years. Even if I didn’t have all the money for Lady Denham, I’d return and hope she’d take pity on me. Or perhaps take pity on Charlotte. 

She laughed thinking about something and pulled her forehead away from mine.

“What is it?” I asked curiously.

“I was thinking on how I received your wedding announcement to Mrs. Campion while I was under the bridge weeks ago and how upset I was reading it. Alison was with me and she took it, ripping it into little pieces and throwing it in the river to be washed away. Now you’ve gone and asked me to marry you in that same spot. Perhaps ripping it up was a sign of what was to come.” she giggled at the irony of it. 

“Mrs. Campion actually sent you a wedding announcement?” I asked, feeling shocked and enraged at Eliza’s audacity. “She is the most wicked person I’ve ever known. I’m so thankful I came to my senses. Alison did the right thing by ripping it up and throwing it in the river. A man can’t step in the same river twice. That river has already been swept away long ago. This new river is special, fresh, and perfect in every way.” I wrapped my arms around her tighter and held her close.

“My thoughts exactly,” she said with a grin. I took another chance and kissed her again, but just a quick kiss before I broke our connection and took her hand in mine to walk her back to the party. I was sure we were being missed. 

“Answer me something, Charlotte. When we are able to marry, where would you like to live? I know you felt very uncomfortable in London. Sanditon seems to hold a special place in your heart, but Willingden is where your family is.”

“I would like to stay in Sanditon," she blurted. "I think I decided weeks ago it’s my home. It’s where I feel like I belong. I have plenty of memories in Willingden and wish to visit often, but my home is in Sanditon, preferably with you by my side.”

“Sanditon it is, then.”

“Is it what you want?” she asked.

“I’m an outlier remember. I’ll be happy wherever you are.”

She squeezed my hand and leaned into me. 

“One of these days we’ll need to come back here so you can show me more of your secret spots and tell me all of your memories,” I requested.

“I would like that.”

“Perhaps during our next visit, you can take me hunting,” I suggested.

“Perhaps I might,” she agreed with a grin. 

As we got closer to the party, I released Charlotte’s hand and stepped away from her to put some space between us. She walked over to her mother and a few of her younger sisters, joining them in conversation. 

I walked over to Crowe. “Where have you been?” he asked sarcastically. 

“Just asking Charlotte to marry me,” I said with a grin.

“You haven’t asked her yet? I thought you already did days ago?”

“In a way, we declared we would marry. But I never asked her properly.”

“Did she say yes?” he asked.

“Of course, she did, Crowe,” I laughed.

He shook his head and sighed dramatically. “I just thought of something. We are about to become brothers. Perhaps we need to rethink this whole marriage thing,” he teased.

“You can rethink all you want,” I scoffed. “I’m not rethinking anything.”

“What about Mr. Heywood? Any change of heart? I can’t believe we have to wait until you and Charlotte are able to marry. I think I might sell off the Crowe estate to help pay off that debt a little quicker.”

“I would definitely appreciate that possibility,” I said.

“I don’t plan to ever live there, and Alison has agreed we shouldn’t live there either. It’s just sitting there going to waste. Someone might as well put it to use.”

“Tell me, Crowe. Have you talked to Alison about where she’d like to live?”

“I have. She said she’d be happy wherever I wish to live. I’ll probably purchase a modest home in London for us. What about you?”

“Charlotte wants to stay in Sanditon. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by that notion. She helped build it after all. Of course, she’d want to stay there. When I have the means to do so, I want to have a grand home looking over the ocean built for her.”

“Or perhaps, she can build it for the both of you,” he teased.

“Perhaps you’re right. She very well could build it. Or at least design it,” I agreed. "Have you considered staying in Sanditon?"

"I suppose it would make sense for Alison and Charlotte to remain close. Perhaps I'll start looking around Sanditon for the perfect home," he thought.

"I'm sure Charlotte would appreciate staying close to Alison; especially while I'm gone," I reminded. He nodded his head in agreement.

“We really should be going soon,” he reminded. “It’s getting late in the day and we still have a long trip ahead of us. How exactly should we go about pulling Alison and Charlotte away?”

“I’ll take care of it,” I offered. “Get the carriage ready and I’ll go talk to them.”

“Mr. Parker,” Charlotte’s mom greeted as I came upon them. “I’ve barely had a moment to speak to you. Have you enjoyed your time in Willingden?”

“I most certainly have. Thank you for your hospitality. We really should be going, though. We have a long trip back to Sanditon and there’s a certain Lady who is expecting Charlotte and Alison to go shopping with her in the morning.”

“I almost forgot,” Charlotte fretted. “Lady Susan will want to leave early. We really should be going so we can get some sleep before morning.”

“Already?” her mother whined. “It seems as if you just arrived. I feel like I’ve barely gotten to speak to you.”

“We will come back for a longer visit soon, right Mr. Parker?” Charlotte asked.

“Of course,” I agreed with a grin. It didn’t go unnoticed that she told her mother the next time we came to visit we would come together. I was sure her mother picked up on it as well as she grinned at Charlotte and then at me. 

She gave Charlotte a hug. “I’m looking forward to your next visit, then.”

“I’ll go get Alison so she can say goodbye,” Charlotte said. 

“Mr. Parker,” Mrs. Heywood began. “There’s a special bond between a mother and her firstborn child. Charlotte was my first. She made me a mother. I expect only the best for her.”

“As do I, Mrs. Heywood. She will have everything her heart desires, I assure you. I will take good care of her,” I promised.

She smiled. “I’m sure you will.”

Alison appeared giving her mom a hug goodbye. Charlotte was hugging all her siblings as Crowe came around with the carriage. He exited and walked over to join us. Crowe and I congratulated the newly married couple once again with hand shakes while Alison and Charlotte hugged both of them. Alison began to cry, having to say goodbye to her family so soon. She gave her father a hug who whispered something in her ear before she walked towards Crowe who offered his hand to help her in the carriage. Mr. Heywood stepped towards Crowe shaking his hand and in his own way accepting Crowe into the family. Crowe entered the carriage and sat down next to Alison.

I took a deep breath wondering if I would receive the same parting from Mr. Heywood. Charlotte came towards me and took my hand to help her in. I paused a moment waiting to see if Mr. Heywood would say something, but he didn’t. I nodded my head towards him and went to enter the carriage. 

“Mr. Parker,” Mr. Heywood called out. “A word.”

I stepped away from the carriage and followed him a few steps away. 

“I’ve had some time to think about what you told me. I find what you did for your family, for Charlotte, even what you are trying to do for Alison and Mr. Crowe today very honorable. I also admire your integrity by telling me the truth about your situation. I would be very proud to have Charlotte marry such an admirable man. Mrs. Heywood and I will continue to pray for both of you to find a way out of the debt so a marriage can happen sooner rather than later. In the meantime, you can let Mr. Crowe and my Alison know they will have my permission to marry as soon as they are ready. I will put in the request for the banns to be read at our church this weekend.”

I let out the breath I was holding in and reached out to shake his hand vigorously. “Thank you, sir.”

“Just make my Charlotte happy. Take care of her.”

“I will.”

I nodded my head thanking him once more before joining Charlotte on the bench in the carriage. 

“What was that about?” Charlotte asked as we began to pull away.

I smiled at her. “He’s given me permission to marry you.”

The grin on her face was radiant. I don’t think I’d ever seen her so happy.

“Did he say anything else?” Crowe asked eagerly.

“Yes,” I answered with a grin. “He said you and Alison are free to marry whenever you’re ready. He’s going to begin having the banns read this weekend at their church.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what everyone thinks of this chapter. Like I said, it's been my favorite to write, hence the reason it's fairly long. I get wordy when I'm having fun. I'm eager to know everyone's thoughts; good or bad.


	28. True Visionary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this chapter took so long. Without going into too much detail, I work in a group home for mentally disabled people and one of the residents was triggered by something and attacked me last weekend. I’m fine. I was only bruised and scratched. It was pretty scary, though. I had to take a few days just to recover and feel normal again before I could write. I think my inability to write for a while made me wordy. I had to break this chapter into 2 parts. I wasn't going to, but as I kept writing, it was going to end up being a 20,000+ word chapter. Even split the chapters are long. I don't think anyone will mind, right? I should be posting the next chapter on Sunday.
> 
> I want to thank everyone for all the comments on the last chapter. I've never received so many comments on a single chapter before. I'm super happy everyone enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. 
> 
> Like I said in the last chapter, I do an exorbitant amount of time doing research on balls and weddings, but I also spend a lot of time looking at ball gowns and jewelry. I’m considering posting the dresses and jewelry pictures I choose for inspiration on twitter. Does anyone want to see it or is better left to your own imagination? If you don't already follow me on twitter you can find me @graffiti4. I don’t post a lot, as I do still have 10 kids (they won’t go away). But I try to get on there at least once a day and do some #savesanditon hashtags.

~~Charlotte~~

After the initial excitement from being informed we were allowed to marry wore off, I became very tired. Sidney sat next to me, holding onto my hand and occasionally bringing it to his lips. I had removed the gloves from earlier so as not to have a barrier between us. The four of us talked for most of the trip and occasionally had side conversations as private as possible. Eventually, Alison and Mr. Crowe assumed their earlier position of sleeping against each other. I had done a good job staying awake on the way there. I didn’t want to waste a moment being close to Sidney by sleeping. Now it seemed impossible to keep my eyes open. Without even realizing I was doing it, I began to nod off, first dropping my head forward and then dropping it backwards. Eventually, Sidney reached over and gently eased my head onto his shoulder. 

“It’s alright to sleep,” he whispered. “I’m rather tired myself.”

“I don’t want to lose a moment being with you,” I said. “Very soon you’ll be gone for an indefinite amount of time. I want to take advantage of every moment I have with you.”

“You are with me. After we are married, you’ll be sleeping next to me every night. I’m eager for those days to come. This could be practice. Crowe and Alison don’t seem to have a problem with practicing,” he chuckled. 

I smiled and thought on how we would go to bed every night and wake up together every morning. If only it was possible sooner rather than later. I wanted to be connected to him for life. I didn’t want to wait any longer. We’d waited long enough. I leaned into him further and got comfortable all while he leaned over and kissed the top of my head and rested his own head against mine. I thought about what my mother had told us when she pulled us away during the party. She wanted to make sure we were still pure and there hadn't been any sharing of our bodies with a man, which we both assured her had never happened. For me, I was quickly reminded of the time I went sea-bathing in my shift and was later informed Sidney had been there. I didn't intentionally share my body with him, but he saw more of me than anyone else ever had. I'd also seen his body at that same cove and still dreamed of it often. Someday, we'd be able to share our bodies with each other openly. The thought thrilled me and wanted marriage to happen soon.

“Sidney,” I began quietly so as not to wake Alison or Mr. Crowe. “If it were possible, would you marry me sooner?”

“Of course,” he answered. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do if I could make that possible.”

“What if it was?” I asked.

“What did you have in mind?” he asked curiously. “Lady Denham won’t allow it.”

“If I talk to her, perhaps she will give in. And if she won’t, I’ll go back to Willingden or I can go to London with Lady Susan. Once free, we can take off for Scotland and marry there in secret. We can go to Antigua and rebuild Lady Denham’s fortune together.”

He breathed heavily as if pondering the idea. “Believe me, I’ve considered this notion. As much as I’d love to go forward with the plan, I don’t want you to be looked at as a ruined woman. Women who elope in Scotland are seen as women whose reputations are unfavorable. I don’t want that for you.”

“I don’t care what people think. I just want us to be together. I don’t want you leaving me behind again,” I whined.

“Do you want that for your younger sisters?” he asked. “They’d be looked down upon as well. I can’t do that to your family. I promised your mother and father I’d take care of you. How can I possibly keep that promise if I can’t marry you honorably?”

I huffed in protest. “There has to be a way.”

He kissed the top of my head again, letting his lips linger a moment. “If you think of something that doesn’t ruin your reputation or that of your family, let me know.” I got comfortable next to Sidney and was asleep within no time while he rested his head against mine, our hands clasped in his lap. 

After a while, the carriage stopped abruptly, causing all of us to wake in a start. The glow from the moonlight hitting Sanditon House shined through the window of the carriage. The dread of having to leave Sidney was overwhelming. Today was the most wonderful day I’d ever spent with him. We talked, we laughed, we touched and kissed, he proposed marriage, and he gained approval from my father. There could never be a day as glorious as today. As soon as Alison and I stepped out of the carriage we would be expected to be the prim and proper young women we were raised to be, not the carefree women in love we had been in the enclosed private space of the carriage. We all sat up in our seats, stretching and yawning trying to wake up and shake off the travel aches and pains. 

“Would it be presumptuous of me to ask for a moment of privacy for a goodnight kiss?” Mr. Crowe asked looking at Sidney before turning in his seat, so his back was facing us. 

Sidney smacked him on the shoulder with a chuckle. “Only if I get a moment of privacy as well.”

“You forget, you haven’t asked if you will be granted a goodnight kiss,” Alison teased. 

“We’re practically married. Do I always have to ask for permission?” Mr. Crowe wondered.

“Perhaps,” Alison teased. I loved listening to their banter. Alison was a good match for Mr. Crowe. She kept him in check, but he seemed lighter and more carefree when he was with her. He seemed happy as did she. I adored seeing my sister so in love. 

“While you two work that out, I’m going to take my moment of privacy,” Sidney said before leaning towards me. His hand gently pressed against my cheek and tilted my face to meet his lips for a searing and urgent kiss. There was no asking, no hesitation, no regret on either of our parts. I would never deny him a kiss in all my life. My lips were his and his mine. I would take what was mine whenever I felt I needed, as I hoped he would as well. We were joined for life even if not legally yet. 

When we pulled away, he rested his forehead against mine, his eyes still closed reveling in the last moment we would have together. “I wish you a pleasant evening,” he said barely over a whisper. 

“Goodnight,” I breathed against his lips taking one last kiss. Both of us took a deep breath before breaking apart. Sidney stepped out of the carriage and offered his hand to help me out. I hesitated, wishing he would get back in and we could have just one moment more. Once I knew that wasn’t possible, I took his hand and stepped out of the carriage. He smiled and placed his other hand on top of our joined hands for one last connection. Our eyes connected with such longing. 

“Can I ask a favor?” he asked.

“Anything,” I answered.

“Would you invite Georgiana on your shopping excursion? She’s been feeling down lately. I believe a shopping trip may be just what she needs to bring up her spirits.”

I smiled. “You mustn’t worry. I had already planned to invite her. I know I’ve neglected her lately and feel terrible for doing so. Now that most of the rebuild is done, I plan to spend much more time with her.”

He leaned closer. “This is why I know you are my perfect match.” We stood looking into each other's eyes, begging for another kiss, but knowing we couldn't. He released my hand and took a step away with a heavy sigh. His jaw clenched and he looked down at the ground with a frustrated look on his face.

I peeked back into the carriage and called for Alison, who was still kissing Mr. Crowe quite passionately. I had to say her name three times and tug on her arm before she was finally released from him. They said their goodbyes and Sidney helped Alison out of the carriage. Sidney and I shared one last glance before he got back in the carriage and left with Mr. Crowe. Alison and I linked arms and walked into the house. It was late in the evening, but Lady Denham and Lady Susan were still sitting up. We walked into the drawing room and were welcomed back kindly. 

“There’s some tea and food left out for both of you,” Lady Denham offered. “I’m sure you must be famished.”

“Quite,” I said. Alison and I walked over to the small table and filled a plate with light finger foods and poured ourselves some tea. 

“How was the wedding?” Lady Susan asked. 

“Very beautiful,” I answered. “Our brother George has been looking forward to marrying Jane for many years now.”

“It was a very pleasant trip. We enjoyed seeing our family for a short visit,” Alison added.

“I see Mr. Sidney Parker joined you on your excursion,” Lady Denham said. “Whose idea was it for him to attend?”

“Mine, Lady Denham,” I answered directly. “I asked him to come.” She didn’t look pleased. 

“I’m glad Mr. Parker came,” Alison said. “He helped Mr. Crowe feel more at ease given he had an important question to ask my father.”

“And what was the outcome of their conversation?” Lady Susan asked, looking quite amused. 

“He said yes!” Alison shouted with exhilaration. “Father is going to have the Banns read at our church starting this week.”

“Sounds to me you have a lot to plan,” Lady Susan said with a grin. 

“I hadn’t even thought of that,” Alison said looking fearful. “I was so caught up in the moment of father saying yes, I completely forgot about the planning.”

“Do not despair, we will have plenty of time to come up with something fit for a princess,” I assured, placing my hand on hers for comfort. 

“I fear I won’t sleep a wink until we say our vows,” Alison fretted. 

“Young girls are all the same once they find a husband. Wouldn’t you agree Lady Worcester?” Lady Denham asked.

“Rightly so, I would imagine,” she answered. “To be young and in love. It’s a wonderful thing to watch unfold.”

Lady Denham hummed in response while she sipped at her tea. I chose not to say anything about my own engagement to Sidney, as I was sure Lady Denham would not approve. I did not want to give her a reason to go back on her agreement with Sidney. I would confide in Lady Susan during our shopping trip in the morning if she hadn't already figured it out on her own. A part of me wondered if even Lady Denham knew, although she'd never let on about it. 

“I think I will head to bed,” I said. “It’s been a long and exhausting day. Goodnight.”

I got up and headed to my room. A single tear fell from my eye as I thought about how I wished so badly I could tell the world of my own engagement like Alison was able to. How I wished our love was easy. I was very happy for my sister and looked forward to helping her plan her wedding, but it didn’t stop the pain of wishing it was me in her shoes. I just had to continue to remind myself that it would be me in due time.

Shortly after I crawled under the sheets, Alison came into the room and prepared for bed also. 

“Charlotte are you awake?” she asked from the other side of the bed. I rolled over to face her. “Does it hurt you that I’m getting married before you?” 

“Of course not,” I answered. “I’m very excited for you.”

“Father tried to prevent Mr. Crowe and I from getting engaged until you married. Did you know that?” she asked.

“I didn’t. Did Mr. Crowe tell you?” I wondered.

She nodded her head. “He said father didn’t seem very fond of either of them at first and father said it was unfair to you if I married before you, so Mr. Crowe and I would have to wait. Mr. Parker had another conversation with him to change his mind.”

“Sidney did that for you and Mr. Crowe?” I asked, surprised it hadn't been brought up in the carriage.

“He did. Whatever he said, he must have changed father’s opinion of them.”

“Yes, he must have,” I said. I felt so much love for Sidney thinking on what he did for my sister and Mr. Crowe. He didn’t have to do what he did, but he did anyway. He didn't have to do half the things he'd done for my benefit, but he had anyway.

“I’m looking forward to helping you plan your wedding,” I said. “I was thinking on our way back today how you and Mr. Crowe are a perfect match. You’ve changed him for the better.”

“I’d like to say we’ve changed each other,” she said. 

“I think that’s what makes a great match,” I said with a smile, thinking on mine and Sidney’s relationship. We had both changed in ways to accommodate the other and be more for each other. I’d do anything for him, as I knew he would do the same for me.

We both dozed off rather quickly and didn’t wake again until late morning. We dressed for the day and joined Lady Denham and our guests in the dining hall for breakfast. There was much talk about the ball in the evening. 

“We should get going if we want to make it to the play this afternoon,” Lady Susan announced. 

“I’d like to stop in and see if Georgiana wants to join us, if you don’t mind?” I asked. 

“Of course. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Miss Lambe and have only received a few letters from her. I have much to discuss with her,” Lady Susan said, surprising me. I wasn't aware they were acquainted. 

Alison and I followed Lady Susan out to the carriage while Lady Denham took her own carriage into town with the Prince Regent joining her. Apparently, she wanted to show him more of the town I had neglected to share. 

“I wasn’t aware you and Georgiana knew each other,” I said, but meant more as a question. 

“Georgiana and I became acquainted in London a while back. We shared a common interest and had a goal in mind,” she responded.

“What sort of common interest? I wondered curiously.

“You, my dear,” she answered with a giggle. “Did you ever wonder how Georgiana got to Willingden?”

I stared at her with a puzzled look. “You had something to do with that?”

“Of course, I did. Once I discovered the truth about Mrs. Campion, I set my plan into action. Things couldn’t have ended up more to my liking, if I do say so myself,” she said with a knowing grin.

“All of this was planned?”

“Not everything. I sent Georgiana in my carriage for Willingden to convince you to come back to Sanditon. Apparently, Lady Denham beat her to that task. Despite how you got here, you did return. However, Georgiana missing did send Mr. Parker looking for her and landed him right where we wanted.”

“In Sanditon?” I asked.

She smiled and her eyes twinkled as she shook her head. “No, my dear. With you.”

I was still so confused by all of it. Georgiana and Lady Susan had conspired to help Sidney and I end up together? How did I even begin to thank them?

“I had thought it would take a lot more convincing to get Sidney in Sanditon,” Lady Susan continued. “I had placed the seed about Mrs. Campion and knew he’d go searching for Georgiana, but I assumed he would return to London still feeling like he had a duty to uphold. The fact that he remained in Sanditon, even after assuring Georgiana was safe, was all your doing.”

“I was so rude to him when I first discovered he was in Sanditon. I was rude to him on many occasions.”

“I guess that goes to show you just how much he loves you. He saw past all those moments and knew deep down you still had feelings for him,” she pointed out.

“I don’t even know what to say,” I said breathlessly. “Should I thank you?”

“There’s no reason to thank me. Your friendship and happiness are all the thanks I need.”

I glanced over at Alison who had a knowing look on her face as if she knew all along what was happening. I would have to ask her about it later when we were alone. I wondered who else was in on this ploy to get us back together; Mr. Crowe, Lord and Lady Babington, perhaps even Mary? Despite everything, I was ever so thankful for everything everyone had done. Now if we could get through the last few obstacles, Sidney and I could be together for always. 

I exited the carriage at Mrs. Griffiths and knocked on the door. Mrs. Griffiths let me in and spoke on how she hadn’t seen Alison or I in so long and wondered if we were still in town. 

“We’ve been quite busy lately. I’ve come to see if Georgiana would like to go shopping in town for the ball tonight with Alison and I as well as Lady Worcester?”

“Lady Worcester?” Mrs. Griffiths said nervously. “Is she outside?” 

“She is,” I answered. 

“I must make her acquaintance.” Mrs. Griffiths rushed for the door, leaving me alone in the front room. I laughed at her haste before making my way to Georgiana’s room. I knocked before entering and heard Georgiana tell me to come in. She was sat at her desk writing when I walked in. I stood there a moment waiting for her to acknowledge me. When she finally turned around and stood up, I ran to her and crushed her with a hug.

“What is this about?” she asked hugging me back.

“I just want to thank you for what you did.”

“What did I do, Charlotte?”

I pulled away and held her at arm’s length looking at her affectionately. “You helped save Sidney and I from a disagreeable future. Lady Susan told me everything.”

“Oh, yes that,” she said with a smile. “I couldn’t possibly stand by and watch Sidney marry that wretched Campion woman. As much as I dislike the man for my own reasons, he deserves to be happy as do you.”

“I can’t thank you enough. Everything has fallen into place and Sidney and I are better than ever. He even gained favor from my father.”

“I’m happy for you,” she said, but didn’t look quite as happy as she had been recently.

“Are you alright?” I asked.

“I’m fine,” she assured. “Was that the only reason you came?”

“No, actually,” I said while studying her expressions and body language. Something was wrong. I could sense it. “I came to see if you’d like to go shopping for the day with us.”

“Oh,” she said. “I suppose I could. I didn’t have anything else planned for the day.”

“Georgiana, I hope you aren’t upset with me and Alison. We would have come to see you more, but we were on a time crunch and had to work extra hard to get it all done.”

“Yet you both made time to fall in love,” she said, sounding hurt.

“It’s not as if we were actively looking for love. Our main focus was finishing the building. Falling in love just sort of happened,” I explained.

“Did Sidney put you up to this? Asking me to go shopping with you?” she wondered.

“Of course not!” I answered. “I had every intention of coming to see you today. Lady Susan and Alison are looking forward to seeing you as well. I’m sure the Prince Regent will be enthusiastic to make your acquaintance later today. We also have the play happening and the ball tonight. I want you to spend the entire day with us.”

“I already said I’d come. You don’t need to continue to convince me,” she said.

“I just don’t want you upset with me,” I said.

“I’m not upset, Charlotte. I am happy for you. Truly I am. I’m only angry at Sidney.”

“Whatever for?”

“He tells me I can write to Otis and then intercepts my letters, so he never receives them.”

I laughed. “Sidney can’t do such a thing?”

“Somehow he has. He must have. There’s no other explanation. Otis wouldn’t send my letters back.”

“Perhaps I can do some digging and find out why they are coming back undeliverable. If Sidney knows anything, he will tell me. I’m sure of it.”

She smiled accepting my offer. “Should we go? I’m dying to get out of this retched room.”

We walked outside and met up with Lady Worcester and Alison who were being entertained by Mrs. Griffiths and now the Beaufort sisters.

“Ah, there’s Charlotte and Georgiana,” Lady Susan said. “Please excuse us, Mrs. Griffiths. I look forward to see all of you at the ball tonight.” I curtsied towards Mrs. Griffiths and the Beaufort girls as I walked by them following behind Lady Susan and Alison with Georgiana on my arm. 

“Shall we go to the dress shop first?” Lady Susan suggested. We followed behind her while people on the streets stared and occasionally bowed or curtsied in her direction. She acknowledged every person politely as we made our way down the street. When we reached the dress shop, it was overflowing with women getting last minute alterations, adding ribbons or feathers to their look or attempting to have an entire new look made in a matter of hours. It was quite hectic and busy in the shop, but we went in anyway and walked around looking at items on the shelves and looked through the new fabrics that had recently arrived. My eyes fell upon a delicate lace that reminded me of snowflakes. My fingers traced the design and admired the pattern. What I wouldn’t give to have even a small piece of the lace worked into a gown. 

“Miss Heywood,” the familiar voice of Mrs. Campion sang from beside me. 

My heart skipped a beat before speeding up and causing me to lose focus. I glanced up at her and my fingers dropped the lace. I took a deep breath, bidding myself not to let her get to me. “Mrs. Campion. Nice to see you again.”

“Shopping for the ball?” she wondered.

“We are,” I answered.

“I do hope you’ve already decided on a gown. Far too many women looking for last minute alterations in here,” she said with a touch of snobbery. 

“We have our gowns ready at home,” I answered. “We are merely shopping for fun today.”

“Home? I thought you were a guest of Lady Denham? Surely you don’t consider that your home?” she laughed as did a couple women who stood behind her. 

“Mrs. Campion, I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” Lady Susan said walking up behind me. I was grateful for her presence as Mrs. Campion had a way of making me feel small and insignificant. 

“It’s where all of London is for the Prince Regent’s visit. Why wouldn’t I be here?”

“Surely you don’t expect to gain his favor?” Lady Susan laughed in the same condescending fashion Mrs. Campion had a moment ago. 

“There’s only one I wish to gain favor from,” Mrs. Campion said. I was fully aware who she referred to.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible. He’s newly engaged,” Lady Susan announced. My breath was caught in my throat as they spoke. Sidney and I hadn’t discussed how or if we would tell Eliza about our engagement. 

Mrs. Campion laughed again as if what Lady Susan said was preposterous. “You are mistaken. He can’t be engaged to another when he’s still engaged to me.” She was right. Technically he was still engaged to her. He seemed certain that during his time away she'd find someone else to marry, but she was rather persistent in her pursuit of Sidney.

Lady Susan smirked at her but didn’t respond. “Charlotte, this lace would be absolutely gorgeous on you. I should purchase the entire bolt.”

Mrs. Campion laughed again and looked to the ladies she was with for them to laugh as well. “Lace for a farmer's daughter? How ridiculous. Don’t you find it a little impractical?”

“You are mistaken. Lace fit for a bride,” Lady Susan said. “Excuse us.” Lady Susan held the bolt of fabric in her arms while she steered me away from Mrs. Campion. 

“Thank you for your help with Mrs. Campion,” I said. “I don’t know what it is about her, but she intimidates me in a way I don’t know how to overcome.”

“You need to remember who won the race. You have more power than you think you do. She is more intimidated by you than you are of her. You must trust me on this,” she said. I didn't know how Mrs. Campion could be intimidated by me. I had Sidney, yes, but she could have any man in the world with her beauty and elegance. Her money was an added bonus.

“You don’t have to purchase the lace. She’s right, it’s not practical,” I said.

“Nonsense. A wedding gown shouldn’t be practical. A wedding gown should be extravagant. If I can help make you the most beautiful bride anyone has ever seen, I will,” she said. “And I do expect to be invited to the wedding.”

“How could I not?” I said with a giggle. “You have been so kind to me and done so much for Sanditon.”

“You are the one who did everything. I was nothing more than a mere spectator.” 

Alison and Georgiana joined us and stared across the room towards Mrs. Campion.

“I’ve never even spoken to her, but I know I dislike her,” Alison said.

“Don’t we all, Alison,” Lady Susan agreed.

“I do hope she doesn’t cause a scene at the ball tonight,” Georgiana said, shooting daggers with her eyes towards Mrs. Campion. “I won’t hold back if she does.”

The anxiety of yet another ball being a disaster crept up inside of me. I didn’t want to attend the ball thinking on the drama it could ensue. Yet I knew I had no choice but to attend. I’d have to find a way to endure it.

I watched as Mrs. Campion left the shop and I let out a sigh of relief knowing she was gone. I stayed close to Lady Susan for the rest of the shopping trip. I did not want to run into Mrs. Campion again without someone close to me who knew how to deal with her. If she were a man, I could punch her in the nose like Sidney had taught me. But what would people say if I punched a woman? 

We walked into a jewelry shop next and Georgiana eyed a pair of earrings with red stones surrounded by smaller stones. 

“These are beautiful,” she said admiringly. 

“Should you get them?” I asked. “You could wear them to the ball tonight.”

“I think I might,” she said excitedly showing Alison who was in agreement that she should get them.

I walked over to Lady Susan who was looking at jeweled hair pieces. “See anything you like?” I asked. 

“I have found the perfect adornment for you, my dear,” Lady Susan said with a smile. 

“For me?” I questioned curiously. “What do I need?”

Lady Susan turned around and held out a headband of pearls and stones that looked like flowers wrapped in gold wire to appear as branches. “We must get it for you,” Lady Susan insisted. 

“Lady Susan, it’s too much. I don’t need any of this. You already purchased the lace that’s far too extravagant. I don’t need anything more.”

“My dear girl, I enjoy indulging you. Please allow me this small moment to make you the most beautiful woman at the ball tonight where every man in the room won’t be able to keep their eyes off of you. Let’s make Mrs. Campion jealous and perhaps see you as what you are.”

“What am I?” I wondered with a small laugh.

“A strong and beautiful woman who shouldn’t be intimidated by anyone. Especially not someone as trivial as Mrs. Campion.” she said, placing the headband across my head and admiring it in the sunlight.

“I still don’t feel like I deserve any of this,” I said as Lady Susan went to pay for the headpiece. 

“You’ll just have to trust me.”

Lady Susan also bought Alison a hair comb with pearls and small pink stones and a silver flower shaped barrette with white stones for Georgiana. She definitely had fun indulging us for the day and we were forever grateful for her kindness. 

When our shopping trip was over, we walked down the path to the gazebo where a crowd of people had settled in waiting for the impromptu play to begin. I saw Sidney and Tom talking to some of the actors near the gazebo. I wanted to walk over to Sidney and make my presence known, but I also knew he was busy, and I didn’t want to distract him. I saw Mary standing nearby with Diana and Arthur, so I went over to greet them.

“Charlotte!” Mary said giving me a welcoming hug. “It’s been days since we last saw you.”

“I plan to remedy that. Now with the buildings nearly done and everything falling into place, there’s more time for me to visit with you and everyone else here in Sanditon.”

“Do you plan to stay with Lady Denham?” she asked.

“For now. We haven’t been on the greatest of terms, but at the moment she’s being tolerable.”

“Well, remember you always have a place with us if you ever need it.”

“Thank you, Mary.”

“Sidney came by this morning to talk to Tom. It’s been days since we’ve seen him. He mentioned he attended your brother’s wedding yesterday. Should I assume you two have worked things out?”

I smiled and ducked my head so I didn’t show too much enthusiasm. “We have. As soon as he returns from Antigua we will be married.”

“What wonderful news,” she cheered. “I always had a sense you would be the one to turn Sidney around.”

“Did you?” I laughed. “What gave you that idea?”

“The way you admired his portrait in our home on many occasions. I caught you looking at it many times. I could tell there was an interest there.” Had I stared at his portrait a little more than I should have? Thinking back on it, I probably had. 

“You remember Lady Worcester,” I introduced as she walked over to us with Georgiana and Alison.

“Of course. Nice to see you again, Lady Worcester.” Mary curtsied as did Diana. Arthur stood there awkwardly with a huge grin on his face.

“How do you like Sanditon?” Arthur asked.

“It’s quite a delight to be back here. I’m looking forward to the ball this evening.”

“We are as well,” Diana added. “It’s going to be the party of the century.”

“Has the Prince Regent arrived yet?” Mary wondered.

“He should be here soon,” Lady Worcester said looking around the crowd to search for him. “He was with Lady Denham earlier.”

“Isn’t that Lady Denham’s carriage coming into the yard?” Arthur asked noticing the carriage.

“It is,” Lady Susan agreed. “Excuse me.” She walked over to the carriage and met with the Prince Regent and Lady Denham. I watched as they were escorted to the front of the crowd and sat in chairs placed out just for them where Lord and Lady Babington were already sitting. Crowe caught glance of Alison and came over to greet her and stand near her during the show. 

“There are so many people here I’ve never seen before,” I observed. 

“It’s wonderful for Sanditon, isn’t it?” Mary said. 

“Indeed, it is. It’s like a miracle.”

Alison shushed us. “It’s about to start.”

Tom and Sidney took their place on the stage in front of everyone. Tom raised his hands to get everyone’s attention and quiet the crowd. In true Tom fashion, he stepped forward to make the introduction and take the credit for something he didn't do, while in true Sidney fashion, he stepped aside and allowed his brother all the glory.

“It’s my great honor to welcome our Prince Regent to Sanditon,” he began. “To show our appreciation for your visit, we have commissioned some actors to put on a little show for your enjoyment. In due time, Sanditon will have its own playhouse for many seasons to come. Please, enjoy the show!” Everyone clapped and cheered as the actors took their places. I saw Mrs. Campion standing on the other side of the yard with her group of friends looking elegant and proper among society. She was everything I was not.

While I paid more attention to her instead of the show, I felt Sidney come up close behind me and slip his familiar hand in mine ever so discreetly. I squeezed his hand and felt more at ease having him near. He leaned into my ear. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered. I smiled at his simple words and let out a sigh of relief. I needed to remind myself of what Lady Susan said. He chose me, not her. He didn’t want the elegant and proper lady of society who paraded him around on a tight leash like a new puppy. He wanted the country girl who was too opinionated and too headstrong who wanted nothing more than for him to be his truest and happiest self. He gave up everything for me, not her. I shouldn’t be intimidated by her. I let my attention focus on the show rather than Mrs. Campion and ease into my position at Sidney's side.

After the short comedy show the actors put on, there was a woman who took the stage and sang a beautiful operatic rendition. Once she was done, some of the local children, including Jenny and Alicia, took the stage and sang a couple simple songs that everyone enjoyed. At the end, everyone cheered and clapped looking as if they enjoyed the show. Tom stepped back up on the stage at the end thanking everyone for coming and thanking the actors and singers for a job well done. The Prince Regent and Lady Susan both stood at the end to clap. Afterwards, people began to break up into smaller groups and conversate. 

“Well, Sidney,” I said turning to face him. He had a grin on his face before I even said anything more. “It appears your show was a huge success.”

He nodded his head before tilting his head to one side and smiling. “Yes, it appears it was. I’m quite thankful I have a true visionary to give me such wonderful ideas.”

I smiled and tilted my head to match his while staring up at him. “True Visionary, you say? I don't believe I gave you the idea. If I remember correctly you stole the idea.”

He chuckled. "Perhaps I did. Forgive me."

I stepped a little closer to him before speaking again. "I believe true vision comes from working together to make our ideas come to fruition." We looked into each other's eyes longing to kiss and be free to touch one another in public.

“Miss Heywood,” someone called from behind me, interrupting our moment. I turned around to see who I needed to curse.

“Mr. and Mrs. Stringer,” I greeted politely, wishing they hadn't interrupted us. They walked towards us arm in arm. Sidney moved to stand beside me and join in the conversation. Sidney and Mr. Stringer shook hands greeting each other politely. I could tell he was just as upset as I was that someone had interrupted us.

“I enjoyed the show immensely. I must say, this entire trip to Sanditon has been very enlightening. I may never leave,” Mrs. Stringer said.

“I’m happy to hear it,” I said. “I feel the same as you. Once you come to Sanditon, it’s hard to leave.”

“Indeed, it is. I’m looking forward to the ball tonight,” she said. “I’ve never attended a ball with my husband. I’m told he knows how to dance,” she teased. She glanced at him causing him to smile and look away bashfully.

“I can attest, he is quite a good dancer. I’ve had the pleasure of dancing with him at a past ball here in Sanditon.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” she said. “Could I tempt you with an afternoon of tea next week? I’d love to spend more time discussing what we had discussed the other day.” 

“I’d be delighted.” She curtsied and excused them from us to visit with others.

“What were you discussing the other day with Mrs. Stringer?” Sidney wondered once we were alone again.

“Architecture and a woman’s place in society,” I answered. “She’s quite intrigued by what I’ve accomplished here in Sanditon when I shouldn’t have.”

“Why shouldn’t you have accomplished anything?” he wondered.

“I’m a woman, Sidney. It’s not proper for me to be working at the building site with the men or be in any sort of authority position with them.”

“Yet you did,” he reminded. 

“Thanks to you. If you hadn’t paid the men to listen to me, I wouldn’t have any say on anything.”

He smirked and shook his head a few times. “You underestimate yourself.”

“How so?”

“I may have had to pay the men to listen to you at first. By the end, all those men respected and admired you because of your abilities, not because they were being paid,” he said. I looked up at him with confusion. I hadn’t thought of it that way before. “Charlotte, everyone in this town admires you. I’m not sure why you don’t see it. No one quite as much as me, though.”

“Charlotte!” Lady Denham called from across the yard. I groaned and rolled my eyes before excusing myself from Sidney and walking over to Lady Denham. She had Georgiana and Alison cornered as well. “I’d like you girls to meet Lord Moreland and his sons.” We were paraded in front of a group of men by Lady Denham. Lord Moreland was an older man who had far too many wrinkles across his face. I wondered if there was a Lady Moreland somewhere or if Lord Moreland was a widow. His sons looked as if they were still in their prime, perhaps late and early twenties. I never did ask Lady Denham much about them, as I simply didn’t care. The three of us curtsied in front of them politely while Lady Denham introduced each one of us. “Forgive me, I may have forgotten all of your names already,” Lady Denham laughed at her poor memory.

Lord Moreland stepped forward to introduce his sons. “My eldest son, Isaac.” Isaac was tall with dark hair and dark eyes. He seemed guarded and far too proper with his bow towards us. He reminded me much of Sidney. “Next in line is Benjamin.” Benjamin reminded me of Arthur. A little on the shorter and rounder side, full of life with his happy grin plastered on his face, copper colored hair with green eyes. He seemed to be the odd one out against his brothers who all shared the tall, dark hair and dark eyes. “Thomas is my middle son.” Thomas seemed like the lady’s man. He stepped forward and kissed each of our hands while speaking a French line in an attempt to woo us. “My second to youngest is Andrew.” Andrew was quiet. He seemed like the shy one who felt uncomfortable in his own skin. I felt sorry for him and thought about what I could do to make him feel more at ease. “My youngest is Frederick.” I observed Frederick the longest. He seemed indifferent to being here. Almost as if he found the entire event boring. He did seem young, so perhaps his mood was due to his age. He reminded me of Georgiana, who at times seemed full of life and other times was moody and sad. Perhaps he had a similar personality. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet all of you,” I greeted. “Will you be staying in Sanditon long?”

“Only through the Prince Regent’s visit. Unless, of course, my sons find a reason to stay longer,” Lord Moreland explained. It wasn’t hard to figure out what Lord Moreland was looking for. He was hoping his sons would find potential wives.

“Mrs. Griffiths has two charges we should introduce you to tonight at the ball,” Georgiana offered. I had to stifle a giggle. Alison struggled more than I did. Perhaps one or two of these men would enjoy the company of the Beaufort sisters. It was always possible.

“Are you referring to those silly Beaufort sisters?” Lady Denham asked sounding repulsed.

“I am, Lady Denham,” Georgiana answered smugly. “They would be wonderful company for the Moreland men.” Alison snickered again causing me to let a small giggle out. 

“Forgive us,” I said trying to compose myself. “We are still reeling from the play. I’m sure we will see all of you tonight at the ball. Excuse us.”

The three of us walked away and when we were far enough away, we all started to laugh. “They seemed rather pretentious,” Georgiana said.

“They all seem rather different,” I said. “I’m sure later tonight we will have a chance to get to know them better.”

“Do we have to?” Alison complained. 

“We must be polite and dance with anyone who asks, even if we are engaged,” I reminded.

“I don’t care about what’s proper or expected of me. If I don’t wish to dance with someone, I will tell them,” Georgiana informed with great force in her voice. Her words didn't surprise me. 

“Should we return to the house to dress?” I asked. Georgiana groaned, but agreed we should return. We found Lady Susan and made our way back to Mrs. Griffiths to see Georgiana back before returning to Sanditon House. The ball was going to be a huge success, despite who was in attendance. I wasn't going to let anything or anyone ruin the night this time.


	29. A Third Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I do a lot of research. In those times, if you danced with the same woman or man three times at a single ball, it was declaring an engagement or at least that arrangements between families had happened. 
> 
> Originally I said this story would be about 30 chapters long. Since I've had to break up the chapters a few times it'll be more like 35, but I do plan to add a few more chapters that will be more explicit natured, so maybe 40 or so chapters when all is said and done. I will give warnings at the chapters with more sexual content and have been thinking of ways I can put a symbol somewhere to indicate where that scene is so if someone doesn't wish to read it and wants to skip past it they can but still be able to read the rest of the story into their marriage. 
> 
> On Twitter, many are requesting a woodchopping Sidney scene. Ask and you will receive. It's coming after a few more chapters, I promise.

~Charlotte~

When we returned to Sanditon House, we had a light dinner with Lady Denham and our guests before going upstairs and getting ready. Alison and I helped each other with getting ready and doing each other’s hair like we used to back at home. I wore a coral colored dress with gold trimming and details. Alison wore a white dress with blue trimming and bows. Our hair was properly up in fashionable hairstyles with the comb and headband Lady Susan had gifted us earlier in the day. When we were ready, we headed down to the drawing room to wait for everyone else. Lady Denham was already there with a few of our other guests. Shortly after we gathered, Lady Susan and the Prince Regent emerged looking like the true royalty they were. Lady Susan wore a gold dress that sparkled at every turn. We were all breathless watching them walk in.

“Shall we go?” Lady Susan asked. We all snapped back to reality and followed them out to the waiting carriages. 

Lady Denham reprimanded us the entire way to the assembly rooms about how we needed to make a good impression on Lord Moreland and his sons. Once we got more of the story, she was hoping he or one of his sons would settle down in Sanditon and invest in building the town bigger and better. I apologized to Lady Denham for our earlier behavior and promised to do what I could to convince the Moreland men of the benefits in Sanditon. If I could convince the Prince Regent of its charm, I could convince these men as well.

We exited the carriage and followed Lady Denham into the building. Alison and I took each other’s arm as we looked around. Lady Denham had gone all out with decoration and splendor in the rooms. She took a seat to the side to watch the room. Directly behind us, Lady Susan and the Prince Regent walked in. The room went quiet as they came over and sat down next to Lady Denham. Slowly, the rooms started to buzz with conversation and excitement again. I watched as one family after another walked over to the Prince Regent to make his acquaintance. 

I searched the rooms for Sidney but couldn’t find him anywhere. I saw Eliza with her usual group of ladies standing to the side of the room talking and looking around. Our eyes connected for a moment and she gave me that familiar conniving grin. I saw the Moreland men standing around watching all the people coming in, studying every eligible woman who walked in. The room was beginning to fill overwhelmingly. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to find Sidney in the crowd.

When Mr. Crowe came up behind Alison, I asked him where Sidney was, but I caught a glimpse of him on the balcony before he could answer. He had a pleasant grin on his face while he watched me. I smiled up at him before making my way through the crowd and up the stairs to join him. 

He grabbed my hands and pulled me close to him. “It’s only fitting we start the night here,” he said.

I laughed. “It’s usually where we end our nights, not where we begin them.”

“Precisely why we need to change our usual pattern. I did promise to make this night better than any other ball you’ve attended.”

“You did.”

He released my hands and reached into his pocket. “To start the night, I have a gift for you.”

“A gift? For me?” I said surprised.

“There will be many gifts during our marriage,” he informed proudly. 

“I don’t need any gifts,” I said shaking my head.

“I know,” he said. “It’s why I do it.” He took my hand turning it palm up and carefully placed something in it. I looked down to see what it was. In my hand was a gold heart-shaped charm with tiny pearls and blue stones placed in a flower pattern hanging from a chain. I bit my lip looking at it. I wondered where he had gotten it. How could he afford to buy something so extravagant?

“It’s beautiful,” I whispered. “It’s far too much.”

He leaned his head in almost leaning his forehead against mine. “It was my mothers,” he explained. “When she died, we decided to split her jewelry amongst the four of us. Mary wears many pieces Tom took and of course Diana took what she wanted. She also wears what Arthur took quite often. I’ve never had any use for what I have, until now.”

“Are you sure you want me to have this?” I asked looking up at him hesitantly. “It’s far too precious to give to me.”

He sighed with a smile. “Charlotte, nothing would make me happier than to see you wear this and the other pieces I’ll be giving you in time.”

I swallowed against the lump in my throat. Somehow it was still hard for me to believe someone like Sidney Parker loved me. I untied the simple ribbon that held the pendant I had on and handed it to him so I could put the new necklace on. He stuck my other charm in his pocket and smiled proudly at the necklace now secured around my neck. “I believe you owe me the first dance, Mr. Parker,” I reminded with a smile.

“I believe you are right, Miss Heywood,” he said offering his arm leading me down the stairs and out to the dance floor. The first reel started, and we lined up with all the other couples dancing. Alison and Mr. Crowe as well as Mr. and Mrs. Stringer were among the couples lined up across from each other. The dance had a lot of steps and skips as we spun in and out of lines with the other couples changing partners multiple times, and then going back to our original partners. Everyone was jubilant and enjoying the upbeat first dance of the night, even if the room was overcrowded. The dance was very long and by the end we were all exhausted and struggling to catch our breath. Sidney came closer to me as we both clapped our hands for the orchestra. 

“Who else are you being passed around to tonight?” he asked as the loud clapping came to an end and we walked a few steps to the side of the room. 

“Lady Denham expects me to dance with the Moreland men. She’s trying to convince them of Sanditon’s charm in hopes one or more may decide to live here and potentially invest in the development of the town.”

He nodded his head. “Well, I suppose I will do the same and try to promote Sanditon to anyone who will listen.”

“Every little bit helps,” I reminded. 

“Come find me later if you wish to dance again,” he said.

I smiled. “I definitely will.” He let out a light chuckle before leaving me alone. I turned around to face the crowd and took a deep breath. I saw Alison and Mr. Crowe dancing again. I had a feeling he wouldn’t allow her to dance with anyone else during the night unless he approved.

Thomas, the middle brother and to my own conclusion the lady’s man, approached me first. “How do you do, Miss Heywood,” he said sweetly. 

“Very well, thank you,” I said. “How are you enjoying the ball?”

“I haven’t had the pleasure of dancing yet, so I can’t give a fair answer to your question. Perhaps you’ll be interested in joining me at the next dance?”

“Of course,” I agreed. He nodded then asked if I wanted a drink. I accepted his offer and a few minutes later he brought me a drink. 

“I must say, Miss Heywood, you are looking rather lovely tonight. Perhaps the most beautiful in the room,” he said boldly.

“Thank you, Mr. Moreland.” I felt rather uneasy after his comment. My eyes scanned the crowd searching for Sidney. He was speaking with a group of men and looked distracted. 

“Charlotte,” Georgiana spoke from behind me. I had never been more thankful for a familiar face.

I took her hands in mine. “Georgiana, how happy I am to see you.” 

“This whole dance is rather dreary, but at least I get out of the house,” she said. 

“We will do something extra special here soon,” I assured. 

“Have you had a chance to speak to Sidney about my letters?”

“I haven’t, but I will.”

Mr. Moreland grabbed my hand and whipped me out to the dance floor. “A new dance is starting,” he said. I stumbled as I was pulled out to the dance floor but did my best to steady myself. I didn’t like the way he grabbed me without my consent and pulled me out to the dance floor, but I obliged the best I could.

We faced each other and bowed before I placed my hand in his and he pulled me close. I tried my best to keep some distance between us, but he kept pulling me closer. My heart raced and my mind went wild with memories of Mr. Fritz. I didn't wish to dance with him any longer but felt powerless to do anything about it.

“You have caught my eye, Miss Heywood,” he said.

“Did I?” My voice trembled. 

“Yes. When I first laid my eyes on you, I knew I would make you my wife.”

I laughed. “Mr. Moreland, I think you may be mistaken. How can you come to such a conclusion? You don’t even know me.”

“What is there to know?” he wondered. “You are of marrying age, in Sanditon looking for a husband, are you not?”

“Indeed, I’m not,” I assured powerfully. “I have no intentions of marrying anyone anytime soon, especially someone I’ve barely met.”

He pulled me closer as we moved across the floor. “I’ll have you know; many women would be lining up for a chance to marry me. You’d be a fool to turn me down.”

“Then it shouldn’t be a problem to find someone else. I will not be marrying you,” I assured.

I stopped mid dance and pushed him away, excusing myself from the dance. I hastily walked towards Georgiana, but Sidney was in front of me before I reached her. I could tell he was upset. His eyes were filled with anger as he stared down Mr. Moreland who still stood out on the dance floor looking at me with a smug look on his face. I placed my hand on Sidney’s chest. “Sidney, look at me,” I demanded.

He begrudgingly broke his glare on Mr. Moreland and looked down at me with a shaky breath. “Are you alright?” he asked. His voice seethed with anger.

“I’m fine. Everything is fine. Please don’t cause a scene.”

“What did he say to you?” he asked, glaring back at Mr. Moreland who now left the dance floor with an arrogant air about him. I watched as Sidney’s jaw clenched and his breathing got shallower and more intense.

“It doesn’t matter what he said. I’m fine,” I assured. 

He broke his trance and looked at me again, taking a deep breath and calming slightly. I tried to reassure him with my eyes that I was fine. “Dance with me,” he ordered taking my hand and leading me out to the dance floor.

He swung me around and took me in his arms for the dance. He was still tense and watching Mr. Moreland from the corner of his eyes. 

“Sidney, please look at me,” I begged. He focused his attention on me, but his forehead was still creased with a frustrated expression and his jaw still clenched. “You have to trust me. I can handle men like him. I had a very good teacher show me how to punch a man in the nose if he gets unruly, remember.”

“What happened?” he asked.

“It was nothing. He just said he wished to marry me, and I told him no.”

“He asked you to marry him?” he asked sounding even more angry. I could feel his hands tighten around my waist and hand.

“Sidney, please don’t cause a scene.”

“I won’t, but I will be making sure he knows you are not eligible.”

“Can we speak about something else?” I begged.

He sighed and tried to relax for my benefit. “What do you wish to talk about?”

“Georgiana thinks you are preventing her letters from reaching Otis. Is it true?” 

“I don’t have any idea why they are not reaching him. I haven’t tampered with the mail. I assure you,” he said. 

“Is there a way we can find out why?” I wondered. “To put her mind at ease?”

“I will send out some inquiries to find out why next week.”

“Thank you. I’m sure it’ll make her feel better. I think she’s worried more than anything. Worried he doesn’t want to hear from her any longer, or perhaps something dreadful has happened to him.”

“I understand her concern and I will do what I can to find out.”

With every word we spoke, Sidney relaxed. “Have you had any luck promoting Sanditon?”

He sighed. “Regrettably, no. Most of the men here are only here because of the Prince Regent. They aren’t looking for a new holiday spot.”

“We have to keep trying. Someone is bound to see the benefits of Sanditon’s future,” I said. 

He sighed and smiled down at me. “You’re right. We will keep trying until there’s no hope left.”

Once the dance was over, we left the dance floor and joined the Babington’s who were standing along the wall. Mr. Crowe and Alison joined us. “It’s a wonderful night for a party, isn’t it?” Alison said joyously. 

“Indeed, it is,” I agreed. 

Esther looked irritated by the statement. “It’s far too hot and crowded in this room. I feel nauseous just standing here.”

I placed my hand on her arm. “I don’t believe that’s because of the party. You have a baby growing inside of you. Everything feels different when you’re with child.”

“Who are these men my aunt is entertaining?” she asked nodding her head towards the other side of the room. We all turned to see her laughing and looking joyous while speaking to Lord Moreland and three of his sons, including Thomas Moreland. I could hear Sidney’s low growl when he saw him.

“Lady Denham is hoping for new investors for Sanditon. She believes Lord Moreland will be a great investor especially if one of his sons finds a bride here in Sanditon and decides to settle down here,” I explained.

“Oh, yes,” she said drawing the words out while she watched them from across the room. “She did mention something about them.”

“I believe I remember her speaking on how she has sold Sanditon as a place to find brides to him, which is why he came,” Lord Babington explained.

“Is he trying to find brides for his sons or for himself?” Mr. Crowe asked. “He seems to be rather flirtatious with Lady D and she is eating it up.” We all laughed, seeing his point. Lady Denham giggled like a schoolgirl at his every word. I scanned the room for Georgiana and saw her speaking with Arthur and Diana along with another older man who looked familiar, but I couldn’t place the name. 

“Who is speaking with Georgiana?” I asked Sidney so only he could hear me. He turned to see and then looked at me. “I believe his name is Lord Grasmere.”

“Oh yes,” I said remembering the name now. Lady Susan had introduced him at the regatta. “Is he a friend of Arthur and Diana’s?”

“I couldn’t tell you. I saw him in London once and he spoke of meeting my brother and sister at the doctor’s in London. Neither of them has spoken of him much,” Sidney explained.

“Georgiana looks miserable. Perhaps you should ask her to dance,” I suggested.

He smirked. “I’m fairly certain I’m the last person she’d wish to dance with.”

“Which is exactly why you should. Show her you care about her wellbeing. Help her have a good time,” I urged. 

He sighed and gave me a look of irritation. “As you wish,” he said agreeing to my request.

“Mr. Crowe,” I said getting his attention. “How about that dance you promised me?”

He bowed in agreement and offered me his hand. Alison looked on proudly. This dance was another group dance changing partners often and moving in and out of formations. I watched Georgiana who still had a sadness about her while she danced with Sidney. I didn’t know how to cheer her up, but I had to find a way.

After the dance, I bowed politely at Mr. Crowe before he made his way back over to Alison. Sidney was speaking with Georgiana and I didn’t want to intrude. I noticed Lady Susan watching me with a smile on her face. I walked over to her and took her extended hands as she pulled me to the seat next to her.

“Are you enjoying the ball, my dear?” she asked.

“Very much,” I answered. “It’s been a delightful evening.”

“I see you have a new piece of jewelry. Might I assume it was a gift from Mr. Parker?” she wondered.

I touched the necklace around my neck and smiled. “It is. He said it was his mothers,” I added.

“What a special gift he has given you,” she said with a smile. “I always knew everything would work out for the two of you.”

I sighed and looked down at my lap. “We just need investors for Sanditon so Sidney can get out of the debt with Lady Denham.”

“Yes, I spoke to Lady Denham about your situation. We had a very lovely conversation. I think in time everything will work out. I have every faith Lady Denham will come around,” she said.

“Before he has to leave for Antigua?” I wondered helplessly.

“I can’t promise anything, but she seems more agreeable than you described. I think more than anything she feels hurt by the Parker family, Tom especially for taking advantage of her. And also Sidney, who lied to her for weeks and expected to earn her favor by using her affection for you as his ploy.”

“I don’t believe that was Sidney’s intent at all. He was merely trying to make amends in any way he could.”

“I know, my dear. It’s only how Lady Denham perceived the situation. In time she will come around.”

“I hope you are right, and sooner rather than later.”

“I think your biggest hindrance might be Mrs. Campion,” she said. “I have done what I can to make her step aside, but she is rather relentless. She has no intention of giving up without a fight.”

I glanced across the room and found her standing with Sidney and Georgiana. They appeared to be arguing. I could tell Sidney wasn’t happy and Georgiana didn’t look much better. “Do you have any advice on what to do about her?” I asked.

“The only advice I can give is to continue to stand by Sidney and assure him you don’t plan to go anywhere. Support him in his fight to escape her. And most importantly, don’t let Mrs. Campion intimidate you. You hold more power than you believe by merely standing your ground.”

I listened to her advice and took a deep breath before walking across the room towards Sidney. I joined him and Georgiana and caught just a bit of the conversation they were having with Mrs. Campion. 

“Mrs. Campion,” I greeted, slipping my hand around Sidney’s arm protectively “What is the topic of discussion?” Sidney glanced at me with disbelief across his face while Georgiana smirked. 

“We were having a private conversation,” she sneered. 

“I see. And what was your private conversation about?” I asked feeling petrified but trying to listen to Lady Susan’s words in my head and be strong.

“It doesn’t concern you,” she said glaring at me.

“I’d disagree,” Georgiana interjected. “I believe it has everything to do with Charlotte.”

“I don’t believe this conversation has anything to do with you either, Georgiana?” Mrs. Campion chided.

“If it has to do with you marrying Sidney, it has everything to do with me. Or have you forgotten we are a package deal?” Georgiana said. 

Mrs. Campion smirked and glared at Georgiana. “How could I forget.”

“Eliza, I don’t know what you want from me,” Sidney started. “I’ve made it perfectly clear many times I don’t plan to marry you. I have enough reason not to from your treatment of Georgiana alone.”

“What is Georgiana to you but a nuisance you won’t have to worry about after a few short years?” Mrs. Campion said.

“You are mistaken, Mrs. Campion,” Georgiana said. “Sidney is my family as is Charlotte. And family doesn’t go away after a few short years. Family is for life.”

I smiled affectionately at Georgiana and took her hand in mine. 

“And what about the money? Isn’t that what you’re really after?” Mrs. Campion asked.

“If a fortune is all you have to offer, there isn’t much use for you,” I said. “I assure you; the debt has been dealt with.”

“How so?” she wondered.

“I paid Lady Denham with everything I had,” Sidney explained. “I’m utterly a poor man with nothing now.” He smiled and lightly chuckled staring down at my hand wrapped around his arm protectively before glancing up and meeting my eyes. “But it doesn’t matter. I still feel like the wealthiest man in the world.”

“I’ve never known you to be so foolish,” she chided. 

“That’s the thing, Eliza. You don’t know me. I don’t believe you ever did. I surely never knew you, not truly,” Sidney said. “I’ve begged and pleaded with you to release me and still you hold on. Why, when you know there’s no hope?”

“I’ve never given up on something I truly want,” she explained. 

“Why on earth would you want someone who doesn’t love you?” Georgiana asked.

She laughed. “You poor, naïve girl. Love is purely a myth,” she scolded.

“I disagree, Mrs. Campion,” I said. “Love is definitely not a myth. People fall in love when they least expect it. Sometimes you just have to open yourself up to the possibility. Perhaps instead of pursuing an impossible feat, you should see what else the world offers.”

She sighed and pursed her lips tightly. “What is your plan to marry? Once the banns are read, it’ll be determined impossible to wed. I'll make sure of that.”

“We’ll wait,” I announced confidently. “I’m quite certain my determination is far stronger than yours.”

“And if it’s not?” she asked. We glared at each other as if no one else was in the room. 

I smirked. “The fact you are willing to give up your fortune to a man just to have him marry you, while instead that same man gave up his fortune to have me, shows how much power I hold over your insignificance. Excuse us, Mrs. Campion.” I steered Sidney and Georgiana away from her and walked to the other side of the room.

Once far enough away, I let out the breath I was holding in. Sidney and Georgiana stared at me in disbelief. 

“Where did that come from, Charlotte?” Georgiana asked.

“I don’t know whether to be frightened of you or to kiss you in front of all these people?” Sidney said with an astonished grin across his face. 

“I don’t know what came over me. Lady Susan gave me advice to stand up to her, so I did.”

“I’m quite impressed,” Sidney said.

“As am I,” Georgiana agreed.

I took Georgiana’s hands in mine and looked at her sincerely. “I want you to know, I consider you my family too. You’ll always be my family.”

She smiled and for the first time in a while looked truly happy. “It’s nice to know I’m not alone and have people who truly care about me. For the longest time I’ve felt entirely lost in a world full of people.”

“I said it the other night and I do mean it, Georgiana. You are family. I considered your father my own father when I lost mine and you my sister. There’s a special bond between siblings.”

She nodded her head. “Perhaps you can stop acting like my father, then?” she wondered.

Sidney chuckled. “Not a chance.”

“Well can you at least figure out why my letters aren’t getting to Otis?” she begged.

“Charlotte and I were just speaking about that. I assure you, I had nothing to do with it. I will send some inquiries next week to find out why.”

“Thank you,” she said with a sigh. 

“Miss Lambe, is it?” Frederick Moreland asked, approaching us hesitantly. He was the brother that I thought looked bored earlier in the day. He still seemed indifferent, but had a slight glint of excitement in his eyes. “May I tempt you out on the dance floor?”

She glanced at me with those annoyed eyes, but ultimately took him up on his offer to dance. 

“Sidney!” Tom called from a distance away, motioning for Sidney to come over. He stood with Diana and Arthur who were still speaking with Lord Grasmere. 

Sidney sighed and excused himself before joining his family for their conversation. I looked around the room, noticing how everyone was having a pleasant evening and enjoying the ball. Even the Prince Regent, who hadn’t moved from his seat all night, but graciously accepted every family who wished to make their acquaintance known. Lady Susan sat next to him and affectionately cared for his every need throughout the night. I had come to the conclusion, despite the run-in with Mrs. Campion and Thomas Moreland, the night had turned out rather well. I had every confidence that my luck at balls had turned around. 

“Miss Heywood,” Isaac Moreland spoke from a few steps away. I glanced up at him, feeling a moment of dread. I didn’t care to dance with another Moreland son if they were anything like Thomas Moreland. “May I offer you a dance?”

“I suppose you can,” I agreed. A part of me dreaded it, but another part of me was reminded that we needed to convince more people to invest in Sanditon. I had to do what I could. I placed my hand on top of his and walked out to the dance floor. He took my hand in his and began to spin me around the dance floor. 

“I have been watching you throughout the night,” he admitted. My first instinct was this was going to be another terrible incident like the one with his brother. I searched the room looking for Sidney, knowing he was watching and probably ready to pounce at any moment. I didn’t want him to cause a scene, so I tried my best to not let what he was saying bother me.

“Were you?” I said trying to feign interest. 

“I take it you aren’t as eligible as Lady Denham claims?” he wondered. “I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting the man who has been at your side most of the evening, but I gather he has won your heart.”

“You would be correct in your hypothesis.”

He nodded his head and smiled. “I must apologize for my younger brother’s behavior earlier. He can be a bit forward at times.”

I smiled, feeling a little more at ease. “No reason to apologize. It wasn’t your fault.”

“We all have a lot of pressure being put on us to marry, me especially being the eldest,” he said trying to excuse his brother’s behavior. “Our father wants to see us all married off before he dies. He seems to think he is on his deathbed.”

“What makes him believe he’s dying? Is he ill?”

He chuckled. “Not in the least. He’s quite healthy. His father died at his age, so he believes he will too. It’s been rather bothersome for all of us to be constantly reminded of his imminent death while being expected to find wives as quickly as possible.”

“I would hope that type of pressure wouldn’t dissuade you or your brothers from finding love rather than settling for someone unsuitable just to satisfy your father.”

“I’m afraid he wouldn’t see it that way. Love is not something he believes matters.”

“I can say on great authority, love matters a great deal in a relationship. Without a sense of compatibility, there really is no point in marriage.”

He grinned and stared at me a long time taking in what I said. “I’ll have to keep that in mind.” 

He looked away and took a cleansing breath before spinning me around again.

“I understand you aren’t originally from Sanditon,” he began. “What brought you here?”

“This is my second time visiting. Lady Denham asked my sister and I to come be her companions for a while. I truly love being in Sanditon,” I answered. “How do you like Sanditon?”

“I haven’t seen much of it yet. We just arrived today. Perhaps you’d be tempted to give me a tour?”

“I’m sure I could,” I replied. I had come to the conclusion that my first impression of Isaac Moreland was incorrect. He may appear proper and a little guarded, but instead he surprised me and reminded me quite a lot of Sidney. He was kind and friendly.

“Tomorrow then? Perhaps we can take a carriage ride through the town and along the coast?” 

I smiled, feeling quite at ease with him. “It would be my pleasure.”

The dance ended and dancers left the floor while new dancers filled the floor for the next dance. Isaac offered his arm and led me off the dance floor to the side of the room.

“Well, Miss Heywood, Lady Denham assured my father this was the place to come if we were looking for brides. It appears quite a few of the ladies here tonight are spoken more. Perhaps you can point out the ones who are still available?” he asked.

I thought on it for a moment, trying to think who was still available. “Well there is the Beaufort sisters we spoke of earlier today." I scanned the room looking for them.

“Yes, I had the pleasure of meeting both of them. Perhaps a bit too young for my taste, though.”

I laughed agreeing with his thoughts. “Yes, perhaps.”

“Anyone else?” he wondered.

“Diana Parker is available. She’s a wonderful woman, but a little high-strung, I suppose,” I nodded in her direction who was standing near Arthur and his brother Benjamin looking to be having a pleasant conversation. I glanced around the room again, looking for anyone I might know. Mrs. Campion was cornered by Lady Susan and it came to me that she was indeed single even if she refused to believe it. “Mrs. Campion is a widow, and she comes with a fortune.” 

He turned his head to look at her but didn’t seem that interested. “Yes, I’ve heard of her. Not very good things, I might add.” 

I glanced around again and standing in the corner was someone I hadn’t seen in quite some time and definitely didn’t expect to see tonight. “I haven’t seen her in a few weeks, but I believe Clara Brereton is still available. Although she did have an unfavorable incident with Sir Edward Denham, Lady Denham’s nephew,” I added. “I’m afraid I don’t know many more of the ladies here tonight. Many are visiting specifically for the Prince Regent’s visit.”

He nodded his head with a smile. “Perhaps there aren’t as many eligible young ladies in Sanditon as Lady Denham led us to believe." 

“I’m afraid not.” 

“Well, you’ve given me a great deal to consider. I appreciate the help, Miss Heywood. I look forward to the tour of the town tomorrow.” He bowed his head and walked away towards the other side of the room. 

I was joined by Alison and Mr. Crowe who began telling me about their evening and what they had witnessed between attendees. Sidney joined us after a few moments. I smiled up at him, but something was off about his expression. I couldn’t quite understand if he was upset or overwhelmed or something else entirely.

“Charlotte,” he began. “Would you do me the honor of joining me on the dance floor again?”

I leaned in so only he could hear me. “Sidney, we’ve already danced twice tonight. You know if we dance again it’s declaring our engagement.”

He smirked. “I’m well aware of what a third dance will mean.” He put his arm out for me to take and be led to the dance floor. 

I hesitantly took his arm and looked at him intently. “Are you sure you want to do this?” 

“Are you having second thoughts about marrying me?” he asked as we stepped out onto the dance floor.

“No. Of course, not,” I answered. “But here of all places; in front of this crowd? This isn’t some sort of jealousy is it?”

We took our places across from each other. I could already feel the eyes watching us and the gossip spreading. “Whether it’s because of jealousy or not, it doesn’t change the fact that I have every intention of marrying you. The rest of the world should know you are spoken for,” he declared, fully indicating to me that this was definitely due to jealousy. 

I breathed my nervousness away and focused my attention on him. We bowed towards each other, then took each other’s hands and spun around the floor before coming together. Sidney held me close to his body, pressing into me with so much intent and desire. He grinned as if he was enjoying every moment of holding me close and moving me across the dance floor. There were no words spoken other than with our eyes being solely focused on each other. There was no one else in the room who even mattered anymore. We were together and would always be together. I had lost all sense of dance steps and just focused on being with Sidney and letting him lead me. I would always let him lead me to wherever he wanted me to be. The dance seemed to end far too soon to our liking. At the end of the dance, he held me close and refused to let me go, even though other dancers had begun to leave the floor. His face was so close to mine, and I felt the longing he had to kiss me. I felt it too. I didn’t even care where we were or who we were surrounded by. 

He smiled a huge smile and tilted his head slightly like he was overwhelmed with happiness. “Charlotte,” he breathed shaking his head like he was lost for words. “You’ve made your mark on the world. You made Sanditon a better place, saved my family, made me a better man, saved me from a lifetime of regret. Is there anything you can’t do?”

“Marry you,” I breathed. 

“We are one step closer to making that a reality,” he said, widening his smile. I thought he referred to us declaring our engagement in front of everyone, but it was much more than that. “She’s released me, Charlotte.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested, there's a facebook group called Sanditon Survival Book Club. There's a fanfic awards going on right now in the group and this story, among plenty of other amazing stories, are up for the first round of voting. I know some of you are already in that group, but if not please consider joining and voting for this story or any other wonderful story.


	30. New Engagements

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote out this long drawn out note about what happened yesterday and had every intention of posting it with this chapter. But I'm deciding against it and letting the dust settle. Just know, I still support Rose as Charlotte. There is no other actress who could be Charlotte in my eyes. I love this fandom and don't want to see it fall apart, so please try to take a step back and not be too harsh or quick with decisions to jump ship. I've said this before on Twitter, this isn't my first fandom. A similar incident happened and everyone jumped ship almost instantly, everyone left and didn't come back. It was heartbreaking to lose so many good friends and lose everything we had fought for. I don't want to lose anyone as I truly consider this fandom a second family. I love you all. Please stay safe and don't jump to conclusions so quickly as both Charlotte and Sidney did in season 1. 
> 
> This chapter might not be at the greatest time, but perhaps we all need a good cry. I know I do.

~Sidney~

I was not expecting what happened at the end of the ball. Eliza had been so persistent about our engagement even after I told her I never wished to marry her. While Charlotte was dancing with one of the Moreland men, Eliza cornered me alone this time. I was beyond irritated with her as I was keeping a close eye on Charlotte. These Moreland men had not proven themselves trustworthy yet. Even though Charlotte insisted she could handle men like the earlier Morland man, I wasn’t going to stand back and watch. 

Eliza had a sadness about her when I begrudgingly let my focus from Charlotte falter. “Are you truly done with me?” she asked through a quivering voice.

I sighed. “Eliza, I don’t wish to hurt you, but we are not good together. We should have known this wouldn’t work after what happened when we were kids. We weren’t right then and we aren’t right now.”

A tear fell from her eye. “I don’t want to be alone,” she cried. “That horrible Lady Worcester has turned all of society against me because of what my late husband and I did. I have no one.”

“I can’t be certain, Eliza, but I do believe Lady Worcester turned people against you to help Charlotte.”

She looked at me with disbelief. “You can’t be serious. Why on earth would she do such a thing just to help a farm girl?”

“Lady Worcester adores Charlotte, as do most people. She wants the best for Charlotte.”

“And she believes you are what’s best for her? You admitted to being a poor man with nothing to offer her. She clearly doesn’t have anything to offer the marriage. Why would someone as influential as Lady Worcester want that for someone she supposedly cares for?” she wondered.

“Perhaps it’s more about our affection for each other that intrigues Lady Worcester rather than our fortunes. Charlotte and I will be perfectly happy despite what our financial situations are,” I explained. “We’ve made it this far; we can make it through anything.”

“And what about Charlotte’s family? Are they going to accept you being her husband when you have nothing to offer her?” she wondered.

“They are already have,” I admitted causing her to look at me with bulging eyes. “Charlotte’s family doesn’t come from wealth. They value relationships and love above all else. I went and visited the Heywood family a few days ago and they’ve accepted me.”

She dropped her head and another tear fell from her eye before she took a deep breath and looked at me determinedly. “There really is no changing your mind, is there?”

“I’m afraid not. I apologize for putting you through this. I hope you can forgive me. I wish things were different and we never had to find ourselves in this position in the first place. But I love Charlotte and that’s not going change. You speak of not wanting to be alone, but if you were to marry me, you’d be even more alone. I wouldn’t stay with you. I’d be here, loving Charlotte from afar if that’s all I had. I have no wish to be your property who you parade around in society. That’s not me.”

“Very well,” she said willing a smile across her face. “I’ll release you from the engagement on one condition.”

I was taken aback by her announcement. “You’re releasing me?”

“I just need you to help me earn favor with Lady Worcester again.”

I sighed, knowing it might not be as easy as what she asks. “I will do my best, but I can’t make any promises. Perhaps it would be best for you to talk to her yourself and try to work out your differences.”

She nodded her head and sighed. “I think you are making a huge mistake, Sidney,” she said.

I stifled a laugh and grinned. “I thought the same thing about your choice ten years ago. But it was your choice to choose fortune. It’s my choice to choose love. I do wish you every happiness. I hope you know I’ll always care about your wellbeing. I hope you can find whatever it is that you need to make you happy.”

She sighed and stared at me a moment longer as if she was waiting for me to change my mind. “I suppose it’s done, then.”

I bowed towards her and left her to find Charlotte. I was in complete disbelief as I searched the room. I was trying to wrap my head around what happened and will myself to believe it. Do I just come out and tell Charlotte she released me? Do I wait until we are alone? Would Lady Denham find a new way to stop us from getting married? So many thoughts were running through my head, but the only thing I could truly focus on was Charlotte still dancing with Mr. Moreland and smiling and laughing like she was enjoying herself. I didn’t care for the way he looked at her or the way she looked at him. What were they talking about and laughing so happily about? 

I watched for a long time and even still after they left the dance floor and continued to speak. There was an anger inside of me I’d never felt before. It was different with Mr. Fritz or even the other Moreland brother, because I knew Charlotte was uncomfortable and my only instinct was to protect her. This was different. She wasn’t uncomfortable. She was too comfortable. I didn’t like it. I decided in that moment I didn’t care what anyone else in the room thought or said afterwards; not even Lady Denham. I was going to dance with Charlotte a third time and make it known to everyone she was spoken for. She chose me.

I walked over to her and asked her to dance again. She was so hesitant and nervous to do so, which only made me more upset. Did she not wish everyone to know we were engaged? She accused me of only dancing a third time because I was jealous. She certainly was right, which I knew I needed to work on, but I still wanted to dance with her. I wanted to hold her in my arms and know we were closer to making our future together a reality and no one was going to stand in our way. 

I pulled her into my arms and was thrilled with the sensation of her body pressed against mine. She did things to me I’d never experienced before. It wasn’t even a sexual thrill, which I definitely did feel, but it was more an emotional fulfillment. She made me whole. She made me excited for what was to come. She made me happy. As we spun around the floor, our eyes connected and there was no longer any doubt about her feelings for me. She was mine and I was hers. No other man or even woman would ever come between us. We were whole together. At the end of the dance, I refused to let her go. I held her in my arms and longed to kiss her like we did on the bridge in Willingden, but I knew I couldn’t. Just holding her longer than I should was threatening her reputation. But I had to tell her. She had to know Mrs. Campion had released me. Charlotte was shocked when I told her, almost not believing me. We finally left the dance floor to plenty of curious eyes watching us. As the next dance started, I walked her outside where a makeshift area had been set up to allow more space for guests. Even though there were still plenty of people around, it wasn’t quite as crowded as it was inside and much easier for us to talk.

“What do you mean she released you?” Charlotte asked.

I grinned and took her hands in mine. “She’s given me my freedom with the expectation I speak to Lady Worcester to redeem her reputation in society. It’s all she truly cares about,” I explained.

“We must speak to Lady Susan at once, then,” she said. She tried to walk away, but I pulled her back. 

“Wait!” I said, pulling her arm back and stopping her. “Tell me about this other Moreland brother. You seemed to enjoy his company more so than the other brother.”

She raised her eyebrow and gave me a dubious look. “Isaac Moreland is far different than Thomas Moreland. He reminds me much of you. We had a pleasant conversation and tomorrow I plan to give him a tour of Sanditon.”

I nodded my head and furrowed my brow. “A tour of Sanditon, you say?”

She smiled up at me with that knowing expression. “No need for concern, Sidney. He’s looking for a bride and interested in Sanditon, but he knew from the moment we danced the first dance I was yours.”

“Did he?” I asked, pulling her closer. 

“I’m fairly certain every person here tonight knows. It’s rather hard to deny now.”

“Very good point,” I said with a grin on my face. I pulled her even closer daring to kiss her. If everyone knew already would it truly be improper to steal a kiss?

“I’m slightly concerned how Lady Denham is going to react. Do you think she will forgive you?” she wondered.

“I would hope so, but I honestly don’t care at the moment.”

“Perhaps if I make a good impression on Isaac Moreland tomorrow, he will convince his father to invest,” she considered.

“Or perhaps she will convince Lord Moreland herself with her charm,” I said with a chuckle. She giggled and nodded her head in agreement.

We were interrupted by the person we were just speaking of. “Charlotte,” Lady Denham called. “It’s time to go.”

I sighed heavily and looked deep in Charlotte’s eyes begging her to stay with me. Hoping she’d want to and tell Lady Denham no.” Charlotte was too proper and good to do such a thing, though. She let go of my hands and walked past me, leaving me feeling empty and alone. 

I left the ball having far too many emotions running through me. Something I hadn’t been accustomed to in many years. I’d blocked most emotions for so many years that now as they came to the surface, it was overwhelming, but welcome all the same.

The next day, Crowe and I joined in at the church service knowing we would see Charlotte and Alison even if just briefly. We sat towards the back and half-heartedly listened to what Mr. Hankins was saying. I watched Charlotte and kept my focus on her as she sat next to Lady Worcester and Alison. I could sense the distance between her and Lady Denham even from afar. At the end of the service, Mr. Hankins made announcements about himself and Mrs. Griffiths being engaged, which didn’t come with any shock. He also spoke of Alison and Crowe being engaged, which made Crowe sit up in his seat and show some sense of propriety. I sensed he fell asleep halfway through the service. What did surprise me was hearing Clara Brereton engaged to one of the Moreland men. I glanced in her direction only for a moment, before focusing my attention back on Charlotte. Even though everyone in the room turned to look at Clara and then the Moreland man she was engaged to, Charlotte and Alison kept their eyes forward just like Lady Denham. I sensed Lady Denham was not happy about Clara being back in town, perhaps equally upset that she had engaged herself to one of the Moreland men when she had her eyes on them for Charlotte.

After the service, Crowe and I waited outside to have the briefest of moments with Charlotte and Alison, but they were both far too busy with the Prince Regent and Lady Worcester to give us more than a passing smile. I wished for more, but I knew she was busy trying to be a good host. I didn’t want to interrupt her for my own selfish needs. 

After speaking with Lady Worcester for a moment about Mrs. Campion, she and the Prince Regent left for a carriage ride along the shoreline. Even though I saw my brothers and family at church, I didn’t have a chance to talk to them, so I headed into town to see Tom. He had expressed his interest in some new development ideas at the ball, which made me nervous. I wanted to be sure he wasn’t getting himself dug even deeper in debt. I had come to the conclusion I would need to oversee everything Tom decided to do. I walked into the house and found Mary and Diana sitting at the table having tea. 

“Sidney! What a pleasant surprise,” Mary greeted standing from her seat and giving me a hug. 

“I’ve come to speak to Tom. Is he around?” I asked.

“I’m afraid not. He said he had some business to attend to as soon as we returned from church, but he didn’t give me much information on what that business was. Arthur is with him, though.”

I groaned and sat down at the table with them to pour myself a cup of tea. “We will need to keep him in check, Mary. I don’t want him doing again what he did before. I can’t bail him out a second time.”

“I know, Sidney. Believe me, I do try to keep him in line. He doesn’t listen to reason very well. He’s so determined to do good by us all.”

“He’d do good by us if he stopped trying so hard,” Diana added.

“It’s impossible to get him to stop,” I added with a heavy sigh. 

“Regrettably, I think it’s going to take a great deal of support from all of us,” Mary said.

“I’ll be leaving for Antigua soon. I’m counting on all of you to keep him at bay. I’m also asking for both of you especially, to keep a close eye on Charlotte. It’s unbearable to have to leave her. I’m not even sure I can bring myself to go through with it. I’m sure she’s going to need some comfort with friends and family.”

“Of course, Sidney,” Mary assured. “Charlotte will be in good hands.” 

While I sipped at the cup of tea, I noticed that awful portrait of me was taken off the wall and leaning against a table. Perhaps Mary was finally planning to burn it. I always hated that thing Tom insisted on hanging in his front room. In our younger years, Tom had decided he was going to be a painter. One of many career paths he pursued. He got all the supplies and started painting anything placed in front of him. Being the younger brother who always wanted to please him, I sat for a painting. I remembered telling him to make me look older as I was just a kid at the time. When he was done, I winced at what he had created. I didn’t think it looked anything like me and it still didn’t to this day, but he was so proud of it and insisted on hanging it up wherever he was. Thankfully he grew out of the painting career path, but I wasn’t so sure he did much better with his current career path either. “Finally getting rid of that old thing?” I asked motioning towards the painting.

Mary glanced over her shoulder to see what I was referring to. She giggled. “I’ve decided to give it to Charlotte. She’s admired that painting from the moment she walked into our home. I thought it might help with the separation if she had something to remind her of you.”

I rolled my eyes. “You couldn’t think of anything better?” 

“Sidney!” she scolded. 

“I think it’s rather sweet. I’m sure Charlotte will treasure it,” Diana said with a smile.

“It’s not exactly what I had in mind to leave her with,” I groaned.

“What were you considering?” Mary asked.

The corner of my lip rose with a half-smile as I thought on it. “I don’t care to indulge at the moment.”

“I did notice she was wearing mother’s necklace last night and again today at church,” Diana pointed out. “I assume she appreciated the gift.”

I smiled before taking another drink, thinking on when I gave it to her and how happy it made her. Even how happy it made me to see her wearing it. “She did.”

“I have a good idea what you plan to give her as a going away gift,” Diana divulged with a grin before taking a sip of her tea. I’m sure she knew exactly what I had planned, but I still wasn’t going to reveal. 

“You do plan to spend Michaelmas with us tomorrow?” Mary asked, changing the subject.

“I’ll make an appearance, yes,” I answered. “Perhaps Tom will be around then, and I can speak to him before I leave.”

“When do you plan to leave?” Mary asked sounding sad. 

“The morning after Michaelmas,” I answered. “I want to be sure I get left before the weather gets bad. I also have some business to attend to in London before I board a ship.”

“It seems like such a horrible time to leave. Couldn’t you wait until the spring or even summer of next year?” Mary asked.

“I’d rather get left as soon as possible. The sooner I leave, the sooner I can come back.”

“What about everything you’re going to miss?” Diana said. “Mr. Crowe and Alison Heywood’s wedding, Lord and Lady Babington's child coming into the world. Weren’t you to be a godparent? Shouldn’t you stay for those moments?” 

“If I stay for every event I’m bound to miss, I’ll never leave only delaying my own happiness with Charlotte. I’d rather leave now. I’m certain everyone will manage without me. I have every faith Charlotte will take care of everyone,” I said. 

Mary placed her hand on mine giving it a warm squeeze. “And we will take care of her,” she assured. I gave her a smile and nodded my head thanking her silently. She, more than anyone else, probably understood what a separation after finally coming together would do to us. I just prayed Charlotte waited for me even if Lady Denham didn’t want her to.

~Charlotte~

Lady Denham was not happy with my scandalous behavior at the ball. All the way back to Sanditon House she reprimanded me for my disgraceful show of affection towards a man right there in front of everyone. What she really meant was my shocking show of affection towards Sidney in front of the Moreland men. I simply didn’t care. I only danced with two of the men and only one of them I wished to ever see again. But I felt comfort in knowing Isaac Moreland accepted my engagement to Sidney and didn’t seem bothered by it. He was not pursuing me, like Lady Denham hoped he would. I could see us being friends, but nothing more.

“Lady Denham, I know you don’t think too highly of the Parker family right now, but my feelings for Sidney aren’t going to disappear just because you bring another man around,” I said. “Sidney and I plan to wed as soon as he gets back from Antigua. I plan to wait for him, not because he asked, but because I wish to do so. I love him and he loves me. I know two people being in love might seem like a foreign concept, but there it is. I wish you would accept it. We will do what’s necessary to be together. Nothing will stand in our way, not even you.” I stared at her from across the carriage fully expecting to be scolded for my behavior. Instead her lips raised in a smile as if she enjoyed seeing me get angry. 

“Well spoken,” she said softly, but cynically. “Declaring your love like somehow that’s all you need to get through anything. Could you be anymore naïve, Charlotte? That man has already broken your heart more times than I can count. Why would you put yourself in that position for more heartache? You remind me so much of my younger self. I was a naïve girl once too and hung on every word a man spoke of love and of us being together. Even after he chose another and ran off to marry her, I still clung to hope we would be reunited.”

“I think you are mistaken on who you are reminded of in your younger years. Your story resembles Sidney’s more than mine. Perhaps you should think on that more, rather than constantly trying to paint him as something he’s not.”

When we pulled in front of the house, I stepped out before the footman was available and ran into the house trying to hold back my tears. Lady Susan had said she believed Lady Denham would come around. I didn’t think that was ever going to be possible. Lady Denham was the most stubborn and outspoken woman I’d ever met. At times I admired her boldness, but other times she only infuriated me.

I laid in bed wide awake thinking on how amazing the ball was and reliving the dance Sidney and I shared at the end of the night. The dance we had in London after rescuing Georgiana was a pivotal moment in our relationship. I felt truly in love with him for the first time during that dance. This dance was far more magical. This dance was declaring ourselves to each other in front of everyone. In my eyes we were married, even if the legalities hadn’t taken place yet. 

I’d decided in the early hours of the morning that after Lady Susan and the Prince Regent left, I was going to request to stay with Mary and Tom. I knew they already had a full house with Diana and Arthur now staying with them, but I had to find some independence from Lady Denham. Deep down I knew she meant well, but she was becoming quite smothering. I had a better understanding of Clara and why she was desperate to find a better path in life. I believe she went about it the wrong way, but I had witnessed many times where Lady Denham was quite overbearing towards Clara. She just wanted out but felt powerless to do so.

I thought on Clara quite a bit during the night. I saw her at the ball, but she didn’t seem to want her presence known to Lady Denham with good reason. She probably would have been escorted out immediately. Why she was at the ball, truly confused me. Was she merely there to meet the Prince Regent or did she have another reason for her visit?

I only got a few hours of sleep before I was awoken by Alison to get ready for church. I told Alison of my plans to leave Sanditon House after Lady Susan left. She didn’t seem surprised by my decision. As much as she didn’t want to be parted from me, she felt like it would too much for the Parker family to take in both of us. She decided she would stay with Lady Denham until she married Mr. Crowe. I respected her decision and we promised each other to spend every day together until she was wed. 

During church I sat next to Alison and Lady Susan as Mr. Hankins gave a sermon about marriage. Lady Denham sat on the other side of Alison. We had not spoken a word to each other since the carriage ride home. I didn’t wish to speak to her if all she was going to do is continue to say such hurtful things about Sidney. 

At the end of Mr. Hankins sermon, he spoke about the ball and of so many new engagements in town. Not only about Alison and Mr. Crowe, but also himself and Mrs. Griffiths, which wasn’t much a surprise. Another engagement truly did surprise me as I had been thinking about her during the night. Clara Brereton was engaged to Andrew Moreland. I wondered if they had met before and perhaps that was why she was in Sanditon. Or perhaps they barely met at the ball and decided already to marry. I truly hoped Andrew Moreland was more like Isaac Moreland and not like Thomas Moreland. I glanced at Lady Denham when Clara was brought up. She kept a stone-cold expression not showing happiness or detest with the news. I wondered if there was still animosity there, but Lady Denham never let on.

After church, we were whisked away back to Sanditon House by Lady Denham while the Prince Regent and Lady Susan decided to take a private carriage ride along the shore. We walked into the drawing room and were taken back by who stood in the room. Edward Denham, looking dapper as always, stood in front of the fireplace waiting for us.

“What is the meaning of this?” Lady Denham shouted. “Who let you into my home?”

“Aunt, hear me out,” he pleaded, rushing across the floor towards her. “I’m not here to cause a scene. I only wish to speak to you.”

“What could you possibly need to speak to me about?” she asked. “I want you off my property at an instant.”

A woman who no one noticed before stood from a chair, her back facing all of us. She turned around and that feeling of dread came rushing over me. I should have known it wasn’t going to be so easy. Mrs. Campion faced us with a conniving grin across her face. “Lady Denham, so nice to see you again,” she said, sounding more cunning than usual. “Miss Heywood.” She greeted me with such sarcasm in her tone. I knew something terrible was afoot. 

“Aunt, you remember Mrs. Campion,” Edward said, introducing the two who really only knew of each other in passing. “Well, there’s no reason to beat around the bush. Mrs. Campion and I are engaged.”

I gasped in disbelief and nearly stumbled from what he said.

“Engaged?” Lady Denham shouted. “Were you not engaged to Mr. Parker until last night? You move fast don’t you, dear?” Lady Denham laughed as if mocking her. 

“Truth is, Mrs. Campion and I have spent a great deal of time together in London these last few weeks. She came here last night to break things off with Mr. Parker.”

“I have come to enjoy the town of Sanditon and wish to do what I can to better the place,” Mrs. Campion declared. I took notice that she never said she enjoyed Edward Denham. After what she said about love being a myth, I wondered if she actually cared for Edward at all. Would it be wrong of me to warn Edward? Or would it be wiser to warn Eliza of Edward’s past? 

Alison and I listened as Edward and Eliza continued to spin their plans for Sanditon’s development. At first Lady Denham seemed indifferent to what they were saying, but as time went on, she seemed intrigued and wanted to know more of their plans. Eliza had money after all and was willing to spend it on the development of Sanditon. I suppose I should be happy about her involvement if it means good things for Sanditon.

“The first thing we plan to build is a donkey steed in your honor, Aunt,” Edward said. “We would love to show you where it will be erected if you’re interested in an afternoon with us.”

“I’d be delighted to hear more,” she said. 

“A Mr. Moreland here to see Miss Heywood,” a butler announced. 

Alison and I stood as Mr. Isaac Moreland walked into the room, removing his hat and bowing towards all of us. 

“Mr. Moreland, how wonderful to see you again,” Lady Denham greeted.

“And you, Lady Denham. I came to see if Miss Heywood is still interested in showing me around the town?” he asked.

“I almost forgot,” I said feeling horrible for forgetting. “Of course.”

“It appears we are all leaving,” Lady Denham announced heading towards the door while the rest of us followed her out. Eliza stood by the door waiting for me to come out even though Edward and Lady Denham were already boarding their carriage.

“Is Sidney not enough for you, Miss Heywood?” Eliza asked as I walked past her.

I gave her a confused expression. “I don’t understand your meaning.”

“You have one man pining over you while you court another,” she explained.

I laughed. “I assure you, I’m not courting any other man. Mr. Moreland is strictly interested in Sanditon as it appears you are as well. Although your newfound engagement to Edward Denham does raise a few eyebrows. Scraping the bottom of the barrel, perhaps?” I stepped past her and guided Alison with me to Mr. Moreland’s carriage. The more times I came in contact with Eliza Campion, the more I despised her. I tried to be kind, tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but no matter what I did, she found fault. I even stepped aside on two occasions so she could have Sidney. It wasn’t my fault he didn’t want to stay with her.

Mr. Moreland politely offered his hand to help both Alison and I inside the carriage before he joined us. We rode towards town while Edward and Eliza headed off in another direction with Lady Denham. I pointed out the bathing machines stored away on the beach when we went down on the beach and explained their purpose. We rode through town and Alison and I pointed out all the shops and buildings along the way. When we got to the Terrace, we left the carriage and walked around. Some of the houses had been taken up but a few still remained empty so we could go inside and look around before heading back to the carriage and back down by the beach. 

“Correct me if I’m wrong, Miss Heywood,” he began. “The buildings caught fire recently and Lady Denham called you in to come rebuild them, correct?”

“I suppose so,” I answered. “I think she had a different agenda than what she originally invited me here for that I wasn’t made aware of until we arrived.”

“Why exactly did she ask for you?” he wondered.

“I have asked myself that same question. Perhaps it was because I worked closely with Tom when he was in charge. Or it could just be that she felt the rebuild needed a woman’s touch. I truly don’t know. But I enjoyed the work and I’m forever grateful for all the men and women who poured their heart and soul into helping with the rebuild. Now if Sanditon is successful as a sea bathing community, we can continue to build further and make it even bigger and better than it is now.”

“Seems to me Sanditon has a lot to offer,” he said. “But I must ask, what does one gain from the success of Sanditon becoming a great sea bathing resort?”

“A great climate, a comfortable and welcoming community, new friendships and relationships to last a lifetime,” I answered. 

“I’m sure Lady Denham and even the Parker family who all invested in the development will gain monetarily for Sanditon’s success?” he wondered.

“I would think so. Why else invest if it’s not fruitful?”

He looked out on the horizon as if he was thinking hard. “You’ve done a great deal of work to develop the town. Do you gain anything? Or are you being taken advantage of by the Parker family and very likely Lady Denham?” 

I was shocked by his question. It wasn’t what I was expecting from him. “I don’t wish to gain anything. I’m only doing what I can to better the place for everyone else.”

“Surely you have to gain something. Why else do what you’ve done?” he wondered.

“If you’re asking if I’m getting any monetary compensation, I don’t wish to make money off of Sanditon. I wish for Sanditon to be enjoyed by everyone. What I gained is far more precious than money.”

“And what was that?” he asked curiously.

“Love. I fell in love with Sidney here in Sanditon. I believe it’s what happens when one visits Sanditon. They first fall in love with its charm and beauty and it opens up their heart to find love where they least expect it. It happened to me, to Alison here, to Esther, I would say even Clara Brereton. You could even argue that the same thing happened to the men. Unlike you and your brothers, Mr. Parker, Mr. Crowe, and Lord Babington did not come to Sanditon looking for love. They weren’t even looking for brides. They were looking for entertainment, but they found something else entirely.”

“What an interesting concept. If you sold Sanditon as a place to find love, you’d have flocks of people lining up.”

I half smiled at his comment. I was still bothered by his questions. Alison could tell since she pulled my hand into her lap to squeeze my hand. I never felt like I was being taken advantage of. My goal for Sanditon had nothing to do with money. I just wanted Sanditon to be prosperous for all the people who put so much into it. 

We pulled up in front of Sanditon House and Mr. Moreland didn’t move to get out. He stared at the ground as if deep in thought. “Miss Heywood, I hope I didn’t offend you by my questions. I’m truly curious about the town and community of Sanditon and wondering what I could do to make it a better place. Everyone talks so highly of Sanditon and now that the Prince Regent, himself, has visited, it makes me curious what all it has to offer. You seem to be the most knowledgeable of its charm.”

“I only speak from my heart. Sanditon is a wonderful place. I consider it my home now.”

“I do too,” Alison agreed, speaking for the first time all afternoon. “I usually let Charlotte handle all the promotional stuff about Sanditon. I have truly fallen in love with the place and Mr. Crowe has decided to stay. We plan to buy a home and remain here.”

I turned towards her with my mouth hanging open. “You never told me,” I said.

“We discussed it last night at the ball. He wanted to know what I thought of the idea and of course I told him I would love to stay. He’s planning to sell his estate outside of London and find something suitable for us here. If he sells his estate, he plans to help Sidney out with the debt as well.”

I hugged her and wanted to cry from hearing her words. “What wonderful news.”

Mr. Moreland exited the carriage and waited for me and Alison to wish to get out. “I want to thank you for your kindness in showing me around Sanditon and giving me some history of the town. It was very enlightening.”

I curtsied. “Thank you for allowing me to give you a tour.”

Alison and I started to walk towards the door, but then I remembered something I wished to ask him. I left Alison’s side and walked back towards Mr. Moreland who was just about to get back in the carriage.

“Mr. Moreland,” I called out. He stopped and turned back around with a questioning expression. “I’m curious about the engagement between your brother Andrew and Clara Brereton. Is this a new development or have they known each other long?” He smirked and turned his head to one side like he was questioning my intent. “I know it’s none of my concern. I’m just curious. Clara and I were close at one time before she plotted with Edward Denham to take advantage of Lady Denham. Your brother Andrew seems rather shy and reserved. I would hope she isn’t taking advantage of him as well.”

He smirked. “Weren’t you telling me last night that Clara Brereton was an eligible woman I should consider for a bride?”

“Quite frankly, I don’t believe any of the women I spoke of last night would be suitable for you. I’m afraid all the ones suitable are already married or engaged. But if I meet anyone new, I’ll be sure to let you know.”

He nodded his head with a chuckle before answering my original question. “I truly don’t know much. I don’t believe they knew each other until last night. I woke up this morning to the news of their engagement. But I appreciate the information. I will dig a little deeper before my brother goes through with something harmful.”

“I would do the same for one of my siblings,” I said. “Being the eldest child comes with responsibilities.”

He laughed and nodded his head. “That it does, Miss Heywood.”

I watched as he left before joining Alison back in the house. Mrs. Campion and Edward Denham were still at the house and now joining us for dinner. Lady Denham seemed thrilled with the new plans and developments Eliza and Edward had shown her. As much as Lady Denham seemed happy to have Edward back in her life, I still couldn’t get over the feeling that something was strange about his return at the same time as Clara and both show up in Sanditon engaged. Glances towards Lady Susan told me she had some concerns as well, but she didn’t say anything to their face.

The following day, Alison and I readied for the festivities of Michaelmas. We all headed to church for a Michaelmas Day reading, before returning to the house to celebrate. Lady Denham went all out for the day. We spent most of the morning decorating with Lady Susan and a few of her other guests, while the Prince Regent and Lady Denham watched or rather directed. Lord Babington and Esther joined us in the midafternoon with Mr. Crowe in tow. Alison was overjoyed to have him be joining us. It was great fun and gave us something exciting to do. I missed Sidney, but I knew he was with his family celebrating as well. I was hopeful in a few short years I would also be celebrating with them. When it was time for the Michaelmas Feast, Edward Denham, with Eliza on his arm also joined us. The room grew silent as they walked in. It was rather uncomfortable, but Lady Denham insisted they take their seats with the rest of us. Esther looked far too uncomfortable being in the same room with Edward. Perhaps just as uncomfortable as I felt being at the same table with Eliza Campion. 

“Mrs. Campion,” Lady Susan began. “I hear you and Edward Denham are engaged. What brought this new development on?”

Eliza was quiet for a moment, selecting her words carefully. “Edward and I had the pleasure of getting to know each other better in London and things sort of just happened. We both have a common goal in mind.”

“And what goal is that, might I ask?” Lady Susan wondered.

“To develop Sanditon bigger and better, of course,” Edward answered for Eliza raising his glass for a toast. 

“Here, here!” Lady Denham shouted raising her own glass. We all followed and raised our own glasses for a toast even if it was awkward and a little ill-timed. 

After we were done eating, Esther and Lord Babington announced they were leaving. Lady Denham insisted they stay for conversation, but Lord Babington expressed his concern for Esther’s health and wanted to get her home. I think most of us knew they wanted to leave because of the awkwardness of being in the same room with Edward and Eliza. Esther took my hand and had me walk with her outside while Lord Babington spoke privately with the Prince Regent for a moment. 

“Charlotte, you have to know whatever it is Edward and Eliza have going on is not real,” Esther said with great concern.

“I know. Something is rather suspicious about all of this. Even seeing Clara who is now engaged to one of the Moreland men has me questioning what’s going on,” I said.

“They are clearly manipulating my aunt. I’m not entirely sure why, but it’s rather obvious. I don’t think she will listen to anyone but you. Please talk to her after they leave and convince her she’s making a mistake by bringing him back into her life.”

“I’ll do my best, but I don’t know if she will listen to me. We haven’t been on the greatest of terms lately with her blatant disregard for Sidney.”

“You have to try.” I nodded my head in agreement. She gave me a quick hug before climbing into the waiting carriage. 

Lord Babington appeared a moment later and stopped at my side. “Something doesn’t sit right with all of this,” he said almost as if he was talking to himself rather than me.

“I would have to agree with you.”

He sighed before reaching into his pocket. “Sidney asked me to give this to you,” he said handing me a letter. I took it from his hand before curtsying. He climbed into the carriage and left with Esther. I opened the letter and read it in the moonlight.

My dearest Charlotte,

I have been dreading this letter, but the time has come. I will be leaving for London tomorrow for my extended time away in Antigua. I wish I didn’t have to leave you, but it’s the only way. Please meet me at the cove in the morning so we can have a proper parting. 

With all my love,

Sidney

Tears streamed down my face uncontrollably and I struggled to breathe normally. I knew it was going to happen soon. I had prepared myself for the separation. But now knowing he was leaving so soon overwhelmed me. He never said when he planned to leave. I thought we’d have more time. I couldn’t bear it. 

I tried to take some deep breaths before wiping my face and walking back into the house. I hid my pain the best I could before excusing myself to my room. Alison was the only one in the room who knew something was not right. She stayed close to Mr. Crowe, though, enjoying her time with him. 

I cried myself to sleep and by morning, I had decided to pull myself together and not cry in front of Sidney. He needed me to be strong. He needed to know I was going to be alright without him. I had to be strong for him.

I dressed quickly and walked from Sanditon House to the cove like I had done plenty of times before. I reached the clifftop and could see Sidney sitting on a rock staring out at the water crashing in and out of the ocean. I had to really fight the tears back as I walked down the embankment to where he was. He heard me coming and quickly jumped to his feet and pulled me close to him. We didn’t speak for a moment, just stared into each other’s eyes, breathing heavily and trying hard not to lose control.

“No Alison to escort you today?” he asked trying to make light of the situation.

“I didn’t tell her I was coming.”

He sighed and looked down at our entwined fingers. “I wish I didn’t have to leave.”

“I thought we’d have a little more time before you decided to go,” I admitted.

“The sooner I go, the sooner I can come back,” he explained. 

“I’ve decided I’m going to ask Mary if I can stay with them until your return. I can’t bring myself to stay with Lady Denham another day.”

He chuckled. “I’m sure Mary will love having you.”

He reached up and gently touched the necklace around my neck he had given me. I looked at him with so much sadness, I couldn’t help it. My heart was breaking. “I have a going away gift for you,” he said.

“I don’t need gifts, Sidney.”

“Humor me, please. It makes me feel better knowing you have something to remember me with.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a simple gold ring with turquoise stones around a center ruby. My breath caught in my chest as I stared at it. “It’s another piece of my mothers. My father gave it to her when he had to leave for a while. It’s called the forget-me-not ring. I thought it rather fitting.” He slipped it on my finger and held my hands in his while he admired it on my finger. 

“I have something for you too,” I said. I unfolded a handkerchief and pulled out the gold compass that once belonged to my father. I had always loved staring at the needle spinning around when I spun as a little girl. When I got older, he gave it to me. I thought it was such a wonderful gift, but more than likely he gave it to me because he had gotten a new one. I wanted Sidney to have it now. I handed it to him but felt a little silly about it compared to the gift he had given me. 

“It’s a compass,” I explained hesitantly.

He smiled and nodded his head before meeting my eyes with his. “So I can find my way back to you?” he asked.

“Something like that,” I answered nervously. He sighed and pulled me into his arms, crushing me against his chest and wrapping his arms around me. I allowed him to hold me, breathing in the familiar scent of him, willing it to my memory so I wouldn’t forget it. 

“It’s perfect,” he said breathing heavily against me and losing his control.

“I’ll write to you every day,” I promised. 

“I will too.”

“I’ll be here waiting for your return. I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll wait.”

“I promise I won’t be gone longer than two years. If I still haven’t come up with the money, I have every intention of returning and begging Lady Denham to let us marry. Perhaps after two years, she will finally give in.”

“I’ll continue to try to wear her down,” I said with a giggle against his chest.

He sighed again and tightened his hold around me. “How can I possibly say goodbye to you again?”

“Don’t,” I said looking up at him. “Don’t say goodbye. Just tell me you love me, and we will see each other again very soon.” I was beginning to lose my control. We looked into each other’s eyes for a long time before he leaned down and crushed my lips with his. The cold feel of his lips mixed with the warm breath and feel of his tongue were intoxicating. All sense was lost in that kiss. The buildup over the last few days to kiss him had all come out in this earth-shattering kiss. Our lips moved against each other, gentle at first but more urgent and desperate as we continued. The thought of breaking apart was unbearable for both of us. The moment he stopped kissing me, meant he was closer to leaving me. I let out a small whimper when he did finally break away from my lips. 

His forehead leaned against mine and his breathing was shallow and shaky. “I love you, Charlotte,” he breathed.

“I love you,” I cried beginning to crack and not able to hold it in any longer. 

He gave me one last quick kiss on my forehead before getting on his horse and riding away. I broke down crying after he was out of sight and fell to the cold sand. I knew this was coming, but I didn’t realize it was going to hurt so badly. This goodbye hurt far worse than the one we had when he thought he had to marry Mrs. Campion. Everything inside of me was screaming to follow after him and not allow him to leave without me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As for the gifts, you all know I love to do research. These were common things to give as gifts. Locks of hair were also common gifts, but I didn't feel like that was something Charlotte or Sidney would do.
> 
> Don't forget to vote in the Sanditon Survival Book Club Fanfic Awards on Facebook. There's new categories up for this round of voting and some incredible stories in each category. Also, thank you to whoever nominated me. I feel truly blessed to have such a supportive fandom.


	31. Heraclitus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy. So much is going on in our world right now. It's quite scary.

~Charlotte~

I laid on the cold, wet sand for what seemed like forever. My world felt like it was coming to an end. My heart hurt. I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. I had to keep telling myself this wasn’t going to be forever. I had to keep going. I had to face each day knowing it was one day closer to Sidney returning. As difficult as it might be, I had to continue living. 

With a heavy sigh, I pulled myself off the sand and stumbled back up the embankment to walk back to Sanditon House. When I arrived, Lady Susan and the Prince Regent were preparing to leave. 

“Charlotte,” Lady Susan gasped. “What’s happened to you?” 

“Sidney left for London. He will leave for Antigua in a few days.”

She took my hands in hers and gave me a sympathetic look. “I will check in on him when I return to London. You both have weathered bigger storms. This one shouldn’t be any different.”

I tried to smile. “This seems like the biggest storm we’ve had to face.”

“Don’t lose hope, Charlotte. I’m confident everything will work out,” she assured. Her words gave me little comfort. I swallowed against the lump in my throat and nodded my head, trying my best to not show how upset I was. 

Lady Denham and Alison joined me outside as Lady Susan and the Prince Regent came to give their goodbyes. They both looked me up and down; Alison with a look of understanding and Lady Denham with a look of disgust.

“Lady Denham, you have been a wonderful host. We appreciate your hospitality dearly,” Lady Susan said.

“I’m happy to oblige,” Lady Denham said.

The Prince Regent looked at me with questioning eyes. I’m sure I looked a fright. “Miss Heywood, you have given me a great deal to think over. I have come to enjoy my time here in Sanditon and wish to return in the near future. I have decided I appreciate your notion of building a playhouse, but I think it needs to be a proper theatre. I have decided to invest in your ideas and hope to return for the first ever Sanditon Theatre production. You are a true visionary, which has surprised me entirely, but I am greatly intrigued to see what else you can accomplish. Perhaps you will write the first play.”

I glanced at Alison and then Lady Susan who both had large grins on their face. As sad as I was, this gave me a small glimmer of happiness. People from all over would come to see plays and spend their holidays in Sanditon. “Thank you.” I didn’t know what else to say. I hadn’t expected anything. It was enough he came to visit and enticed plenty of visitors to follow.

He nodded his head towards all of us before boarding his carriage. Lady Susan said goodbye one last time before joining him in the carriage and driving away. 

As soon as they were out of sight, Lady Denham began rambling on. I didn’t listen and instead left to head back inside. I went straight to my room and crawled under the covers. Not a soul bothered me the entire day, which I was grateful for. I spent the day crying, staring blankly at the wall, sleeping, or simply dreaming of chasing after Sidney and not allowing him to leave. My anger towards Lady Denham only grew with every thought going through my mind. 

The next day, I didn’t wish to get up. A tray of food was brought in, but food had little interest for me. Alison tried to crawl in bed with me to talk and encourage me to get up, but I rolled over and didn’t talk to her. Later in the day Mary and Diana came by and tried to encourage me to get up saying they had a gift for me. I asked the servant to tell them to leave it downstairs and ask them to leave. I had every intention of asking to stay at Trafalgar House with them, but right now I couldn’t bring myself to leave the bed. I just wanted to be left alone.

In the evening, I could hear Alison and Mr. Crowe downstairs with Lady Denham, which made me even more upset and resentful. I was happy for my sister, truly I was. I liked that she found happiness with Mr. Crowe. What bothered me was how accepting Lady Denham was. Why couldn’t she be as accepting to Sidney?

The following day was much the same. Alison attempted to get me out of bed to go into town with her, but I refused. Even Lady Denham tried to coerce me from my room with her brash and demeaning way of words. 

Days of this went by. I had no interest in doing anything but staying in bed. 

Georgiana arrived after a week of being cooped up in my room with my sorrow. I asked her to leave at first, but she insisted she stay. 

“I know exactly how you feel,” she said sitting down on the bed with me. “When I lost Otis, I thought I’d never leave my bed again. I wanted to waste away to nothing. I felt entirely alone and lost.”

For the first time, I felt like someone understood. I sat up slightly in the bed and wiped the fresh tears away from my face. “I suppose I forgot you went through a separation as well. How did you overcome it?”

“Arthur Parker helped, if you can believe it,” she said. “He is such a good friend and even though I try to hide it, he makes me laugh. I think that’s what you need; someone to make you laugh and bring some enjoyment back into your life. At least for you, Sidney will come back. I’m not so sure about Otis. But I have to keep going.”

“I feel like I’m shattering into a thousand pieces,” I explained with fresh tears streaming down my face. I don't understand why this separation is so different than when I went back to Willingden.

She placed her hand on mine and squeezed affectionately. “I know. It's because you love him. I remember that feeling well. It’s unbearable at times. Other times it won’t hurt quite as bad.”

“I just want to sleep and pretend like it’s not real.”

“You do want to be healthy and happy when he returns, don’t you?” she asked.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Of course, I do.”

“Then no more sleeping during the day. It’s time to get up and get dressed. We have places to go and things to see.”

I groaned. “I don’t know if I want to go anywhere. I can't be around people right now.”

“I’m not taking no for an answer. Now get up. There’s a dashing young man waiting downstairs to see you,” she said. 

“Who?” I asked. Surely it couldn’t be Sidney. Who else would be downstairs waiting?

She grinned deviously. “You will have to get up to see who it is.”

“Georgiana, I don’t wish to see anyone. I just want to stay here.”

“You will want to see this one. I promise,” she said urging me further to get out of bed. “Now get up.”

Even though I didn’t want to get up, I obliged and put myself back together. Talking to Georgiana did help a little, but I still didn’t feel whole. If we were going into town, I wanted to get a letter sent to Sidney. Before going downstairs, I wrote out a quick letter to him expressing how much I missed him already. How much I couldn’t wait for us to be married and how I was going to take these two years to plan and prepare for the perfect wedding that would suit us. I also told him about the unusual engagement of Sir Edward Denham and Eliza Campion who were now in Lady Denham’s good graces and planning to spend plenty of money on developing Sanditon further. I expressed how Lord and Lady Babington were just as concerned about the validity of their plans as I was. There was still so much I wanted to say, but Georgiana was already calling from the bottom of the stairs. I quickly folded the paper up and stuck it my reticule before heading downstairs. At least the one good thing about this was being able to send a letter. Perhaps there would even be a letter from him already. 

I walked down the stairs to see the back of Arthur standing with Georgiana at the bottom of the steps. Did Georgiana truly refer to Arthur as a dashing young man waiting to see me? Why would Arthur want to see me? When Georgiana saw me coming, she tapped Arthur on the shoulder. He turned around revealing a small black and white puppy in his arms. I gasped when I saw it. I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

“I told you there was a dashing young man waiting to see you,” Georgiana said, grabbing my hand and pulling me closer. Arthur had quite the excited grin on his face as I reached out to pet the puppy on the head. 

“Where did he come from?” I wondered. “Whose is he?”

“He’s yours, silly,” Arthur said. 

“Mine?” I questioned curiously. “I don't understand.”

“He’s from Sidney,” Georgiana explained. “He had him sent here from London with specific directions to bring him to you.”

“He thought it might help to have something to hold close while he is away,” Arthur added.

“Sounds like a ridiculous nuisance, if you ask me,” Lady Denham said from the other side of the room. “A dog in Sanditon House? Preposterous!” 

“You won’t need to worry, Lady Denham,” I said. “I don’t plan to stay much longer so the puppy won’t be a nuisance.”

“What do you mean you don’t plan to stay much longer?” she wondered.

“I’ve decided it would be more appropriate to stay with the Parker family. I am going to be one of them after all.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Charlotte. Trafalgar House is already overflowing with people. Why on earth would you want to stay there?”

I took the puppy in my arms and held him close to my chest, smiling down at him and falling in love with him instantly. “Perhaps it’s because I feel more welcome with the Parkers than I do with the Denhams.”

“Shall we go?” Georgiana asked leading the way towards the door. 

“Where’s Alison?” I asked.

“She’s at the Babington home visiting with Mr. Crowe,” Georgiana explained. 

“Of course, she is,” I said with a smile. “She is going to love this little guy just as much as I do.”

“He’s easy to fall in love with, that’s for sure,” Arthur added.

We walked out the door to see Edward Denham and Eliza Campion arriving with another gentleman I didn’t recognize. I didn’t stick around to see who it was or find out why they were there. I simply wasn’t interested. 

“Jolly good,” Arthur laughed as soon as we were away from the house. “I do enjoy how you ladies put Lady Denham in her place.”

“She infuriates me to no end. She’s entirely the reason Sidney and I are separated right now,” I said.

“And Tom,” Arthur added. I hadn’t really thought about it, but he was right. Tom was just as much to blame. How could I forget Sidney was doing all this to save his brother from his blunder? “I do wish there was more I could do. I’ve supplied Sidney with the bulk of my inheritance to get him to Antigua and invest in whatever new business venture his friend from there has in mind. I do hope it works out for all our sakes.”

“What are you going to name your puppy?” Georgiana wondered while changing the subject, which I was entirely grateful for. 

There was only one name that came to mind. “Sidney.”

“Sidney?” Georgiana shouted. “That’s a terrible name for a dog. What are you going to do when he returns? Both Sidney and the dog will be so confused about which one of them you are speaking to.”

I was crushed when she said it was a terrible name, but she did make a good point. “What would you suggest then?” 

“Dash? No, how about Jack? Or Tippy?” Georgiana named off.

“What about Prince?” Arthur suggested. “Or perhaps name him after a place like Brighton or Oxford.”

“I have the perfect name,” I announced. “Heraclitus.”

Both Georgiana and Arthur stopped from walking and gave each other confused expressions before looking at me with the same confusion. “What does it mean?” Georgiana asked.

“It’s something only Sidney and I would understand. I want to keep it that way, if you don’t mind?” I explained.

“Heraclitus it is!” Arthur announced jubilantly. 

I held the puppy close, feeling as if it was Sidney who I held close in my arms. “Where exactly are we going?” I wondered.

“In town for a special birthday party,” Georgiana explained.

We walked the rest of the way into town and came to Trafalgar House where Mary and Tom were waiting with the children. They had quite the spread set up of food and treats with tea. They welcomed me wholeheartedly into their home and family celebration for Jenny’s birthday party. 

What I noticed first when walking in was Sidney’s portrait missing from the wall. I stared at the blank spot and couldn’t move. “Where is the portrait?” I asked Mary feeling tears begin to fill my eyes. Even though it didn’t resemble him very well, it still reminded me of him and I had looked forward to coming here just to see it. 

“It’s at Lady Denham’s home,” Mary explained with a confused expression.

“Don’t tell me you never opened the gift we brought you?” Diana asked.

“I suppose I never did.” 

Mary tucked her arm around mine. “Dear Charlotte, I have gifted you that portrait. I thought you might appreciate it while you're separated.”

“It’s been at Lady Denham’s all this time?”

“See what I mean about getting up and living?” Georgiana asked. “You miss out on a lot when you waste away in bed.” 

I laughed. “I suppose you are right. I’ll have to be better about getting out of bed and welcoming guests who bring gifts.”

We laughed and played all through the day celebrating Jenny. The children loved Heraclitus and begged Tom and Mary for a puppy of their own. While everyone was still busily celebrating Jenny, I slipped away to finish my letter to Sidney. I thanked him for the most wonderful gift of Heraclitus and how the children wanted a puppy of their own now. I told him not to worry about us; Georgiana and I would take care of each other while he was away. I truly believed I was going to be alright with him gone. I didn’t like being parted, but I was determined to be happy while he was away. I hoped he was feeling the same.

“Everything alright, dear?” Mary asked coming into the room I had hidden away in.

“Of course. I’m just finishing up a letter to Sidney. I want to get it in the post before the end of the day.”

She sat down next to me and took my hands in hers. “Tom and I have had many separations because of business and other reasons. Before we could marry, my father insisted he establish himself and have a good income. It was heartbreaking to be apart. We had a long engagement while Tom did everything he could to prove worthy of my father. I suppose it’s why he continues to work hard and overdo his ambitions. He always feels the need to be bigger and better than before.”

“How is Tom?” I wondered.

“He was quite upset with how things were handled, but he’s adjusting to the changes. He does have a great amount of guilt for what he’s put his family through and wishes to make it up to all of us somehow. He feels terrible that there wasn’t more he could do for you and Sidney before he had to leave. He has plans to continue developing Sanditon once he can find investors to try and build our family fortune again. He feels entirely responsible for all of our family struggles.”

“The Prince Regent plans to invest in an actual theatre here in Sanditon. He wishes to visit often. A regular visit from the Prince Regent will bring in plenty of new patrons.”

“That’s wonderful news!” Mary exclaimed. “Does Tom know?”

“I don’t believe so,” I said. “The Prince Regent told me right as he was leaving. I haven’t spoken to anyone since then.”

“I’m sure Tom will be thrilled to hear the news. We should go tell him.”

I followed Mary back into the front room where the children were playing and giggling with Heraclitus on the floor. 

“Mary, Charlotte,” Tom said standing from the floor and chuckling to himself. “I think it’s safe to say I must make a trip to London to find a puppy for our children.”

“Tom!” Mary scolded. “You can’t be serious. It’s already enough to take care of the children. We don’t have time for a puppy as well.”

“What if Heraclitus was here for them to play with?” I asked.

The room was quiet, other than the children who were oblivious to anything but the puppy. “Whatever do you mean, Charlotte?” Mary asked.

I took a deep breath and looked around at everyone’s curious faces. “I was hoping to ask, if you wouldn’t mind, if I stayed here with all of you while I wait for Sidney to return?” There wasn’t a sound in the room. Even the children had stopped playing and were now listening. “I realize it’s already quite crowded here, but I don’t feel welcome with Lady Denham any longer and wish to stay here instead if you’ll have me.”

Mary smiled and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. “Of course, we will have you. We’d be happy to have you. You’re family, Charlotte.”

“Absolutely!” Tom proclaimed loudly. “I sure do miss having my record keeper.”

“Family sticks together,” Diana added.

“Yes it does,” Arthur said. “And Miss Lambe is our family as well.” I watched as Georgiana leaned into Arthur and smiled. She needed family connection just as much as I did.

“We will need to make some arrangements beforehand. Could you wait until the end of the week?”

A part of me dreaded having to go back to Lady Denham’s, but if I knew it was only for a few days, I decided I could manage. I sat down next to Georgiana and continued to watch the children play with Heraclitus while Mary served up cake. Coming here was exactly what I needed to feel better. 

Once back at Sanditon House, I found the portrait wrapped with a white sheet and brought it up to my room. I pulled the sheet off and leaned it against the wall and sat in front of it for most of the evening with little Heraclitus in my lap. Staring at the portrait gave me a sense of closeness to Sidney. I treasured the painting and was entirely grateful for the Parker family for not only gifting it to me, but for being entirely welcoming. 

Days went by. The weather had changed quite drastically. The chilly mornings were now almost unbearably frigid. On occasion we would get a nice day, but we had more rainy days than sunny. I spent most of my time with Alison and Georgiana while we played with Heraclitus. On rainy days we spent time with Esther or in town with the Parker family. I had tea with Mrs. Stringer on occasion. I did enjoy our talks on architecture. She was such a proper woman, sometimes it was hard to believe she married Mr. Stringer. When seeing them together, though I understood why. They were a perfect match in so many ways. Mr. Crowe had to go to London for business, so Alison felt the sting of being separated as well, although not nearly as deep a sting as mine was. We supported each other and helped plan out her wedding. Mother and Father had every intention of Alison coming home to be wed, as it was customary to be wed in the bride’s hometown. Even if it was customary, I had every intention of marrying in Sanditon. This was my home now. Father would have to get over his rule about not going more than five miles from home if he wanted to attend his eldest daughter’s wedding. I had made up my mind, and he of all people knew there wasn’t any changing my mind.

I went into town every day to drop off a letter for Sidney and typically picked up one of my own from him. Most of the letters from Sidney were of his business dealings in London. Apparently, he had quite a bit to prepare there with his importing and exporting business before his long departure. He was also tasked with collecting all personal items from the Parker family’s London home to be sent to Sanditon. He loved the name I picked out for little Heraclitus and thought it very fitting. He asked me to stay clear from Mrs. Campion and Edward Denham, which I had done a good job doing. I had even gotten good at avoiding Lady Denham. Alison still remained in her good graces, but I had become the outcast. Mary had promised me a room at Trafalgar House at the end of the week, but with all their belongings arriving by freight, she had gotten busy and neglected to have a room set up. She apologized profusely, but I assured her a few more days was not the end of the world. I didn’t mind waiting even though all my belongings were pack and ready to go.

Diana and Arthur had taken a trip to London to see to their last bit of belongings, thinking Sidney wouldn’t remember certain things without their help. I think part of their decision to travel to London was to see the doctor they spoke so highly of. I almost thought about asking if I could go with them, but if I did it meant yet another painful goodbye. I couldn’t do that to Sidney again. 

On a particularly warm day, I picked up a letter from the post and walked down on the beach with Heraclitus. I settled into the sand and placed the puppy in my lap while I opened the letter. 

My dearest Charlotte,

Words cannot express how much I miss you. I think about you every moment of every day. What is this affliction that has consumed my every breath? My life is yours alone. I live and breathe for your love. The next two years can’t come quick enough. I dream of holding you in my arms again. I dream of our marriage and our future together. These last weeks have been unbearable without you. I have taken up fighting again, simply to pass the time and relieve some tension. Please don't think badly of me for it. I ask myself everyday why I didn’t ask you to come with me; propriety or not. I shouldn’t have come alone. Now I fear it’s too late. I board a ship in two days for Antigua. I promise I will continue to write, but with mail traveling across seas, I can’t imagine you’ll receive letters on a timely manner. Please don’t worry if you don’t get a letter for a month or two. It only means the ships are slow. 

How is Sanditon? I trust everyone is in good health. I half expected to see Babbers back here in London by now, but a letter from him stated they plan to stay a little while longer since Esther has been so ill during her pregnancy. He doesn’t think it safe to move her just yet. Have you checked in on them? I’m sure you have. I’m not sure why I even ask such a question. 

How is Georgiana? Ornery as ever, I’m sure. Please tell her I discovered Otis Molyneux is on a Navy ship at the moment and is unable to receive letters. She can send them to my business overseer here in London if she would like. He has been instructed to continue watching and waiting for his safe return to deliver all of Georgiana’s letters. 

Crowe has been in town attempting to sell his father’s home, but to no avail. He has good intentions to help pay the debt, but with no one willing to buy I’m not sure when or if he will be able to help much. I do believe he wishes to set up a home in Sanditon for him and Alison. I despise asking him to pay Lady Denham with money he has intended for their future on my sake. I’m sure you feel the same way. Perhaps you and Alison can talk some sense into him when he returns?

How is Lady Denham? Have Edward and Eliza completely manipulated her? I’m surprised Lady D has allowed them into her life again. Although, I guess it’s not quite a mystery when you think about Lady Denham’s obsession with wealth. I’m sure Mrs. Campion waving her fortune in front of her was quite enticing. 

Enough about them. How is little Heraclitus? I’m sure he’s not so little anymore. I am pleased he’s given you so much comfort. I just hope when I return, he doesn’t think me a scoundrel trying to take his owner away from him. It may take some time to get acquainted with him to accept me into your life.

I suppose this letter has gotten a little long. Please tell me all about Mr. Crowe and Alison’s wedding when it happens. Since I won’t be there for the Babington christening, you’ll have to write to me all about that as well. Keep me informed on all that happens in Sanditon. I want to know everything, so I feel as if I’m actually there experiencing every aspect of your day with you.

With all my love,

Sidney

I took a deep breath and wiped the tears away from my face. As much comfort as his letters brought me, they also brought so much heartache and turmoil. He has no idea how many times I’d thought about boarding the coach to London to find him and set sail for Antigua with him. It was a comfort to know he considered I do the same thing.

As I started to get up from the sand, Heraclitus leaped out of my lap and chased after a bird, barking and causing a ruckus. I chased after him and called for him to come back, but he kept running farther and farther away, causing me to cry hysterically. 

Out of the rocks, a man confronted Heraclitus and scooped him up into his arms. I ran across the sand and came upon Mr. Isaac Moreland holding Heraclitus. 

I breathlessly stopped in front of him and took Heraclitus from his arms. “Thank you, Mr. Moreland.”

“Not a problem, Miss Heywood,” he said kindly. “Perhaps it’s time you get your little dog a lead?”

“Perhaps you’re right,” I agreed.

“Who is your little friend?” he wondered, reaching out and rubbing my puppy’s head. 

“This is Heraclitus,” I said, holding him up closer to my face.

“If you do not hope, you will not find that which is not hoped for; since it is difficult to discover and impossible to attain,” he said proudly.

I stared at him curiously. “You know Heraclitus?”

“A little,” he admitted with a grin. “It appears you know him as well.”

“Probably more than I should.”

“Is that the reason for the name?”

“No,” I answered slowly. “It’s a long story. One I’m sure would bore you.”

“I have nowhere to be and know very few in Sanditon. I think I might appreciate the company. Perhaps we can walk into town and find a store to buy a lead for little Heraclitus here while you tell me the story,” he suggested.

“Of course,” I agreed. 

We began walking across the beach slowly and silently. “About this name?” he wondered.

“It’s…” I paused thinking on if I wanted to let him in on the story. “I suppose it’s a special meaning between me and Sidney.”

He nodded his head and chuckled under his breath. “Not so much a long story, but rather a private story.”

“Precisely.”

“Well, I suppose I don’t need to know the origin of his name after all,” he said.

“I thought you and your family were leaving right after the Prince Regent’s visit. It’s been days since he’s left.”

He sighed and looked out on the horizon. “With my brother Andrew now engaged to Clara Brereton, we will remain here until they are wed.”

“Did you ever discover why they were engaged so quickly? Did they know each other previously?”

“Turns out they met the night of the ball and my brother was so smitten he proposed on the spot,” he explained. “Andrew has always been the pleaser, doing everything our father requests of him. Father wanted up to find wives. Andrew found a wife. Our father couldn’t be more pleased and reminds the rest of us daily to be more like Andrew. It’s quite insufferable. Which is why I find myself on the beach this afternoon to find some quiet. Instead I found a barking dog.”

“I do apologize if he disturbed you,” I said feeling horrible.

“Not at all. I actually appreciate the distraction.”

“Any luck on a bride of your own?” I wondered.

“I feel as if that’s an impossible task. Like you said, all the good ones have been chosen already.”

“Perhaps you’ll have more luck in London. There is a party of some sort every night and plenty of women to choose from.”

“I suppose time will tell,” he answered. 

We walked the rest of the way silently and came to the familiar alleyway I took often. When I looked down the dark alley, I saw Edward and Clara in what appeared to be a heated conversation. I grabbed Mr. Moreland by the arm and pulled him back so as to hide from the two of them. I listened to their conversation while Mr. Moreland studied me curiously. I did my best to explain with a nod of my head and pointing out down the alley.

“What do you mean you’re engaged?” Edward asked of Clara.

“I had no choice. Thankfully I found someone who would engage themselves to me on the spot of our first meeting,” Clara explained.

“That’s preposterous. Why on earth would you do such a thing?” Edward wondered.

“I might ask you the same thing. Rumors are spreading like wildfire you engaged yourself to the richest woman in all of England,” Clara countered.

“It’s simply a business arrangement. That is all.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Clara wondered.

“She wants revenge on Charlotte. I want Lady Denham’s fortune,” Edward explained.

“You’ve already tried to gain her fortune. What makes you think you’ll be successful this time?”

“I already have,” Edward said with a chuckle. “She’s already changed her will right in front of me. She adores Eliza and is right proud of my choice of bride. She believes with the combined fortunes and joined efforts we can build Sanditon bigger and better than any town in England. Everyone will be flocking like birds to come here.”

“Since when do you care about Sanditon?” Clara asked.

“I don’t care a fig about Sanditon,” he stated harshly. “I care about getting my hands on what is rightfully mine. I will take any means possible to make it happen.”

“And how long do you plan to pretend to be engaged while you wait for our aunt’s death?”

“Eliza and I have an understanding. We plan to have a long engagement while she travels to visit a sick relative. What she truly plans to do is travel to Antigua where Sidney Parker is and try to win him back. All while I’m here taking care of our ailing aunt. If she's still not gone when Eliza and Sidney return, I will be the heartbroken nephew who only wishes for comfort from dear old aunt.”

“You can’t be serious?” Clara said. The rage inside of me was building exponentially. I wanted to ring Eliza’s neck. I should have known this engagement they had wasn’t true. 

“I assure you, it’s every bit truth. Everything is falling into place just as we planned.”

“Well, I suppose I should wish you every happiness.” It sounded as if Clara started to walk away but Edward pulled her back. 

“You haven’t answered my question. Why are you engaged to a man you barely know?” he asked.

I could hear Clara breathing heavier as if she was trying not to cry. “Like I said, I don’t have a choice. If I don’t marry as quick as I can, I’ll be ruined for life.”

I knew instantly what she meant. “Are you? You’re with child?” Edward said catching on. “With my child?”

I could hear her crying and as if Edward pulled her close to him. “I have to marry someone.”

“Marry me,” Edward blurted. 

“I can’t. You’re already engaged. Did you forget that?” she shouted.

“Not truly. In time it’ll be over.”

“I don’t have time to wait, Edward. This child is not going to sit inside of me waiting for our aunt to die so you can collect your inheritance,” Clara scolded.

“I’ll figure something out,” Edward said. “I’m not about to let you marry yourself to someone else when you’re carrying my child.”

“At least with Andrew I’ll have protection. My child will have everything he desires in life. I won’t have to worry about anything.”

“You won’t have to worry about anything with me either. I’ll make this right. I’ll send you away to have the baby and as soon as I collect the inheritance, I’ll come collect you and our child. We will marry in Scotland and start a new life away from this retched place.”

“You’ll hide me away like a harlot for ten years while we wait for your gallant return,” Clara chided. “I’m sorry, Edward. I won’t do it.”

I could hear Clara walking away. “Do you love me?” Edward called after her.

She laughed. “Do you even know what love is?”

Nothing more was spoken between them. I heard Clara walk away and Edward punch the wall with a grunt before leaving.

I let out the breath I was holding and looked up at Mr. Moreland who stood in rather close proximity while we both listened to their conversation. He seemed a little nervous and took a step back. “I suppose we know what they are up to now,” he said with a nervous chuckle.

“I must warn Lady Denham,” I said. 

He nodded his head. “I believe I need to warn my brother as well.”

“Please excuse me.” I curtsied and ran through town towards Sanditon House. How I wished I’d taken the carriage. As much as I needed to warn Lady Denham, I also needed to warn Sidney. I'd have to travel to London.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved reading all the reviews on the last chapter. All of you are amazing and I love you all.


	32. Eliza be damned!

~Charlotte~

I ran as quickly as I could back to Sanditon House and burst through the doors. “Lady Denham!” I yelled.

Alison came around the corner and shushed me while glaring. “What is wrong with you?” she asked.

“Where’s Lady Denham?” I asked breathlessly. 

“She’s already in bed. She had a busy day and decided to call it a night. I just finished seeing her to her room.”

“I must speak to her.” I handed Alison Heraclitus before I ran down the hallway and flew her door open with a force I wasn’t intending.

She sat up with a start. “Charlotte! What is the meaning of this?”

“Lady Denham, I apologize for barging in here and for waking you, but I must speak to you. It’s a matter of urgency.” I rushed to her bedside and sat down next to her. I could hear Alison standing in the doorway behind me. 

Lady Denham sat up further in her bed but rolled her eyes while doing so. “What is it?” she asked hastily. 

“I just overheard the most troubling news,” I began. “I was walking along the beach with Mr. Moreland and we came upon Edward Denham and Clara Brereton talking.”

“Were they, now?” she said, sounding repulsed.

“Edward spoke of how his and Mrs. Campion’s engagement is a farce and his soul intention is to be in your good graces so he can inherit your fortune. He bragged that you have already made up the Will naming him as the beneficiary.”

“Yes, yes, I know all of this,” she said, dismissing my information.

I leaned back and gave her a confused expression. “You know their engagement isn’t real?”

“Do you honestly think me a fool?” she asked. “No woman of higher class would ever engage themselves to someone like my nephew. I knew it wasn’t real from the moment they walked in.”

“But why have you played along?” I wondered.

“Mrs. Campion has money to spare. I might as well get something for Sanditon out of it. She’s throwing money left and right, at my suggestion of course, to make Sanditon a more successful sea bathing community. I might as well take advantage of it while I can so I’m not always the benefactor of building projects. She’s already laid down quite a fortune for the development of a donkey steed as well as some new houses.”

“Did you truly make Edward your beneficiary in your Will?” I asked. 

“That was at his insistence. Merely for insurance for what they are putting forth now,” she explained. “It’s easily changed later.”

“There’s more,” I said. “Turns out Clara is pregnant with Edward’s child. She’d have to be almost halfway through her pregnancy by now and unmarried. She’s engaged herself to Andrew Moreland merely for protection of her and the child. But to me, it sounded like Edward wished to marry her and make it right.”

“As he should if it’s truly his child. But do we know that for sure? She’s not proven herself trustworthy in the past.”

“Mrs. Campion is still after Sidney,” I added. “I don’t think she will ever give up.”

“Perhaps it’s for the best. There’s plenty of other interested men who are far more suitable,” she said.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Like Isaac Moreland, I presume?” 

“You did say you were walking with him this evening. You must enjoy his company on some level,” she said, smirking and letting her eyes twinkle. 

“Why are you so against Sidney? I don’t understand. I love him, Lady Denham.”

“He’s not good enough to see your true potential,” she explained.

“And a man I’ve barely spoken to does?” I countered. 

“When you’ve lived as long as I have, you will understand,” she said, settling back down in the bed. “Now let me sleep. I’m dreadfully tired.”

I sighed again and left the room with Alison. She handed Heraclitus back to me and watched me curiously. “What are you planning? I can tell by your face you’re up to something.”

I grabbed her hand and pulled her to my room and shut the door. I placed Heraclitus on my bed and pulled out a small trunk to begin to pack. Alison sat down on the bed and petted Heraclitus while she watched me fly around the room. “Mrs. Campion is planning to be on that ship to Antigua with Sidney. I have to be on that ship also. I won’t let her do this.”

“How are you getting there?” Alison asked.

“I’ll take the morning coach. I’ve taken the coach to London before. I’m sure I’ll figure it out. Where the ships leave isn't far from London.”

“Are you actually planning to travel to Antigua?” she wondered.

“If that’s where Sidney is, then I must go.” I continued to rush around the room and pack whatever I could fit in the trunk. 

I looked at Alison who had a sadness about her. I stopped and sat down next to her. “What’s the matter?”

“You’ll be gone…” she cried. “For my wedding.” 

I took in a sharp breath and realized what I was leaving behind if I followed Sidney. “Alison, I must go. You would do the same, wouldn’t you?”

She shook her head. “I would trust my betrothed. If Sidney truly loves you, it won’t matter if Mrs. Campion follows after him.”

“It’s not just about Mrs. Campion,” I said, taking her hands in mine. “It’s about being where I belong. My home is with Sidney, wherever that may be, as your home is with Mr. Crowe. We are bound to be separated as we go through life.”

“But to miss my wedding? Perhaps even your first niece or nephew, whether from me or from George.”

“I’ll more than likely miss the birth of Esther’s baby as well. A baby I’m supposed to be a godparent for. What am I supposed to do?” 

She looked down and I saw a tear stream down her cheek. “I understand. I would probably do the same if I were in your shoes. I’ll be fine. Go after Sidney, but please remember to write me.”

“Of course.” I pulled her into my arms and hugged her tightly. 

The rest of the night, I struggled with what was the right choice. I knew I needed to go after Sidney, but I knew doing so I’d be giving up so much more. Alison stayed in the bed next to me with Heraclitus sleeping peacefully between us. I’d have to leave him behind too. Alison would have to care for him. He would grow to love her more than me if I was gone for a long time. I wouldn’t be here to oversee the theatre being built that the Prince Regent wants to fund. So much would have to be sacrificed. Yet I had to go.

Early in the morning, I got up and dressed and prepared for the long trip. I knew Sidney would be boarding the ship in a day or two. I just hoped I got there before he left. Thinking about where I saw Edward, I wondered if he was seeing Mrs. Campion off to London so she could follow after Sidney like he claimed she planned to do. I wouldn’t be surprised if he showed up today telling Lady Denham all about her unexpected trip to care for a sick relative. 

Alison once again sat at the foot of the bed watching me and looking down at the floor with a sad expression. “Will you look after Heraclitus for me?” I asked. 

“Of course, I will.”

“You’ll need to keep an eye on Edward. Perhaps fill Esther in on what I discovered yesterday. I know Lady Denham played it off as nothing to be concerned about, but I truly worry she will be taken advantage of.”

Alison nodded her head in agreement, before helping me with the trunk and carrying it downstairs. The morning light was just coming through the windows and the servants were all buzzing about their day. 

“Miss Heywood,” one of the cooks approached us near the front door. “I’ve packed you some food for the trip. I don’t want you getting hungry on your journey.”

“Thank you, Sarah. I truly appreciate your kindness.” I took the wrapped basket of food and placed it on top of the trunk to be carried out to the carriage. I straightened my hat and took a deep breath readying myself for the painful goodbye. 

I kissed Heraclitus on the head and handed him over to Alison who couldn’t bring herself to look at me. Her eyes were trained on the puppy. “I won’t be gone forever. Soon Sidney and I will return and with much hope everything will be worked out by then.”

Alison nodded her head, trying hard not to cry. I hugged her tightly, squishing Heraclitus between us. We both began to cry and wish it was different. 

“Please let Mary know where I’ve gone and let her know I will write. I don’t want her worrying,” I said.

“I’m sure she will be encouraged knowing you are with Sidney. It’s what’s getting me through this separation as well.”

I nodded and hugged her once more. While we hugged, there was a commotion among the servants. Some were running down the halls, others were frantic. 

Alison grabbed the arm of one of the servants to stop her. “What’s happened?” 

“It’s Lady Denham. She’s lost to us.”

~Sidney~

I woke early on the day I was to leave. I had everything packed, had all my affairs in order, had cleared out the London home even though Diana and Arthur were back. They did plan to go back to Sanditon in a day or two, but it was difficult having them here acting melancholy. What I wouldn’t give for a moment of peace. How I longed to be at the cove, more than likely surprising a certain someone who had overtaken my spot. What I wouldn’t give to be able to hold her in my arms.

I sat silently, staring out the window watching the busy crowds of people scatter about their day. I scribbled out a letter to Charlotte to be entrusted to Arthur for safekeeping and delivery. It would probably be sometime before she’d get another letter once I arrived in Antigua. I was about to leave for an entirely different world. The last time I was in Antigua, terrible things happened to the people I care about. I wasn’t sure what this new business adventure was going to hold, but I was willing to do anything I could.

I saw a young girl walking along the street who reminded me of Charlotte. I sighed and looked away, hoping to dispel the memory of leaving her at the cove alone and upset. I should have asked her to come with me. She could have had her own quarters on the ship. We could have worked together in Antigua. The last letter I sent to her I admitted feeling like I had made a mistake by not asking her to come. A part of me was holding out hope that somehow, she would show up anyway. Perhaps she would have Georgiana in tow. Charlotte escorting Georgiana back to her native land as a ruse to be headed to Antigua. I’m not sure why I hadn’t thought of it before. I’m quite certain Georgiana would have jumped at the possibility of a trip back home. Now it was too late. I had already bought my ticket and was leaving in a few short hours.

I carried my bag downstairs and looked around my empty childhood home one last time. Diana and Arthur came into the parlor to see me off. “Take care of yourself,” Diana said.

I half smiled. “I’ll be fine.” 

“You need not worry about Charlotte or Georgiana while you’re gone. The puppy was a great distraction for Charlotte. She’s been spending nearly every day with Georgiana. We will all take care of them while you’re away,” Arthur said matter-of-factly with a dip of his head. 

I nodded my head and took a deep breath. “I’ll be back in two years, even if I have to swim back,” I promised. 

“What a terrible consideration,” Arthur said, causing me to smile. 

“Off you go, then,” Diana said trying to hold back from crying. 

I let out another strangled breath, knowing this was it. The last time I’d step into my childhood home and the last time I’d see any family for two years. With a quick turn, I stepped out into the street and boarded the carriage to take me to the docks. 

By the time I arrived at the docks, I had already resolved myself to my fate and had plans to face it head on. I checked in my trunk and went through the ticket line to board the ship. I stayed on the deck of the ship and looked out at the water, paying no mind to the people around me. 

“Sidney!” The shrill voice coming behind me was not the voice I was expecting. I turned around to see Eliza dressed in an unusually extravagant gown with a parasol open above her head. “I’m so thrilled I found you.”

“What are you doing here?” I asked looking at her with absolute disgust. 

“I decided to take a trip before I marry Edward Denham. You do remember him, don’t you?”

“I heard about your engagement. I was quite surprised at first, but then I thought about it more. He does have a title I’m sure you’re after.”

She smiled and tipped her head to one side. “Yes, well things couldn’t have worked out better if I do say so myself. Edward is back in Sanditon dealing with funeral preparations, while I’m here pursuing my true quarry.”

“Funeral Preparation?” I asked, confused by what she meant. 

“Edward and I were engaged entirely on business arrangements. I help him gain his aunts fortune, while I get Sanditon House. I will be the lady of the town and be able to do as I please as well as have a say on who is living in the town of Sanditon. I assure you; Charlotte will be the first to go,” she said smugly.

“Are you saying Lady Denham is dead?” I asked frantic for what this meant for Charlotte.

“She is,” she said with no feeling or remorse at all.” I received word this morning from Edward. He is absolutely beside himself with grief. All for show, of course. We didn’t think her passing would happen for many years, but I’m entirely thankful we moved quickly in getting her to write up a new Will naming Edward and I as her benefactors. I was supposed to travel to care for a sick family member while Edward stayed with his aunt and cared for her every whim. Then when I returned married to you, he would be the heartbroken man who was pushed aside for another man. Lady Denham would be his only support through a difficult time. But we didn’t even have to wait that long. It’s as if fate has smiled down upon us.” Her cunning laugh disgusted me.

“What makes you think following me is going to change my mind about marrying you?” I asked. “Especially after telling me all of this?”

She smiled deviously as if she knew a secret. “There’s a certain debt still owed to whoever Lady Denham’s heir is. You have two choices. Either marry me and the debt is paid in full and we live in Sanditon House together while your family keeps their homes and their integrity. We will oversee Sanditon and develop it to its full potential. Or you don’t and I marry Edward, now forcing you to pay that debt to me. I do believe Lady Denham’s terms stated you were not permitted to marry Charlotte until the debt was paid in full. I’ll be sure to enforce that rule. I’m quite certain I can arrange for the debt to never be paid either. It’s not hard to pay off men who you may try to have business dealings with. It is rather poetic, don’t you think? You humiliated me during our engagement, now I get my revenge. Charlotte will be gone, never to return to Sanditon, I'll see to that. While I take over Sanditon, hiring men who actually know what they are doing to rebuild what she shoddily put together with her time of pretending to be a woman architect. You should have known I wasn’t going to walk away so easily. Charlotte Heywood will never walk into your life again.”

My breath hitched in my lungs. As much as I was in an entirely impossible situation, all I could think about was Charlotte. She must be devastated with Lady Denham’s passing, especially since they hadn’t been getting along so well. I had to go to her. I needed to know she was alright. Antigua or not, I had to go back. I bolted past Eliza and listened to her yell after me. The ship was just about to leave. I ran across the deck, pushing and weaving my way through people, trying to get to the steps. When I reached the side of the ship in front of the dock, there was a gap between the ship and the dock. I stepped back, begging people to get out of the way. With a running start, I jumped from the ship and barely reached the dock, holding on with only my hands. A few people standing nearby helped pull me up to my feet. There were loud gasps and people screaming with freight. 

“Are you alright, sir?” An older gentleman asked.

“I need a horse,” I said breathlessly. 

“Yes, yes. I’ll direct you to the stables,” he agreed. I followed him off the docks while still hearing Eliza screaming my name from the ship’s deck in a frantic tone. I never looked back.

At the stables, I rented a horse with nice muscle tone and still in its prime. I needed a fast horse who would fly across the land. I hopped into the saddle and raced off across the countryside towards Sanditon. I had to see Charlotte. We needed to figure out what to do now with this new development. We needed to figure it out together, and if I did need to go to Antigua, Charlotte and Georgiana were coming too. Eliza be damned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a shorter chapter, but the next one should be longer. Is everyone upset that Lady Denham has died? I hope not.


	33. For The Sake Of Sanditon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope no one is too upset with the passing of Lady Denham. It's all about the bigger picture here. Her legacy will live on.

~Charlotte~

Alison and I sat in the drawing room entirely stunned at the news. Neither of us could move or even remember to breathe at times. Tears were dried to our cheeks as neither of us had the strength to wipe them away. Servants rushed around the house while someone fetched the doctor to confirm Lady Denham’s death. Edward Denham showed up in what seemed like minutes after the news, almost as if he was anticipating this happening. For the briefest of moments, the thought of him causing her death crossed my mind. I thought it entirely possible. He had spent a good amount of time in the house lately.

Lord and Lady Babington showed up later in the day. Esther ran towards me and we embraced in a sorrowful hug. Lady Denham and Esther didn’t always get along, much like my relationship with Lady Denham, but Esther truly did care about her aunt and she was genuinely devastated. Unlike Edward who put on a show of hysterics. I rolled my eyes as he joined all of us in the drawing room pretending to wipe away fake tears. Mr. Crowe came into the room moments later, returning from London and more than likely hearing the news from in town. Alison burst into tears when she saw him. He rushed to her and held her tightly in his arms while she cried. 

“What should we do now?” Esther asked. “Did she have any arrangements planned?”

“I suppose after her last brush with death, we should have thought about it further and made some sort of plan,” Lord Babington said.

“She has a plan,” Alison spoke, her head still buried in Mr. Crowe’s chest. “She shared it with me weeks ago. I can get it.” Alison released herself from Mr. Crowe’s hold and walked slowly out of the room. I became all too aware of the time of day, coming to the realization I had missed the morning coach. I couldn’t leave now that Lady Denham had died. How disrespectful I would be to do such a thing? I had to stay even if it meant I'd lose Sidney.

Mary and Tom were ushered into the room where they both hugged me then Alison when she walked back into the room. 

“Why is everyone acting as if the Miss Heywoods just lost a loved one?” Edward asked hotly. “She’s not related to either of them.”

“Edward, stop being so insensitive!” Esther scolded.

Mary glared at Edward while sitting down next to me and holding my hands in hers for comfort. 

“Do you know anything? Was she ill? How was she last night?” Tom asked. “Such a tragic discovery.”

“The doctor is with her now,” Lord Babington explained.

I took in a sharp breath remembering our conversation before she went to bed. I hadn’t been kind, arguing yet again about Sidney. I was the last person who spoke to her. What if, in my haste to tell her what I discovered, I had inadvertently caused her death? New tears streamed down my face and I couldn’t hold in the sobs any longer. Mary placed her arm around my shoulders to try and comfort me.

“Give it here!” Edward demanded of Alison. He ripped the papers from her hands and read what it said to himself. He hummed and shook his head then scoffed. Whatever it was Lady Denham wished for in a burial he was not happy about it. More than likely because now his fortune would have to be spent on giving his aunt a proper service. “This won’t do. She wants far too much on her deathbed. I will not grant any of this.”

“Who says it’s your choice to make?” Esther asked. 

“I’m the beneficiary of her estate. I get to make the final decisions. She’s delusional, even in death, if she thinks I’m going to grant her requests.”

Esther broke into more tears and buried her face in her hands. Lord Babington rubbed her shoulders to comfort her. “Whatever she wished for we will take care of, Lord Babington offered. “We wouldn’t want you to spend any of your precious inheritance on someone you supposedly love dearly.”

Edward glared at Lord Babington. “I do love my aunt dearly. But she’s dead. Nothing I do is going to bring her back. She doesn’t need all this extravagance in death. There’s really no point in it.”

There was a commotion from another room, catching all our attention. Clara Brereton, looking disheveled and clearly upset, stepped into the room while servants tried to stop her. It appeared she just heard the news and came to join our mourning.

“Let her be!” Edward yelled. She glanced at him, then looked around the room. Her eyes settled on me and with a jolt of fresh anger across her face, she rushed across the room.

“Charlotte Heywood, how could you?”

My wide, terrified eyes stared up at her with pains of guilt hitting me hard. I felt as if Lady Denham’s death was my fault, but here Clara was actually accusing me in front of everyone.

“Miss Brereton, what is the matter with you?” Mary asked.

“Were you always in cahoots with Isaac Moreland?” she questioned.

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I mumbled.

“You and Mr. Moreland worked together to ruin my future.”

Realization finally hit me. Andrew Moreland had probably discovered she was with child and broke off their engagement. 

“I apologize, Clara,” I said quietly. “We didn’t mean to overhear your conversation with Edward. But there’s more pressing matters at the moment. Lady Denham is gone.”

She stepped back and looked around the room again, taking in the morose looks on everyone’s faces. “What do you mean?” 

Edward stepped towards her and placed his arms against her shoulders. “She's dead. Discovered this morning by the staff,” Edward said sounding less and less like he had sympathy for her passing. She turned and buried her head in Edward’s shoulder. What I knew of her current situation, I questioned whether her tears were because of grief or happiness. She could easily marry Edward now that he’d have Lady Denham's fortune and Eliza was long gone after Sidney.

Silence filled the room as we all dealt with our own grief in our own way. It seemed like hours before Dr. Fuchs emerged. He walked slowly and his eyes settled on the floor rather than making eye contact with anyone. 

“Well?” Edward demanded harshly.

“I’m afraid she is indeed gone,” he announced. “Mr. Hankins is with her now.”

I watched as Edward took a deep breath and the corner of his mouth twitched as if he was trying not to smile. He was a disgustingly greedy man and I hated he was enjoying all of this.

Lord Babington picked up the paper with the burial requests and folded it neatly. “We will begin making the arrangements for her to be buried,” he announced, taking Esther’s hand and helping her to her feet.

“I will call on the solicitor to come read the Will tomorrow as well,” Edward said. “All of you should be present.”

“You can’t even wait until she’s buried?” Esther shouted through tears. “Our aunt just died and all you can think about is her Will. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“It’s already been worked out. She has left everything to me and my betrothed, Eliza Campion,” Edward explained. “This is just a formality to have witnesses.”

“You are an impossibly revolting man,” Esther said.

“You didn’t think that way at one time, dear sister,” Edward chided.

I could see Lord Babington getting angry and stepping between the two of them. He got right in Edward's face as if he was ready to attack. Edward just smirked at him. Thankfully Mr. Crowe and Tom stepped in to stop a fight from breaking out.

“Perhaps we should all leave,” Mary suggested. “Looks as if emotions are running high today.”

“With pleasure,” Lord Babington said, leading Esther out of the house and away from Edward. 

As everyone started to leave the house, Edward lingered behind with Clara. 

Clara walked over to Mr. Crowe who still stood close to Alison. "Mr. Crowe, how nice to see you here," Clara said with a syrupy sweet voice. "I miss our time together on the dance floor."

"Yes, well those days are far over. There's only one I wish to dance with now. He took Alison's hand and motioned for her to stand. "I don't believe you've met Alison Heywood, Charlotte's sister. We will be married in just a few weeks time."

Alison curtsied towards Clara shyly who had a smirk on her face. "Interesting, indeed," Clara said. "I wouldn't know you to be the marrying type."

"I wasn't, until I found the one I wish to marry," Mr. Crowe said, pulling Alison to his side with a look of amazement that she was his. She smiled back at him, causing Clara to frown and walk away back over by Edward. Mr. Crowe kissed Alison on the forehead for a sweet gesture of love. He stayed for quite some time comforting Alison, before he left at Alison's insistence to go home and get his belongings settled in after his long trip back to Sanditon. I longed to have Sidney here with me for comfort, but that wouldn't be possible any longer.

Edward approached Alison and I, looking at us with a sly grin on his face. “I suggest packing your belongings. Tonight, will be the last night you spend in this house.” Clara smiled before taking his arm and walking out. 

Alison and I burst into tears once we were alone. We embraced in a hug and didn’t let go of each other all afternoon. Servants came to us and through their own grief asked if we needed anything. We asked all of them to take some time to themselves to process what had happened, reassuring them that we were more than capable of caring for ourselves. 

“Why did she show you her funeral request?” I asked, wondering why Alison knew where to find Lady Denham's burial wishes. Had she known she was going to die? Did she confide in Alison?

“I was with her one day and a man came to go over her wishes for burial. It seemed rather odd. When he left, I asked her why she was planning her funeral and she explained to me that after her brush with death months back she didn’t want to take any chances. She’d rather have everything planned out so there were no mistakes when the time came. I saw her write everything down and then put it in her desk drawer. I never thought much of it after that.”

“I’m still trying to process what’s happened. I feel entirely responsible,” I said.

“Why would you be responsible?” Alison asked.

“I was the last one to speak to her. I burst into her room and woke her up when she was sleeping. What if I caused her heart to beat too fast and it couldn’t recover?”

“Charlotte, you must not think like that. She would have been furious if you hadn’t told her,” Alison said.

“Yes, but she already knew. Nothing I said came as any great surprise. She spoke of changing the Will at a later time but now there is no later time. Edward and Eliza are going to inherit everything.” I sighed and my eyes welled up with tears again. “Meaning Sidney now owes the debt he has promised to Lady Denham to both of them. If we thought Lady Denham’s terms were strict, I can’t imagine what there’s are going to look like. I’m sure Eliza already has her grips on Sidney. If I remember correctly from his letters, he leaves first thing in the morning.”

“We will think of something. Perhaps after the funeral, you can board the next ship sailing to Antigua and surprise him,” she suggested.

“Yes, it’s a possibility,” I answered knowing deep down it more than likely wouldn't happen.

The rest of the day was a blur. People came in and out to prepare and clean and some just to observe or pay their respects. Alison and I packed our things, so they were ready to be moved. The entire day was a daunting experience. Alison and I stayed close and at the end of the day crawled into bed together with Heraclitus between us. Neither of us slept much, still reliving the day, still feeling the pain of losing someone, still feeling responsible. The emotions were overwhelming.

The next day, Alison and I dressed for the day, still feeling entirely incapable of going forward without Lady Denham. 

“Can we get either of you anything?” Sarah, a servant asked of us when we came downstairs. 

“I wish everyone would take some time to grieve. Alison and I can manage,” I said.

“Begging your pardon, miss, but most of us find staying busy is the best way to cope. It helps take our minds off what’s happened; of what’s to come.”

I nodded my head in understanding.

“Perhaps just some tea, then,” Alison suggested.

We sat in the drawing room, waiting and expecting more people to arrive to pay their respects. Edward Denham was one of the first to arrive yet again. He walked into the drawing room just as Sarah had placed some tea on a table for us. 

“Would you mind setting up some food and drinks in case guests who come to pay their respects would like something to eat?” I asked, thinking it might help keep the serving staff busy.

“It’ll be my pleasure,” Sarah said with a smile.

“Taking over the house already, Miss Heywood?” he questioned.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “It’s only refreshments. The serving staff is grieving just as much as everyone else. They wish to stay busy, so I gave them a task.”

“From now on, I’ll be making the requests from the staff,” he said directly.

“Of course. We will be out of the house by the end of the day,” I assured.

The day dragged on rather slowly. As word spread, more and more people came in to pay their respects. Some of them I knew, some I had never met, but it seemed everyone in the town knew Lady Denham.

“Lord Moreland and his five sons arrived in the late afternoon. Lord Moreland seemed rather upset by the news while his sons seemed indifferent. Edward did not seem pleased to see them in the least.

Isaac Moreland stood to the side of the room, staring out the window and looking lost in thought. I decided to approach him and be sure he was alright. Knowing what I did about his father’s thoughts on his own death being imminent, I’m sure Lady Denham’s death had him worrying about his own father. 

“Your father seems rather upset by the news of Lady Denham’s passing,” I said, trying to start a conversation.

He turned and acknowledged me for only a moment before turning back to the window. “I fear this may just send him over the edge. He was rather fond of Lady Denham. Even though he expects his own death soon, I think Lady Denham made him feel young again.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” I asked. 

He turned towards me and smiled, softening his expression. “No. Thank you though.”

We were silent for a moment, both staring out the window observing the dark, gloomy clouds that covered the sky. I thought it rather fitting for such a dreadful day. 

“How is your brother Andrew doing? Clara was here yesterday very upset about what we discovered. I assume she was confronted.”

“Yes. Father was not too thrilled to hear the news. He insisted they break the engagement off immediately.”

“I had a feeling that’s what happened the way she came barging in here.”

“Were you able to tell Lady Denham about Edward’s plans before her passing?” he asked.

“I did. She didn’t seem surprised, though I daresay it’s too late. Edward Denham and Eliza Campion will inherit everything. I wouldn’t be surprised if Edward marries Clara now that Mrs. Campion is out of the way.”

“Were you able to get word to Mr. Parker before Mrs. Campion followed him?”

Fresh tears fell from my eyes as I shook my head. “I was planning to leave on the coach yesterday morning. If Lady Denham hadn’t died, I would have made it.”

“I’m so sorry, Miss Heywood. If there was anything I could do…”

I smiled and shook my head trying to brush the pain away. “It’s nothing to concern yourself with. I have to trust Sidney won’t be fooled by her again.”

“I’m not sure how he could, knowing he’d have you to come home to,” he said with a sincere expression on his face.

I smiled at him, acknowledging the compliment before leaving his side and joining Alison who was speaking with Mary and Tom. They had just arrived and were waiting for the solicitor to arrive. 

“We were requested to be present for the reading of the Will. Edward is fairly insistent we all attend,” Tom informed. I was certain his main purpose for having us there was to gloat about how he manipulated his aunt into giving him everything even though months ago she had disowned him and had him removed from Sanditon.

“After the reading the of the Will, Alison and I will need to leave Sanditon House. I know it’s a lot to ask, but would you, perhaps, have enough space to take in Alison as well? It’ll only be a short while. We will travel back to Willingden in a week or two to finalize wedding plans for Alison.”

Mary wrapped her arm around mine. “You and Alison are always welcome at Trafalgar House. We already have your room made up. If you don’t mind sharing, at least for a while.”

“We can share,” I assured. “We share back home and most of the time even here at Sanditon House. I suppose it’s a comfort to have each other close.”

Mary smiled and nodded her head in understanding. 

“It’s a shame Sidney already left. I’m sure he could have worked out a better arrangement with Edward if he was still here,” Mary said. 

Tears I had been holding back for hours, even days, were betraying me. I had begun to crack under the pressure of everything going on. I felt as if I was suffocating. 

“Everything alright, Charlotte?” Mary asked.

“I think I just need a moment to get some air. I’ll be back soon.”

“Do you want me to come with?” Alison asked.

“I’ll be alright on my own. Thank you.”

There was only one place I wanted to be. I ran across the field and straight towards the beach letting my tears stream down my face uncontrollably. I made it to the cove and fell to the sand in a hump while I continued to sob uncontrollably.

I heard a commotion on the clifftops and turned my head to see a carriage stop. I quickly wiped my tears, trying my best to hold in the sobs and stood to my feet. I watched as a gentleman stepped out of the carriage and walked towards me. He stopped a distance away and smiled politely.

“Good afternoon, miss. My name is Mr. Fulton. Might I presume you are a Miss Charlotte Heywood?” he asked.

I stared curiously at him. “I am.”

“Wonderful. She said you would more than likely be here when this day came.” He stepped forward and took a letter out of his pocket. “This is for you.”

“From who?” I asked taking the letter from his hands cautiously.

“Lady Denham. I am her solicitor. She has letters for just about everyone in town. She instructed me to deliver yours first and how I would find you here.”

I stared at the letter in my hands with disbelief. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to read it. “Thank you,” I said.

“I am on my way now to Sanditon House to deliver the rest of the letters and read Lady Denham’s last Will and Testament. Would you like an escort back there?”

I shook my head. “I think I’d rather stay here. To read the letter in private,” I said.

He bowed with a smile. “Good day, miss.”

I watched as his carriage pulled away, heading back towards Sanditon House before my attention fell back on the letter. My heart raced with fear of what the letter might say. I took a few deep breaths before opening it up to read her last words to me. A part of me was intrigued but another part of me was terrified.

My Dear Charlotte, 

There is an old proverb stating, ‘He that deceives me once, it’s his fault; but twice, it’s my fault.’ You didn’t truly think I was going to let Edward fool me into handing over my fortune to him, did you? I like to tease. It was quite amusing to watch Edward stand enthusiastically over me while I falsely made him my benefactor. Oh, how I wish to see him now looking all kinds of sorrowful as if he is crushed over my death, all while he secretly boasts that he’s about to inherit my fortune. If it’s the last thing I do on this earth, I will make that ungrateful nephew of mine squirm for all the wrongs he’s done. He will not see a penny of my inheritance. What I wouldn’t give to see his face when my solicitor reads the real Will. 

I have known for a while my time on this earth was coming to an end. After my last brush with death, I never fully recovered and knew it was only a matter of time. I have kept it to myself, not wanting to burden anyone or have all of you hover around my deathbed waiting for me to die. We did that once before. I wasn’t about to do it again. I wanted to go on my own terms, my own way. 

My only concern when coming to this realization was what will happen to Sanditon. I had every intention of leaving my fortune to the town of Sanditon for its development, but who would oversee it? Tom was the sensible choice until I discovered he wasn’t trustworthy. I could leave it to Esther, but she has little interest in Sanditon, and she is well taken care of by Lord Babington. No. I needed to find someone who cared about Sanditon just as much as I did. Someone who can see beyond the small town and see its greatness for what it could be. Someone like you. 

I had decided you would be the best person for the job the minute you stepped foot into that building site and took charge of the men. You gave a good account of yourself from day one. You were never boastful, never wanting, never prideful or deceitful. You were just you. An amusing, strong, intelligent, creative, passionate and opinionated young lady who will do a wonderful job overseeing Sanditon for years to come. I only hope these last few months that I have taught you how to be a strong pillar in this community so people will learn to respect you. It’s an odd time for a woman. When I was a young girl, things were much different than they are now. Women were not to be heard nor seen. Women were merely playthings for the men to do with what they want. Now I see more and more women taking charge of their own fates and paving their own paths. The more women we have in the world with strong opinions and desires, the more chances we will have to better our opportunities for future generations of young girls. You can be at the forefront of change in our Sanditon community.

As for Mr. Parker, I am not proud to admit this, but I am quite jealous of your relationship. Like you, I also was a small-town farm girl with nothing to offer a man as far as fortune goes. Yet, I had a man I was overwhelmingly in love with. I would have followed him to the ends of the earth. But he passed me over for someone with a fortune, leaving me hopeless and devastated. I would have given anything to have him come for me like Mr. Parker did for you. To give up everything he had just to have you. No man in their right mind would ever do such a thing just for a woman. The man I loved didn’t pass me over to save his family like Mr. Parker did. He purely chose money for the sake of money. I asked myself, what made you so special? Why would Sidney Parker risk everything, including his family and reputation, just to have a farm girl? I still haven’t figured it out. I see it’ll remain a mystery. 

Despite my jealousy of yours and Mr. Parker’s relationship, I want you to think long and hard at what you will be doing if you marry him. As a woman, everything you have will now become your husbands. My fortune that I am entrusting to you, will now be the Parker family fortune. Sidney Parker will do what he pleases with it, even if that means handing it over to his ridiculous brother to flit away in bad investments and poor business deals once again. Choose a man who wants to be your partner in life, not rule you. Choose a man who wants your opinion, not to silence you. Choose a man who will allow you to grow in your endeavors, not demean you. Choose a man who will support your decisions, not make them for you. If that truly is Sidney Parker, then so be it. I have my doubts, but I am entrusting you with this decision. If I may, one last time, ask you to consider Isaac Moreland. He is a progressive man with many ambitions and someone who I know, from talking with his father, would fit these traits. He values the female community and wants them to have more advantages. He would treat you well and allow you to make your own decisions. He will inherit his own fortune, leaving you to do what you please with mine. Just give him a passing thought, if nothing else. I have faith you will make the right decision. 

The entirety of my fortune, including my home, is now yours. Everything Sidney Parker offered as partial payment, including his London family home, his business in London, and the entirety of his own fortune, now also belongs to you. Do with these things as you please. My only request is to take care of Sanditon. Of course, it’s entirely up to you what you do from here on out. But I have faith you know what's best.

You have been like a daughter to me when I wasn't able to have one of my own. Do not lose that fight, that drive, that spirit I have come to admire and depend on. Sanditon rests in your hands now. 

With love,

Lady Denham

I wanted to scream. I had never been so angry and frustrated. How could she do this? I was not the best person for what she asked. I couldn’t oversee Sanditon for a lifetime. And then to tell me to make a choice between Sidney and Isaac. There was no choice to be made. I would choose Sidney, despite what her warnings were. I had never felt so betrayed. Why hadn’t she told me this was her plan before she died? At least then I could have prepared for it. Now I’d have to walk into a house all alone full of people whom I was sure would accuse me of forcing Lady Denham’s hand. Who would judge me differently for this one choice Lady Denham made. Why now after Sidney was gone with Mrs. Campion following after him? 

After shoving the letter into my pocket, I stepped to the shoreline, letting the frigid water wash over my feet and hem of my skirt while I stared out at the water twisting and turning in front of me. I felt even more like I was suffocating under an impossible situation. The overwhelming frustration, anger, and sadness was too much to handle. I let out a loud scream into the ocean air, feeling better almost instantly. I screamed again and again while tears streamed down my face. Raindrops began to fall from the sky, hitting my face and soaking my clothing. I didn’t care, though. I wished to be swallowed by the water surrounding me. 

“Charlotte!” Sidney’s familiar voice called out. I turned around with a jolt seeing him ride up on a horse. I stared at him with disbelief trying to decide if I was hallucinating. He watched me with great concern while he hopped off the horse and came rushing over to me. He looked me up and down and rubbed my arms with his warm hands. “Are you alright? I heard screaming.”

Believing he was, in fact real, I gasped for air and broke down crying. My arms wrapped around him and sobs came out of me uncontrollably. “I thought you were gone,” I cried.

He held me close to him, enveloping me in the warmth of his body. “I came as soon as I heard. Is she really…”

“Yes,” I said through sobs. “I’m so glad you’re here. I thought… I thought I was going to lose you again.”

“Why would you think such a thing?” he asked with great concern to his tone.

“Mrs. Campion. She followed you, didn’t she?”

He leaned away from me and tilted my face to look at him. Heavy raindrops hit my face and trickled down my cheeks. “Mrs. Campion can follow me wherever she wishes to. She can threaten me with the worst possible news. But she is not going to sway my feelings for you. Don’t you know how much I love you? I just jumped off a ship to come see you.”

“You what?” I asked. The thought of something so dangerous terrified me. 

He smiled and tilted his head to one side. “Mrs. Campion boarded the ship to follow me. As soon as she told me about Lady Denham, I knew I needed to see you. I needed to be sure you were alright. I’m sure it’s all rather shocking and stressful. Tell me. Are you truly alright?”

I smiled and leaned up to kiss him quickly. “I am now.”

He smiled in returned and leaned in to kiss me fuller, deeper, all encompassing. I had missed his touch, his tenderness, but mostly his kisses. Being in his arms again was like being home. There was a peace that washed over me, knowing we would never be parted again. His forehead rested against mine as rain poured down on us. Neither of us seemed to care about being soaking wet in the freezing sea air blowing around us. Being in his arms was all the warmth I needed. 

“We have new obstacles to face with Lady Denham’s passing, but we will face them together. With Mrs. Campion now on her way to Antigua alone, I have hope I can work out a new deal with Edward for the debt. If not, I have a plan so even if we aren’t able to marry, we can still be together wherever we need to go.”

I swallowed thickly against the lump in my throat. Lady Denham’s warning came back to me. As much as I didn’t want to care, it weighed heavily on me. “Can I ask you something?” I began, looking up at him. He looked at me intently waiting for my question. “When we are married, if I wish to continue to build or oversee projects here in Sanditon, what would you say?”

He gave me a curious look as if he didn’t quite understand the question. “I wouldn’t say anything. I’d stand by your side and help you do great things for Sanditon like I hope I’ve already done.”

“What if I was to become an architect and make money for the work I did? Would you expect me to hand over that money to you to do with how you please?”

He smirked. “I have no interest in taking anything from you. I want us to be a partnership. I want us to make decisions together. I can’t imagine you would let me make a decision without sharing your opinion.”

“What if five years from now, I decide I don’t want to build? What if I want to write a book?” I asked, giving him a hypothetical possibility. 

He tilted his head again and looked deep in my eyes. “Then I’ll help you become a writer.”

What if I want to do something outlandish like becoming a doctor?” I wondered with a giggle.

He chuckled to match mine. “I suppose I’ll be helping to pave the path for you to become a doctor. I think it’s quite possible considering how much you have already proven with your knowledge of what to do in an emergency situation.”

Fresh tears of happiness streamed down my face with every answer. He was who Lady Denham wished me to be with, even if she could never see it. If she would have looked past that jealousy, she would have seen the man he truly is. The man I always knew he was. She would have seen how wonderful he is and how together we will do amazing things in Sanditon. 

I looked up at him and took a deep breath. “And what if all I want in life is to be a mother?”

He grinned and looked at me with so much pride in his eyes. His chest filled while he leaned closer to me, our lips brushing. “Then I’ll make you a mother,” he whispered against my lips before consuming my mouth with his once again in a powerful and emotional kiss. If I didn’t know what love was before, I knew it well in this moment. I loved Sidney Parker and I always would. He was the only future I knew for certain. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me off the ground, holding me so close to him while we kissed and had a perfect moment together, even if we were soaked from the rain. I wished to be married to him as soon as possible so I could love him as only a wife could.

I pulled away with a start, remembering what was happening back at Sanditon House. I wanted to tell him. I wanted him to know all the obstacles and heartache we had been through for the sake of writing our own future was finally over. “We need to get to Sanditon House. The solicitor is there reading Lady Denham’s Will.”

“Why is that any of our concern?” he asked still holding me off the ground and leaning in to kiss me again. 

“It’s of great concern. We need to know where our fate resides.” A part of me still questioned if the letter was true. Perhaps it was all one of Lady Denham’s tricks to amuse herself even in death. I needed to get back to the house to know if what she wrote in the letter was real and what did everyone else’s letters have to say.

Sidney placed me back on the ground and released me from his grip. Chills ran up my body when our connection was lost. I took Sidney’s hand as he led me towards his horse. He picked me up and hoisted me up on top of the horse. A moment later, he whipped his leg around the saddle and adjusted me, so I was now sitting almost entirely in his lap. “This is highly improper,” I teased, as I settled in comfortably against him.

He chuckled and held me close against him with one hand while he held the reins with the other. “Yes, but necessary,” he whispered against my ear.

“I suppose so,” I agreed. We rode towards Sanditon House, feeling more connected than ever, letting our bodies collide and brush against each other. The warmth I felt being so close to him was intense and something I’d never experienced before. I wanted this moment to never end.

Alas, we rode up in front of Sanditon House. A servant came rushing out of the house and helped me off the horse before Sidney hopped off and handed the reins to him. He bowed and took the horse away. Sidney took my hand before breathing in a sharp breath. We walked into the house and towards the drawing room hand in hand, still soaking wet and dreadfully disheveled. We were quite the sight, indeed. As we walked into the room, all eyes were fixated on me with wide eyes and gaping mouths. The Moreland men stood around their father as he wept over a letter of his own, Mary and Tom held a letter but seemed entirely too shocked to read it as it was still sealed shut. Alison held a letter also, while Mr. Crowe stood beside her for support. Edward and Clara looked angry and shot daggers at me with their eyes. Esther and Lord Babington were the only ones with smiles on their faces. I wondered if they knew about Lady Denham’s plans. The looks on everyone’s faces told me exactly what I needed to know. The letter from Lady Denham was entirely truthful. I had just inherited her entire estate for the sake of Sanditon.

“Ah, there you are Miss Heywood. I was beginning to think you were swept out into the sea,” Mr. Fulton said. “All letters have been delivered to who is here and the Will has been read in its entirety. I'm still looking for a Mr. Sidney Parker and Mrs. Eliza Campion. 

"I'm Sidney Parker," he said.

"Wonderful," Mr. Fulton said handing a folded up letter to Sidney. "Would any of you know how to reach an Eliza Campion?"

"She uh..." Sidney began looking down at the floor and trying hard not to grin. "She's on her way to Antigua. I can't imagine she will return for quite some time."

"That is unfortunate. I suppose I'll have to track her down myself." He turned his attention to me. "I wish you the best of luck. Please contact me if you and your husband wish to write up a Will of your own.” 

“There has to be some mistake!” Edward shouted. “I sat right next to my aunt when she wrote up the new Will. I held it in my hands.”

“As you can see from your letter, she was thoroughly amused by your delusion that you thought she had actually left her fortune to you. I believe she thanked you for that last bit of enjoyment before her death,” Mr. Fulton said. I heard a few people in the room snicker at his comments.

Edward came charging towards me with fire in his eyes. Sidney went to step in front of me, but I pulled him back to face Edward head on. “What did you do to our aunt? Did you poison her while she sleeps? How did you manipulate her into giving everything to you? What are you to her anyway?”

“I did nothing to her. I had no idea this was her plan. I never asked for it and quite frankly I’m not sure I even want the task,” I shouted back.

Edward looked between me and Sidney and focused in on our connected hands. “Mrs. Campion was right. You are nothing but a Trollip.” My heart raced with anger as his face lit up with a satisfying grin. My fist clenched and on instinct, my arm raised and flew towards his face, hitting him right across the cheek with a sharp snap. He stumbled backwards and let out a whiney cry of pain before falling to his knees.

I heard Sidney chuckle beside me. “That’s my girl,” he whispered close to my ear.

Everyone else in the room gasped with astonishment. “Charlotte, what have you done?” Mary asked, surprised by my actions. I too was a little surprised. 

“She was rather brilliant, wasn’t she?” Esther added. 

“Yes, she is,” Isaac Moreland agreed with a prideful grin on his face.

“You can get out of my house now, Edward Denham. You are no longer welcome here,” I said.

He hastily and clumsily stood to his feet and tried to face me again. This time Sidney did step in front of me and stared him down until Edward rushed out of the house. Clara went to chase after him.

“Clara,” I called out. She stopped and turned back towards me. I stepped away from Sidney and walked Clara to the door so we could have a moment to speak. “I understand the position you are in. I know you have been fighting for a better life far too long. I want you to stop fighting and feel secure in yourself rather than trying to find someone else to take care of you.”

“What are you saying?” she asked.

“We are going to be opening a library in Sanditon with all of Lady Denham’s books. We will need someone to oversee the care and upkeep of this library. I will pay you well and give you living accommodations if you accept the position.”

“What about my child?” she asked through tears. “I’d be looked at as what Edward just claimed you of being. My child would have the same type of life I grew up in. I don’t want that.”

“If this is Edward’s child, he should be marrying you. I think he truly wishes to. I don’t think you see how strong his attachment is. Give him a chance to redeem himself in all our eyes by doing the right thing. I will make sure you are both well taken care of if you choose to accept. And if you choose not to marry him, I will do everything in my power to assure not only your protection but that of your child as well.”

“I suppose I don’t have much of a choice. I will accept,” she agreed.

“Lady Denham wants strong women to pave the way for future generations. You can be one of them. You are one of the strongest and most resilient women I’ve ever met. You will be a great asset for Sanditon.”

She smiled as if she was surprised I was showing her so much kindness. I truly wanted that to be what Sanditon was about; kindness. I wanted people to come to Sanditon and feel welcome and accepted no matter their position or path in life. Everyone deserved a chance to change their future if they found it disagreeable. 

Clara left, following behind Edward. Sidney stepped into the front room and took my hands in his with a grin on his face. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked. “You inherited Lady Denham’s fortune?”

“I wasn’t entirely sure if it was true. I received a letter from her while at the cove. She somehow knew I’d be there. Once I stepped in the house and saw how everyone stared at me, I knew then it had to be true. Can you forgive me for not telling you right away?” 

He grinned. “How could I not?”

Heraclitus came running from the other room, tripping over his floppy ears and skidding across the slick marble floors. I scooped him up and introduced Sidney to him. “I guess you could say he’s our first child.”

“I’d say it’s fairly accurate,” Sidney agreed with a chuckle while petting his head.

The Moreland men walked into the front room and said their goodbyes. Isaac Moreland lingered behind a moment. “I’m not sure congratulations are in order, but I do wish you the best. I don’t think there’s a better person to be overseeing Sanditon’s future development than you.”

“Thank you, Mr. Moreland,” I said appreciatively. 

He turned his attention towards Sidney who had somehow snuck his arm around my waist almost as if he was claiming me as his. “You are a lucky man, Mr. Parker. Although, I believe you already know that.”

“I'm well aware,” he said with a tone of pride but also a little contempt. I’d have to reassure him later that he never had anything to worry about, nor will he ever.

Mr. Moreland bowed towards us with a grin and walked out the front door to join his family. 

Sidney turned to face me again and rubbed my shoulders with his large, strong hands and looked me deep in the eyes. "What did your letter say?" I asked, noticing he had opened it.

"It was a rather simple message," he said with a chuckle. "She just told me to take care of you."

"That's all?" I wondered.

"Might be it's all she cared about," he said, taking a step closer to me. “I suppose I understand all your questions from earlier. I hope you know, whatever Lady Denham left you, I won’t touch it if you wish me not to. If she requested you not marry me for that very reason, I will leave it in your name for you to do with what you wish.”

“No. Whoever’s name it’s in doesn’t matter. What matters is we make the decisions together, like you said. For the sake of Sanditon.”

He smiled and nodded his head in agreement. “For the sake of Sanditon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this technically could be the end of the series, but I do plan to write a chapter for Charlotte and Sidney's wedding and wedding night/honeymoon as well as a chapter for Alison and Crowe's wedding. I'll also include a chapter or two of them in Sanditon and doing great things to develop it further and a few more chapters in the future of their marriage. We all want to see them with children, right? Some of these new chapters will have sexual content. If you don't wish to read it, I have a plan to put a symbol in the story at the beginning and ending so you know to skip past that part but still be able to enjoy the rest of the story. I will be sure to add a warning in the notes also. I will be changing the rating of the story to reflect this aspect of the story. 
> 
> I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. 
> 
> Love you all and please keep fighting for more Sanditon on Twitter. I have to keep believing we are close to a second season.


	34. Alison and Crowe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter does have a graphic sex scene that may not be suitable for everyone or may be a trigger to some. Please read with caution. 
> 
> If you DO NOT wish to read this part of the chapter, please don't read Alison's POV at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I am not the greatest at writing sex scenes. It's not my comfort zone, but I still feel like it's a necessary part of the story at times. It could be perfectly fine but it could also totally suck. I'm open to feedback if anyone is willing to share. I'll share a little at the end of this chapter to explain more of their thoughts.
> 
> Also, I have gone over the Heywood children in the show over and over again and have ultimately come up with some names and ages for all of them based on the actors who played them. Not all of them are mentioned in this chapter but may be in future chapters.  
> Charlotte 22   
> Alison 20   
> George 18  
> Simon 16-17  
> Anna 13   
> Emma 12   
> Harrison 10   
> Ellen 9  
> Eli 8   
> Alan 7   
> Gwen 5   
> Rachel 4 
> 
> Personal Note: Last week was extremely busy with one "graduation" or "promotion" ceremony after another. I had every intention of having this chapter as well as the next done at the same time, since I know everyone is anxiously waiting for Sidney and Charlotte's wedding. But it's turning out to be quite a long chapter and taking a little longer than I thought. I will do my best to have it up in a day or two. Since I know everyone is eager for another chapter, I went ahead and posted this one now.

~Sidney~

Lady Denham was laid to rest in a grand ceremony of life. Even in death, she had the last word. She left a letter to be read at the funeral speaking of her life, her time in Sanditon and how she cared deeply for the future of Sanditon and its development. After her burial, there was a splendid feast set up for the entire town at her request with the expectation the town would continue to celebrate her on that day for years to come. She wished everyone to know how much she had done for Sanditon and how her legacy would continue to support and supply the town. Lady Denham knew what she was doing leaving the future of Sanditon in Charlotte’s hands. She knew there was no one greater than Charlotte to continue not only the development of Sanditon but also to continue her legacy. It wasn’t easy for me to take a step back and let Charlotte be in control, but I knew it’s what Lady Denham wanted and as her letter stated, I was to take care of Charlotte. For me, I interpreted that as I was to stand up for her when men wouldn’t listen, protect her from people trying to take advantage, guide her with tough decision, and above all else to simply love her. I found the latter, the easiest to come by. 

I found every excuse possible to visit Sanditon House. Most of the time I would arrive with Mary or even Diana in tow. Charlotte seemed entirely overwhelmed with being responsible for Sanditon. She had changed from the confident and strong woman she was at the building site. Now she seemed as if she didn’t know what to do or how to even run a household. 

We had discovered that Lady Denham had almost entirely depleted her fortune on Sanditon. She had essentially bankrupt herself. All she had left was her house, a few thousand pounds and what I had given her as partial payment for the debt Tom owed. Knowing this fact, I respected and thanked her more than ever for accepting what I had offered. She could have easily thrown my entire family in debtor’s prison, but she didn’t. I can only imagine she did it for Charlotte. I realized even more why she desperately wanted to push Charlotte into the arms of another man with a fortune of his own to fund Sanditon. Someone who was equally interested in developing the town. But Lady Denham was no fool. She knew Charlotte would choose me regardless, which I want to believe is why she insisted I not marry her until the debt was paid in full. At least at that point, the money she had invested would have been replenished and Sanditon could still prosper. She knew I would find every way possible to pay the debt if it meant I couldn’t have Charlotte until I did. I don’t think she expected to die as soon as she did. I believe she thought she’d have another year or two and I would have the time to find the money.

Regardless, continuing with the development of Sanditon would be a tricky task, one Charlotte and I would have to consider carefully going forward. I did not want to end up in a situation like Tom did. Charlotte had come up with a few ideas on how to manage the town going forward and I expected her ideas would be successful, but I worried she may try to be too ambitious. 

Thankfully, she had a few days away from business to spend with her family preparing for Alison and Crowe’s wedding. Alison and Charlotte travelled back to Willingden to finalize all preparations before many others made the trip from Sanditon on the day of the wedding. I didn’t like being separated from Charlotte for any reason, but thankfully it was only a few days. 

Crowe and I arrived the night before the wedding so he could settle in and get a good night’s rest while everyone else got up early and made the long trip the morning of. Mr. Heywood had set up one of his empty houses along his property for Crowe and I. It would serve as a place for Alison and Crowe to stay for the night while the rest of us made the long trip back to Sanditon in the late afternoon. 

Once Charlotte and I had decided, without any doubt, we could finally marry, we sent word to her family to begin having the banns read. Two weeks after Alison and Crowe’s wedding, Charlotte and I would be free to wed. We had no intentions of waiting and had settled on a date in early December, shortly after the last banns would be read. 

Crowe and I were awake early the next day as even more guests like the Babingtons and my own siblings all arrived for the day’s festivities. I was more anxious to see Charlotte. It had only been a few days, but it felt like a lifetime. She had left Heraclitus behind with me knowing she’d be far too busy with preparations to care for him, but I brought him with me now. He had grown almost twice the size in the few short weeks since she got him. He was quite the character, always licking everyone who pet him, wagging his tail everywhere he went, barking only when he wanted attention. His favorite game was to fetch a stick and it always had to be a stick twice his size. He never seemed to realize he was small. He turned out to be a great dog and Charlotte loved him. 

Crowe was a mess the morning of his wedding. One moment he’d be excited and ready, the next minute he would break out in cold sweats and start to feel like he was going to retch. Babington spent a lot of time reassuring him. He desperately wanted a drink to calm his nerves, but out of respect for Alison he never took one… well, no more than a sip just to ease the nerves. I left him in good hands as I walked with Heraclitus across the field towards the Heywood home. I sought out Charlotte to see how Alison was, but more than anything just to see her. Instead, I found her father.

“Mr. Parker, pleasure to see you again,” he said.

“Good day, sir. I was just looking for Charlotte.” Heraclitus was on a lead at my side and Mr. Heywood glanced towards the dog. I thought I could use him as an excuse for seeing Charlotte. She would want to see her dog after all.

“This must be Heraclitus we’ve heard so much about,” he said, leaning down to pat the dog on the head. “Charlotte has told us so much about her new friend.”

“I’m sure she’s been missing him. Is she around?” I asked.

“She’s busy with Alison and her mother. Why don’t you and I take a walk,” he suggested. A twinge of nervousness hit my stomach, but I obliged and followed him out into the cold, crisp morning air. 

“Charlotte has informed us you both plan to wed in Sanditon rather than here in Willingden,” he commented.

“It was more Charlotte’s idea. She considers Sanditon her home now. It’s our home.”

“Yes, she said the same thing. She inherited Lady Denham’s home after her death. The news came as quite the shock when she informed us.”

“As it did everyone else,” I added. “She wasn’t expecting it, nor does she know how to manage everything being thrust upon her.”

“Precisely what I wanted to talk to you about. Once you marry, everything will then be yours.”

“No,” I interrupted. “Charlotte and I already have an understanding. What Lady Denham left her will remain in her name. We will work together to make decisions on how best to use the money for future development in Sanditon as well as our own future. But she will ultimately have all control.”

“Why would any gentleman do such a thing?” he wondered. “Are you expecting her to fail so you will ultimately have to step in?”

I stopped walking and stared at him astonished at what he was suggesting. “Not in the least. I know Charlotte will succeed. She’s too stubborn not to.” I laughed, knowing full well it was true. 

“How exactly do you plan to contribute to the marriage?” he wondered.

“Charlotte did give me back my business in London I had traded to Lady Denham for the debt. Profits are fruitful from my success in the importing and exporting business. Charlotte is eager to learn more about it. Come spring, we will take a trip to London so she can see firsthand what I do. I don’t necessarily do a lot. I have men who oversee things in my absence.”

We stood in the yard facing each other without talking. I knew there was much he wanted to say, but he remained silent for a few minutes just looking out at the leaves falling from the trees around us. “Mr. Parker, I gave you permission to marry my daughter thinking you were an honorable man. I never imagined you would be this noble to let your future wife have the power in the marriage.”

I chuckled. “I’m fairly certain you know Charlotte just as well as I do. Would she even marry a man who didn’t at least entertain her opinions?”

He chuckled as well, surely agreeing with my observation. “I suppose that’s my point for bringing it up. I have worried about her future being such a strong woman. It’s going to take a special man to tame her.”

My lip rose at one side for a half smile while my eyes scrunched. “I don’t have any plans to tame her. My plan is to cultivate her passion to make her stronger. She is capable of so much already. I only see her becoming even more than she already is with my help.”

He smiled and his eyes sparkled with pride. He stepped forward and extended his hand towards me. I glanced down at his hand for just a moment before shaking it. “You are a far better man than most. But for her mother and I, you are a dream come true for our Charlotte. I’m happy to make you part of our family.”

“Thank you, sir,” I said, still a little stunned and unsure what else to say to him. 

“I suppose we will need to make the trip to Sanditon after all,” he mused. 

I chuckled again, stepping in place with him while we continued our walk around the yard. “Charlotte has the staff at the house already preparing rooms for all of you. She’s excited to show you and her siblings everything she’s done in Sanditon.”

“I suppose I’ll have to break my rule of never travelling more than five miles from home this one time.”

“Perhaps you’ll come to love Sanditon as much as everyone else and wish to make it your permanent residence,” I suggested.

“Oh, I doubt it,” he laughed. “It’s a little too busy for my taste. I enjoy the quiet country life.”

“Heraclitus!” Charlotte shouted as she stepped out of the house. She was already dressed in a beautiful cream-colored dress with her hair pulled back under a flowered hat. She leaned down and began petting Heraclitus and letting him lick her face all over. He was just as excited to see her as she was him.

“I suppose we know which man our Charlotte cares about more,” Mr. Heywood teased.

I smiled at his comment but was far too focused on seeing Charlotte to care what he said. What I wouldn’t give for a moment alone with her to pull her close and kiss her. Perhaps later in the day we could sneak off to the bridge she was fond of. Charlotte glanced up at me for a moment and I knew she was wishing for the same thing. 

“Papa, Alison wishes to see you for a moment,” Charlotte said. He bowed towards both of us before ducking into the house to find Alison. 

“How is Mr. Crowe this morning?” she asked, still standing a respectable distance away.

“He’s quite beside himself,” I laughed. “I’ve never seen him so anxious.”

“You don’t think he’s having second thoughts, do you?” she worried.

I smiled at her and took a step closer. “No. I think it’s normal for any man to be nervous on his wedding day.”

“Will you be nervous?” she wondered.

“I’d like to say no, but I doubt I’ll be able to say it’s true on the day of.”

“What would you be nervous about?” she wondered, with a worried expression.

I took a step closer to her, feeling as if we were never close enough. “I suppose hurting you, letting you down, making a fool of myself in front of you.”

She smiled and took a step towards me herself. “I doubt any of those things will ever happen. And if they do, we will work through them.”

I reached out and took her hands in mine and rubbed my thumb across her knuckles. “Of course, we will.”

“I suppose I shouldn’t be too worried about Mr. Crowe being nervous. Alison is just as nervous.”

“Oh? And what is Alison nervous about? She isn’t having second thoughts, is she?” I teased.

Charlotte laughed and looked away for a moment as if she was embarrassed. “I think my sister is more fearful about tonight; being alone and the expectations that come with a marriage.”

“I see,” I chuckled taking another step towards her feeling aroused by her topic of discussion. “And when we are married, will you have those same fears?”

“I must admit, I’m quite thrilled about our first night together, but I doubt I’ll be able to say it’s true on the day of,” she said with a red face.

I smiled thinking about what our first night will be like. “You truly don’t have anything to be worried about,” I assured. “I will take good care of you. As a matter of fact, I’m looking forward to spending some alone time with you.”

“Are you?” she asked with a deep breath, her eyes burned with desire. I wanted so badly to kiss her. 

“Yes,” I breathed.

There was a carriage pulling up in front of the house carrying Charlotte’s brother George and his new bride. Suddenly feeling like we were no longer alone, I reluctantly took a step back and dropped her hands from mine with a heavy sigh.

“What were you and my father talking about?” she wondered, trying to change the subject and look proper in front of family until both her brother and his bride were inside the house.

“You.” I smirked when our eyes met again.

“I don’t like the sound of that.”

“I like your father. He understands you. We are on the same page about who you are and how best to love you,” I said, taking another step closer now that we were once again alone. 

“Do you now?” she said with a grin on her face. I hummed in response as I leaned in closer and stole a sweet and simple kiss. I rested my forehead against hers, savoring every moment of being close to her again.

“I’ve missed you,” I whispered, feeling whole once again at her touch.

“I’ve missed you too. We will be alone in just a few more days,” she said.

I let out a low growl of longing. “I’m looking forward to it.”

We heard people coming out of the house and quickly pulled away. I handed her the lead wrapped around Heraclitus and took a step back. Alison was escorted to the awaiting carriage while her many siblings and parents watched with pride. They called for Charlotte to join them. We walked over and joined her family as the carriage pulled out of the yard and her family followed behind on foot towards the church. I stayed close to Charlotte but made sure I didn’t get too close so as not to be improper in front of her parents. Charlotte’s siblings were infatuated with Heraclitus and wanted to spend more time playing with him than staying with their parents. Many times, Mrs. Heywood had to call for them to keep up and stop dawdling.

When we arrived at the church, I excused myself from Charlotte’s side and went in to find Crowe. He was as white as a sheet as he stood towards the front of the church. I wondered if I would be the same. Babington was slightly nervous on his wedding day, but not nearly as nervous as Crowe appeared. 

I walked over to him and placed my hand on his shoulder rather roughly. “Are you ready, old friend?” I asked.

“I suppose so,” he agreed, yet not sounding convinced. 

“Alison’s outside with her family.”

“Is she?” he asked, his breath coming out in fast-paced pants. 

“What are you so afraid of?” I asked.

“I’m going to disappoint her,” he said quickly.

“Disappoint her how?”

“I’ll be like my father. She will grow to hate me. I won’t be good enough for her.”

“If you were so worried about these things, why did you ask her to marry you?”

He stopped breathing rapidly and stared at me in disbelief. “I asked her to marry me because I love her. I can’t imagine a day without her in it.”

“Precisely,” I said, clapping him on the back with a grin. “Stop worrying about the unknown and just focus on why you’re here. For her.”

He took a deep breath and nodded his head. Moments later, Charlotte and her family walked in and sat down in the front. I sat across from Charlotte and stole glances in her direction, giving her a smile when our eyes connected. I knew she was thinking about our own wedding as I was. 

When Alison walked into the church in a lavender dress, decorated with flowers down the front and lace along the sides, I watched as Crowe’s demeanor changed significantly. He was finally calm and looked overwhelmed with happiness. I imagined I would be the same way when Charlotte and I saw each other on our wedding day. 

Crowe took Alison’s hand from her father and walked her towards the front where the vicar waited. Once again, Charlotte and I took our spots as best man and bridesmaid, standing behind them and serving as witnesses. As we stood next to each other, while the book of common prayer was being recited and repeated by both Alison and Crowe, I stole glances towards Charlotte. I couldn’t help but imagine our own wedding day. Knowing it was only a couple weeks away excited me. Alison and Crowe recited their vows and a ring was placed on Alison’s finger. During the prayer, I reached out and squeezed Charlotte’s hand for only a moment, knowing everyone’s heads would be bowed and we would go undetected. Charlotte glanced towards me with a smile and squeezed my hand in return before we dropped our connection and returned to our posts. 

Once the formalities were done, everyone in the church filed out into the yard to wait while Alison and Crowe signed their names in the registry. 

Mr. Matthew Francis Crowe and Mrs. Alison Elaine Crowe came out of the church, hand in hand to a crowd shouting and congratulating them. They both looked overwhelmingly happy. Crowe walked Alison down the stairs as people threw rice at them. We followed them back to the Heywood residence where a table of food was set up. While everyone began to eat and drink merrily, Charlotte and I kept our eyes on Alison and Crowe who had snuck away to a private corner of the yard. Crowe pulled Alison close, crushing her to him and kissed her fervently. They looked at each other as if no one else was even around. They were in a world of their own.

“Do you think that will be us when it’s our turn?” Charlotte wondered.

I grinned and thought about where I wanted to take her for our honeymoon. “I trust it will.”

~Charlotte~

Weeks went by after Lady Denham’s death. Her funeral was beautiful and heartfelt as nearly the entire town shut down to come pay their respects for the great lady of the town. Alison and I settled into Sanditon House, even though it was strange being there without Lady Denham. I still struggled daily with the tasks I was left. I enjoyed working at the building site, but now it seemed I was in charge of everything and everyone wanted answers or money. It was overwhelming to say the least. One of my biggest challenges was merely managing the house staff. They had always been there before, but now I was expected to give them instruction, menus for the week’s meals, tasks I wanted done. With Lady Denham, she had them manage the house the way she liked, now they expected me to know how I wanted the house managed. I hadn’t the slightest idea what I wanted or how I would want it. Thankfully, I had Sidney come help with paperwork and orders nearly every day. He claimed it was merely to help me, but I think he secretly came just to be with me; at least I liked to believe so. He helped tremendously and I realized how well we work together when we need to. There was no doubt in my mind we would find a way together to continue the development of Sanditon.

The greatest reward out of all of this, besides being able to finally marry Sidney, was when Sidney and I went and collected Georgiana. She no longer had to live in Mrs. Griffiths boarding house, she was going to live with family. She moved into Sanditon House to live with me and Alison. Mr. Crowe had put his father’s home up for sale and was hoping to sell soon so he and Alison could begin building their own home. For now, they would live at Sanditon House once married. Or if they felt the need for privacy, as Lord and Lady Babington finally returned to London, they offered the use of their home. Although, come spring it wouldn’t be very private as renovations would begin. 

Georgiana and I returned to Willingden with Alison a week before her wedding to help prepare. Even though she didn’t want me doing anything extravagant, I couldn’t help myself. I had a special dress made in her favorite color, donned with her favorite flowers embroidered down the front. A piece of the lace that was to be incorporated in my own dress, was also incorporated along the skirt of her dress. She was amazingly beautiful in the dress and she loved it, which was most important.

During the ceremony, Sidney and I stood next to each other serving as best man and bridesmaid like we had done once before at the Babington wedding. This time was different though. At the Babington wedding we stood next to each other, knowing we couldn’t face each other, knowing we couldn’t touch, knowing we would never have what we both longed to have. This time, our minds were filled with thoughts of a future together. In two short weeks, Sidney and I would be married. The thought thrilled me to my core. I spent every moment of my sister’s wedding thinking of my own. 

When we returned to my childhood home after the ceremony, Sidney and I stood next to each other watching Alison and Mr. Crowe intently when they thought everyone was busily eating and visiting. Both of them looked so happy and excited. I had no doubt Sidney and I would be the same if not more.

I loved the little moments Sidney and I found to connect and feel close to each other, but I looked forward to the day when I could kiss him, hold his hand, merely touch him without the fear of being caught. 

As the day went on, I spent most of my time helping my mother replenish food at the table and entertain guests. In the late afternoon, Georgiana, Mary, and myself walked up to the house Mr. Crowe and Sidney had stayed the night before and cleaned it up, left a basket a food and drinks, made the bed, prepared Alison’s nightgown, and left a few other special items for their first night as a married couple. 

When we walked back towards the house, I stopped, noticing Sidney up on the hill with many of my younger siblings and Heraclitus. He had removed his coat and hat, rolled up his sleeves and looked entirely relaxed. I watched as he ran through the grass with my siblings, laughed and scooped up little Rachel, throwing her up into the air and catching her. She giggled with delight which only enticed my other siblings to beg him for the same thrilling adventure. He happily obliged each one of them over and over again. Heraclitus jumped and spun in circles while barking and playing with all of them. I walked closer and stopped a distance away to watch further. I couldn’t help but smile and feel completely and utterly in love with the man who happily entertained my siblings. 

He caught me watching him and grinned. “Alright, who’s next?” he asked. 

Ellen squealed for it to be her turn so Sidney picked her up and tossed her upwards while she screamed with joy. Alan noticed me and came running over to pull me over. “Do Charlotte next,” he shouted.

“No. I don’t think that’s possible,” I laughed.

Sidney smirked as I was pulled towards him by my siblings. “Charlotte’s turn, I see,” he teased while the children screamed for him to do it. He placed his hands at my hips as if he was entirely prepared to throw me up in the air.

“You simply can’t. It would be too inappropriate,” I said, looking at him with fearful eyes.

He stopped, looked into my eyes intently and grinned. Before I could stop him, he quickly lifted me up into the air and spun me around. I screamed from the exhilaration being spun in the cool air caused. As he lowered me to the ground he laughed wholeheartedly, before wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing me, to the sounds of my siblings moaning in disgust to see us kiss. I smiled against Sidney’s lips before releasing myself from his hold and chasing after Emma and Harrison who were making gagging noises. 

Sidney and I played with my siblings for quite a while until we were called back by my parents. Most of the visiting guests from Sanditon were planning to leave, which meant Sidney and I had to leave as well. I gathered my bag from the house and handed it to the driver to be added to the carriage. I hugged all my siblings who all had frowns on their faces to see us leaving. 

“In just a few days, all of you are going to have the adventure of a lifetime when you come see me and Mr. Parker get married in Sanditon. You’ll get to meet Mr. Parker’s nieces and nephews. If it’s not too cold, you can play on the beach and see the ocean, and see what your sister has created in the town of Sanditon.”

“Can we stay with you forever?” Anna asked.

I laughed. “I think mother and father would miss you far too much. But you can definitely come visit me anytime you like. All of you can. Alison will be living in Sanditon as well. You can come visit both of us.”

“Don’t get their hopes up, Charlotte,” my mother chastised.

I looked at her, knowing she had never been anywhere but Willingden. This was going to be an adventure for her too. “Carriages will arrive in ten days. I expect my entire family to be packed and ready to make the trip to Sanditon.”

“Who will stay here and take care of the house?” my mother asked.

“The house will be fine without you for just a few days. I insist, you must come.”

“Charlotte, a word,” my father called. I followed him away from the crowd and waited for what he was about to say. “I saw you playing with your siblings and Mr. Parker earlier.” My stomach turned remembering how Sidney had kissed me in front of them. Was I about to get reprimanded for my improper behavior? My mouth hung open and I was sure my face was turning red. He smiled and softened his expression. “I want you to know, I wholeheartedly approve of your choice of groom. I can tell he adores you more than any man should be allowed, and he has a goodness about him I admire. He is going to make a wonderful father someday.”

I smiled and hugged my father tightly. “Thank you, papa.” I pulled away letting my hands rest at his shoulders. “You will be coming, won’t you? All of you?”

“We wouldn’t miss it for the world. We will all be there.”

My chest filled with excitement and I hugged him one last time before breaking away and hugging each of my family members and stopping in front of Alison. Mr. Crowe had been pulled aside by Sidney for what looked like a tense talk. 

Alison and I hugged, and I whispered in her ear that I loved her and to enjoy herself. After tonight, Alison and Mr. Crowe were on their way to London for a few days for their honeymoon. According to Alison, Mr. Crowe wanted to show her off as his new bride at every social event in London. It didn’t sound like something Alison would enjoy, but she seemed thrilled to be seeing some place new and exciting. Perhaps her trip to London would be more enjoyable than my trip there. 

I scooped up Heraclitus from my brother, Simon and placed him in the carriage with Georgiana. Mr. Crowe and Sidney joined me just outside the carriage. In an unexpected gesture, Mr. Crowe reached out and hugged me. “I never thanked you for bringing Alison into my life.”

I bashfully smiled at him and nodded my understanding. “Just don’t make me regret it,” I teased.

He laughed. “I truly hope you don’t.”

Alison joined him and he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close. “I’ll see you both in a week,” I said. Sidney offered his hand to help me into the carriage and joined me after a quick nod towards everyone. I nestled in close to Sidney with an exhausted Heraclitus on my lap. Georgiana also looked rather tired. I imagined she would fall asleep on the way home. I sort of hoped she would so Sidney and I could have a few moments somewhat alone. It’s all I truly wanted; to be alone with him.

~Alison~

After the long and exhausting day, Matthew and I walked along the path, hand in hand, from my childhood home to the house my father let us stay in for the night. The thought of what was to come was not only thrilling, but also terrifying. I wasn’t naïve to know my new husband was an experienced man and I was not in the least. I had no idea what he would like or how he would like it. More than anything I wished to make him happy. 

In the weeks leading up to our marriage, Charlotte and I had immersed ourselves in a book we had found among Lady Denham’s collection that Charlotte had hidden away. Our mother told us some of what to expect, but she was rather vague in description. What she hadn’t told us we learned from the book.

“What do you expect tonight to be like?” I asked, eager to know what expectations he had.

He grinned and licked his bottom lip like he was thinking. “I would like to say my Alison is not as delicate as everyone perceives her and would be open to trying new things with me.”

“Whatever you want,” I agreed, not really knowing what he meant.

His footsteps quickened as he pulled me along the path. Once inside the house, he quickly wrapped me in his arms and started kissing me with sheer seductive need. The compelling feelings coming from my own body were riveting and I felt the need to beg for more. His lips trailed down my chin and across my neck, settling along my collarbone. I let out a slight moan, which he chuckled at. 

“Turn around,” he ordered. With my eyes fixated on his, trying my best to understand his needs, I did as he said. He kissed my skin at the base of my neck and across my shoulder. I closed my eyes and allowed myself a moment to enjoy his touch. I could hear him drop his pants behind me and then begin to lift my dress up. He bent me over the bed and a sudden fear came over me. I didn’t understand what he was doing. This isn’t what I wanted.

“Wait!” I shouted, standing up and turning around to face him.

He looked confused and maybe a little angry. I kept my eyes focused on his face, knowing below that he was bare. “What’s the matter?” he asked.

“This isn’t what I thought our first time would be like,” I admitted shyly. "I’m not even out of my dress yet.”

He sighed and took a step away from me. I dared a glance down and saw the naked man in front of me, making my heart race with fear. I had looked forward to this moment and now I wasn’t so sure. I watched as he rubbed his face with his hands rather roughly. 

“Will you help me unbutton my dress?” I asked, not sure if he would.

“Of course.” I turned around and with slow and unsure hands he unbuttoned one button after another. His fingertips drew lines down my spine as he continued to the last button. He leaned in and kissed along my neck, leaving me breathless with anticipation. I noticed the nightgown laid out on the bed but decided against it. With a bold move of confidence, I let my wedding gown drop to the floor, leaving me entirely exposed. My heart raced with fears he wouldn’t like what he saw or would find me too forward for our first night together. But it was too late now. It seemed as if he froze when the dress dropped. I slowly turned around, feeling extremely shy and self-conscious. His eyes drew across my body before resting on my eyes. His mouth hung open and his eyes remained fixated on mine. 

“What do you want?” he asked sounding pained. His forehead wrinkled as if he was pained.

“I don’t understand?” I said.

He let out a loud breath and rubbed his face again. “Parker said I needed to be open to what you want. What is it you want?”

“I don’t have any experience, so I can’t honestly know what I want.”

“I’m not sure how to do this with someone who doesn’t know what to do,” he admitted. “I’m rather picky in what I like, but I have to admit this is unchartered territory.”

“Why don’t you tell me what you like first and I’ll tell you if I’m open to it?” I suggested.

He sighed and looked up and down my body again. “I typically don’t like to look at the girl’s face. I prefer to take her from behind.” I understood now why he leaned me over the bed and began to lift my dress. “I can be a little rough at times, not knowing my own strength. I don’t take much interest in making the woman feel joy. I suppose it leads back to my father. He didn’t care about the women he brought home. He just used them for his own pleasures and then made them leave.”

“In other words, women are just objects to be used,” I pondered. 

“I don’t want that to be you. I suppose what I’m saying is, this is all new to me and I’m going to need a little guidance on what you want.”

I stepped towards him, feeling a little more confident. “Can we start with something simple?” I asked. He leaned his head towards mine with a look of yearning. “Can you look at me?”

He nodded his head before our lips met once again in a heated and passionate kiss. Our tongues explored and brushed against each the other. My arms wrapped around his neck and I twisted my fingers around his curly tresses, pulling him closer, feeling as if I wasn’t ever close enough. I wanted to be entirely consumed by him. 

While we still kissed and explored the feel and touch of each other’s body, he scooped me up into his arms and carried me to the bed, lying me down as gently as possible. He took the sight of me in one more time before he crawled over top of me. I was still quite nervous of what to expect, but I tried not to think and just focus on my husband. My breath was labored, and my body responded to his touch in ways I had no control over. I arched my back, silently begging him for more as his tongue trailed down my stomach and across my breasts. I moaned and ran my fingers through his hair. He chuckled, before moving back to my face and kissing my mouth again. I allowed my fingers to explore his chest and around to his back. He stopped kissing me for a moment and stared into my eyes. His eyes were dark with desire and his breath was ragged against me. He shifted his weight to one arm and reached down with the other to pull my leg up and running his fingers along the inside of my thigh. I followed his lead and opened my other leg as well. He reached between my legs and with one quick motion, a sudden thrust of heat came between my legs. I gasped and held my breath for a moment, feeling quite overcome. He didn’t move for a moment but wouldn’t look at me either. His eyes were closed tightly, and his face was scrunched as he let out small gasps of air. 

As I got used to the sensation of him being inside of me, I rolled my hips against him causing him to growl and look even more pained. I brushed my fingers against his cheek and rubbed my thumb along the wrinkles on his forehead trying to relax them. “Look at me,” I whispered. His eyes shot open with a look of fear. I smiled at him to let him know I was alright, and he was too. I leaned up and kissed him and arched my body into him. He moaned again and slowly started to move his body against mine. Slow at first then quicker and more ardently, causing the most wonderful feeling inside of me. I had never felt such an amazing sensation and I could only conclude this was what people got married for. 

He let out a loud moan making me think for a moment I had done something wrong, but when I saw the happy expression on his face, I knew he had to have felt the same rush of exhilaration as I had. When he pulled out of me, I felt like there was a loss I didn’t want to lose. He rolled to his back and let out a long sigh. I sat up on my elbow and looked over his body admiring the way his muscles along his stomach were slightly defined. I let a single finger trace the lines ever so gently. His stomach tightened at my touch and he chuckled lightly. He quickly grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing my knuckles and resting our entwined hands against his heaving chest. 

“Are you alright?” he asked.

I sighed with a happy grin. “I’m more than alright.”

“Did you like it?” he wondered. “I do want to know if you enjoy it or not so I can gauge where we go from here.”

“I liked it very much and am open to plenty more.”

“Alright,” he said, leaning back against the pillow and staring up at the ceiling.

His word caught me off guard. I thought he would say more like if he enjoyed it or that he looked forward to more too. I felt a sudden moment of dread. I had done something wrong. He wasn’t happy.

“Did I do something wrong?” I asked. 

He sat up with a shot, leaning against his elbow so he matched my position. “Of course, not. Why would you think you did something wrong?” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and brushed his finger along my chin in a gentle gesture.

You seem distant. It scares me,” I admitted. 

He smiled and let his thumb trace a line along my cheek while his fingers tangled in my hair. “I have never been so happy in my entire life. I enjoyed every moment. I’m just a little overwhelmed. You know I’m not naïve in this department, but what we just did was a first for me and it was rather intense. I’m trying to get my bearings so we can make love again, and again, and again.” He grinned seductively as he spoke before leaning in and kissing me. I let my elbow drop and lay back against the bed as he followed me, hovering over me once again while we kissed.

I decided in that moment, I would be perfectly fine if we spent the rest of our honeymoon wrapped around each other in this house instead of going to London.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First: In case it's unclear, Crowe is not a very romantic man. He has been raised to look at women as objects rather than a partner. He's trying to change that because he does truly love Alison and wants to make her happy, but he also sees how his friends Babington and Sidney have changed and settled down and he wants the same. Remember he hasn't had the greatest role models in his life, so he's learning from his friends. At first, he starts to treat Alison like he would a woman in a brothel, but then realizes he's messing up. He's very conflicted and doesn't know what to do. The whole not looking in a woman's eyes, I felt would be something he would do. Either she's turned away from him or possibly uses a blindfold just to take some of the personal aspect away. He takes what he needs and is done. But Alison won't let him do that and makes him look at her, which is a new thing for him and like he says "intense". He's still trying to come to terms with this new development. In a way, I wanted to make it as if this was a first for both of them. 
> 
> Second: I will post a picture of Alison's wedding dress on Twitter at some point. I've already posted Charlotte's wedding dress a while ago, but will do it again after her wedding happens.
> 
> Third: This story made it into the finals of the Sanditon Survival Book Club Awards on Facebook for the continuation category. I was incredibly shocked that it made it to the second round, but entirely humbled that so many of you voted for this as your ultimate favorite. To even be in the same category as the other writers is overwhelming. I just want to thank whoever nominated this story to begin with, but also everyone who voted for this story in the first round and the second round. I am so thankful for all of you commenting and encouraging me to keep going. It's because of all of you that I write this story (and because we don't have a second season yet). If you haven't voted, Monday is the last day. I know it's hard to choose one story to vote for when there are so many good ones. Whichever story you choose, I'm sure the writer will appreciate it.


	35. The Only Wedding That Matters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Once again, there is sexual content in this chapter. It's towards the end and I've added this symbol **~** right before incase anyone doesn't wish to read it. 
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys this wedding and wedding night. It's a super long chapter. I had fun writing this.

~Charlotte~

When we arrived back at Sanditon House, after the long trip from Willingden, Georgiana went straight up to her room to go to bed. I stayed outside with Heraclitus and Sidney lingered behind walking in the moonlight with me. He reached for my hand and in the darkness pulled me close and kissed me passionately and urgently. Our bodies swayed back and forth as our mouths discovered what they had been missing the last few days being apart. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down to me while I stood on my tiptoes to reach him further. When he stopped kissing me, he let out a long sigh and rested his forehead against mine.

I kept thinking about if he hadn’t come back and still been on his way to Antigua. Could we have gone two years not seeing each other? I truly didn’t think so anymore. 

“If we ever run into Mrs. Campion again, remind me to thank her for boarding that ship with you,” I said. 

Sidney laughed and lifted his head from my forehead so he could look directly at my face. “I suppose I have much to be thankful for in that one decision she made. I don’t know if I’d go as far as thanking her though. I am glad I had the good sense to jump off the ship. Perhaps someday I'll be able to get my trunk with much of my clothing back. Thankfully there was nothing too important in there.”

“I don’t wish to ever be parted from you again,” I said sincerely.

“We won’t have to after a fortnight,” he assured.

“What do you suppose my sister and Crowe are doing right now?” I wondered.

Sidney looked down like he was embarrassed by my question. “I’m sure they are enjoying themselves. I’m quite jealous, to be honest. I wish it was us who got married today and it was us who were sharing a bed tonight. I’m finding it hard to restrain myself when I’m with you.”

“It’ll be here before we know it. We will survive,” I assured.

He groaned and pushed his forehead against mine with a bit of force. “I know you want to wait, but it’s excruciating for me.”

“How so?” I wondered completely unfamiliar with these matters.

“My entire body craves your touch, your kisses, your breath against my skin. I’m dying to be alone with you and make you mine,” he said through gritted teeth.

I leaned up and kissed him, letting my lips linger against his. “It won’t be long.”

He sighed again. “The longest two weeks of my life, I’m sure.”

“Where are you taking me for our honeymoon?” I asked. He had been so secretive about where he was taking me only asking rather bizarre questions like if I would need someone to help dress and undress me or if I knew how to cook and if I wanted to go to a big city like London or if I’d rather go somewhere more quiet and secluded? Of course, I chose somewhere secluded. It seemed as if everywhere we went there was someone standing nearby, whether it was a family member, a member of the house staff, or even just a stranger on the street. We were surrounded at all times. This moment we had outside in the dark was a rare moment that never happened. Even though I was freezing, and I was sure he was too, we still didn’t move to go inside where we would once again be surrounded.

“Somewhere special,” he answered vaguely.

I sighed. “I wish you would at least give me a hint so I know what I should pack.”

He chuckled. “I don’t think you’ll need to pack much. I highly doubt we will leave the bed much.”

“Sidney!” I reproached.

He laughed more and pulled me to him again. “I’m only giving you the hint you asked for.”

I looked up at him, letting our bodies sway back and forth. “No theatre or social events?”

“Not unless you wish to attend one.”

“Not particularly. But if you had something in mind, I’d be happy to attend. I just need to know whether to pack for such an event.”

He sighed as if he was contemplating telling me. “It’s truly not as extravagant as you may think it is. On reflection, you may not even enjoy where we are going. However, it’s someplace quiet and secluded like you wished it to be.”

“I’ll be happy with wherever we are going as long as I’m with you.” He smiled and kissed me again.

Heraclitus barked in the distance and I called for him to come back. Within a few minutes, he was at my feet, showing me what a good dog he was for coming when told. Sidney took my hand and walked me back towards the house with Heraclitus following behind us.

I let out a deep sigh as we entered the house and looked around.

“Something the matter?” Sidney wondered. 

“Sometimes I hate coming into this house. I feel as if Lady Denham should be meeting me with some sort of contempt for my behavior and when she isn’t, I suddenly feel guilty. I wasn’t very kind to her those last few days leading up to her death. I blatantly told her she didn’t make me feel welcome and got mad at her repeatedly for trying to tell me not to marry you and to choose someone else. I wish there was a way I could go back and apologize for my behavior.”

“I honestly don’t think she thought much of it. On the contrary, I believe she enjoyed the arguing and the fight you had for what you believed in. Like she said, she hopes she taught you how to be a strong pillar in this community. She fought with you so she could teach you how to handle difficult situations as well as difficult people like her. To stand up for what you believe and not back down to anyone. Not even Lady Denham.”

“I suppose you’re right. I hope with time, I’ll stop expecting to see her when I walk in.”

“I did want to talk to you about something,” he began looking more serious and even a little pained. “We don’t have to talk about it tonight if you’re too tired. I can come back tomorrow.”

I smirked. “Even if you tell me whatever it is you wish to talk about, you will still find some excuse to come tomorrow.”

He stepped forward and took my hands in his with a grin on his face. “I suppose you’re right. I will need to check on Georgiana, after all.”

“Of course, you will,” I agreed playfully. 

I giggled before looking at him expectantly. His face turned serious again. His forehead wrinkled as if he was afraid to tell me whatever it was he wanted to talk about.

“I’m afraid I may need to ultimately make that trip to Antigua after all,” he admitted. “The fortune Lady Denham left you is not enough long term to substantially support this town, this house, as well as our own future. Your father got me thinking about what I’m contributing to this marriage and even though I do bring a good amount from my London business and a few other minor investments, I fear we will eventually run out and this town will falter. I still have the acquaintance in Antigua who is eagerly awaiting my arrival. I can go and try to make more money.”

“After we are married, of course,” I said.

“Of course,” he agreed.

“Then I can go with you, if we are married.”

“Charlotte, someone would need to stay here to care for Sanditon,” he argued.

“I’ll put someone in charge in my absence. I don’t plan to be separated from you for more than a couple days at a time. You are my home. Wherever you are is where I will be.”

“And who will watch over Georgiana and even Heraclitus while we are away?” he argued. “There’s so much planned for the theatre next summer. You will need to be here. I won’t leave right away. I can wait a few months so we can have some time as a married couple.”

“Georgiana and Heraclitus will be just fine without us. And if you’re so worried about them, they can come with us. Everything happening here can be overseen by people we trust. Every argument you have of why I shouldn’t go with you, will be proven futile. You won’t win this argument, Sidney!”

He smirked at my comment and nodded his head. “I suppose I won’t win a lot of arguments with you.”

“We could have our honeymoon there. It might be a rather long honeymoon, nevertheless, an exciting adventure.”

Sidney shook his head. “No. I’m taking you somewhere else with more meaning. Somewhere special.”

“But you won’t tell me where?”

“No,” he laughed.

“Well then. I suppose I’ll have to wait to be surprised.”

I walked a few feet away to take off my pelisse and Sidney noticed for the first time the portraits on the wall behind him. “Charlotte, what have you done?” He stared up at the wall in disbelief. 

I joined him and looked at what he was looking at feeling rather pleased. High up on the wall were three portraits, one of Lady Denham and the other two of her two husbands. Below those was the portrait of Sidney that Mary had given me. I had asked the staff to put them up while I was gone. I think they did an excellent job and exactly how I wanted them. 

“Do you not like it?” I wondered.

“You have that awful painting of me on the wall for all to see when they walk in.”

“I know you don’t care for the painting and it doesn’t look a thing like you, but I enjoy looking at it and think it only fitting, as the lady of the house now, it be on the wall with Lady Denham’s husbands.”

“The first thing we do when we are married is commission a painter to come paint a portrait of both of us to replace that painting,” he demanded.

“If that’s what you want, I suppose I could agree. But the painting stays regardless.”

“I would rather you return it to Trafalgar House, so I don’t have to see it as often.”

“It stays,” I demanded. I looked at him determinedly. Hadn’t we just discussed how he wasn’t going to win many arguments?

He sighed and shook his head. “For now.”

He kissed me goodnight and left for the night. I knew he’d be back bright and early the next morning like he normally was. We would discuss this potential trip to Antigua and figure out when it would be essential to leave if we decided to go at all. 

All through the night, I wondered about my sister. I wondered if she was happy. I wondered if Mr. Crowe was taking care of her and being gentle with her. I almost wished I had stayed an extra night in Willingden, so I could ask her all about her first night as a married woman before she left for London. Beyond that, I imagined what it must be like to wake up to the man you love every morning. I sighed dreamily thinking about it. In just two weeks I’d be waking up with Sidney next to me. I could barely endure the anticipation.

An uneventful week went by while we waited the return of Alison and Mr. Crowe as well as the arrival of my family. Everything was entirely overwhelming. In a week’s time Sidney and I would be married. Announcements had gone out, bannes had been read, arrangements had all been made, my dress fitting was the morning of my family’s arrival, which I was grateful for. It gave me something to keep me occupied while I waited. Georgiana accompanied me to my fitting and was in awe of the dress I had created with the seamstress. The same lace that overlaid Alison’s dress also overlaid mine. Under the lace was a beautiful light blue satin with a blue ribbon across the front. 

“Charlotte, it’s beautiful!” Georgiana gushed.

“You don’t find it too extravagant?” I asked.

“Not at all. Besides, it’s your wedding day. You have every right to be extravagant.”

“I feel a bit guilty for spending money on a dress when there are so many other things in Sanditon that need our attention.”

Georgiana rolled her eyes. “You are being ridiculous. There’s nothing wrong with spoiling yourself once in a while, especially when getting married.”

“I suppose you’re right,” I agreed, looking down and swooshing the skirt around. I loved how comfortable and flowy the dress was. 

“Do you have everything else ready?” I asked the seamstress.

“I do, miss. I’ve had all my best people working on your requests. Everything will be ready, and we will bring it all to Sanditon House tomorrow morning.”

“Wonderful.”

“What are you up to, Charlotte?” Georgiana asked curiously.

“I had a new outfit made for each of my family members. Most of them have never had something new. I want this trip to be extra special for them.”

“I thought you said extravagance made you feel guilty?” she teased.

“This is for my family, not for me. Sidney and I discussed it and he was in agreement. My father is going to think it unnecessary and my mother will think I’m spoiling my siblings, but I don’t care. It’s only this one time.”

Georgiana grinned and shook her head at how I rationalized the purchase. I knew it was extravagant, and my parents would disapprove, but I didn’t care. I was too excited to have them all here in Sanditon for such a special event, that I had to spoil them just a little. 

“Now,” I began, sitting down next to Georgiana. I took her hands in mine and looked at her excitedly. “What is my bridesmaid planning to wear?”

“Your bridesmaid?” she asked hesitantly.

I nodded my head and grinned. “Yes. I’d like you to be my bridesmaid, Georgiana.”

She giggled and hugged me tightly. “Are you sure?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I want you to be my bridesmaid? You’re my best friend. Will you stand up with me?”

“Absolutely. I’d be honored.” There was no one else I’d want to stand next to me while I married Sidney. Georgiana was a huge part of our lives and our story. She was our family.

Later in the day, I stood in front of Sanditon House awaiting the arrival of my family. I had received a letter from Alison a few days prior informing me Mr. Crowe had sold his father’s home, so they needed to stay in London a few days longer to finalize the sale with the bank. I was disappointed she wouldn’t be here when our family arrived, but I had Georgiana here with me as well as Sidney, who stood proudly next to me. 

When we saw the carriages coming up the road, butterflies hit my stomach. Heraclitus began barking at the commotion. I could hear my younger siblings squealing and shouting from the carriages. Some of them hung their heads out of the windows as they got near. I waved excitedly as they pulled in front of the house.

Doors pushed open and kids rushed out of the carriages towards me. “Charlotte!” they all shouted. I was bombarded with hugs and screams of excitement. My mother, looking apprehensive, stepped out of the carriage and looked up at the house with amazement. My father joined her side and shared her same expression. 

“Come inside, children. We have refreshments set up in the drawing room,” Georgiana instructed. All of them went rushing inside while staff began to unload trunks and bags from the carriages to bring inside. 

“This is all yours?” my father questioned. I smiled and nodded my head. 

“I knew from your letters and our conversations that it was a rather large house, but this is beyond anything I could have imagined,” my mother said. 

“It might look big, but it doesn’t feel quite as big once you’re inside,” Sidney added.

“Mr. Parker, nice to see you again,” my father said extending his hand towards Sidney and looking him up and down. They shook hands politely. “I wasn’t aware you would be here.”

Sidney grinned, knowing what my father was truly asking. “I only came to visit for your arrival.”

“I see.”

“If you wish me to leave, I will,” he offered.

My mother cut in. “Nonsense. You’re part of the family now. Of course, you would want to be here for our arrival.” I smiled at my mother, silently thanking her for her approval. If they only knew just how much Sidney was actually at the house, they would probably disapprove. But at least in just a few more days, they wouldn’t have anything to say.

“Where is your sister?” my father asked. “Wasn’t she to return by now?”

“I received a letter from her. Mr. Crowe sold his father’s home, so they are delayed a few days while they finalize the sell. She assured me they would be back for the wedding.”

We heard shouting from inside the house. We all rushed inside to see what was happening. My siblings were running around the house while Georgiana and a few servants did their best to wrangle them. Mother and father attempted to calm them, but that many children confined to a carriage for so many hours and now putting them in a large house with lots of room to run around had caused them to be overwhelmingly hyperactive. 

Sidney whistled really loud and stopped almost all of them in their tracks. Even the dog stood at attention, who was very familiar with Sidney’s whistle. “Who wants to go with me to give Heraclitus a walk?” he asked. Nearly all of my siblings jumped up and down with excitement and begging voices. Sidney whistled again. “Ask your mother and father for permission first?”

The begging voices turned to them, which were met with nods of approval. Georgiana offered to go also since many of my siblings adored her already. I laughed as Sidney left the house with a gaggle of children following behind him. He scooped up little Rachel and carried her on his shoulder. Thankfully Sidney was familiar with children and knew after such a long trip what the children needed more than anything was a place to run around freely and get some energy out of their system. Growing up, that was always mine and Alison’s job while my mother took care of the house and the chores. 

“This is a beautiful home,” my mother said, taking it all in. “Lady Denham must have been one wealthy woman.”

“Yes, she was. Although, she put most of her fortune into developing Sanditon. Sidney and I will need to figure out what to do next for the town to continue to prosper.”

One of the servants brought in a pot of tea and offered a cup to both of my parents. They sat down and continued to look around the house in amazement while sipping on their tea. 

“He does know how to manage children, right?” my mother asked.

I laughed. “Of course, he does. He has four nieces and nephews he spends a lot of time with.”

“Four is not nearly as many as there are out there. I worry about them getting too close to the water,” my mother said.

“I’m quite certain Mr. Parker knows how to manage our children. Remember how he played with them at Alison’s wedding?” my father reminded. My mother smiled and nodded her head.

“He won’t take them down by the water. We have your visit all planned out here. Tomorrow morning after breakfast, I have a special surprise for everyone, after that we will go down to the beach, then in the evening we have invited Sidney’s family for dinner. The following day, I plan to take all of you into town to see what I’ve been working on these last few months. I’ll show you the gazebo Sidney had built down by the river, weather permitting, we may have a picnic at the gazebo, and afterwards I have invited Mr. Hankins and Mrs. Griffiths, whom are to be married come spring to come for dinner. Mr. Hankins will be performing the wedding.”

“And what after that?” my father asked.

“We will have plenty to keep everyone occupied. I know it’s cold outside, but the town and the sea are beautiful this time of year. I believe Sidney has some business adventures he’d like to discuss with you, father.”

“What can I do to help? Show me to the kitchen and I can begin to fix dinner at least,” my mother offered.

I smiled. “You don’t need to do anything but relax. We have staff who take care of the cooking. They have been looking forward to your arrival and have been cooking up all kinds of things. I even gave them a few of your recipes so they can make up some of our favorites from home.”

“Seems strange to have someone waiting on you and taking care of the house,” she thought.

“It’s taken some getting used to, but all the staff are very kind and I consider most of them friends rather than just servants. They truly take care of us because they want to.”

“I have a feeling some of your siblings may never want to leave after visiting here,” my father added, causing me to laugh. I knew it was quite possible. I hoped my parents would at least agree to visit often.

“Where are George and Jane?” I asked, realizing they didn’t arrive with the family. 

“They will be here in a few days. George didn’t want to leave his farm for so long. He’s attending to our animals in our absence and will have Jane’s family look after ours and their farms while we are here,” my father explained.

“How are you feeling, my dear?” my mother asked. “Are you nervous? Alison was very nervous leading up to her wedding. Are you feeling the same?”

“Not particularly. I am more excited than anything. Sidney and I have wanted this for so long and after so much standing in our way, we are both ready to make it official,” I said, taking a sip of my tea.

“How is Mr. Parker feeling?” my father asked.

“I believe he feels the same way. When we got back after Alison’s wedding, he kept saying he wished it was us who married that day.”

“Perhaps we should check on him and the children,” mother suggested. We stood and walked out of the house and out towards the trees. Sidney and Georgiana had them playing games and running around in the grass. My mother and father laughed seeing them having fun. 

My mother took my hand and squeezed it. She looked at me with a loving expression. “He’s going to be a wonderful father.”

I watched Sidney with pride, knowing she was entirely correct in her observation. More than anything, I wanted to be a mother like my own. 

~Sidney~

As much as I wanted to spend time with Charlotte’s parents, I felt more comfortable being outside with her siblings. We played some great games and got a bunch of built up energy out of our systems. Even Georgiana joined in with some of the games. 

“I remember you playing some of these games with me in my younger years,” Georgiana said as she joined me while we watched the children run freely around the yard. 

“Do you?” 

“You were always so kind to me when I was little. Then you took me away,” she reminded.

“I didn’t take you away. Your father asked me to accompany you,” I corrected. “I had no idea what was going to happen. If I did, I wouldn’t have let him stay.”

“He seemed to know it was going to happen. Otherwise he wouldn’t have sent his Will to you.”

“Yes. I do believe he knew it was going to happen, or at least knew something was going to happen. I question everyday why I didn’t see it coming myself. Why didn’t he tell me? What signs did I miss? What could I have done to prevent what happened or change the outcome?” I sighed, contemplating whether or not to continue. “I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes; in my own life and even in yours. I’m not perfect, even though I’d like to think I am. One thing your father taught me was even though we are raised to believe something is right, doesn’t always mean it is. Sometimes we may never see how wrong we are, but if we do see we were wrong in our actions, we change it. I can’t change the past, but I can rewrite the future. Your father and I both gave up the sugar trade, freed our slaves and tried to do better. I’m still trying to do better with you. I realize I’m not the right man to be your guardian and I still have absolutely no idea why your father left the responsibility to me. I’ve failed and made plenty of mistakes with you. All I can do is continue to try my best to make amends by striving to do better. I hope in the last months I have done that for you.”

She had tears in her eyes as I told her my truth but had an angry expression. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I’ve tried many times, but it was difficult for me to admit that I failed. I was still angry at myself and angry at your father, which made me feel guilty for being angry at him. I didn’t want to face my own mistakes. It’s still difficult to do so. When I discovered Mrs. Campion was involved in slave trade, I knew in that moment, despite the need for the money, I couldn’t marry her. I would not do that to you.”

“I suppose you expect me to forgive and forget?” she wondered.

“No. I don’t want you to forget. I want you to remember all the hurt I’ve caused so you can remind me when I’m doing it again. I’m quite certain I will at some point,” I explained. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I do hope for a second chance to make things right.”

She stared at me with bewilderment before Charlotte joined us. “Everything alright?” she asked, sensing the tension between us. 

I smiled at her and nodded my head. “Another hour of running around and they should all be ready for bed, don’t you think?”

“You don’t know my siblings very well,” she teased.

“Two hours then,” I laughed.

"Sidney," Georgiana said getting my attention. "Thank you. For... everything."

I nodded my head and gave her a half smile. It wasn't perfect, but for once Georgiana and I had made peace with each other. I didn't need to explain to Charlotte what had happened. She knew enough to figure it out on her own. Charlotte tucked her arm around Georgiana's and walked out towards her siblings.

After the children ran around and played some games for a while, we went back inside and had dinner before Charlotte showed everyone to their rooms. We had a quick moment to say goodbye before we were interrupted by Charlotte’s mother. We both sighed a laugh before I left the house and headed for Trafalgar House. I had to keep telling myself it was only a few more days before we would be entirely alone. 

I walked into Trafalgar House and found Tom in his office. He was pacing the floor and occasionally saying something under his breath. He was clearly thinking hard on something. A part of me feared what his mind what creating.

“Something bothering you, Tom?” I asked.

“Sidney! Just the man I was hoping to see.” I always worried when he greeted me so eagerly. He usually wanted something like money. 

“I have had the greatest idea! It’s a sure thing and bound to make Sanditon even more popular to the entire beau monde.” 

I rolled my eyes and sat down in a chair, resting my arm across the side and settling in for him to pitch his idea. “What is it, then?”

“Arab Stallions!” he announced with grand hand gestures to add to the appeal.

“What about them?” 

“Think on it, Sidney! When the weather is too cold for sea bathing, we can offer our Arab Stallions for horseback rides or even open carriage rides along the beach or through the countryside.”

“You don’t know anything about Arab Stallions, let alone horses in general. Where do you even plan to find them? Where would you keep them?”

“Leave all that to me,” he said. “I’ll find out where to get some. We can hire a man or two to care for them. We will just need to build a stable.”

“All costing plenty of money; money we don’t have,” I reminded.

“Sidney, in due time all that money invested will be replenished tenfold. I’m sure of it.”

“I have no doubt something of this magnitude could have potential, but right now I can’t see it being possible. Charlotte and I are already considering travelling to Antigua to meet up with my contact and find out about this investment he’d like me to be a part of. We can’t risk spending more money right now when we don’t know what the future holds.”

“I’m only asking you to consider it. That is all. Talk to Charlotte. Tell her how good it’ll be for the town. I’m sure she would agree.”

I sighed and pursed my lips. “I’ll talk to her,” I agreed.

“That’s all I ask, brother.” He left the room with a skip in his steps. This was ultimately going to be a lifelong battle with him. I didn’t doubt he had good ideas at times, but he was too ambitious and overextended himself far too many times. I couldn’t allow him to bring Charlotte down with him. 

The next morning, I got up bright and early and headed out to Sanditon House like I had done nearly every day since I returned from London. I was greeted at the door by the staff who had come to expect me. 

“Charlotte is in the dining hall with her family, Mr. Parker.”

“Thank you.”

Familiar enough with the house, I showed myself to the dining hall where Charlotte sat with her family. 

“Back already, Mr. Parker?” Mr. Heywood greeted from across the room.

“Yes, sir. I uh, I have some contracts that just arrived from London for Charlotte to look over,” I said, knowing full well I was lying. I held up the fake documents in my hand to deepen the lie.

“Oh, wonderful!” Charlotte said, eagerly jumping up from her chair and coming over to see them. I handed her the fake papers and watched as she studied them intently. “This is great.” She turned towards her family and shook the papers in front of all them. “I need to sign these documents so I can get them sent out as soon as possible. I’ll be back in a moment.”

I hastily followed her down the hall towards the office and shut the door behind us. She quickly wrapped her arms around my neck, dropping the fake papers to the ground and crushed her lips to mine. I pulled her close and molded her body against mine. I moaned against her mouth, far too aroused not to. 

“Three days,” she whispered. 

I rested my head against hers and let out an agonized sigh. “I don’t think I can make it. I just want one moment alone.”

She kissed me again, letting her lips linger against mine. “Do you want to stay for breakfast?” she asked. 

I smiled and pulled her in for another kiss. “I’d love to.”

We released and gathered up the papers that were now scattered across the floor. I pulled her to me for one last kiss. She rested her hands against my chest and let them trail down my stomach. “By the way, Sidney. I enjoy the leather waistcoat and pants,” she teased with a grin. She looked me up and down mischievously before opening the door to leave. I glanced down noticing what I had worn and smiled, feeling more aroused than before. I would have to wear the leather more often if she liked it so much. 

I followed Charlotte into the dining hall and folded the papers up sticking them in the inside pocket of my jacket to keep up with the ruse. “Mr. Parker is going to join us for breakfast. Isn’t that wonderful?” Charlotte announced. Her siblings cheered with delight. I sat down at the table and began to fill a plate with food as I looked around the table at all of Charlotte’s siblings. 

“Were the documents signed with Sidney’s personal pen?” Georgiana asked with a smirk. I glared playfully at her from across the table.

“What are these documents that are so important?” Mr. Heywood wondered. My heart raced as I tried to come up with a bigger lie.

“Just some paperwork from the banks, father,” Charlotte answered. I glanced her direction and gave her a knowing smile. She grinned back and raised an eyebrow. I had gotten so good at reading her facial expressions. I knew this sneaking around her parents was exciting for her. 

“Mr. Heywood,” I began trying to change the subject. “My brother, Tom is interested in starting an Arab Stallion stable here in Sanditon for visitors to rent. He thinks during the colder months when sea bathing isn’t as possible people may still like to take a ride on horseback or an open carriage through the countryside or along the coastline. What is your opinion of the idea?”

“I think it’s a fine idea. Mr. Tom Parker is always full of grand ideas, there’s no denying that.”

“How much is this going to cost him?” Charlotte asked, knowing full well he had no way to finance the notion.

“I haven’t run the numbers, but I’m sure it would be a great deal,” I answered her. “He’d also need to hire men to care for the horses since he wouldn’t have the slightest idea how to care for them himself. There’d also need to be a stable built.”

Charlotte sighed. “I hope you told him it wasn’t possible right now,” Charlotte said.

“Why is it not possible?” Charlotte’s mother wondered.

“I could help,” Charlotte’s brother Simon offered. “If you’re looking for someone to care for the horses, I could stay and do it.”

“That’s kind of you, Simon, but I don’t think we can make it happen right now. I don’t doubt it would be a potential selling point to visitors, but right now, there’s not enough money to make it possible,” Charlotte explained.

“I did tell Tom the exact same thing, but you of all people know how he is once he gets an idea in his mind. He won’t stop until it’s followed through to the end.”

“Perhaps I can talk to him,” Charlotte offered. “We will see them tonight.”

“That’s right. The Parker family is coming for dinner tonight,” Mr. Heywood said. 

“I’m looking forward to my siblings meeting Tom and Mary’s children. They will all be the best of friends. I’m sure of it,” Charlotte said.

“Hear that, children?” Mrs. Heywood said, getting all of their attention. “Tom and Mary Parker’s children are coming for dinner tonight. I expect all of you to be on your best behavior and in your nicest clothing.”

“About that,” Charlotte began. “Your surprise.” Charlotte got up from the table and asked everyone to follow her into the drawing room. I followed even though I knew I should have left. Inside the drawing room were racks of clothing sitting out. I want all of you to have something new to wear for the wedding, even mother and father. This has been a great undertaking for the local seamstress. She has been working night and day to get everything done. I hope I did alright in the measurements.”

“Charlotte, you shouldn’t spoil them so,” my mother reprimanded. 

“It’s only for this one time. All of you deserve something new once in a while. I know you and father supported us well and did the best you could to provide us with plenty, but I want to repay all that kindness you have shown me growing up.”

“Didn’t you just get done telling Mr. Parker there wasn’t enough money for Tom’s potential Arab stallion business? How do you have enough money for all this?” Mr. Heywood wondered.

“That’s for me to worry about, father,” Charlotte said. “Besides, a few outfits for my family isn’t nearly as much as an Arab stallion would cost us.”

Charlotte’s siblings began searching through the outfits to find the one with their name on it. The girls were given satin dresses in a cream color with different colored ribbons around the waist, while the boys were given new pants and crisp white shirts with dark blue vests. Her father even had a matching vest. Her mother was given a dark blue satin gown with gold trimming. I wondered if the blue was an indication to Charlotte’s own wedding gown.

“This is far too much, Charlotte,” her mother complained. 

“It’s something I wanted to do. And Sidney was in agreement,” she added. I nodded my head politely when Mrs. Heywood turned in my direction.

Mrs. Heywood and Charlotte hugged for a moment before Mrs. Heywood made all the children take off their new outfits and put them away, so they didn’t get dirty. Some of the girls whined that they had to take them off, but they did as their mother said and each outfit was hung back on the rack for safekeeping.

Shall we go for a stroll along the coastline now?” Charlotte suggested. “It’s rather cold out, so everyone should dress warmly.”

“I’ll be staying here, thank you,” Georgiana announced. “I have no interest in the sea in this weather.”

“We will be back later this afternoon,” Charlotte said. 

Once all of Charlotte’s siblings were dressed and in their warmest clothing, we headed out across the yard of Sanditon House and towards the beach. Even with the chilly wind hitting our faces, everyone enjoyed themselves. The children especially loved seeing the water and a few even ventured to the water’s edge and got their feet wet in the icy water. Of course, their mother protested while their father laughed and laughed at how much fun they were having. 

I looked down the coastline and envisioned meeting Charlotte at the cove one of these mornings. It seemed to be the only place we were ever truly alone. Perhaps I could convince her to meet me one of these mornings.

While everyone still spent time on the beach, I excused myself to head back into town. I used the excuse I needed to get the contracts sent off, but actually I had an appointment at the jewelers to see Charlotte’s wedding band. I walked into the shop and was greeted by Mr. Barnes. He was eager to show me the finished product. He pulled out a box and opened it up to reveal a single sapphire stone surrounded by smaller diamonds on a gold band. I was in awe of what he was able to create. It was absolutely what I wanted. I knew Charlotte would love it. I took the ring back to Trafalgar House and placed it in a safe spot until it was time to put it on her finger. 

Later in the evening, my family joined the Heywood family for dinner. My nieces and nephews were excited to meet some kids their age and all became quick friends, playing and running through the house. The sound of children roaming the house only made me think about Charlotte and I someday becoming parents and filling the house with the sound of our own children. A smile came across my face as I thought about it. The realization that it truly wasn’t far off before that could be a reality hit me hard. It’s all I ever dreamed of. 

We spent most of the evening being entertained by the children. I had long conversations with Mr. Heywood about business, about farming, about family, but mostly about Charlotte. He loved to tell stories about when Charlotte was little and all the mischief she used to get in. I loved every story he told and was laughing at many of them while Charlotte looked humiliated. 

Tom was buzzing about his new idea with the Arab Horses and had everyone in the room convinced of its potential. I, on the other hand, had my reservations. I didn’t doubt its appeal to the higher class, but it was going to be a lot of upkeep and something none of us knew much about. I had a feeling Tom was trying to convince Mr. Heywood to move to Sanditon and potentially take care of the animals or even allowing Charlotte’s brother, who graciously offered earlier in the day, to stay. I wasn’t so sure Mr. Heywood was keen on the idea of losing yet another child to Sanditon. 

Late in the evening, we finally took our leave and headed home. I didn’t get one moment alone with Charlotte the entire evening, which irritated me, but made me even more anxious for our time away once we were married. 

The following day, Charlotte brought everyone into town to show them the houses we had built and around the town. 

“Mr. Heywood,” Tom called out as we walked down the street. I knew where Charlotte was going to be and had every intention of finding her with Tom in tow. “I trust our Charlotte has shown you around our town?”

“She has, indeed. I’m quite intrigued to see how much has been done here.”

“Good, good. It’s been a labor of love on all our parts. I believe we can only go up from here. Sanditon will become the most visited seaside resort in all of the south coast,” Tom gushed. 

“I believe it will,” Mr. Heywood agreed.

“We were just on our way to the gazebo down by the river to have a picnic. It’s a little chilly, but the children are very excited to have a picnic inside,” Charlotte said, changing the subject.

“Well, we won’t keep you,” I said, knowing I wanted nothing but to keep her next to me, but I needed to let her have time with her family also.

“No important documents needing signed today, Mr. Parker?” Mr. Heywood asked.

I smiled at Charlotte who also smiled at our secret ruse. “Not today, sir. Perhaps there will be some tomorrow.”

“Any word from Mr. Crowe?” Charlotte asked. “I haven’t heard from Alison in days. I’m starting to get worried they won’t make it back in time for the wedding.”

“I’m sure they will be back,” I reassured. “I’ll send a letter immediately to see when we should expect them.”

“Thank you,” Charlotte said. 

“Good day,” I said, as did Tom before we continued our walk down the path while Charlotte’s family headed towards the river.

“I do like having Charlotte’s family here. They are all lovely people. I think I have Mr. Heywood convinced to let his eldest unmarried son come next summer and help with building a stable and stay to help with the Arab horses we will be getting,” Tom said.

“Don’t start this again, Tom,” I warned angrily. “It’s not something we can get funding for right now. If we play our cards right, perhaps in a year or two. But I’m not going to support this if you’re expecting Charlotte to front the funding.”

“I’ll find funding from somewhere else, if I must. I will make it happen. The Moreland brothers, some of them seem eager to settle down and may be interested in an investment like Sanditon. I have already written to Lord Moreland to see what his interest might be.”

“Can Charlotte and I get through our wedding day before you start planning your next grand plan?” I asked. “I don’t want anything else to happen that will mess it up.”

“Not to worry, Sidney,” Tom attempted to reassure, but I found little comfort in his words. “I have everything under control. I won’t let you down again.”

I had my doubts.

~Charlotte~

After what seemed like forever, Alison and Mr. Crowe returned from their extended honeymoon in London a day before the wedding. There was a relief that came over me seeing their carriage pull up in front of the house. We thought it was George and Jane arriving from Willingden, until I saw the carriage and recognized it as Mr. Crowe’s carriage. 

Alison appeared different to me as she stepped out of the carriage and hugged mother and father. She looked more mature, more worldly. She had clearly gone shopping in London as she came back wearing a new dress and hat. She had a vast look of happiness across her face. 

“Charlotte!” She ran towards me and hugged me tightly before taking my hands in hers and grinning widely. “I have so much to tell you.”

We walked into the house and left Mr. Crowe with mother and father as we ran upstairs to Alison’s old room. She plopped down on the bed and removed her hat with a long sigh. 

“Did you have fun? Was London all that you expected it to be?” I wondered.

“So much more than I expected,” she answered. “We went to a party nearly every night. I was introduced to so many new people as Mrs. Crowe. My husband enjoys saying my new name to anyone who will listen.” She sighed and laid back against the pillow exaggeratedly. “Then every night we’d go back to our room at the hotel and… well you know.” She giggled. “We got off to a bit of a rocky start. I enjoyed our first night together, but I will say it was quite awkward and I didn’t understand what all I was supposed to do. It was hard to comprehend what he was thinking also. I fretted more times than I should that I was doing something wrong. By the time we got to London, things got easier and it was even more enjoyable. Every touch, every kiss, every sensation was wonderful. I wanted to stay in bed with him every day, just caressing each other’s body’s, kissing, making love to him.” Another giggle left her lips. “We did stay in our room all day one of the days. We never left and just wrapped around each other. He has gotten so good at making me feel things I didn’t even know were possible.”

“What sort of things?” I wondered, feeling inadequate next to my now fully experienced younger sister. 

“Just sensations that build up inside of you and then explode with a force you can’t even grasp. It’s as if all sense and propriety disappear. It takes some time to build up, but with the right man to bring it forth, it’s a powerful sensation,” she explained. “You’ll understand what I mean tomorrow night. I’m quite certain Sidney Parker will be an amazing lover. He seems like he would.”

An anger stirred inside of me to hear my sister talk of Sidney in such a way, but I didn’t think she meant any harm. I think she only meant it to ease my fears. Her words only made me more nervous for our first night together. I worried I wouldn’t be enough for Sidney. Or my inexperience would cause friction between us. Alison confided she and Mr. Crowe got off to a rocky start but seemed to get better. Perhaps Sidney and I would be the same. 

I took a deep breath, trying to push the thoughts aside. Mr. Crowe appeared in the doorway with a grin across his face while his eyes fixated on Alison. “Are you done visiting yet?” he wondered. “I’ve brought our bags up and was wondering if you needed help unpacking?” I turned towards my sister who had a strange look on her face. She flew across the room and collided into him. They kissed and molded their bodies against each other. There was a fierceness about their embrace that made me realize I needed to leave the room. I got up from the bed and walked out, shutting the door behind me. I could hear them laughing and fumbling around the room as I walked away. I longed to have the same experience with Sidney. I hoped we would be just as good as Alison and Mr. Crowe. 

Later in the evening, my brother George arrived with Jane. It was wonderful to have my entire family here in Sanditon with us. I was only missing Sidney. I wished he had come to have dinner with us, but he was seeing to the arrangements for our elusive honeymoon. 

I stayed up rather late into the evening, unable to sleep from all the excitement. A part of me worried something else was going to get in our way and prevent us from getting married. Another potential setback was exactly why we chose to marry so quickly. We didn’t want to wait for something else to stand in our way. Everything was as it was supposed to be. We had everything planned for a small affair with just family and close friends, with a wedding breakfast at Sanditon House afterwards. It was exactly how we wanted, but a part of me still worried something was wrong.

I sat in the darkness of the drawing room by myself with Heraclitus fast asleep on my lap. I absentmindedly petted him while I stared out at the window. 

“Charlotte?” my mother whispered from behind me. Startled by her, I turned around quickly causing Heraclitus to stir. “What are you doing up so late, my dear?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” I answered. 

She walked over by me and sat down in a nearby chair. “Feeling nervous about tomorrow?” she asked.

“I know I love Sidney. I know I want to marry him. It’s all I’ve thought about for what seems like months now.”

“But a part of you is still unsure?” she wondered. I nodded my head.

“What if I’m not enough for him? What if he gets bored with me? Sometimes I have such a strong personality and so does he. Our first few weeks of knowing each other all we did was argue. What if we continue to argue and our marriage falls apart?”

She sighed and smiled sweetly. “Charlotte, why do you think your father’s and my marriage has been so strong after all these years?”

“You and father love each other.”

“Yes, we do. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have our moments of arguing or getting irritated with each other. You’ll learn when to give in and when to stand your ground. He will do the same. I have watched Mr. Parker with you every time we’ve had the pleasure of hosting him and there’s no denying his affections for you are true. He can’t take his eyes off of you and seems absolutely enamored. But what I notice more than anything, is his attentiveness to what you need. Right now, he sees you as wanting to take on the world and be the strong woman we all know you to be. He’s stepping aside and allowing you to take the lead. But equally, he’s ready to jump in and protect you from any mishap if there ever is a need. That man loves you. I can’t imagine he’d ever stray from those feelings, no matter how much you bicker. All good marriages bicker from time to time”

“You and father don’t seem to argue about anything.”

She smiled and turned her head to one side. “We just don’t argue in front of our children. We have our moments.”

“I just keep thinking about all the things that stood in our way and wondering if there was a purpose for all of it.”

“Hardships only make your bond stronger. If you’re both willing to fight through the hardships together, it’ll only make your love for each other deeper. Love isn’t supposed to be easy. Love is hard and takes work. I believe both you and Mr. Parker are strong enough to do that work.”

I smiled, feeling much better and truly understanding what she was saying. I knew marrying Sidney was right. I just had to believe it now. I gave my mother a hug and walked up to my room. I settled under the blankets with Heraclitus at my side and was asleep rather quickly. 

In the morning, I woke up to the sounds of people sounding as if they were in hysterics. I threw on a robe and rushed down the stairs to see what was wrong. My mother paced the floor, my father stared out the window, and Alison just looked nervous.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, feeling uneasy about what I was seeing on all their faces. Something terrible had happened. I could feel it. 

“Look outside,” my mother ordered. I slowly walked over to where my father stood and saw the light dusting of snow on the ground. I couldn’t help but laugh then cry. Of course, it snowed.

I took a deep breath and wiped my face. “It’s just a light dusting. This won’t set us back. It’ll be fine.”

“We could always postpone a day or two,” my mother offered. “It’s still coming down pretty hard.”

“No!” I said forcefully. “We will go forward like we planned.”

“Should I ride into town and check in on the Parker’s?” my father offered. “Perhaps we should see how they feel about it.”

“If you want to go into town and check in, you are welcome to do so. I know Sidney. He’s not going to want to postpone. Even if no one else is there, Sidney and I will go forward with the wedding.”

I had to truly focus on not crying every time I looked out the window. I took a hot bath, had Georgiana do my hair, and dressed in my dress. My father did ride into town and just as predicted Sidney refused to postpone. At least we were in agreement. 

We all watched out the window with bated breaths hoping it would let up, but with every moment we waited it seemed to fall even more. 

It was later in the morning and still the snow fell. “What should we do?” my father asked. 

“We go to the church,” I answered. I threw on a warm shawl and readied myself for the walk over to the church. The snow made it impossible for the carriage to drive safely so we would all have to walk. We were just about to walk across the yard when in the distance we saw some sort of carriage coming up the road. 

Sitting on top of a sleigh being drawn by horses was Tom Parker. “I knew I kept this old thing for a reason. Do you need a ride to the church?” he asked.

I almost cried of happiness. Tom had truly saved the day. As many of my siblings as possible climbed into the sleigh with my parents and Tom was off headed across the yard. He took three trips back and forth to get everyone to the church. He then rode over to the Babington home and collected them before going back into town to try to squeeze in anymore guests. We were slightly off schedule with the delays the snow caused, but at least we all made it. 

Just as I was about to head down the aisle, I heard another sleigh coming up the road. I waited to see who it was and realized it was Lady Susan and the Prince Regent coming up rather fast. I had chills run through me as I saw them pull up in front of me. 

Lady Susan stepped out of the sleigh and hugged me tightly. “I wasn’t about to miss my dear friend’s wedding day. No snow is going to stop me.”

“I didn’t think you would be able to make it,” I admitted.

“Don’t tell a woman she can’t do something. She will find a way to prove you wrong,” the Prince Regent added with a sound of contempt. I laughed and again had to fight back the happy tears. 

“Good luck, Charlotte. You look beautiful,” Lady Susan said with a friendly smile. They walked into the church and found a place to sit. A few minutes later, my father took my arm and walked me down the aisle. My eyes focused in on Sidney, who was dressed in his best clothes and standing tall and confident at the end of the aisle by Mr. Hankins. He smiled when he saw me, and I could have sworn I saw his breath stop. My father placed my hand in Sidney’s right hand and we faced Mr. Hankins. Georgiana and Arthur stood behind us.

“Dearly Beloved…” Mr. Hankins began. From there, I couldn’t say what words were spoken. I was lost in Sidney’s eyes and all sense was gone. This was truly happening. After so much time and so many obstacles, we were finally getting married. It wasn’t just a dream anymore. My life with Sidney began today and nothing more would ever stand in our way. 

I was brought back to reality when Sidney answered with, “I will.”

Charlotte, Wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?”

“I will,” I answered, breathlessly.

“I, Sidney Parker, take thee Charlotte Heywood, to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.”

“I, Charlotte Heywood, take thee, Sidney Parker. to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.”

Sidney was asked for a ring, which he placed on the book Mr. Hankins held. He spoke of the purpose of a ring before handing it back to Sidney and asking him to repeat.

“With this ring, I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow; In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.” 

Sidney slipped a beautiful ring on my finger and I couldn’t help but take a moment to admire how elegantly it looked on my hand.

“Let us pray,” Mr. Hankins said. Sidney and I kneeled in front of him as the rest of the guests bowed their heads. Sidney squeezed my hands and rubbed his thumbs across my knuckles. I was once again lost in thought thinking about our life together. Thinking about what the future holds for us and where we will go from here. I wondered about the honeymoon Sidney had planned and if the snow would prevent us from being able to go anywhere. If we had to stay at Sanditon House, would we truly feel alone and be able to be intimate freely. I glanced towards the window and noticed the snow had finally let up and a beam of sunlight shown through the window hitting Sidney and I perfectly. For some reason, my mind went to Lady Denham in that moment. I wished she had been around to witness mine and Alison’s weddings as well as see Esther’s baby be born, but in a way, I believe she brought all the people in this church together and with that we would continue to live in her spirit and keep Sanditon going for her. In a way, I felt her presence with us daily, but more so in that very moment. I smiled at the thought and felt content with where all of our lives had led us to be.

After what seemed like forever, Mr. Hankins announced we were husband and wife. Sidney and I followed him to sign our names in the registry with Georgiana and Arthur as our witnesses. Everyone else began to leave the church. I could distinctly hear Tom instructing everyone to board the sleighs so we could get everyone back to Sanditon House. Thankfully Lady Susan and the Prince Regent were gracious enough to offer their sleigh as well. Once the registry was signed and it was official, we walked outside to wait for the sleighs to return. Sidney took his moment and kissed me senseless. I could tell he was eager for us to be alone. I could only imagine it was just a glimpse of what I could expect later in the evening. I was thrilled at the thought, but also quite nervous. 

"Do you like the ring?" Sidney asked, holding my hand up so we could admire it together.

"I love it. Another family heirloom?" I asked. 

He grinned and let out a light chuckle. "No. This one I had made specially for you."

"Did you?" I asked, admiring the ring even more knowing it was his own creation. "I think I love it even more knowing that."

He breathed a sigh of relief before leaning in to kiss me again.

Sidney and I were the last to be brought back to Sanditon House. We thanked Tom profusely for having the good sense to hold on to the sleigh carriage all these years and to remember about it at this exact moment. He had truly saved us from a miserable wedding day and only ended up making it better. 

We walked into Sanditon House to a crowd full of loved ones who welcomed us excitedly. Sidney never once left my side the entire day and had a hand either on my lower back or wrapped around my waist at all times. Since we were now married and he was at liberty to touch me freely in front of people, he didn’t waste any time. We spent most of the day listening to well wishes and being served food we barely had time to eat. Everyone in the room was jubilant and Sidney and I couldn’t stop smiling gleefully. 

“I can’t believe this day is finally here,” Sidney said when he had a moment to pull me aside away from everyone else. “I never thought I was meant to be this happy. I was destined to live in misery until you came along. I’m the luckiest man in the world. I want you to know my happiness is all down to you.”

I breathed a sigh of relief and leaned up to kiss him. “What a wonderful life we will have together.” He grinned and kissed me again.

We were interrupted by Diana who looked apprehensive to be approaching us. 

She smiled, but let her smile fall to a nervous expression. “I want to tell both of you how happy I am you have been able to come together and make this day a reality. I know it’s something both of you have wanted for a long time and I’m thankful it’s finally happened.”

“Thank you, Diana,” I said reaching for her hand. 

Her eyes stayed fixated on the floor in front of us. “I realize this might not be the best time to tell you this, but since I have no idea how long you will be gone, I wanted to tell you before you left.”

“What is it?” Sidney asked with a concerned voice.

Diana raised her head and took a deep breath to poise herself. “I have engaged myself to Lord Grasmere.”

“What?” Sidney shouted in disbelief.

Diana begged him to keep his voice down while looking around the room to see if anyone heard him. “He’s a kind man and has come to enjoy Sanditon as much as everyone else. He has agreed to invest in the town in exchange for my hand in marriage.”

“You can’t,” Sidney said with so much sadness in his voice.

“I know it sounds sudden, but we have visited many times before and have come to regard each other as friends. He’s looking for someone to care for him in his last years of life. Who else better than someone who is used to caring for others? He has offered me a comfortable home and life in exchange for companionship.”

“Why, Diana?” Sidney asked.

“We need the money, do we not? You and Charlotte to keep the town afloat and Tom for his new endeavors. He has no heirs to speak of and is ready to use his fortune for Sanditon where he feels he has been awakened to new possibilities.”

“We can find another way. You don’t have to do this,” I added.

“It’s already done. We marry in a month’s time.”

“Diana,” Sidney said sounding heartbroken for her.

“Tom created this town. You and Charlotte made this town prosper. Now it’s my turn to do my part for this town and my family. This is just one small thing I can do and I’m happy to do it. You will grow to respect Lord Grasmere as I have.”

“Does anyone else know?” I asked. 

“Only Arthur. He has already grown to respect the man I will marry. They have become good friends and enjoy many of the same things. We will live here in Sanditon as Lord Grasmere finds the climate much more agreeable for his health.”

Sidney said no more. He only seemed to be mulling over his thoughts and trying to find any way possible to talk her out of it. 

“Please be happy for me. It’s all I ask,” she said.

“Of course, we’re happy for you,” I said squeezing her hand.

She looked at Sidney waiting for his response. For the first time since we arrived at the house as a married couple, Sidney released his hold on me and hugged his sister tightly. She seemed to not expect his response and began to cry. “I want you to know you don’t have to do this, but if it’s what you want, I will respect your decision and support you.” She breathed a sigh of relief and hugged Sidney in return, letting her tears fall freely. 

“Thank you.” 

“What’s all this?” Tom asked, interrupting them. Sidney released Diana and stepped back grabbing me and holding me tightly against him. Diana wiped her face and sniffled a little.

“You know me, Tom. I’m always emotional at weddings,” Diana excused. She patted Tom on the arm and walked back into the room where everyone else was. 

Tom didn’t ask more about Diana, oblivious to what had just transpired. “With the snow finally beginning to melt away, I am going to begin driving everyone back into town in a short while. I assume you’ll need to borrow the sleigh to get away for your honeymoon?” Tom asked.

“That would be most helpful,” Sidney said.

Tom nodded his head and began to explain to guests about the plan to get everyone to where they needed to be.

As everyone began to leave and give us hugs and words of wisdom, Mr. Crowe and Lord Babington came before us with wild grins on their faces. The thought of what they might be thinking played in my mind.

Sidney, Charlotte, it’s about time this wedding finally happened,” Lord Babington said proudly. “I feel just a bit responsible for the outcome.”

“I wonder, though, who is more responsible?” Mr. Crowe asked. “Babbers here, or me?”

Sidney laughed and ducked his head. “Why don’t I just say you both are responsible, and I can’t thank either of you enough. You truly are the best of friends.”

Well one of us has to be more responsible,” Mr. Crowe complained. “We have five pounds on who convinced you more of the terrible mistake you were making.”

He patted Mr. Crowe on the shoulder and grinned. “I think we all won something greater than five pounds in the end. Wouldn’t you agree?” Sidney tilted his chin towards Esther and Alison who were talking not far from us. Mr. Crowe and Lord Babington turned to see what he was gesturing at and both men smiled wickedly at their wives before turning back towards Sidney. 

“I suppose you’re right,” Lord Babington agreed. 

“Just don’t forget we had a hand in your blissful future,” Crowe said.

Sidney laughed. “As long as you remember the same about your own blissful future.”

Mr. Crowe nodded his head. “Very good point, old friend. Very good point.”

“Is it conceivable that all three of us, self-proclaimed bachelors, have all settled down and found happiness in the most unexpected of places?” Lord Babington asked.

“I daresay it is,” Sidney agreed.

Mr. Crowe nodded his head. “Who would have thought it possible?”

The three of them seemed to have a good laugh before we were joined by Esther and Alison. 

“What’s so funny?” Esther asked, whose baby bump was beginning to show through her thin dress.

“They were discussing their bachelor days and found it inconceivable that the three of them have all settled down with a wife within weeks of each other,” I explained.

Esther scoffed. “Have they truly settled down or are they just getting started? Can you imagine all of them as fathers? Our children may just all grow up together.”

“Are you already trying to say my wife is with child? Mr. Crowe asked.

“Anything is possible,” Esther said cunningly. “From what I hear, it very well may already be. Perhaps Charlotte will find herself with child after tonight.”

Mr. Crowe looked at Alison with a look of horror. Esther steered Lord Babington away with a grin on her face. I too looked at Alison with plenty of questions. Had she confided in Esther about this before me?

“I don’t know anything,” Alison quickly excused. “Esther seems to think it’s possible, that is all. Personally, I think she merely wants someone to share the experience with.”

Mr. Crowe let out an obvious sigh of relief. “I was beginning to break out in hives.”

“I think it’s something we can discuss further later tonight,” Alison said only causing Mr. Crowe to have that look of horror return to his face. I suspected my sister was suspicious she may be with child, but perhaps it was still a bit too soon to tell. 

As everyone was delivered back into town or settled in at Sanditon House, Sidney and I brought our bags to the waiting sleigh. 

Lady Susan greeted us last. She and the Prince Regent only planned to stay at Sanditon House for the one night before returning to London in the morning. I did not expect them to make the trip, but I was thankful to have them here. 

“Congratulations to you both,” she said. “I had no doubt this day would actually happen and here we all are celebrating a wonderful love story. Perhaps someday someone will write your love story for all to read.”

I giggled at the thought. Would someone actually care to read our love story? I wasn’t convinced.

I leaned down and patted Heraclitus on the head telling him to stay. Alison had a lead around his neck so he wouldn't try to follow us. He seemed confused, but licked my face a couple times before I stood up and walked over to Sidney who was waiting by the sleigh.

Sidney helped me into the open sleigh before joining me. He wrapped the thick blanket around us before he took the reins from my hands and clicked his tongue to get the horses to go. I waved excitedly to our families and friends as we rode away into the dusk. 

“Are you going to tell me where we are going now?” I asked.

He smirked. “You’ll see. It won’t take us long to get there.” 

I leaned up against him to warm up a little while he pushed the horses to go faster. In the darkness, we travelled down a dark road through the trees to what seemed to be going nowhere. Everything about where we were headed didn’t make a lot of sense, but I trusted Sidney. He clearly had a grand plan for this honeymoon of ours. 

We pulled up in front of a small cabin deep in the woods not long after leaving the house. There wasn’t much to it, but there was smoke coming from the chimney, which indicated a fire and was a welcome sight in the frigged air. 

“What is this place?” I asked as he stopped the sleigh and settled the horses. 

“It’s just an old hunting cabin. But, it’s at least five miles from any civilization. We will be entirely alone with no interruptions.” He took my hand in his and grinned. The thought of being alone was exactly what I wanted. A smile spread across my face at the thought. I turned to Sidney who had an apprehensive look on his face. “Is this alright?”

“I think it’s perfect,” I answered, leaning against him and squeezing his hand. A look of hope graced his face before he hopped off the sleigh. He helped me down before grabbing our bags and walking me through the dark and into the cabin. The fireplace was the only source of light to illuminate the dark room. There wasn’t much to the small cabin. There was only one room with a cooking area, a fireplace, which was already lit and warming the room, a small table with a couple chairs around it, and a rather large, nicely made bed. The bed looked a bit out of place compared to everything else. My fingers touched the delicate fabric of the blanket on the bed. 

As if Sidney could read my mind he explained. “I had a couple of the staff set everything up for us. We had the bed brought in. Before it was only a makeshift cot. There should be plenty of food stocked, firewood, comforts from home. We shouldn’t need anyone.”

**~**

“You’ve thought of everything.” I turned around to face him, feeling excited and ready. I placed my hand against his chest, playing with a button on his shirt, before raising my head to look at him. He quickly leaned in and kissed me, his large hands at my hips pulling me flush against him. I let him lead me towards the bed as we continued to kiss. Just as I was beginning to enjoy what was happening and feeling entirely ready for what was to come next, Sidney stopped and leaned his forehead against mine. His face looked pained. I couldn’t understand why. 

“I need to take care of the horses and the sleigh,” he explained. “There’s a small barn area outside. I’ll be right back.” He gave me another quick kiss before ducking back outside. 

I took a deep breath and looked around the cabin. Our bags laid at the foot of the bed. I grabbed mine and pulled out the nightgown, laying it across the bed. With quick movements, I removed my pelisse, then tried my best to undo all the buttons along the back of my dress. I was struggling to get the last few undone and getting frustrated at not being able to reach them. I tried to reach them by going over my shoulders, but my arms weren’t quite long enough, going from behind only resulted in the same struggle. I tried to pull the dress off without undoing the buttons but that had even worse results and caused my arm to get stuck in the sleeve. I almost started to cry at how frustrated I was. I had never been so helpless. 

I heard Sidney chuckle to himself and turned around to find him standing in the darkened doorway, leaning against the doorframe with his arms across his chest and watching me. He had removed his coat and vest, his shirt untucked from his pants and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. A grin played across his face. “Would you like some help?” he asked.

“Please,” I asked feeling quite embarrassed.” He walked across the room and began to unbutton the last few buttons while I talked nervously. “I told you I could do this on my own. Normally I wouldn’t have a problem. I never had someone dress me while growing up or even now at Sanditon House. But this dress seems to be filled with buttons that are impossible to reach.” Once he undid the last button, he continued by undoing the straps of my stays. The butterflies in my stomach were taking over my senses and words started spewing out of my mouth even quicker. “I should have changed out of it before we left. I wouldn’t have had so much trouble if I had. I’m glad you were here to help me, though. Could you imagine if I was entirely alone? I would have been stuck in this dress for days.”

He kissed the base of my neck and my breath hitched at the feeling. He continued to trail kisses along my shoulder, letting the dress I held up with my hands alone fall a little further down my sides. 

“Are you nervous?” he whispered against my skin.

I thought a moment before answering. I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t ready, but I wanted to be honest with him. “Yes.” 

He kissed across the shoulder again and I felt his hand come around to my front and splay across my stomach while his other hand pushed my hair around to the other shoulder and rested against my arm. “To be honest, I am too.”

I turned around and his arms encircled me even more. Our eyes connected. I could see everything he wanted in one expression. “You seemed rather well known at the boarding house in London. Why would you be nervous?”

He took a deep breath and looked down like he was upset. “When a man goes into a boarding house, he’s there for his own pleasures. His own release. When a man is with his wife, he’s there to pleasure her. I’m afraid I’m lacking on how to do that.”

“I’m sure we can figure it out together,” I said. He raised his eyes to mine and grinned before nodding his head in agreement. Our lips met for a searing kiss. Without even realizing, I released the hold I had on the dress and wrapped my arms around his neck. My dress fell to the ground and Sidney took full advantage of me being bare in front of him. He explored my body not only with his hands but with his lips. He trailed kisses along my jaw, down my neck, across my collarbone. I moaned involuntarily at how his mouth against my skin made me feel. He stepped back for a moment and let out a ragged breath. His eyes roamed across my body while I watched his chest rise and fall with quick breaths. With hasty motions, he pulled his shirt over his head and removed his boots before taking off his pants. With a nervous breath he stood in front of me, entirely bare looking as if he was waiting for my reaction. I let my eyes linger across his body before I smiled and took a step closer to him. I let my hands rest against his chiseled chest before I moved them around his neck, letting my fingers twist into his hair. His hot breath played against my skin as he leaned down and kissed along my neck again. Our naked bodies molded against each other as he pulled me close, making me realize how easily I fit against him as if I was always supposed to fit with him. 

He lowered me to the bed and hovered over me, while our mouths met again in a fiery and demanding kiss. He lowered his body against mine, letting me feel every part of his desire for me. Low moans released from his lips. He sat up for a moment and looked at my face intently as if he was lost in thought. 

I smiled at him and brushed my fingers across his scruffy jawline. “What is it?” I asked.

He shook his head and lightly laughed. “I just can’t believe this is actually happening. It’s hard to believe everything we’ve been through, everything I’ve done to hurt you, and you still want me.”

“I love you, Sidney. Hardships only make us stronger.”

He grinned and nodded his head in agreement. “I love you, Mrs. Parker.” The sound of my new name leaving his mouth did things to me I couldn’t describe. I pulled on his neck to meet his lips with mine again. He laughed against my mouth at my eagerness to kiss him. He clumsily fell back to the bed, surrounding me with his body. My body involuntarily arched against him causing a low growl to escape his lips. He leaned up slightly and let his lips explore down my chest, his tongue flick against the bud of my breast. I let out a small moan at the sensation it caused. Heavy breathing left his lungs as he continued to play with his tongue around my breasts and along my stomach. I took deep breaths trying to focus but losing all sense as he continued. 

The sounds coming from me were unintentional but equally uncontrollable. With every kiss, every touch, every lick I was being pushed further and further into oblivion. I could sense Sidney was feeling the same. 

He trailed kisses back up to my lips and consumed my mouth with his in a passionate and forceful kiss. His hand caressed my cheek and twisted into my hair, guiding my head to move with his. His body began to rock back and forth against mine. I opened my legs allowing him to settle between them. Once again, it was as if we fit together perfectly. He continued to kiss me with a desirable force as a warmth filled me. He moved gently, pushing further and further into me. I moaned against his mouth as it was slightly uncomfortable, but he didn’t falter from kissing me. His fingers lingered at my neck, moving my face to meet his. 

Once entirely inside of me, he didn’t move at first, letting me get used to the feeling of him. When I moved my hips against his, he took that as his motivation to continue. He rocked his hips against mine, slow at first, then quicker as the friction grew stronger. He moaned against my mouth and had to stop kissing me for just a moment to catch his breath. His breath came out in hot groans against my neck as he rested his head against my forehead. I too, was breathing heavily and whimpering with every thrust. It slightly hurt at first, but as he continued, I got used to it. I even began to enjoy the feeling of him being inside of me. 

I closed my eyes and allowed myself just to let go of all my thoughts and enjoy my husband. I circled my arms around his body and let my fingers trace lines down his back, which only seemed to cause him to moan deeper and thrust into me even harder. I enjoyed the deeper thrusts so much, I let him know by letting my hips rise and fall with his movements. My lips met his once again. As a heat filled my entire body, I cried out, thrashing my head to one side. Within seconds, there was a rush of tingles that went through my entire body causing me to tremble. 

Sidney let out a loud moan with a deep thrust before letting his body rest fully against me. His face was buried in my neck and I heard him chuckle into my hair. He raised his head and looked down at me in the darkened room. His face was playful yet still full of desire. He leaned down and kissed me once again. He slowly pulled out of me and moved to lay next to me. He let out a sharp breath followed by a bunch of long, deep breaths. I laid next to him, still unable to comprehend what just happened or make a coherent thought. 

Sidney reached out and pulled me into his arms, wrapping me against him protectively. He kissed the top of my head as I laid on his chest. I let my hand rest against his contoured stomach. We both still breathed heavily and were too heated by the fire and what we had just done to need a blanket around us. 

“Please tell me you enjoyed that as much as I did,” he asked.

I smiled and curled my face into his chest, feeling slightly self-conscious. “I’ve never experienced anything like that before. Was I supposed to feel a rush of tingles? It was as if I was on fire one minute and then the next a feeling of ice moving through me causing this wonderful tingling sensation.” 

I felt his chest rise and fall with a deep breath as if he was proud. His arms wrapped tighter around me. “That’s exactly what you should feel. I hope every time causes that type of reaction.”

I smiled and nestled into him feeling utterly content. “Do you feel it too?” I wondered.

“Yes,” he said quickly. “Yes, I feel it. I wholly enjoy every minute of it.”

I turned my head to face him, feeling proud of what I was able to make him feel. He turned his face towards me and let our eyes linger on each other for a moment before I leaned up and kissed him. He met me with another searing kiss and let his fingers wrap into my hair, pulling me closer and deeper into an exploration of each other’s mouths. I was entirely lost to him. He was mine and I was his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personal Note: If you aren't on Twitter yet and you are hoping for a second season of Sanditon, please join, let me know @graffiti4 and then go to @primevideouk to retweet their post about Sanditon. There's HOPE!!! I've been saying it all along. It's going to happen. We will get a second season and perhaps even a third. We need everyone on board.
> 
> Added on: So many of you are commenting as if this is the end. I can assure you, it’s not. There’s still a couple more HEA’s I need to write and I did promise a woodchopping Sidney as well as kidlottes. Perhaps Eliza will even make another appearance. Hang with me. I anticipate a couple more chapters and then an epilogue.


	36. The Honeymoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There is sexual content in this chapter. The most graphic sex scene is towards the beginning and I have included the **~** at the beginning and the end. However, there are references to intimacy throughout the chapter. Read with caution.

~Charlotte~

I woke up to a beam of light coming through the small window and hitting my face. I can’t say I slept much at all during the night. Thoughts filled my head almost instantly of what my first night with Sidney was like. Every kiss, every touch, every new experience was at the forefront of my thoughts. Feelings and emotions, I didn’t even know were possible happened. Sidney and I barely slept as we continued throughout the night making love and talking about everything. Both of us were still trying to grasp the reality of our marriage and our freedom to be intimate with each other. There were so many new things to learn about the other and we took full advantage of our time alone. Being wrapped in his bare arms was the most enticing feeling I’d ever experienced. At one point during the night, I even began to cry as emotions took over all my senses and I truly felt happy. Of course, Sidney was instantly concerned thinking he had done something wrong. Once I explained my tears were tears of joy, he took liberty in kissing my tears and allowing me to have the moment of pure happiness. 

I rolled over in the bed, fully expecting Sidney to be next to me. The thought thrilled me. I was excited to wake him with kisses and touches along his body. As I rolled over, I realized he wasn’t there, and his side of the bed was rather cold like he hadn’t been there for some time. Concerned, I sat up and looked around the small cabin. He was nowhere to be found. The anxiousness inside of me grew as I tried to figure out where he might be. 

I heard a strange banging sound coming from outside. I walked over to the window and saw Sidney swinging an ax against the large block of wood on the ground. He placed a smaller log of wood on top and swung again, splitting it in two. The snow had stopped, and the sun shone brightly in the sky, but snow still graced the ground with its glistening glow. He had his pants and boots on, but his shirt was thrown on haphazardly and undone in the front revealing his bare chest. His sleeves were rolled up exposing his forearms. The sight of him swinging an ax was arousing, and I had the urge to be wrapped around him once again. 

I shuffled through my bag and found the thin robe I had brought with me. I put it on and wrapped it closed in front with a small tie. I slipped on my shoes and carefully walked out onto the porch. Even though there was snow on the ground, the air was warm, and the bright sun was a welcome heat against my face. I stood watching Sidney while he swung the ax perfectly every time, hitting the center of each piece of wood and splitting the pieces in half and then in fourths. The muscles of his forearms and his chest tightened with every swing and occasionally I would see a small drop of sweat fall from his hair down his cheek. Before every swing, he would focus his eyes on the piece of wood in front of him, his jaw would clench, and his forehead would wrinkle. With every precise swing, he would let out a small grunt. I licked my lips and looked him up and down with my head tilted to one side. I fully enjoyed the sight in front of me. He was quite beautiful, and I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact he belonged to me.

He noticed me watching him and stopped swinging the ax. A grin spread across his face. “You’re awake,” he said. I didn’t say anything in return, just continued my way across the yard towards him. He watched me intently as I stood in front of him and focused on his bare chest before raising my eyes to him. The desire in my eyes must have been very apparent, because the next thing I knew he was kissing me forcefully and pulling me flush against his hot body. “Were you able to get some sleep?” he asked, once he reluctantly pulled his lips away from mine.

I answered with a nod. “Did you?” I asked, looking up at his eyes.

“Very little,” he admitted with a grin. “I had my beautiful wife lying next to me for the first time. You can’t expect a man to sleep with such a sight.”

“Why are you out here chopping wood?” I wondered. “Trying to work off some pent-up tension?”

He grinned coyly. “All that built up tension was relieved last night.” He laughed a little as if he was continuing to think about what I had suggested. “I asked everything to be ready for our arrival, but apparently having enough wood inside to last longer than a night must have slipped his mind,” he explained.

“Slipped whose mind?” I asked.

“The man I borrowed this cabin from. He lives a distance away and built this cabin for his hunting purposes many years ago. He has been very helpful having everything prepared for our arrival and was even here last night to get the fire going so when we arrived it was warm inside. He was waiting in the barn when we arrived. It’s why I had to pull away at first, so I could go thank him and bid him farewell.”

“I see,” I said shyly. The thought of someone being outside when we first arrived was slightly embarrassing, especially when I thought back to how we started to kiss. What if this man happened to see us? It was a bit unnerving. 

“Do you want to try?” he asked with a playful grin on his face.

“Try what?”

“Chopping wood?” he answered. A smile spread across my face, knowing full well he was not aware of my own wood chopping skills. He turned me around in his arms, letting his hands brush across my stomach and hips. He stood flush against my back and placed the ax in my hands. I let him show me how to position my feet and where to place my hands on the ax. He kept his own hands wrapped around mine while he lifted the ax above our heads and slowly brought them down against the piece of wood in front of us. His hot breath played against my neck while he spoke of what to do. I didn’t hear a word of it, solely focusing on the warmth of his body against mine. 

“Now, you try,” he said, pulling away from me and standing a few steps away while he watched. His hands were placed on his hips, opening up his shirt further revealing his stomach muscles. I took a deep breath, trying to focus on the wood and ax in front of me, rather than my husband’s body. 

I got into position and gripped the ax before raising it above my head and swinging it down against the wood with all my force. The piece of wood split in half and fell to the ground around me. I smiled at what I had done and glanced towards Sidney.

He had the happiest smile on his face as he stared down at the wood I had just split lying on the ground. His eyes rose to mine and he slowly took the few steps back towards me. His hands gripped my hips with force and pulled them against him. “Seems I have underestimated my wife once again.”

I let the ax dangle in my hand at our side while Sidney rocked us back and forth. “I grew up on a farm. It’s not the first time I’ve had to chop wood,” I explained.

“Yes. I should have known.”

“You do it so much better than I do, though.”

**~**

He laughed, slipping one chilled hand inside my robe, causing the strap holding it closed to come undone and open up, revealing my naked body beneath. His cold hand against my skin sent chills down my back, which I didn't mind. With his other hand, he took the ax from me and threw it towards the block, before opening my robe further and letting his other cold hand rest against my now exposed breast. My fervent eyes stayed focused on his face while he focused in on my bare chest in front of him. “Perhaps we don’t need a fire to keep us warm and all this woodchopping is in vein,” he suggested, letting his eyes dart from my eyes back to my chest and even farther still. 

“Perhaps you’re right,” I said, agreeing with his hypothesis. My eyes darted between his eyes and his lips, longing to kiss him. 

With a force I had grown to enjoy, his lips crushed against mine, taking what was rightfully his. Our kiss was urgent and forceful while his lips moved against mine. His tongue darting into my mouth, tasting and exploring. He let his lips roam down my neck and around my ear, causing me to giggle. His arms encircled my bare skin, pushing the robe even further out of the way. With one swift move, his hands cupped my bottom and hitched me up around his waist. My legs tightened around him and my arms wrapped around his neck. His lips met mine again in an intense kiss while he tried to make his way across the yard towards the cabin. He broke the kiss so he could see where he was going and I took liberty in kissing him along his neck, his shoulder and behind his ear like he had done to me. Once back inside the house, I let the robe fall to the ground while he carried me across the room and laid me against the bed. I kicked my shoes off and laid against the bed anticipating and longing for what was to come next. Even though we spent most of the night making love, I was eager for more as he clearly was as well. Once he removed his boots and pants, he came over top of me and began kissing me with vigor. It was more intense than it was during the night, but I enjoyed it. He caused so many sensations to happen between my legs and I longed to have more. My fingers roamed along the sweat dampened muscles of his chest and stomach, stopping just above his hips. He moaned against my mouth and rocked his hips towards mine. I raised my hips to meet his and to silently let him know I wanted him. I couldn’t imagine a time I’d deny him this wonderful act between a husband and wife. 

I let my hand venture further down past his hips and brush against his penis, letting my fingers wrap around him. He quickly sat up and pulled me into his lap. His hand came between our legs and met my hand. He took my hand in his and wrapped it around him again, showing me how to stroke and glide my hand. I kept my focus on his face. He looked pained as he guided my hand with fast-paced strokes. I leaned in and began licking and kissing along the muscles of his chest and along his neck. His groans grew even louder and more urgent with every stroke. Another grunt left his mouth as he pulled my hand away from him and he quickly grabbed my hips sitting me down on top of him. He slid inside of me, deeper than he ever had before. There was a sharp painful sensation at first, but like the other times before, I got used to it quickly and focused on enjoying him. His eyes remained closed while his large hands held my hips and guided me up and down around him. I had never felt anything like this before and couldn’t help but cry out and say his name against the soft skin at his neck. This action made him even more eager as his fingers dug into the skin at my hips and rock us even faster. Loud moans and heavy breaths left his lungs and sweat dripped down his face. I panted breathlessly with every thrust inside of me. The explosion was building. I smiled and rose my face upwards anticipating what was coming. 

He quickly let go of my hips and grabbed my head, lowering it to his for a searing kiss. He moaned repeatedly against my lips while I kept up the pace of gliding up and down on him. I could sense he was close to his own release when he couldn’t kiss me any longer, his panting too strained to do anything but lean his forehead against mine. His hands held my head against his with such force. 

“Charlotte,” he whispered, through gritted teeth. The sound of my name leaving his lips is what sent me over the edge. I came down on him, letting him in as deep as possible and tightened around him, holding on to the sensation. While a rush of exhilaration went through my body, he too, let out one loud moan before his tightened body relaxed. He let his head fall and rest against my chest while his arms wrapped around my middle and held me close to him. I let my fingers tangle in his damp locks while we both tried to catch our breath and cool down. 

“Clearly we don’t need any firewood,” he said. I laughed, feeling just as clammy as he did after our activities. He rose his head, looking at me with so much love. He brushed the matted hair away from my face and looked at me intently. I took a deep breath, enjoying his eyes on me with so much emotion in his face. I leaned down and gave him a simple kiss. He fell back against the bed, pulling me down with him and laid me on top of him. His arms wrapped around me and tangled in my hair as he held my head against his chest. Our bodies still connected and unable to fully release from each other. 

**~**

“I enjoyed that immensely,” I said against his chest.

He chuckled and tightened his hold around me. “So did I,” he agreed. 

“It was different than the many times last night,” I said.

“I would agree. There’s going to be new things to discover every time. I’m looking forward to every moment,” he hummed against my hair. “Which leads me to wonder where exactly you learned that little trick with your hand?”

I blushed, not that he could see my face. I wondered if I should reveal my secret. Would he think me strange or improper for looking at such a book? However, he was my husband and I didn't want to have any secrets from him. “Lady Denham had an interesting collection of books before she decided to take them all down. Alison and I found a certain book that taught us quite a bit.”

He chuckled. “Did you? I might need to take a look at this book when we get home.”

I sighed against his chest. “I like the sound of that. Home. When we return, Sanditon House will be our home, together.”

He sighed too and brushed his hand across my hair. “I like the sound of it as well.” 

After a short nap curled up in each other’s arms, we got up and scoured the kitchen for something to eat. Sidney went outside and collected all the wood he had chopped earlier and got the fire going again. I made some sandwiches and cut up some fruit while Sidney boiled a pot of water on the fire for some tea. We sat at the table, barely clothed, while we drank tea and sustained ourselves with food. 

After we ate, we curled up on the bed together and sat comfortably in the quiet. He rested my head against his chest while his arms circled around me. His fingers gently traced lines along my arm. We were both still pretty tired after the sleepless night before. 

“Sidney,” I said getting his attention. I glanced up at his face and was sure he had nearly fallen asleep before I aroused him. “How many times have you visited that boarding house in London?”

“Charlotte!” I could sense how uncomfortable he was with the question. He pulled his arm out from around me and sat up against the headboard of the bed. “Why would you ask such a question?”

I sat up so I could look at him. “I want to know. Mrs. Harries seemed to know you well. You must have been a frequent visitor.”

He sighed heavily and stared at my face with a pained expression. “What happened before you, is in the past. What matters is what happened once I met you. And I can tell you with great certainty, I never visited any gentlemen’s establishment from the moment I met you?”

I thought back on when we first met on the cliff when he rode in on his open carriage. We had barely spoken, and he was quite rude to me. “The moment you met me?”

I smiled shyly. “Yes, well, new maid or not, I was… intrigued.”

“Were you?” I grinned happily hearing this news. 

“Quite.”

I rested back against his chest and he again, wrapped his arms around me. “So was I.” I didn’t have to look at his face to know he was grinning from my reveal.

“Why do you want to know about this anyway?” he asked after a few moments of silence. I clearly had stirred some anger in him.

“I suppose I’m just curious if I’m enough.”

“I don’t understand your meaning,” he said.

I sat up and glanced between his eyes and his chest, feeling timid even suggesting something. “Perhaps you had a favorite girl you saw at the boarding house who was more experienced and prettier than me. But as a harlot, you couldn’t marry her with good standings. Perhaps you’ll still wish to visit her even though we are married. Or perhaps you’ll get bored with me and want something more exciting and adventurous.”

He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and brushed his thumb across my cheek. “Are these the thoughts that go through your mind?” I felt uneasy and refused to look him in the eye. “Charlotte, I love you. I’ve never loved someone as much as I love you. I’ve never even cared about someone as much as I care about you. Girls in a brothel are there for pleasure, not for conversation or compatibility. I didn’t frequent them, but I did go there from time to time usually with Babington and Crowe. I took what I needed and left. I never even knew their names. Crowe always said if you look at them, you’ll begin to have feelings. I took those words to heart and tried to focus on something else. I don’t do that with you. I want to be everything for you. I can’t imagine ever being bored with you, either. I’m always going to want this. I’m always going to want you and only you.”

My eyes misted with tears as he stared at me with intense eyes, making me believe every word he spoke. I leaned in and kissed him with force. I don’t think he was expecting my forcefulness as he laughed against my mouth. I rose up and sat in his lap again, craving what we had done earlier. His hands rested against my hips as he began to suckle my breast and squeeze the other. I wanted him to know I would always try to be enough for him as I knew, wholeheartedly, he would always be enough for me.

The next day, we slept a lot and rested our muscles and bodies. I didn’t realize how much strain making love put on the body. I wasn’t complaining in the least and even with a sore body, I’d happily make love to him over and over again. But I was thankful for the time to rest. 

I was awoken when I felt movement on the bed beside me. I had my back towards him and refused to open my eyes just yet, still hoping for a few moments longer of sleep. His hand rubbed against my arm and his lips traced across my shoulders and back, trying fervently to awaken me. I sighed and shuddered at his touch. “Charlotte,” he whispered. “Wake up, my love.”

I opened my eyes and rolled over to face him. “What is it?” 

His lip rose in a half smile. “Come with me.” He grabbed my hands and pulled me out of the bed. I wasn’t thrilled about getting up, but I did. I threw on my robe and took Sidney’s hand letting him lead me outside into the dark. Before we stepped outside, he motioned with his finger against his lips to be quiet. I was quite confused with what was going on, but I followed instructions and tried to be as quiet as possible. He stepped outside and led me out in front of him. The glow from the moon illuminated the trees and snow around us. Slowly, my eyes focused in on what Sidney had brought me outside for. Just steps from the porch was a large group of deer eating from patches of exposed grass beneath the snow. My breath hitched as I watched them get closer and closer to us. I wondered if this happened to be the same group of deer that frequented the Sanditon area.

“Their beautiful,” I whispered. Sidney’s arms wrapped around my waist from behind as we stood silently watching the group of deer together. 

“I suppose I know why there’s a hunting cabin here. Rather easy to hunt when the prey comes right up to your doorstep,” Sidney said quietly against me ear. I stifled a laugh at his comment. We watched them for quite a while before going back inside and warming up by the fire and in the bed. 

The following day, Sidney chopped more firewood while I watched and fully enjoyed the sight. From time to time, I would see him grin bashfully and shake his head like he wasn’t sure why watching him chop wood had me so enthralled. But he didn’t disappoint when he would put all his power into slicing through a piece of wood. I almost felt as if I would have the tingling sensation rush through me just from watching him chop wood. I had decided when we returned home, a block would be put up and firewood logs would be delivered to Sanditon House just so Sidney could continue to chop wood and I could watch. 

In the evening, after our lovemaking, Sidney broke out a book he had packed away in his bag. I nestled close to him and listened to him read from a book of Heraclitus. Besides watching him chop wood, listening to him read was my new favorite activity. His voice was so soothing and peaceful. I couldn’t get enough of him.

After a peaceful night’s sleep, I woke up early. I turned in the bed and watched Sidney sleeping next to me. He was on his side, his arm lazily draped across me. I watched the rise and fall of his chest with his rhythmic breathing. I placed a hand against his bare chest and reveled in the feel of his heart beating. I could have laid there all day just watching him sleep, but my stomach was growling from hunger. I got up and rummaged through the basket of food we had brought with us. There wasn’t much left, other than the end of a loaf of bread and some fruit. I was getting tired of sandwiches anyway. I looked around and found a small bucket with some root vegetables. The thought of a warm soup was enticing. I looked around and found a hunting rifle and knew exactly what I needed to do. I pulled out a dress from my bag and for the first time since arriving, actually put on clothing. It was just a simple gray dress over my shift and stays. I pulled on the full pelisse I brought with me and began to button it when Sidney woke up. He searched the bed with his hand before realizing I wasn’t there. His eyes darted open with panic. He sat up when he saw me across the room buttoning my pelisse. 

“Where are you going?” he wondered.

“We have eaten nothing but sandwiches and a few fruit and vegetables since we got here. We need something a bit more substantial. I’m going hunting.”

A smile spread across his face before he whipped the blankets off of him and quickly started pulling on pants and a shirt. When we were both dressed, we walked out of the cabin hand in hand, going deeper and deeper into the trees, looking for anything. 

We walked through the forest for most of the day and had conversations about what we might see, what I might make to eat, and about Heraclitus back home who should have come with us to be the hunting dog he was bred to be. Our stomachs growled with anticipation for something more than sandwiches. 

In the distance, I noticed some pheasant walking along the ground. I put my hand out to stop Sidney from walking and crouched down to ready the gun for shooting. Sidney watched me with an amazed expression. I rose the gun and placed it in my line of sight, aiming with great precision. I pulled the trigger and in the distance the pheasants all scattered in the air. I rose to my feet and with a smile grabbed Sidney’s hand while we made our way across the field to where I just shot. I wasn’t entirely sure I had shot something, but I was hopeful. We searched the ground and sure enough, Sidney found the bird I had hit. He picked it up proudly and carried it while we made our way back to the cabin. 

Once back in the warmth of the cabin, I had Sidney work at plucking the feathers from the bird outside, while I chopped some of the root vegetables and placed them in a pot. Once all the feathers were successfully plucked, I placed the bird in the pot and covered it with water before placing it above the fire. 

“I’m not sure these feathers are ever going to leave me,” Sidney complained, trying in vain to brush the feathers off of him. 

I giggled and walked over to him, trying to help but realizing I wasn’t doing much better than he was. “Perhaps you should just remove the clothing,” I suggested with a playful grin. He rose an eyebrow but did exactly what I said, leaving his clothing in a heap on the floor. 

While the food cooked, we worked up an appetite in bed. I wondered if when we returned to Sanditon House, if we would still be the same way. Would we be as carefree and open with each other, or would we once again be stiff and proper keeping up appearances. I hoped, at least while we were alone, we could still be like we were here. And perhaps we could visit this place often. 

When the soup was done, I dished us both up a bowl and we sat at the table to eat. Sidney gave his appreciation for something other than sandwiches with his hums of delight. He ate three bowls of the soup before announcing he was so full and couldn’t move. We went to bed with happy stomachs and bodies perfectly compatible with the other. He read from the book some more while we rested in the bed together. 

"Do you think it'll always be like this?" I asked.

"Like what?"

"Wanting to be close to each other and longing to be in each other's arms? Feeling entirely comfortable with each other?"

He rubbed my arm and held me closer to him. "I truly hope so. I know I'll always want us to be like this."

I nestled into his side and closed my eyes, feeling entirely at peace. "I don't ever want to leave this place."

He sighed and brushed his fingers through my hair. "Neither do I."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honeymoon is now over. There will still be 2-3 more chapters with an epilogue. When this story is complete, I will write "And They Lived Happily Ever After" at the end. 
> 
> I'm also working on a new modern story. I couldn't help myself and have already started to write it. I'm just trying to come up with the right title. I'm terrible with titles.


	37. Stronger as a Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There is lots of references to sex and a small sex scene which again I've marked with **~** for those who wish to skip it.

~Sidney~

After packing our bags in the carriage and hitching the horses up, I walked back into the cabin one last time. Charlotte was looking around, appearing to be apprehensive about leaving. We had spent an entire week at the cabin. Just us with no interruptions or other people standing in our way. Wedding bliss was an understatement. I believe, if we could, both of us would prefer to stay at the cabin longer. But getting home and back to our daily routines was calling. I walked over to Charlotte and circled my arms around her middle, pulling her back against me. I kissed the back of her neck and breathed her in. 

“Are you ready to go?” I asked.

She nodded her head and began to put her gloves on. “Can we come back here again?” she asked.

I chuckled and kissed her neck again. “We can come back as often as you like,” I promised. 

She turned around and looked up at my face with a sad expression. “I know we have to go back, but I have fully enjoyed being here alone with you. When we go back, will we ever have a moment alone? I’m afraid we won’t be free to be like this again.”

I tightened my arms around her and kissed her forehead. “We will find opportunities to make it a reality.”

She nodded her head, but still looked sad. I took her hand in mine and led her out of the cabin. Once secured in the sleigh, I hopped up next to her and clicked my tongue to get the horses going. We went at a slow pace, both of us longing to stay secluded longer. 

“It’ll be nice to see family again,” I said, trying to give her a sense of something to look forward to. 

“Yes. Perhaps you’re right. It will be nice to see everyone again.”

The trip home was short as we weren’t very far. I reminded Charlotte of this fact often on our way home. We could easily take as many trips as we wished to the cabin. I’m sure the man who owned it wouldn’t mind letting us use it from time to time, especially if the compensation was high. 

We pulled up in front of Sanditon House and Charlotte noticeably sighed with disappointment. I took her hand in mine and kissed her knuckles. “We will still have what we had at the cabin. Just in a different way.” She smiled unconvincingly. I’d have to prove to her we could be the same here as we were in the cabin. I hopped down and reached for her hand to help her down. A man came over and took the reins from me to lead the horses away. 

Alison and Georgiana burst through the front door and rushed to Charlotte. 

“You’re back!” Alison cried hugging Charlotte tightly. 

“Did you have a nice time?” Georgiana asked before giving Charlotte a hug as well. 

“We did. Very much so,” Charlotte answered with a glance in my direction. 

“You’ll never believe what all has happened while you were away,” Georgiana said.

“What’s happened?” she asked. I too was curious what they were talking about. Crowe lazily walked out of the house and gave me a tip of his head while he grinned. 

“Come inside and we will tell you all about it.” Alison and Georgiana led Charlotte inside while I followed behind them. They sat Charlotte down and were on either side of her. An instant frustration rose up inside of me. I had been trying to reassure Charlotte that we would be fine when we got home. We would still be connected, nothing would come between us. Yet here we were, home for no more than a moment and she had already been taken from me. 

“Diana Parker has engaged herself to Lord Grasmere,” Alison announced with an astonished tone.

“Yes. I know,” Charlotte said.

“How?” Alison wondered.

Charlotte glanced towards me. “She told Sidney and I before we left.”

“Do you know he’s also one of the wealthiest men in all of England?” Georgiana asked.

“I know he has a fortune and wishes to invest in Sanditon. I don’t know how much he’s worth.”

“Twice as much as me,” Georgiana said. My breath caught in my lungs and a small cough came out of me.

“Two hundred thousand pounds?” I asked.

Both Georgiana and Alison nodded their heads. “It might even be more than that. We don’t know the exact amount,” Alison said. “He’s planning to build a grand house here in Sanditon, probably bigger than this one. He thinks the climate here is more agreeable for his ailments and wants to put as much into Sanditon as needed to complete all future projects.”

“Of course, Tom Parker loves him and has been cozying up to him nicely,” Crowe added. I rolled my eyes as I thought of my brother trying to go after anyone who had money. 

“Lord Grasmere is also good friends with the Prince Regent. He and Lady Susan also decided to do more for Sanditon than just the theatre. The Prince Regent loved Tom’s idea of the Arab Stallions and has promised to be back in the spring to oversee the plans,” Alison continued. “Father is planning to return with Simon in the spring to help with the horses and will be letting Simon stay for the summer to oversee the horses, with your permission, of course. You know how much Simon loves animals. He will be a great asset to the stallions.”

“This is all wonderful news,” Charlotte said. She looked thrilled with the potential of Sanditon’s future.

“There is a downfall, of course,” Georgiana added. “Lord Grasmere is very set in his ways. He was here yesterday with Diana hoping to see both of you. He is not one to look at a woman and think she has much of an opinion, and if she does, she should not speak it in a man’s presence.”

“This is the type of man my sister is planning to marry?” I asked, feeling a rage grow in me. I was beginning to think I needed to step in and stop Diana from making a terrible mistake.

“He seems harmless, but there’s definitely something about him that’s old fashioned,” Crowe added. 

“He will be here with Diana in the morning to discuss the future of Sanditon with the both of you,” Alison said.

I sucked in a deep breath and looked towards Charlotte. I knew by the look on her face she was nervous. This was what Sanditon needed; someone with a fortune willing to put forth that fortune for the benefit of the town, but at what cost? I could sense Charlotte weighing this in her mind. 

“In other news, Mr. and Mrs. Stringer returned to London so he could continue his training for architecture,” Alison said. "Once he's finished with his training they plan to set up their home here. Of course, Lord and Lady Babington returned to London as well as the Moreland men." 

But surprisingly, Julia Beaufort has found herself engaged to Andrew Moreland," Georgiana gushed. "Can you believe it? I was in shock when she told me. She barely knows the man and her father has not approved, but she believes he will. She is travelling to London to introduce her father to him next week."

And in some more surprising news, it’s been established Edward Denham and Clara Brereton have escaped to Scotland to be married. It’s been rumored Edward has a distant relative who lives in Scotland whom they plan to stay with. This relative also has a sizeable fortune. It’s quite the scandal.” I thought on this development and thought it much in Edward Denham’s character; perhaps even Clara’s. They wouldn’t give up until they had the fortune they both desired. To what lengths would they go to reach their goal, I wondered.

“Anything else?” Charlotte asked.

“What’s new with you?” Alison asked, taking Charlotte’s hands in hers. “Where did you end up going for your honeymoon? I imagine it was someplace grand and fashionable.”

“Not exactly,” Charlotte laughed. “But for us, it was precisely what we needed.”

“Where, then?” Georgiana asked.

“Where is Heraclitus?” Charlotte asked, changing the subject. I wondered if she didn’t tell them because she was ashamed of where we went since it wasn’t somewhere glamorous like they expected.

“I believe he’s in the kitchen hoping for some table scraps,” Crowe explained with a chuckle. “It’s become his most favorite place.”

I stepped forward and reached for Charlotte’s hand. I felt the need to get her alone so we could discuss all that had happened. “Come on,” I said.

She looked at my extended hand then up to my face but took my hand and stood. “Where are we going?” she wondered. Everyone else in the room looked quite confused as well.

“We are going to find Heraclitus and take him for a walk to the cove,” I explained.

I led her into the kitchen and found Heraclitus sitting nicely under the cook’s feet, begging with his eyes for a special treat. Charlotte called out his name and with a whimper and bark, he skidded across the floor and nearly knocked Charlotte over with all his kisses and jumping around. Charlotte laughed and pet him with so much joy. In just the week we had been gone, he had grown even more. 

“Would you like his lead, Miss Hey… I mean Mrs. Parker?” the kitchen maid asked.

“Yes, I would. Thank you, Sarah.” I would have to learn who all the staff of the house were now that I’d be living here with my wife.

A few moments later Sarah returned with the lead and Heraclitus was secured for his walk. Charlotte took my arm and with slow, comfortable steps, we walked across the yard towards the cove. For most of our walk, we were silent as Charlotte was still considering all the news we had been told. The air was cold, and I felt the urge to hold Charlotte close to keep her warm. 

“What do you know of Lord Grasmere?” she asked, once we were down at the cove and she released Heraclitus to run freely for a bit.

“I can’t say I know much. I only met the man a time or two. I’ve never had a substantial conversation with him. Perhaps I should talk to my brothers to get their opinion of him.”

“Do you think Diana is making a mistake marrying him?” she wondered. “I don’t want her marrying a man she doesn’t love for the sake of her family.”

“I’ve been thinking on this as well. It’s exactly what I thought I was going to have to do and it nearly killed me,” I said.

“Did it truly?” she asked with a concerned expression.

I breathed a laugh and wrapped my arms around her, trying to stop her from fretting. “I felt entirely trapped and enslaved. I began to go down a very dangerous path just to avoid my heartache. Thankfully, I had you to rescue me.”

“Should we be rescuing Diana?” she wondered. 

“I suppose we need to understand more about their relationship. However, I do think I need to have a talk with this Lord Grasmere about his treatment of the women in this family. I won’t stand by and let him treat them like they are beneath him, fortune or not.”

“A fortune to sustain the town is what we need, but I worry about this man thinking he can come in and take over the town merely because he has a fortune. I would rather he not invest anything if it means he doesn’t show respect to the people who have put their heart and soul into building it.”

I rocked us back and forth, tightening my hold around her. “I think it best we come up with a plan on how to handle Lord Grasmere as a strong family unit. If he’s going to be marrying into this family, he needs to understand we are all in this together.”

“I agree.”

“How we do that, I have no idea.”

Charlotte sighed and leaned her head against my chest. “Neither do I. But I believe we will find a way.”

We stayed at the cove for quite a while, enjoying our alone time even if we were freezing. Eventually, Charlotte called Heraclitus back and we returned to Sanditon House. Charlotte barely ate anything at dinner, yet only I noticed. Charlotte and I retreated to our now shared bedroom right after eating. As much as I wanted to hold Charlotte’s naked body against mine in our first night back home, she was too lost in thought. I could sense Charlotte’s mind working overboard trying to come up with a plan and thinking on our meeting with Lord Grasmere. I held her close to me, remaining silent so she had the time to think. I too was thinking on our impending conversation. I knew one thing for certain. Lord Grasmere would not come into our home and disrespect my wife in any way. If he even tried, I would have nothing more to say to the man. 

Early in the morning, I woke to find Charlotte already dressed and ready for the day. She had a grin on her face, like she had a wicked thought in her mind. 

“What are you up to?” I asked, curious and eager to find out.

“Would you be willing to go into town to ask Tom, Mary, and Arthur to join us today?”

“Of course. But why?” I wondered. 

She hopped on the bed and leaned in to give me a quick kiss. I longed to pull her back and deepen the kiss further. “I have a plan,” she said. 

She got up and slipped on shoes before brushing through her hair.

“Care to elaborate?” 

“I will soon,” she said. “We don’t have a lot of time. Please get up and retrieve our family.”

I got up and dressed quickly, unsure what Charlotte had planned. I hopped onto a horse and quickly headed into town. Mary was quite surprised to see me and wanted to talk more about my marriage than about coming with me. After some time, Mary, Tom and Arthur loaded the carriage and headed out to Sanditon House where Charlotte, Alison, Crowe, and Georgiana waited. We all joined in the drawing room, waiting for some sort of explanation. Mary again only wanted to talk to Charlotte about our time away and how marriage life was for us.

After a short time of waiting, Diana walked in looking elegant and proper on the arm of Lord Grasmere. 

“Mr. Parker, just who I was hoping to see today,” he greeted, practically ignoring everyone else in the room. His blatant disregard for anyone else bothered me and I felt I needed to address it. Perhaps we could talk somewhere more private?” For the first time, he looked around the room noticing the large crowd of people.

“Whatever you wish to speak to my husband about can be said in front of all of us,” Charlotte cut in. “We are family after all.”

He smirked at her, then turned back towards me. “I believe it would be best these matters be discussed outside of the women’s presence.”

I couldn’t hold back anymore. “With all due respect, if you plan to marry into this family, you will learn we have very strong and opinionated women who are not afraid to speak their minds. If you wish to marry my sister, you will need to learn to respect that aspect.”

He regarded me inquisitively for a moment. “This involves finances and the Denham fortune inherited, not something a woman knows much about.”

I smirked and turned my head feeling a great deal of anger raise inside of me. “If you wish to discuss finances, you’ll need to discuss it with my wife. I am not the holder of the Denham fortune.”

He turned his head, glaring slightly. “Perhaps, we got off on the wrong foot,” he said.

“Perhaps you did,” I retorted. 

“I’d like to discuss the future of Sanditon together, if we could all sit down and take a moment to breathe. Perhaps have a cup of tea to calm us all?” Charlotte suggested.

He hesitated and stared me down with a glare, but eventually relented and had a seat next to Diana. Everyone in the room looked quite concerned and confused. A servant came in and poured a cup of tea for each person and passed a plate of biscuits around. Lord Grasmere took three biscuits before it was even passed through everyone, which I found quite discourteous.

Charlotte stood next to me at the front of the room, trying to feign confidence. I had no idea what she was about to do, but it didn’t matter to me. Whatever it was, I’d stand by her.

“I asked all of you here for a purpose.” Everyone turned their attention to Charlotte, even Lord Grasmere. “We all want Sanditon to be successful and our ideas for its future to be considered. However, it’s a great burden on one person to sustain the town alone, especially when the person fronting the financial burden is not kept in the loop of decisions and expenses.” Charlotte and I both looked towards Tom who lowered his head in shame. “There has been a great deal of emotional turmoil wrapped up in the success of Sanditon. We all benefit from Sanditon’s success, which means we all should have a say in what happens. Lord Grasmere, if you truly are interested in investing in Sanditon, we would be entirely grateful, however, we won’t stand back and allow you to take over either. Everyone in this room, as well as many others, have put far more than just money into this town. We all deserve a say in how things are done.”

“Is that what all of you think I plan to do?” Lord Grasmere asked. He chuckled. “I have no interest in taking over the town. I only wish to make it better while I live here. My soon to be wife has discussed the financial burden Sanditon has taken on her family and wishes to take some of that burden away. That’s all I plan to do.”

“We thank you dearly for your generosity,” Tom interjected. I rolled my eyes at my brother trying to grovel at Lord Grasmere’s feet. 

“Despite what your intentions are, I would like to see this town be successful. With all of our joined efforts I believe it will. We have had a great season with the visit from the Prince Regent and I can only imagine it will get better every year. What I would like to propose is a partnership between everyone in this room.”

“A partnership?” Mary asked.

“What sort of partnership?” Crowe asked.

Even I had these questions, but kept my mouth shut while Charlotte continued. “Going forward, nothing in Sanditon is done or decided without the agreement of everyone in this room.”

“Agreement?” Crowe scoffed. “You expect everyone in this room to be in agreement about anything?”

“Perhaps not entirely, but at least a majority decision,” Charlotte explained. “We can work together and hold each other accountable for our actions, and not leave the burden of this town on one person. Lady Denham was a great lady, but she took on far more than she should have without the assurance of ever receiving her investment back. This caused a rift in the town that I don’t wish to repeat.”

“I believe I agree with your thoughts, Mrs. Parker,” Lord Grasmere said. “If the men in this room want to form a committee going forward, it’s a fine idea.”

“I’m afraid you misinterpret what my wife is suggesting,” I said, feeling angry again. “Everyone in this room will have a vote, including the women.”

He shook his head and laughed boisterously. “You can’t be serious. What type of knowledge would they have on this town?”

Mary spoke up first in a harsh tone. “I have stood by my husband throughout this entire process and supported his decisions. However, if I had known about his financial blunders, I would have worked with him to fix the problem.”

“Charlotte practically oversaw the entire rebuild of the Terrace after the fire,” Arthur added. “She’s more capable than most men, I believe.” I appreciated my brother for speaking up.

“Alison was out there every day Charlotte was helping with the rebuild working tirelessly to complete the task at hand,” Crowe added, defending his own wife.

“Why would you believe the women in this family wouldn’t have some insight on what Sanditon needs? Is it not us who do the planning for events and parties? Is it not us who oversee the social connections made?” Diana asked looking hurt by her betrotheds disrespect.

“Well yes, but…”

“But what, Lord Grasmere?” I asked. He stumbled over his words and didn’t come up with much to say. “Like I said earlier, we have strong women in this family. If you wish to join our family, you will need to respect this.”

“Precisely why I’m suggesting we do things this way. Everyone in this room brings something great to Sanditon. Everyone in this room is family, including you, Lord Grasmere. We build Sanditon as a family for families. We are stronger as a team than divided,” Charlotte said. “What do you say, Lord Grasmere?”

Everyone in the room stared at him expectantly. Even Diana had a look of frustration. “It appears I’m outnumbered. I suppose I can entertain the idea of letting women have a say in what happens here in Sanditon. If I am to live here now, I will have to get used to a new way of thinking, I suppose.”

There was a resounding sigh throughout the room. Diana grinned pleasantly and kissed her future husband on the cheek. I knew deep down she didn’t love him as I loved Charlotte, but it was apparent she truly did care and respect him. I hoped after today’s conversation he felt the same way about her and treated her well.

For the rest of the day, we discussed the future of Sanditon as a team, as a family. There were plenty of arguments and strong opinions being spewed across the room, but in the end, I thought what Charlotte had done was more successful than anything else. It made sense for us all to work as a team. This prevented another incident Tom had found himself in months ago. If anything happened, we were all held accountable. 

As the day went on, I had grown to respect Lord Grasmere more. He did have a lot of strong opinions but was willing to hear others out. The most opinionated people in the room were surprisingly the women. However, they made the most logical sense when it came to new ideas. The most pressing was the Arab stallion plan Tom had come up with. We all agreed it would be successful, however, Tom wanted to make it grand from the start. This was something we would have to work up to. He didn’t like his grand plan being shot down. In the end, we came to a compromise on how to move forward.

At the end of the day, we ate in the dining hall as a family and had a few good laughs. Charlotte’s plan, as simple as it was, had been a success. She looked absolutely radiant sitting at the head of the table looking at the family she married into, but in my mind had always been a part of. There was a hole missing from our family until she came along. I thought back on how we had gotten to this point and all the little events that had happened to get us where we are today. I was thankful I had the good sense to fight for what I wanted. All I’d ever need was Charlotte.

After a successful day, Charlotte and I went to our room. She had instructed the bedtime dresser that no one was to disturb us, ever, once our bedroom door was closed for the night, unless it was an absolute emergency. 

“Yes, ma’am.” The woman bowed at Charlotte and walked down the hall.

I leaned in the doorway with my arms across my chest, grinning at Charlotte. She took a few steps towards me and pushed against my chest to push me inside the room and shut the door behind us. I laughed at her assertiveness, but fully enjoyed it. She crushed her lips to mine as we stumbled to remove each other’s clothing and make our way to the bed. 

The following day we didn’t leave the room until the noon hour, partly testing the staff to see if they listened to her request, but also just wanting to be alone like we were in the cabin. Like requested, no one bothered us. 

Two weeks after our meeting with Lord Grasmere, Charlotte and I sat in the church and watched Diana walk down the aisle and marry Lord Grasmere. I still had my apprehension about the union, but my sister seemed confident about her decision. They left right after the wedding breakfast for his London estate where they would stay until his new Sanditon estate was built in the spring and summer months. 

The winter months passed rather quickly as we continued to plan out our next steps for Sanditon. As spring approached, flowers began to bloom, and trees were filling with green leaves. Birds and other animals were coming out of their winter hideaways. Sun was beginning to shine and warm the long-frozen ground. We had all settled in for the winter and were getting restless for some entertainment now that Sanditon was warming up and the livelier season was approaching.

Charlotte and I had begun getting used to staying in our room until the late morning hours. Our time alone was when we were truly happy. The nightgowns placed at the end of the bed night after night for Charlotte were never used. I preferred to marvel at her naked body while we lied in bed and she was always a welcome sight in the morning. Always eager to learn and be learned in our bedroom. We were quite active in our early weeks of marriage, but I hoped we would always be the same however long we were married. 

Once we left the sanctuary of our room, we were once again forced into being the proper leaders of the home and the town of Sanditon. Sometimes it was hard watching her from across the room, knowing I couldn’t kiss her or even touch her until later in the evening. Which is where I found myself now. Charlotte sat on a chair reading a book and looking as if she was entirely engrossed in the story while Alison played the piano absentmindedly. Crowe leaned over the piano grinning at Alison while she played. Georgiana sat across the room writing a letter, I assumed to Otis again, even though he had yet to send her a single letter. I sat in a chair across from Charlotte attempting to read the paper. But she was distracting me with the way she tapped her foot against the floor and bit her lip while reading something concerning then smiling big when something good happened in the story. Page after page, I watched her read feeling entirely helpless to do anything about my desire for her. 

Her eyes lifted for a brief moment, meeting mine. She gave me a shy smile before returning to her book. I couldn’t take it any longer. I folded the paper and tossed it aside before standing abruptly. Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and stared at me curiously. 

“I think I need a walk,” I announced. “Charlotte?”

She closed her book and stood, always willing to follow me wherever I went. “Should I get Heraclitus?” she asked.

“No!” I said a bit too quickly. I glanced across the room where he slept on his plush bed in the corner. “He looks rather comfortable. Let’s go alone.”

“Oh, good gracious!” Georgiana said, rolling her eyes. “Again?”

I shot a warning glace at Georgiana before grabbing Charlotte’s hand and leading her out of the room. 

“Have fun,” Crowe called with a chuckle. Alison smacked his arm and scolded him for his comment. There had been a time or two Alison and Crowe had snuck away. I’m not sure why he felt the need to tease me on the same actions. 

I led Charlotte out the door and quickly steered her across the yard, going farther away from the house and under the protection of the trees.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

**~**

I stopped and turned towards her. I pulled her close to me and kissed her forcefully. “I needed you alone.”

Understanding crossed her face and she grinned excitedly. Her arms came up around my neck, pulling me down to her for another kiss. I rested my head against hers, feeling better being close to her, but knowing it wasn’t enough. “What brought this on?”

I chuckled and wrapped her in my arms even closer. “Everything you do is mesmerizing,” I whispered against her lips before stealing another kiss.

I led her farther into the trees so I was sure no one would ever come upon us. I sat down on the damp ground, leaning against a tree and pulled her into my lap. Our lips met for a fervent kiss. My arms wrapped around her waist, holding her close while she held my face in hers. 

One of my hands ventured up her skirts seeking out bare skin under all her layers of clothing.

“Here?” she whispered.

I looked up at her face and gave her a desperate expression. “Please?” 

I loved when she would give me the sweet relenting look letting me know I would have whatever it was I wished for. 

With her help, we pulled up the layers from her skirt before I undid my pants exposing myself to her. Slowly, she lowered herself around me causing me to gasp and moan. I desperately sought out bare skin along her shoulders and neck to kiss and suckle. Her hips began to rock against mine, causing her to make the wonderful sounds I’d come to enjoy. Our lips found each other again for passionate and desperate kisses. My hands held her hips tightly under all her layers of clothing, guiding her to move against me. She whimpered in my ear as her head fell to my shoulder. Those little sounds she made undid me. With a loud groan and raise of my hips, I released inside of her, feeling entirely at ease afterwards. 

We sat for quite a while, trying to catch our breaths and reveling in what had just happened. I would have been completely content staying in the woods with her all day.

**~**

“I think I’ve decided what Sanditon House needs?” she said, brushing her fingers through my hair and resting them at the base of my neck.

“What might that be?” I asked playfully. 

“We need a hunting cabin, built right here in the trees far enough away from the house, but still close enough for us to escape to on foot. Someplace only we go to; no servants, no guests, no family.”

I grinned, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. “What a wonderful idea.”

“Of course, we will need to hire a nanny to look after the baby while we are away.”

My stomach tightened and my eyes searched her face for answers. “Are you?” I asked, my eyes wide with concern. She gave me a brilliant smile and slightly nodded her head. “You’re certain?”

“I’m fairly sure I know the signs. My mother had plenty of children.” 

I thought back on the weeks and instantly felt like a fool for not picking up on the signs. She had complained about feeling queasy, was lightheaded when she got up in the morning, not eating much during the day and preferring to only have tea and toast, was tired earlier in the evening than usual, which I mistook as her way of just wanting to go to bed and be alone sooner. How did I miss the signs? How did I hurt her for not taking better care of her? 

“How long have you known?” I asked.

“I suspected about a month after we got back from the cabin. I have wanted to tell you for weeks, but I just couldn’t find the right time.”

“We’ve been alone every night in our room. Why didn’t you tell me then?” I wondered.

“I guess I just wanted to be sure. I didn’t want you to get excited and then find out it wasn’t true,” she explained. “Are you upset?” 

As upset as I was she hadn’t told me earlier, I was more overwhelmed with happiness. It’s all I’d ever dreamed of but never thought would ever happen. I’d married the most wonderful woman in all the world and now was about to become a father thanks to her. My chest filled with pride and I felt I smiled bigger than ever before. I kissed her gently, suddenly feeling that everything I did could potentially hurt her or the baby. “I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. What a wonderful life you have given me.”

She smiled in return. I could sense her relief that I was thrilled. I wondered if anyone else knew yet. I assumed she hadn’t said a thing to anyone, but perhaps a few servants suspected, especially with her choice of food lately. 

Once we got up and fixed our appearance the best we could, we walked back to the house hand in hand. We both were grinning excitedly at the thought of a baby coming into our lives. 

“Have you told anyone?” I asked.

“I sent a letter to my mother yesterday. Other than that, I wanted you to be the first to know.”

“Is there anything I can do? Should I give you space? Perhaps I should sleep in another room, so I don’t hurt you.”

She laughed and squeezed my hand. “Sidney, nothing you have done or will do could hurt me or the baby. You just need to support me, which means being next to me at all times.”

“Are you sure?” 

“I think being away from you, especially at night, would cause me more harm than good. I need you to hold me and reassure me.”

I pulled her close and stopped us from walking. “I can definitely do that.” I kissed her forehead and felt overjoyed with what was to come.

“Should we tell everyone?” she asked.

“Are you ready to?” I asked.

“Unless you don’t think it’s the right time.”

“Perhaps we should wait a day or two just so I can wrap my head around it and be prepared for the comments I’m sure are to come from Crowe and even Georgiana.”

“Perhaps you’re right. I know Alison has suspected she was pregnant a couple times but then it turned out she wasn’t. It’s been a troubling experience for her. I don’t want to upset her with my news when she is still waiting.”

“Has she talked to Crowe about it?” I wondered. He had never said anything to me about it, but I don’t know if it’s a subject you talk to another man about. More a subject kept private between a man and his wife.

“She has. It’s been a stressor on their marriage. She wants kids and he always says he does too, but every time she’s not pregnant he seems relieved. She’s confided in me about his past, so I do understand why he may have some fear about Alison being pregnant, but it hurts her feelings when he seems more thrilled she’s not than if she actually was.”

“Crowe has had a difficult life. I suspect when she does finally get pregnant, he will be a wreck until the baby is born and not only is the baby alright, but Alison is alright too. He will more than likely have those fears with every child they have regardless of how many successful pregnancies she has.”

“I believe you’re right. It’s just difficult for my sister, who is emotional and heartbroken about these things.”

“We will hold on to our news for a while longer,” I said decidedly. 

“Not too long, otherwise everyone will be able to figure it out just by looking at me.” She ran her hand over the fabric of her dress along her stomach as if there was already a growing bulge. I placed my hand over hers at her stomach and smiled proudly. When we were alone at night, I’d have to look more closely at her stomach and our growing child inside of her.

We continued our walk to the house and stepped inside hand in hand, still giggling from the secret we now shared. 

“Letter for you, ma’am.” A servant handed Charlotte a letter just as we walked in. Charlotte thanked the servant and looked at who it was from. 

"It's from Lord Banington," she said, quickly ripped the letter open and reading it with great focus.

“What is it?” I asked.

“It’s Esther. She’s apparently not doing so well with her pregnancy. She’s been unable to keep anything down and has been stricken to her bed for weeks. He’s asking me to come visit her to give her some comfort. I must go at once.”

“Are you alright to travel?” I asked, fearing for her safety even more now than ever before.

“Of course, I’m alright. Why wouldn’t I be?” I glanced down at her stomach before giving her a pointed stare. She rolled her eyes. “I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll let everyone know and ask the servants to pack us a couple bags,” I said.

“Us?” she said.

“I’m not about to let my wife go to London carrying my child on her own. We will go together. Wasn't that the agreement? Never to be parted from each other again?”

She smiled and leaned in to kiss me. “Thank you.”


	38. The Babington's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There is a sex scene in this chapter. It might be the last for this story. Again, marked with **~**
> 
> DOUBLE WARNING: There is some content that could be triggering to anyone who has had a difficult pregnancy or lost a child. I, for one, am no stranger to this and it was hard at times for me to even write this chapter. All ends well, I promise. But reading it might be hard. I am truly sorry if any of this upsets anyone.

~Charlotte~

Sidney and I pulled up in front of the Babington estate early the next morning. We rode through the night to get there quicker and slept as much as possible in the carriage. I woke many times, feeling nauseous from the bumpy carriage ride, but thankfully was able to push the queasiness away. Sidney awoke with every startle from me with absolute concern and fear on his face. I sort of regretted telling him about the baby now. If I had known we would be racing through the night to get to Esther, I would have waited. 

We chose not to tell anyone about our sudden visit. I didn't want to upset anyone. Instead, we told them we had to attend to some urgent business matters and were planning a visit to the Babington Estate while we were there. No one seemed to question our reasoning.

“Good morning, sir,” Sidney was greeted as he stepped out of the carriage. 

“Good morning. Could you please let Lord Babington know Sidney and Charlotte Parker are here?” 

“Of course,” the servant bowed his head and headed back into the house. Sidney helped me out of the carriage with more care than usual. I had to suppress an eye roll. 

“You don’t have to be so careful, you know,” I said. “I won’t break merely because I’m with child.”

“I’m not taking any chances,” he teased. I shook my head and smiled up at him. Tucking my hand around his arm, we walked into the house together. 

“Sidney, Charlotte,” Babington greeted with great exuberance. “I’m so thankful you are here. I’m entirely at your mercy. Please tell me Esther will be alright. Will the baby be alright?”

“Can I see her?” I asked. I couldn't give him an answer without first seeing her. Quite frankly, I didn't think I was the right person to be giving an answer on the subject anyway. 

“Don’t you want to rest first?” Sidney asked.

“I’m perfectly fine,” I said determinedly. “We came here to see Esther and that’s exactly what I plan to do.” Sidney relented and gave me a sharp bow of approval.

“Come with me,” Lord Babington said, leading the way down a long hallway. He slowly opened the door to her bedroom. The curtains were shut tight blocking out all sunlight. The room was muggy even in the early morning hours and there was an unpleasant smell I couldn’t place but made my stomach turn. Sidney and Lord Babington stood near the doorway while I walked past them and sat next to Esther. Her skin was pale and her face seemed thin, which was unusual for someone so far along in pregnancy. I reached for her hand and held it between mine. Even her hand was thin and cold at the touch. 

Her eyes slowly opened. She could barely keep her eyes open long enough to focus on me and her breaths were labored. “Esther,” I whispered. “It’s Charlotte. How are you feeling?”

“Charlotte,” she breathed. Her boney hand tightened around mine. “Please make it go away.”

“I’ll do everything I can to help you. I promise.”

Within moments she rolled over and wretched into a bedside bucket. The smell hit me hard and I had to leave the room to prevent from being sick myself. I quickly bolted past Lord Babington and Sidney with my hand clasped against my face. Thankfully a servant came rushing in and helped Esther. 

“How long has she been like this?” I asked.

“Weeks,” Lord Babington answered. “In all truthness, the entire pregnancy has been difficult for her. I thought she was getting better, then it started up again.” His face was desperate for answers. “Please, Charlotte. Is she going to be alright? I can’t lose her.”

“I’m not a doctor, nor am I a midwife. I can’t rightly say,” I answered.

“You’re the most knowledgeable person we know when it comes to pregnancies. I need some sort of reassurance. Please! Anything you can offer for comfort,” he begged.

I didn’t know what to tell him. I wished I could say she would be just fine, but I honestly didn’t know. My mother had a couple pregnancies that were somewhat difficult, but nothing like this. “Has she been seen by a doctor or a midwife?” I asked.

“The doctor has been here at times. I’m told this is all normal. I can’t imagine this being normal.”

“This is definitely not normal,” I assured. 

“What can I do?” he asked. “The doctor has been giving her a tonic to help, but she just keeps getting worse.”

“What sort of tonic?” I asked, confused by the news. I had never heard of a doctor giving someone a tonic for pregnancy complications.

“I don’t know the name. He gives it to me in a clear bottle and instructs me to give it to her every four hours around the clock,” he explained.

“It doesn’t seem to be helping. Why are you still giving it to her?” I asked angrily. 

He looked ashamed as realization hit him. His face looked entirely pained as if he was about to cry. “What should I do?”

“First of all, no more tonic,” I instructed. “We need to open the curtains and the windows of the room. She needs some fresh air. The room needs to be cleaned thoroughly also. I have brought some tea that I’ve been swearing by as did my mother. I believe it’s the same type Doctor Fuchs gave her. I’ll give it to the staff to have a cup made for her.”

He reached for my hands and squeezed them. “Thank you, Charlotte. Thank you.” He quickly took off down the hall to instruct the staff on what to do leaving Sidney and I alone outside of her room.

“Is she truly going to be alright?” he asked.

I gave him a grave look. “I don’t know. She doesn’t look well.”

He nodded his head with a terrified expression. “Is this what I need to prepare myself for?”

I took a step towards him and kissed his lips gently trying to reassure him. “This isn’t normal. I can’t say there won’t be difficult times, but I wouldn’t say you need to prepare yourself for this type of experience.” He let out a sigh of relief, but still had a look of fear on his face. “I’ll be just fine. We need to focus on Esther right now.”

He nodded his head, accepting my answer and agreeing to focus on Esther. I instructed him to get my bag where I had stashed my tea just as Lord Babington was returning with servants. They all quickly went into the room and started opening up the blinds and windows. Esther turned and protested with nothing more than a whisper. I went back to her side and assured her it had to be done if she wanted to get better. Servants began cleaning every surface in the room and I helped them change out her bedding without jostling her too much. 

When Sidney returned, he talked to Lord Babington for a few moments and steered him out of the room. 

“Get another blanket,” I instructed. A servant quickly ran out of the room and returned with a plush blanket that was thrown on top of Esther. Even through protests, I helped Ester sit up in the bed and propped her up with plenty of pillows. 

She kept begging me to let her sleep and tried hopelessly to curl back up in the blankets. “You can sleep as soon as we get some tea in you,” I said, bringing the cup of tea to her lips and urging her to take a sip. Through whimpers, she did as I instructed. Every few minutes, I brought the cup of tea to her mouth and let her take a sip until the cup was finished. When she was done, I helped her lie back down so she could rest. 

I didn’t leave her bedside for the rest of the day and every couple hours I made her sit up and drink some tea. No tonic was given by Lord Babington or anyone else in the house. Sidney tried to get me to leave her when the sun went down, but I refused. I let her sleep through the night, but I stayed right next to her never sleeping more than a few moments at a time. 

When the sun came up in the morning, I started the routine once again. With every cup of tea she had, the brighter and livelier she appeared. She was able to lift herself up at times and able to hold her own cup of tea. She was able to talk a little more than she could the day before, but she was still tired and rested between every cup. I only left her for a few moments to fill Lord Babington in on her process. Every time I came to speak to him, he seemed more and more relieved. 

By the evening, she was doing much better and even Lord Babington was able to come in and sit by her. He was thrilled to have her back to normal, even if she wasn’t entirely better just yet. I asked the cook to make her a piece of toast. At first, Esther grimaced at the sight of food, but with mine and Lord Babington’s encouragement, she nibbled at a bit of it while she drank her tea. 

With her permission, I asked to feel her stomach and waited for any movement. Thankfully, with the tea and toast in her system, the baby was kicking quite a bit. I grabbed Lord Babington’s hand and rested it right where I had felt the kick. He only had to wait a few moments before he was kicked, causing him to laugh boisterously. Even Esther was laughing and looking happy. 

With things looking as if they were turning around, I left the room and allowed them to have a moment alone. Sidney stood in the doorway and took my hand when I came to him. He led me down the hall into a large bedroom. I imagined this was where he had been sleeping while I cared for Esther. 

“With Esther feeling better, will you allow me to take care of you now?” he asked. Regrettably, I had been so focused on helping Esther that I had neglected myself. Sidney sat me down on the bed and carried a tray over. On the tray was a selection of meats, cheeses, fruit, and toast. There was also a cup of tea. I nearly broke down in tears when I saw what he had done. I imagined the last couple days must have been difficult for him, not only seeing Esther so poorly and questioning if that would be my fate, but also unable to do anything to take care of me. I picked up a piece of cheese and ate it as if it was the most wonderful thing in the world. 

“I am starving,” I said, picking up a piece of toast and taking a bite. 

“Please don’t end up like Esther. I don’t think I could bare it,” he said, looking pained. 

I reached out and brushed my hand across his face. He leaned into my hand and covered it with his own hand. He closed his eyes and swallowed thickly. “You mustn’t worry. I will be perfectly fine.”

After I ate quite a bit and drank the entire cup of tea, Sidney helped me out of my dress and stays and wrapped me in his arms on the bed. His hand rested against my stomach as if he was not only protecting me with his arms, but also our baby. I smiled at his loving touch and nestled into his side. I was asleep almost instantly and slept well, only waking when sun began to shine through the window. 

Sidney helped me get dressed, as he had gotten rather good at tying my stays and buttoning my dresses since we both refused to have a daily dresser back at home. 

We walked down the hall and peaked in on Esther who was looking even better than the day before. Lord Babington was at her side laughing and rubbing her stomach affectionately. “How are you feeling today?” I asked walking into the room. Sidney followed and stood behind me when I took the seat at her bedside. 

“Charlotte, I don’t know what you did, but thank you. I can’t even begin to explain how thankful I am for you,” Lord Babington said. I smiled and nodded, but I didn’t think he had anything to thank me for. I did what anyone would have done. “This is precisely why we asked both of you to be the godparents. There’s absolutely no one better.”

“You work miracles, Charlotte,” Esther said. “I don’t know how, but you do.”

I scoffed. “I didn’t do anything special. I just gave you some tea.”

“Thanks to that tea, I’m actually feeling quite hungry for the first time in weeks,” Esther said. “I don’t think I’ve eaten much at all throughout this entire pregnancy. But suddenly I’m ready to eat, thanks to you.”

“Just don’t overdo it. Toast or bread is good, perhaps a little cheese, maybe eggs. I wouldn’t do anything past that for a day or two.”

“Do you know why I’m feeling so miserable? Is there something wrong with me?” she asked.

I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. “I’m not a doctor. I don’t know anything but what I’ve been taught by my own mother.”

“Whether you have the title of doctor or not, you are far more capable than any man with a doctor title I’ve ever known,” Lord Babington said. 

“I don’t want that man in my home again. He is no doctor,” Esther said angrily.

“I’m sure there’s a midwife in town who may be more knowledgeable about pregnancy and giving birth."

“I was sort of hoping you would be here when the baby is born,” Esther said. 

I smiled and took her hand. “Of course, I’ll be here. But I’m not a midwife. I can’t deliver your baby safely.”

“I believe you could,” Lord Babington said. 

“It might be a bit much for Charlotte to handle at this time,” Sidney interjected. 

Lord Babington and Esther glanced at each other with a knowing grin across their faces. “It’s true then? You are expecting as well?” Lord Babington asked. “I picked up on the tea comment you made about swearing by it yourself. And the way Sidney has been beside himself since you arrived.” Lord Babington grinned at Sidney. 

I glanced up at Sidney who gave me a nod and a slight smile. “It’s true. I’m only about three months along. I haven’t had nearly as difficult a time as you have,” I said.

Esther grinned excitedly and squeezed my hand. “Just think how our children will grow up together. I’m so happy for both of you,” she said.

“What about Crowe and Alison? Are they expecting as well?” Lord Babington asked.

“Not yet. They don’t know about us expecting either,” I said.

“Why ever not?” Lord Babington asked with a confused expression. 

“I barely found out myself before we rushed here,” Sidney said. “Charlotte’s been holding in the news for quite some time.”

“I couldn’t do such a thing. Once I knew for sure, I had to tell everyone,” Esther said. 

“I just wanted to be sure, before I said anything,” I explained.

“Are we the first ones you have told, then?” Lord Babington asked. 

“Other than a letter to my mother, yes,” I answered. They both seemed proud to be the only ones who knew.

“Have you considered any names or have a guess on what you might be having?” Esther asked.

I glanced up at Sidney. “We really haven’t had a lot of time to discuss anything.”

“Perhaps you should take a walk around the park to discuss more?” Lord Babington suggested. “I’ll stay here with Esther and make sure she has her regiment of tea and toast.”

“I suppose we could go for a short walk,” I suggested. Getting outside sounded lovely after being inside the last few days. Sidney offered his hand and helped me to my feet, still treating me as I might break at any moment.

Sidney led me outside and into the well-manicured gardens of the Babington Estate. We walked at a slow pace and were silent for quite some time. 

“Do you think we should ask them to be the godparents?” Sidney asked. “They did ask us to be their child’s. Is it proper to ask them?”

“I always thought we would ask my sister and Mr. Crowe,” I said. “But you are right, they did ask us, so perhaps it’s only fitting.”

“I suppose it’s not a decision we need to make right away,” Sidney said. “You said you think you’re about three months along? Do you have any thoughts on whether it’s a boy or girl? Mary always knew. No one could quite figure out how she knew, but she did, and she was right all four times.”

“My mother always seemed to know as well,” I said with a giggle. “I think there may have only been a time or two that she was wrong. I know with Rachel she thought it was going to be a boy.”

“So, what are your thoughts on our baby?” Sidney asked.

I haven’t really thought about it. I don’t think I actually believed it was true until I sent the letter to my mother and told you. I’ve had just as much time as you to come to terms with the reality of being with child.”

“What do you wish for then?” he asked.

“That’s an impossible question,” I said. “What do you wish for?” 

He stopped and pulled me into his arms, kissing my forehead gently. “I honestly don’t care as long as both you and the baby are safe and healthy. That’s truly all that’s running through my mind right now. Seeing Esther in such a state has me terrified for you.”

“Sidney, not everyone is the same. I’ve barely had any nausea like Esther has had. I can’t imagine I’ll be as bad as she is. It’s been a rather easy pregnancy so far,” I reassured. 

“Still, the thought of you being in the same condition as Esther keeps playing in my mind. I can’t imagine I’ll sleep much for the rest of the pregnancy.”

I laughed. “You better try to get some sleep while you can. Once the baby is born, you’ll never sleep again. Don’t think I’m going to be one of those mothers who hands her baby off to a nanny to care for. My mother never had a nanny, and although I may hire one for while we are away, I do plan to be a hands-on mother.”

He tightened his arms around me and grinned. “I wouldn’t expect anything less. I plan to do the same. I’ve dreamed of this moment for years.” I rested my head against his chest and felt entirely content just being in his arms. I was excited to see Sidney be a father. 

Days went by and every day Esther got better. Her strength had begun to return, and she was even able to take short strolls through the gardens with either Babington or myself. Her stomach had grown so much since last I saw her at mine and Sidney’s wedding. She was nearly to term and it was apparent with the size of her. Despite her own weak body, it appeared as if the baby was going to come out strong and healthy. 

While in London, Sidney and I decided to have dinner with Diana and Lord Grasmere. I believe he wanted to check up on her more than anything. I know he still had reservations about Lord Grasmere. She had settled into her knew life rather comfortably. Lord Grasmere doted on her at every turn. She was truly adored by him and she seemed even happier now than she did when she got married. I was thankful she was happy, even if they didn’t seem like a good match to the rest of the family. 

Diana invited us to a party in the city where everyone who was anyone would be. Both Lord Grasmere and Diana thought it might be a great time to start promoting Sanditon for the season. There were already a few people booking houses at the terrace, but Tom and Lord Grasmere had ambitions to fill every house before the season even begun. 

The night of the party, I dressed in a borrowed dress of Esther’s. I checked in on her before we left. Lord Babington sat at her side nearly every night keeping constant vigil. She seemed in good spirits as did Lord Babington.

Sidney led me to the waiting carriage where we were taken into the heart of London and dropped off at a large estate where the party was being held. Diana found us as soon as we walked in and greeted us excitedly. 

“You came!” she said.

“We do need to promote Sanditon,” Sidney said. 

“I will do my best to help as well,” she said, before slipping away and joining Lord Grasmere. 

I gripped onto Sidney’s arm and took a deep breath. I never felt comfortable in London. There were too many people, and everything was so loud. “I don’t think I’ll wish to dance tonight. I’m afraid my stomach won’t be able to handle the spins.”

“Not to worry. We won’t dance, nor will we stay for long,” he reassured. We walked around arm in arm greeting people we knew with pleasantries and nodding politely to those we didn’t know. Even though our marriage was properly posted in the papers, there were still people, mostly women, who stared at us with curious eyes. It made me rather uncomfortable. Sometimes I wondered if everyone could tell I was already with child. 

“I’m afraid I feel rather out of place,” I said. “I don’t think I will ever feel comfortable in this company.”

“Nor will I, I’m afraid. Much prefer Sanditon,” he said. 

Lord Grasmere called us over from across the room. Sidney led me over and we were introduced to a Mr. Booth. He was newly married and looking for somewhere to spend the season with his new wife. We talked greatly about Sanditon and all its possibilities. By the end of our conversation we had him convinced to take up an apartment for the season. He was looking forward to the annual cricket match and the regatta. 

Sidney grabbed a drink from a passing tray and turned towards me. “One down. How many more to go?” he asked. 

I giggled. “It would take more than one night to fill all of the houses.”

“I’d personally rather we leave,” he said. “I don’t want you overdoing anything.”

“Sidney, how many times do I have to tell you I’m fine?” I asked.

“Can you blame me for worrying about my wife?” he asked with a smile.

“Miss Heywood,” the familiar voice of Isaac Moreland spoke from behind Sidney. Sidney’s genuine smile fell, and the pleasant fake smile appeared instead while he turned around. “And Mr. Parker. What a pleasure to see you both.”

I tucked my hand around Sidney’s arm and held onto his arm with my other hand, so my wedding ring was clearly seen. “It’s Mrs. Parker now.”

“Of course. I am aware of your union. Forgive me, I must have forgotten,” he said.

“No harm done,” Sidney said with an irritated tone.

“What brings you to London?” he asked.

“Lord Babington and Lady Esther are about to have their first child. We came to support them,” I explained leaving out all the details of Esther’s complicated pregnancy. 

“I see.”

“How is your family?” I asked politely. “I heard your brother Andrew is engaged again to Julia Beaufort?”

He laughed and ducked his head. “He is. Although, I’m not entirely sure it’ll work out. Her father doesn’t seem thrilled with the match. He expected her to engage herself higher up in the line of succession.”

“Someone like you, then?” I asked. 

He laughed again and nodded his head. “I believe I made it clear I thought both Beaufort girls a bit too young for my taste.” He sighed and his face became serious again. “Besides, I’ve already engaged myself to another.”

“Did you?” I asked surprisingly. 

“Her name is Maryanne Vallow. She comes from a very prominent family up north,” he explained with great enthusiasm. It was clear he was excited about the union. “We plan to spend the season in Sanditon. She’s never been to the seaside and is very excited to see it.”

“What wonderful news. We look forward to seeing you there. I’m sure your father is thrilled.”

He chuckled. “Of course, he is.” 

“We are both very happy for you and wish you and Miss Vallow a happy future, don’t we Sidney,” I said. 

“Right,” Sidney said. Both men observed each other for a moment as if they were sizing each other up. I gripped onto Sidney’s arm tighter.

“Well, I wish you both a happy future as well. It was a pleasure to see you again… Mrs. Parker. Excuse me,” he said. Sidney bowed towards him as he walked past us. 

“There’s another one. We are on a roll, Sidney,” I said, laughing at how easy it was becoming to convince people to visit Sanditon for the season.

Sidney took a visible deep breath. “Did you ever consider him?” he asked, still watching Mr. Morland retreat out of the room.

“Consider him for what?” I wondered.

Sidney’s eyes focused on mine. “As a potential suitor.”

I laughed. “Why would you think such a thing?”

“It’s clear he considered you. It never crossed your mind?” he wondered.

“There have been a few men who I’m sure had thoughts of marriage, but that doesn’t mean I entertained the idea. On the contrary, I believe it only made me long to be married to you even more. I wasn’t blind to Mr. Moreland’s attraction. He was kind to me, and I enjoyed our talks at times, but he knew from the beginning I was already taken. Perhaps it’s naïve of me, but you’re all I ever wanted. Once I got past the tongue lashings, of course.”

“If I had gone to Antigua, I believe the man would have tried to convince you to marry him. I fear he would have won out in time.” His face looked pained. I took his hand in mine and brought it to my lips for a simple kiss. Anything more would have been improper in this crowd.

“I suppose I should be thankful my husband had the good sense to jump off that ship,” I said playfully. “But even if he hadn’t, he truly had nothing to worry about. I’ve always been yours and I always will.”

The corners of his lips rose slightly, and his expression softened. “What have I done to deserve you?” he asked. His expression and the way he looked at my lips made it very apparent he wished to kiss me. As much as I wanted him to, this was not the place to do so. I ducked my head and took a step away. He looked confused by my actions. 

“Later tonight. We have work to do,” I whispered. He nodded his head in understanding and grinned. 

The rest of the evening, we talked to anyone who would listen. We had plenty of people interested in visiting Sanditon, but just as many who had no interest. Once we mentioned the Prince Regent or Lady Susan visiting again, people’s interest perked. By the end of the night, we had a few confirmed visitors to Sanditon and plenty more who said they would consider it.

Sidney and I boarded the carriage late in the evening and headed back to the Babington Estate. I was exhausted and thrilled to be able to go to bed. I rested my head against Sidney’s shoulder and had nearly fallen asleep when we pulled up in front of the house. Sidney helped me out of the carriage and guided me through the house to our room. 

“I knew you were going to do too much tonight,” he said. “I should have made you stay here.”

“I’m only tired. Besides, you could have told me to stay here all you want, I wouldn’t have to listen.”

He scoffed and shook his head. “I suppose it’s going to take some time to get used to.”

**~**

Sidney turned me around and started undoing all the buttons along my back. His breath was hot against my neck as he leaned in and let his lips brush against my bare skin. I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath, delighting in the sensation. I tilted my head to the side granting him access to my neck. He gently pulled down the sleeve of my dress and left a trail of gentle kisses from my shoulder to my ear. 

“Do you want to sleep?” he whispered against my ear. I shook my head, feeling more alive now than I did just a moment ago. 

He pulled the dress off of me and started to untie the strings of my stays, letting it also fall to the ground. He slowly turned me around and met my lips with his for a tender yet hungry kiss. He pulled the pins from my hair, dropping them to the ground one by one. Slowly, my hair began to fall freely against my shoulders. He brushed it out of the way and once again began kissing my shoulders and down my arm. With slow and careful work, he pulled my shift off, leaving me exposed. Chills from the cold room went up my spine and I shivered slightly.

He quickly stopped kissing my arm and let go of me completely. His arms hovered around me like he was afraid to touch me. He stared at my face with a look of fear. “Are you alright?”

“I’m only a bit cold,” I assured with a giggle.

“Is this… Can we do this?” he asked sounding concerned.

“Of course, we can,” I said. 

“I don’t want to hurt you, or the baby.”

“You won’t. I promise.” I leaned up and kissed him forcefully and taking my turn to undress him. He laughed against my mouth but helped me in the process of undressing him before we made our way to the bed. He was far more gentle than usual, but I sort of liked the sensual and tender side of him. He caressed every part of my body with his fingertips and mouth, causing the most wonderful sensation deep inside of me. I wasn’t expecting his lips and his tongue to find their way between my legs and licking across areas I didn’t even know he could. His fingers also traced through my folds and gently rubbed the tender spot. I liked what his tongue was doing to me. Hushed whimpers left my lips as I arched my hips into him and roughly brushed my fingers through his hair. I enjoyed the feelings and emotions he was evoking inside of me. New sensations I had yet to experience came rushing through me. He smiled brightly up at me after loud moans and cries left me and my body withered under him. 

He stopped at my stomach and left many gentle kisses, clearly thinking about what was inside of me, until he trailed kisses up my body, stopping when he was hovering over me. “You mentioned my tongue earlier. I hope that was more enjoyable than my earlier tongue lashings.”

“I didn’t even know you could do that and cause such feelings in me,” I said, still feeling overwhelmed with emotions.

“Your book didn’t show you anything like this?” he asked with a chuckle.

“I suppose it did,” I said thinking back on some of the pictures. “Perhaps I didn’t quite understand what was happening in the pictures.”

“Did you enjoy it?” he asked.

I grinned at him. “Very much so.”

“Good,” he said proudly.

He lowered himself down on me and began kissing my neck and further still until he reached my breast. His mouth closed around the pert nipple and sucked it between his teeth and swirled that wonderful tongue of his around it. Once again, I felt as if I would come undone. He played with both breasts for a moment before adjusting and sliding inside of me. I gasped and squeezed my hips around him. 

“Is this alright?” he whispered.

“Yes,” I said breathlessly while moving my hips and silently begging him for more. My senses seemed heightened and more prominent. “Yes, please!”

He started out with slow, gentle rocking motions, but I wanted more. I pushed on his chest and his eyes flew open when I lifted off the bed and pushed him to fall on his back. He laughed, but I didn’t. I wanted more. I needed more. Now on top of him, he placed his hands behind his head, sighing and watching me with such desirable eyes while I slid up and down around him. A playful grin appeared on his face. 

“That’s it,” he whispered. “Roll your hips… Yes… Just like that…” Groans of pleasure left his gritted teeth as his hands flew to my hips, pushing and pulling me even harder. His hips bucked into mine with gentle motions. 

“Sidney…” I moaned breathlessly as I tried to match his motions with mine and be the more aggressive lover. Within moments, I came undone around him. He slowed his rocking and let out a pleasurable sigh. Again, that playful grin appeared on his face. He took in a deep breath and stared up at me. “Do you have any idea how much I love you? I still can’t believe I have you as mine.”

I laughed and rolled to his side. He instantly pulled me to him as if he might perish if I wasn’t in his arms. “I suppose I could say the same thing about you. I could never love another like I love you.”

He leaned over and kissed my head. “Nor could I.”

**~**

In the morning, I woke still in Sidney’s arms, but turned the other direction. One of his arms lay under me while the other draped across my hip and his hand pressed against my stomach. I cherished how protective he had become of our baby already. As much as I knew I needed to get up and check on Esther, I couldn’t help myself. I nestled even closer to him, lacing my fingers with his. The sudden movement must have woken him slightly since his fingers gripped onto mine tighter and the arm under me wrapped around my frame. Gentle kisses played across my shoulder and down my back. The sensation tickled and caused me to giggle. He stopped kissing me and smiled against my skin before resting his head back against the pillow. 

“I should get up and see how Esther is doing?” I declared, even though I made no effort to move. 

“I just want to hold you for a moment longer,” he said.

I smiled to myself at how much I enjoyed being in his arms and loving him so fully. Being married to Sidney was the happiest event of my life. I couldn’t imagine something being better. 

“Now that Esther is feeling better, I’d like to go into the city,” I said.

“Do you wish to go dress shopping?” he asked almost in a teasingly way.

I laughed. “No, not exactly. I will need to find more of the tea I use. I also think it might be nice to find something special for Esther and the baby. I’m sure there’s a shop somewhere that sells baby items.”

“Alright. Once you are ready, we can head into the city,” he said. 

I sighed, squeezing his hand one more time before pulling myself up and beginning the day. Sidney helped me get dressed into a flower-patterned day dress and gave me a long, passionate kiss before getting himself ready. While I pinned my hair up and placed a hat on my head, I watched him put on the leather pants and waistcoat I enjoyed, along with a black jacket and black boots. With top hat on and cane in hand, we left the room and walked down the hallway to check in on Esther. When we got to her room, she wasn’t there. I was concerned for a moment, until I looked through a window and noticed she was in the garden with Lord Babington.

We walked outside to greet them and found Esther to be in wonderful spirits. She was still weak and had a hard time standing for too long, but she was doing much better and getting fresh air seemed to suit her. We explained where we were headed and promised to be back by early evening. 

Once we were in London, we found a small shop specializing in tea and I found the specific type I needed plus another type that was exotic and quite interesting. I thought I’d hold on to this one until I got home and was able to try it out with Georgiana and Alison. 

After we were done, Sidney led me into an art gallery where we looked around at some paintings and sculptures arm in arm. There were a few I really enjoyed and admired longer than others. There were mostly landscapes and a few portraits on display. The sculptures were quite intriguing. How someone could take a piece of stone and carve it into a marvelous likeness was simply breathtaking.

“May I help you, sir?” a man asked, stepping out of a back room. He was a short man with graying and thin hair. His clothing was simple and splattered with paint residue. His eyes, though old and weathered, were still full of wonder and expression. He looked like a man who had witnessed many great things of the world.

“Good afternoon. I’m Mr. Sidney Parker, and this is my wife.” Sidney bowed in greeting and I curtsied when the man looked at me with a pleasant expression. “Are you the artist of these fine works?”

“I am, sir. Mr. Fredrickson, at your service.”

“My wife and I live in Sanditon. Have you ever heard of it?” 

“Yes, yes. I’ve heard a great deal about Sanditon. I have a mind to visit someday. I hear it’s quite picturesque.”

“Yes, I do believe you would find much inspiration for your art. Would you be interested in staying for a season in exchange for painting a portrait of me and my wife?” Sidney asked, wasting no time to get to the point.

Mr. Fredrickson excitedly stumbled over his words, but somehow found the words to agree. He and Sidney spoke of arrangements while I continued admiring the artwork.

When Sidney was done, he found me admiring a landscape of a forest with a small cabin hidden among the trees. Sidney placed his hand at the small of my back and looked at the portrait as well. “Doesn’t this one remind you of our stay at the cabin in the woods?” I asked.

“It does, indeed,” he said. “Excuse me, Mr. Fredrickson? Would you mind throwing in this painting to our deal? My wife quite enjoys this one.”

“Yes, sir. Of course, sir. I will personally bring it to you when I come to Sanditon,” he agreed.

Sidney bowed, thanking him and led me out of the shop. “What exactly were the term you offered him?” I wondered.

“In exchange for painting our portrait and now the painting you admired, he will be given a shop in town to display his art for the season as well as living accommodations,” Sidney explained. “Now we just need to find an available shop space.”

“Sidney! You don’t even have a place in mind?” I asked shockingly.

“We will think of something. I’m sure we can find a spot for him. I have to find a way to replace that painting in the front room somehow,” he said with a chuckle.

I sighed and shook my head as we continued to walk slowly down the path. “Even if we do replace it, I’ll find another spot for the portrait. Perhaps above our bed would be a good spot,” I teased.

“Charlotte, I beg you, anywhere but there,” I said desperately, causing me to laugh wholeheartedly. 

“Miss Heywood!” some called out. I turned towards the voice and saw Mr. and Mrs. Stringer walking towards us. 

Sidney and I turned and greeted them politely. “We didn’t know you were coming to London. We would have offered to have you over for tea.”

“It was an unexpected trip,” I explained. “We came to visit some dear friends.”

“How is Sanditon?” Mr. Stringer asked.

“Very well. We will be working on some new buildings during the warmer season, notably the Arab stallion arena and the theatre the Prince Regent has commissioned. Sidney and I were married a few months ago as were Diana Parker and Lord Grasmere and we just recently learned Julia Beaufort is engaged to Andrew Moreland.”

“Oh, forgive me. I called you by the wrong name. You must think me terribly rude,” Mrs. Stringer said. 

“Not at all,” I laughed. “It’s not the first time I’ve been called by the wrong name. It’s still so new to me as well and will take everyone some time to get used to.” 

“Don’t you remember when we were married and how long it took acquaintances to get used to your new name?” Mr. Stringer asked.

“I suppose you’re right,” she agreed. “I feel terrible for my slipup. I read of your union in the papers. It was a small wedding in Sanditon, was it not? And wasn’t there a snowstorm on the day?”

I glanced at Sidney and smiled at the memory of our wedding. “The snow ended up being a blessing in disguise. It made the day even better. We only had family and a couple close friends in attendance.”

“There are rumors the Prince Regent even attended,” she said, almost like she was questioning if it was true but also as if she found it unbelievable. 

“He did actually, as well as Lady Worcester.”

“That must have been quite an uncomfortable ordeal. I couldn’t imagine having the Prince Regent at my wedding,” she said.

“They have become wonderful friends of ours. It wasn’t so terrible,” I explained.

“Do you plan to return to Sanditon for the building, Mr. Stringer?” Sidney asked changing the subject. I let out a small sigh of relief for his help. There was a queasiness that hit me suddenly and my hand rested against my stomach while I tried to surpass it. 

“Unfortunately, we won’t be returning to Sanditon anytime soon. I am still doing my training for architecture and have been helping with many projects here in London,” Mr. Stringer explained.

“Well I do hope you’ll visit again someday,” Sidney said. “If you’ll excuse us, we have some things to attend to still.” Sidney could sense my discomfort and placed his hand at my lower back and led me away. 

“Are you alright?” Sidney asked. 

“I’m just feeling a bit sick. I might need to sit down for a moment,” I said. He quickly led me into an inn with a dining hall and asked to have us seated at once. We were sat at a small table and brought some tea as well as fresh bread. I was thankful for the bread. At least it was something to calm the uneasy feeling in my stomach.

Sidney ordered some simple soup for both of us. I think the man taking our order could tell I was with child and not feeling well. He handed me an extra napkin and brought out another tray of bread. After eating a little something, I felt much better and Sidney and I were able to continue our excursion in the city. We found plenty of shops with baby items. We even bought a few things for our own baby. It was exciting to look at baby items and know it was only a short time away before Sidney and I would be parents also. 

At the end of the day, we returned to the Babington Estate and shared with Esther what we had found for her baby. She was overwhelmed with joy. Since she has had such a terrible time with her pregnancy, she wasn’t able to prepare much for the baby. I was happy we were able to provide her with a few items to help her out.

By the end of the week, Sidney and I had been to another party as well as the theatre. I much enjoyed the theatre. I laughed and cried through the entire show, loving every minute of it. Sidney and I were able to make plenty of connections and speak of Sanditon and all it offered. Even though our main goal for coming to London was to see Esther and help her through her pregnancy, we had made our trip even more successful by promoting Sanditon. 

With Esther feeling better, we had decided to head home before the town filled up with patrons for the season. Esther protested and wished we would stay longer, but she knew why we needed to return, and I did promise to come back when it was closer to delivery time. I was not going to pass up an opportunity to see the baby. Perhaps I’d bring Alison and Georgiana with me the next time we came to visit.

On the night before we were to head back to Sanditon, Sidney and I were awoken by a loud banging against our door. Sidney quickly released his hold around me and put on a pair of pants before opening the door to see what was going on. I wrapped the bedsheets around my naked body and tried to listen to what was wrong. 

“It’s Esther. She’s throwing up again. She’s spiked a fever this time and she says she has such terrible pains,” Lord Babington shouted with desperate breaths. “Please. She’s asking for Charlotte.”

“We’ll be right there,” Sidney said. Once the door was shut, I hopped out of bed and threw on the dress I had worn that day and asked Sidney to help with the buttons. I didn’t care if it was even on correctly. I just knew I needed to get to Esther. Before Sidney had a chance to dress himself, I left the room and ran down the hallway to Esther’s room. 

“Charlotte,” she cried. “What is wrong with me now?”

“It’s alright. We will take good care of you.”

She grimaced in pain and rolled to her side. I felt her stomach and knew instantly what was happening. She was in labor. I left her side for a moment and told Lord Babington to send for the midwife. He was quite confused but followed directions and had one of his servants ride into town to fetch the midwife. I asked another servant to bring fresh towels and boiling water. 

“What’s going on?” Sidney asked with concern. 

“She’s in labor,” I explained calmly.

“You’re certain?” he asked. “It’s too early isn’t it?”

I nodded my head. “With her spiking a fever and retching again, I’m worried; not only for her safety but for the baby as well.”

“What can I do to help?” he asked. 

“Try to keep Lord Babington calm. I’ll stay with her until the midwife gets here.”

Sidney nodded his head and went to fetch Lord Babington from the room and steer him out. Once he was away, I stepped closer to Esther and took her hand. 

“What’s happening?” she asked, a horrified look on her face. 

“You’re in labor. The baby is coming.”

“No!” she shouted. “It’s too soon.” Tears streamed down her face.

“It’s only a month early.”

“Will the baby be alright?” she cried.

I sighed, not knowing how to answer that question. As much as I worried about the baby living, I also worried about her life. “I will do everything I can to help you and the baby.”

Another pain hit her, and she screamed in agony. I couldn’t wait for the midwife. I had to check to see where she was in delivery. I told her what I was going to do, but she was in so much pain, she didn’t seem to listen. I asked the servant in the room to dab her head and neck with a cold cloth to help ease the fever. I went to the end of the bed and lifted the blankets to get a better look at the progress. She was close, but I had no idea how close. I’d never delivered a baby before. I had helped with animals and I’d been present when my mother had some of my siblings, but I’d never done anything on my own. I felt around and could feel the baby’s head already coming through. My heart about stopped. I thought we’d have more time. My mother would be in labor for days it seemed. 

“Do you feel an urge to push?” She didn’t answer. She looked entirely exhausted and was taking labored breaths. 

I felt the baby shift against my fingers, and I knew she needed to push. “Esther, you have to push. The baby is coming. You have to push!” She shook her head and tears streamed down her face. I knew she was scared, but despite what happened to the baby, she couldn’t stop the inevitable.

I went to her side and held her hand again. I too began to cry with her. “I know you’re scared. I am too. But you can’t keep the baby inside. You have to push. If you don’t you both will perish. Please push.”

“I can’t. It’s too soon. Charlotte, please make it stop, just a little while longer.”

“I can’t make it stop. You have to push.”

Loud wails came from her mouth and her head fell back against the pillow. She started to push but cried in torment the entire time. I could barely see through my own tear blurred eyes and I felt for the baby again and guided the head out. Once the head was through, the rest of the baby came out rather quickly. He was small but with a little coaxing and a swab of his mouth, he began to cry and wriggle in my arms. I cleaned him up a little and laid him against Esther’s chest. I let out the breath I had been holding and broke down in loud sobs. I cried from fear but also from relief. 

Esther held her baby boy close and wiped his face with the sheet across her. “Is he alright?” she asked. Her body was shaking uncontrollably causing her words to come out shakingly.

“I believe so. He seems healthy. How are you feeling?” I asked.

She let out a labored laugh and looked down at her son. “Much better now. As long as he’s alright.” 

She cradled him in her arms for a few minutes, while I waited for the afterbirth and for the midwife to arrive. I wanted to go collapse in Sidney’s arms and have him comfort me after such a traumatic event. I hoped he was keeping Lord Babington as calm as possible.

I glanced over at Esther and a pained expression hit her face. “Take him,” she said holding him out towards me. “I can’t breathe.”

I quickly took him from her arms and watched in horror as she writhed in pain once again. Something wasn’t right. 

“Open the windows. She needs air,” I ordered. A servant ran to the windows and threw them open while I handed the baby off to another servant and looked again to see what was happening. To my surprise, I felt a shoulder. 

What’s wrong?” the servant asked.

“It’s another one.”

“Two babies?” she asked.

“I need to turn it. It’s not in the right position.” 

“What’s happening?” Esther asked. She was so weak from everything she had been through she could barely lift her head from the pillow.

I went to her side and explained about the second baby. Once again, she started to cry. It was highly unlikely a second baby would survive considering everything. I tried to give her hope, but she knew what the outcome looked like. 

Another pain hit her, and I went to the end of the bed to see what I could do to move the baby in position. With lots of rolling and pushing against her stomach, I felt the baby’s head sit into the pelvis. I felt again and through tears from both of us, I told her to push. With all the strength she had left, she began to push. As the baby’s head started to emerge, the door burst open and an older woman appeared. I turned my head to look at her and thought she must be the midwife. Yet she didn’t make her way towards us. She stood in utter shock as she looked around the room.

“Are you the midwife?” I shouted. She nodded her head but still didn’t move. “Are you going to help me?”

“No!” Esther shouted. “I don’t want anyone else. I only want Charlotte.”

I shook my head and whined at what she was saying. Fresh tears filled my eyes. I couldn’t do it again. Despite my fear, Esther had the urge to push again and with all her might pushed the baby out. Once again, I coaxed the baby out and wiped the baby’s face. I wrapped her up in a fresh cloth. She took a little longer to take a breath, but once she did, she was just as feisty as her brother. She was much tinier than the boy, but she had more spirit already. 

I convinced Esther to let the midwife step in and help with the rest and also to make sure there weren’t anymore babies. She held her two babies in her arms and looked completely content. 

“Thank you,” she said. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”

I held her hand in mine and nodded my head in understanding. I was still worried about Esther’s spike in fever, but she seemed fine and was gaining strength every moment she held her babies. 

“Should I let Lord Babington know what has transpired?” I asked. “I’m sure he’s anxious to see you.”

She smiled and nodded her head. “Don’t tell him. I want to show him.”

I agreed and left the room to find Sidney and Lord Babington. They were both pacing the floors of the drawing room when I walked in. When they noticed me, they both bolted across the room stopping mere steps from me. Lord Babington had clearly been pulling his hair as it now stood up on end. 

“How is she?” Lord Babington asked desperately. “Is the baby alright? Is it a boy or girl? Please Charlotte, I need some answers.”

“Everyone is fine. You can go in and see them now,” I said. He bolted past me and ran to the room.”

I looked up at Sidney and burst into tears. I fell into his arms and welcomed his comfort. “What happened? Are you alright?” he asked with terror in his voice. 

“Sidney. That’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in all my life,” I cried against his chest. “If something had happened to any of them, I would never be able to forgive myself.”

He soothed my hair and rocked me back and forth in a comforting way. “But nothing happened to them, right? Esther and the baby are fine, aren’t they?”

I rose my head to look at him. “There’s two.”

“What?”

“There’s two babies. She had twins,” I explained through tears. “I had to deliver both of them. I keep thinking about what could have happened. What could have gone wrong. I was so scared.”

He sighed and tightened his hold around me. “But nothing happened. You were brave and did everything right. You stepped up and took charge like you always do. You’re the bravest and wisest person I know. You are far more capable than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s why I love you.”

His words helped to sooth me, but mostly comfort came from just being held by him. 

As dawn approached, Sidney and I walked down the hall and peaked into the room. Lord Babington held his babies in his arms and cooed at them while Esther rested. 

“Come,” Lord Babington motioned for us to come in. “Come meet my children.”

We walked inside and carefully he handed each of us a baby. Sidney looked a bit terrified at first but was a natural. 

“They're so small,” Sidney said. 

“They are a few weeks early,” I reminded. “No wonder Esther has been in such poor health. She had two babies making her sick.”

“Charlotte, I can’t even begin to tell you how thankful I am,” Lord Babington said. “You not only saved my wife, but you also saved my children. How can I ever repay you?”

“It was nothing. I’m only happy everything turned out alright in the end.”

“I will find something I can do, one of these days, to repay you for your kindness,” he promised.

Esther woke up a moment later and asked for her babies. We brought them to her and placed them in her arms. Babington sat down next to her. They were in a family bubble of happiness. Sidney and I left the room and attempted to get some rest for a couple hours. I could have probably slept for days, but holding the babies was constantly on my mind. I couldn’t get enough of them. Sidney was exactly the same. He constantly had a baby in his arms. 

Two weeks past and we still had not headed home. I had a feeling we would never be able to leave. We stood in front of the church waiting for the christening. Alison and Crowe as well as Georgiana, Tom and Mary, and Arthur made the trip from Sanditon to be here for the special occasion. 

Esther had recovered completely and was back to her lively self. Both babies were thriving and doing very well considering they were born early. Even Lord Babington was back to normal after such a traumatic event where he very easily could have lost his wife and possibly his children. 

“Sidney, Charlotte,” Lord Babington called. We walked over to him and Esther who held the babies in their arms. “It's customary for the godparents to carry them in.”

“Right,” Sidney said, putting his arms out to take a baby while I took the other baby from Esther. Sidney never passed up a moment to hold one of the babies.

“Another thing,” Esther began. “As godparents, you also have to announce the names.” Both Sidney and I nodded our heads in understanding. Esther and Lord Babington shared a smile with each other before turning back towards us. “Their names will be Montgomery Sidney Babington and Elizabeth Charlotte Babington.”

I giggled and tears sprung to my eyes. “You’re sure?” 

“We’ve given it a great deal of thought and there’s no way either of them or Esther would be here if it wasn’t for the both of you. If you approve, we want them to be named after their godparents,” Lord Babington explained.

“Of course, we approve,” I said. “There’s no greater honor.” 

“Can I call them Sid and Char for short?” Sidney teased with a chuckle.

“Perhaps better nicknames would be Monty and Lizzie,” Lord Babington suggested. They had a good laugh at their nickname choices, but I couldn't see myself calling them anything but Montgomery and Elizabeth. It was still a great honor to have them be named after us.

Before we knew it, we were walking into the church with both babies and presenting them to the church for Christening. The event made me all too aware that this would be us in just a few more months and we would need to choose godparents for our own child. The thought made me grin excitedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully everyone is still alright after that chapter. If there are any questions please feel free to ask in the comments. 
> 
> I want to say there is probably 1 more chapter and then the epilogue, but we will see how long the next chapter ends up being. This chapter was 10,000 words, which is a lot.


	39. A Child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long delay. I've needed to take some time to focus on my family. We have been going through a lot lately.
> 
> I know so many of you don't want this story to end, but all good things must come to an end at some point. I plan to write at least one more chapter, and I'm sure it'll be a long one set ten years in the future.

~Charlotte~

Sidney and I finally made our way home after an extended stay with the Babington’s. We were greeted with welcoming arms and lots of town gossip. As soon as we returned, Sidney got to work figuring out where to set up Mr. Fredrickson’s art gallery in town as well as the library Alison and I had been trying to find a place for. Lady Denham’s books needed to be shared with the world. My father had returned with my brother Simon to help with the Arab stallion area. Sidney was gone a lot helping and always managing something. Even though I wanted to be a part of it and somehow found a way to sneak into the action at times, I had to learn to take it easy. 

It was getting harder to hide the pregnancy. Many of the staff knew but didn’t say anything. Thankfully Alison was oblivious. I had suspicions Georgiana knew, but again she didn’t say anything. At least not to me. 

Sanditon was quite a bit busier than when we left. Nearly all the apartments at the Terrace were taken up for the season, new people were always arriving. There was much discussion about building a second hotel as well as the stable for the stallions. 

Mr. Fredrickson had settled into a small partition among the shops in town. It wasn’t quite as big as the place he had in London, but he was happy and thrilled with all the new business he was going to get in a resort town. As promised, he delivered the painting of the cabin in the woods and arrived to paint a portrait of me and Sidney. I had relented to Sidney’s wishes and had the painting of him moved to the upstairs hallway. He wasn’t thrilled about it, but he liked it there more than the front room. 

Sidney and I sat together outside for the painting to start to take shape. Mr. Fredrickson was quite the artist. With focused attention, he moved his brushes and pencils across the canvas with so much ease. Sidney and I had opted to wear what we had worn on our wedding day. I loved the dress Lady Susan helped create and wanted an excuse to wear it again before it didn’t fit anymore. Mr. Fredrickson positioned us sitting on the ground, with Sidney behind supporting me. I appreciated Mr. Fredrickson allowing us to be in a more relaxed position. Most paintings were stiff and dull. 

“How is the town?” I asked Sidney as we sat very still.

“Very well,” he responded. “Everything is coming together. Although, I’m not entirely sure what to do with all Lady D’s asses. I never realized she had so many and there isn’t much of a need for them.”

“She swore by their milk. She thought it was the cure for everything,” I explained. “That and sea water.”

“Yes. But what do we do with them now? I don’t know many people who still believe this.”

“Perhaps we could keep just a few and donate the other’s?” I suggested.

“I had a thought along those lines,” he said. 

“Please hold perfectly still,” Mr. Fredrickson snapped.

Both of us stopped talking and straightened into position. “We can discuss it later,” he whispered.

For most of the day, we sat for Mr. Fredrickson. Thankfully he did let us have a few breaks in between. He promised us he had enough done, and he could work on the finer touches at his gallery. He promised to bring it back in a week. We thanked him for his time and sent him on his way.

“Now, what was it you had a thought about?” I asked, taking Sidney’s hand and leading him on an early evening walk. He grinned and squeezed my hand. 

“What do you think your family would do with goats?” he asked.

“My family?” I questioned.

“We could give them to your family. Sustain them, but still have access to that milk if we were to ever need it. We could even build the Denham donkey sanctuary in Willingden. There’s nothing in Lady Denham’s Will stating it needed to be built here.”

I thought on it for a moment. I wasn’t sure how my father would take the suggestion. However, I was sure my siblings would love to have new livestock on the farm. “I suppose we could talk to father about it.”

“Speaking of talking to your father,” he began. “He asked me the other night why we haven’t told anyone about the pregnancy. I take it you asked him not to say anything while he’s here?”

“I know I need to tell everyone. I’m just concerned about my sister’s feelings, as well as Mr. Crowe’s.”

“You can’t hide it for much longer,” he said, affectionately rubbing his hand across my stomach. 

“I’m aware,” I said with a loud sigh. “I want to talk to Alison privately first. I will do it first thing tomorrow.”

Sidney brought my hand to his lips for a gentle kiss, before we made our way back to the house. 

In the morning, I paced our bedroom floor while Sidney watched me with concern. I bit at my nails, questioning how exactly I would tell Alison without hurting her. 

“Charlotte,” he said, sitting up in the bed. He reached out his hand, silently asking me to come to him. With a worried sigh, I walked across the room and sat down next to him, taking his hand and allowing him to rub his thumb across my knuckles for comfort. “You have to tell her. He placed his other hand on my stomach. You can’t keep hiding our baby. He’s getting too big.”

“He?” I questioned with a grin.

“Or she,” he clarified. “Whatever it is. We need to tell people. There’s going to be talk around town if there isn’t already.”

I placed my hand against Sidney’s muscular stomach and leaned my head against his chest. “I know,” I whined. “I just don’t want to hurt her. What if they never have a child? Alison would be heartbroken.”

“I’m sure that’s not true. And if it is, she’ll have an amazing sister who will support her and comfort her and also give her lots of nieces and nephews to love.”

I rose my head to look at his face. He already had a smirk on his face. “Lots of nieces and nephews?” I asked with a giggle.

He playfully sighed and brushed my hair out of my face. “I can’t seem to keep my wife off of me. I might have a talent for impregnating her with just my eyes.”

I laughed so hard, I had to lay back on the bed to give myself air. The baby was already starting to dig into my ribcage. Sidney leaned down and laid next to me, rubbing my cheek with his thumb and looking at me so tenderly. He leaned towards me and gave me a sweet kiss, before his hand made it to my stomach. His hand always seemed to find a way to rest where the baby was. His favorite thing was to feel the baby kick and wiggle inside of me. He was filled with excitement to be a father. He adored the Babington children and it was hard for him to leave them when we did. Sometimes I wished we could go back to visit them. 

“Alright,” I said, determined to tell my sister the news. “Should we get dressed for the day?”

Sidney helped me up to my feet so we could get dressed and head downstairs where everyone else was. 

We were greeted by everyone at the breakfast table with pleasantries. It seemed everyone had something to do during the day. It was a beautiful day and deserved to be enjoyed. I asked Alison if she would like to go for a walk with me after breakfast and perhaps walk along the coastline. She agreed with excitement. My nervousness was quite overwhelming, but I had to get it out. 

Sidney gave me a kiss, wishing me luck before he left for the day. I was thankful for his gesture. Once everyone had left the house, Alison and I began our stroll through the park arm in arm while Heraclitus ran out in front of us. 

Just as I was about to open my mouth to speak, Alison spoke first. “Charlotte, I must tell you something. I’ve been a bit hesitant to tell you, but I think it’s time to come out with it.”

“What is it?” I asked.

“I’m with child,” she blurted with a small giggle after the words left her mouth.

“You’re certain?” I asked, almost afraid to believe it. There had been times before when she thought she was, but it turned out she wasn’t. I hoped this time was different.

“I’m absolutely certain this time,” she assured. “I have been feeling miserably sick the last month or so. I’ve been drinking tea and eating toast like you have been doing.” 

I stopped in my tracks and stared at her in disbelief. “You know?” 

She laughed. “Charlotte, it’s hard not to figure out. You’re practically bursting through your dress.”

“How long have you known?” I wondered.

“When I noticed you drinking mother’s tea, I suspected. Then when you went off to London with Mr. Parker, I thought you went there to hide your pregnancy further. I wasn’t entirely sure why, but I suspected it had something to do with me.”

I gave her a sympathetic smile. “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. I knew how much you wished you were pregnant every month.”

“Charlotte, even if I never have a baby, I’ll always be thrilled to hear about a new niece or nephew. I will dote on them as if they were my own.” I hugged her tightly, feeling silly for thinking she would be upset. Our bond was stronger than anything. I knew if roles were reversed, I’d be happy for her. How silly of me to think she would be any different. 

“Does Mr. Crowe know?” I wondered.

“I haven’t told him yet. I’m quite nervous. The times I’ve mentioned I might before, have always caused a rift between us. I know deep down he does want children, but he’s terrified of losing me in the process. If I’m not pregnant, he gets to hold on to me a little while longer.”

“I didn’t tell Sidney until I was nearly three months along. Perhaps you should wait a while longer just to be sure. Perhaps he will be more open to the idea once he knows you are already farther along. I understand he will probably have fears again when the baby comes, but we will show him how strong the Heywood women are,” I said determinedly. 

“Perhaps you’re right. I’ll wait a while longer.”

We began to walk again, both of us feeling much more at ease. “When are you due?” I asked.

“I believe in January. What about you?”

“I suspect August. Perhaps in September.”

“That’s only a few months away!” she shouted. “Charlotte! We have so much to do.”

“I know,” I sighed. “Sidney wants to hire a nanny. I didn’t want to at first, only feeling like I would need one on rare occasions. The more I think about it, I feel like it might be a good idea. Mary has a nanny for her children. And with the demands of Sanditon, I don’t want to risk my child.”

“Mother always did the chores with us strapped to her back,” she reminded. 

“I remember. I do want to be the type of mother our own mother was, but I do feel there will be times I’ll need a nanny. I just don’t know if I’ll need one all the time.”

“I’m sure you will work it out. You always do,” she said with a smile. I squeezed her arm tighter and quickened our walk. 

We discussed our pregnancies for most of the morning. Around the noon hour we found our way to the building of the stable. Sidney and Mr. Crowe as well as Tom and my father and brother were all there along with many other men. Sidney noticed us walk up and with a concerned expression came over to meet us. “Everything alright?” he asked. 

“Everything is wonderful, Mr. Parker,” Alison said, letting my arm go and walking around him towards her own husband. 

He watched her leave before focusing his attention back on me. “How did it go?” he asked.

I smiled at him and took his hand in mine. “I shouldn’t underestimate my sister. She’s known all along.”

“Did she?” he laughed.

“She noticed all the signs rather early on,” I explained with a giggle. “She also let me know she’s with child. Due at the beginning of the new year.”

“Is that so? Does Crowe know?”

“Not yet, so you mustn’t say anything,” I warned.

“I will hold on to the secret,” he promised. “Now that Alison knows, can we announce it to everyone else?”

“Yes, tonight we will make an announcement at dinner.”

“At least that concern is over. I’m afraid we may have another concern on our hands,” he informed.

My facial expressions changed from elated to worry. “What is it?” 

He chuckled and took a step, so he was standing next to me rather than beside me. He tilted his head towards the building area and my eyes followed where he gestured. “Your brother Simon seems to have an admirer,” he explained. 

I found Simon standing at the base of the building, talking with Philida Beaufort and another young woman I did not know. I suspected a knew charge of Mrs. Griffiths, or rather Mrs. Hankins now as she and Mr. Hankins did marry about a month earlier. She still continued with her boarding for gentile young girls even in marriage. Philida stood in front of Simon with her hands behind her back swaying back and forth with a huge smile on her face as she talked, while my brother stood in front of her with nervous smiles and glances at the ground. “Goodness me. Would it be a good match?” I asked myself more than Sidney. He still chose to answer anyway.

“Knowing what we know about Miss Beaufort’s father, I’m certain he would disapprove.”

“If they do choose to be together, we will need to help them. I refuse to let my brother lose out on love merely because of his position. I will find a way to make sure he has the fortune her father wishes.”

Sidney laughed, placing his hand at my back and turning me towards him. “I wouldn’t expect anything less. We will do what we can, of course.”

Later in the evening we had all of Sidney’s family for dinner, and we did finally tell everyone about our baby. Of course, everyone either already knew or at least suspected. We were greeted with congratulations and well wishes. It was nice to finally have it out and not have to hide any longer. 

It seemed as soon as I announced the pregnancy, my stomach decided to double in size. Even Mr. Fredrickson was shocked when he brought us our finished painting. He didn’t know I was pregnant when he started painting, so to see me quite round now was confusing for him. He worried we would be disappointed that he did not depict the pregnancy in the painting. We both assured him that was not the case. He had done a wonderful job and did such fine work with the small details. He even took notice of the freckles across my nose and Sidney’s upturned lips and wrinkle between his eyes when he’s thinking hard. I loved the painting and was very thankful for Sidney having the idea to commission it from Mr. Fredrickson. We had it hung in the front room so as soon as someone walked in, they might see it. My father grinned every time he walked by it. He was very happy to see our union so successful. He was also very happy we were still within visiting distance. It was a bit more than his five-mile standard, but doable, nonetheless. 

My father stayed for nearly a month before he returned back home with the asses in tow. He wasn’t entirely sure what to do with all of them, but thought they might be a good investment. Simon remained with us indefinitely while we continued to work on the Arab stallion stables. He was very happy to stay and looked forward to when the horses would arrive. Although, I believe he looked forward to spending more time with a certain young lady who had caught his eye. He was looking forward to playing in the cricket match with the other men. 

Sidney took me on an open carriage ride along the coastline and through town, where we were greeted by many new patrons. “Do you see how busy the coast is? How many people are enjoying the sea? All of that is thanks to you. This season has been the most successful and promising season we’ve ever had,” he said.

“I don’t feel as if I’ve done anything other than be a good friend to those around me and helping out where I could,” I said. 

He chuckled. “You are always so modest to what you’ve accomplished. If only you would take some credit for what you’ve done.”

“I’m looking forward to the annual cricket match and regatta,” I said, changing the subject. “I’m slightly disappointed I won’t be able to play this year.”

“There’s always next year, my love,” he said, taking my hand and holding it tightly while he held the reins with one hand. We visited the spot in town where the theatre was being built. I had received word from Lady Susan they she and the Prince Regent had spent half the season in Brighton, but as the area filled up and got too crowded, they would secretly make their way to Sanditon for a quieter, more relaxing environment. I didn’t mind them coming secretly instead of bringing along a large entourage. We were rather successful without the Prince Regents patronage. 

After a long day out and feeling quite exhausted, we returned home. Sidney pulled the open carriage in front of the house and hopped down before coming over to help me down. He practically lifted me off the carriage and placed me on the ground. The baby kicked rather hard when I made my way towards the house. 

“Everything alright?” Sidney asked with concern. 

“The baby is moving quite a bit. Would you like to feel?” I asked. We stopped at the front door and I took Sidney’s hand, placing it against the spot I felt the kick. Occasionally while lying in bed at night, Sidney would feel the baby flutter, but this was different. This was strong, determined kicks. He waited a moment, hoping to feel something. Just as I was about to tell him I didn’t think we would feel anything more, it happened. The tiny baby inside of me kicked with all its might and for the smallest of moments made my stomach bulge. Sidney’s eyes widened with astonishment. We both laughed excitedly. 

Sidney leaned in and kissed me, feeling extremely happy. “I love you, Charlotte. Thank you for giving me everything I have ever dreamed of.”

I traced a finger along his jaw, feeling the scruffiness of his chin hairs. “You have given me the world, Sidney. It is I who should be thanking you.”

He kissed me again and just as he started to deepen the kiss, the baby kicked again. He laughed against my mouth, feeling the baby kick his hand. “Perhaps this baby is looking for something to eat.”

“You may be right,” I said. With another chaste kiss, Sidney led me inside but didn’t remove his hand from my stomach, as the more I moved the more the baby kicked, and he was enjoying every moment of getting to feel how strong our child was. 

“Perhaps something sweet?” Sidney said with another laugh. He was well aware of my craving for sweet things. I was always asking the staff to make fruit pies or biscuits with jam. I wondered if my craving was more fruit based rather than sweet based. I could eat an entire bowl of strawberries if given the opportunity. 

We stopped just inside the front door and had another laugh as the baby kicked once again. Sidney’s infectious laugh was quite endearing as he held my stomach between his large hands. He kissed me on the forehead and whispered he loved me. My heart was full of so much happiness. 

We did not notice someone was even in the room at first. Sidney glanced over my shoulder and suddenly his happy exterior changed to confusion. I turned around and saw Mrs. Campion standing in front of us. She stood under the painting of Sidney and I as if she had been admiring it before we walked in. In a protective stance, Sidney stayed at my side, placing one hand behind me back and another against my protruding stomach. I placed my hands over his and just as quickly as I did, Eliza’s eyes focused on my stomach or possibly on the ring on my finger. Perhaps both. Her mouth hung open while she took everything in.

“Mrs. Campion,” I greeted. “What a surprise.”

“What are you doing here,” Sidney snapped angrily. 

She hesitated to find words. “I’m confused. Where is Edward?”

“Last we heard he and Clara escaped to Scotland to be married. She was carrying his child. I believe it was mentioned that he had a distant relative living there,” I explained. Her eyes darted between Sidney and my stomach as she was putting the pieces together. “You look rather exhausted. Did you just arrive in town? Perhaps on your way back from Antigua? I heard you made a trip there. Would you like to stay for some tea?”

She stared at me with a perplexed expression. “I don’t understand. Did Edward give you permission to stay here in my absence?”

“This is our home,” Sidney said rather angrily. Heraclitus came running in and jumped on Eliza who cried from fear. I shouted at Heraclitus to get down, but it was Sidney with his whistling who got him to sit at our feet. Sidney patted him on the head, letting him know he had done a good job. 

“Lady Denham’s Will stated the house would belong to me and Edward. Why would the two of you consider this your home?” she asked in a snippy voice.

“About that. There’s a letter from Lady Denham left here for you that should explain everything,” Sidney said, leaving me for the first time to gather the letter the solicitor had asked us to hold on to for Eliza.

Eliza and I stared at each other uncomfortably from across the room. My hands instinctively rubbed my stomach, accentuating the large bump. After a few moments, Sidney walked in and handed her the letter before making his way back towards me and assuming his protective stance next to me. I smiled up at him, silently letting him know we were alright. We waited silently while Eliza ripped open the letter with a smirk on her face and began to read it. I suspected she thought it was going to be good news about the inheritance she assumed she would receive. Her smug face changed to anger as she continued to read. Her eyes darted towards us one last time, before she threw the letter to the floor and stormed out of the house. 

Once she was gone, Sidney noticed his trunk he had packed for Antigua sat in the hallway. Eliza had graciously brought it home to him intact. I picked up the letter she had left on the floor to see what Lady Denham had said to her. Sidney stood behind me reading over my shoulder.

My dear Eliza,

I’m not entirely sure what possessed you to think you could deceive me in such a disgraceful way. Have you no dignity? To think you can traipse into my home and suddenly become the heir to my fortune is despicable even for you. I have no respect for a woman whose only mission in life is money. 

Unfortunately, I was much like you at one time. However, Charlotte and Sidney have taught me more about life and love in such a short time that I fathom you have yet to learn. Perhaps it’s time you find a better way of living before it’s too late, like it was for me. 

There’s so much more to life than fortune. When you die, you will not be able to take your fortune with you, but you will be able to take the memories of the loved ones you had with you. And in those who loved you, you will live on in spirit. Your fortune isn’t going to care about you while you rot in the ground. Try to remember that.

Learn how to be a more respectable woman and perhaps love will find you too. Although, I find it hard to believe you will ever change your ways. I won’t hold my breath.

As for the Will you and Edward so graciously had written up for me naming you and Edward as heirs, was all a fake. The real Will was written many months ago leaving everything to Charlotte so she can continue to teach others about what true love means. Her unwavering love for Sidney, but also for Sanditon is what’s most important. With Sidney at her side, Sanditon is left in good hands, rather than money grubby hands like yours and Edwards. Sanditon will live on because Charlotte will see to it. You will learn a lot from her if you give her a chance. 

I trust you will take these words to heart.

Lady Denham

I almost enjoyed her letter more than my own. Lady Denham may have been brass and even rude on many occasions, but she knew more about life than all of us. I felt she was wrong on one of her points. Sanditon wouldn’t live on because of me, Sanditon would live on because of her. I may be the one here overseeing everything that’s happening now and everything that will happen in the future, but it wouldn’t have been possible without her and her generosity. 

“I’m rather upset my letter wasn’t so eloquently written by Lady Denham. I was merely told to take care of you,” Sidney said with a playful laugh. 

I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck. “And you have done a fine job of fulfilling her wishes.”

“Well, as long as I’m following Lady Denham’s requests, I suppose life should be good.”

“Life is very good.” He leaned down and gave me a kiss full of passion and love. There was no denying Sidney’s love for me. There was no denying my love for him either.

~Alison~

“Walk with me?” my husband asked of me in the late afternoon. A fear came over me with his request. I hadn’t told him about the baby yet, worrying about how he would take the news. On many occasions I thought he knew and was going to confront me, but then he would do or say something else entirely. I was nearly three months along in pregnancy. I was going to have to tell him eventually. I stood up and followed him out of the house. He took my hand in his as we walked from the house towards town. He was quiet and seemed to have a lot on his mind.

We had begun to settle into our marriage. Things were still so new and there was a lot of learning we both had to do. When we married, we hadn’t known each other long. Even though we did spend as much time as possible with each other before the wedding, there was still so much I didn’t know about my husband. And equally there were plenty of things he didn’t know about me. “Where are we going?” I asked.

“I have a surprise for you.” 

I wasn’t expecting a surprise. What sort of surprise did he have in mind? His grip around my hand tightened as he grinned excitedly. We walked a good distance away from Sanditon House and came upon a blanket with a picnic set up. A servant stood beside the blanket. He bowed towards us as we walked up to him. “Thank you. We can manage from here.” The servant walked away and headed back towards Sanditon House.

“What is this?” I asked.

“I thought we could use some time alone.” He led me over to the blanket and sat me down across from him. I was in amazement at how sweet he was being. This wasn’t like him. “I’ve had all kinds of things packed for us. Whatever you would like is yours.” I looked through the basket and found plenty of sandwiches, dried and fresh fruits, pies, nuts, and so much more. 

“There is enough food to feed everyone back at Sanditon House. Why so much?” I asked.

“I wasn’t sure what you would want to eat, so I had it all packed.”

“This is a wonderful surprise. Thank you.” I leaned towards him and planted a sweet kiss on his lips. We ate heavy plates of food and enjoyed the sunshine as well as each other’s company for most of the afternoon. He laid his head in my lap while I combed my fingers through his hair. We were content just being with each other for the day. 

“What do you think of this place?” he asked abruptly. 

“This place we are right now or Sanditon?” I wondered.

He sat up and took my hands in his before meeting my eyes with his. “This place, where we sit right now.”

“It’s beautiful. There are trees for shade, but still plenty of light, I can see the sea from here as well as the town. It’s a wonderful spot for a picnic.”

“Would it be a wonderful spot for a home?” he asked with a grin.

“I don’t understand.”

“If you approve, I have commissioned for a home to be built right here, in this spot, for us,” he explained. I was so stunned by the news that I couldn’t make words. “I don’t mind living with Charlotte and Sidney. There’s plenty of space in that big house of theirs, but it doesn’t feel like ours. I want us to have our own. We are still close enough so you can visit your sister whenever you feel the need to do so. It’s time for us to settle into our own home and make our own life.”

“I don’t know what to say. This is beautiful.”

“Do you approve?” he wondered with a hopeful tone.

“Yes!” I laughed. “Yes, I approve.” I flung myself towards him and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him passionately. He pulled me into his lap and deepened the kiss, while holding my head to his. 

“I have an architect coming out next week to start drawing up some plans.” He tucked a wayward strand of hair back into my bonnet as he spoke. “I want you to have everything you ever dreamed of. Start picturing it.” He pointed out into the distance. “Right over there will be the drawing room, and next to it will be the dining hall. You can have your own personal parlor with a piano and embroidery area. Or if you would rather have a writing desk, we will make that happen. We will have servant quarters on the bottom half of the house.”

“And a nursery?” I asked, feeling bold enough to tell him. This seemed like the right time.

He tightened his hold around me and became quiet for a moment. “Yes, of course, we will have a nursery.” His demeanor changed when I mentioned the nursery. For a moment, I had changed my mind about telling him. “I know you are anxious to start a family, especially seeing Charlotte with child. And I know I haven’t been the most supportive of this idea, given my history. I am trying. I know you wish to have children. Perhaps living in our own home will make it easier to come to fruition.”

I pursed my lips and looked down. My fingers nervously traced across his chest. “We may have a child before the house it built.” Once the words were out of my mouth, I raised my eyes to meet his. He searched my expression for answers. He began to breathe heavily, and his forehead wrinkled with worry. I brushed my thumb across his cheek, trying to relax him as best I could, but failing miserably. 

“Are you?” he asked, anxiously. I nodded my head and tried to smile. 

“I am certain this time. I’m at least three months along. Charlotte has been a great support. I know you will worry, but you have to believe everything will work out. I have faith I will be just fine, and we will have a beautiful child with your green eyes and curly hair. He will have your wit and your charm.”

“And if it’s a girl? Will she have your spunkiness and strong-will?” he asked with a smile. 

“Absolutely!” I promised. “Are you pleased?”

“I won’t lie to you, Alison. I’m terrified. I can’t help that. But I am happy, and I look forward to being a good father with your guidance.”

“You will be a wonderful father. I already know you will.” I kissed him, feeling a huge relief to finally have it out in the open. 

“One small request,” he said, pulling away from the kiss. 

I giggled. “What is it?”

“Can Charlotte deliver our baby?” 

“You wish Charlotte to deliver our child?” I asked, taken back by the request.

“If she can deliver twins for Esther and restore Esther’s health after she nearly died, there is no one else I trust more than your sister to deliver our child.”

I smiled and him and twisted one of his curls around my finger. “I think I may agree with you. I’ll talk to her about it.”

Knowing Charlotte would potentially deliver our child calmed him significantly. He pulled me close to him and placed his hand against my stomach. There was still so much apprehension in his expression, but with time I hoped he would be able to relax more. 

~Sidney~

Charlotte didn’t leave the house much in those last months, as it was either too blistering hot, too exhausting, or too hard to breathe. I worried about her safety daily, no matter how much she tried to reassure me she was perfectly fine, and everything was normal. Seeing how Esther was in those last months, made me fearful for Charlotte. 

Thankfully, Charlotte’s mother and two of her sisters came to visit and stay with her in the last month of pregnancy. She also had Alison at her side nearly day and night. They had bonded in a new way as they shared their pregnancies. Crowe was a disaster, but never let his true feelings show in front of Alison. He didn’t want to upset her, fearful if he did, he would somehow hurt her or the baby. He spent many nights sitting up with me discussing his fears, having a drink or two just to calm his nerves, and simply just needing advice how to best support Alison and be a good father when the baby arrived. He desperately wanted to be better than his own father was. 

At the annual cricket match, even though Charlotte and perhaps even Alison wished to play, they sat under an umbrella enjoying the day and cheering us on. We lost to the laborers and I decided the only reason we lost was because we didn’t have Charlotte to help us win. She enjoyed hearing this and hoped she may be able to play in the next game. 

Right before the annual regatta, I got word that there was trouble in London with my business. As much as I hated leaving Charlotte so close to her delivery, I had to go figure out what was going on. I felt confident she was in good hands during my absence. I promised her I would be back as quickly as I could. My hope was it would only take a couple days to figure out what was going on and fix the problem. 

I decided to take Arthur with me as he wished to visit friends in London, and Georgiana asked if she could go too. I had no doubt her motivation for going to London had to do with seeking out information about Otis. She had still not heard from him even though she sent a letter to him almost daily. Charlotte and I talked frequently about our wish for someone new to come along and interest her. At least then we wouldn’t have to watch her suffer from the rejection of Otis not returning her letters. 

“Do you suppose there will be any parties for us to attend?” Arthur asked as the carriage made its way to London. “It’s been ages since I’ve attended a London party. I do hope so.”

“I’m not planning to stay long, if I can help it,” I announced. “I don’t plan to attend any parties and will be returning to my wife as soon as possible.”

“Just because you plan to return, doesn’t mean I have to. I have no one to return to,” Arthur said. 

“Whatever happened to the maid you were interested in?” I asked. Georgiana’s interest peaked in the conversation. 

He sighed and looked out the window. “I came to the conclusion I was not attracted to her for her beauty or her personality. I was merely interested in her baking skills. She kept me well fed and my home well cleaned. I’m not sure I will ever be interested in the ladies. It’s just not my style.”

His words made me question his meaning, but I didn’t press the subject any further. I decided his life was his own. He didn’t need me meddling in his personal affairs. 

We arrived in London in the early evening. The carriage pulled up in front of our London home and a servant hopped off the carriage to open the door for us and collect our bags to bring inside. We settled in for the evening and at first light, I made arrangements for the carriage to take me to the docks.

“Can I come with you?” Georgiana asked.

“I suppose so,” I said, agreeing to let her come along. 

We made our way to the docks and met with my trusted business overseer, Mr. Gregory to discuss the issues we were having. With so many ships coming in and out of Europe, we weren’t getting many jobs anymore. My business relied on my ships being chartered to carry goods from one place to another. With so many other people doing the same, my business was hurting. “We will need to find a way to entice businesses to believe our ships are better suited for their goods. How we do that, I do not know. But there must be a way.”

“Believe me, sir, I have been trying everything I can to keep the companies we already work with as clients. It’s a competitive world out there in the sea. So many companies are going with the cheapest options rather than the most reliable. I believe we have proven our reliability, however, cost wise, we are still higher than most.”

I sighed, thinking on this. Could we afford to cut costs merely to keep our clients happy? “How much would we need to cut?” I wondered.

“Nearly half,” he explained.

“Half?” I shouted. “That’s not possible. How are these other shipping companies able to afford such a cut?” I wondered.

“I’ve been trying my best to find out their secret. I’m struggling to find any rhyme or reason to it,” Mr. Gregory explained. 

I grumbled, trying to run numbers in my head. We wouldn’t be able to cut the price by half, but we could potentially cut the cost by ten percent. We would have to hope our current costumers would be satisfied. In the meantime, I would have to do my own research on figuring out what the secret to these other shipping companies was. 

“Excuse me, Mr. Gregory?” Georgiana cut in. “I’m hopeful you may have some word on the whereabouts of Otis Molyneux?”

“I’m afraid not. Last I heard he was on a naval ship in the middle of the ocean. It’s a grueling training they go through. I wouldn’t expect to hear anything from him for at least a year while he is in training.”

“It’s been nearly a year already. Shouldn’t he be returning soon?” she wondered.

“It’s hard to say. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t.”

She sighed defeatedly but thanked the man anyway and left yet another letter for him to give to Otis as soon as he heard word of his return.

Georgiana and I walked slowly along the docks. “Do you wish to go shopping while we are here?” I asked her. She shook her head, looking sad. “You might feel better doing something fun. Perhaps we could catch a show at the theatre? Arthur may enjoy a show as well.”

“If you wish me to go, I’ll go. But I honestly have little interest in doing anything right now.”

I felt just as defeated as she did. As much as I tried to do right by her, she still had a bitterness towards me. 

“Well if it isn’t Sidney Parker,” a man called out. I stopped and turned towards the voice. The familiar face of Mr. Davidson, my acquaintance from Antigua, walked towards me with a huge grin on his face. “You are a hard man to track down. I expected you to be in Antigua months ago. Then I hear from your fiancé that you had a last-minute unexpected family matter to attend to and she was sent in your place.”

“Mr. Davidson, I’m quite confused. Who did you speak to in my absence?”

“An Eliza Campion. She explained everything and advised me to come to London to seek you out instead of waiting for you to come to Antigua. We lost touch once the ship docked here in London.”

“I’m afraid you are mistaken. Eliza Campion is not my fiancé, nor am I connected to her in any way. My wife, Charlotte, lives in Sanditon, half a day’s journey from here. She’s expecting our first child.”

“I see,” he said, confused by the information. “No matter. I still came to seek you out and offer you a business proposition.” 

“Shall we, perhaps, have something to eat while we discuss the terms?” he offered. With my shipping business hurting, the thought of a new business adventure sounded appealing. 

“Of course.” He eyed Georgiana who stood next to me. “Forgive me. This is Georgiana Lambe. You may remember her father who lived in Antigua.”

“I do remember Mr. Lambe. I’m surprised to see her with you, of all people,” he pointed out.

“How so?” I asked.

“Given what happened. I thought you gave up slavery?” he asked.

I glanced towards Georgiana, who was beginning to catch on to his meaning. “I am no slave,” she snapped. “I am an heiress to a fortune.”

“Georgiana!” I warned. This was not the type of man you mention your fortune to. She looked at me angrily, but I hoped she understood my silent warning. 

“I see,” he said, intrigued by the news. “Well, shall we?” As interested as I was in a new business adventure, there was something about the man that made me uneasy. I didn’t know him well, but we were acquainted while I was in Antigua. 

We stepped inside a hotel dining hall and were seated near a window. Georgiana was gawked at by everyone in the hotel. I could sense the anger building inside of her. I almost wished I put her on the carriage and sent her back to the house. 

We ordered drinks and got comfortable. “Tell me. What is this new business you have in mind?”

“Perhaps not something we should discuss in front of the lady,” he said. Once again, Georgiana got angry.

“I’ll leave you to it then,” she said, standing from the table and walking a distance away to look out a large window overlooking the water and the ships coming into the docks. 

“What is your connection to Miss Lambe?” he asked once she was away from us.

“Mr. Lambe appointed me her guardian upon his untimely death,” I explained. 

“Yes, I… I did hear about what happened. Tragic accident.”

“Accident?” I scoffed. “I don’t believe it was an accident.”

He smirked. “No reason to talk badly of the deceased. Let’s discuss business.”

“Yes, let’s.” My frustration with the man was growing by the minute. If his proposition wasn’t foolproof, I had no interest in speaking to the man again. I wondered if his attitude towards Georgiana, was how I was once perceived by others. 

“You have ship, yes?” he asked.

“I do. My ships are chartered by companies wishing to trade and sell goods to other countries.”

“Excellent!” he said. “If you agree, your crews will set sail with these goods like normal, then make a detour and collect another type of goods to be brought to other lands. The profits on these goods is excellent and the demand is high.”

I took a large swig of my drink, thinking there had to be a catch. “What sort of goods are we talking here?” I asked.

He looked around, making sure no one was listening and leaned in to whisper the words. “Slaves. There are hundreds of them being shipped all over the world. Antigua, the Americas, even some British areas under secret pretenses.”

“This is illegal,” I said.

He tossed his head to one side, raising his hands as if he was weighing the legality of it. “It’s a gray area. Most shipping companies are taking part in this and it’s overlooked by the governments in every nation. It’s not necessarily legal, but no one ever gets in trouble for doing it.”

“I won’t take part in it,” I said.

“Mr. Parker, now is the time to strike on this new adventure. You will be buried if you don’t enlist your ships for the cause. Mrs. Eliza Campion has already assured me you would be in agreement.”

I took a deep breath trying to find the right words, without blowing up on this man. “Do you see that young girl there?” I asked, pointing to Georgiana. “She has had to grow up without either of her parents because of the revolting practice of slave trading. I have to live with the guilt every day because I wasn’t able to save her father from his fate for doing the right thing and freeing his slaves. I do not agree with slavery, nor will I be a part of anything to do with slavery. Whatever Mrs. Campion told you was all lies. Mark my words, I will do everything in my power to bring your surreptitious operation down. Excuse me!” In haste, I got up from my seat and walked towards Georgiana. I grabbed her arm, slightly too rough and pulled her towards the door. 

“What happened?” she wondered, once we were outside.

I was still angry and could barely speak. “I was propositioned to partake in slave trade. I will not have anything to do with it.”

“He asked you to help him in slave trade?” she asked, shocked by the news. “How could he?”

“Trust me, Georgiana. I will do everything in my power to stop this.” Now it made perfect sense why these shipping companies were able to charge near to nothing for chartering. They were making their fortunes in another way. How I would go about shutting these illegal slave trade ships down, was an impossible feat, but I had to find a way.

I talked to multiple people over the next few days trying to get feedback about what they knew of the operation and if I could gather enough people on my side to help shut it down. I even spoke with Lady Worcester who had a direct line to the Prince Regent. Hardly anyone was interested in helping me, which made me even more angry. Even Babington suggested I let it go. I couldn’t. 

Feeling entirely defeated, Georgiana and I arranged to return to Sanditon. “Sidney,” Georgiana began. “If I had access to my fortune, I could buy slaves and then free them.” 

“I won’t let you waste your fortune like that. We need to find a way to shut down the operation all together. I won’t give up. We will find a way,” I promised. 

“I don’t see it as wasting my fortune. I see it as doing good for others. For a cause that means a great deal to me.”

“Even if I wanted to, I can’t touch your fortune, nor can you until you turn twenty-one or until you marry.”

“There has to be a way around that,” she said. 

I sighed. “Right now, I just want to get home to Charlotte. I have been in London longer than I anticipated. We can discuss this later.”

We boarded the carriage for home and slowly made out way through the streets. Georgiana was silent as she stared out the window. I spent the quiet of the ride thinking on what I had discovered and what could potentially be done. My only hope was the Prince Regent would listen to Lady Worcester and potentially do something about it. 

When we arrived back in Sanditon, Charlotte was a welcome sight. I clung to her like my life depended on it. She sensed my agony and suggested we go for a walk. As much as a walk was troubling to her aching pregnant body, she still went with me. I explained everything that had happened and everything I tried to do. How Georgiana once again resented me for not doing more. I was out of options on what else I could do. Charlotte calmed me with her comforting touches and words. 

“You know I support you and we will find a way to put an end to this. We will find someone who has some power to make a difference,” she said. I nodded my head in agreement. 

“I shouldn’t burden you with all my troubles,” I said, realizing how selfish I was for unloading on her in her condition. 

“Nonsense,” she said with a giggle. “This is what a marriage is about. We support each other in our worst times. I will always support you.”

I placed my hand on her stomach, rubbing across the bump. “How is our child?” I asked.

She smiled and placed her hand on mine. “Getting rambunctious. I can barely sleep anymore with how active this baby of ours is. I will be thankful when all this is over, and I can hold our child in my arms.”

I sighed, thinking on it. How easy our child’s life will be compared to those of color. 

I found it harder to sleep at night, thinking on what I knew. Thankfully, I normally found Crowe sitting up at night and talked with him quite regularly. He was in full support of helping me to put a stop to the illegal slave trading operations going on. We just needed to find a way to go about it. Neither of us had any good ideas.

On a rather quiet day, there was a knock at the door. Charlotte and I sat in the drawing room alone while everyone else was out for the day. Mr. Molyneux was ushered into the room by a servant. 

“Mr. Molyneux,” Charlotte greeted, standing to her feet rather awkwardly. 

“Miss Heywood,” he said, removing his hat and nervously twisting it in his hands. He was dressed in a naval uniform and stood tall and proper. I stood to my feet and walked to Charlotte’s side. 

“It’s Mrs. Parker now,” Charlotte corrected, rubbing her hand across her protruding stomach.

He glanced at her stomach briefly, before looking back towards me. “Right,” he said. 

“What can we do for you, Mr. Molyneux?” I asked.

“I was hoping to see Georgiana. I was told she was here. I have been away on a Navy ship, training for the service. I have grown a lot in the last year. I haven’t gambled one time, even given the opportunity. I have bettered myself and my position in hopes to come back here and be given permission to marry Georgiana,” he said nervously. “If she’ll still have me, that is. My affection for her has not changed, nor will it. I would like to think you may be a more reasonable man and consider me a suitable option for Georgiana.”

A part of me still didn’t trust the man. I wasn’t sure I ever would. He and Georgiana would suspect and accuse me of not trusting him or not finding him a suitable match because of his skin color, which wasn’t true. Charlotte would be the only one who would understand where I was coming from. “When she is twenty-one, she is free to marry who she pleases,” I announced.

As soon as the words left my mouth, Georgiana and Alison came walking into the room. Georgiana stopped in her tracks, stunned by the sight of him. As soon as Otis spoke her name and gave her a smile, she ran to him for a passionate and emotional embrace. I grumbled at the sight of them. 

“A word,” Charlotte said, pulling me out of the room and into another. I huffed and stared at her expectantly. “You have to give them permission to marry.”

“I don’t have to do anything of the sort,” I shouted. “I still don’t trust him. He’s after her fortune, I know it. He will end up hurting her if she marries him.”

“She will marry him despite how you feel about him. If she has to wait another year to turn twenty-one, she will. But the only thing that will come of that will be more resentment towards you and we will lose her forever. At least if you give her permission now, we may still have some contact and be able to oversee she is well taken care of. You have to look at this rationally instead of emotionally. I know you don’t trust him, but he needs to be given a chance.”

“I’m not giving him a chance if I agree to let them marry. Once they marry, there’s no getting out of it if he fails to provide for her. Do you not understand how this could ruin her life?” I said angrily. “He could take off with her fortune and leave her a ruined woman. Is that what you want for her?”

“Of course, it’s not. But I don’t believe he would do such a thing. I believe he is more honorable than you give him credit for. If you would look past your own fear and truly see how much they love each other, you may just see some similarities between them and us.”

She was right. She was always right. I sighed and placed my hands on my hips. She looked up at me with a determination in her eyes. She wasn’t about to back down. “Would it be so terrible to ask them to wait a year?” I wondered.

“You can try. But if they wish to marry now, you have to give your permission. She is not going to get over him, much like I couldn’t get over you. He too, clearly won’t be able to let her go, no matter what obstacles stand in his way, much like you for me. They love each other. You have to see that.”

“I just don’t want her to end up hurt.”

“I have a thought on how to prevent this,” she said.

“What did you have in mind?” I asked curiously.

She smiled and took my hand in hers to lead me back into the drawing room. “Mr. Molyneux, Mr. Parker and I have spoken and have a proposition for you. Given Georgiana’s fortune, we would like to know what your intentions are with it?”

“I don’t have any intentions for it. I don’t rightly care about the fortune. I just wish to have Georgiana,” he said. Charlotte looked towards me with a knowing expression. He could say all kinds of things, it still didn’t mean much. 

“Would you be willing to sign a contract stating you won’t touch Georgiana’s inheritance?” Charlotte asked.

“I don’t understand,” Mr. Molyneux said.

“When I inherited Lady Denham’s fortune, Sidney refused to touch any of it. He kept the entirety of the fortune in my name instead of taking claim of it merely because we were married. Would you be willing to do the same?” she asked.

Everyone in the room stared at him expectantly. He glanced around the room before fixating his eyes on Georgiana. “If it means we can marry, I will sign whatever contract you wish me to sign. I don’t want the money. I just want Georgiana.”

“It’s settled then. Right Mr. Parker?” Charlotte asked pointedly. 

I sighed frustratedly. “Right,” I agreed through gritted teeth.

Georgiana hugged Otis and grinned excitedly from ear to ear. I still wasn’t sure I could trust him, but Charlotte seemed to think we could. I hoped she was right.

Two weeks later, the solicitor came and had papers drawn up stating Otis would not have access to Georgiana’s fortune without written consent from her. He signed the document willingly and a copy was given to both Georgiana and me as her guardian. Days later, Georgiana and Otis were married in an outdoor ceremony at Sanditon House. I still wasn’t happy, but I bit my tongue and shook the man’s hand and gave Georgiana a hug congratulating them. Charlotte stood by me, doing her best to reassure me I had done the right thing. There was one good thing that came out of the union. Georgiana had never smiled so much in all the years I had known her. If nothing else, she was truly happy, even if it did end up being short lived. I prayed I was wrong. After a short visit to London, they returned to Sanditon House, which I was thankful for. At least being here I could oversee Georgiana’s safety. 

As time for Charlotte to deliver the baby got closer, everyone in the house was on high alert. Charlotte spent most of her days in bed resting or relaxing in a chair in the drawing room. She didn’t wish to move much and seemed extra tired. I did all I could to make her more comfortable. Anxious would be an understatement for how I was feeling. 

“Is there anything I can get you?” I asked in the evening hours. Charlotte laid in bed, nearly asleep after a long, hot day. Charlotte’s mother stayed by her side, saying the time was getting close. I was thankful her mother was here with us. A woman familiar with labor and birth as well as a comfort for Charlotte was exactly what she needed; what we both needed. 

“Will you just stay with me? Hold me?” she asked, reaching for my hand. I took her hand and crawled onto the bed with her.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Mrs. Heywood said with a smile. Once she was out of the room and had shut the door, I curled up next to Charlotte and pulled her close to me, her back flush against my chest. My hand rested against her stomach. I felt the baby moving around inside of her as Charlotte grimaced. 

“We still have not decided on names yet,” Charlotte whispered, rubbing my hand with hers.

“I think we’ve decided on a boy name, just not a girl name,” I reminded. 

“I had a thought on a girl name.”

“Did you?” I said, snuggling up closer to her and breathing in her sweet scent. 

“I was going through some of Lady Denham’s papers the other day. In all the time I knew her, no one ever spoke her Christian name. She preferred the formal Lady Denham title. Do you know what her first name was?” she asked.

I thought on it for a moment and came to the conclusion I didn’t. “I’m sure you are about to tell me,” I chuckled. “I take it you want to name a daughter after her?”

“It only seems fair. Lady Denham would be so proud, and she’s done so much for us. Her given name was Lavinia. Don’t you find it to be a beautiful name?”

“Lavina?” I repeated. “Sounds like a perfect name for a daughter.”

Charlotte hummed in agreement. I could sense her smile without even looking at her. Within moments, Charlotte was asleep. I fell asleep shortly after her, feeling thankful just being with her.

Two days past, and still no baby. Charlotte’s mother insisted the time was close. However, every day of waiting seemed like a lifetime. Charlotte was miserable in the heat. I enlisted Charlotte’s young sisters who accompanied their mother to wave fans across her. Charlotte was ever thankful for their help. Crowe and Alison spent many days overseeing the building of their new home not far from us. There were new buildings going up all around us with the help of Lord Grasmere and the successful season in Sanditon. I, too, had a small building project going up deep in the woods not far from the main house. Charlotte’s cabin was coming together. I couldn’t wait to surprise her with it.

Late in the night, I was awoken to a grimacing sound. I reached for Charlotte in the bed and found her gone. I quickly sat up and found Charlotte pacing the floor, rubbing her stomach. “Charlotte?” I questioned with concern.

She smiled to reassure me. “I’m fine. I just felt a slight pain. Walking seems to help ease it.”

I crawled out of the bed and walked to her. I placed my hand at her back and rubbed her stomach with the other, kissing her forehead in an attempt to soothe her. “Want me to walk with you?” I offered. She grinned happily and nodded her head. We walked out into the hall and began walking up and down the long hallway rather slowly. At one point, the pain hit her so hard, she nearly fell and had to lean against the wall. I held her tightly, not letting her fall. “Charlotte, this doesn’t seem right. Do you think it’s time?”

“Perhaps it is,” she said through clenched teeth. “Will you get my mother?” I helped her back to the bedroom and sat her down on the bed before running down the hallway and banging on Mrs. Heywood’s door. The entire household was awoken from my sudden outburst. Charlotte’s mother ran to the bedroom to look her over. I stood in the doorway, more panicked than ever. I had nearly forgotten how to breathe. Mrs. Heywood turned towards me and nodded her head. I hadn’t noticed everyone else standing in the doorway peeking in, until there was an exuberant cheer coming from behind me. Alison pushed her way around me to enter the room for support and help to their mother. There was a pat on the shoulder from Crowe who tried to steer me away from the room. I stood unmoving in the doorway. I couldn’t leave her. I shrugged Crowe’s hand away and walked into the room. Charlotte noticed me coming towards her and reached for my hand. “Sidney, stay with me?” she asked, breathing heavily as another pain hit her.

“Always,” I assured, gripping her hand tightly and sitting on the bed with her. Charlotte’s mother and sister eyed me curiously, but nothing either of them said was going to make me leave. 

Through the night, Charlotte continued to be in agony. All I could do was hold her and try my best to give her some sort of comfort. She rested her head against my shoulder as I sat behind her to support her. With every pain that hit Charlotte, I forgot how to breathe and had to remind myself to breathe again once the pain was over. 

“She’s getting close,” her mother said excitedly. I found myself taking deep breaths along with Charlotte as the anticipation overcame me. Charlotte’s tormented cries, I was sure, echoed through the house. She was in so much agony, tears sprung to my eyes feeling helpless to do anything to stop the pain. “Charlotte, you need to push now. It’s time.” With all her strength, Charlotte pushed. She gripped onto my hand, using me for support. All I could do was continue to encourage her with my words and give her sweet, reassuring kisses against her clammy forehead. “Again, Charlotte. You’re doing great.” Charlotte pushed again and again to the point I didn’t think she had any more strength left to push again. With one last push, the baby emerged and laid across the bed. Charlotte’s mother cleaned it off and wrapped the baby in a cloth. Charlotte, breathless and exhausted leaned her head back against me. 

“Is it alright?” I asked, hearing the sweet sound of a baby cry. A wave of relief rushed over me when I heard that cry.

“She’s perfectly well,” Mrs. Heywood assured. “You have a daughter.”

Charlotte rose her head and looked at the baby for the first time. “Let me have her,” she said breathlessly, reaching out her arms. Charlotte’s mother gently placed the baby in Charlotte’s arms. Charlotte was overwhelmed with joy, as was I. She was the most perfect baby I had ever seen. She looked so much like Charlotte. I was in love even more than I ever thought was possible. 

“She’s beautiful,” I whispered, softly touching our daughter’s head with my fingertips. 

“Lavinia Rose. That’s what I’ve decided to name her,” Charlotte whispered, turning towards me with a happy smile on her face. I couldn’t help but kiss her lips in that moment of absolute contentment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have started a new story called Heywood Equestrian Stables (#ranchfic) and I'm posting a little oneshot about a fireman Sidney. Both are naughty little modern AU stories that have been fun to write and solely at the request of some of you. I'm a sucker for a challenge.


	40. The Final Episode

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is the end. This chapter was really intimidating to write. I hope it lives up to everyone's expectations. Hopefully soon we will get the announcement of a second season. I imagine this story will be much different than what we actually see on screen, but this would be my ideal finish to the story.

Chapter 40 – The Final Episode

~10 years later~

~Charlotte POV~

Ten years had passed since I found my fate in Sanditon. It’s funny how a simple carriage accident could change the course of my life in such a significant way. That carriage accident set me on a path of discovery, a path of true friendship with so many, and a path to true love. I thought about all the people I had crossed paths with along the way to finding my happiness with Sidney. 

My sister and Mr. Crowe had truly grown to love and respect one another. He was good for her. He challenged her as she challenged him. They complimented each other well and had a very successful marriage. Their house was not far from Sanditon House, so we spent nearly every day together. I believe with the guidance of Alison, Mr. Crowe was finally able to put some of those demons from his past to rest and truly be happy in who he was and what he had. They also had many children, four to be exact. The three eldest being sons, William, Isiah and Noah, whom Mr. Crowe doted on like his own father never had with him. The youngest was a daughter, Louisa, which made Alison very happy to finally have a child that wasn’t a son. Mr. Crowe gave the world to his children, knowing truly how easily life could be taken away. He never wanted any of them to ever feel inferior to him or anyone else. Their children spent a lot of time with mine and Sidney’s children, and Tom and Mary’s children were always on hand to hold a baby or play with a cousin. 

Tom had not changed one bit. He still had grand ideas for Sanditon and worked tirelessly at finding new and innovative projects to make Sanditon a success. Mary, the loving and supportive wife she is, stood by him with her unwavering faith in her husband’s ideas. They raised beautiful and respectable children. The girls were just beginning to enter society, which caused Tom and Mary to have a sense of pride, but also a sense of heartache. I knew it was only a matter of time before Sidney and I would start to have those same feelings with our own children. Mary came for tea at Sanditon House nearly every day confiding in me her fears for her own daughters being in society. Shortly after them, her sons would be off in search of a wife as well. It was hard for her to believe they had grown up as quickly as they had.

My family visited often. Many of my siblings had found their own happiness in Sanditon. My brother Simon being one of them. He married Philida Beaufort a year after their courtship began even though her father rejected the union at first. It took lots of convincing on mine and Sidney’s part, but I think my brother’s love for Philida was what finally convinced her father to relent and give in to the union. He only asked that they court for at least a year before a marriage happened. They remained in Sanditon, being the fulltime caretaker of the Arab Stallions. 

Some of my siblings were more content to stay in Willingden and live a comfortable life close to home, while others ventured off in search of new and exciting adventures elsewhere. One of my brothers had decided to become a doctor and started learning under the tutelage of Dr. Fuchs. A sister found comfort working in the library in Sanditon while she attended every ball and party she was invited to. She had many admirers, but she seemed content being a flirt with all of them rather than choosing just one. Perhaps someday someone would come along with an offer she couldn’t refuse. 

I had received a letter from Clara five years after she left with Edward Denham. She wanted to explain her actions further as if the way she behaved had been eating away at her and she needed to get it off her chest. I learned she also sent a similar letter to Esther. Beyond her explanation, she informed us that her and Edward had indeed married and settled in with a great uncle of Edwards living in Scotland. They had a son, Stanley just three months after their marriage and a daughter, Susannah a year later. She wasn’t entirely happy with her choice of husbands, given his philandering ways, which Edward’s uncle encouraged. She wrote that at least she was well taken care of and her children would have a life she never had. I truly felt sorry for her, but her earlier actions could have been different, which would have resulted in a more favorable outcome. She thanked me for my kindness even after all the damage she had caused. I never heard from her after that one letter. I wondered if our paths would ever cross again.

Lady Diana and Lord Grasmere settled into their newly built home in Sanditon and travelled often between Sanditon and London. At times, Diana looked uncomfortable in her husband’s presence, but at other times seemed to care deeply for him. He was a constant benefactor for Sanditon and helped with many investments along our journey to build Sanditon into the success it is today. Two years ago, Lord Grasmere fell ill. Diana held a constant vigil at his bedside until his passing deep in the night. She mourned him much longer than any of us had anticipated she would. She was just beginning to feel alive again but Arthur, now taking on the role of caregiver, was always at her side. They lived in the Grasmere Estate he had built for Diana in Sanditon and she took her role as aunt to so many children quite seriously. Benjamin Moreland visited them often, staying many months at a time. He and Arthur had become great friends and Diana supported their friendship. She spoke often of not being in want of a husband, but perhaps she would change her mind if the right man came along.

As for the other Moreland men, their father died just a year after he thought he would, leaving his fortune to the eldest and only married son at the time, Isaac Moreland. Isaac, being the sensible and caring brother, split the inheritance between him and his brothers equally. Isaac inherited the title of Lord and with much surprise, he and his wife settled in Sanditon shortly after his father’s death. Sidney and I ran into them often. It took Sidney years to get over his jealousy of Isaac Moreland, no matter how many times I assured Sidney there was never any feelings there. Lord Moreland was a benefactor to many improvements in Sanditon as well.

Last I heard, Thomas Moreland had gambled away his inheritance. He groveled at his brother’s feet often for more money. He had become a drunk and no woman found him to be a suitable husband. Mr. Crowe often compared himself to Thomas Moreland and truly believed his life would have ended up similar if it wasn’t for Alison. 

Andrew Moreland waited a year for Julia Beaufort to be free to marry. Her father insisted, like he had for Philida, that they have a long courtship. If Mr. Beaufort was going to give his daughters away to men he personally didn’t find suitable, he wanted his daughters to be sure they found the men to be suitable. They married shortly after the passing of Lord Moreland and settled into the London home the brothers grew up in since Isaac and Benjamin now lived in Sanditon. 

The youngest Moreland man, Frederick, being the adventurous type, set sail shortly after their father’s passing and had not been heard of since. We all assumed he was off exploring far off places and perhaps even found someone to love. 

Lady Esther and Lord Babington visited Sanditon every season, staying at Denham place. Their children, Montgomery, Elizabeth and their newest children Cynthia and Paul, which I also helped deliver when the time came for each of them to be brought into the world, were treated like family and played with our own children as if they were cousins. Thankfully these pregnancies for Esther were much easier than when she had the twins. But she still didn’t trust anyone but me to deliver her children. When the time got close, the Babington family made the trip to Sanditon and stayed with us at Sanditon House until the babies were born.

I had begun to have a reputation as who to call when a woman was giving birth. Dr. Fuchs even called on me at times to help in deliveries or on occasion the broken bone or wound that needed tending. I wasn’t a nurse or a doctor, but I had no qualms about jumping in to assist when I was needed.

Mr. and Mrs. Stringer settled nicely in London. Mr. Stringer became a highly sought-after architect who found plenty of work in London. Hannah Stringer was always at his side helping him and guiding him along the way. They made a great team and Mr. Stringer did everything in his power to give her the credit when credit was due. He may have had the title and reputation of a great architect, but Hannah was truly the backbone of their operation. I had heard a rumor that they just had their first child. I imagined James Stringer was probably thrilled at being a father for the first time.

Fred Robinson stayed in Sanditon for many years helping with building projects, before travelling to London to be of service to his great friend, James Stringer. They too, were a great team. We had also heard rumors Fred had finally found a girl he settled down with named Alice. Apparently, she was a good friend of Hannah Stringers and sparks flew between them the moment they met.

We had heard that Eliza Campion had recently married again after ten years of being a widow and being cast out of London society. She married well, of course, to a man twenty years her senior with a Lordship title. By all accounts, it was a loveless marriage. Eliza once again married for money and position rather than for love. How thankful I was Sidney had found a way out of that entrapment. I fear he would have perished long ago if he had gone through with the union.  
Eliza got what she wanted though. With her marriage to a Lord, she was welcomed back into London society where she was invited to multiple balls and parties. Position was truly all she cared about.

Lady Susan still didn’t care for Eliza and refused to acknowledge her in public, which irritated Eliza to no end. Lady Susan wrote letters often detailing their encounters and how much joy she found in giving Eliza the cold shoulder. I looked forward to Lady Susan’s letters merely for entertainment purposes. The Prince Regent and Lady Susan spent the summer season in Brighton most summers but would always make it a point to visit Sanditon towards the end of the season right around Michaelmas for festivities and an occasional show put on by the newly built theatre. The Arab stallions and theatre had proven to be great successes for Sanditon, and many patrons flocked to Sanditon for these luxuries as well as the obvious luxuries of the sea bathing. 

As for Georgiana and Otis Molyneux, they stayed at Sanditon House for many years. In those years, they grew as people and as a married couple. They both had a lot of built-up resentment from their positions in society. Georgiana hated being gawked at everywhere they went. In Sanditon, most people had grown accustomed to her presence, but every summer when new guests arrived, there was always someone who would say something disrespectful. She wished more than anything to prove to everyone she was just a person like everyone else. 

She and Otis worked tirelessly with the Sons of Africa movement to help put a stop to slavery and slave trade all together. Sidney was a constant supporter of the movement himself. He felt it his duty to help the men, women, and children who were treated as less than equal to others. Georgiana dedicated her fortune that was earned on the backs of slaves, to free slaves and give them a better life. She and Otis, along with Sidney’s help, had shut down multiple secret slave trading operations. Sidney’s importing and exporting business was once again booming with customers as many traders did not want to get caught up with a shipping company that may be involved with slave trade. It wasn’t worth the risk to lose your hard-earned products on a ship that was dealing in slave trade. Sidney prided his company on being one that had never and would never be involved with slave trade. I couldn’t be prouder of the man he had become and the reputation he had earned. 

Sidney and I had made a wonderful home in Sanditon surrounded by family and friends. With the help of our families all working together, we were able to create a successful sea bathing resort. Every year proved to be more successful than the last. I still loved him beyond measure. I still longed to be in his arms at night when we were alone. And every day when I looked into the faces of our children, I was reminded of how much he loved me. There were times we argued and times we didn’t see eye to eye, but usually a trip to the cabin so we could discuss our disagreements away from the children’s ears, was all it took for us to come to some sort of an agreement and join together in love to remind ourselves just how much passion we still had inside for each other.

We walked hand in hand coming back from a night at our secluded cabin in the woods. This trip to the cabin was purely based on needing time alone for sexual pleasures. Even after ten years, we still couldn’t seem to keep our hands off of each other. We spent lots of private moments at the cabin beyond the occasional argument. 

“Sidney, I have to tell you something,” I began.

He laughed and pulled me into his arms, stopping us from walking. “I already know, my love.”

“You do?” I asked curiously.

“Do you think after all these years I wouldn’t see the signs of my wife being with child?” he asked with a huge grin on his face. 

I laughed, knowing it was hard to hide after having five children already. He knew what the signs were, perhaps even before I realized them myself. “Are you pleased?” I wondered nervously. 

“I’m always pleased when my wife brings me another child. How could I not?” he said.

“We already have five children. Do you ever think we will decide we have enough?” I wondered.

“I truly doubt it.” He grinned happily and leaned in to kiss me while his arms encircled me, molding me to his form where I fit so perfectly.

~15 years later~

~Sidney POV~

It had been fifteen years since I met Charlotte and my life changed significantly. I never thought I’d love anyone. I never thought I was worthy of love. But Charlotte came along and made me realize I was worthy of her love. She had shown me a strength I didn’t know possible. She had given me everything I had only hoped for. I watched her playing in the yard with our children, knowing I still loved her as much today as I did the day I married her. She still made my heart soar, especially when I saw her interacting with our children. Charlotte and our children were my world and because of her love, I had grown into the man I’d always wished to be. 

Lavinia, or Livi as we liked to call her, was nearly a grown woman and looked exactly like Charlotte. She was much like Charlotte in many ways also. She looked after her younger siblings, Theodore, Oliver, Isabella, Miriam, Jasper, Olivia, and baby Sophia as if she was a mother figure to them all. She took after her namesake in ways we weren’t expecting. She was opinionated and bold in her thoughts. I assumed some of that influence came from her Aunt Georgiana. But perhaps some of Lady Denham lived on in Livi as well. Charlotte encouraged her strong personality, of course, wanting nothing more than for our Livi to change the world someday. I believed she would. Despite her strong personality, she was also much her mother’s daughter. She was kind and loving towards all and even though she never went without, she was humble and wanted to give of herself to everyone she saw less fortunate than her. She worked in the library with her mother and aunts at times, finding every excuse to read a book in a quiet corner.

Charlotte and I were very hands-on with our children, only using a nanny when absolutely necessary. They were always with us and knew just how much we loved each one of them. Being a father was my greatest accomplishment. Charlotte had given me eight children over the years. She wished for a large family to fill the extravagant house we were left, so I was not one to deny her what she wanted. I could see the wear it caused on her body though. She tired easily and spent a lot of time trying out Dr. Fuchs’ bathing machine once he made some minor adjustments to the safety of the contraption. But when she was with our children, one would never sense her body was weakened in any way. They gave her strength as she gave me strength.

The only thing missing in our family adventures was our beloved dog, Heraclitus. He had been Charlotte’s constant companion during every pregnancy and every birth. I believed he loved our children even more than we did at times. Shortly after our youngest, Sophia was born, he took his last breath. It was a devastating day for all of us, but no one took it as hard as Charlotte. He gave her comfort in ways I never could. I believed he held on as long as he could, waiting to see the last child Charlotte would give him. I offered to get her another dog, but she refused, thinking no other dog would ever take the place of her beloved Heraclitus. I had to agree with her. No dog would ever replace our Heraclitus.

I held baby Sophia in my arms while I watched Charlotte run and play with the children, teaching them fun games and making them laugh with glee. When she was worn out from the excitement and couldn’t go on any longer, she collapsed next to me on the blanket. “Your turn,” she laughed. “I’ll take the baby while you go play.”

I chuckled and handed her our youngest. Charlotte kissed our daughter on the forehead while I kissed Charlotte on her forehead. “Papa come play with us,” four-year-old Jasper called out in his innocent voice. I hopped up and ran across the yard towards my brood of children. They scattered with excited cries as I chased after them, trying to gather them all up in one scoop. 

My longtime friend and brother-in-law, Crowe came walking across the yard with Alison and their children, William, Isaiah, Noah, Louisa, and baby Abigail in tow. Once the children saw their many cousins, they went running towards them to play. I sat down next to Charlotte and brushed a strand of hair out of her face before kissing her cheek. She smiled at me with so much love in her eyes. There was never a moment in my life that I couldn’t see the love she held for me in a simple glance of her eyes. 

“Good afternoon,” Alison said as they came closer.

“Good afternoon,” Charlotte repeated joyfully. Baby Sophia and baby Abigail were born just days apart from each other and at times looked almost identical. Alison carefully sat down next to Charlotte and began talking about their day’s activities. 

“What do you say, old friend?” Crowe said. “Should we show our children how to play a good game of cricket? Not counting the two babies, we have eleven players.”

I laughed and shook my head. “Might I remind you that Olivia is only three years old?”

“And she will outplay all of them, I’m sure of it,” Crowe insisted. Knowing my Olivia, I wouldn’t doubt it.

We spent a lovely afternoon with family watching our children play together and attempting to teach them the game of cricket. 

“Perhaps some of our eldest sons will someday play in the annual cricket match,” I pondered openly as I watched them try to hit the ball from afar.

“Or perhaps our daughters will play,” Charlotte argued.

I grinned bashfully, seeing the error of my ways. “I’m sure of it.”

Later in the evening after all our children were safely tucked into bed, I asked Charlotte to go for a walk with me. 

“Now?” she whined. 

“It’ll be a short walk. I promise. I received news that I wish to share with you.”

Even though she looked exhausted after the day’s events, she took my hand and walked with me into the darkness. The summer moon shone brightly above us illuminating our path. I led her across the yard until we reached the cove. We walked along the beach, listening to the waves crashing against the shore. 

“What is this news you have to share?” I asked.

“I received a letter from Georgiana and Otis today,” I began. Georgiana and Otis had settled in London so as to be closer to the action of the anti-slavery movement. They also had three children, Daniel, named after Georgiana’s father, Seth, and Edith. As much as I disliked Otis at first, I realized most of my distaste for him was because he reminded me of myself. I had done many of the same unfavorable acts in my younger years as he had and had learned how to put them behind me, yet I still had an air of self-loathing. He too, shared in that same manner until he was with Georgiana. I had learned to put my assumptions aside and truly see the man who made Georgiana happy. I didn’t hold any ill-will towards the man anymore, seeing as he had done exactly as he promised. He never once asked for Georgiana’s money, nor did he ever tell her what to do with it. He simply took care of her and their children the best he could.

“And?” she pressed.

“The movement we have worked on for years has finally come to fruition. The Slavery Abolition Act received the royal assent this week. It’s one step closer to abolishing slavery for good,” I explained happily.

“That’s wonderful!” she shouted excitedly, wrapping her arms around my neck. I picked her up and swung her around. I was sure there was still a long road ahead for slavery to be abolished completely, but it was a good start to what was sure to be a lifelong battle. 

“There’s more,” I said gleefully.

I placed her back down on the ground and looked down at her curious face. “Georgiana is expecting another child.”

Charlotte laughed excitedly at the news. I leaned down and gave her a kiss, being totally and utterly lost in the moment. 

“There’s something we’ve never done that I wish to do right now, right here,” I said.

“What is it?” she wondered.

I grinned and scanned my eyes across her form. “We live in a sea bathing community and in our sixteen years of marriage, we have never gone sea bathing together.”

Her eyes widened. “You wish to go sea bathing now?” she asked.

“It’s the best time,” I explained. “The water is still slightly warm from the sun hitting it during the day, there’s absolutely no one around to see us, and there’s a calm across the water this time of night.”

“Sidney,” she said hesitantly.

“Do you trust me?” I asked.

“Of course, I do.”

I leaned down and kissed her passionately while I began to unbutton the back of her dress like I had many times before. With a nervous breath, she removed her dress along with her stays, leaving her in only her shift. I too, removed my clothing, standing fully exposed in front of her. Her hand reached out and rested against my chest. I took her hand in mine and brought it to my lips for a gentle kiss, before placing it back against my heart.

“I love you, Charlotte. Every day I find something new to love about you. But mostly I love you for giving me the most perfect of lives. Thank you for your unwavering and constant love after all these years. You have given me a reason to wake up every morning and a reason to go to bed every night.”

She stared up at me with a small smile on her face as I spoke. I kissed her again, holding her face between my hands. With her trusting eyes connected to mine, I pulled her shift up and over her head. She shivered against the cold breeze that blew across us and curled up against my warm body. I wrapped her in my arms and guided her into the water until it was at our knees. I listened for the wave to come rolling in behind me, before falling backwards into the water, pulling her in with me. 

When we both came to the surface of the water, she squealed from the cold shock. I pulled her into my arms and held her tightly as we bobbed in the water. She took a couple deep breaths, trying desperately to warm herself. “It’s colder than I expected,” she said, shivering.

“Do you wish to get out?” I asked. 

She looked at me with so much trust in her eyes. “No. I will never leave your arms for as long as I live. I love you, Sidney. It is I who should be thanking you for giving me the life I have only ever dreamed of. It’s because of your love that I know my path was always leading me straight to these arms.” I tightened my arms around her and kissed her once again. A kiss that would last a lifetime.

AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER

THE END! THE END! THE END!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read my story and took the time to comment and let me know what you thought. I truly appreciate all of you for your kindness and love for this story.


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